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HISTORY OF DATING

Dating is a relatively new concept. However, the concept of courtship and the ritual of marriage have existed forever. I think that the history of courtship/dating will allow us to assess the changing dating trends, and help us to see the reasons behind the emergence and success of the online dating industry.

Colonial Times to 1830
From 1830 to 1880
From 1880 to 1920
From 1920 to 1945
From 1945 to the Present

Colonial Times to 1830

During Colonial America, marriage was highly encouraged. In fact, in some colonial towns, bachelors were harassed, fined or forced to leave the town. Singleness was seen as a sign of laziness (Cate and Lloyd, 1992). Marriage was less about romance and love and more about men finding women who could bear children to help share the heavy workload that frontier life demanded. Women chose their husbands by their ability to support a wife and family was also very important. Similar social standing and family approval were also important.

During the late 1830's, a shortage of women in the Western frontier forced men to place ads like this one, which appeared in a local Arkansas newspaper:
"Any gal that got a bed, calico dress, coffee pot and skillet, knows how to cut out britches and can make a hunting shirt, knows how to take care of children can have my services till death do us part" (Today Show, 2005). Still, there was less emphasis on love and romance. It was all about what the woman could provide the man. However, it is interesting to note the similarities between the newspaper advertisements and online daters' profile postings.

During this time, the idea of the "separate spheres" of men and women began to form. This separation also limited the ability of adolescent boys and girls to get to know one another. At puberty, girls entered the "female world" and boys in the "male world."

Courtship became more formalized. Romantic love began to flourish and was viewed as the only acceptable basis for marriage. Romantic love during this time contained not only elements of passion, but also mutuality, communion, sympathy, and openness. This was important to women because it gave them an assurance of long-term commitment. Suitor's were tested to see how strong their love/commitment was. The link between marriage and making a home was strong. A man's readiness for marriage was seen by his ability to provide a home for his new wife.

From 1880 to 1920

Romance started to play an increasingly important role during this period. However, dating was still a formal, elaborate, and slow procedure. During the late 19th century, men were seen as depraved and immoral beings. Many literary and historical figures during that time wrote about men's savage-nature and their inability to control their animal passions. Accordingly, there was a distinct separation of the male and female spheres. The lives of young men and women rarely intersected. And, when they were together, the propriety of the times required that they keep their distance from each other. The process of dating and marriage was all under the watchful eyes of the parents. Chaperones went along on the young couples' dates (Cate and Lloyd, 1992).

The growth of cities during the early 20th century gave rise to public dating (Cate and Lloyd, 1992). Since the less wealthy didn't have a formal courting system, working-class youth courted in public. More young people were on their own, working in the cities and finding dates in the cities. However, there were strict rules that still prohibited young people from total freedom in dating. There were rules that said that girls could not have boys in their rooms (Cate and Lloyd, 1992).

From 1920 to 1945

By 1920, the modern concept of dating emerged. Dating became more informal and open. Male and female interaction did not require commitment. The rise of the dating culture was seen as an "outgrowth of both the creation of an adolescence stage of the human life cycle" and the "emergence of the city culture" (Cape and Lloyd, 1992).

"Rating and dating" is a term that emerged in this time. A study was done at Penn State University that discovered that dating was more based on competition than on love (Cape and Lloyd, 1992). The men who could afford the nice things of life had a better shot than those who could not afford those things.

During this time, the notion of dating and courtship became separate entities. Dating became a vehicle for 'getting to know' someone and trying to establish a good impression, while courtship focused on finding a mate.

From 1945 to the Present

Dating began earlier for people during this era (Cate and Lloyd, 1992). Boys and girls started dating in elementary schools and junior high schools. This put a greater importance on dating and establishing romantic relationships.

The late 1900's gave women more freedom and independence. With the invention of birth control pills and start of the feminist movement, the women's role evolved. Many postponed marriage to explore college and career. Marriage and childbirth were seen as "oppression and exploitation" of women. This feminist reexamination of marriage and gender had a pronounced effect on courtship and dating. Women were able to make their own choices, in regards to dating and marriage.

Also, since women were entering the workforce and making their own income, they looked less at the man's ability to provide for the family and earn money. Instead, women sought to find partners with common interests and hobbies.

The late 1990's brought about the most significant shift in dating. With the innovation of computers and the prevalence of Internet users, people developed virtual relationships and participated in the formation of imagined communities. As the Internet expanded, men and women were able to meet in new ways. E-mails slowly replaced love letters. Chatting replaced telephone conversations. The growing prevalence of the use of the Internet as a dating mechanism is revolutionizing people's traditional views of love and romance. This new concept of love embodied by virtual dating is moving away from traditional courtship and more towards intellectual love fed to us by the media and other "professionals" (Today Show, 2005). "Twenty years from now, the idea that someone looking for love won't look for it online will be silly..." (Hanman, 2005).



