well, when i got home last nite, my back was really sore.   my back n' shoulder.   afeter we dropped off our junk, i took kaela to yeitnal jjajang.   we had jjajangmyuhn n' then went shopping @ pusan plaza.   ugh, my back started really bothering me.   well, so far 2day, we've been very lazy.   i gotta werk on my ebmud application.   kaela cooked some mandoo 4 lunch.   i got my sharper image step n' flex exercise machine, the 1 we got 4 free cos'f our credit card ca$hback bonus thingy. kewl!   it's pretty neat.   it's not as nice as using the precor in the rsf, but it's kewl. well, dang! it's time to get stuff done!   i don't wanna be so lazy n' lethargic!

257p: here's a coupl'f old pix i'll share w/ u now:

kaela n' beno @ the santa cruz beach boardwalk beach on the 4th of july, 2001.

kaela w/ her build.a.bear panda

1224a: what a day! man, the beautiful kaela kang n' i both stayed @ home, indoors all day! :-O all day, n' all nite! crazy!   what a lazy day! :-/ we sed we'd go out 4 boba , but we never did!   how much lazier can we get?!   i had my sore back, neck, n' shoulder.   it was a warm day!   in the evening, 'round 600p, kaela made some pasta w/ turkey sausage n' shrooms.   it was good. :-) uhm, we watched tv. :-/ heh... u don't need me to sum up the simpsons episodes, the everybody loves raymond episodes, or the enterprise episode, do u?   we also watched on vcd, on kaela's 'puter, the korean movie "misoolgwan yuhp dongmoolwuhn" (art museum by the zoo).   it was a clever, witty, cute movie.   we started watching it some nite last winter, but kaela fell asleep that nite.   this time we restarted from the beginning n' enjoyed it till the end. :-)   yah, it's just a cute, li'l romantic comedy, u know?

so... that ny times article that quotes me came out 2day! :-) u should check it out! either spend the ca$h n' buy the paper or go to: "surfing from an all-spam station to an asian faces game" by pamela licalzi o'connell on the ny times website. (u'll need to have or open a free account to read their articles.)   u guys know 'bout alllooksame.com, right?   i'm sure i've mentioned it here b4.   neway, read the article n' learn 'bout it, i guess.   i s'ppose, 'least out of egotism, i'll hafta go buy a copy of the newspaper 2day! :-D ha ha.

well, besides going in to werk 2day, i gotta 'member to buy that paper n' try to go to eshelman to pick up a reimbursement check 4 boards i bought 4 the ksa demo 2 weeks 'go.   things to do, things to do...   well, what's gonna happen?   kaela n' i'll hafta go to san jo sometime soon.   it looks like i'm skipping werk on fri to go meet w/ a rep 4 our ceremony location.   i guess that's the plan.   spring break, u know? i gotta take some time off now cos we can't cm to get ppl's skedules to fit right otherwise. *breathe* man, i even think i need to spend less time @ werk 2morrow! :-/   there r many things i gotta do right now! :-/ [later] 141a: i shouldn't be awake... or should i? :-/ nah, i should go to sleep... then 'gain, i have things to do! :-(   lemme tell u! if u ever c a sale on spam lite, notify me immediately!   also, if u c a sale on canned anchovies, please let me know.

[later] 627p: i'm sitting in my cubicle, listining to my soundsgood module. :-) i've had a quite a day. phew! i went to werk in the morn, did some physical labou, took some time off in the afternoon, went to berkeley, had lunch w/ kaela @ cancun tacqueria, bought my copy of the ny times from the candy store on center (sweet booth?), went to eshleman (which to my surprise is spelled like that, not "eshelman" *shrug*), got $40 in ca$h as my reimbursement from ksa 4 the boards we broke @ the korean culture show, dropped kaela off @ the oxford starbucks, n' went back to werk w/ just a li'l bit of gas in my tank.   i gotta 'member to fill up on gas right now b4 going back to berkeley.   it felt kind'f weird going to eshleman cos i'm actually no longer a student n' haven't been 1 4 a long time.   hrm... :-/ r u sure it's spelled eshleman?!?! that just looks so weird! i really thought it was eshelman! >:-/ well, i had to show my cal student i.d. to get into the bldg. then i showed my cal student i.d. 'gain to get my ca$h from the person werking there.   she sed that i must be the only student on campus right now.   i didn't say much in reply, but i guess i could've sed, "oh, i went on vacation n' came back already."   oh well.   neway, according to the ny times article i'm still a college student! >|-D ha ha ha! that's fine.   even tho' i graduated college in 1998, i'm still a student of other things, right?   i've gotta 'least be a student of life, right? *roll eyes* that's sounds lame? well, everyday i learn sumpthin' new, right? like how to spell "eshleman."   *sigh* i think my eyes must've deceived me 2day! "eshleman"?! lemme check online; hold on. whoa! :-o it is spelled "eshleman"!   spelled or spelt? *shrug*

hrm, there was sumpthin' else i wanted to look up on the web! i 4get. :-/ hrm...   *sigh* don'tchu hate when that happens?   as soon as i leave the office, i won't be able to look it up. a ha! but i will! ...w/ my gomadic internet cable connecting my handspring n' startac, i can! heh heh... *sigh* i know; i just don't shut up 'bout that thing, do i?!   well, i'm s'pposed to have dinner w/ ed park 2nite.   i talked to toby this afternoon while i was assembling a cubicle @ my office.   toby sez we'll meet up w/ him.   actually, ed called me this morn while i was disassembling a cubicle.   i answered w/o looking @ the caller i.d. n' mistook his voice 4 owen's. upes.   ed doesn't know yet that i'm engaged n' has yet to meet kaela. :-) he should meet her 2nite! :-) it's been so long since i hung out w/ ed.   so much has happened in life since then. *sigh* crazy, huh?

ugh, i'm still crazily full from lunch! :-(   can i eat dinner? :-/ i dunno, man!   *sigh* this spring break sure has involved lots'f eating!   i wonder whom else i'll c 2nite, what other blasts from the past: surely, stephan garcia, whom i saw a few months 'go @ longs drugs; perhaps vince? stephan pak? jon aytac? *shrug* :-/ i doubt we'll c eric chang. who knows what happened to him after he left to cornell 4 law skool... wait! didn't i c him @ christmastime in 2000? yah, i did... in front of thai noodles w/ ed park! ha ha ha.   however that was 2 much of a brief, chance mtg, u know? that's not right.   i've gotta c these guys 'gain asap!   well, i gotta c ed 2nite!

*sigh* what to do? i have so much junk to do! :-( what was that that i was gonna look up on the web?! i 4get. *sigh*   well, i got to c plenty of dusty the giant golden retriever 2day! :-) i like dusty! :-)

425p: well, i stayed up very late last nite werking on my ebmud application.   yesterday evening, i came home from werk, picked up the beautiful kaela kang's reimbursement request form 4 some stuff she bought 4 the uc open.   then i drove to the rsf, gave her the form.   she ran in, submitted it.   then i drove her n' picked up toby from home.   we all went back to kaela's n' my place.   kaela n' i quickly changed a li'l, n' then we went to solano ave. zachary's to meet up w/ ed park n' stephan garcia.   later, hyung kim showed up.   we had 1 good health pizza n' 1 zachary's special.   i thought it'd be 2 much pizza, but stephan eats suprisingly much.   it was fun.   well, we loitered @ the restaurant a long time, but eventually, i knew i'd hafta go home n' do my ebmud application.   i drove toby home, n' kaela n' i went home.   kaela stayed up late doing some skoolwerk, n' i stayed up doing the application.   we stayed up till like 400a.

this morn, we woke up late 'round 1030a.   *sigh* originally, i thought we'd go down to san jo n' 'least spend the nite, but those plans got seriously botched. :-( well, we had to go to our wedding site apptmnt @ noon, so i drove us straight there, figuring i'd hafta drop off my completed ebmud application on the way back, in the afternoon.   well, we had our mtg, n' pretty much told the person in charge to write us up a contract to rent the place. :-)   it is a beautiful place.   we looked @ lots'f sample fotography.   some of it was very unimpressive, just looked like snapshots an uncle could take.   however, as expected, some of the stuff was beautiful, looked like it really captured fine moments, u know? really, captured the mood. :-) ah, that's the stuff w/ need! :-) well, after we left the wedding site, i started driving back, but i brought us to yiasoo on de anza blvd 4 lunch.   i had a gyros (pronounced "yee rohs") plate, n' kaela had a moussaka plate.   yiasoo has the best greek fud 'round here!   i haven't found better gyros or better greek pitas newhere 'round here!   ah, it's so good!   after lunch, i drove us back via 101 n' 92 to the east bay.   then i dropped off my ebmud application.   then we got boba @ the durant sweetheart café.   now we're home. *sigh* that's that.   it's a beautiful, beautiful, warm fri afternoon.   we shouldn't be indoors cos it's a pitiful shame, but we r.   i feel like if we're not in san jo, we ought to be in tahoe... :-/ neway, i shouldn't even mention that cos i know so many ppl think i spend way 2 much time in tahoe. :-/

832p: i feel like i haven't updated in ages!   *sigh* i'm such a journal addict, eh? :-(   well, what did i last tell u?   oh yah, the ebmud app, etc.   well, last nite, roland, the beautiful kaela kang, n' i went to dinner @ unicorn, a asian.fusion restaurant on telegraph ave., out by where i used to live, in that miserable apt.   (well, after hanging out w/ ed park, toby, hyung, n' stephan, i 'membered that it wasn't always a miserable apt.   we had some very fun times in that place.)   it's a really nice restaurant.   oh man! i was so glad to find a a restaurant that recently opened that isn't a piece of junk chophouse or comfort fud joint! grr! i'm so sick of hearing of those places!   well, unicorn really revitalised my interest in trying out new restaurants!   finally, there r new restaurants worth trying!   heh, of course la rue is new, n' i liked it.   i still very much want to try grasshopper, the asian.fusion tapas restaurant on college ave. by party safeway, also close to where i used to live.   i wanna try dragonfly which opened on telly, very close to unicorn, in the ol' bison brewery location.   it's also a asian.fusion joint, i think.   i don't think it's related to the ol' george chen asian.fusion/chinese joint in corte madera.   *sigh* such a shame that place closed down. :-(   neway, unicorn! it was good! the 3 of us ordered the "sweet combo."   ooh, i really liked it.   however, i gotta admit, it was maybe a li'l 2 sweet 4 me all @ 1nce, n' actually, it should actually be called the "tangy combo," as the 3 of us agreed since the dishes were mostly more "tangy" than "sweet."   i definitely liked the fud, but i think next time i'd rather combine some of these tangy dishes w/ some straight out savoury (salty) dishes.   we had these chou zhou shrimp rolls 1st.   then we had a chicken salad.   then we had this hot n' sour shrimp soup.   then we had this red snapper, fried fillets in a tangy sauce w/ some green n' red peppers n' other veggies.   we had flan 4 dessert.   unicorn is very reasonably priced n' the servers r very friendly n' polite!   i'd say, they employees n' managers cm to be very young n' maybe not all that "seasoned," but dang! i'd say they're making a very good effort to make it in the market, n' i encourage ppl to patronise them. :-)

well, after unicorn, we went to watch ice age @ amc 1000 van ness.   i ran into an ol' friend there, jeff tsai.   it's been very nice talking to old friends.   honestly, sometimes i'm a bit shy talking to ppl i haven't talked to in a long time.   i dunno.   it's not that i'm @ all an existentialist, but i feel like i'm repeating myself when i tell each ol' buddy what i've been doing 4 the past coupl'f yrs. :-/ that's the thing 'bout me, sumpthin' u'd know 'bout me if u really know me: i don't like to repeat myself 2 much.   i try not to tell a joke a 2nd time, even if it's to a diff audience.   *sigh* i bet there r stories my close friends think i "always" tell... :-/ well, i'm sure there r, but i'm very self.conscious 'bout that whole thing, so i try to minimise that.   i try, but eh! who knows, maybe i just don't shut up 'bout that gomadic internet cable n' my handspring etc. ha ha ha! >;-D *sigh* well, this way of thinking of mine, how i think i try not to repeat myself 2 much is somehow related to how i don't like it 2 much 4 ppl to c me rehearse...   like, i want to be a "performer."   i like to present my "masterpiece," but i don't want ppl to hear my practice it.   u dig?   *sigh* oh well...   i dunno tho'... maybe me w/ my on.line journal really contradicts all this.   in a way a journal is a big rehearsal or sumpthin'.   like, it cms to be some sort of practice 2wards writing some greater piece of prose.   isn't that why real writers keep journals? :-/

neway, back to ice age! it was a really fun movie!   sure, as roland sed, the characters r all sort'f ugly in a way.   yah, they're all sort'f de4med or sumpthin'.   however, i think they're all still somehow cute. :-/ well, hrm... maybe not so much the saber.tooth tigers... but that sloth... he's definitely majorly de4med, but somehow he's sort'f a cute critter.   ha ha, why is it that cartoons, even nondisney cartoons have such an abundance of gay scenes???   i know that disney has many gay artists, gay staff that werk on their cartoons; n' they like to slip in many gay references, etc.   however, yah... i was surprised that ice age right away has a gay scene. *shrug* u know, i guess it's just really good in whatever way to teach kids to be tolerant of alternative lifestyles.

[a li'l later, after reading joon's journal entry 4 2day] well, this morn, i woke up early in the morn n' couldn't go back to sleep.   i just lay there in bed, 0.5 awake yet 0.5 asleep.   then finally, i made a decision to go to the sat morn family taekwondo class.   earlier i pondered calling up toby to tell him i'd go, but i procrastinated.   i tried to tell myself that my throat n' back were 2 sore to go to practice.   however, when kaela woke up to an alarm n' sed she had to take a shower, i figured i'd better go to practice so that i could use the rsf shower n' get hot water. heh heh, crazy, huh?   my decision to go to practice was finalised by the need to use the rsf showers! ha ha.   well, it was 2 late to call toby.   it was 'specially 2 late to give him a ride.   i just hopped into my car n' rushed off to the rsf.   since it's spring break n' the campus wasn't hosting ne big event 2day, i found so much street parking.   however, the meter i parked @ wasn't broken, unlike so many berkeley parking meters.   i had to pay it. :-(   i thought i'd be barely on time to practice, but i got there n' found a bunch'f colour belts waiting outside cos the martial arts room wasn't unlocked.   i asked helen if there was no instructor there, but she sed that master royce was here but in the bathroom.   i went to the front desk n' asked them to unlock our door.   practice was fun.   dave commins, perry, n' darwin also came.   i guess lots'f "old timers" n' kids, not so many college students cos'f spring break n' not so many of the usual colour belts.   after warm up, perry n' dave gave me lots'f pointers on my poomsae.   they n' mike sia were my judges @ the uc open.   i knew i could've done better.   i did practice my poomsae; i didn't go in there cold.   still, i know i rushed my poomsae, n' these upper dan told me that just didn't show energy n' power.   yah, u know... i did practice, n' i did get some pointers from peers b4 the tournament, but i wish i had had the chance to ask more of my seniors 4 help b4 the tournament. :-(   *sigh* well, u know... it's always bizzy bizzy 4 me in the taekwondo club.   well, after showering, perry n' dave asked me to go to lunch w/ them, n' i told them i'd call kaela.   i prob'ly sounded very tentative 'bout it, n' i wonder if they thought i wouldn't go, but we actually went, n' it was very fun!   we went to raleigh's.   dave n' perry n' their kids, darwin, n' then us.   we had some very good conversation / discussions.   *sigh* i'm so glad we got to talk 'bout the current ucmap taekwondo club sociopolitical mess, very glad!   i'm trying my darn best to be as diplomatic as possible 'bout this whole thing.   u know i don't like having enemies.   of course, i'd prefer to have friends.   i really care 'bout ucmap.   whether i'm right or wrong 'bout ne issue, i just want what's best, in the end, 4 ucmap!   well, @ the lunch, i had a grilled eggplant sandwich w/ some onion rings n' a golden bear lager.   it was all very good... perhaps not the healthiest lunch since the sadnwich had plenty of mozzarella n' the onion rings had plenty of grease; however it was a very pleasing meal!   kaela had a mandarin chicken salad, but it was way 2 much 4 her to finish.   dave commins was so nice n' paid 4 it all. man, what a nice guy!   neway, after lunch, kaela n' i came home, n' i pretty much fell asleep... a sort'f fud coma, i guess. :-/

well, my mom told us she'd come visit us.   *sigh* sure, we were freaked 'bout how our apt was such a mess, but i just didn't get 'round to doing all that much cleaning.   i did the dishes n' cleaned the stove, but then i got caught up w/ werkin' out on the step n' flex! huh?! yah, i dunno why... i just got on the step n' flex, n' did my stairmasteresque werkout n' just got caught up in that n' committed myself to a 20 min werkout.   it got so hot in my apt, n' i got all sweatty. :-( [1006p, after a break from writing] so i was exercising instead of cleaning.   then my mom showed up n' saw our mess.   we sat 'round talking 'bout the wedding.   then my mom took us to 168 4 dinner.   we also bought some buns from shengkee 1st.   it was so warm when we left 4 168, but it was so foggy when we went back to the car in the parking lot.   the richmond hillside w/ all the condos looked like it was in sf by ocean beach or sumpthin'! it was kind'f kewl... actually, it was pretty cold! ha ha ha. ssuhlluhng hae.   well, ever since we got back from dinner, kaela n' i have just been talkin' 'bout the wedding.

206p: it looks like a warm day outside in berkeley; but as i was just telling phil in an e.mail, don't many days in berkeley look warmer than they really r?   eh, it's really not 2 bad in our apt, quite warm.   that's the thing w/ having a top floor apt.   b4 this place, i never lived on the top floor, i guess... 'cept @ "home home," sort'f, where my bedroom's on the 2nd floor of a 2 story house.   b4 moving here, i wasn't thinking that a top floor apt'd get so warm on sunny days.   eh! it's ok.   it's warm.   me, i'm just wearing my black, drawstring pants n' a grey "muscle" t, i guess u could call it.   it's kind'f a tank top, but it has a higher collar than a wifebeater, u know? yah, yah, yah, i'm sure u get the picture.   i'm sitting @ my 'puter.   the beautiful kaela kang put me in charge of bidding on a wedding item @ ebay, while she naps on our loveseat, (which folds out into a bed when necessary, the 1 we bought @ ikea last yr).   the apt, it's still pretty messy. :-(   i tried to clean out the fridge 2day, throwing out some old, yucky leftovers. bleh! :-p yech!   kaela stayed up very late last nite, until like 400a, i guess.   she came to bed, n' she sed i pushed her.   yah, i do member that.   she got into bed right @ the climax of a bad, bad dream i was having.   i dreamt that some police officer was harrassing my mom, saying she didn't speak english well.   so in my dream, i was getting into a very heated argument... well, i dunno if u can even call it that.   i told the cop that he was being immature, n' then he mocked me 4 saying pronouncing it "im.ma.chyur," as opposed to "im.ma.toor."   u know how some ppl pronounce it? w/ a hard "t," stead of chanigng the "t" into a "ch" sound? so the cop was like mocking me 4 my pronunciation, so i sed, "fine! immatoor!"   in my dream, the cop was really in my face, really close.   then right @ that time, kaela got into bed, so i guess i pushed her.   :-/ man, that's the prob w/ me n' some of my friends, according to dream stories we all have.   like, many of us taekwondoists kick n' stuff in our sleep.   raymond sez he's never kicked in his sleep, but i know i have.   many others of my taekwondo friends say they have 2.   geez, i'm glad i didn't straight out punch or sumpthin' in my sleep cos, in my dream, the situation was 'bout to turn into a brawl. :-/ neway! *sigh* nice weather, eh? :-)

well, last nite after 168ing w/ my mom, kaela n' i just sat @ home cos i guess kaela was doing skoolwerk.   of course, we also spent lots'f time talkin' bout wedding stuff etc.   i felt kind'f bad tho' 'bout spending a sat nite @ home, 'specially after spending most of a sunny sat afternoon asleep on our bed. :-(   am i just wasting my life 'way?! a beautiful sun afternoon outside, what could i be doing instead?   well, i'm indoors, @ home right now.   yah, i do have an assignment. [later] woohoo! we won that item! phew, i got the bid in w/ 43 secs to spare! phew! wow, what a rush, eh? ha ha ha. *sigh* well, what a sunny, sunshiney, day, eh?   it's 229p. dangit, we gotta 'least go to longs drugs 4 me to drop off that disposable camera n' buy a sun paper w/ all those fabulous manufacturers' coupons! :-D woohoo! *sigh* i really need to clean up my car, get a car wash n' fill up on gas... i really do.   how's life?   how's my life? *shrug* is this a good life?   it's sort'f relaxing, i s'ppose.   shouldn't i be outside tho'?   hrm, am i making the most of my youth?   i'm still in my youth?! sez who?! *shrug* it feels somewhat nice tho' to be alive on a warm, sunny day, in a warm apt, w/ an absolutely beautiful fiancé. :-) it's a somewhat relaxing life that sort'f just makes me very content to be where i am, the age i am, in my situation, u know?   i just feel very com4table.   i feel i have a decent place to live, a beautiful woman, nice things 'round me.   it all makes me happy, yah.   *sigh* 'course, we could be running 'bout on a sunny beach in 0.5 moon bay, a sunny beach that'd look so much warmer than it'd actually'd be.   however, it would have all sorts'f doggies running 'bout, u know?   n' we could buy soft serve @ the mcyukyuk's. :-/ n' we could drive thru sf on the way back n' eat oysters @ swan's oyster depot, since johnny chang's talkin' 'bout that place in his most recent journal entry.   yah, i've always heard of that place, but we've yet to go there.   well, a beautiful day like this could also be spent in sunny pt reyes, where it'd also look so much warmer than it'd actually be.   these places have so much sunshine, but the ocean breeze in these places is just so chilly.   ah, but they r such beautiful places.   what 'bout monterey n' carmel? ah, beautiful places, yah...   hrm, maybe this is just such a yuppie life.   *shrug* am i preyuppie? am i yuppie? really, there r much older, much richer folk that call themselves yuppies.   if nething i'm either preyuppie or just a very young yuppie, u know? uhm, if i move out of berkeley into a suburb, can i not be called a yuppie since i wouldn't be living in an urban setting but rather a suburban setting?   then i'd be a ysuppie?   how'dju pronounce that? i'd say "yuh seup pee," but then the language police'd come n' try to beat my @$$ n' i'd have to go all taekwoncrazy on them mutha#!!@ers! :-D

:-o !!! the 2nd orchid flower just fell off of our orchid plant!!! we bought that orchid @ pusan plaza a long while 'go, 'member?   (please refer to "wangmandoo" on 2002.02.28, on raymond's b.day, which we celebrated the day after.]   yesterday, cos of the heat n' lack of ventilation in our apt, the 1st of 2 flowers fell off.   just now the 2nd of 2 just fell off. :-( nuts!   so when will new flowers grow out of this plant? :-( i dunno 'bout these things!   please tell me. :-/ hey, how come ppl haven't signed my gbook in a while!   i'm pondering changing the questions 'gain 4 all u. :-/ should i? well, maybe; we'll c.   how r ppl?   i know i don't write as much personal e.mail as i did in the ol' days... *sigh* however, i do write journal entries.   i'd like to keep in touch w/ ppl, yes.   *sigh* well, i guess if i stay cooped up in the apt on warm, sunny days, it's harder to keep in touch w/ friends than if i go out, huh?   nuts.   ebay: well, i'm glad i haven't been wasting ne $$$ there lately.   after winning kaela's purchase, i browsed a li'l w/ no intentions of buying nething.   however, since it's a weekend, it'd be a good time to win sumpthin', eh?   it's ok.   i'm minimising my consumption these days, right? consumption, that's tuberculosis, right?   gone r the days of spending weekends in malls looking @ all sorts of great fashion.   nope nope nope.   no consumption.   as far as those kinds'f things, there have been much better days, n' hopefully someday we'll have nice days like those.   i need a stamp to mail off our rent.   i think i have a stamp in my shoulder bag.   hold on.   please let me go check.   man, i don't have a stamp!   i'm gonna hafta go out n' buy stamps somehow.   keep in mind, 2day's sun, the post office ain't open. :-/ hrm, what to do? *sigh* 2morrow, i'll hafta go to werk.   in the evening, we'll have taekwondo demo team practice.   it'll be "life as normal," right?   who knows, maybe i can even go get a boba drink from sweetheart café w/ raymond after practice, right?   ah, that'd be dope! :-) (as always, i only say that in imitation of toby's imitation; i don't say "that'd be dope" much in real life.)   ah, what a beautiful day!!! man, it just feels so great to be alive!   i love life!   life is beautiful!   it's such a sunny, beautiful day.   from my station here behind the flat panel 'puter screen, i can c so many beautiful cali4nian trees w/ a bluesky background!   the 'puter is pumpin' out a lee junghyun tekno tune thru my stereo speakers.   i can c cars pass by on our street.   yah, our street is somewhat bizzy, i guess.   in some ways that's sort'f a negative 'bout where we live, but hearing the cars driving by 2day is sort'f an audiotherapy, like white noise.   since we live on the top floor, we get to hear rain fall on our roof n' skylite window.   ah, that's 1 great 'bout skylite windows besides how they provide light on sunny days. ah... life is good. :-)   i miss moonhee's illustrated diary. :-( neway, life is good.   life is beautiful! :-)

[much later] 1121p: so in the late midafternoon i went out to longs drugs.   there, i dropped off the disposable camera 4 developing n' bought a neutrogena skincare produkt, 2 toothbrushes, a generic disposable camera, n' a sunday sf chronicle.   then i drove to touchless carwash, where i filled up on gas n' got their ultrawash.   they did a decent job there.   i came home, dropped the newspaper off w/ kaela, n' went back down to the carport to armor.all my car's trimming n' spray some tire spray stuff on the tires.   i thought the touchless ppl were s'pposed to make my tires shiny! >:-/ oh well... i guess, when it comes to carwashes, even tho' these touchless places do a better job than those brushful places, the best job is the 1 u do @ home... but i just don't have the space n' equipment to do that here in the apt.   well, while i was preening my car, a neighbour came up to me n' told me to be careful w/ my car cos her wheels go stolen a while 'go! :-O wow! ok, i guess i will.   i was beginning to think my neighbourhood was decently safe n' that my car alarm might be more of a nuisance than a help, but now i won't think in that direction nemore! wow.   well, after cleaning up my car, i guess i came back upstairs, pretty ready to eat dinner soon.   kaela warmed up some leftovers: the 168 leftover string beans n' tripe n' some leftover fried rice from last week.   she also cut up some kimchi we bought from pusan plaza last week.   since we don't have many beverages, we shared a 22oz sapporo reserve biiru.   we watched some more of the simpsons marathon that we watched earlier 2day.   c, roland tivoed the marathon n' lent us a vhs copy.   i found out the sf chronicle i bought 2day didn't have ne manufacturers' coupons n' lacked many of the other usual ads! >:-( that's stoopid! i thought the newspaper looked 2 thin. *sigh* nuts.   well, we watched lots'f simpsons 2day.   i watched the premier of greg the bunny. man, i watched 2 much tv 2day. :-( by the time x.files came on, i couldn't help but think i should've spent some time this weekend werking on dj stuff.   since i was @ home so much, indoors, i should've done some dj stuff. :-/ oh well.   i feel very relaxed, i guess, rather rested.

good morning.   how r u?   as i sed, ppl haven't been hittting up my gbook much lately. :-(   yah, if u'r reading this, u should stop by n' say hi! :-)   well, i'm ok.   it's still beautiful weather in the bay area.   is the snow melting?! :-( no!!! i can't believe april's gonna be such a bizzy month!   how r we gonna find time to hit the slopes?!   i've got stuff to do.   i didn't mention that last nite i was writing my uc open volunteers committee report.   i guess i gotta send that to dr. lieu asap.   we have a committee head dinner on fri nite! woohoo! even tho' we've gotta do oral reports there, free fud is good! woohoo!   yah, of course, the beautiful kaela kang is so frantic 'bout planning the wedding.   there's no preventing that.   i really dislike cing her get stressed out 'bout the wedding. >:-( that's really no good!   *sigh* so neway, of course we have wedding stuff to take care of this month as always... what else do i hafta do? well, there's the wushu tournament; we definitely hafta volunteer @ that since the wushu club helped us w/ our taekwondo tournament so much!   i have the eit exam this month. crazy, huh?   *sigh* what else? well, there's just stuff... random taekwondo mtgs etc, u know?

[a li'l later] oh, i c "ii hangookgrl ii" signed my gbook a coupl'f times.   thanks.

my car looks so clean right now compared to how dirty it often is.   still, i know it could be shinier.   hrm. :-/ i wonder what kind of waxes ppl use on their cars. *shrug* jerome sed bruce (brandie's fiancée) knows 'lot 'bout washing n' waxing cars.   yah, i know that most guys w/ nice sportscars or rice rockets wash their own cars, i guess.   on the bronx's junkyard forums, i started a poll 'bout how ppl wash their cars, n' most of those guys sed they wash their own cars.   i posted the poll in "car talk," n' most of the guys who read that forum have either nice cars or rice rockets, etc.   should i go out n' buy some wax 4 my car? :-/ dunno.   hrm, i think i need to get it a new air filter.   yah, i should. *sigh* stuff to do.   we need to do laundry.   i have taekwondo demo team practice 2nite.   *sigh* i feel sort'f out of shape.   even tho' i went to sat morn class to get some exercise, i really feel the spring "break" got me a li'l out of shape. :-(   man, oh man. :-(   sometimes it feels like i eat so much but exercise so little.   what did i do all weekend?! i just loafed! loafed, loafed, loafed! <:-/ nuts, huh? yah, nuts! erm, i'm babbling now, rn't i? nuts. well, i gotta go to the bank soon.   i've got $$$ to deposit.   i've gotta fax in a martial arts equipment order asap.

152a: well, i changed my gbook now.   even if u signed it recently, please go back n' sign it 'gain now. :-) thanks.

well, i didn't get to updatechu guys since this morn.   well, i had a bizzy day (yesterday) @ werk.   however, i wasn't in my office much.   i spent most of the day out, shopping 4 supplies.   it was lots'f driving 'round cos of dumb reasons.   1 stoopid reasons 4 extra senseless driving was that the ca$hier @ home depot didn't give me my credit card back, but i didn't realise it till later! grrr! >:-( 4 lunch yesterday, i had a wendy's spring salad, medium fries, n' a medium diet coke.   wendy's has been heavily advertising their new salads, n' of course that advertising is invading the minds of the beautiful kaela kang n' me.   <:-( we're such awful suckers 4 fast fud advertising, huh? *sigh* nuts!   well, when i got to wendy's, i noticed that so many ppl were eating these new salads.   they have the spring salad i had, a mandarin chicken salad, a taco supreme salad, n' a chicken club salad.   after lunch, i bought a new air filter @ kragen n' a clearance 99¢ bottle of turtle wax.   yah, i'd really like to take better care of my car, as i sed.   later in the day, i changed the air filter.

well, demo team practice was really good 2nite.   we werked on lots'f stuff.   i tried to give the team a good werkout.   i want team members to leave practice feeling accomplished, u know?   i think we made progress.   we gained some new yellow belt members.   2nite, i finally got to try out that "demo sparring" drill i've always wanted to try. :-) yah, that made me happy.   when i got home, kaela had already eaten her dinner, some mandoo.   she was so nice as to start steaming me some mandoo.   mmm... son mandoo.   i really like son mandoo!   i had kimchi son mandoo, the batch that kaela steamed n' a 2nd batch i steamed.   i also ate some kimchi.

221a: well, earlier i read joon's entry 'bout how he feels somewhat insecure 'bout his academic situation in comparison to those of his childhood friends. :-/ well, joon! i do know how u feel; i really do.   what u r experiencing is what is known as "keeping up w/ the joneses," 'cept it's "keeping up w/ the kims, lees, n' parks," as i've sed b4 somewhere.   *sigh* yah, what is it?!   we'll always be comparing academic achievements.   we could also compare careers.   yah, take a look @ch'ur friend.   does he have a nicer house than u?   a prettier gurl/wife/etc than u?   how r u basing ur comparisons of worth?   ppl have diff value standards.   what's important in ur life.. 2 u?!   do u care 'bout having a wife? a family? or do u care more 'bout pursuing a ph.d.? do u care more 'bout $$$?   do u want fame?   do u want friends?   we all have priorities in life.

it's funny, joon.   i had a similar thought to urs recently: i was sitting @ the table @ solano zachary's w/ kaela, toby, ed park, stephan, n' hyung.   ed park n' stephan were telling me to go to grad skool.   "you might as well face the inevitable," ed sed.   :-/ i realised i was sitting @ this table w/ 4 grad students: kaela - masters of publik health, toby - masters of education grad, ed park - masters of material science engineering, stephan - doctorate of mathematics.   me n' hyung? me - bachelors in mechanical engineering, hyung - bachelors in geography.   i look 'round @ my college friends.   so many of them went of to graduate or law skool!   n' then there's me. :-( yah, if i think 'bout it 2 long, dang! i can get very depressed!   seriously, it's the kind of depressed that can honestly make me cry.   do u know what i mean, joon?

u make choices in life.   do u wanna know what often goes thru my mind when i make choices?   hrm, maybe u'r afraid to hear 'bout it. :-/   well, oftentimes when i have a choices in life, i think, "is this sumpthin' that i'll someday enjoy telling my grandkids 'bout?"   do u understand?   i wanna be a worthwhile person that lived an exciting, meaningful life.   yes, i want to be able to tell my grandkids 'bout kewl things i did, adventures i had. :-/ *sigh* however, how often do kids think their grandparents r all that kewl? :-( well... lemme tell u... even if i was bratty to my relatives as a kid, i know later in life, i learned to appreciate them better.   definitely, when i talked to my grandpa in 1998, n' he told me he studied kendo, that he recorded himself singing silly, li'l kids songs 'bout ppl farting n' stuff like that (stuff that appeals to my interest in folklore), i really appreciated it!   however, i also know he's very educated w/ a ph.d. in agricultural sciences.   he's a professor @ the best university in taiwan, u know.   so i dunno... sometimes ppl think all i wanna do is goof off. >:-( sucks, doesn't it?   *sigh* sometimes i just get exhausted from "keeping up w/ the hwangs," u know?

n' there r just so many ways to play that game!   if it's not 1 thing, it's 'nother.   u can compare academic degrees.   if u don't play that game, u'll compare bank accounts, real estate, cars, women... ain't that a way to objectify women, eh? that sucks.   hrm, i don't c ppl compare "women" so much as compare "love lives," u know?   neway, gurls play that game 2.   they compare bfs/husbands.   (more often bfs, cos 1nce they have husbands, they're usually beyond that game, i think...)   they compare love lives. :-( don't it all just make u wanna just buy a golden retriever n' live ur life on the slopes, snowboarding all the time?! >:-( u know, "homey don't pay dat!" as kids used to say. :-/

256a: neway, guys; i'm just way 2 sleepytired now.   we can continue this conversation later, k? thanks.

[later] late afternoon: well, i woke up late, like 1030a late! :(   i drove kaela all 'round in circles: 1st, i drove her to the rsf to pick up her swim stuff w/ plans to drive her to hearst gym to her swim class.   then we turned 'round n' went back to the rsf cos she decided not to go to her swim class but to go home n' study but left her reader n' shoes in the rsf locker.   then i dropped her off @ home.   i wanted to get lunch b4 werking a 0.5 day @ werk.com, but i had li'l ca$h, so i went to the bank to make a depo$it n' get ca$h from the atm.   upes! i 4got to get the ca$h!   i got to stroll past the petco a 3rd n' 4th time, which sort'f made me happy cos i got to c a pic of a cute burdy, a cute kitty n' doggy, a goldfish (how cute can they get?), n' a cute hamster.   then i took off to werk.com, but i needed fud, so i got a spicy chicken sandwich combo from j.box.

well, i went to home depot 'gain 4 werk.com.   on my way out, i bought a kiwiberry ruckus frutopia from the vending machine.   i've been doing physical labour all afternoon.   kaela got us werking on a proposed wedding banquet menu, which i faxed in to the prospective caterer.   phew! what a menu! i wonder if it looks like we're just trying to cause trouble 4 them?   they're not a specifically asian caterer, but we're asking 4 all chinese/taiwanese n' korean fud!   that's what we want! however, wow... they might just flip.   *sigh* neway, we need an answer from them by the end of the week, so we can get back to the wedding site 'bout if we can have the ceremony and banquet there instead of just the ceremony.

[later] evening: man, even tho' i got to werk really late; well, i werked decently late n' didn't take a lunchbreak since i ate lunch b4 werk. :-/ so yah... what a day!

afternoon: well, i got a response from my job search 2day.   heh, sounds ok, n' i had a fon interview just now.   i went in telling myself just to relax n' be casual, n' i actually managed to stick to that plan.   it could've been worse, right? imagine this:

interviewer: so u'r interested in this mechanical engineer position   is that correct?
beno: yes, that's right.
interviewer: it sez here on ur résumé that u r currently employed.   however, i'm not quite sure what u do.   can u please explain it a li'l deeper?
beno: well, have u cn stomp?
interviewer: the musikal? yes.
beno: well, u know that opening scene w/ the guy pushing a broom?   well, i do sumpthin' like that, but w/o the musik.
interviewer: so u do musikals?
beno: no, i sed, "no musik." ...'cept sometimes i do wear headfons n' listen to musik while i werk... i s'ppose i could listen to a recording of stomp while i werk, but i don't.   i usually listen to creed or the calling.
interviewer: rn't those bands just pearl jam n' stone temple pilots trying to make comebacks w/ fake, new names?!
beno: this interview is over! *click*

[a li'l later] dang! i had to retype my whole journal entry up till this pt!   u c, i was in the wrong directory on my unix server, so i was trying to save the file into a directory i didn't have access to.   i had to screen capture all that text n' retype it in! :-/ no, i couldn't just cut n' paste cos'f the ssh shell thingy.

i was so sleepyheaded this morn.   :-/ stayed up 2 late last nite. *sigh* i ate so much dinner, i couldn't go to bed, u know?   i came home from practice, n' the beautiful kaela kang had made ggongchi jjigae.   in case u don't know, ggongchi is a "pacific saury," a mackarelish fish.   well, i ate dinner, then i was on my 'puter trying to fix my eudora internet suite 4 palm os setup. :-/ 4 some reason the hotsync manager stopped hotsyncing eudora. *shrug* i hope it's not gonna be a recurring prob!   i fear the inevitable windows reinstall is rapidly approaching, u know?   i've pretty much resigned to the belief that u just gotta do fresh windows installs every so often.   cos of that, i've tried to back up my files regularly, but eh... i'm no angel. besides not backing up my files in a while, i also can't cm to find the cds 4 all my software.   of course, they're just buried somewhere underneath this mess, but well, i don't have them ready to go on call, u know? nuts.

well, b4 i came home 4 dinner, after the regular tues nite taekwondo club werkout n' the taekwondo demo team practice, i took johnny w/ me n' went to sweetheart café to get kaela a frozen hazelnut mocha w/o boba.   4 myself, i ordered a pineapple freeze w/ boba. mmm... kaela had a midterm 2day, so she wanted to hazelnut mocha drink to keep her awake.   she's been studying these past few days.   oh yah! i have pix to pick up from longs drugs, don't i! woohoo! it's always fun to pick up pix. :-/ well, it's usually fun to pick up pix.   it sucks when u pick up a roll of prints just to find out u look horrible in all of them, huh? :-(

well, 2nite we don't have ne official taekwondo demo team practice.   what to do? have a relaxing dinner? *shrug* i should get more sleep 2nite.   i took 2 advils this morn.   yesterday, i took 4 advils. :-o i usually avoid all medication no matter what, huh?   *sigh* i dunno, i guess i'm just giving drugs a try, u know?   my lower back's been sore 4 a while now, so i figure i'll consistently take advil 4 like a week, then stop. *shrug* is this ok? hey! i didn't eat fast fud 4 lunch 2day! woohoo! nope, i had leftover ggonchi jjigae instead! :-) sure, it's good to avoid fast fud n' eat healthier, right?   i think so.   there's an in.n.out not 2 far from my werk, but i've barely been there.   i might've been there like 2ice! crazy, huh?   yah, i go to mcyukyuk's n' bk so much more often than that!

so these past 12 hrs or so, i've occasionally reflected upon some of the thoughts i discussed in yesterday's entry. (please refer to "nan nauy gileul ddaragada." from 2002.04.02.)   *sigh* this whole idea of graduate education v. career? *sigh* it's a really frustrating situation, u know?   shesh! some ppl think it's such an obvious choice... either 1 way or the other... like, there r some engineering peers of mine that say graduate skool'd be an obvious waste of time.   however, u got my parents n' all those grad student friends of mine n' other ppl i werk w/ etc. that make me feel pretty $#!++y 4 not having an "advanced" degree. :-/ *sigh* like, i know my parents'd help me out financially if i were to go to grad skool, but u know... i've sed this over n' over 'gain: 1) can i get into a grad skool? 2) can i hack it? can i survive? 3) i burn $$$ pretty fast these days, altho' i try not to. :-( what co$ts so much? *shrug* just rent, utilities, fud... *sigh* n' heh... of course, we've got this gargantuan wedding to plan that's gonna make all olympic opening ceremonies n' royalty crownings look like cavemen rituals! ha ha ha! :-D ha, i'm just saying it's gonna be... *sigh* i guess fancy n' yah... it's gonna co$t me quite a bit. :-/ so off to werk i go, u know? *sigh* yah, it's time 4 me to go push that broom.   *brush* *brush* *slap* *slap* *brush* *slap* *brush* *slap* de capo 3x.

well, i think sometime in the next few weeks i'll get to interview in person w/ this silly valley biotech company.   a non startup, woohoo!   a nonstartup w/ a startup feel, sed the interviewer... ooh, sounds good. *sigh* what to do w/ life? ³­ ³ªÀÇ ±æÀ» µû¶ó°¡´Ù. ±×·¸Áö¸¸ ³ªÀÇ ±æÀº ¾îµð °¡¿ä? Àß ¸ð¸£°Ú´Ù.

did i mention i'm gonna compete in next week's wushu tournament? ha ha. just kidding! :-)

1239a: taxi's on.   i never meant to imply that taxi's always an intelligent show.   i think what makes certain taxi episodes feel more intelligent to me than episodes of modern sitcoms is that some of the old episodes of taxi dealt w/ emotional, interpersonal, social issues as opposed to just "flippant banter" 'bout the stoopid li'l things in life that r just so ironic or peeving, u know?   like, i don't mean to insult seinfeld, but u know how seinfeld fans take pride that their show can be funny 4 an entire 0.5 hr but not talk 'bout nething?   isn't that what they think is great?   like, it's senseless, but it's fun. right?   yah, as i sed, i don't mean to diss seinfeld, it's obviously a funny show.   i'm just contrasting seinfeld to taxi.   i s'ppose basically, it's just their subject matter.   neway! *sigh* :-( uh, i profusely apologise 4 rambling on 'bout whatever's on tv @ the current moment.   *sigh* i s'ppose that just doesn't make 4 the most exciting reading. :-/

neway, i wanted to thank "toki" n' "ii hangookgrl ii" 4 signing the latest version of my gbook.   heh, joon sort'f signed it... but joon! u gotta fill answer all the questions! actually, the beautiful kaela kang n' joon signed the earlier version of the gbook, right b4 i changed it.   thanks! :-) please feel free to sign 'gain! :-) it's not so much i need an ego trip.   i just wanna get to know my readers better n' give u guys a chance to know each other better.

well, i'm having a nite where i just feel way 2 exhausted to do an update, but *sigh* we'll c how far i get.   i've had an exhausting evening.   after a full day @ werk.com, i picked kaela up from werk n' brought her to dinner @ katanya ramen house.   we shared a dragon roll, kaela had nabeyaki udon w/ kitsune tofu instead of chicken, n' i had dumpling ramen.   then we went to target.   then we went home to get some coupons.   then we went to safeway.   *sigh* geez, man! it was just all way 2 much 4 me! 2 exhausting.   just way 2 much waiting 'round in stores. :-( talk 'bout frazzled! i just feel frazzled.   *sigh* man, i feel just so crappy. :-( why the heck am i awake?! i should be asleep.   my neck n' shoulders r sore... :-/ uhm, this is turning into a whiney rant journal entry... n' that's no good. :-( ok, i'd best just log off... step away from the computer!

