<center>2006.04.26</center>
<a name="personaljesus"><h3>"personal jesus"</h3></a>
<p>수요일 아침: 1 more day till the 
<a href="http://www2.depeche-mode.com/" target="new">depeche mode</a> concert. &nbsp; i wish i weren't so bizzy w/ werk n' that i had the time i had when i was a kid to get fully excited 'bout this. &nbsp; i mean, yah, i <i>am</i> excited, but man... back when i was a kid, i had time to get <i>really</i> excited, u know? *sigh* it makes u question why we ever grew up, eh? &nbsp; yesterday, the beautiful <a href="http://www.realestatesforcharity.com" target="new">kaela hwang</a> told me that she dropped her nice sony vaio laptop n' the monitor's got a prob. *sigh* i'm sure it'll &cent;o$t like $500 or more to fix. &nbsp; it sucks that w/ so many things, u pay <i>sooo</i> much to get them fixed. &nbsp; i hate that! &nbsp; it's kapitalisme/consumerism @ its worst. &nbsp; companies just want u to keep buying new things n' never getting ur existing things fixed. &nbsp; it sucks! &nbsp; it's <i>unenvironmental</i>! &nbsp; it's frustrating that she keeps breaking n' losing things. &nbsp; it makes me think we should buy only the most rugged elektronics 4 her. &nbsp; then 'gain, there's a prob w/ elektronics 2day: there's not 'nuff mechani<font face="script" color="blue" size="+3">cal</font> engineering in them... so produkts <i>rn't</i> built rugged 'nuff n' they rn't serviceable 'nuff etc. &nbsp; sucks, sucks, $u&cent;k$. &nbsp; kaela lost her ipod mini back in washington, dc. &nbsp; she hadn't owned it 4 very long.
<p>2nite, i hope to hit up the 730p turbo kick box (tkb) class @ the e. arques 24 hr fitness aktive. &nbsp; i <i>could</i> instead go to the 700p turbo kick box (tkb) class @ the fremont ave 24 hr fitness sport; but i doubt i'll get out'f werk in time 4 <i>that</i>. &nbsp; i dunno... &nbsp; i like the idea'f going to more fitness classes now that i'm @ 24 hr fitness. &nbsp; i think they'll help keep exercise fun. &nbsp; also, i think they'll help me werkout @ a good pace. &nbsp; 2 often, when i werkout on my own, i'm inefficient or lazy. &nbsp; i realised on mon nite @ 24 hr fitness, that over the past few months, while only werking out @ my werk.com gym, i'd been werking out amongst ppl who just rn't as fit as the ppl i was 'round @ 24 hr fitness. &nbsp; the atmosephere @ this club, from what i saw on mon nite, is a li'l interesting. &nbsp; like @ the capitol expwy bally that kaela n' i used to go to, it was a bit'f an asian or latino meat market, w/ lots'f ppl who looked like they were single ppl there just to meet/watch other single ppl. &nbsp; @ the hamilton ave bally, we saw more serious athletes n' fitness types. &nbsp; on mon nite, i saw sort'f a combination'f the 2: a lot'f fit single ppl who looked like they were just there to watch  other fit single ppl. &nbsp; however, later in the nite, i saw more'f the out'f shape ppl come in. &nbsp; it's kind'f interesting. &nbsp; it's like there r shifts. &nbsp; <i>earlier</i> in the evening, many'f those folks looked like the young single ppl i c @ <font color="#ff9900"><a href="http://www.grx.org" target="new">grx</a></font>. &nbsp; kaela n' i saw 1 guy who was aktually <i>wearing</i> a <font color="#ff9900"><a href="http://www.grx.org" target="new">grx</a></font> t.shirt, but i was very sure many, many more'f those young, asian ppl were <font color="#ff9900"><a href="http://www.grx.org" target="new">grx</a></font> regulars. &nbsp; i know that, in a good <i>n'</i> not as good way, <font color="#ff9900"><a href="http://www.grx.org" target="new">grx</a></font> has a rep as being a place 4 young, single asians. &nbsp; however, i hope the fakt that i'm leading a couples small grp sort'f balances that out, u know?
