10. Smurf Dancing
9. Nothing
8. Bobs his head back and forth
7. A "spiritual gift" (as he calls it) of making babies cry
6. An incredible understanding of social interactions, and how to make those interactions as uncomfortable as possible
5. Taking pictures of his friends naked, both front and back
4. Running up to you, tackling you, and then peeing on your face, as he yells, "[CENSORED]"
3. He's okay at worship
2. Money laundering
1. Pretending to be your friend until the perfect moment when you need him the most, and then he runs out on you (and also eats all of your twinkies)

10. The toilet
9. The garbage can
8. Urine
7. Vomit
6. Rotting meat
5. Sewage
4. Dog excrement
3. Pig excrement
2. Nuclear waste
1. A BIG TIME LOSER!
1. The business end of an out of work camel. (Submitted by Paula Abdul-Jabar)

10. No chance of having any "little Dannys" running around.
9. Maybe it would sedate his "spunky" personality.
8. He could hit the high notes in "Take my hand and walk."
7. GET HIM BACK AFTER HE NEUTERED ME!!! (from Danny's dog)
6. He could do the "Eddie Ahn" trick -- try to jump the railing at Stern, hit the groinal area, and then get up and be absolutely fine! Wouldn't that be a sight!
5. Celibacy? THIS is celibacy.
4. If we convince him to get himself neutered, maybe we can also convice him to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge
3. Picture this on a med school application: "Performed neutering surgery." I'm sure to get into Harvard Med then!! (from Jennifer Lee)
2. "DC Flyness" wouldn't be able to fly so high anymore, would he?
1. Since the Stanford rules say that all roomates must be of the same sex, maybe I could make a case to get the new non-male Danny out of his room, and then, I could be Eli Tsou's roomate.

10. Squeals like a pig when you strap explosives to his chest.
9. Break his legs, he fits neatly into a trunk.
8. You know the guy terrorists abuse to show negotiators that they're not bluffing? That's Danny!
7. Mysteriously attracted to men wearing pantyhose on their heads.
6. Voted "Most Likely To Be Taken Hostage" in high school.
5. No matter which side he was on when playing "Cowboys and Indians," was always traded for whiskey and rifles.
4. Constantly fights urge to jump out of moving vehicles.
3. Frequently wakes up screaming "You'll never get away with this!"
2. "Hostage for Hire: The Autobiography of Danny Chai"
1. Always has that "shaken, but unharmed" look.

10. Pie
9. High
8. Dork
7. Fly
6. My
5. Dry
4. Captain Bleigh
3. Eli
2. Some-young guy
1. DIE!!!

10. Gigolo Smurf
9. Token Minority Smurf
8. Cadaver Smurf
7. Leper Smurf
6. Serial Killer Smurf
5. Hostage Smurf
4. Annoying Taiwanese Prep School Smurf
3. Westerm Bacon CheeseSmurf
2. Heretic Smurf
1. Sweaty Groin Smurf

10. Tastes Like "Chicken"!!
9. Lice
8. Wants to look like Ricardo Montelban from ABC's hit series, "Fantasy Island."
7. So he can apply moisturizing lotion to his scalp, giving him that "Fess Parker" shine.
6. Long hair was impairing vision from his third eye.
5. Three words: the greek god Poseidon.
4. So local museum could hang 2000 pounds from single strand of hair; the diabolical Lex Luthor could steal it and create "Nuclear Boy", and they could duke it out on the moon.
3. Wanted to be big, black, and bald. Oh well, he got the last one.
2. Got caught up in the "break dancing/shaving head" craze of the early eighties.
1. "Richard Simmons made me do it!!"

10. The only 19th century Victorian fiction writer that also smoked crack.
9. Along with Milton Berle, this actor also had famous loose bowel problems.
8. African American who took six bullets, stormed a Nazi stronghold, and subsequently urinated in his pants.
7. Miss America 1973
6. Scapegoat whom Edward Kennedy blamed for Chappaquidick.
5. Tom Cruise's makeup boy for the 1987 Blockbuster, "Days of Thunder".
4. The Best 7th and 8th grade Jazz Pianist in the country.
3. The one substance in the entire world that is harder than diamond.
2. Rebellious, then reformed, first son of evangelist Billy Graham.
1. THE BIGGEST LOSER IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!!

10. Made a furious campaign to make himself a national "nature symbol" along with the bear, the swan, the perch, the birch, the lily-of-the valley and granite.
9. Supposedly fooled Lauri Ihalainen, chairmen of the trade union confederation SAK, into creating the current labor strike by using the "heads I win, tails you lose" coin trick.
8.Guest starring role as "the evil dicator" on YLE's popular TV show "Ajankohtainen Kakkonen".
7. The star of the University of Jgvaskylas' snowboard team, until Danny's crack addiction was exposed.
6. Shamed and incensed celebrators at the annual Midsummer Night Bonfire in Ostrobothia by doing the famed "Call the Elders" dance.
5. In Architectural Digest, Danny Chai was quoted as saying "I hate Alvar Aalto's work!!! We should knock down all the buildings that he has built!"
4. His screechy, annoying, flat background vocals on the No. 1 hit song, "Missa Se Vaino oh?" by J.Karjalainen Electric Sauna.
3. At the annual Kansallinen Kokoomus convention, Danny wore a T-shirt that said, "I love the Sosialidemokraattisia Puole!!"
2. Booed Teemu Selanne, famed right wing for the Jokerit Helsinki Ice Hockey team (the 1996 European Cup Champions) at his retiring number ceremony at Helsinki Ice Hall.
1. "Hyvaa iltapavaa!! Olen Danny Chai. Olen haviaja!!!!"

10. Singing that absurd song "I waited for the Lord on High," and doing that little voice crack thingy.
9. Supporting the illegal export of the beloved endangered pandas across the world.
8. That obsenely disgusting green and white short-sleeved shirt.
7. His favorite shows on TV are "Step by Step", starring Chrissy from "Three's Company" and that guy from "Dallas" and "Saved by the Bell." Direct quote: "'Step by Step' is brilliant."
6. His random and disturbing hatred for one "David Hong", one of the kindest, gentlest, warmest human beings this side of Leonard Nimoy.
5. His thirty-five unpaid parking tickets.
4. Money launderer for the secret dealings of "Toys-R-Us".
3. Once pretended (last year) he was He-Man, and ran through the streets of San-Jose only in his He-Man underoos and that He-Man X-Strap, screaming, "By the power of Greyskull, I have the power!"
2. Secretly switched the gourmet coffee used at an elegant hotel with Folger's.
1. Ate red meat with white wine.