[later] 1230p: well, i woke up pretty casually this morn.   i drove kaela to her to her swim class. it takes a long time to get newhere in berkeley, 'specially 'round the campus, during the day.   after dropping her off i went to werk.   b4 going to the office, i went to the san rafael orchard supply to get some things.   on the way to marin county, in the car, i listened to hyun's mix.   jerome gave me a copy cos i was having probs dling it from the net.   wow! it's really good.   the last mix hyun gave me had some sound quality issues, i hafta admit; but he cmed to have fixed all that! wow.   *sigh* i should werk on my djing stuff. <:-( i really'd like to!

so i found out 2day that dodge ridge closes 4 the season on sun. :-( both jerome n' i have free tix to dodge ridge, but we didn't get to use them!   :-/ i guess i'm trying to sell mine off.   i gotta wax kaela's n' my boards, but raymond has my wax. :-(

this morn, i had such a bad sore lower back.   i took 1 advil, n' now it's starting to go 'way.   *sigh* i'm gonna be an advil fiend! :-( i don't like this.   i really don't like to rely on medication.   i try to avoid pain killers. *sigh*

oh, i 4got to mention, that if u wanna c the korean in yesterday's entry "fon interview," then u'll need to have korean fonts on ur 'puter.   i recommend using unionway asiansuite unless u wanna just install windows w/ asian language support on ur 'puter.

what's w/ all these short paragraphs?!

so last nite i picked up some pics from longs drugs.   there were some good pics but also plenty of wasted film, i.e. bad shots.   since there was no good coupon 4 the cheap developing, i used the kodak developing this time.   i dunno why, but even tho' i used a coupon, it ended up co$ting quite a bit! :-( well, 'lest the fotocd has pics @ a much higher res than the cheapy kind'f developing.   lemme share w/ u a coupl'f pics:

these pics r from the 2nd day of alpine meadows, during our spring break trip.   please refer to "stalefish" from 2002.03.27 4 more 411! :-)

keno n' a snowdoggy

beno n' a snowdoggy w/ another snowdoggy standing majestically in the background.

i need to do laundry.   there're so many chorse in life, it cms. :-/ n' it's hard to eat right, u know?

the shoes that beno has pretty much been wearing 4 the past yr straight: salomon snowclogs.

morn: i just ate a odwalla fud bar, "superfood" flavour.   this morn, i made a big effort to get up ontime n' drop the beautiful kaela kang off @ her class.   then i drove off to werk.com.   i just wanna do my werk n' get outta here asap.   of course, the accountant has his cute golden retriever dusty here, but *sigh* yah... i don't really wanna dilly dally here 2day.   i just wanna get outta here.   on my way into werk.com, i was listening to hyun's mix cd 'gain.   yah, it's really good.   of course, i'm not sure why he refused to use the "master tempo" function on the cdjs. :-/ to me, that's 1 of the greatest advantages to using cds instead of vinyl.   sure, every1 thinks spinning vinyl looks oh so kewl, but when u use cdjs, u can change the speed of a song w/o changing the pitch.   i like that.   n' perfect pitched ppl like toby can really appreciate that.   i'm not perfected pitched really, but i can tell when a song is out of pitch.   so i really like the master tempo function.   neway, *sigh* yah i'm really missing djing... not so much doing live gigs.   i'm not totally aching to dj a wedding netime soon.   however, i really want to make 'nother mix cd asap. :-( well... i guess after snowboarding season.   i have lots'f interests/hobbies etc, eh?   well, 1nce all the snow melts, i'll try to spend more time on djing.   these r the things i like, u know?   what can i do?

2nite we have a uc open committee heads dinner.   ooh, i can't wait; free fud! :-)   it should be fun.   i've only been chewed out 1nce @ a committee head dinner. ha ha.   that wasn't so fun. :-/ raymond's a li'l afraid to go cos he thinks he'll get chewed out.

yesterday, after werk.com, i swung by copeland's in berkeley to buy some snowboard wax.   earlier, i called raymond n' asked if he had the wax we bought from tri.city last time.   we brought it up to sacto, n' i waxed his new board 4 him.   well, he left it in sacto.   copeland's had a 40% off ski/snowboard stuff sale.   heh, the place was ransacked n' bare!   they don't have a single snowboard left, just some skis.   neway, i bought my block of wax n' left.   when i got home, i found 1 of the hockey pucks of wax that we got from tri.city.   it was the puck i used to wax raymond's board.   man, it really makes a diff if u use good wax or cheap wax, i found out.   when i used cheap wax that was really cheap from goskate, i had to use lots'f wax cos the wax didn't melt n' spread very well.   w/ the puck of one ball jay wax, i didn't need to use nearly as much wax.   the wax i bought from copeland's is red fluorinated wax.   red is actually burton in disguise.   it's the division of burton that makes n' sells all the accessories.   i think burton wants to be the microsoft of snowboarding. >:-( well, i hear they have good produkts, but i think some of their stuff is overpriced.   it's not like i totally avoid burton stuff; i have a few things from burton n' red.   neway, shoot! i think every1'd like to be the microsoft of their industry, right? ha ha.

so i got an e.mail reply from alpine meadows.   i had asked them how much longer they'll be open.   they say they're hoping to be open till mid.may!!! woohoo! imagine that! snowboarding right b4 graduation time! woohoo!   dodge ridge closes on sun, n' i still have this free tic to use! :-(

[a li'l later] i didn't mention this, huh? i 4got my cellfon 2day! grr! >:-( now what?! i'm so cut off from communications, eh? *sigh* oh well, that just gives me more incentive to werk fast 2day n' get the heck outta here!   it's a matter of having no cellfon v. occasionally cing dusty.   he's a cute doggy, but i don't get to c him 'nuff.

i'm a li'l hungry already.   it really hasn't been 2 long since i ate that odwalla bar.   last nite, kaela n' i went to practice.   lots'f ppl were missing, but we went.   kaela got a headache in the middle of practice, so she sat out 4 the rest of it.   dave currie ran a good werkout w/ lots'f basiks.   after practice, raymond, johnny, kaela, n' i went to sweetheart cafeé n' got boba drinks. then after i dropped off the boys, kaela n' i went home, baked a frozen tombstone mexican pizza, watched tv, n' ate.   i scalded my hand on a slice of fresh.out.of the oven that fell of the counter, onto my hand, n' then onto the floor.   just to get back @ that evil slice of pizza, i ate it, even tho' it fell on the floor. :-/   i tried not to stay up 2 late last nite.   i can't wait 4 the free dinner 2nite! :-)

hey! if u haven't yet, please sign the latest edition of my gbook cos i don't wanna keep this edition 2 long.   i've got ideas 4 more questions w/ which to interrogate u all! :-) doesn't it suck that i never answer my own gbook questions? :-/ well, shoot! maybe 1 of these days, i will.   i hope i pick interesting questions.   i find them interesting.   i sincerely'd like to readjur answers.   in a way, i feel it's only fair i answer 2, huh?   talk 'bout nuts.

right now, my car is still all waxyshiny.   after the next time we go to tahoe, it'll be all nasty n' yucky 'gain. :-(   shoot! i gotta go to the hardware store!   2 bolts fell off of kaela's bindings.   i guess they fell off on the ride home from our last trip.   i gotta find some replacement hardware. :-/ i waxed those boards pretty quickly yesterday.   'gain, i guess it helps to have good wax.   man, using that cheap wax? it took 4ever!!! also, w/ that cheap wax, i ended up w/ a thick, thick layer of wax; n' if u know nething 'bout waxing snowboards, then u know that u don't leave the wax on the board.   no, u scrape it all off ('cept 4 the li'l bit that gets stuck in the pores); so that's 'lot'f wasted wax.   in the end, the cheap wax isn't all that much cheaper, u know? cos u end up using n' wasting so much more of it.

yesterday, after eating lunch, i strolled 'round the stripmall.   i looked @ some shoes in shoe pavilion.   *sigh* man, there r some nice shoes i wouldn't mind having. :-/ yah, i know i don't have many shoes... which is semi.expected of a heterosexual guy 'ccording to american worldview, right? however, i know i could have nicer shoes. :-/ i dunno... what do i need?   i know i don't got $$$ to burn right now, so i am definitely not gonna buy shoes that i don't need!   these days, i don't really wear shoes to death like i used to when i was a kid on a skateboard.   shoes do get worn out n' damaged... but i also just get sick of them.   there's that pair of j.crew, black, leather, dressy.casual shoes i have... i got sick of them, n' they've got a big@$$ scratch on the top of 1 of 'em cos i scratched it while moving some cubicle parts @ werk a long time 'go.   also, they sometimes hurt my feet.   i guess i ought to consider those goners instead of hanging onto them like this. :-/ i have a pair of doc martens that i was so proud to have bought in camden loch in england back in the summer b4 my freshman yr of college, when i went to scotland n' england w/ the san josé youth symphony orchestra.   there's a pair of ol' vans suede shoes i have somewhere... or do i?   maybe i donated them.   i didn't wear those much.   they were like a 0.5 size 2 big, but i bought them on sale, u know? *roll eyes* they sort'f hurt my feet when i wore them.   i must've donated them.   i dunno where they r.   shoes, shoes, shoes.   neway, as u know, i've totally slashed my "fashion" budget.   i plan just to dress like a hobo 4 a while.   hobo.   doesn't that suck?   in general, i'd much rather be overdressed than underdressed in most situations.   4 1 job interview, back in 1998, i showed up in a 4mal suit, while my interviewer wore shorts n' a hawaiian shirt.   ok, maybe that's 1 case where i just plain looked like a freak!   it was a hot, sunshiney day, n' we met @ the starbuck's on solano.   we talked while we strolled 'round albany/berkeley (whatever that area is over there).   neway, that's a diff kind of overdressed!

[later] 1225p: a ha! 'gain, i managed to find a virus e.mail in my inbox n' delete it b4 it did nething.   i got some e.mail from some rudd.1@osu.edu.   i dunno who this is.   neway, the subject was "look my beautiful, girl friend".   i suspected it was a virus, so i searched "virus look my beautiful girl friend," n' i found out it was a virus! phew!   deleted that sucker!

[later] 138p: i went to mcyukyuk's 4 lunch.   instead of going to the really closeby 1 in the cortea madera town center, i drove a li'l bit south to uh... what city is that?   it's by tiburon but right off 101. uh... oh yah! mill valley! after i just did a quick yahoo! yellow pages search, i figured it out.   neway, i wanted to go there cos i figure they have cheaper prices than the corte madera 1, which refuses to participate in most of the advertised promotions.   i drove past the arco station, which used to have the cheape$t gas in marin county always, n' very likely the cheape$t gas in the bay area.   the price 2day was 1.439.   that's not that cheap.   over @ touchless in berkeley, it was $1.349 last week, u know?   i think it still is, but i'm not sure.   well, i skipped the gas n' went to mcyukyuk's.   i parked my car n' went in.   there was a big line in the drive.thru, n' i wanted to sit down 4 a while, somewhere other than my office.   when i got inside, i realised that i barely had ne ca$h.   shoot! only 4 $1 bills! :-o man! i can barely afford a mcyukyuk's lunch?! argh, what's this world coming to?!   what's my life coming to?!   well, i ordered the 4 sumpthin' sumpthin' chicken select strips meal 4 $3.99.   i had $4.31 w/ exact change ready to give the ca$hier as my dad always trained me to do, but when the total came up i remember that tax is only 7% out here in marin county.   that's conservative politiks 4 u! ha ha.   well, i managed to find a seat in the crowded mcyukyuk's.   i sat 'mongst all these painters n' contractors.   yah! don't call me a yuppie! i lay down tiles 4 a living! i'm just a werking class guy just like all of u!   i had my chicken strips w/ the honey mustard sauce.   i was glad that it wasn't so unhealthy like the kfc mustard sauce which is basically mayonaise w/ a li'l mustard.   that unhealthy kfc sauce sure is tasty, but well... i'm glad the mcyukyuk's sauce has less mayo in it.   the fries weren't hot. :-( it's pretty normal 4 me not to finish my fries.   after i ate, i just drove back.   on my way back, i saw a male, mallard duck sitting on some grass by a sidewalk, near a creek by the village mall.   to the duck, i sed:
¿À¸®¾¾! ¾È³çÇϼ¼¿ä!
¿À¸®¾¾! ¾î¶»¼¼¿ä!
¿À¸®¾¾! »ç¶ûÇØ¿ä!
then, in the parking lot of my office, i saw a pair of mallard ducks just loafing on the ground, 0.5 asleep.   they were so cute w/ their bills tucked into their back feathers! :-)

i tried to take a pic of the cute duck couple, but they got shy.

[later] 652p: so i came home, got a bolt from kaela's binding, n' went to pick her up from bancroft clothing b4 going to orchard's supply to buy hardware to fix her bindings.   when i got to bancroft clothing, i spotted a parking space n' quickly snagged it.   the meter was broken.   kewl.   i went in to look 4 her, but did'nt find her.   then i saw chals outside, walking w/ a gurl.   i thought, "oh, i should go say hi to chals.   oh, but he's w/ a gurl; maybe i should leave him alone... nah! i'll just go talk to him."   well, ha ha. as i got closer i realised the gurl was kaela.   [later] 709p: where was i?   neway, kaela n' i chatted w/ chals 4 a while.   then i spotted erin 'cross the street.   chals yelled out to her, n' she came over.   erin gave chals a ride, n' kaela n' i went to quikley to get boba drinks. then i drove us off to orchard's, bought the stuff, came home, n' fixed kaela's bindings.

i had a thought yesterday while in shoe pavilion: maybe sometimes, i'd be justified in buying more expen$ive shoes if it means i can avoid shoes made in china.   huh? well, i don't wanna support sweat shop slave labour n' a government ready to nuke taiwan. [later] 1148p: shoes, shoes, shoes.

well, we went to the uc open committee head dinner.   wow, so many of the upper ranks congratulated us on our engagement! :-) it was a good dinner. *sigh* there were good n' bad things to say.   i feel bad cos i know i've been focusing 2 much on the negative. :-/ we had lots'f good sushi. yum yum! we were @ bonsai sushi restaurant on telegraph ave., a korean sushi place across the street from koryo sootbool n' next to juhngabok happy family chinese restaurant.   that was our 1st time there.   i liked it. :-) after dinner, we dropped off sally n' clarence.   clarence had a good conversation w/ us 'bout his parents' opinions 'bout if he were to have a gf.   after we dropped off clarence, we went to get gas @ touchless.   i can't believe 1.349 @ touchless is the cheapest gas i can find in the bay area! :-/

1020p: so the beautiful kaela kang n' i made a daytrip to alpine meadows 2day to use our season passes! :-) woohoo! it's so good to getchu'r $$$'s worth, u know? woohoo!   well, kaela had a hard time waking up this morn.   we originally sed we'd leave @ 600a, but we left @ 800a.   uhm, i'm not proud of this or nething, but i got to tahoe in record time 4 me. :-/ really, i'm trying not to drive fast, n' i'll try even harder after this.   from berkeley, i reached tahoe in 2.5 hrs.   urgh!   well, neway! i'm so glad i didn't get a speeding tic or nething.   well, c... the weather is so nice right now, so well... every1 was driving faster, n' it was just a smooth trip: no breakfast break, no gas break!   it was good.   well, we got to alpine 'round 1030a, n' w/ our season passes, we could just hop onto a lift w/o buying tix! woohoo!   we ended up only doing 1 run b4 breaking 4 an early lunch: portobello shroom sandwich n' garlic fries w/ a coke. mmm...   then we had such a full day of boarding!!!   we ran into jason buccholz from taekwondo w/ his friend hyuk.   we did tons of downhill/freeride stuff.   then 'round 300p, i just had to hit the 0.5 pipe n' terrain park!   well, we did only 2 runs down the 0.5 pipe n' like 3 runs down the terrain park.   ooh... i fell off a railslide n' hit my tailbone on the rail! :-( urgh!   yah... it's so sore now.   neway, i didn't let that stop me from riding.   well, considering i've been so sore lately in all diff parts of my body, i feel i did ok.   i think on our last trip to alpine, i pulled off more n' better tricks in the terrain park, but i didn't have a totally horrible day.   i tried to werk on 360s.   man, i have a prob that i can never start a 360 straight on.   i always gotta be approaching the hit @ a backside angle 4 a backside 3.   frontside? ugh, don't even ask! :-(   i've always had that prob w/ rotations.   like, when i skateboarded , i'd do 180s off of li'l ledges n' curbs, but i had to take off from a backside angle. :-/ the snow was so slushy, maybe corn powder in some areas.   i guess having such soft snow slowed me down on all my takeoffs.   neway, besides the fact that i hafta make big turns in btwn ramps to hit all of 'em, i think the terrain park is designed pretty well @ alpine.   actually, i guess the park layout isn't the best since i gotta make those big turns to hit each ramp, but the ramps r pretty well designed.   i like how they have 2 differently angled takeoffs, so if u don't got 'nuff speed, u can hit the shallower takeoff ramp.   good stuff.   oh! we got to play w/ some snowdoggies 'gain! :-) 1 of the snowdoggies is named "kayla."   funny, huh?

well, i drove to alpine, n' kaela drive from alpine to vacaville, where we shopped a li'l n' where kaela took me to dinner @ applebee's.   ooh! what a dinner!   i'm definitely still full.   i had the riblets platter, n' kaela had the crusted shrimp caesar. mmm...   sure, it's all not the healthiest fud, but it was good!   well, after dinner, i drove back from vacaville.   now we're home! :-)

spring 4ward?! ugh! :-( 2morrow morn, we have that all ucmap black belt mtg.   i wonder what's gonna be discussed other than the world university taekwondo championships?   it's sat nite, right now! :-) 2 bad we can't watch snl cos we don't get nbc here! :-( ah... i really like alpine's terrain park n' pipe setup; now that i think 'bout it... i like how they really cram as many ramps into the park as possible... n' after riding the pipe, u can still hit a coupl'f ramps n' a railside. :-) i don't shut up 'bout the terrain park @ alpine, huh?   man! spring 4ward?! that sucks! >:-( *sigh* well, it'll bright until much later now. :-) man! talk 'bout excessive use of smileys/emoticons! man! i can't believe we've never snowboarded w/ peter (bronx)!   kaela n' i realised 2day that we went snowboarding 4 like 12 or more days this season.   i don't count nemore, but we tried 2day: 1) clarence n' raymond north tahoe trip day 1, 2) day 2, 3) snow summit 4) taekwondo trip day 1, 5) taekwondo trip day 2, 6) laura's trip day 1, 7) laura's trip day 2, 8) squaw day trip, 9) northstar day trip, 10) heavenly 11) alpine day 1, 12) alpine day 2, 13) 2day. [benonote: upes! i 4got mtn hi.]   that's all i can 'member.   i have no clue if this is more or less than last season or the yr b4 or the yr b4. *shrug* no clue.   i wonder if we'll make it to alpine 1 more time this season.   oh yah! on our way back from tahoe, we stopped in nyack to get gas n' a snack from burger king.   the thing was that we didn't have much ca$h.   it was so sad!   we were trying to figure out what we could afford w/ $4. :-( man! this situation happened to me yesterday @ mcyukyuk's!   *sigh* these situations make me feel so poor! man, i tell u! there definitely is such a thing as advil addiction... or 'least like... when u take painkillers, ur pain tolerance goes down, u know?   like, when i don't take advil now, the sore spots on my body ache so much more! :-( i've really gotta wean myself off of advil!!!

how r u? seriously, i'd like to know.   :-/ i don't wanna make this a 1 way transmssion, u know?   yah, please communicate w/ me. :-) well, i feel a li'l groggy, a li'l heavy eyelidded, u know?   *sigh* daylite savings time! :-( as much as i know i'll enjoy the extra sunlite... ugh! yesterday, i woke up pretty fine, but this morn?   well, i still woke up fine, but now, later in the morn, i feel a li'l groggy, a li'l slow. :-/ well, i skipped writing an entry yesterday!   can u believe that?! didju miss me? :-)

well, yesterday morn, i went to that all ucmap black belt mtg in the team room of haas pavilion.   i tried to wake the beautiful kaela kang up, but she wouldn't get up.     i got to the mtg a li'l late.   they were in the middle of doing introduktions.   i felt kind'f foolish cos doug kim went right b4 me n' sed so much 4 an intro.   i felt that i needed to say more than just "i'm beno hwang.   i've been in the taekwondo club since 1993," so i sed "i'm beno hwang.   i'm a 2dan in taekwondo.   ;i've been in the taekwondo club since 1993."   :-/ the thing is... since every1 was pretty much a black belt there, i guess ppl weren't saying nething 'bout their ranks, i later noticed.   that made me feel dumb 4 mentioning my rank. :-(   neway, i realised tho' that, man, i've been in ucmap sooooo much longer than so many of the ppl in it now. :-o dr. min talked 'lot 'bout the history of ucmap n' his history.   i liked it.   i like cing him happier than he was in the past.   during the q&a session, micah asked dr. min, why is it that these days the taekwondo promotional exams cover so much stuff that isn't covered in class!   dr. min sed he didn't know that was the case since he hasn't been able to go to taekwondo club classes in so long.   however, yah! i'm glad micah asked that question, 'specially since i plan to test 'gain soon.   it's true; they do. :-/ n', in a way, i don't think it's quite right.   when the promotional exams roll 'round, i watch, n' then i think, "dang! what do we do during class?!?!"   well, i guess we spend a really big portion of class werking on sparring.   then we also do poomsase a li'l... but not enuf, somehow... it's like, students complain that we do 2 much poomsae... a good number of students complain that we do 2 much poomsae n' should just werk on sparring... but then 4 the students that actually care 'bout the rank system n' wanna promote... man, we don't werk on poomsae all that much! :-/ n' then we spend 'lott'f classtime just doing fitness stuff, i guess.   of course, i really like that cos i wanna be fit... but then hrm... *sigh* it's just so hard to figure out what's the best use of time, if there r students that actually believe in the rank system... of course... man! these days, there r many taekwondo students w/ such a blatant disregard 4 the traditional martial arts rank system, so what r we gonna do?! *shrug* it's diff these days, u know?   so yah... micah asked a very good question!

well, after the mtg, some of us hung 'round n' loitered in front of the pavilion.   then we decided to go eat @ barney's burgers on northside.   i drove romy w/ me back home, where we met up w/ kaela.   we waited 4 kaela to get ready.   then we walked to barney's burgers since it was such a beautiful day.   man! my maui waui burger was really messy!!!   barney's fried shrooms! mmmm! i really like those! sure, *sigh*, they're really bad 4 me, but i really like 'em.   well, kaela n' i walked home after lunch.   then @ 500p we went back to the rsf to meet w/ doug kim.   we had to show him an overview of what we could do 4 the smithsonian institute 2.week demo gig thingy.   now that it's pretty set that we're gonna be in it, i guess i can talk more in detail 'bout this previously "top secret" project: well, uhm... hrm... i should find some resources on the web to describe what we're doing. hold on! ok, check out this article from the smithsonian webpage: "the silk road at the 2002 smithsonian folklife festival"   so we'll be flown to d.c., put up in a hotel, fed, n' paid some decent stipend.   it'll be really hot n' humid! :-( well, it's sumpthin' diff, an adventure 4 us 2.   wow wow wow.   i guess we'll have a decent sized audience, n' we'll be doing the demo uhm... 'least 1nce a day 4 2 weeks... i think. crazy, huh?   well, it should be fun.

well, after mtg w/ doug, showing him our stuff, n' discussing asian traditions n' folklife w/ him, kaela n' i went home.   we couldn't believe how late it had gotten! the extra sunlite really threw us off!!!   well, we watched the simpsons.   then kaela cooked some spam n' asparagus pasta.   mmm.   then we watched the x.files n' ate.   during the 10 o.clock channel 2 ktvu news, kaela fell asleep, but i woke her up to watch the segment 2, a second look: my 20th century episode 'bout the late 80s cali4nia drought n' conflict btwn norcal n' socal 'bout it.   it was really weird cos romy had brought up that topik yesterday afternoon, saying that some norcal ppl don't like socal ppl cos they say the socal ppl stole our water. :-/ hrm... come to think of it, maybe romy brought up that topik subconsciously cos she saw the ad 4 this program! *shrug* dunno.   well, since i werked in the water industry n' kaela studies publik health, we thought the program was very interesting.   then i guess we pretty much went to sleep after that.   i was so tired, n' i zonked out pretty fast.   i sort'f 'member, some time in the nite, kaela woke me up cos she sed i was snoring. *shrug*

[later] afternoon: i don't think i mentioned this: on our way back from tahoe, i got a chip in the windshield, from a pebble hitting it, i assume.   did i mention this?   i 4get.   neway, this morn, i called up safelite, n' they're coming to fix it 2morrow.   :-/: i wonder how well they'll actually fix it.   back in 1999, i got a windshield chip.   they came n' fixed it, but they didn't do all that great of a job.   c... back in 1999, my car was in the shop 4 the whole month of feb cos of smashy.smashy on the 50, right?   then i got the car back on the fri b4 the big, big cal taekwondo party crew snowtrip during the 1st or 2nd weekend of cal spring break.   i 4get which.   neway, the trip went great; i had my car back just in time 4 it.   then, on the mon morn after it, i got a chip in my windshield from a pebble kicked up from a big rig truck, on my way to werk! talk 'bout "d.oh!" *sigh* neway, that time, i paid sumpthin' like $60 4 safelite to come fix it.   later, my sister told me she had done a news report on these situations n' that most ppl don't know that insurance companies usually covers these kinds of repairs @ no co$t to the car owner cos it's a preventative repair.   oh! i didn't know that.   well, this time, i'm billing the repair to my insurance.   they sed i don't hafta pay a deductable, but if my whole windshield needs to be replaced, i hafta pay a $100 comprehesive damage deductable.   no thanks.

i'm hungry.   i haven't had lunch yet.

[later] 311p: so i'm @ home now.   neway, check out this short, short sj mercury article 'bout how ski/snowboard resorts make so much $$$: "cold cash"   kaela n' i saw a pic on the front page of the mercury yesterday afternoon, while strolling past some newspaper machines.   the pic had a distant shot of a couple on a ski lift, n' the caption sed sumpthin' like "sweetheart deal," n' we wondered if the article'd talk 'bout getting good deals @ resorts.   i guess not. :-/ oh well.

1013a: u c, i feel kind'f weird updating right now cos i haven't yet uploaded a 2nd part of my yesterday's entry, "potato chips, tortilla chips, windshield chips."   i'm sittin' in my office waiting 4 the guy from safelite autoglass to come fix the windshield chip.   when i got to my office, it was all empty 'cept 4 the accountant.   i asked him, "did ne1 come looking 4 me?"   he sed, "no, but dusty's been looking 4 u."   just then, dusty (his giant, golden retriever) hopped up from under his desk, n' ran up to me w/ a wagging tail, ready to be pet.   he just loves to be pet by diff ppl, it cms.   his owner describes him as "obnoxiously friendly," as i'm sure i've sed b4.   neway, on my way into my office this morn, darren (idigu from bronx's junkyard forums) called me.   he was in san rafael after an interview.   he just wanted to mention that he might end up werking in marin county.   kewl! 'nother friend in marin county.   heh, he mentioned how it's so weird to him that marin county is so white!   true, true, true.   steve (my bro.in.law) sed it's the largest white population in cali4nia... sumpthin' like that.   ...cos most areas of cali have more asians, latino/chicanos, or blacks.   not marin county, nope!   of course, as i've sed, marin city is a very strange exception!   well, darren n' i chatted 4 a long time on my drive in.   it's good to talk to darren!   yah, i do hope to c him 'round, if possible.

well, dave still werks in marin county, in san rafael; but i don't ever c him. :-( well, heh! perhaps u could say it's mostly cos i don't call him... well, 'least just as much as he doesn't call me.   *sigh* it's weird, huh?   dunno. *shrug* i mean, 4 a while, in our lives, i guess there was a big "social chasm"!   sumpthin' just split our social lives 'part.   somehow it was assume that these ppl like to play golf n' talk 'bout stocks, n' these ppl like to go clubbing n' do kids' stuff. *sigh* what was up w/ that?!   that was just plain wrong! n' there was the whole, these ppl r korean, n' these ppl r chinese thing! *roll eyes* didn't it just cm to me that there was 1nce a time when we were all happy?   *sigh* well, shoot! i guess ppl tried to tell me that i liked having all these diff ppl 'round, but they didn't like each other! *roll eyes* whatever...   it's such an ugly thing to talk 'bout isn't it?

last nite, after practice, i drove roland, raymond, n' johnny over to sweetheart café to get boba.   on the way, on durant, i saw chals talkin' on his cellfon outside of sufficient grounds café.   heh, isn't that place a notorious korean hangout / meat market? ha ha ha. i know that's what it was when i was in college.   still is? *shrug* oh yah, i 'member when my 4mer intervarsity christian fellowship small group leader sam myoung was werking there! that's right! i think he had several odd jobs b4 going to grad skool, such as being a waiter @ the ol' spaghetti factory, n' i think he werked in the dc 2 or sumpthin'.   neway, yah... i saw chals outside there.   'member? the beautiful kaela kang n' i ran into chals on uh... fri? lessee... yah, i believe it was fri! (yah, it was.   please refer to "walking in my shoes" from 2002.04.05.)   'member that time i had dinner @ liane, dave, n' chals @ hotpot city?   strange that i don't c ne of them very often nemore. :-/ definitely, tho', i'd like consider all of 'em my friends still.

i guess ppl just don't always keep the same friends 'round them from elementary skool to convalescent home. :-/ however, just cos u don't c certain ppl often, doesn't mean they're not still ur friends.

[later] 650p: oh, n' u know what?   happy b.day, laura! :-) she's always so modest 'bout her b.day, but hrm... she can't stop me from mentioning it here! heh heh.

well, kaela came to my office.   she got to pet dusty the giant golden retriever, who was all went cos he stuck his head outside of the car while his owner drove back to the office from lunch.   dusty's cute.   so kaela pet dusty 4 a while, n' we talked to his owner, the accountant.   then we left my office n' went to the village mall.   i took kaela to lunch @ sushi island in the fud court.   we had lots'f sushi.   then we went shopping.   wow, i found so much cheap stuff @ gap.   well, in the end, i just took 2 things: a zip up sweatshirt n' a plaid, short sleeve, button up shirt.   i wonder what kind'f clothes i'll need this summer.   like, when we're in washington d.c., how will i need to dress?   it'll be so hot n' humid!   :-/ i had a $30 gift card from jeanna n' jay to use @ j. crew, but i still haven't used it.   i didn't find nething 2day.   maybe i can use it @ the j. crew website!   yah, maybe so. *shrug* [a li'l later] it was so grey 2day.   it sprinkled a li'l.

johnny n' joon: thanks 4 signing the latest version of my gbook! every1 else, please feel free to join in! :-)

235p: do u 'member that chris farley snl sketch, "matt foley"? i think that was the motivational speaker character's name.   well, last nite, i stayed up till like 530a werking on a mix; dj biz.   benomix 4jip material? *shrug* i dunno.   u c, i wanna make sure ne mix cd i distribute as an official benomix cd is top quality.   of course, i felt benomix 3jip had its blunders, but that's the thing w/ being an experienced dj: (i always say this.) when i was a kid n' i visited disneyland, the sets (like in pirates of the carribean) looked real or 'least realistic.   it was so fun, u know?   however, now, when i visit disneyland as an adult, the sets r amusing n' entertaining; but they rn't convincing 'nuff 4 me to consider them real or realistic.   sometimes i wish i could tho'.   sometimes i wish i could be fooled by the special effects.   i 'member how fun those rides were back then, when the fake fire looked like fire, when the animatronic robots looked like pirates or 'least actors dressed as pirates.   it was just fun.   similarly, as a seasoned dj (seasoned w/ garlic n' sesame), sometimes i wish i could listen to a mix cd n' enjoy it w/o hearing the subtle glitches, the 1s most other listeners don't hear.

well, i woke up in the midmorn.   i called up ken but got his voicemail.   i ate a bowl of red berry (strawberry ) special k.   i took care of some boring daily affairs, like checking my bank accounts, etc.   ken called me back n' sed, yah, it'd be fine 4 me to go visit him.   the beautiful kaela kang steamed some mandoo 4 her lunch, but i figured i'd eat w/ ken.   i drove down 880 to milpitas.   dang, 1nce 'gain i missed that hard to spot detour 4 237e/calaveras.   :-/ well. i got to ken's store n' found so much commotion.   he's sooo into the digital satellite biz now, not just cellfons.   well, 'pparently he didn't have much time 4 a typical buddies lunch, but he asked if i wanted to go w/ him n' ryan to install a satellite dish; we could grab lunch on the way.   oh, ok.   so i hopped in the back of their new, used utility van.   wow, sittin' in the back of the utility van, on the floor, w/ my back 'gainst an backrest pillow, the kind w/ 2 arms, i felt so werkin' class! :-) hey, i could give a "whazzup" nod to the guys in the caltrans truck if i wanted to. ha ha! ken drove 1st to deanza community college cos he wanted to apply 4 a booth spot @ their big, monthly flea market.   wow, deanza... "this is where lots'f these bronx's junkyard kids go, huh?" i thought.   the flea market was all sold out of booth spots.   in the parking lot, ken met up w/ some guys, some guys w/ the asian "thug" look.   i thought, "man, what would i look like if i shaved my head n' grew a goatee?   could i get a job? as an engineer?" *shrug* then ken drove 2wards the jobsite in campbell, but we stopped by a mcyukyuk's drive thru on the way.   since some ppl might say my recent muscle twitches might be due to lack of iron, i ordered a 0.25 pounder w/ cheese meal w/ a diet coke, even tho' i don't need a that beef fat in me. X-( ken covered ryan n' me.   ryan was upset cos they didn't give him sauce 4 his mcnuggets.   i enjoyed the view sittin' in the back of the van, lookin' out the back.   ah... the absolutely beautiful, warm, warm, bluesky weather of the so bay!   ah, the open space! all the land exploited 4 free parking.   man, maybe the silly valley is running out of land in comparison to antioch n' tracy, but man! they've still got lots more land than berkeley or sf!   as we drove thru local streets, i reminisced.

then we got to the jobsite.   i thought the customer'd be just some middle.aged father familyman, prob'ly white.   no, the young korean guy introduced himself to me as mike.   i'm guessing he lives w/ his parents in this house w/ 3 cars: a mustang, a beamer, n' a lexus.   that's the thing 'bout asian life in the sobay, kids'll do the ol' "traditional" asian thing n' live w/ their parents until marriage.   it's a diff life! no rent, no utilities, no groceries... no privacy. heh. yah, diff life! it really is!   in a way, i feel so foreign here in the so bay just cos so many ppl my age down here live that life.   it affects the young culture down here.   u don't get yuppies, 'least not young 1s my age.   no, this is how u end up w/ yuhseuppies!!! just like i sed b4!

well, it's 327p now.   as i write, i'm sittin' in the back of the van, in the shade yet enjoying the bright sunshine along w/ the mildly warm, gentle breeze, the occasionally li'l, fluffy, white cloud, the smell of trees, flowers, n' lawn grass, n' the myriads of chirping songburdies.

earlier, i called up the wedding caterer n' left a voicemail.   i know i talk 'bout our wedding plans so much less than kaela.   however, i do wanna do my part in planning it.   [later, 919p] u know so many tasks in wedding planning r assumed to be feminine tasks according to american worldview, u know?   like, it cms vendors'd expect the bride to call n' ask 'bout flowers, etc.   r there male wedding planners?   it cms like ppl'd think a male wedding planner'd be like what they assume male interior decorators r, right? :-/ so... r there ne gay wedding planners?   well, that's a funny question w/ 2 possible meanings: 1) r there ne homosexual ppl who werk as wedding planners? or, 2) r there ne ppl who plan same sex weddings?   well, i wonder 'bout both.   neway, ok... i'll try my best to defy ne lame, sexist worldviews 'round here n' be more active in planning our wedding!   after all... i do want some say in how it goes!   u know... i'm sure kaela n' i r focusing on diff things.   like, i know kaela does think 'bout things like flowers n' centerpieces way more than i do.   me, i think 'lot 'bout...

well, 1st off... @ the risk of sound superdorky, lame; i'd say what i want is to have a kick@$$ wedding party. ha ha ha. sure, i know that makes it sound like a want a frat party 4 a reception, but that's not what i'm saying.   what i am saying is that, 1st off, i do want to have kewl, dancing musik @ our banquet... i mean real dancing musik! stuff i dj... stuff our friends, young ppl go to clubs n' parties n' dance 2!!!   like, i've djed so many wedding banquets, n' i've always enjoyed djing it as if it were just a house party 4 a bunch of young ppl!   very much so!   it can be so fun!   well... :-/ 1 thing, 'lott'f these ppl i djed 4 got married young, so well, there were lots'f like college students @ their weddings.   i hope our friends rn't 2 old to dance!

'nother thing, equally important: i definitely want to have many asian influences in our wedding.   definitely kaela n' i agree that we really want asian fud @ our wedding: korean n' chinese/taiwanese fud, as i've sed so many times b4.   yah, we want to do asian customs, u know?   it's important to us.   kaela n' i both sed we want to do the whole korean pyeibaek wedding ceremony, in addition to the euroamerican, christian ceremony.   kaela sed she'll get a chinese dress to change into 4 the last part of the banquet.   i like those things.   originally, i was hoping to do a set of those asian wedding portraits... i guess, in addition to the american style wedding day shots.   :-/ now that we're looking @ this monster budget... *sigh* yah, i'm wondering if we'll hafta scrap that.   well, shoot! i worry, worry, worry 'bout what else we'll hafta scrap just cos'f lack of $$$. :-(

well, neway... as u c, i'm not necessarily thinking all that much 'bout flowers n' centerpieces... but there r things i really think 'bout... 'specially musik! musik n' asian traditions, i guess r my priorities. :-/ well, *sigh* that's just me.   i'm sure some ppl r thinking i'm totally out of my mind. :-(   also, i do wish kaela'd concentrate on her skoolwerk 4 the last few weeks instead of the wedding. :-/ i just don't want her to be so stressed that she's pulling on her hair.   that's bad!

i just saw a commercial 4 the nissan xterra, where a guy was mtn biking.   i never understood what mtn biking is all 'bout.   so do u jump off of rocks n' stuff?   i'm honestly confused.   hrm... like, some skiers, i don't get how they're having fun! on a steep run, what they do is sort'f jump/slide really fast 4 a few feet, then they come to a complete stop.   then the jump/slide 'gain n' 'gain come to a complete stop.   whuh?! how is that fun?!   i've concluded these ppl just wanna be able to say they ski black diamonds while they can't handle actually going down a black diamond slope. *shrug* that's not skiing! that's just hopping down a mtn... kind'f like rappelling, maybe... *shrug*   do u know what i mean? 'specially on those mogully slopes... is it fun to go down a steep slope really slowly, stop n' go, stop n' go?! i don't think so! wouldn't it be more fun to go down a less steep slope but go fast the whole way thru?

well, i drove back from the so bay thru crappy traffik.   ugh, yah... that's 1 bad thing 'bout the silly valley 4 sure.   i picked kaela up from werk.   we went to longs drugs to get some things.   then i took her to dinner @ mama lan's on gilman.   we ordered the house special stir fry crab.   wow, it was big n' messy!   the waitress put bibs on us!   we also ordered the saigon chicken n' spring rolls.   mmmm.   it was all very good!   after dinner, we went home.   a while 'go, i was on the fon w/ ken.   he figured we didn't get to chat much 2day cos he was so bizzy w/ his dss biz.   after coming back from the installation job, we walked to the nearby 7.11 n' bought a big dr. pepper.   i thought 'bout hanging 'round longer to kill time during rush hour, but ryan told me it'd just get worse, so i left.   neway, on the fon ken n' i mostly talked 'bout career, $$$, n' inve$ting.   *sigh* yah, i really gotta inve$t $$$ in sumpthin' good.   i wish i knew what. :-(   well, $$$ isn't everything.   i like ducklings! ...n' i'll c plenty of ducklings when i'm living... in a van... down by the river!

4 more 411 'bout chris farley's matt foley motivational speaker sketch, please visit chrisfarley.netmegs.com.

1234p: this morn i groggily woke up since i stayed up late doing dj stuff while the beautiful kaela kang studied 4 her upcoming oral exam.   she woke up this morn b4 me to continue studying.   then i drove her to her swim class n' drove to my bank to deposit checks.   on my way to el cerrito via albany, i drove on key route blvd.   i passed an albany hi skool called banf hi skool, i think.   maybe it's "banfv" or sumpthin'.   i entered the el cerrito plaza from a diff entrance from what i usually use.   i saw that this old el cerrito plaza has been trans4med into a sparkling, new union city / orange county type strip mall w/ a cold stone aisukuriimu coming soon n' a macaroni grill already open, i think.   i wanna try this rubio's mexican joint.   this plaza has a pasta pomodoro.   i already knew it had a petco.   the new albertson's is huge.   wow, now the good ol' cali4nian suburb is that much closer to berkeley's urban jungle!!!   wow! why move to silly valley or socal?!   u got all the american beauty, middle class suburban, corporate strip mall atmosphere u could possibly want, right here!   no need to drive to pinole!   shoot! what's next? in.n.out or krispy kreme?   howzabout a claim jumper just so phil can stop asking, "do u guys have claim jumpers up here?" ha ha ha! just kidding.   after we discovered the concord 1, out where they have nasty delta water 4 publik water unlike in ebmud territory.   woo hoo! go ebmud!   then 'gain, it's only right that the only norcal claim jumper i know of should have nasty tap water! it gives it even more of a so cal feel!   well, hey; santa clara valley water district h2o ain't all that delicious!

neway, i deposited my checks n' then explored petco out of curiosity over how it could possibly be so big that it has entrances on 2 opposite sides of that block of the mall.   i knew petco sold pet fud, pet supplies, n' fish .   2day, to my overwhemingly pleasant surprise, i discovered they sell burdies n' rodents!!! 8-D woo hoo!   u might say i was overjoyed.   burdies! rodents!   4 burdies, they had plenty of finches, canaries, luvburds, cockatiels, n' a parrot; no parrotlets.   4 rodents, they had plenty of albino mice, hamsters, dwarf hamsters, n' guinea pigs.   oh, maybe they had rats.   now that i think of it, i might've skipped a section.   who knows? maybe they also have bunnies.   the dwarf hamsters r cute cos they ball up n' hide under the paper shreds.   u don't c them 2 well, butch'u c the paper shreds vibrate in certain areas of the cage n' know they're under there.   the albino mice cages were so full.   yah, i question if that's ok 4 their health!   after looking @ the fuzzy rodents, i went back to the burdies n' realisep i could enter the glass room they r in.   i've always liked burdies so much.   even tho', cos'f their hard beaks, they can't smile or frown, ppl can read their emotions thru their eyes, feathers, n' other body language.   in the past decade, i've avoided having pets cos i worry 'bout dealing w/ the grief when they pass away.   they just naturally don't live as long as humans. :-( yah, when a pet leaves this world, it sure is sad.   however, maybe the joy they bring their owners during the pet's lifetime outweighs that grief.   of course, 'nother reason i've avoided keeping pets in the last decade is the lack of resources, namely time n' $$$. :-( i gotta feed myself n' kaela b4 ne animal, right? :-/ what do i do w/ the pet when i'm @ werk? out @ the movies, to dinner, or partying? in tahoe? @ taekwondo practice? on vacation? *shrug* well, maybe pet animals can survive w/o my being right in front of them 24/7. :-/ still, i wouldn't wanna be a negligent pet owner.   i'd wanna be a caring, attentive pet owner w/ happy, healthy pets.   i really dream of someday being a caring, attentive father w/ happy, healthy kids.