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HISTORY OF DATING Dating is a relatively new concept. However, the concept of courtship and the ritual of marriage have existed forever. I think that the history of courtship/dating will allow us to assess the changing dating trends, and help us to see the reasons behind the emergence and success of the online dating industry. Colonial Times to 1830 From 1830 to 1880 From 1880 to 1920 From 1920 to 1945 From 1945 to the Present Colonial Times to 1830 During Colonial America, marriage was highly encouraged. In fact, in some colonial towns, bachelors were harassed, fined or forced to leave the town. Singleness was seen as a sign of laziness (Cate and Lloyd, 1992). Marriage was less about romance and love and more about men finding women who could bear children to help share the heavy workload that frontier life demanded. Women chose their husbands by their ability to support a wife and family was also very important. Similar social standing and family approval were also important. During the late 1830's, a shortage of women in the Western frontier forced men to place ads like this one, which appeared in a local Arkansas newspaper: "Any gal that got a bed, calico dress, coffee pot and skillet, knows how to cut out britches and can make a hunting shirt, knows how to take care of children can have my services till death do us part" (Today Show, 2005). Still, there was less emphasis on love and romance. It was all about what the woman could provide the man. However, it is interesting to note the similarities between the newspaper advertisements and online daters' profile postings. back to top From 1830 to 1880 During this time, the idea of the "separate spheres" of men and women began to form. This separation also limited the ability of adolescent boys and girls to get to know one another. At puberty, girls entered the "female world" and boys in the "male world." Courtship became more formalized. Romantic love began to flourish and was viewed as the only acceptable basis for marriage. Romantic love during this time contained not only elements of passion, but also mutuality, communion, sympathy, and openness. This was important to women because it gave them an assurance of long-term commitment. Suitor's were tested to see how strong their love/commitment was. The link between marriage and making a home was strong. A man's readiness for marriage was seen by his ability to provide a home for his new wife. back to top From 1880 to 1920 Romance started to play an increasingly important role during this period. However, dating was still a formal, elaborate, and slow procedure. During the late 19th century, men were seen as depraved and immoral beings. Many literary and historical figures during that time wrote about men's savage-nature and their inability to control their animal passions. Accordingly, there was a distinct separation of the male and female spheres. The lives of young men and women rarely intersected. And, when they were together, the propriety of the times required that they keep their distance from each other. The process of dating and marriage was all under the watchful eyes of the parents. Chaperones went along on the young couples' dates (Cate and Lloyd, 1992). The growth of cities during the early 20th century gave rise to public dating (Cate and Lloyd, 1992). Since the less wealthy didn't have a formal courting system, working-class youth courted in public. More young people were on their own, working in the cities and finding dates in the cities. However, there were strict rules that still prohibited young people from total freedom in dating. There were rules that said that girls could not have boys in their rooms (Cate and Lloyd, 1992). back to top From 1920 to 1945 By 1920, the modern concept of dating emerged. Dating became more informal and open. Male and female interaction did not require commitment. The rise of the dating culture was seen as an "outgrowth of both the creation of an adolescence stage of the human life cycle" and the "emergence of the city culture" (Cape and Lloyd, 1992). "Rating and dating" is a term that emerged in this time. A study was done at Penn State University that discovered that dating was more based on competition than on love (Cape and Lloyd, 1992). The men who could afford the nice things of life had a better shot than those who could not afford those things. During this time, the notion of dating and courtship became separate entities. Dating became a vehicle for 'getting to know' someone and trying to establish a good impression, while courtship focused on finding a mate. back to top From 1945 to the Present Dating began earlier for people during this era (Cate and Lloyd, 1992). Boys and girls started dating in elementary schools and junior high schools. This put a greater importance on dating and establishing romantic relationships. The late 1900's gave women more freedom and independence. With the invention of birth control pills and start of the feminist movement, the women's role evolved. Many postponed marriage to explore college and career. Marriage and childbirth were seen as "oppression and exploitation" of women. This feminist reexamination of marriage and gender had a pronounced effect on courtship and dating. Women were able to make their own choices, in regards to dating and marriage. Also, since women were entering the workforce and making their own income, they looked less at the man's ability to provide for the family and earn money. Instead, women sought to find partners with common interests and hobbies. The late 1990's brought about the most significant shift in dating. With the innovation of computers and the prevalence of Internet users, people developed virtual relationships and participated in the formation of imagined communities. As the Internet expanded, men and women were able to meet in new ways. E-mails slowly replaced love letters. Chatting replaced telephone conversations. The growing prevalence of the use of the Internet as a dating mechanism is revolutionizing people's traditional views of love and romance. This new concept of love embodied by virtual dating is moving away from traditional courtship and more towards intellectual love fed to us by the media and other "professionals" (Today Show, 2005). "Twenty years from now, the idea that someone looking for love won't look for it online will be silly..." (Hanman, 2005). back to top
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