<p>[later] argh, my 'puter froze, so i restartd it (hard reset) n' lost a bit'f text here. &nbsp; neway... it wasn't much.
<p>last nite, i went w/ sooni to taekwondo praktice, but kaela didn't come. &nbsp; lemme emphasize 'gain that mark n' i r teaching a adult beginners class, starting in june! &nbsp; plz come n/or tell ur friends to come. &nbsp; it's s'pposed to be $200 4 10 wks, including 도복 dobok (uniform).
<ul><u>10.day santa clara weather 4cast</u> (from weather.com)
<li>오늘 (수요일), 04월 26일: 52~68&deg;f</li>
<li>내일 (목요일), 04월 27일: 54~76&deg;f</li>
<li>모레 (금요일), 04월 28일: 57~76&deg;f</li>
<li>토요일, 04월 29일: 57~76&deg;f</li>
<li>일요일, 04월 30일: 58~79&deg;f</li>
<li>월요일, 05월 01일: 60~81&deg;f</li>
<li>화요일, 05월 02일: 57~79&deg;f</li>
<li>수요일, 05월 03일: 54~73&deg;f</li>
<li>목요일, 05월 04일: 53~70&deg;f</li>
<li>금요일, 05월 05일: 52~68&deg;f</li></ul>
so it looks like the weather's gonna be relatively <u>pleasant</u> 4 the next several days, eh? &nbsp; wow, we're having qutie <i>mild</i> weawther. &nbsp; this morn, when i took sooni out 4 her morn walk, it was a bit chilly; n' i had to bundle up. &nbsp; however, wow... it's quite <i>mild</i>. &nbsp; this wknd should be quite nice. &nbsp; i have lunch potlucks on both sat n' sun! &nbsp; crazy, eh? &nbsp; it'll be nice weather 4 the potlucks. &nbsp; wow, if it <i>really</i> hits 80&deng;f on next mon, it'll be a change'f pace, eh? &nbsp; i wouldn't mind a mild summer this yr. &nbsp; the summer'f 2003 was really hot. &nbsp; last summer? &nbsp; i think last summer was rather mild. &nbsp; how was the summer'f 2004? &nbsp; <tt>:-?</tt> i 4get... i <i>think</i> 'twas still warm but cooler than the summer'f 2003.
<p>kaela n' i've been watching the mbc drama <i>내사랑 팥쥐 (nae sarang patzzi)</i> (my love patzzi) (starring 장나라jang nara) on dvd, thanks to roland. &nbsp; it's a bit'f an older miniseries but of course still fun. &nbsp; it reminds me'f the kbs miniseries <i>loving you</i> (starring 김유진 kim yoojin [eugene kim]'f s.e.s.). &nbsp; "유치하게 yoochihagei" = "childish, juvenile."
<p>[later] <b>man's best friend</b>: u know, i wish i could express to u in wurds the joys'f dog ownership. &nbsp; i'm happy when i come home n' sooni's so happy to c me. &nbsp; i think almost all dog owners experience this. &nbsp; dogs r very social animals, as they say. &nbsp; sooni's a great dog.
<p>[later] 오후: its depeche mode wk here @ <i>the beno journal</i>. &nbsp; here r some lyrics to commemorate 2morrow's concert:
<p><font face="garamond, times new roman" color="black">
"precious" by depeche mode
<p>precious and fragile things<br>
need special handling<br>
my god what have we done to you?