[later] 133p: now i've turned on my 'puter , checked my e.mail, n' received a martial arts equipment order from ups.

well, even tho' albany now has a socal / so bay style, modern strip mall, it still doesn't really have track homes.   track homes, as well as giant strip malls, r very essential to corporate mind control of the middle class. :-D ha ha, it's comments like that that draw all sorts'f dark, gloomy cynics 2wards me, ain't it? ha ha ha.   no seriously! i c it both ways.   i totally understand that strip malls n' track homes make us corporate tools, but yah... i never sed i don't like 'em.   i'm an optimist, 'member?! well, i think i'm an optimist... :-/ i think i'm an optimist n' a romanticist n' maybe even a bit of an idealist.   i c the good n' bad of con4mist suburbia n' the good n' bad of the urban wasteland.   i prefer to focus on the good.

[later] 1130p: so if u guys talk to me, we can make this place an interactive place.   4 example, kaela e.mailed me some comments 'bout yesterday's entry. (please refer to: "life in the back of a van... a van down by the river"):

"r there ne homosexual ppl who werk as wedding planners?" remember "the father of the bride?"

"r there ne ppl who plan same sex weddings?" i talked 2 margaret 2day. she told me that ppl in her program r getting married this july. 1 gurl has a partner whom she'd like 2 wed... but they hafta go 2 hawaii since it's apparently illegal here. i bet that couple's planning their butts off rt now!

also, i'd like to thank jerome n' joon 'gain 4 signing my gbook! :-)

423a: reserve u r copy of benomix4jip 2day!!!   just a li'l while 'go, i finished a big chunk of it.   no, it's not all done. nope nope nope.   i feel i'm @ the stage in produktion where i could release a trailer maybe, i.e. if we were to use a film produktion analogy to describe where i'm @ in the album.   no, i will not be literally releasing a trailer, but i'm pondering putting online a low sample rate mp3 version of 1 of the major mixes.   i s'ppose that'd be the equivalent of a trailer.   let me know if u want me to reserve u a copy of benomix4jip by signing my gbook n' saying so.   if u need to give me a mailing address, u can e.mail it to me.   if i gotta send 'lott'f these guys out, then i hope ppl don't mind compensating me 4 some shipping. :-)

[later] 1014a: so i woke up in the morn, drove the beautiful kaela kang to class.   then i went to the barnes & nobles by blockbuster.   i looked 4 a eit exam book; none.   nuts.   should i try the bigger barnes & nobles in the el cerrito strip mall? or should i try those indy bookstores on telly?   well, the indy bookstores on telly have the advantage of being right in the middle of a college environment, so they would be more likely to have educational materials, right?   i think so.   the el cerrito b& n, it is just plain big... i think.   maybe it isn't so big; i 4get.   *sigh* petco... i could go there n' stare @ loveburds, cockatiels, n' hamsters.   well, i could but i guess i shouldn't.

so i was up late last nite werkin' on benomix4jip.   lemme tell u, i really love the sony mdr.v700dj headfon monitors that kaela gave me 4 christmas. :-)   definitely, they r helping me out so much w/ this projekt!

1126a: so i sent off my resume in ms wurd n' txt 4mat to a coupl'f places just now.   i gotta get career stuff done, u know? :-/ man, i should go out to buy that eit book soon, shouldn't i?   [a few mins later] dude! u know what'd be fun? to play guitar a li'l after all this time! yah, huh? *sigh* well... i dunno; maybe not 2day, eh?   nope, i should take care of jobhuntin' n' eit affairs, eh?

[later] 526p: so i picked kaela up from her werk.   she finished her oral exam n' passed! yay! :-)   then i brought her home.   she got her stuff n' went back to werk, but she had to drive to her lab's sponsoring company's office.   i feel like such a bum.   oh , i didn't mention, huh?   i had a fon interview earlier 2day.   i set up an in.person interview 4 mon afternoon.   crazy, huh?   it's 4 a famous biotech firm in so. sf.   that's quite a drive. :-( man, what would it be like to hafta spend 3 hrs on the rd each day? 1.5 going to werk, 1.5 coming back. :-/ *sigh* i dunno... in a way, i've been so spoiled these past coupl'f yrs.   i haven't been waking up as early as i used to, u know?   i go to werk late, but i do stay late 2, u know. :-/ so yah... i thought to myself, "imaging getting up @ 630a everyday!"   i'd get home earlier... maybe. *shrug*

so yah, i spent the day doing jobhunting n', well, werking on the mix...   i know; i sound like such a slackerbum. :-(   u know, i spent a bit of time censoring out all the f*cks, shibpal, n' jotgga from a certain song. heh heh.   lame of me, right?well, part of the reason is that i'd like to be able to play my cd in the ucmap room, u know?   i figure, it's best not to have so much swearing, in that case.   well, now u know that dj doc's "l.i.e." is on the cd.   well, sung better appreciate it.   hrm, maybe i'll make an uncensored version 4 those who want it. *shrug* i've never been 1 to support this kind'f censorship much, but eh!   it's not that i'm against freedom of speech... i'm just trying to deal w/ common courtesy in the martial arts room, u know? heh.

neway, it's now 631p.   i've gotta get my butt over to the ucmap room to set up 4 the big wushu tournament!   i'd best upload this entry asap.

1041a: it's morn.   i'm s'pposed to be @ the wushu tournament helping out, as the wushu clubs helped out so much @ the taekwondo club's uc open.   man, i was late yesterday, n' i'm late 'gain 2day.   neway, last nite, it turned out that many more ppl showed up than was really necessary, i guess.   lots'f ppl just stood 'round.   i tried to help out as much as i could.   lemme tell u, by the time i got to the wushu setup last nite, i felt really depressed.   why? well, i guess just cos i've felt so shut in cos i was pretty much indoors, @ home all day. :-(   i felt like i've been so antisocial, a hermit!   i felt so yucky!   n' then i was thrown into this environment w/ tons n' tons of young ppl running 'round, making jokes, being normal, happy, young ppl.   i felt sort'f awkward.   i felt really depressed also cos i just feel so stressed these days 'bout, like, finance$.   i dunno what to do or what's going on, u know?   i get stressed.   i'm not sure how much $$$ i really have.   like, i know how much i literally have in the bank, but i'm not sure how long that'll last me, etc.   i got depressed thinking 'bout how 4 the past almost yr, i haven't been making as much $$$ as i could have cos my company had every1 take some time off every so often on a skeduled basis, 'member?   so... like, i never really focused on how much i was really making... what i mean, i've focused on how much my nominal annual salary was s'pposed to be, if i wasn't taking all that skeduled time off... n' i even thought 'bout how i was s'pposed to get this big retroactive raise after my company gets funding. *sigh* i feel i haven't been werking as hard as i could've these past few months.   ok, that is a statement that can be very misinterpreted! what i meant by that is this: even tho', yes, when i've been @ werk.com, i've werked very hard; it cms to me i should've spent more time looking 4 higher paying jobs, better career opportunities!   i shouldn't have let my career stay so stagnant.   sometimes *sigh* it cms like it's all 'bout the $$$, u know? "must be the monaay!"   i look back on my life in the past few months, hrm... *sigh* yah, c??? i was getting really depressed thinking 'bout stuff like that?   u know what? when u rn't @ werk n' don't have a very structured skedule like the 1 werk provides u w/ (whether u realise that it does or not), u have time to reflect on life in a bad way, think 'bout how much time u'r wasting, stress 'bout how much time u'r wasting, n' wallow in misery thinking that u'r not generating income @ that very second in time, u know? *sigh* it's very depressing.

yesterday, a well.known n' respected taekwondo club leader (whom i won't name!) e.mailed a bunch'f us saying he's considering quitting cos'f some sociopolitical reasons.   man! i really don't want this person to quit!   i know this person's had a lott'f responsibilities n' burdens in the club, but i c this person as a very good leader n' mentor in taekwondo as well as other things in life, including education n' career!   now, this may sound selfish, but 'nother reason i can't have this person leave is that i worry like crazy what kind of additional responsibilities'd be dealt upon me if this person leaves.   really, the taekwondo club n' the uc martial arts program means so much to me.   i know these r really stressful times 4 the program w/ the wutc coming up. :-/ sure, i bet it's tempting 4 'lott'f the higher rank leaders to jump ship right 'bout now.   i wish they'd all know that we really appreciate their efforts.   *sigh* 2 bad there r so many ppl who r very good @ expressing that they don't appreciate it, i guess.   i 'member when i was younger (ha ha) n' thought "geez, those office staff ppl! they don't ever werk out! how can they even consider themselves part of the taekwondo club!" *sigh* those were very foolish thoughts, i now really hafta admit!

so last nite a bunch'f us taekwondo ppl were setting up the wushu tournament.   the beautiful kaela kang, now done w/ her oral exams, which she passed (w/ flying colours? *shrug* we'll hafta ask her.), was off @ her lab's sponsoring company doing werk @ their office.   she was there till like 1000p!!!   crazy! well, a bunch'f us, after the setup, went to dish, the korean hof/pub by my old apt, in the old kim's super burrito location.   it was fun.   many, many taekwondo club ppl came... well, not like tons, but like 10, i s'ppose?   it was fun to hang w/ sung.   we hadn't cn him in ages.   kaela joined us when she got back from werk.   she commented that she hadn't hung out w/ so many korean ppl in a long time... n' this wasn't that many korean ppl!!!   u know, looking back on that statement, i realise what was prob'ly actually true is that she hasn't hung out w/ many ppl, in general, in a long time! well, she hasn't hung out in a long time.   that's cos'f all her exams n' skoolwerk.   she's been pretty secluded cos'f skoolwerk.   well, i guess, to some extent, yah... we haven't been 'round as many koreans.   like, we don't c jerome as much cos he's been studying really hard.   sung? he leaves after teaching the green/blue belts.   young? we saw her last nite, but ever since she quit demo team, we haven't cn her nearly as much.   tiffany? we saw her last nite, but she's been studying much more, i assume, n' coming to taekwondo much less.   me? i think i've been 'round more koreans than kaela cos i have been going to taekwondo so regularly... but it's not like the taekwondo club has that many koreans, when it comes down to it.   well, since i hang out online @ bronx's junkyard forums, i guess i'm pretty surrounded by korean influences 2.   *shrug* well, i'm glad the bill @ dish wasn't 2 bad.   like, sometimes ppl equate going to korean pubs/bars/clubs w/ shelling out lots'f $$$.   i guess that happens if u order lots'f maekju/soju etc...   no, last nite wasn't a drinking nite, so yah... the bill wasn't 2 bad.   not only that, dish is just plain cheaper than kkokko house, u know?

hrm... back to that subject of "hanging w/ koreans": yah, i guess some korean ppl equate being 'round korean ppl w/ being w/ family... i mean... some koreans that don't hang w/ korean peers... they prob'ly, when they think 'bout korean culture, think 'bout family things... however, some young korean ppl who do hang out w/ korean peers, n' even those nonkorean ppl who hang out w/ korean peers, think 'bout korean culture n' they think 'bout all the young ppl things, u know?   u know what i mean?   i'm sure it's the same w/ other cultures 2.   i guess i'm just thinking 'bout this e.mail 4ward that linda (kaela's maid of honour) sent me 'bout "what kind of asian are you?".   have u cn that 4ward?   u can prob'ly find it online somewhere.   neway, after reading it, even tho' it may sound a li'l egotistic, i concluded taht i'm "fobulous" to some extent.   in this context "fob" = "fabulous oriental being." ha ha.   even tho', many of us asian.americans hate the term "oriental" cos it's used in the contexts of "oriental, exotic girlies," "oriental massage parlor," etc., i find that term "fobulous" sort'f amusing in a good way.   well, yah... i think i'm somewhat "fobulous" as the e.mail sez that fobulous ppl r in touch w/ american n' asian culture / pop culture.   i think i am.   n' i'm glad i can be in touch w/ diff asian cultures.   i like that i am able to go to chinese/taiwanese joints as well as korean joints , u know?   some nites i hear soft mandarin ballads; some nites i hear korean tekno n' rap.   it's funny cos taiwanese pop n' the majority of korean pop r often sooo diff cos taiwanese pop is so soft!   it's all sort'f ballads or else like soft altrock stuff or else boyband / gurlband pop ballads... but it's so often ballads, u know? or else like lite rock sounding stuff.   well... that's why i listen to more korean pop musik cos there's more dance musik, tekno, hiphop, altrock, punk, etc.   hrm, speaking of "hanging w/ koreans," man! why can't we hang w/ joon sometime soon?!?!

well, shoot! speaking of hanging out @ chinese joints, shoot! i'd best get my @$$ over to that wushu tournament!!!

208p: well, i just started writing a journal entry, just a coupl'f sentences of it; but ms notepad actually crashed, n' i lost those 2 sentences.   phew, 'least it didn't crash after i had written more, right? [later] 220p: ok, i wrote a much longer journal entry, n' then notepad crashed 'gain! >:-( ok, now i just don't feel like trying nemore! grrr!   don'tchu hate these kinds'f teknical difficulties?!?! grr!   maybe i'd have better luck if i wrote this entry on my handspring instead of on my winxp 'puter. :-/

149a: ok, i'll try to save very often to avoid more teknical difficulties.   well, sat was the wushu tournament. uhm, where did i leave off?! :-(   well, i helped out all day @ the wushu tournament.   i walked to the uc berkeley campus, instead of driving!   ah, it felt good!   i enjoyed the sunshiney day.   i put on sunscreen b4 i left the apt.   the beautiful kaela kang was still asleep, but i woke up.   i got dressed.   i grabbed the remaining 0.5 of the chocopie i had started eating some time 'go, n' i started walking to campus.   i listened to musik on my soundsgood mp3 springboard   the chocopie, i'm not talkin' 'bout the korean chocopie, no.   i'm talkin' 'bout the kind of pie that hostess makes?   the kind that homerun pies imitates?   this particular chocolate pudding pie was a safeway select 1.   kaela bought it 4 me 1 nite when she went grocery shopping while i was @ taekwondo practice.   she also bought an apple 1.   i told kaela a story 'bout these chocopies from my childhood.   when i was a kid, my mom bought us fruit pies of the hostess variety, yah.   she'd also buy dingdongs n' hohos.   i always wanted to try a chocopie, but i never got to.   1 day, i saw the remainder of a chocopie in the trash.   i asked my mom 'bout it.   she had bought 1, tried it, n' didn't like it, so she threw it away.   i was pretty disappointed cos i wanted to try 1.   'member, i was a really fat kid that ate everything i could get my hands on.   oh well.   u know, maybe this chocopie was the 1st 1 i ever ate.   hrm, it does feel weird calling these chocopies, cos i know there's that korean snack chokopai.   i just like saying chocothis chocothat... like chocochip cookies.   :-/ then 'gain, maybe i like typing it more than i like saying it.   true dat, true dat. (there's a phrase that is more fun to type than say!)

well, the wushu tournament... yah, it took all my sat.   i werked security @ the competitor entrance.   honestly, it was a bit of a stressful job, but i'm glad mike shea was such a help!   i didn't get to eat much, but sung n' kaela brought us some fried wontons from the volunteer room.   well, that nite, jerome organised a b.day party 4 laura.   later, their friend jenny huang, who is some1 i've sort'f known 4 a while cos she went to hi skool w/ me altho' we never really hung out much, had us "crash" her neighbour's party.   funny, tho'.   her neighbour's woody garret, whom i've known 4 a long time cos'f taekwondo.   even tho' i knew woody a long time ago, i never heard from him after he stopped going to taekwondo.   i always would've assumed he just graduated n' moved 'way. *shrug* i knew his li'l sister had started taking taekwondo w/ us.

sun, while kaela went to a dragonboat practice just to check it out, i went searching 4 eit (engineer.in.training) exam books.   'member, i couldn't find them @ the berkeley barnes & nobles.   i went to borders in emeryville.   nope!   well, after borders, i went to officemax in emeryville to get some free.after.rebate items then drove to southside berkeley to go to cody's.   aha! cody's had them!   i dropped over $100 to buy 2 eit exam books.   well, 'least it felt good to patronise a li'l, berkeley, independent operation, as opposed to a faceless megacorporation like borders or barnes & nobles!   as i was checking out, i saw seunghwan.   we talked briefly, but he was 'bout to go home, he sed.   then on my way back to my car, i ran into vince gueriguian, my soph yr roommate n' ol' friend.   we talked 4 a while.   it was kewl to catch up w/ him! *sigh*

well, when kaela came back from the dragonboat event, i took her to dinner @ yeitnal jjajang.   we just ate jjajangmyuhn n' returned home 4 sun nite fox tv. heh heh.   simpsons n' x.files!

mon: i dropped kaela off @ her werk, then went home to nap a bit.   then i went to my interview w/ a headhunter in so. sf.   it was 4 a job w/ a consulting firm that werks 4 genentech.   it was a good interview, i guess.   i feel good 'bout the job in that, i think i can get it if i want it.   i worry 'bout the commute, but vince sed genentech has a shuttle that could take me from bart.   if that's true, i'm much more interested.   ah, commute! *sigh* well, i've been sort'f spoiled 4 the past coupl'f yrs, i guess.   even tho' corte madera is far from berkeley, the commute hasn't been 2 bad.   driving to so. sf on such a warm sunny day, it was great!   on the way back, instead of just driving home, i drove thru sf a bit.   i went to chrissy fields n' took a coupl'f pics w/ a disposable cam: 1 of alcatraz n' 'nother of the golden gate bridge.   it was such a beautiful day.   after that, i went straight home n' ate some campbell's soup minestrone.   then i picked kaela up from skool n' studied a li'l 4 the eit.

218a: well, we had demo practice "2nite."   since i'll miss the upcoming cal day demo cos'f the eit exam, i've put brian chi in charge w/ johnny as his assistant.   demo practice went fine, then a bunch'f us hung out w/ seunghwan since he's leaving 4 canada 2day.   we met up w/ chals n' 2 of his friends (helen n' paul) @ jupiter.   well, we got there 1st.   man, the kitchen was closed, so all we could have were drinks! *sigh* well, most of us had a beer. :-/ 'member back in 1999? owen had his "beer diet" weight loss program.   well, shoot! 2nite many of us did that diet!   oh well. *sigh*

1241p: i'm waiting in my car, in front of the rsf 4 the beautiful kaela kang.

[later] 637p: i'm in bechtel engineering library, where i've spent most my day, where i'll spend mgst this week, studying 4 the eit.   it's frustrates n' depresses me that i'm struggling to do things i used to do just like that: *snaps fingers* now i 'member how it is to walk on the cal campus w/ an exhausted, defeated look on my face.   oh yah.

kaela bought me lunch @ taiwan restaurant.   we had lunch specials n' jenju nai cha<   kaela had spicy prawns, which was like kkangpoong saewoo; but she asked them to add green beans on top.   i had asparagus chicken.   it's not sunny 2day.   this morn, it was a li'l sunnier.   in the late afternoon, it started to drizzle.   2day, i've studied math n' statics.   no, not statistics! statics!

516p: i'm in bechtel library. as i often am these days.   2day so far, i've studied more math n' then electricity n' electrical engineering.   in the past coupl'f days, i've rediscovered the joys of engineering in an academic environment.   i actually like doing problem sets... when they go right, that is.

What is this "sociopolitical problems" in u'r taekwondo group u keep talking about. Its a martial art. There shouldn't be any sociopolitical problems.

that's from the msg schroedinger left in my gbook.   thanks 4 signing my gbook, schroedinger!   (every1 else should 2!)

what r these "sociopolitical" probs?   well, 1st off; as a responsible leader of the taekwondo club n' ucmap, i refuse to air durty laundry.   however, i admit that ucmap is a big, big, big program, n' organising, planning, governing, leading. n' running it r tasks not w/o their hardships n' stress.   we have differences in opinions n' philosophies 'mongst the leaders.   we have problems delegating werk.   we have problems acquiring funding.   it's mostly very internal affairs, things that only pertain to the higher ranks, the leaders, those who form the somewhat governing body of the program.   only the black belts here need to worry 'bout these issues.

w/ the world university taekwondo championships (wutc), which we r hosting, coming up in june; the black belt leaders have sooo much added pressure n' stress.   many of us have all sorts'f extra bureaucratic n' logistic tasks.   we demo team members r putting on sooo many demos this semester, many specifically to promote the wutc.

@ ucmap, we have a long standing "tradition of excellence" to uphold.   it's alott'f pressure.   we always need to be the nat'l collegiate champions.   as dr. min always tells us, it's much harder to maintain the castle than to capture it.   it sure feels that way to me.   well, 2day i told the demo team to take pride in their werk here @ berkeley taekwondo, regardless of all the pressure.   i told them to be proud cos they continue to put on good demos, while handling all the bureaucratic n' logistical jobs required to run the biggest collegiate taekwondo program in the nation.   sure, if we could shovel off all that volunteer werk onto paid werkers, we could better focus on our training.   however, ucmap has always been 'bout more than physically training in martial arts.   it's also 'bout promoting it. supporting it, upholding it, n' shaping its history.   it's a hard job.

do i sometimes wish it were "just a martial art"?   well. i'm glad i can still lose myself in the moment, get on the mat, kick, kick hard, push myself, n' 4get all bureaucracy n' politics.   sure, i like to get sweatty, to kick till i can kick no more, n' then kick some more.   i love pushing my endurance w/ jason han's sparring werkouts.   i like improving my balance w/ dr. lieu's poomsae sessions.   of course, i love jumping hi, kicking hi, n' spinning fast during demo werkouts.   in the end, it's got to be 'bout the martial art.

1213p: i'm typing this entry from the beautiful kaela kang's 'puter.   i guess lately, i usually write my journal entries on my handspring.   *sigh* it's late.   i ought to be @ bechtel library!!!   it's cold these days, so i have a hard time waking up.   that's very bad since 2morrow's eit exam is @ 700a in san mateo!   crazy, huh? *sigh* :-(   yesterday, i skipped taekwondo practice to study.   i've gotta study.   @ times this week, i've thought to myself: after the eit, i'll jump right into studying 4 the gre.   :-/ do i mean that?   i dunno.   being on campus, it's been really weird.   i get nostalgic feelings sometimes, walking on northside.   ah, the engineering students' life!   then 'gain, i wouldn't wanna crash n' burn, of course! *sigh* as far as studying engineering, i like it when things go well, but i don't like it when things go wrong!   :-/ i worry 'bout 2morrow's eit exam!   i worry 'lot!   what if i don't pass?!   *sigh* or should i just think "that's not an option!"?   no, it's not an option, but what if?! no no no, don't think 'bout "what if?"!   just study! just do it!

522p: ok, now i'm on my 'puter.   this afternoon, i dropped kaela off @ her class, then went to bechtel to study.   did i mention that the biggest waste of time this week was having to move my car every 1 or 2 hrs when i drove to campus?   yesterday, i walked to campus instead.   that was better.   *sigh* i'm so worried 'bout the test.   what if i don't pass?! :-(   well, u know, sometimes i even wonder what i have to gain if i pass. :-( most engineers i know haven't taken this test, 'least engineers that i graduated w/ etc.   i know darlene has taken it, but she's a civil engineer, n' it's really important 4 civil engineers to take the e.i.t.   last nite i skipped taekwondo practice as i sed.   why does studying more hafta mean eating more, eating worse, n' werking out less? :-( that's bad!

so, as i sed, being in bechtel library, werking on engineering problems has really made me a li'l nostalgic 'bout being in engineering skool.   :-/ study 4 the gre? sure, why not.   why not take the test, so i 'least i have the option of applying to grad skool?   oh yah... i don't love studying that much. oh. :-( well, even if i took the gre n' applied to grad skool, what's to say i can get in to berkeley 4 engineering grad skool?!   if i end up wanting to go to grad skool, i might hafta go somewhere else. *shrug* dunno.   student life sure is sumpthin' diff, ain't it?   brain exercise; brain exercise is good.   i like feeling like i'm using my brain as i'm studying these engineering topiks.   man, i really feel that i've let my brain turn to mush these past 4 yrs. :-( really! the werking world can do that to u!   it's so unrewarding!   *sigh* $$$! money, money, money... that's almost all that the werking world has given me. :-( really, in many ways, the werking world is so unfulfilling! so unrewarding! just think 'bout the hours wasted sitting in commute!   seriously, i cannot emphasize 'nuff to young students how much they'll hate commuting to werk!   it's evil!   the werking world is so ptless!!!! but then it pays u! :-(   it's so sad! so tragic, isn't it? this conflict! :-(

this past week, in the morn, i had a coupl'f dreams that resulted from hearing npr (national publik radio) (kqed.fm) as i was waking up.   sometime this week, i had a dream that i was being interviewed by npr.   they wanted to know my opinion, as a dj, on spoken wurd per4mances.   i dreamt i made a connection from spoken wurd per4mances to rap musik... but some1 kept butting in!!!   hrm, that was prob'ly the person they were really interviewing on the radio show! ha ha.   this morn, i dreamt i had a conversation 'bout movies w/ phil.   well, it was cos they were interviewing roger ebert, the movie critic.   yah, i like waking up to npr... better than waking up to 95.7fm's gene n' julie.   yesterday, gene n' julie had a conversation 'bout the recent $108 million lottery winners (3 diff winners in that big multistate lottery game).   gene had a very valid pt: he sed that if u were to win that $$$, u'd eventually, sort'f get new friends as a result.   what he meant by that was that u'd want to do things w/ ur $$$ like frequently go to hawaii or to expen$ive places, but ur friends wouldn't be able to keep up w/ u.   sure, u could pay their way, but how could they get vacation time off from werk???   well, yah, u could just let them get fired n' pay 4 all their expen$es, but how many friends could u really afford to support?! n' how well???   u could put all ur friends on welfare from ur own funds or else support a few of ur friends really well... :-/ it's was a very valid, intelligent pt!   however, julie tried to stifle his discussion off the bat, it cmed.   like, she right 'way wrote it off as stoopid n' almost didn't wanna talk 'bout it further.   well, neway... i don't really like listening to their program much.   the musik? yah, some of it is ok, but i don't like the talk.   neway, i've giving them 'nuff publicity now. *roll eyes*

speaking of giving publicity to a company u don't wanna support: how 'bout all the ruckus over the abercrombie & fitch t.shirts that negatively portray asians?   have u checked out: "abercrombie: ethnically derogatory clothing", that northwestern university based site 'bout the situation?   yah, personally, i think the t.shirt graphics r bad 4 the asian.american community.

well, since i hafta study, i don't have much time to write. sorry.

[later] 742p: now, i'm picking kaela up from werk.   i c the campus is preparing 4 cal day (2morrow) w/ all thes tents everwhere.   it feels weird that i'll be so far from here, taking an awful, hard exam.   whenever, i have some challenge like this coming up, it cms like the rest of the world is just havinq fun n' smiling.   i think, "how did i get myself into this?!"   it's really funny n' almost ironic that i often get this feeling b4 taekwondo demos.   it's funny cos, if i weren't takinq my eit 2morrow, i'd be doing the cal day taekwondo demo.

[later] 931p: we bought fud from baja fresh n' brought it over to jerome n' andy's to eat w/ andy, laura, n' roland.

1224p, @ the san mateo expo center parking lot: it's warm in my solar heated car.   it's chilly n' brisk outside, sunny but cold.   the test?   i guess i'm "0.5way" done.   i finished the am portion, the general exam.   in 0.5 hr, i'll go back in 4 the pm portion, the specialised section.   of course i'll be selecting the mechanical engineering exam, altho' i've heard the general engineeg exam is sometimes easier. :-/ dunno.   like, i've heard u could quickly glance over both b4 deciding which to take, but 1 book i read advised 'gainst that cos u'll psyche urself out. :-( well, the 1st part of the test: the probs weren't as bad as i expected.   they gave such a thick 4mulas, equations, constants, etc. handbook.   i didn't expect such a good handbook.   however, the prob was that i ran out of time!   i was much 2 thorough!   i 2x checked answers 2 much! :-( often, i should've just picked my answer n' moved on!   the 120 questions, they take a long time!   no time to dilly.dally! *sigh* well, i hope i can make up 4 all those questions i didn't haje time to finish.   drawing from my princeton review experience, i just picked "c" 4 all those unfinished probs.   no penalty 4 guessing; good.   in anthro/folklore classes we studied euro.america's fascination w/ the number 3.   that makes "c" a good pick.   uh, well, we'll c. :-/ i paid $5 4 a mediocre turkey sandwich from the expo cafe.   my not.so.large, "large" diet coke was $2.50.   :-( rip off fud!   ah, it's so nice n' warm in my car!   it's so cold outside!   man, i sure hope i don't hafta retake this exam!!!   i got here really early this morn.   i have a nice parking space.   i didn't really need to get here so early tho'; they wouldn't let me in till 700a.   well, by then, a long line had started.   neway, i had no good reason to rush, just anxiety.

i wonder how the cal day demo's going.   2day is the beautiful kaela kang 's n' my 27th monthversary! :-) *sigh* can u believe it?   well, 2morrow we'll go to a bridal expo in sf.   that should be fun! :-) then we can hang 'round sf afterwards. :-)

1250p: well, the test'll resume in like 10 mins.   i should go now.   can u believe i missed free jamba juice 4 this? ha ha ha!

1120p: what a crazy day!   man, i feel like i haven't updatedju guys in a long time cos i've done so much since uh... lunchtime yesterday.   :-)   well, the eit exam?   psshhh! that happened so long 'go, didn't it???   ha ha, i guess not.   neway, :-( i don't feel i did all that great. :-( i felt so slaughtered after the test. :-( it was hard, much harder than i expected. :-( well, i heard the cal day taekwondo demo went well w/o me.   good!   last nite, the beautiful kaela kang n' i sort'f went on a "double date" w/ johnny n' michelle.   we went out to 1000 van ness, ate @ venture frogs, n' watched the scorpion king starring the rock n' kelly hu.   it was a fun nite.   we watched the 1145p showing cos it was already kind'f late.   now venture frogs has a boba stand in it; it's called lollicup; cute.   the boba ain't cheap, but :-/ stuff in sf isn't ever that cheap, right? *sigh*

well, 2day, kaela n' i went right back to sf! heh heh.   we went to the big bridal expo @ the marriott hotel in soma.   it was pretty big, i guess.   well, actually... i think i expected it to be bigger. :-/ neway, it was pretty fun.   they gave me a sticker that sed "vig very important groom" on it.   ha ha.   they gave the brides "vib" stickers.   there were some freebies, lots'f advertising... it was basically a tradeshow.   i actually paid $10, put $$$ down to get some deal 4 tuxes.   well, we'll c.   i hope they have nice tuxes @ this place.   if not, well... supposedly i can get my $10 back, but well... it sounds like a decent deal... as long as they have nice styles.   well, we watched the fashion show.   i wonder where these ppl come from that put on this show.   they basically travel all over, i think; but i dunno where they come from. *shrug* man, those wedding djs really annoy me.   i keep thinking how lame they r!   geez, if i were to go ask them 'bout djing our wedding they'd charge 4x what i've ever charged a wedding party, n' i know i dj 4x better than ne of them! *roll eyes* seriously! no question 'bout it! it's just plain, objective fact! :-/ really! i'm not trying to be cocky or nething... it's just geez! i don't care how many diff ways they can introduce "y.m.c.a."! i just plain mix better than ne of them!   neway... it just pisses me off that they charge like 4x what i've ever charged.

1143p: well, after the bridal expo, i drove kaela 'round, gave her a special tour of sf.   we 1st stopped @ the palace of fine arts, after driving thru the marina.   we took some pics there.   aaah, it was sooooo beautiful there!!!!   they have such cute water animals 2!!! the turtles, the swan, the duckies, the seagulls... even the horny pigeons r cute!   *sigh* what a wonderful place! what a wonderful place!

keno@palaceoffinearts.org: i like the rays of sunshine coming from behind! :-)

beno n' his horny pigeon friends
(pics stolen from kaela's digital elph)

after the palace of fine arts, we drove thru the presidio, then to ocean beach, then thru the haight, then... hrm, all over the place! well, we ended up @ betelnut pejiuwu 4 dinner! mmmmmm!!!   well, asian.fusion 2 nites in a row, but wow! betelnut is great! the smoked sea bass? yum yum! u gotta try it! man! really... u guys gotta try it! i love george chen's restaurants! yah, i'm a big george chen fan! heh heh. :-)

after dinner, we wanted to watch a movie.   since j.town's so close to the union st area, i tried to take us to the kabuki 1st, but i found out that they're having the int'l film fest right now, n' we were just looking 4 a mindless, american movie; not an intelligent 4eign flick, u know? heh heh.   post st was shut off 4 the cherry blossom festival neway, so it was hard to find parking.   well, we went right back to amc 1000 van ness n' watched the sweetest thing.   in a way, it wasn't what i expected, but it was decently funny.

well, 2morrow starts a new week, i guess. weird, huh? no eit exam to study 4 2morrow. :-/ should i study 4 the gre? *shrug* dunno.   i know 1 thing i need to do is wrap up recording benomix4jip.   i'm wondering what american songs to put on it.   i don't wanna have just korean musik on it.   i know 3jip was all korean musik, rave/tekno, n' then old skool hip hop.   i'll try not to have such old musik on there.   i'll think 'bout what american/english songs to put on it cos i know many of my friends r very much not into asian musik, yet i'd like them to enjoy my djing 2. ooh! u know, i'd love to put some latin musik in there if i can.   u know, i like some of that stuff.   undercover ricky martin fanatic, eh? ha ha ha.   no! i'm hardcore! i just listen to menudo! :-)

1208a, 2002.04.22: wow, 2morrow (as in 2day) is ben n' jerry's free cone day!   hrm, i should go eat aisukuriimu, eh?   add that to my list of things to do! heh heh. then 'gain, i really should werkout 2! 'member? i can just make a life out of werking out all day n' being a male model like derek zoolander! :-D ha ha ha.   *sigh* i was thinking b4 that maybe this next weekend, we could go snowboarding, but eh! i can't snowboard that much right? even tho' we have those season passes. :-/ u know 1 thing we've gotta do?   we've gotta try out diff korean/chinese restaurants in san jo or on el camino to c where we wanna get fud 4 our wedding banquet! yum yum. :-)

129a: here's a ralph wiggum quote that the beautiful kaela kang'll love:
"Dear Miss Hoover, you have Lyme disease. We miss you. Kevin is biting me. Come back soon. Here's a drawing of a spirokeet. Love Ralph
i got that quote from a page of ralph wiggum quotes: funny ralph wiggum quotes.   maybe kaela's already cn that page.   it has a very cute ralph animated gif: ralph_anim.gif.   kaela likes ralph wiggum, n' i like him 2! :-)

philip huang: thanks 4 signing my gbook!!!   hey, readers! please sign my gbook!   i'd really like u 2!   thanks! i wanna change the questions 'gain soon, u know?

wait a sec! does ralph wiggum even have a cat?! :-/ the wiggums have a dog, but a cat? hrm... supposedly its name is "mittens." *shrug*

[later] 1143a: it's b & j free cone day!   it's earth day.   happy earth day! 4 brunch 2day, i ate a can of chef boyardee 99% fat free ravioli.   yes, it was rather tasty.   i'm glad it's 99% fat free. :-) i need to shave.   i should exercise.   it's monday. :-/ what should i do w/ my life???

1236p: i've had a thought 4 a while.   u know, i really think it's kewl that there's venture frog's lollicup boba stand in the amc 1000 van ness theatre.   i think it's kewl that boba drinks r getting popular w/ more than just asian ppl.   i think that's good!   it's nice to c that more nonasian ppl r getting into boba drinks.   like, i know there r young "azn" kids out there that prob'ly don't like cing nonasian ppl doing asian things like drinking boba etc., but u know? that's lame.   it's good that asian culture gets promoted in america in a positive way, u know?

101p: so hyun sez bellagio is hiring djs 'gain, eh? :-/ last time he sed that, i got pretty hyped up.   i was sort'f disappointed that they didn't call me up or nething.   however, all that hype did get me werking on my dj skills, u know? n' that's good.   i needed to hone my skills, u know?   i had been so stagnant 4 a long time.   that was bad.   well, *sigh* i'd like to be all hyped 'bout hearing that they're hiring, but i dunno... like, i know they don't pay that much, not 'nuff that i'd wanna make a career out of it... :-( however, yah! it would be, like, my dream gig, i guess.   *sigh* i just can't help but feel a li'l disillusioned from the last time i heard they were hiring djs, u know? :-/

[later] 323p: i was gonna drive to campus to give kaela a reader she 4got this morn.   i was gonna drop it off w/ her right b4 she went to her class.   instead, she told me that we'd go get free aisukuriimu cones.   i had brought the wrong reader neway.   we stood in line w/ some of her friends from publik health skool... i think.   then we went to longs drugs cos i had hi, hi, hi hopes of finding spam lite 4 $1.99 each. :-( nope, no spam lite, just spam n' reduced sodium spam. *sigh* well, i bought 1 reduced sodium spam.   well, we bought some stuff.   then i dropped kaela back off @ her werk n' went home.   it's a warm, sunny day.   it's not a sunny, brisk day, no!   it's actually warm!!!

since it's mon n' i'm not @ werk n' not in skool, i'm starting to feel a li'l depressed. :-( i've spent the day doing some djing stuff... but *sigh* i sort'f think i should exercise, but *sigh* it just doesn't werk out.   i dunno what to do.   it frustrates me n' gets me depressed. :-/

well, last nite, i went to taekwondo demo team practice.   it went ok.   then i picked the beautiful kaela kang up from her werk.   we ate mandoo 4 dinner.   we watched tv n' stuff.   did i ever mention to u how a while 'go i realised that we always watch reruns of tv shows... so like, we're constantly bombarded w/ images from several yrs 'go.   that made me worry if these reruns r making us unhip!   like, r we not up w/ the times? :-(   i guess it's desensitizes us to the horrific sight of hairstyles, fashions, n' cellfons from 1993. ha ha.

it's 924a now.   i woke up early this morn; relatively early.   i went to sleep rather late.   i hope i don't fall asleep in the afternoon.   ah, *sigh* i have a hard time believe i won't. :-( the weather was so beautiful yesterday.   it'd be such a shame to sleep thru a beautiful day.   last week was all 'bout studying n' getting no exercise.   i'd like to get some exercise this week; i really would.   935a: well, i'm still watching these kaplan gre test prep cdroms on ebay.   941a: kewl, i won the auction 4 the kaplam gmat/gre/lsat 3cdrom set!   $20.49 + $5.50 s/h.   that's cheaper than ne other price i could find online this morn.   well, i hope it gets here fast... then i can study to take the gmat, gre, n' lsat! ha ha ha... yah, right! X-D well, uh... i hope i'm not kidding 'bout the gre part!

[later] 1139a: well, i drove kaela to her swim class.   it is a beautiful day outside!   i don't want to go back to sleep!   i wanna stay awake n' be alive!   i should go wash my face.   i managed to shave b4 i drove kaela to class, but i didn't get to wash my face.   i feel gross. yuck. [later] ll54a: ok, now i've washed my face. *sigh* not being @ werk, i really gotta budget my time, set goals 4 myself.   really! as i've sed b4, i can really get depressed over life, if i give myself 2 much time to think 'bout life.   i start thinking, geez! some ppl'll never respect me unless i'm a doctor or 'least get a ph.d. :-( i dunno... like, i know i have talents in some things... but who appreciates them? :-( c? i can really depress myself if i try.   [a li'l later] 1215p: no matter how efficient i try to make my day, i still hafta take time to sit on the toilet n' do my biz. :-(

105a: it's already april 24, eh?   crazy. 2424.   i 'member the belgian industrial tekno group front 242.   i watched them @ lollapalooza! X-D ah, that was so long 'go, eh?   wait! did i watch them @ lollapalooza 1 or 3? (i didn't go to 2.)   i didn't get to watch siouxsie n' the banshees @ lollapalooza 1 even tho' i really wanted to.   u c, i had to leave the concert to go play electrik guitar @ a church musikal.   funny, huh?   i did watch nin (nine inch nails) @ that show.   i saw nine inch nails 'gain later, freshman yr of college, @ the san jose state events center.   well, 2nite (or uh... this morning), i feel so alive, 'least after taekwondo practice.   "so alive," back in the early 1990s, that was a song by a alternarock group called love & rockets. ah... i 'member that song.   i really liked it.   n' i really liked those mod (modern rock) groups that had nice iconic trademarks, n' love & rockets sure had a nice iconic trademark: a rocket w/ a heart in the middle of it.   those kinds'f of graphics were so kewl back then! :-)   well, b4 taekwondo practice i felt really stressed out.   i spent the whole afternoon werking on djing stuff, mixing.   however, i just felt depressed n' frustrated cos i felt nuthin' was going right.   'member, i'm a bit of a perfektionist when it comes to djing.   so i just felt really frazzled.   i recorded some mixes, but i didn't totally like what i did.   well, i also rerecorded the ucmap wutc demo soundtrack, made it a li'l better.   heh, i'm sure most ppl won't notice, but i know i'll notice!   i hurried to record a coupl'f my mixes onto a cd n' huried of to practice, worried i'd be late.   i went to taekwondo practice had a relatively intense werkout w/ jason leading us w/ some sparring after we had some "light contact" sparring.   man, i was a li'l tired after the werkout but knew i'd hafta go straight into demo team practice.   well, during demo team practice, i heard my mixes, n' i actually thought that they're not as bad as i thought. :-) yah, i kind'f liked them... 'cept 4 a glitch here n' there... yah... but they weren't as disastrous as i thought.   demo practice was ok.   we went thru the demo 1nce, n' i thought we'd go home then.   i told the demo team that we'd plan to practice the wutc demo material on sat afternoon.   then master yoon came out of the office from a mtg w/ dr. link n' told us we'd hafta run thru the demo 'gain in 5 mins. X-( d.oh! *sigh* well, i ran down to my car in the parking lot n' added another quarter to the meter. :-(   well, neway, i felt good after practice.

then i came home n' found out kaela had cooked me a feast!!! :-O wow!   she made all this pajuhn n' soondubu jjigae! mmm!!! it was so good! wow, i loved it!   isn't she great?!?! :-)

check out this article on y! news: "ethnic media in calif. show growth."

[later] 215p: well, kaela n' i woke up in the late morn.   i tried to sleep more, but she insisted on pulling on her hair as she studied in bed.   it's my job to make sure she doesn't pull her hair cos then she'll make it all frizzled n' tangled n' brittle. :-( ng! no good.   eventually, i just totally gave up the idea of sleeping nemore.   we got up n' ate leftover pajuhn n' soondubu.   then i dropped her off @ class n' went to the bank to deposit a check.   it's such a nice day.   why am i inside @ home??? *shrug* what am i gonna do 2nite? no taekwondo practice, right? or yah?   last week, i told toby i'd give him a tutoring session of sorts 2nite.   i dunno if he remembers or if he still has time.   i feel very bad that i haven't been able to spend time w/ toby doing taekwondo.   well, i've spent a li'l time w/ him doing taekwondo on those sat morn classes.   i wonder if i'll go this sat.   kaela signed us up to watch a cooking show @ a hotel in millbrae @ noon.   if we go, we're supposed to receive some free vacation packages. :-/ we're both a li'l skeptical.   i'm sure it's 4 the filming of an infomercial.   that's fine, but i'm very skeptical 'bout how they say they'll give us tix 4 a vacation to las vegas, hawaii, or uh... i 4get... they sed 4 days / 3 nites... :-/ like, there must be a catch!   why would they give us the choices of las vegas n' hawaii?   there's obviously a big diff in price there!!!   it must be that they'll give us some coupon good 4 travel to these destinations, but we'll hafta add in $$$.   i dunno! i'm skeptical, but we'll go check it out.   we'll get free fud neway.

figure 1: gyeiran gwaja; i like burdies.   i like chickens.

figure 2: this chicken's so proud to be korean.

c the figures 'bove?   a while 'go, on a grocery trip to pusan market, i saw this bag of cookies.   of course, i instantly fell in love w/ the packaging w/ the cute chicken.   :-) however, the bag co$t $1.49 n' wasn't on sale, so i pretty much surrendered ne ideas of buying it. :-( budgeting, u know? :-/   later, kaela snuck the bag of cookies into our shopping cart, so we did end up buying them.   ha ha! :-D   they taste similar to those chinese egg roll cookies that come in the square tins.   above the chicken it sez, "nara sarang hwangyuhng sarang," love of the country, love of the environment.   wow, this chicken sure has some strong values, eh? what a politikal chicken!

well, shoot! i've gotta get back to werking on benomix4jip!   'member: please sign my gbook to reserve a copy 4 urself! :-D like, i am gonna give hyun a copy as sort'f a demo cd to c if bellagio would have ne interest in hiring me.   it will have lots'f korean gayo on it, yah.   however, i know not all of u like korean musik, n' this cd will have nonkorean songs, as i mentioned b4.   it'll be sort'f a companion soundtrack to this journal, so all my readers should have a copy! :-D

212a: well, i just burned my top secret benomix4jip v0.8 cd!!! woo hoo!   w/ this version, i am totally done w/ all the mixing! :-D all done! now, i just have to record some sound bites, stuff like "this is a benomix production" or "u r listening to benomix," etc. ahhhh, i feel sooooo good that i'm done w/ this projekt, or 'least the bulk of it.   i'd say i'm like 98% done.   ooh, besides recording sound bites, i also gotta make a cover! :-o now that'll be a challenge!   andy made a cover 4 benomix3jip, but not until after the fact.   i mean, i used an old drawing he made of me, but he actually designed a new cover 4 3jip as a art skool assignment.   however, it was a bit after the fact, so i just distributed the cd w/ the cover i sloppily designed.

well, lemme tell u 'bout the upcoming album: it sort'f has a theme in that it's a li'l more feminine.   there's quite a bit more female vocals, i guess.   i tried to put more songs that the beautiful kaela kang likes, n' well... she's a gurl, so well... it's sort'f a theme here.   i'm thinking of, 4 the cover, using the hanja/chinese character 4 woman as a bit of an icon.   i s'ppose u might call this album the "benogurl mix album," as the last 1 was "the gochuboy mix cd."   so... since the last album had "boy" n' this album has "gurl," i'm thinking i can't really use andy's design. :-/ i actually sort'f 4get what it looks like, but i 'member it was pretty cute. :-)   it had badtzmaru as han solo, or rather "hwang solo." :-)   i wonder if andy'd be willing to draw sumpthin' 4 me. <:-( i really realise it'd be quite a task!   i'm sort'f scared to ask.   maybe he can draw sumpthin' else star wars related... like a cutesy anime leia or amidala. :-)   that'd be neat. [a li'l later, 230a] well i just e.mailed andy.   we'll c if he has time.

ah, i'm just so hyped that i finished the mixing!   well, the cd finished burning right when kaela went to bed, so i couldn't really share the good news w/ her. :-(   i guess 2morrow morn, i'll tell her.   i wish she could listen to it tho'. :-/

well, ppl! seriously, i'd like to give u copies of the final produkt when i'm done!   please let me know how i can get it to u. :-)   if necessary, please e.mail me ur mailing addresses!

what a day! what a day! i went thru all sorts'f emotions i tell u! aaugh. it was crazy!   i stayed home pretty much all day!   after i dropped kaela off n' went to the bank, i just stayed home!   that made me feel sort'f depressed.   it was such a sunshiney day outside!   @ times, i was frustrated.   @ times, i was stressed.   ugh, often i was depressed. :-( like, @ times when i felt the album wasn't getting newhere, i just felt like such a loser!   like, i'm not @ werk... i'm not in grad skool...   i'm trying to make a remix album, but it felt like i couldn't even do that!   i felt so helpless n' lame... in all sorts of meanings of the term. *sigh* then kaela came home from studying, n' she was all stressed out over wedding stuff.   i saw that she had been playing w/ her hair, so i knew she was all stressed.   argh.   u know, i know her maid of honour is helping her plan lots'f stuff, but i really don't like thinking how the way she keeps telling us to be on her skedule is stressing kaela out so much.   grr! it's 1 of those situations i just can't do nething 'bout, u know?   i was so upset 4 a li'l while in the evening.   then i cooked dalk ddongjip (chicken gizzards) 4 dinner.   we watched some tv.   i werked more on the album thru.out the evening, watching some tv here n' there.   neway, even tho' i was pretty frustrated n' upset in the early evening, i got out of it.   i appreciate that kaela cheered me up when i got upset.

man, benomix4jip, 'least v0.8, has 42 tracks!   yah, on this album, i really "tightened up" my mixes.   i guess, lots'f ppl judge a dj's skill by how well he can quickly mix from song to song to song, so i'm glad yoon sabuhmnim asked me to make the wutc soundtrack mix have only 1 min per track. ha.   like, i guess i always had the potential to mix quicker, but i never pushed myself like this until yoon sabuhmnim made that stipulation 4 the soundtrack.   i'm glad he did.   really, there r 2 recent influences that sort'f pushed me to improve my djing: 1) the wutc soundtrack n' 2) when hyun originally sed there was an opening 4 a dj @ bellagio.   well, apparently, i need to lengthen the wutc soundtrack now.   from the practices, it looks like the soundtrack is a li'l 2 short. :-/ or else the demo is a li'l 2 long! ha ha.   i guess we do have a time limit, eh?   i made it approximately 15 mins, as i was told.

[later] 432a: oh yah! kaela revealed sumpthin' to me 2nite.   it pertains to my journal entry from yesterday, "nara sarang haneun dalk," 2002.04.24.   so apparently she put that bag of cookies into our cart b4 i saw the bag on the shelf n' decided it didn't fit into our budget.   she snuck it into the cart b4 i knew the produkt existed; then she pted the bag on the shelf out to me.   i dunno why.   i guess she knew i'd be so ecstatic 'bout cing that chicken.

318a: i'm so sleepy.   i'm waiting 4 the h2o heater to recharge, so i can take a shower.   u know what i mean, right?   the beautiful kaela kang just took a shower, n' 1 shower basically wipes out the entire hot h2o supply of our apt unit, so i gotta wait 4 the tank to refill w/ hot h2o.   well, i'm so sleepy!   yah, i haven't posted in a while.   i guess i'm bizzy getting my cd ready to distribute... well, that n' other things.

"i think the future of computers is invoice a man when an ways recognition." that was what resulted when i was playing w/ winxp's voice recognition stuff on thurs. ha ha.   can u tell what i was trying to say? :-) funny.   well, i hooked up a microphone to my soundcard cos i was recording those soundbites 4 my cd.   'member? i mentioned that a while 'go.   *sigh* neway, i just fooled 'round w/ the voice recognition software.

well, fri, which was teknically yesterday but feels like 2day, what did i do?   well, uh... lessee... should i start on thurs afternoon or so?   well, thurs evening, i went to taekwondo practice.   after that, i picked up kaela from the library, n' we took raymond w/ us to pusan market.   our combined total was almost $100! d.oh!   u c, if u buy 'least $100 of groceries, u get to pick a thank u gift from the left shelf, which has nicer presents than the right shelf, which u get gift from if u spend over $50.   well, we did get a present from the right side shelf, a disposable air freshner can thingy.   we bought lots'f groceries.   fri morn, i woke up pretty groggily.   i drove kaela to class n' came home to do some stuff 4 my cd.   then i met kaela 4 lunch.   we ate @ high tech burrito on shattuck by blockbuster.   i had a low fat burrito, n' kaela had a cajun prawn burrito.   i asked 4 their nuclear salsa.   i hadn't been to high tech burrito in a long time.   after lunch, we went to blockbuster n' rented american pie 2 n' spygames.   yah, we still rent vhs. :-/   then i picked up toby from home n' drove to the rsf.   kaela went to werk, n' toby n' i practiced taekwondo.   well, i sort'f tutored toby.   i felt bad after a while cos i realised that i wasn't used to werking w/ white belts so much as of late, so i was trying to fix 2 many things w/ toby, u know?   like, i need to realise, like, just how much white belts usually know n' can do after a short amt of training.   well, i really think 'bout martial arts instruction n' how to be a better instructor.   definitely, i think of kevin stefanek as a bit of a role model in that area.   he studied sports psychology @ boise state, n' i think he really knows what he's talkin 'bout when he talks 'bout these things.   i like what he has to say.   neway, toby n' i practiced 4 'bout 3 hrs! pretty kewl.   after that i went home, helped kaela a li'l as she made japchae 4 the demo team potluck.   we got to the demo team potluck pretty late.   i played some video games w/ some ppl on the n64: conker's bad fur day, quake ii, n' perfect dark.   ah, video games... i really don't play video or 'puter games much, but eh! sometimes it's fun to relive my young boyhood days, i guess. ha ha.   i used to play video n' 'puter games 'lot back then!   after watching the space coyote episode of the simpsons, "el viaje misterioso de nuestro homer," 1 of my favourite episodes; we watched spygames.   that was a neat movie, altho' a bit confusing @ times.   *sigh* does that mean i'm just not that bright? <:-( well, please give me a break; there was lots'f talking n' background noise, so i didn't hear all the dialogue. :-)

i'm so sleepy right now! :-( a coupl'f nites 'go... :-/ was it wed nite? whenver, i got to c 1 episode of the simpsons i really like, "the curse of the flying hellfish." my favourite line from that episode? "ja ja ja, mach schnell mit der art things, huh? i must get back to dancecentrum in struttgart in time to see kraftwerk." ha ha :-D i actually 'member the 80s tekno group kraftwerk! ha ha. ah, n' 2nite's episode had "the merciless peppers of quetzlzacatenango"! :-)

420a: ah, i feel so much better after taking a shower.   oh yah, my gre/gmat/lsat software come in the mail 2day. :-) oh! by "2day," i mean fri, which was actually yesterday, i guess.

1125a: still in bed, warm.   how is it outside?   looks brisk.   it was s'pposed to rain 2day, but it looks a li'l unlikely right now.   right now on kqed.fm, it's a prairie home companion.   earlier, when i just woke up, i looked out of the bedroom window n' saw the hazy sky.   it felt good to live in berkeley.   4 a sec, i imagined living on a foggy sf hill or foggy daly city hill, cing clouds drift by.   city life is ok.

i had a dream this morn.   involved a korean japanese restaurant, an old, old berkeley apt bldg, n' the beautiful kaela kang big, stuffed mashimaro.

yesterday, kaela n' i went to a presentation 4 royal prestige cookware @ the weston hotel in millbrae.   the hotel surprised me; nicer than i expected.   neway, i dropped a huge load of $$$ 4 cookware, dishware, crystal, n' silverware.   crazy!   however, the deal came w/ a free vacation package in the bahamas.   we also got another vacation package just 4 watching the presentation.   the cookware should be good.   altho' it looks a li'l geeky w/ its lack of curves, its materials n' mechanical design impressed me.   it's s'pposed to help us cook healthier, as i guess most advertised cookware's s'pposed to, eh?   i think we got a decent deal.   *sigh* someday, we'll need a house... someday.

after the purchase, we hurried back to berkeley cos i had to lead taekwondo demo team practice.   we stopped by a wendy's hamburgers 4 a quick lunch.   demo practice sort'f frustrated me cos so many ppl ditched. >:-(   afterwards, kaela picked me up.   we did laundry, ate dinner, n' watched american pie 2 on video.   d'oh! i gotta return that video right now!

[later] 952p: wow, i sure don't get to update my journal like i used to, eh?   weird, huh?   where does all my time go?   why am i sleepy right now?   i don't get it!!!   it's as if it were winter right now n' my body wanted to hibernate! >:-( grr! i need energy!   u c, this is why i wondered if it's true that our current methods of cooking n' current cookware is draining our fud of vitamins, as those cookware pushers suggested!   maybe all my essential vitamins n' minerals r being cooked away!   ooh, i haven't eaten my vitamin 4 2day!

well, after i returned the video, i took kaela to dimsum @ the pacific east seafud restaurant @ the richmond 99 mall.   when i went in to get a number 4 a table, while kaela parked her car, i noticed a group of gurls i knew from my intervarsity christian fellowship days.   well, i noticed 2 of them n' recognised them, but i didn't look 'gain n' didn't say hi.   *shrug* sometimes i'm just antisocial.   i didn't know if they'd 'member me neway.   well, kaela n' i had a reasonable sized lunch.   i'm glad we didn't go overboard.   sometimes when i take kaela to dimsum or sushi, her eyes r bigger than her stomach n' then we order way 2 much! :-(   i tipped 10% 4 our lunch, but it cmed like i was undertipping.   oh well, u think?   it's just lunch! it's s'pposed to be 10%, right?   well, after eating, we looked @ the bookstore/giftstore.   they were playing boa.   my cd has a few boa songs.   well, i really hope to start passing out my cd soon, but i'm waiting 4 the cover.   andy sed he'd help me make the cover.   after looking @ cute, fuzzy things @ the gift/bookstore, we hurried home cos i thought i had to be in san leandro 4 a mtg/practice 4 the smithsonian martial arts demo group.   doug kim called me, while we were driving home.   upes, the mtg/practice was @ 500p, not 400p!   oh well, that was good.   i had more time to digest etc.

well, i quickly drove to the practice.   i was running late n' got confused by the address numbering on lewelling in san leandro.   well, doug called me, n' i told him i was confused, n' he helped me.   the o mei martial arts skool is a nice private skool.   we practiced n' met there.   this morn, when i came back from blockbuster, i sort'f hurt my knee running up the stairs @ our apt.   upes!   so i didn't feel like i was per4ming @ 100% 2nite.   after practice, i hurried home to watch the simpsons.   kaela cooked ggonchi jjigae.   we ate that n' some leftovers.

well, i'm really looking 4ward to distributing my cds.   i hope to make a trip 1 of these days n' drop off copies of my cds w/ friends all 'round the bay area, be sort'f like santa claus! ha ha ha :-D when? *shrug* it's just sort'f a promotion thing, promoting my dj biz, i guess. *shrug*

the prairie home companion: i'm sure i've mentioned this b4.   when i was younger... like, in my adolescence, my dad'd come by my mom's house n' pick me up 4 lunch or brunch on sun, sometimes, n' he'd listen to kqed.fm, so i'd hear a prairie home companion w/ garrison keillor in those days.   i guess, if we left early 'nuff, i'd hear car talk, the radio talkshow that talks 'bout fixing cars.   kaela wondered who goes to the studio audience of a prairie home companion.   well, just now, while looking @ their webpage, i realised that they're recording in new york city, not in minnesota.   i guess it's new yorkers then. *shrug* (so i guess the show's not as authentic as kaela thought it was.)   crazy! crazy! crazy! man! i can't believe i've turned into such an npr freak! i think a new favourite of mine will be pacific time, a news program 'bout asian.american issues! :-)

1130p: d.oh! ha ha ha! i just saw carol's gbook entry! ha ha ha :-D so she was w/ that group of "intervarsity ppl" i saw @ dimsum! ha ha. oh, ok!   i guess i should've sed hi cos, even if the iv ppl didn't 'member me, i'm sure carol would have cos i've talked to her more recently than them.   shoot! maybe it wasn't a group of old iv ppl.   i just recognised 2 of them.   1, i know. the other? :-/ *shrug* sorry, i recognised her face, but i don't 'member who she is.   maybe i didn't know her from iv @ all! ha ha. *sigh* funny funny.   neway, carol! if i had cn u, i would've gone over to say hi.   i didn't know u were there.   i did 'member that i overheard that some1's getting married.   i have no clue who it is.   maybe it's carol? *shrug* neway, carol, thanks 4 signing my gbook! thanks also to shelagh mckenna.   well, every1 else? why not go sign it now?

[later] 1158p: o i c, a prairie home companion is usually recorded in minnesota, but it goes on tour! oh.

141p: i'm home.   i haven't left the apt all day so far.   it's mon.   these days, i think mons can really bring me down.   why? cos i'm not @ werk. :-( [later] 234p: so mon's r sort'f depressing. :-( [a li'l later] 252p: so last nite, i started studying 4 the gre.   i stayed up till almost 500a, i think.   the beautiful kaela kang stayed up all nite werking on some skoolwerk.   she was in our bedroom on her 'puter, while i was in the living room on mine.   i took a diagnostic gre test but didn't do so well. :-( *sigh* i feel sort'f uh... well, in despair? ??? :-/ it cms like "desperate" isn't the right wurd, but "in despair" cms to werk. *shrug* i dunno...   like, i guess i feel a li'l hopeless, but i know better than to give up hope.   u c, really! i feel i'll never get respekt in this world if i don't go to grad skool! :-( seriously! i feel my family won't respekt me.   i feel many of my friends won't respekt me.   i feel my employers won't respekt me... the list just goes on n' on! :-( i really feel i've gotta go to grad skool.   still, in order to even think 'bout applying 4 grad skool, i've gotta have a decent gre score, n' u know what? :-/ i really need to spend time studying 4 this exam.   :-( really! when i was werking full.time, i couldn't find this kind'f time/energy/motivation to study.   it was way 2 hard!   after all, shoot! i could dump all my time/energy/motivation into werk n' get paid decent buck$ or... uh, well... there really wasn't ne other choice. :-( well, i guess i'm starting out by studying @ home, using this kaplan gre software.   it's really depressing tho'.   i just sit behind a 'puter screen all by myself! :-( i feel like such a hermit, n' i feel so trapped indoors!   i don't like that.   i s'ppose if i had a laptop, i could go outside, but pssh! like, i'd go out n' buy a laptop just 4 this! (why do i sound so cynical? that's not good. i don't wanna be cynical!)   so well... my main pt is that well... i feel i'll never live a respektable life unless i go to grad skool, but in order to even think 'bout applying to grad skool, i must live an extremely unrespektable life 4 a short while.   u get it?   ppl'll think i'm a bum! ppl'll think i'm a loser.   all i do all day is sit behind a 'puter screen @ home. yah, i know! however, *sigh* it's s'pposedly 4 some greater good. ... :-( i just wish i had more morale in this all! :-( c? i'm really feeling depressed.

i'm feeling really bleak (right wurd?) right now. :-( like... if i don't go to grad skool, no1'll ever respekt me.   if i try to go to grad skool, ppl'll really not respekt me right now... n' even when i go to grad skool, i'll prob'ly be older than 'lott'f the other students, so i'll still feel like i'm not quite that great of a person. :-( in a way, that's a no win situation!   i feel such doom. :-( u know, kaela sed, when she started grad skool, she was surprised to find that so many of the students were much older.   i seriously fear it's not like that in engineering grad skool.   i'm sure most of these students r kids that went straight from undergrad to grad. ... so i should apply to publik health grad skool! ha ha ha. X-D no way!   that is very much not my thing.   it's kaela's thing, not mine!   i eat fud that falls on the ground, raw meat... i'm doing everything that publik health ppl don't want me to do! ha ha ha. just kidding. 'least i don't smoke!   n' i wear my seatbelt in the car! :-)   i try to eat healthily... as in, i try to eat less red meat n' more veggies... much to jerome's dismay! :-D *sigh* well, i'm just trying to live.   i'm just trying to live a decent life. <:-(

u know, 2day is the 10 yr anniversary of "sa i goo," "429," the l.a. riots after the rodney king trial verdict, the riots that trashed much of the neighbourhood of l.a. where lots'f koreans own biznesses.   didju know that there was a riot on telegraph ave. in berkeley? that the current rasputin's records location used to be a miller's outpost that got destroyed during the riot?   my sister told me that.   she also told me that there was an uproar 'bout the korean liquor store on durant when an african.american gurl accused the store of mistreating her somehow.   neway, "sa i goo" is a pretty sad event to hafta 'member, but it's really important to asian.american history, n' ppl should discuss it.

joon: thanks 4 signing my gbook.   u know, u r always welcomed here! :-) well, i tried to dl those mp3s u told me 'bout, joon; but they wouldn't go.   i guess 2 many ppl r trying to dl them right now.   i'll try 'em 'gain some other time.

so andy sez my cd cover'll be done soon. :-) *big smile* that's kewl.   uhm, i still hafta make the back cover, i believe.   do i have pagemaker?   *shrug* do i have a current version of pagemaker? *big shrug* hrm... i really should get crackin' on that!   i'm pretty sure andy's leaving the back cover to me.   if so, then i should get all the cd cases ready w/ back covers.   then as soon as he gives me the front cover, i can print those out n' pass 'em out! :-) *big smile*

the whole cd thing, i like that.   i'm glad i made the cd, n' yah, i wanna pass 'em out.   life, life, life.   what am i doing w/ my life? :-/ i wish i could go to the rsf n' exercise a li'l.   still, i gotta study 4 the gre.   ok, i'm gonna stop writing n' study 4 a while.   ttyl!

1248a: sometimes i think i'm just betting on a better 2morrow, that i'm gambling w/ my life, taking risks, but there's just no other choice.   is that a depressing thought?   or is it a hopeful thought?   i hope the payoff'll be big.   but things might not turn out so great. *shrug* "hoping 4 the best, but expecting the worst..." that's what the alphaville song "forever young" sez.   :-/ in someways, i think i'm @ 'nother set of crossroads. uhm, that's a cheesy britney spears movie, isn't it? :-D well, since no1 saw it, how can we be sure it's cheesy? ha ha. no, i don't mean to diss the movie, but well... did ne of u c it???   i tell myself to have faith.   i tell myself to have patience.   i tell myself to have to have restraint n' discipline.   right now, i just have so much anxiety. :-( where's that confidence? confidence in what?   do i have confidence in myself? :-/ well, even if i have confidence in myself, i just don't think i'm in a good situation.   what if i'm a very capable man, but i'm just in a very hard situation? u should go check out the superman foto on david kim's website b4 he changes it! :-) what a kewl pic.   i wish i were superman.

123a: what am i doing wasting time w/ this 0.25 life crisis moment?! i should be off designing the back cover 4 my cd! c.mon! go n' get 'em, tiger!

135a: i'm glad 1 anonymous reader is questioning if "getting respekt" is a good reason to go to grad skool.   well... heh, it really isn't!   but i feel really cornered. <:-( yah, keeping up w/ the joneses. that's such a bad thing, such a bad syndrome! <:-( however, i really feel pushed into a tight corner. :-(   however, as i started writing this journal @ 1248a 2day, b4 i read the anonymous (or actually not anonymous but private) gbook entry, i knew i had some doubts in my mind w/ this path, w/ this reasoning, w/ this system, w/ this logik. :-/ i discussed the whole grad skool thing w/ the beautiful kaela kang less than an hr 'go, maybe 0.5 an hr 'go.   she reminded me that right now's the worst time to apply to grad skool cos every1's applying to grad skool cos they're all out of werk. *sigh* true, true.   i've sed so myself, yes, true true.   am i up 4 this kind of challenge, or am i just gonna get my butt kicked n' get totally thrashed n' totally maimed n' totally ripped 'part? "i am... i am... i am superman, n' i can do nething," sez the r.e.m. song "superman."   is that a cover of an older version? *shrug* 'member the iron giant in the iron giant sed he wanted to be superman.

u know, the whole grad skool thing... well, as i was studying 2day, i knew 4 me, it's not 'bout $$$, not 1 bit!   as i went off into the werking world in 1998, in the middle of the great, great teknoboom, i believed a person could make it big w/o an advanced degree... 'specially an engineer.   well, depending on what "make it big" means to u (heh), maybe that's still true.   really, i guess there r engineers who can have decent jobs, earn $$$, raise families, send kids off to skool (college), n' yet never had an advanced degree. *shrug* isn't that all i want in life? to have a good marriage, some good kids, n' time to watch them grow up?   the thought sort'f brings tears to my eyes.   man, u kids born in the mid70s! what a bunch'f flowery wimps! tears to ur eyes?!   "i eat $#!+ like u 4 breakfast!" :-D that's a line from adam sandler's happy gilmore. that particular exchange of wurds is very funny! :-D

well, this turn of the century, 0.25 life crisis moment is brought to u in part by the good folks @ buy.com. buy.com: if u can't find it there... then u should go buy it @ some other internet store that'll give beno a kickback 4 ur buying stuff thru his links! ha ha ha... :-D

154a: *sigh* so earlier 2day my sister sent me an e.mail w/ some links to articles that warn that royal prestige the comopany that sold us the cookware on sat was involved in some shady marketing a while 'go.   well, i read the articles.   they didn't use ne of the marketing that was described in the articles, but well... it's true that the stuff wasn't exactly really cheap. :-( like, to me, from their material n' mechanical design, it cms like really sturdy n' well.designed stuff.   however, yah... i was hoping it would've been cheaper. :-(

when did that orchid bloom on my desk?   was it on sat? was it on sun?   i saw the bud, the closed flower.   i watched it grow.   i saw it was still closed in the morn.   then in the afternoon, i sat down @ my desk 'gain n' saw it had opened into such a beautiful flower.   ah, nature's beauty!

a while 'go nelson sent me 4warded me an e.mail w/ pics of some nasty parodies of beanie babies. yuck! all these weenie baby animals had uh... weenies. yuck yuck yuck! sure, maybe a li'l funny, but ugh! yuck! well, it's not that weenies r disgusting; every man has 1.   however, these parody stuffed animals were just really disturbing to me. heh.

[later] 420p: man! i am sooo pissed!!!   i was in the middle of writing a long, long review 4 dine.com, n' my ms internet explorer crashed n' lost my text! grrr! >:-< grrr!!!! winxp caused my cd burner to make a coaster 2day. >:-(

man... wouldn't it be great to be a professional restaurant reviewer?   i'd like that! :-) why is it so easy to have an unproduktive day?   what constitutes a produktive day? *shrug*

may day, may day.   2day is whatchu call "may day," right? the 1st day of may?   "am i right? am i wrong? or am i just dreaming?" heh, i haven't thought 'bout that erasure song ("am i right?") in a while.   speaking of british, not.so.straight, europop groups; i c the pet shop boys r coming 4 a concert @ the warfield in sf on june 8.   well, i like the pet shop boys, but i won't go to the concert.   not that i'm homophobic but cos'f my sister's baby shower n' the fact that i just don't shell out the big buck$ 4 concerts like i used to.   well, what's been up w/ me?   i don't think i've been updating as often as i could, but eh! isn't that a good thing?   u don't wanna c me addicted to updating my journal, do u?   i don't think u do.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i have this running joke 'bout "do you???".   it's from some simpsons line, the poochie episode, "the itchy & scratchy & poochie show" (4f12).   we also say that line n' turn it into a pun regarding dooyoo (korean soybean milk).   yesterday afternoon, i asked kaela sumpthin' like, "how come we have such a comical life?"   well, heh! of course, it was a rhetorical question, but yah... we just say the most ridiculous things sometimes.   we're really silly, but i like it.   i guess our personalities r just like that, n' that's a big part of why we get along so well. :-)

well, what have i been up to? *shrug* yesterday, i went to walgreen's in the morn.   i bought some "feminine produkts" 4 kaela.   i guess she thinks it's fun to make me go out n' buy those things.   i saw a coupl'f pizza stones on sale there.   do those things actually make ur pizza taste better?   *shrug*   4 lunch yesterday, we went out to the 99 ranch mall n' had pho.   u know, we did that a week 'go 2.   i think i didn't get a chance to mention it last week.   after eating, we bought some buns from shengkee.   we did that last week 2.   in the afternoon, what did i do?   *shrug* i know i didn't nap.   i guess that's good.   i designed a back cover 4 benomix4jip.   andy's s'pposed to give me a front cover 2day... or 'least artwerk. dunno.   kaela ran into him yesterday, n' he mentioned that he hadn't started on it, or 'least he gave kaela the impression that he hadn't started on it.   i went to a wutc (world university taekwondo championships) committee head mtg in the ucmap (university of california martial arts program) office @ 600p.   i had to park my car underground @ the rsf meters.   i moved it after the mtg.   it took a while to find a street parking space, but i eventually did.   ah, i 'membered how i always used to park on the street.   i'd always hafta look so long 4 a space.   when i was in skool, toby used to hook me up w/ some parking passes 4 the dwinelle lot now n' then.   that was kewl.   neway, taekwondo practice: it was pretty produktive, i guess, i.e. i felt i got a good werkout.   i feel a bit sore 2day.   this cold weather doesn't help my muscles.   after the combined ucmap wutc demo practice, we ate some pizza that yoon sabuhmnim had me order from west coast pizza.   i ordered 5 pizzas.   @ 1st it looked like 2 much, but in the end it was 'bout right.   i put my mix on the stereo, n' ppl mentioned they liked it, so that was kewl.   i told 'em i could give 'em copies next week.   uhm, i sure hope i can! :-/   after pizza, i picked up kaela from the biosciences library, dropped raymond off, n' went home.   i didn't stay up 2 late. (hrm, didn't i use to write "2 late" as 1 wurd, "2late"?   i 4get; however the cure spells it 4 their song of that name.)

2day, i dropped kaela off @ skool, came home, walked to the mailbox, dropped off some mail, n' went home.   then a li'l later, i drove back out to downtown berkeley n' had arinell new york style pizza w/ kaela.   we each had a slice of neopolitan anchovy pizza n' shared a large coke, which wasn't very large.   i actually prefer chicago pizza, n' i think kaela does 2.   however, we always hear that arinell's is so great.   i had it 1nce a long time 'go, but u know what? i think that time i had the sicilian pizza, which is a thick crust pizza.   arinell's famous specialty is their thin crust pizza, which is their neopolitan pizza.   it was greasy but pretty good.   *shrug* i'm not the best critic of ny pizza.   i just like the crust better on thick crust, chicago pizza.   oh well; ny pizza's easier to eat w/ ur hands than chicago pizza!   i dropped kaela off @ class then went to safway to buy a few groceries, mostly stuff to make smoothies w/ since we've got some rapidly browning bananas in our kitchen.   why do some bananas cm to go from green to brown n' skip yellow? :-(

life, life, life... what am i gonna do?!   well, in a coupl'f hrs, i believe i'm going to this bayer on.site job fair.   tim chen is gonna go w/ me, n' i'm s'pposedly gonna meet up w/ tiffany hsu who werks there, whom i knew from taekwondo n' just various parties, etc. here n' there.   she knows kaela from a phi o.   i recently 'membered that we always used to call tim "buttface."   even some parents'd call him buttface.   funny, huh?   the story is that he was @ some overnite church get2gether or sumpthin': he stuck his head out of his sleeping bag n' some1 mistook his face 4 a butt n' asked "whose butt is that?" or sumpthin'? how did that happen? *shrug* i'm sure whoever sed it didn't have the best vision, u know?   ah, there's a piece of folklore 4 u!   i wish i had turn that in to the uc berkeley folklore archive.   i didn't, did i?   i don't think i did, but i should've!

yesterday, kaela signed my gbook. :-) thank u.   well, is it time to change my gbook questions?   just 'bout, eh?   well, pretty soon.   i'll add that to my list of things to do! :-)

[a li'l later] 242p: i submitted a review to dine.com 4 arinell pizza.   here's an excerpt:

personally, i'm much, much more into chicago style pizza than new york pizza, so i'm not the best critic 4 this hole.in.the.wall joint that is s'pposed to be sooo authentic.   it's neat.   it really is a hole.in.the.wall joint.   there's a story some friends of mine tell: our friend goes in n' orders a slice.   they give him a slice.   then he asks if he can get it to go.   the server replies, "you got your pizza?"   he replies, "yah."   the server then sez, "then go!" heh! n' my friends say it's great that this place has authentic new york style service!

no time 4 full paragraphs or even complete sentences.   outline.

• went to bayer "on.site job fair"
  • picked up tim chen n' went
  • didn't meet up w/ tiffany hsu, 2 late
  • had quick interview
  • sounds good but we'll c
• went to pusan market
• cooked dduhkbokki n' golbaengi moochim
• ate n' watched enterprise
  it's ok 4 me to be so into star trek, right? :-/
• went over to jerome n' andy's
  • andy drew a cute front cover 4 benomix4jip.
  • i talked on the fon to nelson n' toby.
  • the cover's very cute! :-)
  • checked e.mail on handspring @ ~308a.
    • dr. lieu set mtg in his office 4 wutc badges committee in morn cos i sed i didn't need to werk.
    • my boss asked me to come in 4 werk.
    • d.oh!
    • rushed home

[later] 701p: i spent the day @werk.com.   yesterday n' 2day: life as normal.   i was @ pusan market in my career, engineering clothes.   it felt like "life as normal."

120a: in the early 90s, there was a british (i think) modrock / altrock group called the wedding present.   2day (meaning yesterday), the beautiful kaela kang n' i received our 1st official wedding present!!!! :-) it's from my cowerker rodney.   he gave us a traditional, japanese warrior's knife.   it's beautiful.   he told me it was a japanese tradition to give a young warrior a knife (a suicide knife, that is) as a u've.become.a.man present.   the end of the handle has an imprint of a burdy! :-) i like that! :-)   it's a really sturdy knife!   uh, i guess i hope i never hafta use it! :-/ however it looks really kewl!   i hope he knows i really appreciate it, n' kaela 2!

so 2day (meaning yesterday), i went in to werk.   4 2 days straight i mostly did it/is stuff.   thurs, i spent most of my time configuring laptops.   2day (meaning blah blah...), i mostly fiddled w/ werkstations.   thurs, i had taco bell 4 lunch, 2day (blah blah) i had mcyukyuk's.   2 much fastfud! X-O i got pretty frustrated w/ some of the stuff i had to do @werk.com 2day. *sigh* some things were just a mess, n' :-/... like, do u know how it feels when u know there's an easy way to fix ur prob but it requires a budget from the company, but they won't / can't give u $$$, so u just waste lots'f time trying to fix it another way, yet u know that u've gotta charge the company 4 the time ur wasting n' it'd be better spent on buying stuff, but *sigh* that's just the way it goes? u know that feeling?   well, i felt it. :-( of course, i don't mind werking n' getting paid... but then after a day like that, u just don't feel accomplished, u know?

man, i spent a while on the fon w/ joon last nite, talkin' 'bout his future in engineering.   i know he's stressed... i was an engineering undergrad b4.   honestly, in college, many peers who rn't engineering majors don't understand what it's like to be an engineering student. nope!   i wish he had some engineering classmates to find support from.   i know i did.   like, ed park, vince, supermike... n' hrm... many others... like, maybe lots'f my classmates weren't my best friends, but shoot! we studied 2gether, werked on projekts 2gether, n' it was ok to go out to dinner or lunch after finishing a big projekt or sumpthin', u know?   so far in my career, i've been pretty antisocial@werk.com.   in engineering skool? i started out pretty antisocial, but i tried to be more social later... n' by "social," i mean being social/friendly w/ my classmates not just undergrads of other majors.   i dunno why i had such an aversion to fellow engineering students in my early days of college.   maybe i felt they were competition.   yah, i'm sure i thought that.   n' then there was just plain resentment that some did better in class than me. :-/ n' that just made it worse.   u have ppl who do well in class, n' they werk 2gether, n' keep doing well in class; while u have antisocial, bitter students who don't wanna talk to their classmates; they werk by themselves, n' then they keep not doing so well in class. :-(   it's ok to open up a bit, u know?   then 'gain, me? i was never in asme or nething @ cal. :-(   like, when i was studying 4 the eit in bechtel library?   i saw students @ asme mtgs n' other engineer society mtgs.   they had mtgs in the conference rooms by the library.   no, i didn't participate in that stuff in college.   instead, i was @ church fellowships, w/ dorm friends, w/ ol' hi skool friends, n' @ taekwondo.   well, amongst all those groups there were some engineers.   @ church fellowships, i didn't c that many engineers, actually.   there were just sooo many dang mcb students! every1 was mcb!   ...or else they were in some social science or humanity major.   engineers? :-/ yah, not really many @ church...   'mongst hi skool friends? most of my hi skool friends were prob'ly mcb... or else computer science.   a few were in mech eng w/ me... like 2 others maybe? maybe 3 or 4, i 4get.   i didn't talk to them much tho'. :-/ u know? i think i was pretty bitter... cos i had so much pride, thinking i was sooo smart n' did sooo well in hi skool... yet i saw them doing better than me in college, n' i was bitter. :-(   yup yup yup, i guess that's how it was.   u know?   that really bugged me; how i did so well in hi skool but wasn't doing that hot in my early days of college! *sigh* i 'member that.   joon! u should listen up here!   yah, this was the kind'f discouragement i felt in my early days of college!   *sigh* it depressed me that college wasn't like hi skool... n' i felt no1 cared! i felt every1 was 'gainst me!   i believed my professors, tas, administrators, etc. all just wanted to punish me n' make my life hard. :-(   *sigh* well, eventually, i stopped believing that!   u can't succeed in college w/ those kinds'f beliefs!   nope... n' u gotta study w/ classmates.   just think 'bout all the classmates i studied w/, i wonder where they r now.   gifford wong, youngsam bae, kevin mcdonald, tim loew, aaron dickey... these guys! where r they now? i wonder what kind'f jobs they have now. *shrug* of course, i know where supermike is.   i c andrew cao n' tai huyen here n' there... like in the rsf... but i dunno if they're still in grad skool or what. *shrug* man, i 'member what it was like to study engineering.   u know, engineering, unlike some other majors... in engineering, u can't just "study."   u hafta do problems to understand the concepts.   engineering isn't just memorising stuff! no way! it's all application of theories etc.   i 'member what it was like to sit 4 a long time in an uncom4table, quiet room staring @ a problem or a textbook example totally not understanding how some theory/equation werked, not getting how to use some method of solving problems, etc.   ugh! n' then sometimes, it'd all the sudden hit me.   sometimes, it'd all'f the sudden hit my classmate / study partner, n' then he'd explain it to me... n' sometimes, we'd both be totally clueless n' frustrated n' eventually call it a nite.   in those cases, sometimes we got lucky n' 1 of us'd wake up in the middle of the nite w/ some big revelation n' share it w/ the other in the morn.   just think'f all the days where all i lived on was a semifreddi or grace baking co. baguette n' a 16 oz diet coke or diet pepsi.   sometimes etcheverry hall felt so cold! n' there'd be some annoying buzzing piercing ur ears thru the silence! *sigh* ah, the joys of being an engineering student, eh?

however, joon, u eventually graduate n' move on... or go back to grad skool. *shrug* still, man! i couldn't emphasize to joon enuf how much diff the werking world is from engineering college.   they r 2 diff worlds!   definitely, doing my werk co.op @ ebmud, really changed my perspective on engineering!

well, yesterday (as in thurs), i werked pretty late.   i missed practice!   i was pretty frustrated w/ the fact that i was missing the last official practice of the semester. *sigh* well, of course, next mon nite i'll be right back in the rsf 4 demo team practice... however, i just felt bad 'bout missing the last class of the semester.   i dunno how it was, but sometimes ppl clap as if it were the last lecture of the semester.   really, i dunno how it was last nite.   i know some taekwondo club members have been so disgruntled etc. this semester.   *sigh* me, i really wanna support yoon sabuhmnim.   he's a good guy, n' he's doing his best to run the taekwondo club.   this wutc (world university taekwondo championship)? it's really draining our resources.   *sigh* n' all the politikal probs? heh... did i not get enuf into that?   or did i just weasel out by saying i didn't wanna air durty laundry? ha ha.   *sigh*   well, last nite, i while skipping taekwondo class, after eating leftover dduhkbokki n' golbaengi, i werked on some diplomas/certificates 4 the wutc athletes.   they must look really nice n' professional; n' they must follow some fisu (la federation internationale du sport universite) guidlines.   dr. lieu sed we had a mtg @ 930p to discuss those matters, so i rushed over to the rsf @ 930p.   i got there right as ppl were leaving class.   apparently they had had open werkout.   i chatted w/ some ppl.   then joon called me.   i talked to him as i drove myself n' raymond over to andy n' jerome's.   i went there to c andy 'bout my cd cover art.   he had e.mailed me earlier that day, saying he wanted to revise it.   i talked to joon 4 a long time.   i've had some long conversations w/ some of my "guy friends" lately.   later last nite, i talked to ken.   that was after i got home from jerome n' andy's w/ the final b&w version of my front cover.   andy's still werkin' on a colour version 4 a "limited edition" release of my album. :-) i'm planning to give out many cds.

laura n' roland came back from their korea trip 2day (meaning yesterday).   laura competed @ an int'l open tournament in korea n' got 1st place in poomsae n' 2nd place in gyuhroogi (sparring).   woohoo!   good job!   i haven't cn them yet.   u know, while they were gone, jerome sed he was bored n' suggested that he n' i go to noraebang.   we should've but didn't. :-( oh well.   i can't wait to talk to them, hear stories, n' c pictures! can't wait!

