<center>2006.04.26</center> <a name="personaljesus"><h3>"personal jesus"</h3></a> <p>수요일 아침: 1 more day till the <a href="http://www2.depeche-mode.com/" target="new">depeche mode</a> concert. i wish i weren't so bizzy w/ werk n' that i had the time i had when i was a kid to get fully excited 'bout this. i mean, yah, i <i>am</i> excited, but man... back when i was a kid, i had time to get <i>really</i> excited, u know? *sigh* it makes u question why we ever grew up, eh? yesterday, the beautiful <a href="http://www.realestatesforcharity.com" target="new">kaela hwang</a> told me that she dropped her nice sony vaio laptop n' the monitor's got a prob. *sigh* i'm sure it'll ¢o$t like $500 or more to fix. it sucks that w/ so many things, u pay <i>sooo</i> much to get them fixed. i hate that! it's kapitalisme/consumerism @ its worst. companies just want u to keep buying new things n' never getting ur existing things fixed. it sucks! it's <i>unenvironmental</i>! it's frustrating that she keeps breaking n' losing things. it makes me think we should buy only the most rugged elektronics 4 her. then 'gain, there's a prob w/ elektronics 2day: there's not 'nuff mechani<font face="script" color="blue" size="+3">cal</font> engineering in them... so produkts <i>rn't</i> built rugged 'nuff n' they rn't serviceable 'nuff etc. sucks, sucks, $u¢k$. kaela lost her ipod mini back in washington, dc. she hadn't owned it 4 very long. <p>2nite, i hope to hit up the 730p turbo kick box (tkb) class @ the e. arques 24 hr fitness aktive. i <i>could</i> instead go to the 700p turbo kick box (tkb) class @ the fremont ave 24 hr fitness sport; but i doubt i'll get out'f werk in time 4 <i>that</i>. i dunno... i like the idea'f going to more fitness classes now that i'm @ 24 hr fitness. i think they'll help keep exercise fun. also, i think they'll help me werkout @ a good pace. 2 often, when i werkout on my own, i'm inefficient or lazy. i realised on mon nite @ 24 hr fitness, that over the past few months, while only werking out @ my werk.com gym, i'd been werking out amongst ppl who just rn't as fit as the ppl i was 'round @ 24 hr fitness. the atmosephere @ this club, from what i saw on mon nite, is a li'l interesting. like @ the capitol expwy bally that kaela n' i used to go to, it was a bit'f an asian or latino meat market, w/ lots'f ppl who looked like they were single ppl there just to meet/watch other single ppl. @ the hamilton ave bally, we saw more serious athletes n' fitness types. on mon nite, i saw sort'f a combination'f the 2: a lot'f fit single ppl who looked like they were just there to watch other fit single ppl. however, later in the nite, i saw more'f the out'f shape ppl come in. it's kind'f interesting. it's like there r shifts. <i>earlier</i> in the evening, many'f those folks looked like the young single ppl i c @ <font color="#ff9900"><a href="http://www.grx.org" target="new">grx</a></font>. kaela n' i saw 1 guy who was aktually <i>wearing</i> a <font color="#ff9900"><a href="http://www.grx.org" target="new">grx</a></font> t.shirt, but i was very sure many, many more'f those young, asian ppl were <font color="#ff9900"><a href="http://www.grx.org" target="new">grx</a></font> regulars. i know that, in a good <i>n'</i> not as good way, <font color="#ff9900"><a href="http://www.grx.org" target="new">grx</a></font> has a rep as being a place 4 young, single asians. however, i hope the fakt that i'm leading a couples small grp sort'f balances that out, u know? <p>[later] argh, my 'puter froze, so i restartd it (hard reset) n' lost a bit'f text here. neway... it wasn't much. <p>last nite, i went w/ sooni to taekwondo praktice, but kaela didn't come. lemme emphasize 'gain that mark n' i r teaching a adult beginners class, starting in june! plz come n/or tell ur friends to come. it's s'pposed to be $200 4 10 wks, including 도복 dobok (uniform). <ul><u>10.day santa clara weather 4cast</u> (from weather.com) <li>오늘 (수요일), 04월 26일: 52~68°f</li> <li>내일 (목요일), 04월 27일: 54~76°f</li> <li>모레 (금요일), 04월 28일: 57~76°f</li> <li>토요일, 04월 29일: 57~76°f</li> <li>일요일, 04월 30일: 58~79°f</li> <li>월요일, 05월 01일: 60~81°f</li> <li>화요일, 05월 02일: 57~79°f</li> <li>수요일, 05월 03일: 54~73°f</li> <li>목요일, 05월 04일: 53~70°f</li> <li>금요일, 05월 05일: 52~68°f</li></ul> so it looks like the weather's gonna be relatively <u>pleasant</u> 4 the next several days, eh? wow, we're having qutie <i>mild</i> weawther. this morn, when i took sooni out 4 her morn walk, it was a bit chilly; n' i had to bundle up. however, wow... it's quite <i>mild</i>. this wknd should be quite nice. i have lunch potlucks on both sat n' sun! crazy, eh? it'll be nice weather 4 the potlucks. wow, if it <i>really</i> hits 80&deng;f on next mon, it'll be a change'f pace, eh? i wouldn't mind a mild summer this yr. the summer'f 2003 was really hot. last summer? i think last summer was rather mild. how was the summer'f 2004? <tt>:-?