<p>we always try to share<br>
the tenderest of care<br>
now look what we have put you through
<p>things get damaged<br>
things get broken<br>
i thought we'd manage<br>
but words left unspoken<br>
left us so brittle<br>
there was so little left to give
<p>angels with silver wings<br>
shouldn't know suffering<br>
i wish i could take the pain for you
<p>if god has a master plan<br>
that only he understands<br>
i hope it's your eyes he's seeing through
<p>things get damaged<br>
things get broken<br>
i thought we'd manage<br>
but words left unspoken<br>
left us so brittle<br>
there was so little left to give
<p>i pray you learn to trust<br>
have faith in both of us<br>
and keep room in your hearts for two
<p>things get damaged<br>
things get broken<br>
i thought we'd manage<br>
but words left unspoken<br>
left us so brittle<br>
there was so little left to give</font>
<p>during my lunchbrk, i went to a spin class @ the nearby 24 hr fitness. &nbsp; it's really close to my office. &nbsp; it felt great. &nbsp; afterwards, i picked up a 6" coldcut sandwich meal to go from the nearby <font color="#770000">ko</font><font color="#000099">rean</font> subway, where julie used to werk. &nbsp; [later] in that same area is the haircutting place that took off all my hair. &nbsp; i do badly need 'nother haircut asap. &nbsp; i need to set a deadline, when if i don't get a haircut from kaela by that date, i'll just pay 4 1.
<p>[later] <b>beno the revelator</b>: the depeche mode track "john the revelator" from their most recent <i>playing the angel</i> album criticises the modern day christian church. &nbsp; check out this mildly interesting online article: 
<a href="http://www.stillspeaking.com/arts/music/110705.html" 
target="new">http://www.stillspeaking.com/arts/music/110705.html</a> on some somewhat interesting site called <a href="http://www.stillspeaking.com/default.htm" target="new">"god is still speaking"</a> (http://www.stillspeaking.com/default.htm) put up by the "united church of christ," some group i don't know much 'bout. &nbsp; is it a good group? bad group? i dunno. &nbsp; (i can't tell if they're either a "seeker friendly" church or a cult. &nbsp; *shrug* i hope they're just a good grp.) &nbsp; i church that belongs to this denomination is <a href="http://www.fccb.org/" target="new">fccb</a> in berkeley. &nbsp; from the pic on their website, i recognise their bldg. &nbsp; it's that bldg that looks like a train station. &nbsp; i think they're a legitamate church, yes. &nbsp; neway... how do <i>i</i> as a christian feel 'bout lines like "he's stealing a god from the israelites, stealing a god from a muslim too"? &nbsp; well, i <i>do</i> agree that it's funny how ppl'f 1 religious grp can be so antogonistik 'gainst ppl'f 'nother relgious grp, when well... some'd think we'd get 'long <i>better</i> cos 'least we're not atheists! &nbsp; rt?! &nbsp; "there is only one god, through and through" is the next line in the song. &nbsp; well, if i were to say, 'aw, it doesn't matter what religion u choose, they're all the same,' most christians'd label me as <i>way</i> 2 liberal n' maybe think i'm some kind'f <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gnostic" target="new">gnostik</a> or sumpthin', n' i'm <i>not</i> a gnostik... nor am i an <i>ag</i>nostik. &nbsp; i did buy n' <i>started</i> reading anne lamott's <i>plan b: further thoughts on faith</i>. &nbsp; as much as i <i>hate</i> the term "liberal christian" cos it's so inaccurate, i guess most ppl'd call anne lamott a "liberal christian" cos she <i>does</i> go to a christian church n' does write 'bout the christian faith, but i think she sed she attends a church w/ a lesbian pastor n' she talks 'bout native amerikan religions, etc. &nbsp; am i kewl w/ that? &nbsp; well, personally, yah, i'm kewl w/ that. &nbsp; i <i>don't</i> c her book in berean, the christian bookstore; so i can only assume that many christians <i>rn't</i> kewl w/ that. &nbsp; oh well... &nbsp; neway, i