2morrow (as in 2day) is the end of the semester taekwondo shimsa, the promotional exams.   toby's testing 4 his yellow belt.   there r no red belts testing 4 black belts or black belts testing 4 higher dan black belts.   there rn't even red belts testing 4 their black stripe!   i hope the test goes fast.   i hope we hang out afterwards.   mike shea told me 'bout a taekwondo party @ a blue belt guy's house n' asked if i wanna dj it.   :-/ well, i bet kaela's gonna need to study, so i don't think like all out partying's an option.   maybe a small group of us can just, like, do dinner. *shrug* sun nite is the end of the yr ucmap awards banquet.   ah, that'll be kewl. :-)

2nite (as in yesterday nite), i came home from werk pretty late n' frazzled.   kaela n' i watched a special bonus simpsons episode on ktvu fox2.   then i took her to dinner @ cha am thai restaurant.   man! we were so stuffed after that!   when we came home, i put 2gether some album covers.   i'll pass out a bunch'f cds 2morrow.   actually, i sent off 2 copies to hyun 2day.

[later] 235a: ah, i just took a shower.   it feels so good! ahhhh... :-) kaela fell asleep. i need a haircut.

[later] 837p: well, the taekwondo shimsa went by really easily.   no prob.   it was short due to the absence of ne black stripe or black belt tests. kewl.   i judged the yellow belts.   same w/ kaela.   after the grading, a bunch'f us black belts had a late lunch / early dinner @ raleigh's.   4 cinco de mayo, they were having a backyard bbq w/ fish n' carne asada tacos.   the tacos were pretty good.   i had a coupl'f mexican beers.   it was a relaxing time w/ black belts of all ages, from college age to middle age.   afterwards, a few of us walked 'round berkeley, snacked on some mrs. field's cookies n' got boba drinks.   then we went home.

[a li'l later] 854p: man, lately, i've been eating so much n' not gettin' 'nuff exercise! :-( i feel so frickin' bloated! :-( i don't like this feeling.   right now, kaela's taking a nap.   we're planning on just staying in 2nite cos she has'ta study.   me? should i study? maybe so.   @ 1st, i was considering going to blockbuster n' renting a movie or sumpthin'.   after all, i could rent n' watch a horror movie while she studies or sumpthin', right? *shrug* maybe i'll just study gre wurds.

[later] 1009p: since i felt so yucky, i took a shower. :-/ i didn't sweat 2day or nething... i just felt yucky, most likely cos i ate so much lately.   i'm weird, huh?   i'm kind'f bored.   the sixth sense is playing on abc right now.   funny, huh? ...since i sed it'd be kewl to rent a horror movie 2nite n' watch it while kaela studied.   well, kaela, she's asleep, i guess.   she's taking a nap.   toby told me he was gonna stop by to pick up his ucmap banquet ticket. *shrug* we'll c.

1213a: i'm not feeling all that great right now.   the fact that i stayed in all nite really annoys me, n' i feel all yucky! >:-( i hate when i feel like this, like i'm wasting my life just doing nothing.   i hate it!   it would've been a perfektly good sat nite to do fun stuff, but i just sat @ home.   i hate hate hate that feeling! i hate it! *sigh* sorry to rage like this...

1205a: well, it is a li'l past midnite, so uh... should i define what i mean by "2day," "yesterday," n' "2morrow"? let's call yesterday "2day." ha ha; makes no sense, eh? nope.   well, let's call sun "2day," while knowing the real 2day is mon, k? good.   well, 2nite was the ucmap (university of california martial arts program) annual awards banquet.   ah, it was sooo much fun, 'specially cos toby came this yr (since he was part of the taekwondo club) n' brought betty! ah, lemme tell u! that makes me sooo happy! :-D biiiiig smile!   i was very happy to have toby there w/ me!   i'm glad both toby n' phil have taken taekwondo w/ me.   it's 2 bad phil couldn't continue, but i really want toby to.   n' it'd be even kewler if betty were to start 2, but i know she has a hard werk skedule, etc.   we'll hafta c. :-)

well, late this morn, the beautiful kaela kang n' i woke up.   i ate some leftover dduhkbokki as sort'f a meal.   then in the early afternoon, i tagged 'long w/ toby as he did some shopping.   @ target, i bought a 99¢, small diet coke from the target snack bar.   the sign sed i was entitled to 1 free refill.   i filled up my cup, chugged it, n' promptly took my 1 free refill.   toby n' i hit the road n' went to pinole.   after he finished his shopping, he went to in.n.out burgers 4 lunch.   i didn't order nething but leached fries off of toby's 2x2 meal.   on his way out, he filled up his medium drink cup w/ diet coke n' let me have it.   i drank 2 much diet coke this afternoon! :-(

in the late afternoon, kaela n' i got ready 4 the banquet.   ken swung by my apt w/ grace.   we was going to do some biz w/ his parents' rental property in berkeley.   he dropped off some brochures on dish network dss in case i have ne friends who want it, n' i gave him a few copies of my cd.

raymond drove us to the banquet, held @ vip yuhngbingwan, the same place as last yr. we got there pretty early, altho' i guess raymond was s'pposed to be there earlier cos he was bringing the beer that we sold as a fundraiser @ the banquet.   well, i did my part w/ that fundraiser, bought 1 round 4 kaela n' me, n' 'nother 4 eric (johnson), toby, n' me.   we didn't have skits this yr, unlike other yrs.   instead, these guys, the flying calamari brothers, did a comedy/magik act.   they were more comedy than magik, i think.   they were pretty entertaining to me.   some ppl were really disgruntled 'bout not doing skits, but i just sat back, relaxed, n' enjoyed the show.   we had plenty of fud.   i feel like such a pig.   we had the usual kimchi n' namool dishes, bulgogi, kkangpoonggi, saewoo twigim, some snowpea n' asparagus w/ hotdog slices (which i called peasie weenie, instead of beanie weenie), goon mandoo, kimbap, n' prob'ly some other stuff.   [added later: oh yah, there was some bok choy.]   i was soo full!   i was pretty hungry when we got our fud, as our table, #4, was the absolute last to get called to go get fud.   i pigged out, ate 2 fast.   ugh, i can't believe i've been eating so much lately.   i'm like a bear trying to fatten up 4 winter hibernation; but i'm not a bear, n' we're well into spring!!! *sigh* :-(   dr. min gave me an appreciation award n' sed that the taekwondo demo team is the most improved demo team in the past decade.   well... it's all thanks to my wonderful demo team members, i say! :-) they're great.   well, the nite progressed well.   we didn't hafta stay 2 long!   ah, i felt better.   i felt so much better than last nite, i tell u.   i felt really bad that i missed that party cos i found out so many ppl went.   i'm glad toby went n' met so many of the upper rank taekwondo ppl.   he even gave sung a ride home.   ah, it sounded like so much fun.

roland, who sat w/ us @ the banquet, gave me some musik cds from korea.   i can't wait to listen to them!   it's great to have roland n' laura back from korea.   sounds like they had a good time.   man... i really wish kaela n' i could go to korea soon. :-( well, we've gotta! really, there's absolutely no choice, we hafta.   we hafta go sometime soon!

last nite, in an e.mail, i was telling phil 'bout how my life is sort'f progressing but in all diff directions @ 1nce: well, life is sort'f progressing but in all sorts'f directions @ 1nce. i'm confused. i know lots'f things r just sort'f culminating after all sorts'f preparation, i s'ppose. *shrug* i dunno where life's gonna take me. in a way, it's stressful. in a way, it's exciting.   u know what i mean?   like, i'm sort'f finding leads to new jobs; i'm sort'f werking @ my old job; i'm sort'f getting ready to apply 4 grad skool; i am getting married... stuff like that.   oh! n' i finished benomix4jip n' am distributing it.   do u realise how much effort that took?   since i'm pretty experienced w/ djing, the actually mixing n' recording didn't take that much effort, but what took sooo much effort was getting my 'puter all set up 4 this recording!   like, think 'bout all i did to upgrade my 'puter! think 'bout how i ordered 100 blank jewel cases n' bought tons of free.after.rebate cdrs... everything! what 'bout when kaela gave me my soundblaster live platinum soundcard, n' when she gave me my new sony mdrv700dj headfon monitors?   upgrading my 'puter, now that was a task! think 'bout how long i spent on ebay n' y! auctions looking 4 a good deal on a big ultra160 hard drive.   putting 2gether my cpu, mobo, ram, new video card, new monitor... everything!   everything culminated in this remix album!   it all came 2gether.   well, nowadays, i know, it must cm like i never shut up 'bout it. :-/

141a: i took a shower n' stuff.   ah, i feel so much better after a shower, eh?   i guess part of this hast'a do w/ how my hairs been getting longer lately.   i don't like having gel in my longer hair 4 2 long.   'least, i don't like having 2 much gel in my longer hair 4 2 long.   i'm listening to 1 of the cds that roland gave me.   :-)   i wanna thank "rain" 4 signing my gbook.   well, i think it's 'bout time to redo the gbook questions.   also, i gotta *sigh* redo much of my webpage, don'tchu think? like, i need to write more 'bout my djing stuff... like put up a page 'bout benomix4jip.   i gotta make a wedding page.   stuff to do. [later] 158a: ok, i updated my gbook questions!   please go answer my new questions.   u know, i feel very bad that i never answer my own questions! :-(   ok, lemme try to answer some:

name: beno hwang
e.mail: beno@benomix.com
homepage url: http://www.benomix.com
describe ur philosophy: romanticist
describe ur primary fashion (i know this is frivolous... but just 4 fun): clubstyle
u own the following electronics: motorola cellfon, palm os handheld, digital satellite system
do u read the beno journal? i expect realtime updates on my wireless internet device.
what do u expect to accomplish in the next 3 yrs n' 5 months? i expect to get married, get some kind'f pet, n' either have a stable job or be in grad skool.   also, i expect to have my taekwondo 3dan.
what do u plan to do this weekend? i plan to go to toby's graduation, celebrate mutha's day, n' practice 4 the smithsonian institute martial arts demo gig.
additional comments: some of these questions sound really frivolous, as u sed, or else materialistic.   i'm sure ur readers'll complain 'bout that!

'member how i sed b4 that my left biceps kept twitching? well, now my right eyelid keeps twitching.   i don't like all this twitching!   lemme tell u: not all old episodes of taxi r sooo deep, u know?   there r plenty of episodes of taxi that r pretty shallow n' senseless. :-(

1224a: why r my calves sore?   they feel like i werked them out 'lot, but i know i didn't. *sigh* i need more exercise.   well, we had taekwondo demo team practice 2nite.   early in the practice, i had sumpthin' like no holds barred sparring, but well... i told ppl to be safe n' stuff.   it was pretty fun, i guess.   still, i didn't werkout that much 2nite.   i need more exercise.   i had a pretty shut.in day 2day.   i put cds 2gether n' packaged them 4 shipping.   in the late afternoon, i shipped them out @ the post office.   i snacked a li'l b4 practice.   after practice, i steamed some mandoo 4 dinner.   these i bought from 99 ranch.   i think they were more meant to be boiled.

[later] 1249a: this afternoon, i bought some cd cases from ebay cos i used up all my jewel cases on copies of benomix4jip.   grr! i can't believe i 4got to check the shipping charges 'gain. *roll eyes* some merchants r such evil scum! >:-(   putting 2gther cd cases (basically "packaging" my cds) is decently hard werk.   uh, well... uhm, i guess there r tasks i dread more, but i just wanna mention it ain't a total walk in the park, u know? ah, i'm just whining.   u know what's sort'f funny?   back on my last b.day (my 26th), my friends gave me a b.day card.   i accidentally left it in raymond's car when he drove the beautiful kaela kangn' me to the sjx airport from aqui to leave 4 cancun.   later, i asked him to give me my b.day card, but he sed he lost it.   well, on sun, when he drove us to the banquet, i found it! :-)   i just now got to read all my friends' msgs!   funny, huh? [later] 117a: oh yah, this afternoon, i started making a glossary 4 my journal, since i'm sure i use some terms n' benospellings that not all my readers comprehend. :-)   i haven't finished it yet; i just started it.   *sigh* man, i really gotta keep myself in check n' make sure i don't have 2 many unfinished projekts, u know?

man, while listening to the new cds roland brought back 4 me from korea, i can imagine hopping right into recording 'nother mix cd! :-) i wonder if andy'd be annoyed if i keep bugging him 4 cover art! :-) well, shoot! if i really do get my creative juices flowing so regularly, then i should take up that regular dj gig @ bellagio, eh? *shrug*

well, i keep thinking 'bout how my life... it cms to be developing in all diff directions @ 1nce. <:-/ it's sort'f a good thing, but well... 4 1 thing, it's still developing: like, i don't feel that i've reached a big goal right now... maybe small goals... but well, there r some bigger goals i want to reach in the near future, i guess.   obviously, i don't feel my career situation is stable...   will i be able to keep my current job? *shrug* if not, where will i werk?   i've had leads n' continue to find more li'l by li'l, but nuthin's certain.   will i go to grad skool?   well, i do plan to apply, but actually go? well, there's some factors yet to be determined, eh?   *sigh* well, 2day (as in the actual 2day) i've gotta go to werk.   i should get my butt to bed, eh?   i think the mandoo have digested now... or have they?   i avoid going to sleep w/ a full stomach, u know?

216a: argh! is it may 08 already?! *sigh* :-( i can't believe time's flying like this! <:-( 2day (as in yesterday), i went to werk 4 0.5 a day.   right now, i'm listening the beautiful, new pet shop boys album release which my bronx's junkyard forums colleague "balddog" (aka "uk-lude") sent me as a trade 4 a copy of benomix4jip.  i 1st heard this new album a coupl'f weeks 'go in the durant ave. tower records when i was there w/ the beautiful kaela kang after lunching @ coffee source.   this musik is beautiful! :-) i like it.   it's more uh... "analog" than older pet shop boys stuff, eh? :-) i think that's the big feature of this album.   i mean, it's not like grunge rock or nething... but u hear more piano n' guitar sounds... yah, digitally enhanced sounds, but well... more of a nontekno sound, right? right.   nuts, i didn't record in my journal which day it was that we lunched @ coffee source n' then browsed thru tower records! :-( i think it was 2 weeks 'go.

well, i'm glad that i've been hearing from some ol' friends lately.   that's kewl. :-) hey, uh... does ne1 wanna sign my gbook? :-) i dunno maybe these questions r lame. :-(   i haven't heard from toby since the ucmap awards banquet.   i guess he's bizzy rewriting his thesis. *shrug*

2nite, we had the combined ucmap demo team practice.   it was ok. :-/   there r things to improve w/ the taekwondo demo team's part, but well... u gotta give us a break as we r pretty bizzy, u know. :-/   *sigh* really, we've gotta be the hardest werking taekwondo demo team 'round here... i mean, shoot! not only do we do so many demos, but so many of us r bizzy either teaching or taking care of organisational / bureaucratic werk 4 the wutc. :-( well, personally, i'm proud of the demo team members 4 being such responsible martial artists. :-) after practice, i picked kaela up from home, n' we 168ed w/ johnny n' roland.   yah, i guess i miss the ol' days of having a big group @ 168... i mean, shoot! i'm sure they (meaning the 168 owners) miss the ol' days of having our big group @ 168! ha ha. *sigh* well, shoot! life is just diff, i guess! :-/ why did it cm like i had so much more $$$ back then? *shrug* why did it cm like $$$ just came easier back then? *shrug* oh well; as i sed, i just gotta keep telling myself to have patience n' faith!   i gotta resist the temptation to shell out $$$ on ebay to buy a targus handcam handspring module! :-) now's not the time 4 that!   maybe if sumpthin' good happens, that can be my reward to myself or sumpthin'. *shrug*

man, can u believe the barrage of graduations, burthdays n' mutha's day comin' up?!?!?! whew! crazy, huh? ha, 'member when i'd always use the term "noisy life"? 'member? that was a song title from the soundtrack to the japanese drama long vacation.   may is a bizzy month.   yah, i'll be grateful that i don't have finals. :-/ graduations graduations graduations! i can't go to graduations w/ all this shaggy hair, can i? :-(

308a: wow, i'm really wasting time late @ nite, eh?   *sigh* 2day, i hafta go to the bank to depo$it my paycheck.   what else?   i should do some gre studying, eh?   i've gotta package n' ship some benomix cds.

i'm listening to the pet shop boys cd 'gain.   some of this stuff sort'f reminds me of, uhm, radiohead or oasis.   it's not just cos these r british bands, is it?   do u think it sounds nething like radiohead or oasis?   u've gotta take a listen to it. :-) i'm so thirsty!   well, i know i won't go out n' buy a regionfree dvd player 2day, n' i won't go out n' buy myself a new pair of shoes. nope! ha ha. so what will i do 2day?   most likely i'll eat lunch.   most likely i'll eat dinner.   most likely, i'll watch the simpsons.   hopefully, i'll study.   i waste 2 much time writing this dang journal!

[later] 516a: :-( i'm still awake. :-( i shouldn't be, i know. :-(

[later] 510p: well, i woke up in the morning n' didn't nap since then.   when i went to bed, i heard burdies chirping.   i looked out the window n' realised that the sun was coming up.   am i not getting enuf sleep?   why did i have such awful insomnia last nite? *shrug* was it cos we 168ed, n' so i drank lots'f tea?   yah, maybe that's why. *shrug*   i received a long e.mail from johnny 'bout demo team early in the morn.   he addressed it to the whole team... sort'f a morale issue.   i responded to it right 'way, 'gain addressing the whole team.   i guess that was the last big thing i did b4 going to sleep.

2day, what have i done?   i woke up, drove kaela to class, came home, werked on some benomix cd stuff.   then kaela n' i had lunch w/ liane @ shk (sun hong kong).   then i went home, werked on more cd stuff, walked to longs drugs to buy some packaging tape, walked to the post office to wait 'round a long, long time to send off some benomix cds, walked to the bank to depo$it my paycheck, n' walked back home.   b4 i went on my li'l outing, i put on some sea&ski spf50 sunblock.   i like that sunblock cos it doesn't feel greasy.

i 4got to mention that yesterday, i went to office depot to buy some cheap after rebate cd.rs n' some padded envelopes 4 sending off my cds.   i saw this kewl wrist pad 4 mousing, the fellowes gel flex crystal wrist rest.   it not only feels really com4table, it looks so kewl cos it's like a big gummy uh... not a bear... uh... like a big gummy thingy! ha ha ha. neway, it co$t $7.99 or sumpthin', so i figured it's 2 expen$ive.   i'll just keep using my wallet as a wrist rest 4 now.

[later] 627p: i just watched the episode of the simpsons where bart n' milhouse run the comic book store when the comic book guy takes a break n' gets 2gether w/ agnes skinner. ha ha.   *sigh* these comic book episodes of the simpsons r funny, rn't they?   i think so.   :-) speaking of comics, i think 2day's boondocks n' foxtrot r both really funny!   both in a dark humour kind'f way, i guess.   hrm, i don't mean to be a cynic, but eh! yah, i find these jokes funny.   the boondocks strip comments on the sudden barrage of american patriotism we saw after 9.11.   the foxtrot strip makes fun of dell computers as being 4 nonteknikal folk, heh!   well, they're the #1 selling 'puters in 'merica, right?   nelson's telling me to watch/buy amd stock cos he heard that dell's talking to amd... if dell starts using amd chips in their 'puters; yah, amd'll make lots'f $$$.   can u believe episode 2 comes out next week?!   kaela n' i have yet to c spiderman.   uhm, we have yet to c lord of the rings!

uhm, yah... the preceding paragraph was brought to u in part by the good folk @ the android's dungeon. worst paragraph ever!

1133a: rn'tchu glad i'm not posting @ some insane hr of the nite? ha ha ha. however, i was up pretty late last nite. :-( i was up putting 2gether the beautiful kaela kang's new 'puter.   it took a long time, i guess.   i moved over all her hardware n' connected everything in her new case, put in the new ram, etc.   in the end, the thing wouldn't power up! >:-( grr! i switched out the power supply to check that.   nope, the prob wasn't the power supply! >:-/ is the mobo just plain busted?! what i hate is that the ppl who sold her the mobo, chip, n' case; they gluegunned the chip down to the mobo! >:-( grr! why?! that looks really sleazy to me! very shady! like, did they not sell her an amd athlon xp or what?! *sigh* sometimes 'puter stuff is so frustrating!   why won't it power up?!   i checked all the headers n' jumpers.   it's a 300w power supply, better than ne other power supply we have here. *shrug*   neway, late last nite, i got frustrated n' fed up n' just resigned to going to bed. :-(

yesterday evening, i picked kaela up from skool.   we drove to andronico's market to get dinner.   ah, andronico's!   it's such a nice grocery store / supermarket!   it reminds me of the ol' pw super in almaden valley, san jo, where i grew up!   *sigh* cing all the eclectic produce, all the li'l known varieties of cheeses, all the gourmet packaged fuds from small, independent companies, all the fancy deli dishes, all the healthy alternative fuds; it all reminded me of going to pw super as a kid n' how i took all that 4 granted! man! looking back, i feel i was so spoiled. :-( then awfully i started wondering, "i wonder if we'll be able to take our kids to nice supermarkets?" eh! what's the diff?! kids don't appreciate these things, right?   4 the most part, i took it 4 granted.   i guess 1 thing i liked, as a kid, 'bout going to pw super was it had new produkts (perhaps experimental produkts) b4 other supermarkets, u know?   n' i guess there was a better variety of snack produkts cos they had all these unknown, weird brands, right? *sigh* eh! i u should send me off live in a kommunist country 4 a while, then i'll really appreciate safeway n' never even think 'bout andronico's, right?   man! both places where i've werked recently, marin county n' presidio heights, have these fancy schmancy grocery stores.   in greenbrae, i have never gone into the molly stone's @ the bon air center, nope!

well, what did we eat 4 dinner last nite?   a packaged chinese chicken salad from the andronico's deli n' grace baking co. bread w/ spinach florentine dip.   we watched tv: the simpsons n' star trek enterprise.   enterprise really interested me, but then i passed out in the middle of the episode n' woke up drooling. :-( going so long w/o real sleep just totaly exhausted me n' got the best of me. :-(   i gave up n' took a nap in bed.   then kaela woke me up 4 the 1100p simpsons n' we ate 1 soy dreams li'l dreamers chocosandwiches each.   they r really tasty n' cute. :-)   after that, i set out to werk on kaela's puter.

what am i gonna do 2day?   well, kaela woke me up in the morn n' had me drive her to her swim class.   then i came home, got on the 'puter, ate a hoihoi (asian toaster pastry thingy), some spinach dip n' bread, n' 'nother soy dreams li'l dreamer.   now what? *shrug* i have so many things to do!   2morrow, i'll be going in to werk.com; not 2day.   u know 1 thing i'll admit i hafta do? buy some presents; i hafta buy some presents.   will i have time 2day?   i'd hope, but i never know, u know? <:-( i'm pondering what i should do 'bout kaela's 'puter: should i rebuild her old 'puter?   should i put 2gether a temporary system in her old case?   should i ask some1 to help me figure out what's the prob w/ her new mobo? :-(   we've had so many probs w/ that company that sold her her new 'puter! :-( it's always so sad to have a brand, spankin' new 'puter w/ such nice components but which won't power up!   it's such a waste!   u know what else i really need to do?   i need to make a real benomix webpage, as ppl'll might come to my site when i give 'em my cd, but they might be very disappointed w/ what they find here.   i don't have all that much info on my djing biz. :-(

1224p: i've gotta check my investments online, u know? make sure they're still there...

[later] 509p: i feel rotten.   i feel like i have bags under my eyes, but i dunno if i do. *shrug* i'm still really frustrated 'bout kaela's 'puter. >:-( i had lunch w/ kaela @ coffee source.   we shared a super combo that consisted of a large salad w/ honey poppy seed dressing n' an italian (italian and ham) sandwich on dutch crunch (altho' i originally asked 4 honey wheat but didn't mind dutch crunch).   after lunch, i went out to do a li'l shopping.   i just didn't know what to do.   as i sed, i have some presents to shop 4, but *sigh* i didn't find them.   i did, however, buy a cheap clearance cd wallet that fits 72 cds.   i don't want it 4 musik cds, no.   i want it to keep all my software cdroms in 1 place, so we don't end up losing them.   i feel so miserable cos our apt's such a pathetic, awful mess. :-( i don't like living like this.   this whole computer fiasco has made it worse cos there r 'puter parts everywhere. *sigh* i don't like living like this.   there r tons of dirty dishes in the sink.   there r bread crumbs on the living room rug.   it's awful!   this is no way to live! :-( 2day, b4 lunch, i tried to take out my spring clothes n' put 'way my winter clothes.   i didn't quite finish that task.   i should return to that task now. [a li'l later] 518p: upes! i was s'pposed to go put my winter clothes 'way, huh?   @ 600p, i've gotta be @ the rsf to practice 4 the smithsonian institute demos.   after that, there might be some wutc practice 4 me... just a li'l. *shrug* me, i feel awful.   i guess it's just cos i'm up 2 late these days. :-( i feel horrible; frustrated n' depressed... possibly even hopeless. :-( *sigh* well, 2morrow, i'll be @ werk.com.   maybe i'll be 2 bizzy to be depressed n' hopeless, u know?

[later] 1043p: since i felt so lousy n' lackluster b4 going to 600p taekwondo practice, i ate a korean ginseng capsule n' a chromium piccolinate pill.   did they help? *shrug* i felt a li'l better, i guess. *shrug* kaela n' i practiced 4 2.5 hrs straight: 1st 4 the smithsonian institute demos then 4 the wutc demo w/ the rest of the wutc demo crew, just the taekwondo part of the combined team.   after practice, kaela n' i ate @ yummy curry on shattuck.   i think it's owned by the korean family that owned flying maguro, the restaurant that previously occupied that space.   it was pretty good n' cheap, altho' i think the portions were a li'l small.   it's ok; we should eat less @ a time, but eat more small meals, if necessary.

i guess i sound pretty down n' depressing these days. :-( 1 thing that sort'f lifts my spirits is that i'm hearing that ppl r receving my cds in the mail.   kewl.   ppl on diff continents have benomix4jip.   that's kewl. :-)

*sigh* @ dinner, kaela looked @ me n' sed i had bags under my eyes.   just as i feared!

1133a: 2day's toby's graduation! :-) i'll go to several graduations this yr.   last yr, i didn't go to many, just the beautiful kaela kang's sister jeanna's art dept graduation.   i got there late cos i was doing a taekwondo demo 4 master royce's grant elementary skool students.   graduations r great cos they're pure celebration, like weddings.   i feel so much happiness n' joy.   sure, sometimes, i stress over graduation presents (n' i guess wedding presents, 2).   however, in the end graduations n' weddings make me so happy.   whaddabout childbirths?   well, i sure as heck haven't experienced many of those, but my sister'll soon give birth to a baby boy. :-)

yesterday, i werked 4 a very short time, just 2 hrs.   then i went shopping: graduation presents, u know! :-)   i left corte madera (where i werk in marin county), went to best buy in marin city then downtown sf / union square.   ah, i've missed shoppinq in sf; it reminds me of days when i had more $$$.   better days? not necessarily. *shrug* i shan't pine 4 the past!

well, after shopping, i came home, rebuilt kaela's old 'puter, n' got ready 4 the taekwondo demo team bonfire.   kaela was still @ werk @ 545p when i left to pick up johnny n' michelle.   what a fun bonfire!

[later] 658p: so we went to toby's graduate skool of education graduation.   'twas a decently small graduation in zellerbach.   they had some good refreshments.   grr! i got a parking ticket!!! grr! >:-( now, after a break, we're. . . [i got interrupted here by a fon call from toby.]

1201a: uh, can i start 2days entry now?   i just a few mins 'go posted up yesterday's entry!   well, i just felt like writing.   i was gonna write a continuation of yesterday's entry, but then i realised it's now 2day! :-) funny, huh?

neway, u guys know jeongkang, right? the man behind medeasin? definitely a hyung figure to me... of course, his web journal talks so much more explicitly 'bout sex than my modest, wholesome family fun journal, eh? X-D neway, hyung: thanks 4 mentioning my cd on ur site! :-) jeongkang n' his wife r 'bout to have a baby boy.   they're gonna be just a li'l ahead of grace n' steve.   it's kewl to hear 'bout his upcoming adventures in fatherhood.

1225a: i'm so sick! :-( i went to werk.com 2day (as in yesterday); i did some i.t. werk.   i ate togo's 4 lunch, a #3 turkey n' swiss on whole wheat.   2morrow (as in 2day), i might stay home sick from werk.com.   after i left werk 2day (meaning yesterday), the beautiful kaela kang asked me to meet her @ target n' then go to beverages, & more w/ her.   i didn't want to waste so much gas, so i told her i'd just meet her @ bevmo.   i drove there n' napped in the parking lot, waiting 4 her.   i felt so sick! :-(   we browsed thru bevmo, kaela bought a bottle of gewurztraminer n' a bag of peppered turkey jerky, n' then we went home.   i napped then went to a wutc mtg @ 700p led by dr. lieu.   i let ppl know that i was sick n' wouldn't be stayiag 4 demo team practice.   i wonder how it went.   i returned home by 800p n' napped till a li'l past 1000p.   kaela cooked soondubu jjigae 4 me.   we ate n' watched the the channel 2 news.   when i as a kid, i often watched the ktvu 2 10 o'clock news right b4 bed.   geez! i stay up so much later now! *sigh* yes, in bed, b4 dinner, i did feel the 5.2 earthguake.   i yelled, "eartquake!" twice, but kaela didn't hear me in the kitchen, where she was bizzy cooking.   'twas a delicious dinner.   i loved it! :-)

so hyun sez i gotta come in to bellagio some time this week to talk to the manager 'bout professionally djing there.   wow.   yah, really, this is pretty much my dream gig.   bellagio, in case u don't know, is pretty much the only korean niteclub in sf bay area, 'least 4 younger ppl.   i guess 4 older ppl there r some li'l bars or whatever.

1248a: ugh! i can't believe i'm so sick in the middle of may!   yesterday (meaning sunday), @ the smithsonian demo team practice, i felt great! i felt agile, flexible, strong, n' healthy.   now i feel horrible!   i just want to sleep, sleep, sleep; but sometimes i can't even fall asleep right away! *sigh*   i need to print out more benomix4jip cd covers.   i've gotta revise the wutc demo soundtrack mix! *sigh* the life of the dj, eh?

[later] 106a: i just heardfrom chris ("photon") that he received the cds i sent to him in taiwan.   he passed the 2nd copy i sent him to a record company person.   wow, heh! imagine if i got to have my own published series of mix albums... like, a real, professional deal! heh! well, heh! we'll c. :-)

[later] 315p: i'm @ the post office, waiting to mail off a bunch'f copies of benomix4jip.   as usual, as expected, i have a decently long wait ahead of me.   actually, 2day's wait isn't so bad.   i still feel really sick; flu, i guess. *sigh* yuck.   i woke up in the morn, drove kaela to her last swim class of the semester.   2day's the last day of classes @ cal.

[later] 426p: no, the post office didn't take that long.   it was a nice walk out in the sun.   i wore sea&ski spf 50 sunblock.   it's beatiful out there, 2day!   absolutely beautiful!   i came home, did some bureaucratic stuff on the 'puter, like respond to organisational/logistic e.mails 4 ucmap, n' ate some more leftover soondubu.   i had already eaten some in the morn.   man, i really dunno if i'll be going to demo practice 2nite. :-/ i still don't feel healthy, nope.

hank: thanks 4 signing my gbook!   hank has a blog: "hank peng's fobbin' & bloggin' page."   kewl.   he's got lots'f pics on his webpage.   i haven't had time to look @ his whole page.   this dang 56k dialup connection slows me down. :-(   even tho' 56k dialup is slow, i like having dialup access, so i can use the web from my handspring, u know?   yah, u know; i just don't shut up 'bout that stuff.

[later] 747p: i picked kaela up from skool.   we went to safeway n' bought tons of groceries.   now the freezer won't close. :-(   we ate a pizza w/ anchovies 4 dinner.   i e.mailed the wutc demo team ppl to let them know that i'm 2 sick to practice 2nite. :-(   i just found out that ppl can upgrade the ram in their handhelds! :-o check out stne corporation *sigh* 2 bad this place charges so much. :-( well, i'll wait till they have a bigger upgrade than 16mb.   maybe it'll be cheaper by then? *shrug* well, it's like $100.   u send them ur handheld; then they install the new ram n' send it back to u.

[later] 902p: i just now dled that song dirty vegas's "days go by."   man, i'm so behind the times, eh?   everybody's been playing this song after hearing it on the mitsubishi eclipse commercial, eh?   i spent the last few mins studying gre stuff.   that hasn't been going 2 well, has it? nope. :-( [a li'l later] 913p: sometimes i think back n' laff 'bout how, in soph n' jr yr, i used to configure my ol' original pentium 60 'puter to have clips of new order's bizarre love triangle as the window's startup n' shutdown sounds n' a clip of erasure's "always" as the default beep. X-D the default beep!!! ha ha ha! like, everytime i made an error in wurd or sumpthin' i'd hear "always i want to be with you and make believe with you and live in harmony harmony always. always i want to be with you and make believe with you and live in harmony harmony always." ha ha ha! all that 4 a default beep! ha ha, i think toby'd 'member that n' laff 2. X-D   oh! did i mention that phil's gonna drive down from oregon on thurs, stop over in berkeley, n' crash @ our place 4 a nite?   man, i hadn't dled from audiogalaxy in a while.   i'd 4gotten how much dling mp3s slows down our netwerk connection. :-( [a li'l later] 927p: i'm so upset that the only exercise i got 2day was walkin' to n' from the post office. :-( i feel so out of shape! however, this is the nature of being sick, eh? :-(

154a: heh... in a way i know how the beautiful kaela kang has felt all semester when she got distracted from her homewerk by getting caught up looking @ wedding stuff.   right now, i'm not sure what i should be doing, but i find myself planning out the musik 4 our wedding.   as i sed b4, i think kaela has thought that i don't think 'bout our upcoming wedding as much as her, but i do think 'bout 'lott'f things... just not necessarily the same aspects as her.   yah; me, i'm really thinkin' 'bout the musik n' stuff.   u know, i'm thinkin' of how we can make it a big produktion w/ the musik. :-) as i've sed b4, i plan to make lots'f mixes 4 the dancing portion of the nite... but now i'm thinkin' 'bout making mixes 4 other parts of the evening.   listen! trust me! i'm gonna make it tasteful n' classy! just cos i say i'm gonna make it mixes, doesn't mean i'm out to have teknorave musik thru the whole reception n' ceremony or nething!   please! just trust me here! :-)

[a li'l later] 206a: so u know, hyun sed i hafta meet w/ the bellagio manager on a thurs, fri, or sat evening. :-/ well, this weekend's no good. :-( just a sec 'go, i had an idea: why don't we go to bellagio after kaela's graduation n' our li'l "engagement party"?   then i realised: oh yah... we have kaela's family w/ us. oh yah. ha ha. *sigh*

[later] 259a: kaela came home from werking w/ a group on some skoolwerk.   man, how r we gonna clean up this huge, monstrous mess?! 301a: rave musik is pretty much out, huh?   it cms like we're back to hearing more house musik, like b4 the whole rave comeback thing. *shrug* [later] 334a: ah, a shower often makes me feel better, eh? more often than not... u might say, usually or even always. :-) i still feel sick.   i ought to go to bed, eh? *sigh* there r just so many things i gotta do in life, u know? :-/ u ever feel like that? [later] 350a: i should be asleep, but i just feel really nervous n' anxious! :-( 'bout what?! yah, i don't know!   i just feel jittery.   i feel there r so many things i gotta take care of, n' if i fall asleep everything'll fall apart!   ugh! this is awful! i'm a nervous wreck! *sigh* ugh! i'm not gonna get ne healthier w/ this kind'f mindset! *sigh* kaela told me a while 'go to arrange her graduation party n' our li'l engagement party bit. :-/ *sigh* i'm worried if ppl'll come or what. :-( r ppl gonna rsvp w/ me or what?! :-( c? i'm all nervous n' frantic n' stuff.   the apt's a mess, n' i know i've gotta clean it up; i just dunno where to start.   i still feel sick sick sick. :-( how come i'm whining so much?   i thought i was so devoted to providing my readers w/ a whine.free journal! :-(

[later] 1105a: i've been awake 4 a li'l while now.   i woke up when my boss called me.   i answered the fon 2 late, n' he left a voicemail.   he just wanted to ask a question.   i called him back but got his voicemail.   so... how many of u r gonna watch episode2: the attack of the clowns 2nite?   ah, 2 days 'go (mon), when phil called me while i was @ werk.com, he reminded me of how we waited in line 4 episode1: the phantom menace back in 1999 w/ the cal taekwondo p.crew, u know?   that was fun, eh?   well, i'm sure this time, i won't get to c the movie till after kaela turns in her finals n' papers.   i wonder if clarence already dled the movie.   he always dls movies b4 they come out in the theatres.   he also sometimes gets to watch movies early cos of some other hookups.   even tho' episode1 disappointed me w/ its childishness, i do wanna watch episode2.

last nite, when i finally went to bed, i was feeling pretty depressed, as u might've gathered from what i was writing 'round that hr.   however, when i went to our bedroom, i noticed kaela had put on my benomix4jip cd.   she proceeded to remind me that she liked it.   :-) that really lifted my spirits.   i haven't listened to my own album in a while now cos, well, i got sick of it!   as i listened to it last nite, i was reminded how everything culminated, as i sed... it all came 2gether.   yah, i put lots'f effort into my djing interest, n' i'm glad that effort kind'f shows. *shrug*

[a li'l later] 1127a: speaking of episode2, have u cn movie.a.minute?   i found out 'bout it from dave kim.   well, i don't think it's so much really a substitute 4 watching actual movies, but u can get a good kick from reading these humourous synopses of movies u have cn. :-) [a li'l later] 1138a: speaking of weblinks to waste 5 mins @, i visited asianguy.com from reading hank peng's blog.   he pted us to "oh no, he didn't!", an article poking fun @ the faults some asian women find in asian men. :-/ i didn't realise that so many asian women still think asian men r cheap! wow! n' here i am thinking ppl think i'm way 2 extravagant! :-(

[later] 106p: while eating leftover soondubu 4 lunch, kaela n' i watched a kewl episode of star trek: deep space nine where all the characters live on earth in the 1950s instead of in futuristic space.   i like these episodes where star trek characters get out of their usual space explorer roles n' take on historic earth roles.   i just did some research on the net n' found out that this episode is called "far beyond the stars." u can read more 'bout it here: "far beyond the stars" on ariel's holodec, star trek deep space nine season 6 reviews *sigh* 2 much tv, huh?   yesterday, we saw an everybody loves raymond episode where raymond starts to werk @ home n' encounters all sorts'f distractions. *sigh* just think: so many ppl these days werk @ home; they either have their own independent biznesses or telecommute.   back to star trek: in the past i always thought of "ds9" as a somewhat inferior series to "tng" n' even "voyager," however i'm realising i was very wrong.   i thought it was boring; but no.   can u believe star trek is such a big thing?   u know what "tos" means to trekkies, right? "the original series."   kbhk 44 used to show lots'f "tos" episodes, but heh! not nemore.   however, we can still watch 'least "voyager," "ds9," n' "enterprise."   do they still show "tng" episodes? *shrug* i'm not that much of a trekkie ; i don't know.

i actually posted an auction up on ebay!   a long time 'go, i bought this scsi terminator from some on.line store related to chase bank. *shrug* i dunno how i found that store.   neway, it turned out to be the wrong kind.   the merchant was very unhelpful 'bout returning the item, etc.   i got stuck w/ it. :-(   well, i'm trying to sell off this terminator now.

[later] 525p: uhm, so i didn't leave the apt all day, eh?   i went down to the mailbox to pick up our mail, but that's it! scary! :-( p k n' joon: thanks 4 signing my gbook!   joon, didju get my benomix shipment?   i ate a lean pocket in the midafternoon.   what flavour was it? *shrug* i think it was like sausage pizza or sumpthin'. *shrug* even tho' it's a "lean" pocket, it's not that good 4 u. :-(   sometime soon, kaela n' i should make cherry.banana smoothies! :-) i was s'pposed to go to the post office 2day to mail out a shipment of benomix cds but *sigh* didn't go.   2morrow.

[later] 812p: why do i still feel so sick? :-/ *sigh* it's the lack of sleep, right?   however, if i sleep, i feel like i'm wasting my life 'way, u understand?   i actually spent some time 2day studying gre stuff.   *sigh* i'm still sort'f lost as far as a real direction in life, u know?   again n' again, i've gotta tell myself to have patience n' faith. <:-/   eventually, a space coyote'll come n' tell me what to do w/ my life, right? right.   so kaela n' i did make banana.cherry.strawberry smoothies.   they weren't very sweet, but i enjoyed them.   they tasted healthy! :-) i can't believe i didn't go out all day.   i just don't feel right going thru life like this. :-( *sigh* in a way, i feel i really need to grad skool... but then while studying n' not werking i feel like such a bum!   <:-( what to do?   in a way, i actually think i should just pursue the bellagio dj job n' study 4 grad skool.   is that a plan?   i don't wanna have a noncareer job 4ever, yet if i'm gonna apply 4 grad skool... *sigh* i dunno if i can handle a real career job right now. :-/ i dunno. everything cms like a gamble, u know?   as i've sed b4, back in hi skool there was only 1 right path: study hard? the right path.   goof off n' do other things? the wrong path.   in college, the same: study hard? the right path.   goof off n' do other things? the wrong path.   in the real world, it's not so easy to distinguish the right path: take this good job or take that good job? *shrug* make $$$ now or wait n' make even more $$$ later? *shrug* develop a career in this good field or develop a career in that good field? *shrug* it's much harder to distinguish right from wrong in the real world.   there r some paths u can take that will merge back w/ the paths u didn't take.   then there r some paths that take u so far away from the other paths, that u can never switch.   some roads allow 2.way traffik, others only go 1 way. *sigh* u know... i've been saying this 4 quite some time now! can u believe that?   i even told kaela's dad 'bout these philosophies of mine 1nce. :-D ha ha ha. *sigh* well, he cmed to understand where i was coming from.   i hope ppl can understand where i'm coming from. <:-/

[later] 943p: i was inspired to share this song w/ u:

°¡Áö ¾Ê´Â ±æ - ±è°Ç¸ð 5Áý / myself	"the road not taken" - kim gunmo's 5th album myself
³ë·¡ : ±è°Ç¸ð	sung by: kim gunmo
¡¡	¡¡
³ª ÀÌÁ¦´Â ¶°³ª·ÁÇØ Ç×»ó ½¬¿î±æ¸¸À» ¶Ç °¥ ¼ö´Â ¾øÀݾÆ	this time, i must leave. you know, i can't keep going only on the always easy road.
Àú ±æ ³¡¿¡ ³¯ ±â´Ù¸± ¾î¸° ³¯ ²Þ²Ù°Ô ÇÏ´ø ±× ¸¼Àº ¹«Áö°³ ¾à¼Ó´ë·Î È帣´Â ½Ã°£À̶õ ¾ø´Â°Å¾ß ³Ê¹« º¯ÇÑ ¼¼»óÀ» µû¶ó ³ªÀÇ ²Þµµ ³ÊÀÇ ²Þµµ	the end of that road awaits me there's no such flowing time, as promised, for the clear rainbows i dreamed of as a kid. the ever changing world keeps changing, so does my dream and your dream too.
¡¡	¡¡
¿À´Ãµµ ¸¶ÁÖÄ£ »ç¶÷µé ±× Ç¥Á¤¾ø´Â ´« ¼Ó¿¡ Áø½ÇÀ̶õ ãÀ» ¼ö ¾ø°í ¾î¼¸é ³ªÁ¶Â÷ ¸ðµç°É ÀÒÀº °ÍÀº ¾Æ´Ò±î ¾î¸° ³»°¡ ²Þ²Ù ´ø ±æ ¶°³ª³×	even today, in the eyes of faceless people i meet, i can't find the truth, and maybe even everything of mine isn't a loss. i'm leaving the road i dreamed of as a kid.
¡¡	¡¡
¶Ç ´Ù¸¥ ³» ¸ð½À ãÀ» ¼ö ÀÖÀ» ÁÙ ¾Ë¾Ò¾î ³Ê¹« ³°¾Æ ¹ö¸° ¹«Áö°³ ²ÞÀº ±×³É ²ÞÀÏ»ÓÀ̾ß	i knew that i could find my other face. the so old, thrown away rainbow dream is just a dream.
¡¡	¡¡
¿À´Ãµµ ¸¶ÁÖÄ£ »ç¶÷µé ±× Ç¥Á¤¾ø´Â ´« ¼Ó¿¡ Áø½ÇÀ̶õ ãÀ» ¼ö ¾ø°í ¼ÒÁßÇÑ ¸ðµç°Ç ³»°ç¿¡ ÀÖ´Ù´Â °É ¾Ë¾Ò¾î ÀÌÁ¦ ¿©±â »ç¶ûÀ¸·Î ¸Ó¹«³×	even today, in the eyes of faceless people i meet, i can't find the truth, and everything precious, i've known, is right by my side. this time, for this love, i stop.

well, i might have made mistakes in the translation, so well... ne1 who is better w/ speaking korean than me, please correct me!

1222p: i can't believe it's already may 16! :-o crazy! can u believe that i didn't leave the apt @ all yesterday?!   i was such a "shut.in," right?   that's the wurd, right? :-/ i spent a bit of time yesterday studying gre vocabulary wurds; my vocabulary should be better than this!   when will i start using them big wurds in my journal writings n' in my daily speech?!?! :-( i used to know all these big wurds when i was a hi scorer on the sat.   man, those were the days, eh?   i was really smart n' really fat! >X-D yup, that was me in hi skool! :-) so... who saw attack of the clowns last nite?   i wonder if jarvis did; he was always the big star wars fan, u know? [later] 1239p: phil called.   he sed he won't get here to late in the nite.   originally, he was s'pposed to get here in the early evening.   i thought we'd be able to have dinner 2gether n' stuff; guess not. [later] 1256p: so i'm gonna spend some time cleaning up this pigsty, right? right.

[later] 436p: so what happened 2day?   the beautiful kaela kang n' i ate some frozen skillet pasta thingy 4 lunch.   then a li'l while later, we received our royal prestige fancy cookware.   it actually looks really nice.   it's so sturdy.   then hrm... what else has happened 2day?   i still haven't left the apt. :-(   kaela's home, doing some homewerk, some take.home final exam, i believe.   i've been trying to clean up, but i'm getting caught up in listening to musik.   heh, it started cos i was sorting out my cds to file then n' all, u know? *sigh* i got all excited 'bout jumpin' right into making 'nother mix.   when'll benomix5jip come out? *shrug* i think i can put out 'nother mix album sooner than we had to wait 4 the last 1.   u know, hyun's convinced me to compete in the club bellagio 2002 dj expo, a dj contest.   the grand prize is $1000.   he thinks i have a good chance of winning.   heh, well, i signed up.   i dunno what the rules exactly r yet, but hyun sed i can go in n' practice on their equipment.   they have denon decks instead of pioneers like i have n' like they used to.

[later] 650p: *sigh* i can't believe i'm still a shut.in.   that is the right wurd, right?   well, we're eating mandoo 4 dinner now.   earlier, i made banana.blueberry.cherry smoothies 'gain.   man... i won't practice taekwondo 'gain till sun, huh? >:-/ that's not good!   "if you're gonna draw a map of your life, do it in pencil.   then redraw it over and over again." -- from the bass ale commercial i just saw on tv u think? [later] 800p: *sigh* what a life! i can't believe i pretty much haven't left the apt in 2 days! :-( i really don't like this! [later] 827p: just 4 kicks, on google, i imagesearched "benogurl," n' found ol' pics from last yr's bronx's junkyard bay area hangout! wow! *sigh* the memories!   well, shoot! bathing suit season's coming up! gotta get in shape! X-D can't get in shape just eating hot pockets all day! :-( wasn't i the 1st 1 in the pool @ that hangout?   i think so.   bronx (peter) pushed me into the unheated pool.   it appears, from the pics, that idigu (darren) was the next 1; i think he went in voluntarily. *sigh* man, that was a fun party! the funniest part was when gulid's (john) mom n' sister came home to discover us all in the pool while john'd gone off to werk 4 a bit.   did i sunburn my scalp that day?!   hrm, i wonder where my account of that day is. :-/ i should be able to find it in my journal somewhere!   however, the net's so slow right now cos i'm dling all these fotos from that day from bronx's. :-/ i guess it's situations like these that make me wish i had broadband. oh well! ok, now let's find that journal entry! 847p: aha! i found the entry!   please refer to "the fast n' the furryous" from 2001.07.23!!! :-) nuts, i did sunburn my scalp that day! :-( [later] 859p: ah, 'member when the ol' p.crew used to joke 'round 'bout "eating sushi off a naked body" all the time? ha ha ha.   i wonder when phil'll get here.   uh, those thoughts were completely unrelated, btw.

[later] 1007p: so kaela n' i went out to sweetheart café to get boba drinks. then i dropped off a benomix cd w/ johnny of howshiaoma.com fame, not johnny of "johnny's head on the web" fame. X-D i hadn't cn johnny in person in a long time, but he looks like he used to, pretty much.   now we're back home.   man, this place still needs cleaning!   b4 we ate mandoo 4 dinner (which was cooked in our new cookware), i was cleaning the bathroom.   ugh, so many fumes!

[later] 1128p: phil still isn't here!   man, originally, i thought he'd get here 'round 5, that we'd hang out w/ toby, n' that toby'd cut my hair tonite. nuts, apparently he's still werking on his thesis, so he won't be cutting my hair; that's 4 sure.   nuts. man, i still have so much cleaning up to do!   this afternoon, i made the reservation 4 sat's lunch. [a li'l later] 1134p: hey, joon just signed my gbook again.   atta boy, joon!   every1 should sign my gbook! :-) ha ha.   neway, he asks, "hey how'd you get my address?" well, i just know! [later] midnite: phil's here, we're eating hot pockets.

1240p: it's already the 17th?! :-o uhm, i've gotta stop being shocked by the date like this, eh? ha ha.   neway, this morn, i accepted a job interview 4 mon.   crazy, huh?   so bizzy!   105p: i hope this is ok.   just remind me that i have a job interview to go to mon morn! :-) so what r we gonna do 2day?   i hope toby'll cut my hair!   last nite, joon called me, huh?   that was last nite, right? heh, i'm losing track of time, eh?

1139p: i haven't written much lately, eh?   2 bizzy.   it's been raining 2day.   it rained most of the day, but there was sunshine in the late afternoon / early evening.   when i was driving to the smithsonian demo team practice in san leandro, it was so bright n' sunny that i could hardly believe that it was 'round 500p.   2day, the beautiful kaela kang n' i woke up after her family woke up in the living room.   yah, they all managed to squeez into our living room n' crash there 4 the nite.   they had already ordered pizzas from zachary's, n' i needed to drive w/ jeanna to pick it up.   they had ordered 2 pizzas: a large chicken/basil/garlic pizza (a famous zachary's specialty) n' a small "harvest" pizza, which had zucchini, asparagus, n' uh... i dunno... stuff!   after jeanna'd run in to get the pizzas, we drove to safeway to get some oj.   i bought 2 jugs cos it was buy 1 get 1 free.   we ate, then we didn't have much time b4 i had to take the kang family to the airport 4 their flight back to socal.   then i came home.   kaela n' i fell asleep 4 a while on this rainy afternoon, then i went my practice.   i had planned to go to officemax in everyville on my way home to buy their 10 ream box of paper, which is on sale, n' some free.after.rebate items.   nuts! they close @ 600p on sun!   geez! only in america! eh? like in asia, stuff opens later... even on sun!!! grr! well, i think in england, stuff closes early like this on suns 2 tho'; when i was in englad back in 1993, ppl told me it was a recent thing that shops'd even open on a suns, since sun's the sabbath.   yah... true, but... grr! it's annoying not to be able to buy paper when u need to print out résumés cos u have an interview the next morn!

ha! oh yah, on my way back from practice, i sort'f got lost n' drove home thru some very ghetto areas.   i didn't get onto 880 or 238 back to berkeley, i drove locally from san leandro, thru some ruff areas of oakland, till i got to high st. near alameda n' got onto 880.   (hrm, i was tempted to say "the 880," as a socal person'd say! ha ha.)   well, after i found out officemax was closed, i drove back home to berkeley... but 'gain, i drove locally cos i didn't find my way back to the highway... this time it wasn't so much that i was lost, but i didn't feel like backtracking. *shrug* it wasn't 2 bad, altho' i did 'gain drive thru some ruff neighbourhoods. *shrug* well, hrm... i shouldn't do that, huh? *sigh* when i got home, or... rather, just b4 i got home, kaela n' i decided to 168 4 dinner.   i went home, did a few things, got her, n' we went to 168.   it'd started raining 'gain.   it was late now... like uh... 'bout 900p.   it was dark n' rainy... a bit cold.   we actually had to wait to get a table @ 168.   that doesn't happen to us often.   we had a filling dinner.   i had chao ma mien (jjambbong) n' kaela had uh... sumpthin' they call "check-r noodles." *shrug* i thought i heard the waitress call it sumpthin' like "dongfun." *shrug*

114a: :-o wait! win xp sez my 'puter only has 512mb of ram in it, but i should have 1gb of ram in there!!! uh oh, what happened! i'd better open up my 'puter n' check it out sometime... not right now, but please remind me to check my 'puter. :-)

well, i shouldn't stay up so late cos i have my job interview in the morn!   i didn't really finish writing yesterday's journal entry "rain washes the stink off of berkeley streets" (2002.05.19).   toby always talks 'bout how rain washes 'way the stench of berkeley streets where ppl piss on the sidewalk or bldg walls, etc.   yuck. X-(

sorry, this weekend, i didn't have so much time to write journal entries/updates, nope.   well, it's nice to live life instead of writing 'bout it, right? X-D ha ha.   well, 'twas a bizzy weekend.   i think my last few journal entries were a bit unresolved, right?

[much later] 221p: ok, i went to bayer, had my interview w/ surprisingly 4 ppl! i thought it'd be just an interview w/ 1 hr (human resources) person, but it turned out to be w/ 1 hr person n' 3 engineers.   it went ok, altho' i was more nervous than i've been 4 ne other interview lately.   after the interview, i went to emeryville to buy paper n' free.after.rebate stuff from officemax n' a free.after.rebate pen/stylus from compusa.   i wanted to buy a cheap.after.rebate sandisk 128mb cf (compact flash) card from compusa, but they were out. :-(   staples has the same deal.   i hope to go to staples soon.   then i came home.   the beautiful kaela kang's graduation present had arrived via fedex.   i got her a babyg puppy park watch.   it's cute.   it was s'pposed to get here on fri, but the online store that i bought it from isn't that reliable, i guess. :-(   like, i couldn't find this particular, cute watch newhere in america, so i guess the store i got it from is in kuala lumpur, malaysia.   i'd cn the model b4 online.   when i searched 4 it, i mostly found japanese websites.   i hope she likes it.

i got kaela a baby.g puppy park watch similar to the 1 pictured above.   when u turn on the indiglo.type light, an image of a puppy pops on the screen.

oh yah! i fixed the ram in my 'puter... uh, i dunno how, but i did.   i just took the ram out n' plugged it back in. *shrug* maybe it was just a li'l loose? *shrug*   it's a gloomily, cloudy/rainy day in berkeley.   kaela n' i microwaved/nuked some frozen dinners 4 lunch: an uncle ben's rice bowl w/ cajun sausage n' chicken n' a lean cuisine thai chicken n' rice thingy.   these 2 frozen dinners r actually pretty good!

u know, when i use google, on my 'puter, it's set to default to korean language google.   on kaela's, it's the normal english version.   last nite, she saw that the google logo had dilbert on it.   apparently, there'll be dilbert comics on the google "doodles," what they call the google logos, all week.   also, apparently, the normal google doodles r drawn by dennis hwang, a pretty interesting young, korean.american guy.

u c, 2day, is kaela n' my 28th monthversary! :-) i think we'll celebrate some 2nite... it depends on if kaela finishes her paper or what. :-(   if she doesn't, we'll just eat catfud. :-( if she does, i'll take her some place nice. :-)

pictures? how 'bout some pictures? :-)

kaela outside zellerbach (pic taken w/ kaela's digielph)	u can c kaela's halabuhji (grandpa) n' halmuhni (grandma) behind her.   most of the pics i took inside zellerbach didn't turn out 2 good cos'f the bad lighting n' distance btwn me n' the graduates. :-( this is a good pic, i think. <:-)
keno outside zellerbach (pic taken w/ kaela's digielph)	(of course, keno = kaela + beno.) u can c nelson, toby, n' betty in the background! :-)
nuts! 2 blurry, huh? otherwise, it's a fashion shoot, right? :-)	kaela @ our wedding site (pic taken w/ kaela's digielph)
kaela @ our wedding site w/ her mom (pic taken w/ kaela's digielph)	i really like this pic! :-) not only is it rather candid, but look closely 2ward the center of the pic... there's a doggy in the pic!!!! 8-D yup, off in the distance, u can c a golden retriever.   when we toured the site, a wedding party was getting ready.   the groom n' groomsmen were taken some pics n' getting some video footage done.   the sight of that made me a li'l nervous... but not in a bad way.   it made me feel uh... giddy? but not in a li'l skoolgurl way!!! no! in the most manly way possible! :-) dang, i've really gotta study those gre wurds!   if i expand my vocabulary to the buffness it 1nce had, then i won't hafta use wurds like "giddy" to express my uh... enravishment n' ardour. :-/ r those better wurds? *shrug*

354p: uhm, i haven't talked 'bout what happened on sat yet, huh?   well, sat, kaela n' i woke up.   her bro n' sis spent the nite in our living room.   we ate some instant kalgooksoo (soup noodles).   then her parents arrived w/ her grandparents.   we got ready to go to the graduation.   i dropped kaela n' her mom off @ zellerbach, went to the atm, n' parked my car under the rsf.   then i went to zellerbach n' found my parents n' roland.   i sat w/ my parents.   i felt sooo tired while listening to all the awards.   chancellor berdhal's n' congresswoman barbara lee's appearances @ the graduation caught my interest me n' kept me awake.   the professors took their time introducing the phd candidates, but rushed the masters candidates on n' off the stage.   that really surprised me n' made it very difficult 4 me to get ne documentation of kaela getting her fake diploma.   however, i actually was able to capture it as an .avi w/ her digielph.   well, after the ceremony, it took me a while to find kaela.   our friends were kind'f scattered.   we managed to find each other eventually.   we took lots'f pics.   some ppl got some of refreshments from upstairs, but i didn't get ne.   they did, however, look very tasty!   well, eventually, we got on our way from zellerbach to biwon korean restaurant in santa clara.   peter park (bronx) recommended that place, n' kaela n' i checked it out last weekend.   i wonder if he primarily chose it cos it serves both korean n' koreanised chinese fud. *shrug* it's got variety, alright.   it was a fun, festive lunch.   i had made the reservation 4 17 ppl a while 'go, but actually, there was a li'l more than that, i think.   i think we had a very good amt of fud.   some of the guys might've been hungry still.   after the fact, kaela n' i learned that the "parents'" table had leftovers.   nuts, we should've snagged them!   well, since kaela's grandparents had to catch a flight back down to socal, we had to end the lunch a bit early n' take our parents on a quick tour of our wedding site b4 rushing to the airport. oh well.   ha! u'll read on kaela's site 'bout how we ate j.box 4 dinner n' stuff.   ha ha. funny.   can u believe we bought $30 worth of j.box to feed the 6 of us?   i dunno when i've spent so much @ the j.box drive.thru! since we thought we didn't have 'nuff drinks, kaela went into the 7.11 to get us a blue raspberry "squishee," as i like to call slurpees! :-)   as nuthin' else i need to mention here happened that nite, i guess my story's now come full circle, in that i've prob'ly talked 'bout the rest of the weekend in previous journal entries. :-) i'm so asynchronous, huh? uh... i mean, i'm so out.of.order, u know? :-)

clarence, roland, toby, betty, ken, grace, phil, raymond; it was so kewl they could come to kaela's grad n' to our rather in4mal engagement party.   we really appreciate that they came. :-)

311p: well, i sure tried to get as much done 2day so far as i could.   i'm glad i have actually gotten some things done! :-)   yes, that makes me happy.   i went out to staples to buy some cheap.after.rebate items: a $40 sandisk 128mb cf (compact flash memory) card n' a $5 webcam.   the stoopid ca$hier, who kept hounding me 'bout buying their stoopid extended warranty, didn't give me the rebate receipt or form 4 the cf card! >:-( oh, on my way to the el cerrito staples, i bought gas @ the solano 76, which i told toby has pretty cheap, brand.name gas.   sheesh! the pump overfilled my tank 'gain n' spilled gas on my car! *sigh* i had this prob here b4, n' i complained to 76.   last time, they sent me some vouchers 4 free gas, but *sigh* i guess they haven't really fixed this prob! >:-(   well, after staples, i went to the walgreens in the same new strip mall out there n' bought some 99¢ superglue n' some free.after.rebate 3m bandages.   then i drove back to berkeley.   i felt "li'l hungry, li'l hungry" (as well as "li'l thirsty, li'l thirsty), so i drove thru @ the mcyukyuk's drivethru n' bought a 99¢ mcchicken n' a large diet coke .   i paid $2.79 exactly gathering up dimes, nickels, n' pennies to make the 79¢.   then i drove to office depot to get a 2nd quote on printing wutc certificates, as i already got 1 quote from staples.   uh, i guess i sat in the parking lot n' ate my mcchicken b4 going in.   after office depot, i went to the post office to mail off a whole bunch'f benomix4jip cds.   that actually didn't take long @ all! :-) i was very pleasantly surprised!   ha, there was some less.than.sane man trying to hit on the middle.aged asian woman that werks there. :-/ crazy guy!   after the post office, i came home n' idled a bit, then got to werk on all sorts'f e.mails to customer service representatives to complain 'bout bad incidents @ compusa, officemax, staples, n' union 76.   do i sound like a guy w/ 2 much time on his hands?   well, no; i'm definitely not!   however, yah, i do wanna complain 'bout these stores that make me buy produkts that r supposedly free or cheap after rebate but make it so i can't get the rebate n' 'bout the spilled gas.   they'd better respond to me. >:-(

558p: so i installed the $5 webcam!

some of the earliest pics from my new cheapie webcam

these pics look like neoprints! :-D funny, huh?

i noticed this afternoon that our neighbour's black kitty frisco left a big, splashy, muddy, sploshy splotch on my recently washed car's hood.   heh, well it's been so rainy lately, u know?   the kitty's so cute! :-) sure, i guess i don't love getting my car dirty, but if it's gonna get dirty, dirty kitty's gotta be 1 of the best means, right? that n' going to tahoe 4 snowboarding! :-) so it's been snowing in tahoe!   alpine meadows is still open!   we can go snowboarding on sun, the last day that alpin meadows'll be open this season! :-)   it's only open 830a - 200p tho'. :-/ crazy tho, huh? we can still go snowboarding! :-)

so last nite, i took kaela out 4 our 28th monthversary.   u c, actually lots'f restaurants apparently rn't open on mon nites!   wow, is this just cos'f the bad economy? *shrug* during the teknoboom, didn't young yuppies go out to dine @ fancy restaurants every nite, after werk? *shrug* well, we were gonna try out that dragonfly teahouse restaurant in bison brewery, but it was closed.   thus, we went to unicorn.   unicorn's a great panasian/fusion restaurant.   u know what? it's also a really good deal.   the management there is so friendly.   if u haven't been there, u oughtta try it out!

unicorn
2533 telegraph avenue
berkeley, ca 94704
fon: 510.841.8098

i couldn't believe that we went into the restaurant while the sun was still up n' left when the sun was still up!   however, it was raining outside, off n' on, during our dinner.   this time, we had the horn of plenty dinner, genmaicha, a tofu watercress salad, n' 4 dessert fried banana w/ green tea aisukuriimu n' white chocodrizzle n' cheesecake.   the unique thing 'bout unicorn is that they let u really customise ur order; i.e. they offer so many options, like what meat u want in ur dish (or else tofu instead of meat) or what flavour'f aisukuriimu goes w/ ur fried banana, even what flavour of drizzle u want! choco, white choco, honey, or caramel! wow, huh?

[later] 1128p: so i went to taekwondo practice like @ 730p, i guess.   i stayed till almost 1000p cos'f a wutc mtg.   i'm gonna be back in the rsf practicing taekwondo @ 630a 2morrow, i guess.   dr. lieu met w/ us test takers, those of us who wanna take the promotional dan test (shimsa) @ the end of the summer.   dr. lieu sort'f evaluated where we r right now.   really, i'm glad i have put in as much time as i've been putting in to taekwondo.   i feel that, yes, it's paying off.   @ the same time, i know i have things to improve.   oh, i won't underemphasize that fact!!! i really have things to improve.   4 1 thing, i think i need more endurance.   dr. lieu sez i need more balance n' strength.   yah, i agree.   dr. lieu had us do this kewl exercise where a partner stretches ur leg up while ur back's 'gainst the wall; then ur partner let's go n' u gotta try to hold ur leg up.   that's good; it's good 4 increasing ur leg strength.   i like it.   oh, man! i won't say it's not painful, but it's good 4 u, u know?

well, after the mtg n' practice, raymond n' i went to get boba drinks @ sweetheart café   i had a papaya milk w/ pearls; it was so rich n' creamy! :-/ actually, maybe 2 rich n' creamy 4 my taste.

beno w/ the prototype wutc id that kevin morris gave to him.
beno likes it.
p.s. don't try to make some fake wutc id from looking @ this pic cos it won't werk! >:-(

100p: i'm typing in a very small font in my ms winxp notepad window.   i changed the font face from "lucinda sans unicode" to "small fonts" n' the size to 6 from 10.   i was complaining to raymond last nite, as i was dropping him off after taekwondo practice, that ms windows cms to be so much less space efficient than the old linux i'd use in engineering lab. *shrug* well, i'm thinking if i use notepad w/ a smaller font, then i'll save space.   i have decent eyes; i should exploit that fact, right? *shrug*

that stoopid scsi terminator i put up 4 sale on ebay hasn't sold, but i put 'nother item up 4 sale: the kennetch cole, mini fm radio that came w/ my raincoat.   i never used this radio.   altho' the idea of having a radio always in ur raincoat is kind'f neat, i think i can listen to my soundsgood mp3 springboard on my handspring if i get bored, u know? *shrug*

well, i went to the 630a taekwondo practice.   ugh, my back is sore. :-(   it's been sore since after sun's smithsonian demo team practice. :-(   i need more calcium every1 sez.   true.   i should do more reverse situps!!!   why is my back like this?!   i don't wanna be an advil fiend!   i was so groggy in the morn.   i can't believe i woke up so early n' went to practice.   yah, it does feel good to wake up early n' exercise! :-)

toby, happy that his masters thesis was approved, came over to our place.

148p: toby's still here.   he came over last nite n' is still here.   that's kewl tho'; it's fun to have toby over! :-)   yesterday evening, the beautiful kaela kang n' i went to our smithsonian demo team practice.   it lasted longer than we expected, but that was much cos we had quite a bit of catching up to do.   after taekwondo practice, kaela n' i swung by andronico's (grocery store) to buy some things 4 dinner n' some fruit.   i called toby n' asked him to come over n' bring his vcr to try some video capturing thru my ati all.in.wonder. :-/ we tried to use some cheapie program that came w/ my cheapie webcam.   it didn't werk 2 right. :-( [later] 1034p: ugh, what a bizzy life!   if i were really bleak n' cynical, i'd say i have a really bizzy, empty life.   huh?! well, like...4 a guy who doesn't have a full time job, i sure am bizzy, eh? u know? :-( *sigh* well, toby n' i celebrated his masters thesis approval w/ a li'l wine last nite.   ugh, it was overaged muscat!   my exgf gave it to me soon after we broke up.   that was a while 'go, u know?   it was a 1997 muscat.   u know, muscat's don't usually age well.   it tasted really sweet but had a strong alcohol taste. X-P yuck.   well, that modest amt of wine combined w/ a li'l beer really gave me a headache.   toby n' i stayed up pretty late, just goofing off n' trying to get my 'puter's ati all.in.wonder video capture to werk.   did i already mention that?

well, all day, my sore back bothered me.   i should do more reverse situps! *sigh* i killed the pain w/ advil, i guess. :-( kaela n' i went to a wutc committee head mtg.   it went longer than i expected.   after that, i rushed off to bellagio to meet w/ the manager 'bout djing there.   it was a very bilingual (korean/english) conversation.   i started off in korean but sed i only speak a li'l, n' we alternated btwn korean n' english. we just stood outside the club talking.   he had to check in guests, but it wasn't as bizzy on a thurs eve(ning) compared to a fri or sat nite.   he was a li'l unimpressed by the fact that i haven't been @ the club in so long. :-( oh well.   well, i realised after i got home that i think he told me 1nce to stop talking in jondaemal; which is formal korean, i guess u could say.   neway, the manager sed he likes my cd n'll call me in 4 an audition sometime.   i came home n' steamed some mandoo n' watched tv.   the drew carey show's pretty funny, eh?

beno pretends he's 2 kewl to look @ the cam
after coming home from bellagio n' taking off his dress shirt.

[later] 1138p: a while 'go, i had the urge 4 some sweet fud.   i 1st split a soy dreams mini chocosandwich w/ kaela n' then took out the remaining 2 mochi aisukuriimu.   man! i didn't realise mochi aisukuriimu can go stale. X-P maybe the freezer door was open sometime, n' the aisukuriimu melted n' refroze. *shrug*

beno spent the morning mixing.

why is beno always wearing "wifebeater" shirts?

1147a: well, i've been a bit 2 bizzy 2 update, i guess. :-) that's a good thing, right?   it's better to live life than write 'bout it, right?   however, when i check my friends' web journals, man! i really wanna c updates, n' i get all impatient! X-D ha ha ha.   *sigh*

1015p: yesterday, jerome graduated (actually, just walked).   congratulations, jerome.   man! i've been way 2 bizzy to post entries! :-/   well, on fri, a bunch'f us went to go watch episode 2: the attack of the clowns @ jack london.   who went? toby, betty, roland, the beautiful kaela kang n' me.   it was in the late afternoon.   man! i actually really liked attack of the clowns!!!   i feel like i don't hafta watch 'nother movie 4 a long time cos it was so good!   weird, huh?   i liked it so much better than phantom menace!   sure, again some parts were just cartoons, but *sigh* i'm glad there was much less jar jar! :-) heh, i guess i'll try not to spoil the movie 4 u n' talk 'bout it 2 much.   amidala had some nice costumes tho' n' interesting hairstyles.   it was such an exciting movie!

last nite, after the graduation, we went over to jerome's n' had dinner w/ a bunch'f friends.   2day, we had brunch w/ jeanna, erica, n' adelyn.   jeanna's staying over @ our place right now, of course.   she got in yesterday.   this afternoon, we had a li'l demo practice.   sheesh! i got my 3rd parking ticket in the rsf lot in 'bout a month! >:-< i was right there! the woman was writing my ticket, i sed, "wait, we're here;" n' she just sed "sorry, n' kept writing the dang ticket! grrr!

2nite, liane n' nate took us out to dinner @ kincaid's on the bay in jack london square as a graduation/engagement thing.   there's so nice! they really feel like big bro n' big sis to us! :-)

well, life is very bizzy, i guess... it's really fun n' exciting, if i stop to think positively 'bout it.   sure, if i think negatively 'bout it, i can make it cm really depressing. *shrug* well, i'm having fun... n' i really enjoy life, enjoy the ppl i'm 'round... it's good! :-)

we're supposed to go snowboarding 2morrow morn.   will my back survive? <:-(

1241p: so the beautiful kaela kang n' i actually went up to tahoe yesterday! :-) we went snowboarding! no kidding!   we actually woke up decently early n' left 4 tahoe by like 700a.   we swung by a mcyukyuk's drive.thru to pick up some greasy breakfast on the way.   we got to alpine meadows @ a decent time.   it was only open like 830a - 200p 4 the last coupl'f weeks, i think.   neway, dang! we're just so 4tunate to have snow @ all, u know?   well, i knew it wouldn't be like a real hardcore snowboarding day; rather, just a day to enjoy this blessing of late spring snow n' take it easy n' laidback, u know? yup yup.   only 1 lift was open, summit 6.   there wasn't all that much to jump off of, but i managed to find a few hits.   there was this 1 jump that i think has been there all season: it's @ the bottom of a steeper part of the run, but it's the kind'f jump where u gotta bullet down fast n' then ride uphill a bit, n' then @ the top of that uphill bit, u can catch a li'l air; however, u've got to bullet down or else u won't have 'nuff speed to make it up the incline of the jump.   the 1st few times i went up it, i didn't have enuf speed.   but on my last run, w/ perry seto, whom we ran into up there, i finally got a decent air off of it.   so yah, we ran into perry seto n' his family.   that was really kewl!   after all, like we drove all the way up to tahoe just 4 a li'l snow... well, since we're such crazy snowboarders, that's fine; but to be able to hang out w/ friends up there; man! that was a extra superbonus, u know?   cos i mean, there just wasn't all that much snowboarding to do on the rapidly melting snow... so yah! to be able to enjoy free bud lite beer that the snack bar was giving away along w/ some fud n' chat w/ perry n' his family, that was great!

well, eventually, kaela n' i had to take off.   we stopped by the in.n.out in auburn to share a animal style 2x2 meal.   man, i 4got how big 2x2's r; or else, the auburn in.n.out makes them really big. *shrug* i 'member, i used to buy 2xmeats 'lot, figuring cheese is just excess fat n' calories.   well, after in.n.out, we just took off 4 home, altho' we had to stop 4 gas in richmond.

when we got home we had very li'l time to get ready 4 sophia's b.day party.   raymond came n' picked us up n' drove us to chevy's in emeryville, where a bunch'f us celebrated.   man, i was so not hungry cos'f the in.n.out burger.   i still ordered some nachos n' a strawberry margarita, but i gave 'way most of my nachos.   ha! man, raymond shared a shot w/ sophia n' couldn't drive after that.   kaela drove us back to berkeley, over to jerome n' andy's place, where we hung out 4 a while.   man, @ 100a, it felt like 400a to kaela n' me!   that's when we all left n' went home.

well, happy b.day sophia! :-) ...even tho' i'm sure she doesn't read this. *shrug*   i really appreciate that sophia's here in the taekwondo program w/ us.   u know, 'mongst the black belts, kaela n' sophia r pretty much the only korean women! can u believe that?! in all of berkeley taekwondo right now, only 2 korean female black belts... n' taekwondo's a korean martial art!   like, of course i like to c taekwondo spread out n' have practitioners of all races etc., but u know... like, as taekwondo's a korean martial art, it's good to have ppl born into that heritage to share those pieces of korean culture that they can only bring... so yes, kaela n' sophia r really valuable to the taekwondo club, i'd say!

ugh! why does the net feel so slow right now?!   oh lemme talk 'bout some random things: 1) c3po n' r2d2: there's no doubt nemore that they r definitely a gay pair!   2) as i've been telling my friends: man, i'm so frustrated that the copeland's on shattuck is gonna be a new "organic pharmacy" called elephant!   what frustrates me even more is that the old café del sol on solano's gonna be 'nother "organic pharmacy" called organica.   k, please hear me out: i am a berkeleyan, a berkeley resident, a uc berkeley alum... i'm all 4 healthy living, eating veggies, being nice to animals n' the environment... however!!! however, i really don't like these new organic pharmacies cos 1) they r taking up valuable space in berkeley which could be better used as boba cafés, musik stores, hip fashion stores, nite clubs, video stores, noraebang places, stores that sell mashimaro products... nething but organic drugs!!!! n' 2) these biznesses r wasted $$$! they take $$$ from some investors n' that $$$'s just gonna totally disappear... well, i guess the only person who'll profit from this is the landlords.   i mean, shoot! berkeley is the place where u'll find ppl who actually'd consider "organic" drugs, however... listen! we just don't have the $$$ these days to buy funky things like "organic" drugs when we can go to longs drugs or walgreens to buy cheaper medicines that actualyl werk! u know? *sigh*

on sat, right b4 i found that blasted, dagnabbed parking tic being issued to me in the rsf garage, johnny chang'd called me up to hang out.   however, i had to tell him kaela n' i had plans, as we did.   i do still wanna hang out w/ johnny some time!

here's a question 4 u: do ne of u think it's wrong to be "incestuous"? heh, of course, i'm not talkin' 'bout real incest; rather, i'm talkin' 'bout when a gurl n' guy of the same social group get 2gether as a couple.   what r ur thoughts on that?   what's "incest" neway?! i mean, isn't it normal to be somewhat friends b4 getting into a relationship 2gether?   like, unless u'r the type to pick up on guys/gurls @ nite clubs or sumpthin', right?   i mean, how many real relationships 'round here start from a pick up in a nite club or even from dates?!   'mongst most of my circles of friends in my time in san jo (in hi skool) n' in berkeley (college n' beyond), most of the relationships i've cn started from some kind of friendship 1st.   some kind... however, u know, in ne of my relationships, me n' my significant other were never really close friends b4 we got 2gether, i guess.   neway, it's all interesting to c soap opera, 90210 relationships, but like... me, i'm not gonna bag on ne1 4 being incestuous.   sometimes it's funny tho'... it's ok just to step back n' laff @ life sometimes, u know?   so uh... what do u think of this topik?   i'd love it if ppl actually responded to this question, but eh! i'm resigned to thinking that ppl prob'ly won't. :-/ hrm, now that's just stinkin' thinkin', ain't it? :-)

i think jerome was the last to sign the gbook.   c? he's kewl... the rest of u all suck! ...like lenny n' carl! ...please don't tell lenny n' carl n' sed that! <:-( ha ha, uh... that was just an overdrawn simpsons joke... u guys don't suck @ all.   if u r reading this journal @ all, u r worthwhile ppl. :-) neway, please sign the gbook when u've got time.   i'd like to change the questions 'gain soon.

man, it's 124p now, n' kaela n' i haven't gotten our day started yet!!!   @ 400p, we have a apptmnt w/ a wedding fotographer, n' then we've gotta hurry over to a graduation party which also start @ 400p.   how's my life right now? *sigh* these r days i'll remember, i guess. what else can i say?   i'm sure lots'f ppl'd criticise my life, saying i suck cos i don't have a super career job right now n' i'm not in grad skool. :-( what can i say? some things just take time to develop, n' there r some things i've gotta do now cos i can't do them later n'... *sigh* yah, it's a crazy life, but i'm just trying to get by.

my back is still sore.   it definitely survived snowboarding n' felt fine yesterday.   however, it's still a li'l sore when i bend this way or that. *shrug* ugh! why is my netwerk connection so slow right now?!   well, what should i eat?   i already ate 3 blueberry waffles n' some cherries.   was that breakfast?   should i cook some pasta? *shrug* nuts, i just took 2 advils.   *sigh* i hate giving in to advil addiction!   heh, where's that organic pharmacy when u need it? ha ha ha. just kidding.

so 4 some reason, lately i've had probs w/ my microsoft optical internet explorer mouse ; the 5.button optical wheel mouse that many of us cm to have.   some time this week the cable from the mouse to the computer cmed to have some sort of faulty connection till i pushed on the cable, like pushed it "into" the mouse, u know?   it's hard to explain... n' then 2day it was behaving as if the left click button was stuck down! ugh... heh, some of u'll just say microsoft just makes crappy produkts! ha ha ha.   well, shoot! if mandrake or redhat or whatever makes an optical mouse, show it to me! >X-D ha ha ha. well, shoot! ain't that the pt? why is an os company making mice?!   man, where's my paycheck? like, i got it in the mail, n' then i didn't really pay attention to it cos i knew i wouldn't have time to go to the bank 4 a while... now uh... where is it?   it's here somewhere.   *sigh* how does this place get so messy so fast?! 147p: uh... ok, why is my windows flippin' out right now??? ha, i never sed windows was a good os... i know i have some loyal linux fans 'mongst my readers.   neway... shoot! i've gotta get some things done. ttyl. or... should i say, "smell ya later"? smell ya later!

1004a: i'm actually admitting that i think i've been partying 2 much lately.   i feel i have lots'f tasks to get done, but i was off partying 2 much this weekend. *sigh* geez, if beno admits it, it must be true, right? <:-( yesterday, the beautiful kaela kang n' i went to a mtg w/ a wedding fotographer @ 400p n' then hurried off to romy's graduation party in walnut creek, which also started @ 400p.   the fotographer's werk looked really good, n' i was glad to c she's willing to get personal w/ her clients instead of treating it as pure bizness.   that's good.   i don't wanna hafta deal w/ greedy, $$$.minded vendors. *roll eyes* well, we still gotta shop 'round tho'.   romy's party was fun.   we had lots'f vegetarian fud as well as some cold cuts on a sandwich platter thingy.   neway, i like how the fud was pretty healthy! :-)   kaela n' i got to talk to lots'f friends, n' the 2 of us played a li'l badminton on the lawn.   playing badminton felt a li'l like being a kid in san jo 'gain, growing up in a place where there's 'nuff land to have lawns n' play badminton... unlike berkeley.   we stayed @ romy's party till like 900p, when it ended.   toby called me n' told me to come over to his place to c his sister's cockatiel petey.   we went over.   apparently, jeff (his neighbour n' a guy i've known since hi skool in san jo) was throwing a moderate.size graduation / end of the semester party of some sort.   we hung out there after playing w/ petey (who is a female, lutina cockatiel. [is lutina the wurd 4 a female lutino?])   it was definitely a college party, n' we met some new ppl.   it's not all that often where i'm in that situation.   i know sometimes i get into that "clique" mentality where i just hang out w/ the same ppl all the time... which is fine in that i like to make strong friendships... but i know it's not good to 4get how to make new friends or just be a social person in general.

1023a: neway, geez... i've got lots'f werk to catch up on. :-( it's tues, the day after memorial day.   outside it's rather overcast n' gloomy.   we've gotta do laundry n' other housechores, but i wonder if we'll get to them 2day. *shrug* in a way, i feel really discouraged n' frustrated that i'm so behind in lots'f tasks i've been meaning to do.   however, i know i shouldn't let it get me down n' that i should just trudge on 4ward.

[later] 1214p: i've decided to change my winxp background pic.   till now, it's been "ascent.bmp," which came w/ winxp.   it's a pic of a big, snow covered mountain.   it sort'f reminds me of snowboarding, but it's more of a huge mtn like mt. everest or sumpthin'.   now i want some sort'f kaelapic as my desktop pic, but hrm... which 1? *shrug*

[later] 448p: well, i got some stuff done 2day, such as the ucmap wutc demo soundtrack; i.e. the new version of it.   we have a li'l over 0.5 hr b4 the black belt mtg.   argh! how does time just disappear 'round here?! argh! i'm a li'l frustrated... :-( *sigh* neway, i really like burdies.   here's a pic of me w/ toby's sister's cockatiel petey:

beno w/ petey the cockatiel
(pic taken by kaela kang)

103a: :-o it's may 29 already?!?!?! crazy! *sigh* how is it that i'm back to being shocked by the date every day.   that's not good.   my back is sore.   i took advil 2ice 2day, i think.   oh wait, no! it was just 1nce.   in the afternoon, i took my dose of 2 advils.   well, a li'l while 'go, the beautiful kaela kang made me take a 1 pill dose of her naprosin.   she got that 4 her wrist injury.

well, yesterday, i spent much of the day retooling the ucmap wutc demo musik, as i sed.   i put in some ol' trance songs... i knew yoon sabuhmnim wouldn't like them cos whenever i use those songs 4 demos he complains.   i just needed to fill some time to extend the demo musik.   well, 2nite (meaning last nite) @ demo practice, he made it a pt to tell me he doesn't like those trance songs.   i wish he knew that there were some more korean gayo songs @ the end of this version of the soundtrack.   somehow the demo runthrus were shorter last 2nite (meaning last nite), so he never got to hear the end of the soundtrack. *sigh* well... heh... more mixing to do, eh?

the big news of 2nite (meaning last nite), which we heard @ the black belt mtg b4 the promotional ceremony, is that yoon sabuhmnim is leaving ucmap / berkeley taekwondo. :-( *sigh* that's 2 bad.   i was pretty happy when he got here cos he had been a familiar face ever since i 1st met him @ martial arts summer camp.   since then, he kept popping up everywhere: @ all the tournaments i went to n' even in korea on the 1999 korea trip. *sigh* man... i've been in ucmap taekwondo 4 a long time, huh?   however, heh, of course there r ppl who have been in it much longer.   i think dave currie n' dr. lieu have been the most consistent thru.out the time i've been in berkeley taekwondo.   they r both really great guys, n' i'm very glad that they werkout w/ me!   i've been in berkeley taekwondo since the fall of 1993.   i've never taken a break since then n' have been continuously enrolled.   crazy, huh? almost 10 yrs now... well, let's make it to 9 1st. ha ha.

right b4 the black belt mtg b4 the promotional ceremony, while walking from the car to the rsf, kaela told me she got a fon msg 'bout a job opportunity 4 her in ventura county.   ventura county? where's that?   i know it's socal... is it like by magic mtn? *shrug* or is it like glendale, etc.? no, that should be l.a. county, right? *shrug* how 'bout northridge, is that ventura county? *shrug* ok, here we go w/ some real answers: ventura county home page.   well, it's a place w/ palm trees, judging from the picture i c.   oh, thousand oaks, simi valley, oxnard; i've heard of those places.   well, since i so far haven't found a good job here in norcal, what's to stop us from taking off 4 socal? :-/ the whole socal v. norcal debate 'gain, eh? *sigh* u know... i have so many attachments to friends... :-( *sigh* it all sounds so stoopid n' silly, huh? :-( there r other things... being close to tahoe, being close to sf, being close to silly valley / sobay... these r all things i love 'bout norcal, as well as being close to places like napa, 0.5 moon bay, monterey/carmel, santa cruz, pt reyes... :-( it's really funny that i heard 'bout this job opportunity/offer right b4 hearing that yoon sabuhmnim is leaving.

well, 2nite's promotional ceremony was very short cos most of the colour belts didn't show up.   dr. min wasn't upset.   i would've thought he'd be very upset 'bout that, but well... as i keep saying, he's much more cheerful now than he was in the past.   after the promotional ceremony, we had a mtg 'bout the wutc, n' then jason led a warmup b4 open werkout.   during jason's warmup i had to take some mugshots 4 ppl's wutc volunteer badges.   lemme think... who told me to do that?   i 4get. *shrug* otherwise, i was gonna warm up w/ the others.   well, we had wutc demo practice later.

after practice, after dropping johnny off @ home, kaela n' i went to safeway to buy some groceries.   of course, we bought more groceries, than i would've wanted to, u know?   i, like most guys, would rather just buy a few things @ a time n' make more frequent trips to the supermarket / grocery store.   kaela, like many women i know, would rather stock up on groceries when she goes to the market. *shrug* it's like men r from norcal n' women r from socal! ha ha ha, just kidding.

[later] 211a: well, i just wrote an e.mail to the demo team talkin' 'bout upcoming practices n' yoon sabuhmnim's departure, etc. *sigh* it feels weird to talk 'bout.

[later] 225p: man... i've been thinking, n' i feel weird. :-/ geez, rn't i @ some major x.roads in my life right now?!?! rn't i?   however, i don't feel as weird... well, not until i think 'bout it.   like, most of the time i feel com4table.   do i feel more patient n' hopeful now than i did back when i actually wrote "beno at the crossroads"? *shrug* man, that picture! my hair's so poofy! ha ha.   that shirt, i still wear that shirt very often.   wow, i bought that shirt while i was still going out w/ my exgf?! well, i obviously bought it right b4 we broke up.   i think i bought it while shopping alone, actually.   i'm pretty sure i bought it @ macy's in walnut creek's broadway plaza mall.   ha ha ha! i still have a pager in that pic, worn in my jeans pocket! ha ha ha. *sigh* ah, those were the days, eh? X-) well, i ought to be asleep.   however, i don't wanna go to sleep on a full stomach.   u c, kaela n' i cooked some pasta 2nite, so well... i ate 'lot.   b4 the pasta was done, i ate some safeway brand hawaiian kettle corn.   *sigh* i'm s'pposed to go to 630a taekwondo practice in 'bout 4 hrs. nuts.

[later] 1048a: so i went to 630a taekwondo practice.   'twas just me n' dr. lieu.   the other 2 couldn't make it.   dr. lieu werked on my basic techniques.   black belts all 2 often think they don't need to werk on their basic techniques.   yah, we can be really egotisitical sometimes. *roll eyes* well, i'm glad dr. lieu expressed his opinion that black belts should do their basic techniques differently from color belts.   well, he didn't mean just "better," by "diff," no.   what he meant is that there r some things we teach to color belts to promote good form, but now that we're more advanced, we can modify certain things to make the techniques either more effective or better looking.   that makes me feel better that i'm gonna be changing some things in my basic techniques that'll be somewhat diff from what i usually teach my students to do, i guess.   well, when i left the rsf n' came home, i took a nap.

check out this article on y!: "fake u-turn sign made for real tickets." this happened in marin county; funny.   ah, marin county; i haven't been there in a while.

[later] 1207p: so tim "buttface" chen's coming to berkeley to take me out to lunch, as he promised a while 'go.   where should we go? *shrug* 1213p: of course, i have lots'f stuff to do 2day.   i'm considering going out n' buying a weight lifting belt n' wearing it everywhere to give myself some back support. :-(

[later] 622p: 4 lunch, tim n' i 168ed.   tim was so excited to c taiwanese fud on the menu, he ordered 2 much.   i was so full.   young n' tiffany came into 168.   tim n' i caught up w/ each other talked 'bout "where r they now?" kind'f stuff.   tim dropped me off after lunch.

then kaela n' i had some errands to do.   we browsed thru petco.   i got a flat tire in the pinole target parking lot. [later, 738p] i quickly used u "fix.a.flat" can to fix this flat, then drove 'cross the street to the shell gas station to put in a li'l more air.   on the way home, kaela talked 'bout the ventura county job, n' that just made me feel crappy n' sent me into crisis mode.

[later] 1139p: so @ target in pinole, i bought a weightlifting belt to support my back since it's so messed up.   well, kaela n' i went to the rsf to recruit hankido volunteers @ their promotional ceremony, but they weren't ready, so we went home to get ready 4 practice 1st.   then we came back to the rsf, collected volunteers from hankido n' judo, n' did some officewerk.   then we had a bit of a rushed demo team practice.   we have a demo on fri @ grant elementary skool.   phew! yah, i know... :-( we r all so bizzy... but it's the right thing to do.   it's a very good cause, a demo 4 elementary skool students.   we've gotta do it.

so... :-/ i felt like such crap 2day cos kaela sez she's considering that ventura county job.   *sigh* really, i don't wanna move... but i dunno... late in the nite, after demo practice, i managed to push the idea out of my mind 4 the time being.

205a: so last nite, @ practice, i wore my weightlifting belt that i bought @ target.   i wore it under my dobok, over my white undershirt.   i'm sure ppl couldn't notice it.   it sort'f felt like i was wearing a corset or girdle or whatever.   my back felt better cos i was wearing it.   right now, as i'm typing, i'm wearing it.   b4 practice, last nite, roland gave me a bag of potato chips: kettle classics brand cholula potato chips.   cholula is a brand of mexican hot sauce i love to use on my burritos n' tacos.   apparently this bag of gourmet chips has an extra packet of cholula hot sauce inside! :-)

beno n' the chips roland gave him

[later, after a shower] 242p: there was an ugly spider in the bathroom.   i think i killed it.   big guys like this 1 take multiple hits to kill, u know?   u gotta, beat them to death! ha ha ha.

[later] 331a: there was some big, yucky bug in our bedroom, n' kaela called me in to kill it.   i swatted @ it in the air, but i couldn't get a good hit off of it. :-(   it cmed to try to attack me 2. :-/

[later] 1243p: i'm 'gain sittin' @ my 'puter w/ my weightlifting belt on... it's funny to say "i'm sitting @ my 'puter w/ my weightlifting belt on," isn't it?   it's my "back brace," i suppose. *shrug*   last nite, i was chatting over e.mail w/ perry, n' he asked if i have icq.   i told him i didn't install icq on my latest 'puter, n' then i went 'head n' installed icq on my handspring .   ah, i just reached into the clean laundry hamper, pulled out my structure drawstring pants, n' put 'em on.   they r still sort'f warm from being dried last nite... n' i don't mean late last nite.   it's crazy how long dried clothes can keep heat.   well, we studied thermal resistance in heat transfer class... that's what it's called, right? i'm talkin' 'bout when u stack up slices of pizza, n' then they end up staying warm cos u have a series of resistors instead of parallel resistors.   i have my "back brace" on, but my back hurts more than last nite.   it's prob'ly cos i haven't taken ne advil or uh... naprosin yet. *sigh* i hate being a frickin' druggie! :-(

do u guys use icq?   or do u use aol instant messenger, which we call "a.i.m."?   well, i could also install a.i.m. on my handspring.   should i?

[later] 119p: mmm... smoothies! the beautiful kaela kang washed the dishes, i put away laundry n' cleaned the stovetop n' counter, n' then i made banana/strawberry/orange smoothies! mmmm... they're so good! :-)   toby gave us this blender as an apt.warming gift, n' we use it so much! :-)

check out this y! news article: "arizona shuts down firm in alleged penis pill scam." "The initial cost of the pills was $59.99, plus shipping and handling for a month's supply and $39.99 a month thereafter. Records showed the pills cost $2.50 per bottle to manufacture.   The company also allegedly sold pills that supposedly guaranteed height increases and bigger breasts, officials said." it's sad; these ppl made so much $$$ off of ppl's insecurities.   i guess plastic surgeons sometimesmake $$$ off of ppl's insecurities.   however, that's a more "what u c is whatchu get" situation.   funny, on the side of the article, i have an ad 4 some weight loss program.   the add has a pic of a green zucchini n' it sez "show some skin: lose weight today."   the zucchini is so phallic! funny.

man, why did so many bugs come into our apt last nite?   this morn, i swatted a big mosquito.   i dunno: r those mosquitos or "mosquito eaters," as i 'member kids called them when i was a kid.   as a kid, i heard those giant mosquitos don't bite. *shrug* i don't know.   where's an entymologist when u need 1?

[later] 347p: so i've been spending the afternoon building kaela's new 'puter.   my manager from my uh... werk, if that's what i'm s'pposed to call it these days, called me; so i'm gonna go werk on mon.   i saw a yellow jacket or hornet or sumpthin' in our bedroom.   man! where's that boy w/ my entymologist?!   i guess that was the beast that attacked me last nite!   i got it to go 2ward the window.   then i opened the window.   i think it left.   well, i'm glad i didn't get stung.   @ 1st, i thought it was a moth, but i was curious 'bout how aggressive it was.   it knew it had some means of self.defense, such as its stinger. a.ha!

[later] 442p: been werkin' on kaela's puter all afternoon.

653p: it's my mom's b.day.   happy b.day! :-)   the beautiful kaela n' i have a present 4 her, n' we hope we can c her soon to give it to her. :-)

so 2day was a day full of taekwondo 4 me.   i woke up @ uh... like 630a.   i hurried off to the rsf to meet up w/ dr. lieu, but i also needed to drop kaela off @ her werk.   i practiced w/ just dr. lieu as the other 2 that r trying to promote 4 higher degree black belts weren't able to come.   well, after that practice, i picked kaela up from yali's café, drove home, n' took a nap.   heh, ppl kept calling n' interrupting my nap.   s'all good. heh.   well, i went to the rsf 'gain @ a li'l after 1100a to meet up w/ the demo team to get ready 4 master royce's grant elementary skool demo.   we practiced a li'l, loaded up the cars, went to the demo, did the demo, ate some subway sandwiches, n' stayed to teach the kids a li'l bit.   well, lots'f demo team members left b4 teaching the kids class, but some of us stayed.   it was a good experience.   man, i really respekt master royce 4 contributing so much time to teach kids.   after teaching the kids, kaela n' i met up w/ doug @ the skool to werk on our smithsonian demo material.   crazy, huh? so much taekwondo 2day!

then we drove the taekwondo club puzzle mats back to the rsf.   some of the demo team members met us there to help unload them.   oh, they also picked up some ben & jerry aisukuriimu 4 us. mmmm... i had some mango.lime sorbet.   oh yah... ha ha, the subway sandwiches: johnny ordered them 4 us.   he had asked me what i wanted n' i sed a turkey sandwich on wheat.   then i added that i wanted swiss cheese.   he then asked, "anything else?"   i replied, "no, just that."   i thought he was asking if i wanted a drink or chips or nething.   he thought i meant i didn't want ne lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, peppers, mayo, mustard... d.oh!   man, i love peppers! i love veggies! heh, it was a very dry sandwich, i gotta admit. oh well.

after doing the taekwondo demo, my back didn't feel so bad.   i went ahead n' took off my back support after teaching the kids, b4 practicing w/ doug 4 the smithsonian demo.

[later] 828p: ah, i just showered.   i feel so much better. :-) i think we're gonna watch spiderman 2nite. *shrug*

1255p: >:-/ why haven't we gotten our day started yet? :-(   last nite, the beautiful kaela kang n' i went to watch spiderman w/ raymond @ amc 1000 van ness.   we gave jacky from demo team a ride to sf cos he lives in sf.   he took the bus home from the movie theatre n' didn't watch the movie w/ us.   kaela n' i had boba drinks from teazone downstairs in venture frogs.   i also bought some nachos from the snack bar.   spiderman was a pretty entertaining movie; i'm glad we saw it while it's still new etc.   u know, i really liked spiderman, but i'm still all hyped 'bout episode 2: attack of the clowns.   <:-/ when will i ever c a movie that'll top attack of the clowns?   i really liked it, u know.   i really wanna watch it 'gain n' this time in digital.

well, after the movie, kaela n' i went to her friend maria's party.   we chatted w/ hankido guy kevin there 4 a while.   since we got there late, the party was sort'f disbursing right then.   we were pretty much the last to leave but we had time to chat w/ maria, her bf alex, their n' friend megan n' carl, who really looks like silent bob.   ince he's really into comic books, i kind'f think that must'f been the look he was going 4. *shrug*

u know, i don't talk 'bout the colour of mucus on my webpage, but i know of better ways to gross u guys out: i can ramble on 'bout my handspring !!!   that'll always gross u guys out, right?   well, yesterday, after i got home from the 630a taekwondo werkout, i freaked cos my handspring had some major crash error on it... the equivalent to a bsd (blue screen of death), but maybe worse cos the soft reset wasn't clearing the error... i had to hard reset it to recover.   man, i'm glad i have the memplug cf card reader that w/ the pitech software that made backing up my handspring really easy. phew!   i wish fixing windows probs were this easy.

[later] 1113p: sometime 'round 111p, this afternoon, kaela came up to my 'puter, n' took a bunch'f pics on my webcam. :-) i love kaelapics!

then we took some neoprint style pics 2gether. :-/ why do i look so dorky?   some dorky nerd next to a supermodel...

well, after that, i shut off my 'puter n' we took of 4 the sobay.   we stopped in milpitas, had lunch @ tk noodles in the 99 ranch mall; then went to david's bridal n' petsmart in the mccarthy ranch strip mall.   then we went to michael's.   we were in there 4 a long time.   i saw so much arts n' crafts stuff, i felt like i had to be a gurl scout troop leader or sumpthin'!   can dads be gurl scout leaders? :-/ prob'ly not, huh?   then we went to san jo, to babies r us n' party city.   then we met my mom 4 dinner in the 99 ranch mall in cupertino.   we had dinner @ uh... i dunno 'xactly the name of the place.   we had tons of fud.   we gave my mom her b.day presents: a canon elph 370z camera.   it is the only aps camera w/ 3x zoom.   it looks to me to be a pretty kewl camera.   i hope she likes it.   we also gave her a foto album to put pics of her future grandson.   after dinner, kaela n' i strolled 'round the mall.   we got free boba drinks from the tea place there... the 1 that isn't fantasia... oh yah... qzone or sumpthin'.   as i can't read chinese, i have no clue why there were giving away mini boba drinks.   however, i'm assuming it was their anniversary 2day or sumpthin'.   we got our free drinks n' strolled 'round looking @ giant plush mashimaro toys.   then i drove back to berkeley.   i had to stop in a pretty ruff neighbourhood to get a li'l gas.   i filled up really fast n' got outta there.

925p: ugh, i'm so stuffed.   the beautiful kaela kang cooked some kalgooksoo n' strawberry.banana smoothies, n' i made some ore.ida fries. :-) ok, the fries don't quite qualify as cooking, eh? ha ha.   well, the fries were so much crispier than i expected... baked fries! who would've guessed?! :-) ugh, i'm so stuffed! :-/

so i've been having a li'l conflict w/ my handspring... :-/ i think it was cos'f aol instant messenger; i had all these errors... but then i took off aol im, but uhm... like after having to juggle apps on n' off the handspring in the process of fixing the prob, my hantip korean font program doesn't werk like it used to.   now i cm to be only able to use this small font.   the small font is good cos i can fit more wurds in a smaller space, right? but then sometimes it looks 2 small. :-( *shrug* dunno what to do.

so 2day, i got kaela's 'puter running. yay! burdy! yay! i did a fresh install of winxp.   after that, we went to our smithsonian institute demo practice.   that was the 1st full practice that kaela made it to.   i think ppl were very relieved to c her.   actually multilingual pat from hankido joined 4 the 1st time 2day.   i'm glad he's coming w/ us.   he's actually coming as an aikido specialist, but we chose him cos he's good @ many martial arts n' might be able to fill in 4 ne of us if ne of us get injured, god 4bid.   after practice, i hurried us home to catch the latter half of the simpsons.

so bronx's gonna have 'nother summer bbq.   woohoo! :-) well, we can have it sometime while kaela n' i rn't in d.c.

so we're watching this bachelorettes show on fox ktvu 2.   do u like reality tv?   hrm, i guess some ppl'd think i would cos i have an online journal n' all... however, 4 the most part i don't like reality tv.   the way i c it, many of these ppl don't deserve to be on tv n' r 2 egotistical.   beno doesn't deserve to be on the net n' is 2 egotistical. X-D ha ha ha. *sigh* i especially don't like these reality tv shows that supposedly lead to marriages. eck! to me that's very... 1) unromantic, 2) cheap n' gaudy, 3) sacrilegious, n' 4) just plain nasty, ick, ick, ick! oh well... what right do i have to criticise tv, eh?

last nite on mad tv there was this funny skit called devon's creek, pronounced devon in the african.american style.   the skit was supposed to be about a wb tv show - obviously a copy of dawson's creek - that promises to incorporate more african.american actors/actresses.   the gag was that the african.american actors, altho' true to their roots in rl (real life), had to act really ned flandersish on camera... basically the characters weren't "black," as i guess ppl'd say.   in the skit, the actors were really pissed 'bout that etc., that they had to act all "white."   2day while in the kitchin, i was thinking, "hrm, u know? ain't that the dilemma that many asian actors face as just an accepted way of life in amerika?" like, i know so many asian.americans who r very fed up w/ the lack of asian.americans in tv shows n' movies n' very fed up that the asian.americans in tv shows n' movies don't properly represent them n' their ethnic community. *shrug* yah, it sure is a topik of conversation, eh?

oh, i just heard on the ktvu 10 o.clock news that the sacramento kings lost the playoff series w/ to the lakers. *shrug* oh well.   i really don't pay attn to pro sports. *shrug* [later] 1015p ugh, i'm so thirsty!   ah, water. :-) hrm, why doesn't joon update?! *sigh* ok, i don't cm to have much good to say right now, eh? ha ha.

[later] 1112p: oh yah; last nite, after mad tv, kaela n' i watch a philadelphia story w/ cary grant, katherine hepburn, n' jimmy stewart.   i like cary grant; he reminds me of chow yun fat.   does that make ne sense to ne1 other than me?!?!   hrm, i wonder what'd be an easy way 4 me to convert a short .avi file to an animated .gif.   that'd be fun.

1242p: wow!   i c moonhee kang's back online w/ his illustrated journal!   woohoo! i like moonhee's illustrated journal! :-)

[later] 143p: i ate togo's 4 lunch, a small #15 meal.   full.

142p: yesterday, jerome called me up n' sed he n' laura were having a "hotdog party" @ his place.   "a whah?" i thought n' in some manner or 'nother sed.   he explained that laura had a buncl'f leftover hotdogs, so they were invitinq ppl over to eat them.   well, i was @werk.com yesterday, as i am 2day, as i will be 2morrow n' thurs, i believe.   werk is good cos it pays me.   yah, in some ways, in the past few mins, i got nostalgic 4 the days when i 'least sort'f felt like mr. moneybags cos the tech industry was boomin' like a big subwoofer etc. *sigh* yah, 4 a sec, i really missed being able to go to valley fair mall or downtown sf's sf fashion centre n' union square n' feel like i really had $$$ to $pend.   ah, those r but frivolous things!   happiness is an updated web journal, chances to visit petco locations that actually sell pets, n' a healthy back.   it's 155p, n' i haven't eaten lunch yet.   "happiness is a warm puppy."   isn't that a charlie brown thing?   happiness is a superpowered handvac.   our dirt devil ultra's broken.   it has a bent shaft that's makes it growl n' vibrate.   i'm wonderinq when i can afford a dirt devil platinum force.

it's 231p, n' i've still not had lunch.   "happiness is a warm puppy" is indeed a poem by charles m. schulz:

happiness is a warm puppy
by charles m. schulz

happiness is:

a thumb and a blanket
an umbrella and a new raincoat
a pile of leaves
a warm puppy
an "a" on your spelling test
finding someone you like at the front door
three friends in a sandbox ... with no fighting
sleeping in your own bed
a chain of paper clips
getting together with your friends
a smooth sidewalk
finally getting the sliver out
a climbing tree
lots of candles
being able to reach the doorknob
knowing all the answers
a night light
some black, orange, yellow, white and pink jelly beans, but no green ones
the hiccups ... after they've gone away
a good old fashioned game of hide and seek
a fuzzy sweater
a bread and butter sandwich folded over
knowing how to tie your own shoes
walking in the grass in your bare feet
eighteen different colors
a piece of fudge caught on the first bounce
finding the little piece with the pink edge and part of the sky and the top of the sailboat
finding out you're not so dumb after all
thirty-five cents for the movie, fifteen cents for popcorn and a nickel for a candy bar
one thing to one person and another thing to another person

yesterday, the beautiful kaela kang went to the hotdog party, altho' i couldn't.   when i got home, i ate a hotdog n' werked on the wutc volunteers committee stuff.   kaela n' i were late to 830p demo practice cos'f this.   nuts.   the rsf closes so early in the summer.   yesterday, i overslept n' missed 630a taekwondo shimsa group practice.   only 1 person of the 3 of us showed up; just that person n' dr. lieu. nuts.   after demo practice, kaela n' i ate a red baron frozen pizza.   red baron frozen pizza actually tastes like frozen pizza.   this morn, b4 werk, i ate a cold slice of pizza.   i'd like a cold slice of pizza, a hot dog, or a warm puppy right now.   a smoothie'd be good 2.

ah, 'member when i 1st got my handspring n' all i used it 4 was as a "pda" n' 4 games? ha ha ha.   that cms like ages 'go now! *sigh*

[later] 334p: where am i?   i'm @ the emeryville publik market, ehere i've stopped 4 lunch b4 going to compusa n' officemax to return stuff.   i'm gonna eat sweis's gyros meal 4 lunch.   a tv 's playing the korea-poland world cup game on a spanish station, n' a coupl'f korean ajoomas r watlhing it. 353p: i just saw the 1st goal go in, made by the korean team of course (by some "hwang" guy) .   heh, the ajoomas were all clapping n' cheering. :-) well, how's sweis's gyros?   the meat is good; it's kronos brand gyros meat of course.   the pita is decent greek pita.   i'm glad they don't use the middle.eastern kind, even tho' i think tho is actually a midde eastern joint, as they also have falafels n' hummus etc.   i don't like they put lettuce in the gyros n' greek salad.   i don't think real greek fud as much lettuce: cucumbers, yes; but no lettuce. *shrug* ok, i guess it's time to blow this joint.   i already know how this game ends thanks to joon's journal! :-)

[later] 435p: ok, i finished my return biz.   on the way to this emeryville stripmall, i saw a seagull w/ what appearead to be a broken wing.   poor burdy!   i hope a burd specialist takes care of it!   i noticed that the future emeryville mall'll not only have an amc theatre, it'll have a br!

[later] 538p: on my way to emeryville from werk.com, i had to cross the san rafael-richmond bridge.   on the bridge, there was a cop, so every1 was driving pretty sow.   i was stuck behind this white pickup truck.   it had a cute doggy in it, a white doggy w/ black ears.   snoopy, right? :-) however, it wasn't a beagle.   now i'm home.   it's so hot in here!   toby left a bottle of listerine on our doorstep.   last week sometime, i asked him to buy me some listerine from costco.   what a nice guy!

345p: i'm just sleepwalking 2day. :-( only slept 4 like 3 hrs last nite! :-(

1240a: so yesterday, i went to 630a taekwondo practice.   i didn't sleep much cos i was werkin' on some random things last nite: both taekwondo things n' job search things.   i went to werk after that, i stopped by home, changed, n' did a few things.   the beautiful kaela kang came to corte madera to lunch w/ me.   we went to fresh choice cos kaela was in the mood 4 salad.   man, it was so bizzy there.   yah, i guess many ppl were in the mood 4 salad.   i didn't eat 2 much cos i felt a li'l stomach sick.   it could've been caused by ne of a few things: 1) lack of sleep, 2) the fact that when i eat one-a-day vitamins w/o fud my stomach feels queasy, 3) the backsupport belt.   i was wearing the backsupport belt under my normal clothes, i had made it quite tight, so it was sort'f squeezing my ribs.   i just didn't feel like eating much.

yesterday, i did some research on the net 'bout health things.   i wondered by my back pains n' my uncontrollable twiching right eyelid... which is not twitching right now... but twitches now n' then.   i found a few postings on the internet that i thought were rather interesting.   check out these 2 postings on diet coke n' eyelid twitching:
http://med-aapos.bu.edu/publicinfo/store5/DietCoke11.33AM.html
http://med-aapos.bu.edu/publicinfo/store5/DietCoke7.26PM.html
then check out this posting: http://med-aapos.bu.edu/publicinfo/store5/VitaminCHelps12.05AM.html
so not only am i thinking of cutting out aspartame n' diet coke, i'm thinking of overdosing on vitamin c.   it's not good to overdose on vitamin c tho'.   if u overdose on vitamin c, ur body cuts down its absorption of vitamin c 4 a while. :-(
n' 1 last link: http://www.kellogg.umich.edu/conditions/oculoplastics/eyelid.spasm.html

so yah... i was actually thinking 'bout health stuff 2day. crazy.

check out this link: http://www.networkadvertising.org/optout_nonppii.asp.   here, u supposedly can opt out of all sorts'f annoying web advertisements. *shrug* we'll c if it werks.

well, 2nite (as in last nite), after i groggily woke up from my post.werk nap, we went to taekwondo demo team practice.   in the early evening, kaela went to go swim.   then she came home, n' we went to practice.   after practice, we came home n' ate chili dogs, smoothies, n' baked fries.   crazy, huh?   how can we eat so much so late @ nite, huh?   the chili dogs were made w/ lowfat turkey chili! :-) that's good.

[later] 159a: ooh! i just installed tealecho on my handspring .   the tealecho hack makes ur palm handheld show u exactly whatchu wrote in the graffiti area.   i didn't dl the latest version.   i was reading some korean page 'bout palm os software, n' i dled the version they had there then later realised that the tealpoint company website has a much more recent version. *shrug* oh well.   this tealpaint software looks interesting.

[later, 236a] 'puter health: man, ppl have been sending me lots'f viruses lately!   man, i'm so glad i haven't caught nething yet! *crosses fingers*

125a:" i forbid you to consort with that duck."   i think that quote's from babe   well, i have many things to tell u, many important things, but i'm just 2 bizzy discussing quotes from babe, i guess.   uhm, u do know the kpix channel 5 tv show evening magazine's coming to the uc berkeley taekwondo club 2morrow morn to host their news magazine show w/ our demo team n' jason han as the backdrop!   yah, we've known 'bout this 4 a while, but i dunno if i've talked 'bout it much here or not.   they'll tape 2morrow morn @ 1000a, but they won't air the episode till early next week: mon nite, i believe. *shrug* this'll be fun! :-) oh! gotta take my advil now 4 2morrow, huh? *sigh* advil.

2day, the beautiful kaela kang n' i went to rubio's mexican restaurant in the new el cerrito plaza 4 lunch. mmm! it was good!   then, we both got haircuts @ the ashby supercuts.   then we looked @ the wonderful critters @ "your basic bird," a petstore on college.   so many cuts burdies!   so many smart, well.trained burdies!!!   :-/ i want a pet!   yes, parrotlets r cute!   @ this store, we saw a cute, big cockatoo.   it co$ts $1400! crazy, huh?   it's so cute tho'.   anthony doe called me, n' we chatted.   after the petstore, i dropped kaela off @ werk n' went home to take care of wutc biz.   then i picked kaela up from werk.   later, we went to taekwondo practice.   it was so fun to c anthony! :-)   well, what time is it?   200a.   oh! my advil!   ok, i should go to sleep.   advil? or naproxen? *shrug* how 'bout just advil?

[much later] 642p: so we did the evening magazine demo, n' i only took advil, no naproxen. :-)   the demo went great!   i missed 630a morn practice 'gain. :-( kaela told me to wake her up n' bring her w/ me to the rsf, but neither of us woke up, i guess. *sigh* well, we got there right b4 the planned mtg time of 830a.   well, i had to move my car @ 900a off the street into the rsf garage @ the meters.   we practiced a li'l b4 the camera crew got there.   then we saw cameras n' knew we'd be on soon.   well, it was a diff kind of event 4 us.   we didn't do our normal demo.   instead, the kpix ppl set us up 4 short li'l segments.   it was kewl.   malou nubla did not make it due to illness, but mike rowe did.   mike's a really nice guy n' werked w/ us well.   kaela had raymond take some pics of us 2 w/ mike.   also, both of us got a bunch'f fotos n' video clips on her camera.   maybe someday u'll get to c them. *shrug*

after the demo, johnny, michelle, raymond, kaela, n' i went to the pinole in.n.out.   mmm... burgers. ha ha ha.   then we went to best buy n' fooled 'round w/ their video games 4 a while.   smash bros: mélée!   it was fun.   then we drove back to berkeley.   i dropped, raymond, johnny, n' michelle off.   then, kaela n' i went to get boba drinks.   it feels so good to have 2 of the 3 spring/summer demos done! phew!

that's me 2day! :-)

908a: i'd like to find some palm os fax program.   that'd be kewl!

203a: well; yesterday, the beautiful kaela kang n' i were in san jo.   grace n' steve had their baby shower.   we didn't leave 4 san jo on fri nite (aka sat morn) till past midnite cos we were so bogged down w/ wutc volunteer committee biz.   we bought late nite dinner @ the telly ave j.box drive thru.   (j.box = jack in the crack = jack in the box.)   :-( 2 much fastfud!   we ordered a chicken fajita pita sandwich 4 me n' a chicken teriyaki bowl combo 4 kaela.   weird order 4 j.box, eh?   i tried to get us home asap, altho' we had to drive back home after j.box to pick up a few 4gotten things n' had to take a detour off 880 in san jo cos'f construction.

[much later] 118p: so i woke up this morn, a li'l late.   i went to help w/ the setup 4 the wutc.   wow, i can't believe this is all coming 2gether!   it was crazy to c all the nations' flags out, hanging from the railings of haas pavilion.

[later] 916p: it's still pretty warm.   i feel so "ugh!"   i don't feel motivated to do nething.   i feel really sleepytired, yet i know i shouldn't just go to sleep. *shrug* i feel like i should werk on stuff, but ugh! i just can't get myself to do it.   i guess there's laundry to be done, there's housewerk to be done.:-( "ugh," i say! "ugh!" *sigh* :-( after the smithsonian demo practice, where kaela got to c sifu chen's wife's pomeranian puppy, we stopped by sweetheart to get boba drinks n' kingpin to get a dzn donut holes 4 $1.   2 much sugar!   i feel yucky from all that sugar.   :-/ 'member, i'm gonna avoid aspartame 4 a while. *sigh*

[later] 1016p: ok, maybe i'm ready to do the laundry, the whites.   i was just describing to kaela 2 things: 1) how parakeets sometimes chatter by themselves like crazy, n' 2) how a widowed female luvburdy'll sometimes sit, all puffed up, w/ droopy eyelids n' let out the most depressing chirps on a somewhat periodic basis. :-(   when i'd hear n' c my luvburd do that, i'd get down on the ground n' try to cheer her up. <:-)

well, i spent the last few mins making some pics webready.   i wanna share them w/ u.   hrm, i dunno whether to go put the laundry in the machine 1st or what.   i'm worried that a neighbour is already using the machine. *shrug* *sigh* maybe that's just lazytalk. :-( ok, lemme go try to use the laundry machine.

[later] 1045p: ok, i put the laundry in the machine.   i ate some cold leftover noodles (which my mom made 4 the baby shower) 4 dinner.   kaela had some 2, but she warmed hers up in the microwave.   it's so warm right now.   i don't want warm fud. :-/   so howzabout them pics, eh?   ok, lessee:

ok, 'member my 2002.06.04 journal entry, "hot dog, warm puppy"?   well, shoot! please go refer to it now: "hot dog, warm puppy."   thanks.   well, these r some pics from that day.   'member? i went to werk that day, in corte madera, of course.   then i drove to the east bay, went to emeryville, returned stuff @ some stores...   'member? i stopped @ the emeryville publik market to have sweis's gyros 4 lunch while watching the korea v. poland world cup game!   well, let's take a look @ some pics from that day:

this is what i c in the spring/summer while driving home on the 80. (pic taken w/ kaela's digielph.)

this is what i saw out my driverside window right b4 leaving the emeryville publik market. (pic again taken w/ kaela's digielph.)

ok, let's look @ some pics from the baby shower! :-)   well, 1 activity we did was "decorate 'onesies.'"   what r "onesies"?!   onesies r these 1.piece underwear thingies that babies wear.   well, i think grace's friend leena bought a whole bunch'f plain white onesies, n' some of us who stayed into the evening decorated them w/ paint pens.   i wanna show u what i drew! :-)

i drew an airplane flying in a blue, sunny sky past a white, puffy cloud.
(pic taken w/ kaela's digielph.)

kaela took a pic of me, more of a profile shot.
i don't often have pics from this angle.   do i look ok?! :-/

well guys, why dontchu please sign my gbook right now if u haven't in a while.   i should change my gbook questions soon, so well... here's ur last chance! <:-) jerome was the last to sign my gbook.   thanks, jerome. :-)

1209p: how r u?   oh, joon, thanks 4 signing my gbook!   *sigh* i do wish we had time to visit socal n' c joon! :-( someday.   well, joon... would u wanna do a 6 flags magic mtn trip? *shrug*

here's a teknonerd/teknoyuppie article 4 u: "palm software aims to thwart microsoft, spur demand."   heh, go palm!   u know how much i like handspring.   however, i am disappointed w/ their bizness strategies etc.: just 'nother story of good teknology n' bad management :-(   i c sony has some good clié models.   2 bad they use sony memory sticks! :-(

the targus handcam is only $77.97 @ buy.com.   it's been there @ that good price 4 a while now, n' i've obviously been eyeing it since it usually sells even on ebay 4 quite a bit more. *shrug*

ok 'nuff teknonerd/teknoyuppie talk!   silence! :-x   ok, i'll talk 'bout other things.   oh yah, i'm @ werk.com 2day!

[later] 237p: i ate a mcyukyuk's grilled chicken flatbread sandwich meai 4 lunch.   i 1st went to the mall to get a burrito, but the mexican joint is gone, taken out 4 pottery barn expansion! *roll eyes*   i browsed the mall a li'l.   i didn't buy nething.   then i drove south on 101, got $10 of $1.41 gas @ arco, n' got mcyukyuk's drive.thru.

i took some "what's your mental age test" online.   it sez i'm 11. >:-(   lame!   [later] i changed a coupl'f answers, not being unreasonable.   now, it sez i'm 16! X-( d.oh! *sigh* stoopid test!   well, 16 ain't a bad age to be: 1) u can drive, 2) u r past puberty, n' 3) u don't have 2 many responsibilities, relatively speaking.   when i was like... 14 - 18 or so, i would've wanted to be 16 4ever!   now? no, not so much.   i'd still rather be 16 4ever than 12 4ever!   18-21? those yrs r just sort'f blah... well, it' s a good thing that i was in college in those days!   early mid20s?   i'd say those r some rockin' yrs!   u've got $$$ cos u'r outta skool n' werkin'; u can afford to play.   late mid20s?   well, that's life 4 me right now! :-)

[later] 437p: the good thing 'bout being @ werk 2day: air.conditioning!   it's really warm outside.

[later] 1041p: well, sometime just b4 600p, i went out to the bathroom.   i noticed that everything i saw looked a li'l dimmer.   i felt like i was wearing sunglasses, but i wasn't.   oh yah! solar eclipse!!!   i ran in n' told our receptionist, the only other person there @ that time.   she came out to c but wasn't nearly as excited as i was.   i ran in to get some optikal filters to try to look @ the sun.   nuts, the filter i chose was 2 weak.   well, i had to go pee, so i went pee instead of finding 'nother filter.   then i realised it was getting 2 late, so i just packed up my stuff n' went back to berkeley.   after all, i surely didn't wanna miss our berkeley taekwondo demo team's feature on evening magazine!!! :-)   well, i drove home under the solar eclipse sunlite.   i drove to unit 3 to pick up the beautiful kaela kang from where she was werking on registration / check.in 4 the wutc participants.   man, wutc is really 'lott'f werk!!! seriously!   well, we came home, watched ourselves on evening magazine.   then we watched the simpsons, of course.   then we went to yeitnal jjajang 4 dinner.   kaela told me how she got roped into being a tourguide 4 some korean vips next mon or so.   she's wondering if i can go w/ her.   *shrug* that'd be fun, i think.   'member, i always like playing tourguide! :-)

oh, so this morn, i learned that korea n' usa tied in their soccer game.   uhm, i think i read it 1st on johnny chang's website. ha ha. X-D well, lemme share w/ u an e.mail dialogue btwn phil n' me... n' i guess kaela's also in on the conversation, but uh... lemme past what phil wrote 1st n' my response:

phil wrote:
The OC Register did a story on how the lack of diversity hurts Team USA in international soccer.   In particular, how does a nation with so many Hispanics (who tend more to play soccer, and come from good soccer countries) have so few on its national team?

beno responded:
that's true. it's not that hard 4 an azn kid to have li'l respekt 4 the american sport team that doesn't acknowledge that asians can be good athletes. *shrug* why should i watch american tv when they refuse to acknowledge that asian.americans exist? *shrug* do u know how many asians r on the united states collegiate taekwondo team?   1 out of 16.   did that surprise u? yah, rachel marcial, the pilipina.american female finweight, is the only asian.american on the us team, altho' the team has korean.american coaches. the chinese taipei team has a coach w/ a european last name; i don't know who he is. chinese taipei is 1 of the best taekwondo teams.   i didn't c a taiwan flag up in haas pavilion 2day. *shrug* i think i counted like 38 or 39 flags, while i know there r 40 participating countries. *shrug*

sports, sports, sports, sports...   i don't talk that much 'bout sports usually, u know? :-) but well... heh, i sed li'l here, i guess. *shrug*

oh yah, after eating @ yeitnal jjajang, kaela n' i went to pusan market n' bought some groceries.   it's still warm 2nite.   it feels good.   it feels like summer.   it should!   'member? sometimes on the longest day of the yr, i try to get ppl to go out n' enjoy the evening.   what's the longest day of the yr? june 21, right?   well, june 21 is on a fri this yr! woohoo!   we should go out n' enjoy the sun in the evening!   u know... i wonder how many ppl were stuck behind 'puter screens thru.out the whole solar eclipse, stuck indoors.   i wonder how many ppl were like that voluntarily. >:-( man, ppl gotta get out! we gotta get out, go places!   stay @ home? urgh... howzabout going out to new places, living life! shoot! we're young n' free, right?   young n' alive!!!   let's do stuff!!!

take me out tonight
where there's music and there's people
and they're young and alive
driving in your car
i never never want to go home
because i haven't got one
anymore

take me out tonight
because i want to see people and i
want to see life
driving in your car
oh, please don't drop me home
because it's not my home, it's their
home, and i'm welcome no more
-- from the smiths' "there is a light and it never goes out" on their album the queen is dead

i guess i sort'f stole that cd from my sister when she left 4 college.   stole or inherited? *shrug* u decide! X-D ah... college... u 'member college? :-) i think kaela n' i saw calso students 2nite.   we saw some kids wandering telegraph.   they looked like calso kids w/ their counselors. *shrug* (calso = cal student orientation.) the mod classics'll always have a place in my heart, no? (oh, in case that sentence was 2 incohesive 4 u, i was referring 'gain to the smiths' song!)   it's kewl that i'm gonna get to integrate a remix of new order's "confusion" into the smithsonian demo soundtrack.   'pparently doug likes that remix 'lot, as he knows it from the soundtrack to blade.   2day, i was reading on cnn.com 'bout john gotti n' all that mafia stuff.

so 2day was my sister grace's b.day. :-)   happy b.day!

[later] 156a: i'm way 2 bizzy w/ wutc biz to give a proper update.   i hope i can updatechu sooner than later! :-)   man! what a day! *sigh*

329p: still, i'm very, very, very bizzy w/ the wutc .   it's a full time job.   so many of us don't necessarily consider ourselves "career martial artists," yet we're werking full time to put on this tournament. :-/   i really don't have time to write this, but i'm taking a quick stop @ home cos i had to write up a board order 4 demo boards, 1s to use @ the smithsonian institute demos.   *sigh* boy, oh boy! how am i not a "career martial artist"? :-/ well, seriously, i know i'm not... i'm not a 5dan "master" or nething, just a lowly 2dan practitioner, right? :-/ i spend lots'f time doing taekwondo: practicing taekwondo, taking care of taekwondo program bureaucracy, organising taekwondo demos... well, do i get paid? no... i guess that's 1 reason i'm not a "career martial artist."   how can i make a career out of it if i don't get paid, right?   well, me... i really love taekwondo.   i do know, however, that i've gotta let the upper ranks in the taekwondo program realise that the program is really interfering w/ its members careers n' academics!   there r things that rn't quite right.   like, to me... things rn't so bad that i hate doing taekwondo. no way! no way, no way, no way!   however, i definitely must proclaim that the duties of running the taekwondo program r very unfairly distributed. :-(   neway, that's all 'nother story 4 'nother day, u know?

michelle: thanks 4 signing my gbook!!! :-) michelle was such a big help 4 the wutc staff on wed!   thanks 4 ur support!

well, i wanna tell u all 'bout what's going on, but i really don't have time.   i just stopped by home to write up that board order, n' now i've gotta get back to haas pavilion.   i don't even have time to tell u 'bout soyballs!   last nite, the beautiful kaela kang n' i had dinner @ doug's place.   we had dinner w/ his wife, kids, n' in.laws!   man, his in.laws r so interesting cos they were koreans living in 'merica 0.5 a century 'go.   they met in 'merica n' moved back to korea later.   4 the wutc, i've had to do some korean speaking but much less than i expected.   actually, it's really crazy how few koreans we have 'round ucmap these days!   however, many of the koreans r practicing speaking english, i guess... well, like, sometimes i c an old asian man, n' i dunno if he's korean or what, so i don't automatically speak in korean but in english, n' the man'll speak back in english.   there r many more "chinese" countries/teams present, as jerome pointed out: prc (ppl's republic of china), "chinese taipei" (aka taiwan), n' chinese hongkong.   the demo on wed? man, it went great! :-) i'm happy w/ that.   ugh, we had such stress on wed!!!   we really need more volunteers @ the tournament.   from the bottom of my heart, i'm telling u that kaela n' i did everything we could to round up volunteers, but dang! in the middle of the week, ppl hafta werk! there rn't that many volunteers, so when other committee heads or program leaders ask 4 volunteers, we can't always give 'em to them. :-( *sigh* wed was very stressful.   thurs n' 2day? not so bad.   2morrow? well, i'll just hope 4 the best but expect the worst... or 'least prepare 4 the worst.

well, as i don't have time, lemme just show u 3 pics:

i bought this "baekgoo" beaniebabyesque fuzzy from pusan market when we went there on uh... mon nite? no, tues nite

don't worry 'bout my wasting $$$; he was actually really cheap, just $1.99.   good price.   i took him out of his wrapper n' box n' put him in my car.

this is me this afternoon, after going to the bank, after writing up the board order, b4 writing this supposedly short journal entry.

man, i've gotta get outta here.   c u!

