YAG - yet another guestbook

• E-mail: shneka@snarf.locution.net
• Web Page: http://your.mother

CGI: So why are you here?
User: to learn about earth people
CGI: How would you define "shneka"?
User: an expletive/pseudo-article to describe dismay/no better word
CGI: And do you have any words of wisdom for the people out there?
User: "I pity the foo'!"

looking good, Jon. Especially the pictures of me. :)

• E-mail: moo
• Web Page: http://moo

CGI: So why are you here?
User: moo
CGI: How would you define "shneka"?
User: moo
CGI: And do you have any words of wisdom for the people out there?
User: moo

A rope lying over the top of a fence is the same length on each side. It
weighs one third of a pound per foot. On one end hangs a monkey holding a
banana, and on the other end a weight equal to the weight of the monkey.
The banana weighs two ounces per inch. The rope is as long (in feet) as
the age of the monkey (in years), and the weight of the monkey (in ounces)
is the same as the age of the monkey's mother. The combined age of the
monkey and its mother is thirty years. One half of the weight of the monkey,
plus the weight of the banana, is one forth as much as the weight of the
weight and the weight of the rope. The monkey's mother is half as old as
the monkey will be when it is three times as old as its mother was when she
she was half as old as the monkey will be when when it is as old as its mother
will be when she is four times as old as the monkey was when it was twice
as its mother was when she was one third as old as the monkey was when it
was old as is mother was when she was three times as old as the monkey was
when it was one fourth as old as it is now. How long is the banana?

• E-mail: same as above
• Web Page: http://blah

CGI: So why are you here?
User: Mars sent me
CGI: How would you define "shneka"?
User: a good burger joint on Jupiter
CGI: And do you have any words of wisdom for the people out there?
User: reach for the skis! err, skies!

Trick question, what does he do? He does nothing, because in driving the beginning of the bridge to the halfway point a 20-ton truck is going to consume fuel. And it'll easily consume an amount of fuel that's greater than the weight of the sparrow, so when the sparrow lands on the truck, nothing happens.

• E-mail: profplum@uclink4.berkeley.edu
• Web Page: http://www-inst.eecs.berkeley.edu/~jvierzba

CGI: So why are you here?
User: To seek the holy grail...
CGI: How would you define "shneka"?
User: Those things you put on your feet before going outside.
CGI: And do you have any words of wisdom for the people out there?
User: "I'll keep it short and sweet. Family, religion, friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. When opportunity knocks, you don't want to be driving to a maternity hospital or sitting in some phony-baloney church...or synagogue." -- H. Montgomery Burns, The Simpsons

I stopped by while looking at your pictures of Theresa's party last night. Those are some great pictures! It's a shame about the flash on your camera going out, otherwise you could have gotten even more.

Take another look at the picture of us gathering around Belinda, though, and take a look at where your hands are. I know it's a lack of depth perception, but it looks hilariously scandalous! :)

One last note, kudos on your "moron drivers" section! I really enjoyed reading that section.

• E-mail: princessleialuckybuttons@hotmail.com

CGI: So why are you here?
User: I'm here for the shneka.
CGI: How would you define "shneka"?
User: a verbal monkey that lept from my shoulders onto jonathan's back. It likes corn.
CGI: And do you have any words of wisdom for the people out there?
User: Love makes you want to stay home and keep everything still; it's pain that makes the world go round!

• E-mail: cows@moosRus.com
• Web Page: http://www.moomoo.com

CGI: So why are you here?
User: visiting a friend
CGI: How would you define "shneka"?
User: cow pattie
CGI: And do you have any words of wisdom for the people out there?
User: "We the moo ... behead you too"

"Yes, comments are grand!"

• E-mail: root@uclink4.berkeley.edu
• Web Page: http://www.perl.com

CGI: So why are you here?
User: lunch break, duh
CGI: How would you define "shneka"?
User: Email, and lots of it. Send some to "me"
CGI: And do you have any words of wisdom for the people out there?
User: Oooh. You got it right this time. Quotation, not quote.

<< From this week's cartalk puzzler >>

In Borneo, there is a bridge connecting two islands, constructed of bamboo lashed together with hemp, and it's been used for hundreds of years. The bridge is four miles long and it has a weight limit of 20 tons. One day, a truck full of sedated pigs pulls up to the bridge, ready to cross. The officials stop him and say, "We have to weigh you."
Once on the scale, the truck weighs *exactly* 20 tons. The bridge is emptied. The driver is allowed to drive across the bridge. As he drives across, a sparrow begins to follow alongside. Just when he's beyond the halfway point, the sparrow lands on the truck. What does the driver do to keep the truck and the sedated pigs from plunging into the abyss? So... how DID the driver make it across? (Note: jumping out of the cab and into the abyss is not an option.)

• E-mail: tchen@rescomp.berkeley.edu
• Web Page: http://www.yourmom.com

CGI: So why are you here?
User: can i use your restroom?
CGI: How would you define "shneka"?
User: can't, i always spell it wrong
CGI: And do you have any words of wisdom for the people out there?
User: people act on imperfect knowledge, and nobody is in possession of the ultimate truth. --open society (http://www.soros.org)

moo
mooo
moooo
mooooo
moooooo
mooooo
moooo
moo
moo
moo moo moo

(stiletto shoe)