have a religion. &nbsp; i believe in the christian bible. &nbsp; as u know, 1'f my best friends from college is an indian muslim. &nbsp; @ times, he's been more'f a muslim n' @ times, he's been really against his family's traditional faith. &nbsp; however, in the end, he cms to have decided to go w/ it. &nbsp; he still 'least goes thru the motions, n' i suspekt he really does believe in his family's religion. &nbsp; sure, as a christian, i wish he also believed in my christian bible, but... *shrug* in the end, should i hate his religion more than the absence'f religion or even satanism? &nbsp; should i hate atheism? &nbsp; i dunno; i s'ppose the answer i'd come to from my <font color="blue">berkeley</font>ism is that i don't need to hate ne belief system. &nbsp; ok... well, that, in a way 's an empty statement, cos i could easily plug in "dislike" 4 "hate," n' then i would no longer be "hatin'" but just <i>disliking</i>, n' there ain't nuthin wrong w/ disliking, rt? &nbsp; "playa hatahs" get a bad rap in hip hop songs, but u never hear much criticism'f "player dislikers," rt? <tt>:-p</tt> yah, u know? i feel like in recent decades christians r always being pitted 'gainst some media.created opponent. &nbsp; what's the opposite'f christianity? &nbsp; sometimes the media sez it's politi<font face="script" color="blue" size="+3">cal</font> liberalism. &nbsp; sometimes the media sez it's homo$exuality. &nbsp; sometimes the media sez it's commuism. &nbsp; sometimes, the media sez it's islam. &nbsp; sometimes, the media sez it's satanism. &nbsp; sometimes, the media sez it's atheism. &nbsp; sometimes, the media sez it's judaism. &nbsp; perhaps, growing up asian.am, the opposite'f christianity's <i>buddhism</i>. &nbsp; after all, <font face="comic sans ms" color="#008800"><b>"santa doesn't leave presents under the bodhi tree!"</b></font> (plz visit <a href="http://www.snpp.com/episodes/DABF02" target="new">http://www.snpp.com/episodes/DABF02</a> immediately if u don't know 'bout "she of little faith," <i>simpsons</i> episode dabf02!) &nbsp; when i was in hi skool, i went w/ the leland hi skool amnesty int'l student chapter to watch the <a href="http://www.oigc.org/" target="new">oakland interfaith gospel choir</a> sing. &nbsp; i <i>think</i> they sang @ de anza college's flint center, but i 4get. &nbsp; well, neway... i'll tell u this: in a way, i guess i feel a <i>li'l</i> more "akin" to "the israelite and a muslim too" cos <i>in a way</i> we worship <i>a</i> god. &nbsp; sumpthin' i say 'bout relgion is "u've gotta putchur chips <i>somewhere</i>." &nbsp; <b>"reach out and touch faith"</b><sup>*</sup>: &nbsp; it's been said that "it's called faith cos u <i>can't</i> c it w/ ur eyes." &nbsp; it takes faith to be a christian, a satanist, a muslim... n', if u ask me, it takes faith to be an <i>atheist</i>! &nbsp; how does the athesit <i>"know"</i> god doesn't exist? &nbsp; it takes <i>faith</i>... n' well, can i say 'lot is @ stake in that bet? &nbsp; there's a somewhat trite bumper sticker that reads, "if you're living like there's no god, you'd better be right." &nbsp; it's trite but true. &nbsp; i guess modern american christianity's obsession w/ finding an antichristianity lies in exposing <u>false prophets</u>. &nbsp; i'm sure many christians'd say that i spew false prophecy cos'f my <u>tolerance</u>, but i insist that i don't. &nbsp; @ some pt, yah, u' just have to put ur chips down somewhere n' <u>take a stand</u>. &nbsp; an ol' friend sam whom i haven't cn in almost a decade who was my intervarsity christian fellowship small group leader called himself a "fundamentalist" but not in the way the media uses the term. &nbsp; he sed was a "fundamentalist" cos he sticks <i>only</i> to the basic truths presented in the bible, not the politi<font face="script" color="blue" size="+3">cal</font> b.s. that the media or politicians have added.
<p><sup>*</sup> that's a line from depeche mode's "personal jesus."<br><br><br>