</tt> i 4get... i <i>think</i> 'twas still warm but cooler than the summer'f 2003. <p>kaela n' i've been watching the mbc drama <i>내사랑 팥쥐 (nae sarang patzzi)</i> (my love patzzi) (starring 장나라jang nara) on dvd, thanks to roland. it's a bit'f an older miniseries but of course still fun. it reminds me'f the kbs miniseries <i>loving you</i> (starring 김유진 kim yoojin [eugene kim]'f s.e.s.). "유치하게 yoochihagei" = "childish, juvenile." <p>[later] <b>man's best friend</b>: u know, i wish i could express to u in wurds the joys'f dog ownership. i'm happy when i come home n' sooni's so happy to c me. i think almost all dog owners experience this. dogs r very social animals, as they say. sooni's a great dog. <p>[later] 오후: its depeche mode wk here @ <i>the beno journal</i>. here r some lyrics to commemorate 2morrow's concert: <p><font face="garamond, times new roman" color="black"> "precious" by depeche mode <p>precious and fragile things<br> need special handling<br> my god what have we done to you? <p>we always try to share<br> the tenderest of care<br> now look what we have put you through <p>things get damaged<br> things get broken<br> i thought we'd manage<br> but words left unspoken<br> left us so brittle<br> there was so little left to give <p>angels with silver wings<br> shouldn't know suffering<br> i wish i could take the pain for you <p>if god has a master plan<br> that only he understands<br> i hope it's your eyes he's seeing through <p>things get damaged<br> things get broken<br> i thought we'd manage<br> but words left unspoken<br> left us so brittle<br> there was so little left to give <p>i pray you learn to trust<br> have faith in both of us<br> and keep room in your hearts for two <p>things get damaged<br> things get broken<br> i thought we'd manage<br> but words left unspoken<br> left us so brittle<br> there was so little left to give</font> <p>during my lunchbrk, i went to a spin class @ the nearby 24 hr fitness. it's really close to my office. it felt great. afterwards, i picked up a 6" coldcut sandwich meal to go from the nearby <font color="#770000">ko</font><font color="#000099">rean</font> subway, where julie used to werk. [later] in that same area is the haircutting place that took off all my hair. i do badly need 'nother haircut asap. i need to set a deadline, when if i don't get a haircut from kaela by that date, i'll just pay 4 1. <p>[later] <b>beno the revelator</b>: the depeche mode track "john the revelator" from their most recent <i>playing the angel</i> album criticises the modern day christian church. check out this mildly interesting online article: <a href="http://www.stillspeaking.com/arts/music/110705.html" target="new">http://www.stillspeaking.com/arts/music/110705.html</a> on some somewhat interesting site called <a href="http://www.stillspeaking.com/default.htm" target="new">"god is still speaking"</a> (http://www.stillspeaking.com/default.htm) put up by the "united church of christ," some group i don't know much 'bout. is it a good group? bad group? i dunno. (i can't tell if they're either a "seeker friendly" church or a cult. *shrug* i hope they're just a good grp.) i church that belongs to this denomination is <a href="http://www.fccb.org/" target="new">fccb</a> in berkeley. from the pic on their website, i recognise their bldg. it's that bldg that looks like a train station. i think they're a legitamate church, yes. neway... how do <i>i</i> as a christian feel 'bout lines like "he's stealing a god from the israelites, stealing a god from a muslim too"? well, i <i>do</i> agree that it's funny how ppl'f 1 religious grp can be so antogonistik 'gainst ppl'f 'nother relgious grp, when well... some'd think we'd get 'long <i>better</i> cos 'least we're not atheists! rt?! "there is only one god, through and through" is the next line in the song. well, if i were to say, 'aw, it doesn't matter what religion u choose, they're all the same,' most christians'd label me as <i>way</i> 2 liberal n' maybe think i'm some kind'f <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gnostic" target="new">gnostik</a> or sumpthin', n' i'm <i>not</i> a gnostik... nor am i an <i>ag</i>nostik. i did buy n' <i>started</i> reading anne lamott's <i>plan b: further thoughts on faith</i>. as much as i <i>hate</i> the term "liberal christian" cos it's so inaccurate, i guess most ppl'd call anne lamott a "liberal christian" cos she <i>does</i> go to a christian church n' does write 'bout the christian faith, but i think she sed she attends a church w/ a lesbian pastor n' she talks 'bout native amerikan religions, etc. am i kewl w/ that? well, personally, yah, i'm kewl w/ that. i <i>don't</i> c her book in berean, the christian bookstore; so i can only assume that many christians <i>rn't</i> kewl w/ that. oh well... neway, i have a religion. i believe in the christian bible. as u know, 1'f my best friends from college is an indian muslim. @ times, he's been more'f a muslim n' @ times, he's been really against his family's traditional faith. however, in the end, he cms to have decided to go w/ it. he still 'least goes thru the motions, n' i suspekt he really does believe in his family's religion. sure, as a christian, i wish he also believed in my christian bible, but... *shrug* in the end, should i hate his religion more than the absence'f religion or even satanism? should i hate atheism? i dunno; i s'ppose the answer i'd come to from my <font color="blue">berkeley</font>ism is that i don't need to hate ne belief system. ok... well, that, in a way 's an empty statement, cos i could easily plug in "dislike" 4 "hate," n' then i would no longer be "hatin'" but just <i>disliking</i>, n' there ain't nuthin wrong w/ disliking, rt? "playa hatahs" get a bad rap in hip hop songs, but u never hear much criticism'f "player dislikers," rt? <tt>:-p</tt> yah, u know? i feel like in recent decades christians r always being pitted 'gainst some media.created opponent. what's the opposite'f christianity? sometimes the media sez it's politi<font face="script" color="blue" size="+3">cal</font> liberalism. sometimes the media sez it's homo$exuality. sometimes the media sez it's commuism. sometimes, the media sez it's islam. sometimes, the media sez it's satanism. sometimes, the media sez it's atheism. sometimes, the media sez it's judaism. perhaps, growing up asian.am, the opposite'f christianity's <i>buddhism</i>. after all, <font face="comic sans ms" color="#008800"><b>"santa doesn't leave presents under the bodhi tree!"</b></font> (plz visit <a href="http://www.snpp.com/episodes/DABF02" target="new">http://www.snpp.com/episodes/DABF02</a> immediately if u don't know 'bout "she of little faith," <i>simpsons</i> episode dabf02!) when i was in hi skool, i went w/ the leland hi skool amnesty int'l student chapter to watch the <a href="http://www.oigc.org/" target="new">oakland interfaith gospel choir</a> sing. i <i>think</i> they sang @ de anza college's flint center, but i 4get. well, neway... i'll tell u this: in a way, i guess i feel a <i>li'l</i> more "akin" to "the israelite and a muslim too" cos <i>in a way</i> we worship <i>a</i> god. sumpthin' i say 'bout relgion is "u've gotta putchur chips <i>somewhere</i>." <b>"reach out and touch faith"</b><sup>*</sup>: it's been said that "it's called faith cos u <i>can't</i> c it w/ ur eyes." it takes faith to be a christian, a satanist, a muslim... n', if u ask me, it takes faith to be an <i>atheist</i>! how does the athesit <i>"know"</i> god doesn't exist? it takes <i>faith</i>... n' well, can i say 'lot is @ stake in that bet? there's a somewhat trite bumper sticker that reads, "if you're living like there's no god, you'd better be right." it's trite but true. i guess modern american christianity's obsession w/ finding an antichristianity lies in exposing <u>false prophets</u>. i'm sure many christians'd say that i spew false prophecy cos'f my <u>tolerance</u>, but i insist that i don't. @ some pt, yah, u' just have to put ur chips down somewhere n' <u>take a stand</u>. an ol' friend sam whom i haven't cn in almost a decade who was my intervarsity christian fellowship small group leader called himself a "fundamentalist" but not in the way the media uses the term. he sed was a "fundamentalist" cos he sticks <i>only</i> to the basic truths presented in the bible, not the politi<font face="script" color="blue" size="+3">cal</font> b.s. that the media or politicians have added. <p><sup>*</sup> that's a line from depeche mode's "personal jesus."<br><br><br>