You want the whole story? Got some time on your hands? Better check with the guards that visiting hours means several hours ... High security and all that, don't want to be caught smuggling me a hairbrush [grin], not that I need one anyway, I'm allowed to get a haircut every month, not as short as I like, but ... which brings me to being reincarnated.

Must have been three years ago when I died fighting the dragon. It ripped me in half, so I was told. I was reincarnated by a necromancer, named Talib - we later found out that he has been called the Lich Slayer, though this might just be a rumour.

Well I was brought to life again, I wasn't quite my normal self. My hair was short, the way I like it now - used to like it shoulder length or longer, I couldn't use a crossbow, but there were things I knew too ... and things I forgot, most of my memories from before I died are somewhat cloudy, it took a while for me to get back to my feet. But once I worked out what was going on, I guess I realised I'd changed a little.

I used to dislike killing, spent ten years in the army, but it still used to give me a bad feeling in side ... After I came back I didn't get that bad feeling any more, I knew how to kill a man, how to slip poison into his food, and what poisons to use. I never did this though, thought about it now and then, but I've never killed someone for money, I don't think I ever will. I guess I think it's wrong, not because of who I became, but because of who I was.

[ironic smile] My friends thought I was a nice person before the reincarnation, prone to wandering off which annoyed them, but fairly honest. I guess they didn't know me well, I guess I was more honest after I was reincarnated.

See, before I was reincarnated I'd spent a lot of time in Landfall ... it's a human city, a den of iniquity, a lot of underhanded business goes on there, there's a lot of things you can buy there which you couldn't buy in decent places. Well, I guess I got into the theme of things, difficult not to start fitting in with the populace if you want to get on okay in a place. I guess you'd say I'd become a bit seedy before I was reincarnated.

Well, after I was reborn so to speak, I tried to retrace my footsteps, trying to remember better who I was, what I had done. I didn't like much of it, I preferred to earn an honest gold than rip someone off. Wouldn't spend the money on drink either, nor women ... It was just ... I don't know ... it felt dirty and stupid I guess. I was above that sort of thing, it was a descent from the values I had had before I started travelling much, and I didn't like it.

So I became more honest, tried to clean up a bit. The others found out about some of the things I'd done, because I told them, I guess they started distrusting me, felt that I was a criminal, makes you feel fairly bad when people who you consider friends say you deserve a fate worse than death. Such is my life.

I guess I went through a fairly bad run of luck. This Talib guy wanted us to retrieve one of the parts of a necromancer, the Sundered Man. He said that the followers of Nyx were trying to put the Sundered Man back together, and that this would be terrible. I think it was part of the truth, that whoever put him back together would be able to do a lot of damage. I think both Nyx and Thasmodean - well their followers - were trying to do this.

We went to a tower in a place north of the Eshragian fields, some name like that, the northern place was Denagoth or something like that, I don't know place names around here too well.

Well in this tower, I tried to remove some traps, so we could retrieve this part of the Sundered Man. Instead I set them off, it destroyed most of the party's magical items, I had nothing left.

Worse still, I owed people about 2000 gold for the money I spent buying a magical longsword +2 that got destroyed in the explosion of spells.

So ... I had to pay my friends back, but I didn't have any money, difficult to get enough money to live off and pay people back at the same time. I kept my eye out for some shady work, just so I could get back on the right road. I've done four jobs, that's all, I've kept my hands clean mostly.

Should mention we had some problems getting to the tower, ran into a Heldanic flying ship. They grounded us, we nearly defeated them, but they took us captive. The Heldanic Knights kill people of other religions, I knew we had to break out, and to get off the damn ship.

Yes well we broke out, quite lucky really. Managed to take out the first few guards - I cut the throat of the one outside the door, hadn't even realised he'd been held by magic. Well the captain of the flying ship came down, he was a very tough priest, would have killed us if we hadn't avoided him. In the hold of the ship were some sailors we'd captured. Most of them were just being held at bay by Zim, they didn't have arms, several had been held by spells.

Well I was critically wounded at the time, one blow would have put me down, probably just a punch even. So I yelled up at the captain that we'd kill his crew if he didn't surrender, I got no response so I killed the first guy. Got to the second, still no response after I yelled again so I killed him. Third one was screaming, I yelled up that this one would be noisier, and he'd better surrender.

Turned out the captain had captured Phoranin ... she's another elf ... I'd fallen in love with her, but I think she just wanted me as a friend, she never did respond to my gifts [sigh] but to say thankyou.

So ... well you can guess I wasn't very happy, the captain yelled for us to surrender, I yelled for him to let us off and we'd let the rest of the crew live, I knew if we surrendered that the priests would be killed when we were taken back for a "fair" Heldanic trial.

The captain guy went insane I guess, locked himself in the pilot cabin with Phoranin and dropped us out of the sky. Well we tried to stop the ship falling, managed to break in there and kill him, but it didn't help. We hit the ground hard all the crew died ... which annoyed me, it was a mess, besides they shouldn't have died, no soldier should kill the other soldiers in his charge just because the situation is bad. I guess these Heldanic Knights of Vanya are mad, Aegon said that they were bad when we spoke to her - she's a high priestess of Vanya, excellent warrior, and a very nice lady too I might add.

Well, my companions were pissed off with me at killing the sailors in the hold, I guess they didn't agree with how I was trying to bargain with the captain, I guess they weren't thinking about how easy it was for the sailors to overwhelm us.

Anyway, we had to repair Zim's flying ship. Took a while, in this time some locals approached. I assumed they were normal Heldanic people, locals come to investigate the crash. I said I was working with the Heldanic Knights, when our ship had been destroyed.

Turns out the locals were rebels ... they attacked me for working with the Heldanic Knights. Ah ... damn this annoyed me, they were novice warriors, I told them to surrender, disarmed one of them, but the others kept pressing me, I parried, and the guy I disarmed picked up his weapon. Thora had cast a spell stopping some of them, but it was still three warriors on me.

They weren't good, but a well aimed blow and I would have down. So I cut one of them down, yelling at them to surrender, they got the idea as their companion fell, near cut into pieces.

So I was told off by my companions for defending myself. Guess they weren't people who got into battle too often, they used spells. To alleviate matters I agreed not to kill people who had been held magically.

Later on, maybe it was earlier? Well, we came across a young girl who's parents had been killed by some spirits or mages or something, she wasn't very coherent. Then these whirling blades appeared, like she'd described, I picked her up, and hid her in the bushes, trying to make sure she would be safe from harm.

These blades started hitting my companions and multiplying. I headed up the trail, to try and get the mages. But there were no mages to be found, climbed a tree to try and see what was doing it ... strangely the young girl was magical.

I charged down and yelled at her in Elven to stop the blades, she responded saying it wasn't her, but she was hiding the truth, I was going to run her through on my blade, through the stomach so that she'd live a short while and the priests could heal her.

Thora cast a spell which caused Tessarael to collapse, and the girl escaped. My companions eventually found out she was an old crone, some sort of monstrosity, who eats people. Well they killed her because she wouldn't agree to stop eating people.

I got taken to task for threatening the young girl, this after I'd yelled at my companions that she was magical. I guess they'd started distrusting my judgement, I was proved to be right, but it didn't matter. I guess they'd started wanting to think the worst of me, and matters just got worse, though I tried to sort things out. Amora and Lani agreed with me, but the others were angry.

Well I guess that's most of the events that were mentioned against me at the trial. Oh yeah, later on after finding the part of the Sundered Man in the tower in Denagoth, we headed back to Sodjerford, to find a gateway through to Freya, so that Freya could fix up the sword, a powerful artifact which was nearly completed.

We came across a beautiful woman, a water nymph she said, she'd been frightened into a small pool by a large carnivorous snake. Well we agreed to get rid of the snake for her, though Thora wanted to talk to it. Thora talked to it and convinced it to leave, I wanted to kill it, but I should have said this and why before, so I was wrong, and admitted so, after Thora intercepted me attacking it. It left, hopefully it won't go back and kill the nymph.

With the exception of the water snake, I've kept my blade clean of attacking people who haven't lunged out at me or people who have been magically held until this terrible episode in Serraine. Not that this mattered to my companions, they had it in for me I guess. [depressed sigh] I didn't find this out until too late.

Well we went to Serraine, to talk to T’saz. I had known for some time about a group called the Blessed Radiance, lead by Rad ... there's going to be a war between the gods in two years. I told Zim, Phoranin, and T’saz. Guess Zim doesn't care that I trusted him and thought he was a friend.

Well T’saz had done some research and the others did a bit. But there was something else preying on my mind. I'd known for a while that there is going to be a war, in the next few months ... well I wanted to stop that war, and hoped someone I respected, someone who while not being directly involved in the conflict, might be able to do something to stop it.

So I teleported off into danger to try and stop this war. Like Ariah says, blood shouldn't be spilt when there's no reason. Fat lot of good my efforts and expense achieved, I was jailed and held. Eventually some friends got me out of jail, but they told me to tell them info next time, rather than trying to tell someone important.

Stupid thing is, I don't think that guy ever got the information. Depressing. It's annoying when you get cut off because people don't care in your opinion, and don't trust you.

Well I got out with the help of some friends, but no chance I could get back to my companions. Decided I should do something useful, we knew we could find out more information in a city on a watery road - it was either Glantri city or a place underwater in Alphatia. I figured it was probably Glantri city, and that was near where I was in Darokin.

So I headed to Glantri, hired on as a guard of a merchant caravan - decent, honest, respectable work. How I wished I'd realised how much the others hated me, there's a friend of mine who was a guard as well - Karenthil, nice guy, honest, comes from Alfheim. He didn't have the capital, but wanted to start up a pottery business some time, I wanted to too, sounded like good money, had the capital, but had more important stuff to do first. Agreed to meet up with him in Alfheim some time in the next few years, [sigh] wished I'd agreed to set it up with him them. Would have been a decent life till another war breaks out - expect one between Glantri and Alphatia soon.

Hell, well I went to Glantri city to find out about this war between the gods. Turns out the mages there, some of them are Shepherds of Rad, they are like priests more or less ... didn't have time to find out more. I so wish I had stayed ...

Phoranin appeared, said they had located a piece of the Sundered Man in Serraine, that she had to go somewhere else, but that I could go back to Serraine. Well I was frantic, we needed to get hold of this piece of the Sundered Man and get it into sake keeping. Of course I went. I can't believe how much of a fool I was, to think my companions wanted my help ... I swear if I get out of this jail alive I'll avoid those double-crossing bastards. To think I thought they were friends, ok I didn't get on with Thora, but we'd still fight side by side when the need arose.

Well things got crappy after this. Pissed off T’saz by being in a rush to get into her house and get the stuff I had left behind, set off some traps on her door. Though I paid to have these replaced - did anyone care? No. Hell Zim brought this up in the trial, can't anyone make an honest mistake and pay the consequences any more?

Well ... the nagpa, council member, had an urn alright. Stompery had delivered it, and there was a guy called Vasilev in town. Vasilev had questioned people in town about the nagpa.

Hmmm ... now here's where things get interesting. I swear the others have leapt to the wrong conclusions. See the librarian Vasilev spoke to couldn't remember anything, but someone killed the librarian. Now I take a while to reason things through, so figured it was Vasilev at the time. But why would Vasilev the vampire kill them if they couldn't remember anything?

No. Someone else is in Serraine and up to something. I wonder, hopefully they'll assume I don't know anything, dying in jail isn't something I look forward to.

Well I found Vasilev and tracked him into an upmarket restaurant. Wandered over to Vasilev's table and said I knew some stuff about urns.

Vasilev invited me upstairs to talk, well I wanted information, tried to play him to find out who he was, who he was working for. Told him I knew stuff about the Sundered Man, he asked who I was working for, I said I was an independent agent - he never found out otherwise. He said he was working for Prince Morphail, some vampire prince I guess.

But then things get bad. I knew Vasilev had tried stuff on me, but it hadn't worked. However I was locked in a room with him and his hunch-backed helper, speaking of which - no one has tried to find that hunch-back, damn they've missed a lot of stuff. If only I wasn't in the can, I could help, or at least make my own enquires into the Shepherds of Rad. There I go forgetting who got me into jail, friends who were enemies, perhaps they were working for another side in this complex web.

Well Vasilev worked his stuff on me again, and I was charmed. Told him all I knew about the Sundered Man, I don't think my companions realise how bad things are, but if they can't raise a finger, can't even come and say hi, then screw them. Amora knows, she was always my friend, trustable and dependable. The others can get killed, I'm doing my time, I'd help them, but I'm going to sit here and twiddle my thumbs - till Serraine gets caught up in the middle of things, and then I'll die in my cell as things fall to pieces outside I expect [bitter smile].

Well Vasilev said I had completely the wrong idea, and to leave it to him. I'd told him the Nagpa and Freya had two of the urns - wasn't any new information for him, well the Freya bit was, but not like anyone would attack Freya, not the followers anyway. Besides I expect Freya had traded it onto Thasmodean, or would do so anyway, fairly sure they were working together, Freya is the enemy of Nyx, Thasmodean thwarted Nyx, it figures that the terrible Night Giant didn't attack us because Thasmodean had a deal with Freya.

Anyway back to the urns ... so we kept an eye on the Nagpa's house and stuff like that. Found Vasilev and the Nagpa bargaining, I couldn't say anything, the charm prevented me saying stuff about Vasilev. But we went and burgled the Nagpa's house to retrieve the urn.

Well if the Nagpa was a necromancer and had a piece of the Sundered Man and wasn't going to help us after we warned him, well that Nagpa must have been bad. We got them caught after being trapped between some undead - I hate undead, horrible stuff, good way to get thoroughly killed, avoid them if you can.

The priests magically held his apprentice, there were some undead back aways that Ariah had turned away with her faith in Morgan - a male god of healing. The nagpa managed to escape. I killed the apprentice without thinking, wish I hadn't, but you can't take back your actions. Turned out he was bad too, just as I knew, anyone making undead which drain life should be killed before they make more. I guess I might have thought more if I wasn't a bit befuddled by the charm, don't know.

Well we got the urn, it turned out to be something that created undead, that's what Amora said the others said.

Anyway, that night, soon after the events as we were trying to sort things out, we rushed into the Master of the Onyx Tower and Vasilev fighting - now we saw that Vasilev was a vampire. The Master of the Onyx Tower yelled at us to help, the others all rushed in to deal with Vasilev so I did too, but Vasilev told me to kill the Master of the Onyx Tower, under the effects of the charm, I attacked the Master of the Onyx Tower.

Well Thora knocked me out, for which I am thankful. I woke up in jail, still needing to kill the Master of the Onyx Tower. Broke out and tried to get into the tower to kill him, I tried but fell, fortunately ... well I ran ... I knew that there might be trouble as I'd set alarms off.

Hid in the Serraine undercity, I was panicky and scared once I heard there were guards out after me. My companions didn't contact me or anything, next thing I knew I heard what sound like a group of armed men around the corridor, heard their armour and weapons so it must have been the patrol - well I ran the hell out of there. Managed to escape them too.

Next time wasn't so good. Next day they came in for me, they came in force. Heard one lot, so ran, well I heard others from the other corridors ... there was no way out, I was cornered, and knew I'd be jailed for years if not worse for attacking the Master of the Onyx Tower, and whatever else they were tracking me down for - they were so persistent, they must have had some heavy charges which they were going to pin on me, aint heard of anyone else who was a minor criminal being hunted down that hard in Serraine.

So I hid in an alcove, I only had a shortsword, needed another weapon ... they had scouts out, I tried to take out one, didn't want to kill him but wanted to down him, his companions could take care of him, and it would slow them down too. No such luck, he drew his sword and we got into a battle, the worst possible thing in the situation for me.

I tried to chop him down, but ... well he was a decent fighter, not as good as me, but he was holding up. I turned and ran after a short exchange of blows, running straight into Thora and a group of guards.

Must have been Thora and Remus tracking me, must have been Thora who'd got the witch hunt going, I knew she didn't like me, and Rafiel had told me that Thora was to be watched, and to thwart Freya's plans. Well I tried to jump past them, I did too.

Ran off, but Remus went for me ... I can't believe how many times I went hunting with that wolf, thought he was a friend, liked him too. I guess it wasn't so though ... I guess Thora was just using Remus to keep an eye on me, I'm fairly sure Freya must have told Thora something similar to what Rafiel tell me, Freya having said Rafiel was evil.

[depressed silence follows for a bit] [sigh]

Best get back to the tale, no point bemoaning friends who never were really my friends.

[sigh]

Well, I tried to out run Remus, hadn't succeeded but I was running out of breath, pulled to a stop, and kept quiet, I was a bit ahead, so maybe I'd manage to keep away. Seems it worked.

Soon Remus must have picked up the trail, because he and Thora came round the corner on me. Well I attacked Thora, in my weakened state the only chance was to overpower Thora and force her to keep Remus off me.

I don't know how I did it, must have been despiration but bleeding all over her, I managed to grapple her and get a sword to her neck. Remus backed off, and I spoke to her, telling her about needing to kill the Master of the Onyx Tower and my friend Vasilev.

- dammit. She could have told them. She could have done something. But no, why we should do that? Better that Tessarael rot in jail. [bitter snort] Told her I didn't want to hurt her, nor Remus, true too ...

Well. The gnomes caught up, I demanded safe passage out of Serraine in exchange for letting Thora go. I'd told Thora I wouldn't kill her, to pretend to die if I caused her to bleed a little, if the guards got crappy ...

This never came out. Nothing ever came out. No one ever heard my side, or those who did, had their own agenda. Deaf ears ... dead people. Two years aint long. And I'll be rotting it out in jail. [bitter snort]

Safranna never supported me at the trial or came to see me ... I'd thought she was a friend. I guess she was just keeping an eye on me too, like Thora, a pawn of Freya. Probably be easier for them if I killed myself or died trying to escape.

Course, if I did escape they'd fear me hunting them down and killing them. That's what Amora said about some of the things they'd been saying about the lover of the Empress of Alphatia.

[laugh] I should just escape to give them nightmares. [amused grin] Well it would be fair payment, wouldn't hunt them down and kill them though. Nope, seeing as Phoranin wasn't interested, guess I'd head to Alfheim ... try and find a sweet Elvish lass for myself there. They have some good-looking women, treat you well too. Set up a pottery business with Karenthil, get rich, settle down and get married. [wistful smile]

Even Phoranin didn't trust me at the end before she left. Not enough to tell me why she had to go. I would have laid down my life for her. Killed a giant in one blow defending her ... must have been love or the gods smiling sweetly on my blade.

[twisted smile] We'll see how the gods get me out of this one. Or in it one might say. Perhaps I'll die peacefully, perhaps not. Four years is a long time. I don't want to die. I don't want this war of the gods. I don't want wars. I want to help sort things out, see the sun set, hug a tree and feel the warm wind against my face, and someone gentle to snuggle in fading glows of the sun. But the only person I can see there is Phoranin, and the only rays I see are the lines in my cell and the short amount of time I get outside my cell.

Where was I? I was trying to barter my way out of that appalling situation without getting anyone killed. Well they agreed to my demands, they might have decided to double-cross me, hell everyone else did, but well ... you have to trust people, you have to try and have a little faith in the world.

[short smile and a little surprise, then ironic mirth] Thora cast a healing spell on me, I guess maybe she felt sorry for me in my state, or maybe she was scared - probably both. Least she didn't try anything stupid, if she'd crossed me then I would have killed her, Rafiel told me to thwart Freya's plans, well far as I'm concerned Rafiel can get stuffed if that includes killing my friends ... Thora ... well not even Thora, didn't want her killed. Or hurt. Had no choice there though, she would have cast spells otherwise, and there was no way I could outrun Remus any more.

Well ... perhaps the guards did double-cross me, because heading out of the undercity, some strange creatures attacked, centipede like things, I've avoided them the once I've seen them in the past. Well they paralyzed Amora and some of the guards, so I got the hell out of there once Thora was paralyzed. No point hanging around to be paralyzed by these summoned creatures, or perhaps they were just denizens of the undercity.

Sure enough the guards had complied with my demands, there was a mage and some pegataurs in the disreputable part of the city at the grate I had specified. But I didn't go to them, stayed above and out. They'd probably search the undercity again, so best keep out of it.

I was able to arrange passage out, for a thousand Serraine gold. Well I didn't have anything did I? Had to steal it, but did so. I'd pay the money back now but then there would be more offences to hang my neck well ... those people will live.

Got out on a cloud clipper like Zim's ship, and put down in the middle of nowhere. Bastard's tracked me magically and appeared with the Master of the Onyx Tower. I ran ... but was immediately held magically.

It was an eye-opener to listen to Zim denouncing me while I was held. I can remember it crystal clear, despite have been charmed at the time. I don't understand.

Something must have happened to turn Zim against me. Maybe Zim was working with Thora.

I had thought Zim was a friend.

[runs hand back through hair, musing thoughtfully]

Guess I can thank this for showing me how wrong I was to think myself safe and a friend of the people I was travelling with.

[sigh]

Well ... we know what happened at the trial. Thora had her chance to stand up and say I was bloodthirsty, Zim got up and said I'd wanted to set up fencing ... a lie. Must have been working with the prosecution to nail me. All I'd ever said to Zim was that I'd been approached to fence some stuff in Serraine and had declined. But pointed out there might be something there if he was interested.

You trust people, and are honest with them, and they turn your words against them. Well I guess this way I'll die knowing the problems they'll face, without them ever knowing how I was trying to help.

[ironic grin and hard glint in eye] [pauses, examining the wall for a while]

[laughs] Got the best lawyer in Serraine for my trial. Well someone must have been paying the judges well or playing a hand behind the scenes, someone wanted me nailed really well, thought the lawyer would have got through on the fact I was charmed. Didn't help that my "friends" spoke against me.

What a tale I have to tell ... but no one to tell. Well Amora knows, she's a dependable friend, I'll catch up with her in Whiteheart some time if I live through the war of the gods. Pawns as we are, who knows what will happen to us next ...

[goes on thinking quietly to himself]