1) If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your 
   life. 
2) If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, 
   and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice. 
3) Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer 
   killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man. 
4) Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second 
   favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent. 
5) Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the 
   next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of 
   the keys. 
6) Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk. 
7) Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a 
   real fact. 
8) Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to 
   Jack Bauer. 
9) 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair 
   fight. 
10) Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas. 
11) Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was 
    shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away. 
12) Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious 
    right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you. 
13) When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out. 
14) If Jack says "I just want to talk to him/her" and that him/her is 
    you... well amigo, you're screwed. 
15) Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him 
    angry. 
16) When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill 
    terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade. 
17) In grade school, a little boy punched Kimberly Bauer, and 
    Kimberly ran home to tell her dad. That little boy's name? 
    Stephen Hawking. 
18) Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets 
    when he's knocked out or temporarily killed. 
19) No man has ever used the phrase, "Jack Bauer is a wuss" in a 
    sentence and lived to tell about it. 
20) In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell. 
21) Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell 
    about it. 
22) As a child, Jack Bauer's first words were "There's no time!" 
23) Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he 
    was a child. Once. 
24) Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people. 
25) Everytime Jack Bauer yells "NOW!" at the end of a sentence, a 
    terrorist dies. 
26) If you send someone to kill Jack Bauer, the only thing you 
    accomplish is supplying him a fresh set of weapons to kill you 
    with. 
27) Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours.