2006.08.17
가주의 꿈 gajoouy ggoom (cal
i4nia dreamin')
목요일 오후: i just came back from a b.day lunch 4 1'f my cowerkers who was in the college program w/ me. i'd 4gotten that her b.day was 2day, but then my pa1mone t5 reminded me, n' i asked some other cowerker friends if there was a lunch 4 her, n' there was. 'twas @ a place called thai spoons; which is, as 1 guy called it, a "scoop place," i.e. a steam plate type cafeteria restaurant. yah, it's fast. it's decent.
*sigh* neway, this morn was not a great morn as usual, i wanted to hit up the sunnyvale skate park but didn't. i didn't wake up @ 530a as i usual do but like @ six sumpthin'. the beautiful kaela hwang was asleep n' i tried to wake her up. if i leave 4 the skate park or gym w/o waking her up, she gets mad. i dunno if she just doesn't want me to go to the skate park or what. it cms that most gurls have an aversion to skateboarding. in that respekt its unlike snowboarding. gurls like snowboarding better. i dunno... i'm not sure if she doesn't like my skateboarding... she kewl w/ my snowboarding, since we do that 2gether. in a way, skateboarding's an extension'f snowboarding 4 me... but i dunno. in ne case, it's good exercise 4 me. some morns, kaela leave 4 skool super.early. those days, i hit up the skate park 'round 700a, rt? i can skate 4 like an hr n' then go into werk. a few months 'go, i was waking up even earlier. i know others, like my skate buddy mike over there, arrive @ the skate park @ 630a. i wish i could do that each day. neway, 2day, i skipped the skate park 4 a few reasons: 1) i didn't want kaela to get mad @ me 4 leaving w/o waking her up. 2) i figured i might as well 'least physically spend time w/ kaela if not mentally (since she was asleep). 3) my body's still hindered by those physical manifestations'f mental stress, i.e. the messed up neck, shoulders, n' thoracic (back). kaela did do a li'l 2ward helping that last nite, but she was 2 tired to do much. 3) by the time things came 2gether this morn, it was 2 late to hit up the skate park. *sigh* neway... i didn't hit up the skate park n' worse yet didn't even ride my bike to werk! u c, in the morn, i got on my laptop to do some werk from home since i've got tons'f pressure from werk to werk more... or 'least put in more hrs. (those 2 things r totally not the same, but some ol' fashion, outmoded ppl don't realise that.) i got some werk done n' then put my 'puter into hibernation. just then, i got a txt msg on my fon from my bank. shoot! sumpthin' had gone drastically wrong, n' i had a financial disaster on my hands. ugh... man... it has to do w/ how i've been xferring $$$ from acct to acct to maximise my interest. *sigh* i hate when this happens! like, u try to make $$$ from interest, but then in the end, u lose everything to fees when u make 1 small mistake. *sigh* well, i've been in worse situations in recent yrs, where i just plain didn't have $$$ to cover my bills; but rt now... it's not that i don't have $$$ to pay off the bills; but the $$$ was just in the wrong accts. it's not as bad but still not good. i'm ok w/ budgeting the $$$ i $pend on my ¢redit ¢ard, but when i $pend 2 much ¢a$h, ¢he¢k$, n' online payments... ugh! i guess all the li'l things added up. also, i'd gotten to aggre$$ive n' greedy w/ my investing 4 measly interest. well, interest rates have gone up, so.... *shrug* u konw, i guess when i was a kid, interest rates were pretty hi, so i grew up w/ the idea that bank interest is a good way to make $$$. i dunno... other ppl realise better that it's better not to hordejur $$$ in $avings accts... but i dunno... there's a time to put $$$ in bank accts, n' there's a time to invest in $tocks n' bonds, rt? *shrug* *sigh*
well, last nite, i didn't go to will's turbo kick box (tkb) class but went straight home after a long, long werkday cos 1) i was so frickin' stressed out from the cr@p i take @ werk from bad ppl, n' 2) i 'gain felt i needed to give my body rest in order to nurse those physically injuries from mental stress from werk, as i keep saying. ugh, my neck, thoracic, n' shoulders!!! well, i wanted to come home to werk on stuff 4 sat's lu.au, i.e. my b.day party. u c, kaela has now told our friends that i'll be djing @ the party. i don't mind; i'd like that. however, i should've been getting my materials ready last nite 4 that. however... i was tired. i also wanted to do some yardwerk, but i was 2 tired. i couldn't do much more than be a frickin' couch potato n' sit on the courch n' eat ¢0$+¢0 (costco) sushi, while re.watching an episode'f mbc's 내 이름은 김삼순 nae ireumeun kimsamsoon. (here's the english.language wikipedia article 4 this wonderful drama: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Name_is_Kim_Sam_Soon.) i was such a couch potato last nite, but... *sigh* :-( i dunno. u know what? while i was being a couch potato, kaela aktually went to will's turbo kick box (tkb) class @ the east arques 24 hour fitness. u c, yesterday, kaela grabbed my lg chocolate fon n' not hers. i had to use hers, n' her? she had mine, but mine was out'f batteries cos i'd been watching mindless vcast clips on it the nite b4. i'd tried to call n' txt msg my fon since i'd 4gotten that it'd run out'f batteries. i couldn't reach kaela all day, not even via e.mail; so i didn't know she was gonna go to the tkb class. :-( *sigh* am i having a streak'f bad luck these days, or am i simply not looking @ the world w/ the rt vision? *shrug* whadya think? i mean... i do know that i've been trying to accomplish so much lately; i've been juggling so many tasks n' maybe even stretching myself a li'l thin. *sigh* haven't i made sacrfices? like, a while 'go, i realised that i hand't been weightlifting lately, n' that i'd lost some strength. i wanted to tell myself that i should hit the weight rm more, but then i decided instead to tell myself that skipping the weights'd be 1'f my sacrifices rt now in order to take care'f the other things i take care'f these days. yah? no? *shrug* good idea? bad idea? *sigh* also, i'm aktually making sacrifices via not hittin' up the sunnyvale skate park as often as i want to. really, i wanna go more; but i haven't been going as much as i'd like to. u know... up until this summer when i took on teaching duties in taekwondo, i had 'lot more spare time. soon, i'll be both teaching taekwondo n' facilitating our couples small grp. i've got increased responsibilities in both taekwondo n' church. i dunno... in some ways, it's scary; but u know what? this may sound cocky; but i'm a natural born leader. really. i dunno... god made me to be a leader... of course, not always.. i'm not to be a leader all the time. however, i do possess the capability or capacity to be a leader when needed. it's not the easiest thing in the world... but i can do it... when needed. leadership: it's a funny thing. like... sure, u can be a leader to serve urself; or else u can be a leader to serve others. of course, i try to be the latter. or... *sigh* i'd like to think i lead in order to serve others. i know i have some bad tendencies like hesitation to delegate n' maybe even being a micromanager @ times. however... i've definitely told myself not to be a micromanager, 'specially after having had to deal w/ frickin' micromanager types in the werkplace. micromanagement sucks; so i avoid it, myself. i dunno... could i say that i lead from the bottom? *shrug* well, w/ church matters, i really feel i'm in the position'f leadership but only w/ the attitude that "it's the weak leading the strong." i dunno; i don't wanna let that ever be an excuse 4 bad leadership or bad behaviour.
[later] 저녁 이지만 아직도 직장에서: 가주의 꿈 (cal
i4ia dreamin') - this morn, as i drove to werk on such a hard morn,
pennywise's cover'f "california dreaming" came up on my car's mp3 playa. i really dug it, really got into it. really... cali4nia dreamin'... it's funny cos 1) i'm here, livin' in cali4nia, n' 2) it's a beautiful, sunny day... (think 'bout the sanctus real cover'f u2's "beautiful day.") so how can i really be cali4nia dreamin'?!?! well, heck! under all this pressure; i'm not feelin' cali4nia. (is that a play on the movie title feeling minnesota?) i should be out skateboarding n' snowboarding! what's w/ this gloomy, grey cloud doing, hoverin' over my head these days? dude, outside, it's a "high of 75!" what's up?! when i was in durham, england the summer after my sr yr'f hi skool (aka the summer b4 my freshman yr'f college), the kids in my host family brought me to the local pub called the shakespeare, where i insisted on drinking only coke 
n' not bier, since the san josé youth symphony sed that we'd get in plenty'f trouble n' get sent home if we were caught drinkin' alcohol. neway, the host teenager got in some heated, political debate w/ some long.haired, rock n' roll dude w/ a gurl under each arm. @ the end, the rocker dude asked me why i didn't have nething to say. i told him i was from amerikkka, from cali4nia, n' he asked, "what're you doing in the shakespeare then? you should be out surfin'!" true dat. this past yr, i've really rekindled my passion 4 boardsports by picking back up skateboarding, eh? i dunno... sumpthin' 'bout a pennywise cover'f "cali4nia dreaming" cms so boardsportish.
"california dreaming" - the mamas & papas
all the leaves are brown
나뭇잎들은 모두 시들고
and the sky is grey
하늘마저 희뿌옇게 물들어 있습니다
i've been for a walk on a winters day
이 겨울날의 거리를 걸어 왔지요
i'd be safe and warm if i was in l.a.
내가 la에 있었다면 평화롭고 따듯하게 보낼 수 있었을 텐데
california dreaming on such a winters day
이 음울한 겨울날 캘리포니아를 꿈꿉니다
stopped into a church
교회에 들리게 되었고
i passed along the way
길을 따라 걷고 있었지요
oh i got down on my knees and i pretend to pray
나는 무릎을 꿇고 기도하는 척 했습니다
you know the preacher likes the cold
목사님은 냉랭한 공기를 좋아하셨지요
he knows i'm gonna stay
그 목사님은 내가 여기에 머무르리라는 것을 알고 있었습니다
california dreaming on such a winters day
이 겨울날 캘리포니아를 꿈꿔 봅니다
[later] now, think 'bout the atari's cover'f don henley's "boys of summer." summer's winding down. who was it? either the breeders or l7 who sang "summer is ready when you are." hrm... which 1? *sigh* i can barely 'member.
[later] aktually 1201a, 2006년08월18일: here's 1 pic since i haven't posted pix lately. it's from my saturday spent @ the grx facilitators retreat @ pt bonita in sausalito.
i didn't paint that; i just thought 'twas cute n' wanted a pic w/ it.