111p: happy father's day!

well, the wutc is now over! :-) woohoo! i feel kind'f weird now. ??? whuh?   well, it cms like the wutc totally took away a week from my life, n' i've gotta get all reorganised now, so i'm really lost n' disoriented.   :-/ does this disorientedness have nething to do w/ the drinking games we played w/ the korean team last nite? *shrug* well, i know i've gotta get some things done: 1) i've gotta do the smithsonian institute demo soundtrack.   2) i've gotta go to the smithsonian institute demo practice 2day @ 500p.   3) i've gotta do laundry.   4) i've gotta use the leftover veggies from the baby shower to make pasta.   5) i've gotta make sure my bills r paid.   6) i've gotta plan 4 the rest of my life. ??? huh?   yah, it's a weird feeling, isn't it?   #6; thinking 'bout that really feels weird.   "the rest of my life."   how did the wutc become such a milestone in my life?   i really feel like i've just climbed over a big mtn, n' now i have completely different terrain to go thru, perhaps nicer terrain. *shrug*   it's such a weird feeling.   well, planning 4 the rest of my life includes: 1) planning the wedding, 2) finding a new, better job... what else? i dunno.   i just feel i've gotta find a new routine in life or sumpthin'. *shrug* routines r bad, rn't they?   but hrm... like, 4 the past yr, i've devoted so much time to putting on this international taekwondo tournament... n' now i wanna get back to filling that time that i donated w/ some rather pleasurable, "good life" kind'f activities.   like what? well, how 'bout those kinds'f things the beautiful kaela kang n' i got to do last summer such as driving out to pt reyes or 0.5 moon bay or napa or monterey?   how 'bout taking li'l trips to the mall?   r these things (quote/unquote w/ those bunny ear finger motions) "normal ppl" do?   well, will i get to do these things?   i hope so.   how will life be from here on? ... ha! what am i saying?! "from here on"?!?! c? doesn't it cm so weird to u (quote/unquote w/ those bunny ear finger motions) "normal ppl" that the wutc was such a climactic event in my life?! heck, i didn't even compete in it!   what's going on?! *sigh*

in my last entry "soyballs," i mentioned the topik of "the career martial artist."   really, i can't believe i'd ever be that cos i'm just not of that upbringing n' background.   @ the same time, these past few weeks, i've put in so much time that martial arts has felt like a career, right?   u know, 4 most of my time that i've been a taekwondo black belt, i figured i'd never be a 5dan "master."   i figured i'd prob'ly, @ best, get to 4dan.   i dunno.   a few months 'go, i think raymond sed sumpthin' 'bout someday getting his 5dan.   he only recently got his 1dan, n' i've been doing taekwondo much longer than him.   i stopped to think: i guess maybe it's not impossible that i'd someday get my 5dan.   ppl who get their 5dan n' who started @ ucmap, they mostly get their 5dan @ a relatively late age.   i mean, the korean "masters" that teach us, they mostly got their 5dan, like, when they were *shrug* young adults, like early 20s prob'ly.   well, the ppl in ucmap, the members in leadership positions, they don't do martial arts as a career.   even the 1s w/ high martial arts ranks, they have "day jobs," u know? they're engineers, lawyers, teachers, scientists, bankers... all sorts'f things... all sorts'f "normal" things.   i just feel so weird that i've spent so much time planning this tournament.   i know a few of us don't have the most steady careers right now, so we've had less werk to do (altho' this has also equated to less pay, less $$$).   however, we've donated the time into putting on this tournament; n' time = $$$, they say.   so in the end, we've donated lots'f $$$ to putting on this tournament.

do i feel bitter? well, actually no! no, not @ all.   i actually feel, i've done sumpthin' these past few weeks that... hrm, has been pretty fun, altho' very stressful... i feel i have benefitted from it, in a way.   i liked being involved w/ a world class taekwondo event.   i liked that i was around all sorts'f world class taekwondo competitors n' great taekwondo officials, authorities, n' leaders.   i really appreciate that.   all the time i've put into practicing 4 the demo etc?   well, i think all these experiences... not to say i'm so great or nething... but all these experiences, i feel help make me a better martial artist.   what's that worth?   shoot; i dunno... u can't put a price on it, but i just feel better, i guess.   i could focus on the negative; really, it'd be very easy!   however, i know that there r also much positive.

well, as i can't cm to stop talkin' 'bout the tournament, lemme discuss the actual competition a li'l: well, i saw many good matches.   most of the good matches were btwn korea n' taiwan .   whaddya gonna do?   they're always gonna be 2 of the best countries in taekwondo out there!   the light weight men's finals was a really lompsided victory 4 the koreans.   i'm sure that taiwanese competitor is a great competitor, but maybe he was 2 nervous to get in good kicks.   the korean competitor kept backing up n' evading n' then sneaking in a counterattack here n' there.   it all added up.   the fin weight men's finals was also a korea v. taiwan match.   man! that was exciting! these guys were so fast n' agile.   they used a good variety of kicks 2! some fin weights just do double kick, double kick, double kick... these guys had many tricks up their sleeves.   they had such confidence to use fancy maneuvering that it was like watching a good demonstration sparring routine.   in the end, even tho' taiwan scored more points, because of penalties taiwan received, korea won.   the pt score was taiwan 6 : korea 5, but taiwan's 2 penalties made the net score taiwan 4 : korean 5.   wow! talk 'bout excitement!

well, the tournament finally ended!   we had a closing ceremony, n' then a "cultural festival," where toby's current acapella group the bachelors sang.   they were great!   i felt so bad that we didn't have them sing during the actual closing ceremony, while ppl were seated.   oh well.   we took 'part the tournament w/ the help of so many great volunteers.   kaela took romy, pam, n' young out to the dorms to pass out award certificates to all the athletes who placed.   it was actually kind'f fun to do the takedown.   lots'f ppl pitched in, n' it was fun.   i love it when grunt werk gets social like that, u know?   it makes it so much more enjoyable.   uh... or less unenjoyable. ha ha.   then we had a party @ kip's.   the korean team manager came n' then brought us over to party w/ the korean team in the dorm.   we played some drinking games.   i played w/ them, n' i was so glad roland was a good friend n' took 'way my car keys.   even tho' kaela didn't drink much cos she kept winning the game, roland thought it'd be safer to have clarence drive us home, n' then he could drive clarence back.   that was fine.   very nice of them.

the nite b4, on fri nite, a bunch'f us took the australian n' mexican teams out 4 some sightcing in sf!  ally proclaimed that none of the women on the show meet his standards! kewl! they should have more guys like that on this show! ha ha ha! a guy who knows what his standards r! that's good.   we don't need to watch a bunch'f desperate guys on this show.   isn't this interesting? what if this show represented normal courtship behaviours in this "american" culture!   i mean, shoot. some ppl like really bag on how @ korean clubs there's like booking.   (booking is a matchmaking service, where the waiter'll introduce women to guys.) c, some ppl like booking cos it lets the woman cm less desperate while she gets to meet guys.   well, booking can also be gurls asking the waiter to bring guys to their table, i s'ppose; so it's not really that sexist.

back to am practice

858a: well, i woke up 4 morn taekwondo practice! :-) it was just 2 of us.   @ the end dr. ur walked into the office.   i'm glad some ppl notice that we r putting in extra time 2wards the promotional exam.   right b4 dr. ur walked in, i was talkin' 'bout how the prob w/ werkin' out in the early morn is that some ppl don't know we're werkin' out extra 2wards the exam.   the other person who practices w/ me, she sed that all the important ppl know that we're practicing.   yah, that's true, i agreed; however, i pted out that the ppl who talk crap don't necessarily do.   then she reminded me that that doesn't matter.   yah... i hope it doesn't.

well, last nite, the beautiful kaela kang n' i watched kate & leopold.   wow, i love when a romantic comedy is totally satisfying n' not cheesy.   2 often, romantic comedies have sumpthin' cheesy 'bout them.   ah, it was a good movie! :-)   it was very cute n' pretty exciting!   sometime 2day, we'll watch monster's ball.

k, u know... 1 thing i haven't discussed yet; but since i sort'f have time now that the wutc is over, i'll mention; is that the upper dan group in ucmap is supposedly not letting me test 4 my 3dan this summer.   an upper dan told me this quite a while 'go now.   yah... *sigh* @ 1st, i was pretty disappointed, even tho' i didn't show it: i felt, "dang, i've werked so hard these past few yrs! i put so much time into taekwondo!   if they're saying that i can't test cos my basics rn't good, that's not fair cos the reason i can't werk on my basics is cos i donate so much of my time to running the demo team."   i mean, *sigh* i guess there was never a pt that i was really furious or nething... right from the beginning, i just accepted it as is.   like, i really prefer to test in summer cos'f how warm weather helps my flexibility, n' they were telling me to test @ the end of the fall semester, which is basically winter.   well, right 'way, i actually told myself that it's true that i need to be an adaptable martial artist, so i should be able to test in ne season... true.   also, i told myself that it is true that a promotional exam result should test my basics not necessarily demo techniques, so yah... i should werk on my basics but just sacrifice the time i spend running demo team, if that's what i gotta do to comply w/ their demands. *shrug* also, i just plain felt relieved cos my summer is bizzy 'nuff already w/ the wutc n' the smithsonian demos.   eh! promotional exam... shoot! there r those guys who don't even care 'bout rank, right?   well, personally, i do care 'bout rank in martial arts.   i'm not gonna base the hiearchy of the club on how well a person spars or does demo kicks, no!   n' likewise, i won't necessarily base the hiearchy solely on how much officewerk a person does.   however, 'bout their not letting me test, i'll just take life as it goes.   no stress!   i do wanna promote to 3dan soon, yes; however, i'm not gonna be all hi pressure 'bout it.   personally, i think it's good 4 ucmap to let me test cos they should have a higher rank person leading demo team than just a 2dan. :-/   well, i'll just keep on practicing.   in general, my goal in taekwondo is just to keep getting better @ taekwondo thru.out my whole life! testing? yes, i very much care 'bout it, but it's not my primary goal.   my primary goal is just to keep learning! :-)

well, as i sed, i'm just trying to get on w/ normal life.   i'd like to go swimming w/ kaela late this afternoon or early this evening.   dang, if i can convince myself that i have some $$$, i'd love to go shopping sometime this week. *shrug*   since i didn't do the laundry last nite, i've gotta do the laundry 2day. really!   well, i might go into werk.com this week. *shrug* i dunno till they contact me.

[later] 1140a: i drove kaela to werk then came back.   man, i wonder how hot n' humid d.c.'ll be.   i'm really starting to wonder what it'll be like.

[later] 439p: i'm so sleepy.   so i picked kaela up from werk, n' we went back to rubio's in the newly rennovated el cerrito plaza.   this time, i had the dos tacos combo w/ a fish taco n' a carne asada taco.   kaela had the lobster burrito.   mmm, their stuff's pretty good, u know?   afterwards, we wasted so much time in barnes & nobles then a li'l time in shoe pavilion.   i really do need to get some new shoes, but *sigh* i just can't get myself to commit to a purchase. :-(

[later] 836p: so kaela n' i went swimming @ hearst pool on the uc berkeley campus! :-)   agh, it was so tiring! but ooh yah! :-) a good werkout! :-) man, oh man! i tried to keep up w/ kaela in the "medium" speed lane.   :-/ maybe i should've been in the "slow" lane.   however, it was good to push myself, i s'ppose.   ah, i werked out 2ice 2day! :-) i like that.   u know, last summer i sort'f got into jogging.   this summer, maybe i'll do more swimming?   well, every summer i do a li'l swimming, but eh! these kinds of sports r really 2ndary 4 me.   like, in hi skool, i'd sometimes "recreationally" play volleyball w/ my friends.   i never got good @ it... but i just fooled 'round.   4 me, i have 2 serious sports, if u can call 'em both that: taekwondo (a sport, i s'ppose, as well as a martial art) n' snowboarding.   yup, those 2.   after swimming, after showering, kaela n' i got boba drinks from quikley.   mmm... i had fresh mango w/ boba, n' kaela had fresh strawberry w/ boba.   i noticed mine had aisukuriimu in it, n' it was really creamy.   now we're home.   we're eating leftover spaghetti n' meatballs from last nite.   we made it w/ leftover soyballs from the wutc lunchroom.   yup, the lunchroom served burgers, chickenburgers, bean n' cheese burritos, n' soyballs.   ha! 1 day, the mexican cooks gave me a cheese stuffed habanero! ha ha ha! yah, i ate it, n' i guess they were impressed. :-) perry, the kewl guy that he is, got fuddruckers to donate lots'f the fud.   we went to diablo fuds in lafayette to pick up the drinks.   the soyballs n' burritos (the vegetarian fud) came from some bizness in so. sf. *shrug*   right now, i'm having a pyramid hefeweizen w/ my meal.   it's a good lite beer.

[later] 1119p: so we watched monster's ball.   yah, a good movie.

1208a: woo hoo! just a li'l while 'go i went down to check the mail.   it was hot in the apt n' the kewl air outside felt good on this presummer nite.   i checked the mail n' found a letter from the board for professional engineers and land surveyors.   from the address window, i could already read "congratulations!" woo hoo! i impatiently stuck my finger into the envelope n' ripped the seal open.   yup yup yup! i passed the eit!!! :-D

[later] 1200p: i dropped the beautiful kaela kang off @ werk, then i went to the rsf to meet christina kim to give her back her fon.   c, she left it @ the volunteers table on sat, @ the wutc.   she talked to me a while 'bout stuff.   yoon sabuhmnim walked by n' sed hi.   after that, i went to blockbuster to return monster's ball n' kate & leopold.   i picked up vanilla sky n' training day.

[later] 222p: i'm sleepy.   i went to campus, picked kaela up from werk, came home, n' ate leftover spaghetti n' soyballs w/ her.   i'm stuffed n' sleepy! *sigh* well, i'm just pondering how i'll get back to "life as normal" now that the wutc is over.   'member? kaela n' i wanted to go to korea this fall.   can we?   i really'd like to get a new job by the end of summer.   gre? *sigh* we'll c.   i'd still like to take it.   really! i wonder how much i can do b4 i run out of $$$, u know?   a race 'gainst time... but time = $$$, so it's a race 'gainst $$$!   heh, u know? right b4 i took the eit exam, i told myself i'd reward myself if i passed; since if i pass, it'd mean i'd have potential to earn more $$$, right?   well, i passed, so... :-) ... *sigh* i still don't have new shoes. :-( maybe i can find some good, new shoes @ the mall near d.c.? the mall i found on the net is the fashion centre @ pentagon city, (fcpc).

[later] 519p: i've had such a drowy, warm afternoon. :-( i feel lackluster n' drained. :-( well, i finally started that load of laundry! :-) [later] 536p: prof. tien is retiring?! check out honoring chang-lin tien: a symposium.

[later] 609p: upes, i just corrected a big mistake in my "father's day" entry from 20020.06.16.   i was missing a big chunk.   well, i'd like u to go back n' reread it. :-)

214a: the beautiful kaela kang n' i just watched vanilla sky.   wow! what a movie!   i don't wanna spoil it 4 u, nope; however, it's not the kind'f movie ppl prob'ly think it is.   like, the way it was marketed? no no no, it's not that kind'f movie.   if u haven't cn it, i do recommend it! :-) @ 1st, i was sort'f annoyed by tom cruise's acting n' how he always looks kind'f cocky, u know?   it really reminded me of keanu reeve's acting in sweet november.

[later] 944a: yesterday was deanna's b.day! happy b.day, deanna.   i felt bad that kaela n' i couldn't go to her b.day party last nite (even tho' we were invited), but i knew we had to eat fud from our fridge that'd rot while we're in d.c., u know? :-/ n' i knew i had rented vanilla sky n' we had to watch it b4 i gotta return it, u know? *sigh* oh well.

well, this morn, i went to taekwondo practice.   yah, again, i was late. :-(   man... i realise that i really need to werk on my basics.   geez! what have i been spending all this time while doing taekwondo the past few yrs?! how come it cms like my "basics" r so awful?! :-( have i really neglected basics that much?!   i know i do lots'f demo stuff... n' well... this morn, i realised that i did, b4, spend lots'f time training 4 sparring. :-/ *shrug* last nite, we sparred a li'l... lite contact sparring, no hogu (chest protector).   even tho' i haven't practiced sparring in a while, i felt a li'l more confident 'bout it cos i did spend some time watching sparring last week @ the wutc. *shrug* sure, nuthin' beat real practice, but well... it's good to know i learned sumpthin' from watching matches.

i wonder when we'll watch training day, which i also rented yesterday morn.   i guess we're watching some pretty good quality movies these days.   that's good.   i gotta return vanilla sky 2morrow by noon.   i hope i don't spoil the movie 4 those who haven't watched it by saying this: if u liked memento n' total recall, u'll love vanilla sky. ha ha ha.   imagine if a commercial sed sumpthin' dumb like: "if u liked star wars, titanic, or crouching tiger hidden dragon, u'll love adam sandler in mr. deeds," or sumpthin' like that. ha ha ha.   after all, how do u back up a claim like that?! X-D

well, this morn, i changed my gbook questions!   please go to my newly revised gbook n' sign it! :-) please. thanks.   here, i'll go 'head n' give u my answers now:

name: beno hwang

e.mail: beno@benomix.com

homepage url: http://www.benomix.com

u r (married, engaged, single but in a committed relationship, single but dating, single n' desperate, divorced, in a domestic partnership):
engaged

ur favourite star wars episode (phantom menace, attack of the clowns, a new hope (aka star wars), the empire strikes back, return of the jedi):
attack of the clowns

ur favourite housechore (cleaning the bathroom, washing the dishes, vacuuming, mowing the lawn, doing the laundry, taking out the garbage):
vacuuming

tell a story 'bout beno (make 1 up if u don't know a true 1):
well, everybody knows this 1... but i just feel like telling it: :-) back in beno's jr yr of college, back in 1996, the spring semester, beno was in charge of running the concessions committee 4 the uc open taekwondo championship.   he had to buy things like hot dogs, pizza, chips, candy, soda, n' bagels (4 breakfast).   the hospitality committee head claudine told beno he had to help her committee buy bagels 4 the vip guests.   she had this gurl kaela call beno up to arrange 4 him to drive her to noah's bagels in the early morn to buy bagels.   he picks her up n' thinks, "wow, she's pretty cute."   a few weeks later, @ the ucmap banquet, beno finds out this gurl has a bf, so he thinks, "dang, oh well."   then almost 3 yrs later, this gurl kaela joins the taekwondo demo team, which beno's leading.   she starts hanging out w/ the group, n' beno realises, "wow, she's a pretty fun gurl."   beno gets to know kaela.   then after she got out of an unhappy relationship, beno lets her know that he likes kaela.   however, he tells her that she should spend some time as a single woman 4 a while.   well, kaela refused, but she n' beno have been happily together ever since. :-) man, my hair was tall back in those days! :-o

what would u do if u visited washington d.c.? taekwondo demos @ the smithsonian institute

ur favourite (non.cg disney cartoon) (the little mermaid, beauty & the beast, aladdin, lion king, mulan (altho' it should've had more lovescenes), snow white, cinderella, sleeping beauty, fantasia, tarzan, lilo n' stitch):
beauty & the beast

additonal comments:
man! this gbook doesn't have 'nuff questions! >:-( is beauty & the beast really my favourite disney cartoon?! *sigh* i dunno... i don't like how belle has such a conservative look, huh?   isn't it much nicer how ariel n' jasmine prance 'round 0.5 naked?   yah, it is.   mulan? u wanted me to vote 4 mulan just cos i'm asian, eh? ha ha.   well, u know what?   i do really appreciate that disney made an asian movie using asian actors.   good, good, good!   that's very good.   however, dang! where was the romance?!?!?!   shouldn't mulan n' the b.d. wong character have like totally gotten it on?!?!   of course! shoot! that really spoiled it 4 me... :-/   i really wanna watch lilo & stitch! :-) n' attack of the clowns was my favourite star wars installment?!   :-/ am i just being trendy in saying that? nah, i really think it was a good movie! :-) 'member, i really liked the costuming!   i also appreciated the reduced amt of jarjar! :-)   man! this gbook version has no questions 'bout musik?! what up w/ that? eh, i just wanted to give it a rest, u know?   i'm sick of repeatedly asking, "what's ur favourite kind of musik? blah blah blah."

well, how r u? well, please answer me via gbook! :-) u already know the questions.   now, just let me in on the answers! :-)

[later] 1107a: kaela's still asleep.   since we have a wedding fotographer's apptmnt 2day, i don't think we'll get to swim. :-/ mon's swimming was a good upper body werkout 4 me.   man, i really need to werk my upper body.   kaela sez, since the wutc is over, she has more time to think 'bout the wedding.   me 2; don't think she's the only 1 thinking 'bout the wedding.   u know, kaela was telling me how some magazine article was discussing which elements of a wedding guests remember n' which they easily 4get.   yah, obviously location is 1 of the most memorable.   if u know where we're getting married, i hope u'd agree that it's hard to 4get this place. :-/   the article sez ppl 4get fud easily. eh, maybe. *shrug* well, shoot! seriously! me? i've been to many weddings!   don't 4get, i've djed many weddings!   what do i 'member 'bout a wedding?! yah, the locations is a big thing.   the fud?   actually i do 'member the fud sometimes!   i think that article's wrong in saying that ppl don't 'member the fud. >:-(   i, of course, 'member the musik well; since i'm often the dj... otherwise i'm the dj's most enthusiastic critic. heh heh heh >:-)   u know 'nother thing i really 'member?   if the wedding party puts on a good show!!!   if there's a slideshow, movie, video, skits, fun speeches, toasts... i 'member those things!   as a guest, i really appreciate being entertained!   man, i definitely want slideshows n' videos @ our wedding! slideshows n' videos w/ good soundtracks!!! :-)   the article sez that ppl don't 'member wedding programs... u know that pamphlet thingy... well, yah... heh! really, i don't think 2 much 'bout them... however... what if we had a superkewl program? like, 1 w/ articles n' pictures! what if it were like the uc open programs? ha ha. *sigh* is this 2 far fetched? :-/ yah, maybe... however, dang... if the program were practically a yrbook or sumpthin'... then yah, i think the guests'd 'member it.   the article sez guests often 4get 'bout the wedding favours.   yah, me, i really don't wanna give out chocolates or cookies as wedding favours.   i wanna give out sumpthin' they'll use, sumpthin' useful... n'/ or else sumpthin' musikal like a benomix cd! :-)   i just dunno if the old folks'll have all that much appreciation 4 benomix. :-( well, what don't i really 'member from the many weddings i've been to?   not to be such a guy, but *sigh* i really don't 'member much 'bout flowers or centerpieces.   i don't 'member much 'bout bridesmaids dresses... or *sigh* not even the bride's gown. :-( well, shoot! if these dresses r like really sexy outfits, then (heh) i think i'll 'member them. ha ha. well, i hope i can find sumpthin' special 4 a tux n' also 4 my groomsmen's tuxes. :-/   c, i gotta werkout my upper body hard cos by the time i finish paying off everything else, i won't be able to afford a shirt to wear under my tux @ the wedding! X-D

this morn, i started reading "a korean wedding story" by jill morneau, published on jademagazine.com.   i found this article a while back, but it's kind'f long (by my standards), so i didn't get 'round to reading it till now... n' i'm still not done.   'member, when it comes to reading, most 3 month old puppies have a longer attention span than i do!   i'm awful!   'member, kaela n' i talked 'bout doing pyeibaek.     n' i discussed w/ kaela 'bout how her mom thinks it's ridiculous that we propsed doing pyeibaek @ kaela's parents' house when the whole korean tradition is 'bout having the groom's family receive the bride in their house n' have time to pass on wisdom to the bride n' groom. :-/ that's the thing i realised: many korean.americans do pyeibaek, not 4 the traditional reasons of doing pyeibaek, but just 4 the sake of doing sumpthin' korean.   it cms to me that some korean ppl who marry nonkoreans wanna do pyeibaek to somehow "compensate" to their korean heritage 4 not marrying a korean. :-( that's not the right reason to do it, i think.   well, me, i really wanna do things in accordance w/ asian traditions n' asian philosophy... n' that's just how i always am, i guess. :-/ well, "always" is an extreme wurd; let's replace that w/"often." :-)

have u heard the baby v.o.x. track "waiting" from 1 of their early albums?   dude, i know that's a cover of an american song, but i can't figure out who originally sang it... :-/ it's like sophie b. hawkins or some1. i know i heard this song on american radio b4, n' tss... don't try to tell me american top 40 stations play baby v.o.x.! heh, yah, that'd be nice if they were that openminded, but eh! this is amerika!   i looked up the song on a korean musik site n' it's written by "john anonymous" n' won sangwoo. ??? hrm, this is a serious case of "name that tune."   i think if some1 like phil took a listen to the song, he might be able to i.d. it right 'way.   maybe it's not ne1 like sophie b. hawkins but more of a 80s pop icon. :-/ it sounds pretty 80sish.   man, does ne1 know the song i'm talkin' 'bout?!

my li'l white puppy baekgoo, sitting in his usual spot on the top of the backseat of my forester

553p: i've been 2 bizzy to write till now, eh?

kaela @ our home, w/ her glasses on, last nite

last nite, i took the beautiful kaela kang out to dinner 4 our 29th monthversary.   it was a bizzy day, i guess.   in the afternoon, we went out to benicia to talk to a wedding fotographer.   cos we got there a li'l 2 early, kaela insisted that we go to a café to get drinks.   then we drove back.   the fotographer lived in a beautiful, suburban track home, in a neighbourhood that reminded me of almaden valley, san jo, back in its younger days, b4 the internet boom n' all.   i noticed so many driveways had trucks.   these days in almaden valley, u prob'ly c more beamers n' mercedes than u did back in the days when i grew up there.   neway, the houses were really nice n' big, n' kaela sed it reminded her of orange county.   i tried so hard to convince her that norcal has plenty of track homes n' suburbs... berkeley, sf, n' urban oakland r not representative of most of the bay area!   why is it that yrs 'go, i was trying so hard to convince stephan pak that san jo is not like orange county, n' now i find myself trying so hard to convince kaela that san jo is like orange county?! *sigh*   neway, we met w/ this fotographer n' really like her stuff... altho' we also really liked the stuff of the other fotographer we met w/ a while go. :-/ decisions, decisions! *sigh* well, we hurried back to berkeley afterwards cos i sed i'd take kaela to dinner.

i asked her where she wanted to go.   i know she wanted me to think of a place, but u know... even tho' i know lots'f restaurants, i guess, i do like to have some1 else pick the kind of fud 1st, if possible.   well, kaela sed she wanted to go to uzen, the fancy japanese restaurant in the rockridge district of oakland.   well, hey! what a good idea.   we'll be in d.c. soon, n' well... i'm sure the sushi is better here than there, right?   well, it took us a while to park, but we made it.   we had some really good sushi n' some really good chilean sea bass w/ shiitake mushrooms.   we also had some asahi biiru.   well, after dinner, i still felt the beer, so we looked 'round a li'l, nearby bookstore.   then kaela drove us home.

rockridge neon lites in sepia

kaela drove my subar.

we watched training day.   it was ok.   i sort'f fell asleep 4 a short time during it.

i'm a lucky guy cos kaela's been w/ me 4 29 months! :-)

938a: man, i can't believe yesterday was the 1st day of summer, the summer solstice, n' it pretty much rained!!!   2day is sat.   weird, i woke up pretty early.   strange.   i just couldn't sleep nemore, but i don't feel really rested. :-/ i think i thought 4 a sec, when i woke up, that i'd go check my e.mail n' then go back to sleep. *shrug* i'm still awake now, quite a while later, n' i'm writing this journal entry.   yesterday was a bizzy day.   ah, doesn't it feel good writing a journal entry in the morn? this way i don't haft keep saying awkward things like "today (meaning yesterday)," etc. :-)   neway, yesterday was bizzy.   i woke up, werked on the smithsonian institute demo soundtrack n' went to doug's place to show it to him.   when i got there, doug was already having quite a bizzy day w/ clients (i guess... or else bizness partners? *shrug*) visiting him n' delivery ppl... it was crazy hektic.   well, doug made these duffle bags 4 the smithsonian martial arts demo team, n' he also made some t.shirts.   wow!   the duffle bag actuall fits all my stuff!   u know, i can't use the usual ucmap duffle/equipment/gear bag that they sell cos it doesn't fit my hogu (chest protector) n' all my sparring gear (pads).   this 1 does! :-) on the ends of the bag (the duffle bag looks like a tube, w/ round ends), there is some quote written in chinese.   i 4get what it sez... sumpthin' 'bout not fighting 100 fights sumpthin' sumpthin'.   sumpthin' good 4 martial arts philosophy, u know?   i can't read the chinese, but i recognise the hanja 4 "100," which i @ 1st thought was "white" not "100." neway, i was glad doug liked most of the musik cos i did put some time into doing it.   *sigh* i had sooo many probs w/ soundforge! >:-( grrr! right now, i don't even have soundforge installed on my 'puter cos it was messing up on me so much that i just totally deleted/uninstalled it. :-(   as a dj, i really need soundforge, but it was messing up on me.   u know, i don't have a legal, full copy of soundforge cos it's sooo expen$ive!   however, yah... i really need it.   after i deleted soundforge, i tried using this program sawplus32 that chas gave me... but i didn't quite get the hang of it.   i dunno if it can do all that soundforge can do. :-( i really need soundforge! :-(

well, after doug's, i went to young's trading, a martial arts store in oakland on telegraph.   i had to buy some fake guns 4 the self.defense skit.   ha, i saw a bizness card on the counter, n' it was from my company! i thought, "i didn't leave a bizness card here, did i?!" then i looked closer n' realised that my cowerker who does kendo left it there! aaah. ha ha.   [later, 1025a] ok, i just e.mailed him.   then while i was on a roll, i e.mailed fahad.   geez, we'll be in d.c. soon!   crazy crazy!

well, yesterday, later in the afternoon, i drove some members of the absolute dragons dragonboating team from berkeley to sfo: jerome, laura, roland, n' jocelyn.   wow, it felt so weird that every1's leaving town right 'bout now to do pretty adventurous, active stuff!   it really is summer vacation, isn't it?   it's like i wanna say that ppl r doing stuff other than taekwondo 4 1nce; then i realise the beautiful kaela kang n' i r leaving town just to do more taekwondo. ha ha.   well, it's nice to c us all take a break n' get 'way from berkeley taekwondo 4 a sec tho', isn't it?   seriously, isn't it nice to get a break from all the politiks? (the faktions n' the bureaucracy) it really feels like a vacation! ...even tho' kaela n' i'll be werking pretty hard @ times, i guess. ha.   well, it'll be really hot in d.c.!   kaela's wondering if it'll be like cancun was last summer. *shrug* it'll be very hot!   it's sooo cold here right now! :-( i'm shivering in my living room! oh yah!   i neglected to mention that i actually got that targus handcam! <:-) i'm having some troubles getting it to werk 100% w/ my desktop 'puter via the packaged conduit, but this ninelocks hcmail application's helping me. man! all this techtalk!   [later] 1119a: so lately, i've noticed that i might have some mistakes in my journal where i cut n' pasted from ms notepad.   in some cases, the paste may have omitted some lines! :-o that's no good! so there may be some parts of my journal entries that r missing! ng ng ng! no good! yah, i've gotta go thru my archive n' double check!!!   since i'm so obsessed w/ documenting my life, this is sort'f scaring me. ha ha. *sigh* well, i usually keep .txt versions of my entries on my 'puter but not always. :-(

so last nite, kaela took me out to dinner after i got home from fighting eastbound sf traffic, n' after i stopped by longs drugs to get some envelopes to send out some wutc participation certificates.   she took me to zaika indian restaurant.   we brought our own beringer gewurztraminer to drink.   gewurztraminer comes in smaller than usual bottles, if u didn't know.   however, we didn't finish the bottle.   kaela felt bad 'bout wasting wine, but i sed we've gotta just enjoy wine 4 what it's worth n' not always just chug chug chug.   enuf's enuf, u know?   @ zaika, we ate some samosa, this crab in coconut milk dish, n' some lamb kabab stew stuff.   oh yah, we also had some green onion naan.   we were stuffed!   ofter we loitered 4 a bit, we went off to jack london cinemas to watch lilo n' stitch! 'twas a really fun, simple movie. sooo cuite! :-) u c, on my frustratingly slow drive back from sfo, i saw a lilo n' stitch billboard.   i was so happy to c it.   u know, in asia, u c many cute images... hello kitty, mashimaro, pochacco... it's all over the place! in america, u don't get to c so many cute things... lots'f stern, "dignified," mean images.   well, 4 1nce, w/ this lilo n' stitch marketing, we get to c a cute, fuzzy animal all over the place! :-) that's a good thing! heh, @ the movie theatre, i bought a latte 4 kaela, a pistacchio aisukuriimu, n' later a pepsi (w/ very li'l syrup) 4 me cos i was thirsty.   geez! how much fud did i need?!   crazy! i eat so much these days!!! i feel like i just plow thru fud. :-( i didn't even werkout yesterday. :-/

well, kaela n' i'll go to milpitas to c ken 2day.   2morrow, we have a demo @ the asian american expo 2002 @ the san mateo expo center.   crazy, huh? so many demos!!!   we don't have ne practice b4 the demo, but kaela n' i should try to werk some things out 2day somehow.

1 of the 1st pics on my handcam; no, the handcam doesn't only take small b&w pics.

[later] 1040p: i feel so bloated these days. :-( i think i'm holding water.   i'm holding a glass of water.   as much as guys shouldn't say this, 'specially guys like me, i feel fat.   like, :-/ i know i'm not... but i feel like it; i feel heavy, u know? that's not good, since we have a demo 2morrow afternoon in san mateo, u know?   well, 2day, we did lots'f eating.   we met up w/ ken n' grace in milpitas.   we ate lunch @ the banana leaf restaurant in the mccarthy ranch strip mall area of milpitas.   i treated every1 to lunch... just cos... well, 4 1 thing, i didn't have 'nuff ca$h.   it was a good lunch!   we had some roti (indian bread), some tom yam soup, some mango prawns, n' some "spicy" asparagus.   yah, banana leaf is a malaysian rstaurant, very interesting.   then we spent the afternoon hangin' @ ken's store.   the women chatted 'bout marriage, kids, etc.   ken helped me take care of some cellfon biz.   ken's employee amanda had her kid brian there.   heh! what a cute kid.   he's almost 2.   he walks 'round n' sez a few things.   he likes playing w/ cellfons, pretending he's talking on the fon! ha ha.   well, after the store closed 4 the day, ken, grace, kaela, n' i went to coriya hotpot city in the 99ranch mall.   ugh! we ate so much!   ken took care of that dinner bill since i paid 4 lunch.   heh, that's fun, isn't it?   somehow taking turns paying 4 meals is more fun that fussing over bills, u know? :-) 'member when ed park, vince, n' i had the "friday nite dinner club"??? sometimes eric chang'd join us n' ben chang joined us just in time to buy us all dinner 1nce n' then never get his fair payback of dinners. ha ha.   funny... *sigh* yah, i think eric n' toby n' some other engineers came to dinner w/ us sometimes, but they weren't necessarily part of "the club," u know? ha ha ha.   well, after dinner, kaela n' i went back up to berkeley.   the sun was still up.   when we had left 4 the sobay from berkeley in the early afternoon, the berkeley sky was really cloudy n' gloomy.   when we got to the sobay, the sky was beautifully blue.   it was so nice n' warm in the sobay n' so dismally cold in berkeley! :-( hrm, there was sumpthin' i was gonna talk 'bout in this journal, but i 4get what it was. :-(

907p: 2day, we did 2 demos @ the asian american expo 2002 @ the san mateo expo center.   4 the 1st demo, the beautiful kaela kang n' i weren't warmed up 'nuff.   4 the 2nd demo, we were getting kind'f tired.   eh, sounds like i'm making excuses.   hey, it's not like the demos went bad!   i'm just thinking i wasn't in the best condition, u know? *shrug* no big deal.   my mom came to c the 1st demo, but she left way b4 the 2nd.   we waited a long time 4 the 2nd 1, but we got to watch a bridal fashion show n' look 'round.   1 of the kewl booths we saw was a wedding fotographer's booth.   yah, the asian american expo was just a big tradeshow, u know?   well, it had some good fud vendors, i guess.   we even got some good fud samples! :-) pat gave us a ride this morn to this demo.   we got there a li'l early, so we bought a crepe n' a strawberry "icy" boba.   after the demo, after pat dropped off 2 of sifu tony's o.mei kungfu kid students, pat, kaela, n' i ate @ yeitnal jjajang, after pat went to change out of his aikido clothes in the changing room @ the korean youth cultural center.   ah, it's been so good to eat all this asian fud b4 going off to d.c., which i'll assume is a cultural wasteland. ha ha.   well, shoot... i just don't have ne confidence that we'll find good asian fud in d.c. :-(

dang! i can't believe we leave 2morrow morn! :-( *sigh* i'm pretty jittery, pretty anxious.   i'm not really "nervous" cos i'm not scared.   i kind'f don't like flying to d.c. 'round the 4th of july season, but the government sez we're safe from a 4th of july terrorist attack, right?   well, they say so.   security should be tight.

438a: i guess i'm pulling an allniter 2nite!   i'm wrappin' up the demo soundtrack.   i did laundry n' am waiting 4 some taekwondobok (taekwondo uniforms) to air dry, since u shouldn't machine dry dobok or else they lose their crispness.   i'm starting to get that sick feeling in my head n' stomach, the feeling i get when i stay up all nite.   i really don't like this. :-(   *sigh* am i 4getting to pack nething?!?!?! i dunno. :-( aaaaaaah! i'm worried!   ok, earlier, yesterday, i sed i wasn't nervous, just jittery or anxious. (please refer to "asian american expo 2002", 2002.06.23.)   now, i'm just plain nervous, nervous that i'll leaving sumpthin' out while packing.   the beautiful kaela kang, she's asleep in bed.   i'm not sure if she's done packing or what.   i'm nervous 'bout that!   i'm worried if she'll wake up in time or what. :-( i still need to go to blockbuster to return someone like you, which we watched uh... on sat nite?! i guess that was when we watched. :-/   i gotta return that video, n' i gotta go to the bank!   all this n' packing b4 715a! x-o aaaah! *sigh* i just thought i lost this journal entry just now! i dunno what i did, but the screen stalled up.   i'm typing this entry on kaela's 'puter, telnetting into my unix server.   *sigh* i haven't written a journal entry via this mean in a while.   most of my journal entries lately have been written on ms windows notepad or on my handspring.   man, i have had probs w/ cutting n' pasting from ms windows notepad. :-(   well, these next 2 weeks, i may hafta use palm os telnet to write directly on the unix server instead of cutting n' pasting.   i'm not sure.   i think this may be the case. *shrug*

please read this article from the korea herald: "'konglish' undermines national soccer pride." oh, don't worry; it's in english!   @ the korean youth cultural center, i saw a man wearing a "be the reds" t.shirt.

i took this pic of kaela @ zaika indian restaurant on fri nite b4 we went to watch lilo n' stitch.
i like how the colour turned out! :-)
i took the pic using kaela's digielph.

458a: well, shoot, i don't have much time left! x-o *sigh* am i gonna panic now? *shrug* i gotta get my butt over to blockbuster to return that video, to the bank to get ca$h, n' to a mailbox to mail off our rent check!   ok, i might as well stop this journal entry here 4 now, right?

[later] 722p (eastern time; 422p pdt): we're waiting n' waiting in our plane to exit @ philadelphia airport.   apparentally a thunderstorm's preventing us from unboarding this plane.   grr, we've been waiting 4 quite a while. >:-(   i'm glad fahad called me this morn!   i got in touch w/ him!

[later] 959p (eastern time; 659p pdt): we went from waiting inside 1 plane to waiting even longer in 'nother.   i guess it's just cos'f this dang thunderstorm. >:-( well, i'd rather be safe than sorry, i guess.   i'm so thirsty!   doug bought us soms pretzels in the airport cos we were hungry.   'twas a good thing he did cos this flight doesn't have a meal, n' we've had this 2 hr delay.   now, i'm sooo thirsty! *sigh*

this'll be my 1st time spending so much time outside of cali ('cept 4 reno / nevada tahoe) since i was a li'l kid.   so far, i'm finding that ppl r really unfriendly. :-( doug accidentally bumped into a woman in line @ the boarding gate.   he had a pretzel in his mouth, renderinq him temporarily mute.   w/ a big frown,the woman started, "do you..."   doug managed to get the pretzel out n' profusely apologised.   she ignored him w/ an upturned nose, turned 'round, n' left.   >:-( her question most likely was "do you speak english?!" *roll eyes* doug totally speaks english as his 1st language.   what's w/ the attitude, lady?!

'nother, better story: while waiting 4 this plane to take off, i fell asleep 4 a while, then awoke to hear the woman sitting next to pat say over cellfon, "i only have one neighbor, and he only speaks chinese."   grrr!!! 1) he was speaking korean to me earlier, not chinese.   2) his 1st language is english. 3) he's an american.born chinese guy. 4) he's a ph.d. student in linguistics n' speaks 'least 12 languages!

ok, i just heard that woman apologise to pat 4 that comment.   eh, that restores my faith in noncali usa. :-/ funny tho', huh?   4 us asian.americans, there r so many times we werk so hard to sound not like a native english speaker, when speaking asian languages.   then, there r times like these where, as i was telling toby a few nites 'go, we feel like we gotta talk (a lot) more, just to prove we can speak english (w/o an "accent.")   now, pat's showing the woman choonhyang on dvd on his i.book! :-) ha ha ha! that's 2 kewl! :-) man, i have neved cn so many apple i.book 'puters b4 2day!   what a trend!!!   a li'l while 'go that woman told us that her friend on the fon sed the real reason 4 the delay isn't a thunderstorm but a terrorist threat on some other flight, an int'l flight.   :-o freaky!

the friendly flight attendant gave me water.   when did my handspring's backlite stop werking?   this nationwide verizon plan's werking great! :-)

901p: it's hard to believe how fast our 1st full day in d.c. went!   i barely woke up in time 4 breakfast.   they feed us breakfast in such a nice restaurant w/ such a gorgeous view!   [later] 958p: the beautiful kaela kang couldn't get up till the afthrnoon.   we missed practice but went to the demo venue cos we heard we had a mtg.   we. . . [i didn't finish this entry.]

537p: sorry, i've been way 2 bizzy to updatechu guys!   uh, right now i'm in a victoria's secret store in mclean, virginia, inside the tyson mall.   man, i dunno how . . . 548p: i dunno where to start telling u 'bout what we've been up to.   the festival's great!   it's hard werk, but they treat us great!   616p: we do 1-2 demos a day.   hangin' w/ fahad n' his fiancée's been kewl!

1144p: man, it's been so hard to update this journal that i almost wanna give up... almost!   however, no way.   right now, i'm in the festival participants' lounge.   some asian musicians r drumming.   ngw they'r done.   earlier, the beauiful kaela kang's uncle steve n' aunt kristen took us out to dinner n' to a bar 4 a li'l beer.

746p: i just got a great massage from a few of my teammates.   i think i 4got to mention that 1 of the hi.lites of the 1st week of this trip/festival was sitting up front @ a small concert by yoyo ma n' getting his autograph.   :-) we've met so many interesting, knowledgeable, n' int'l ppl.   it's crazy!

1239p: we're in fredericksberg, virginia.   uncle steve n' aunt kristen r having the beautiful kaela kang n' me over.   yesterday evening they picked us up from the springfield metro stop n' took us to a feast of a dinner @ yeichon korean restaurant.   they took us to their nice home in semirustic northern virginia.   this morn they treated us to excellent service @ their day spa & salon, ambiance day spa & salon.   i got a great sports massage n' spent some time in a massage bath.   aaah... :-) it was great!!!

btw, uncle steve is kaela's dad's youngest bro in a family w/ 3 sons n' uh... 4 daughters? :-/ 4 or 3; i'm not sure cos kaela has lots'f 2nd uncles n' 2nd aunts 2, cousins of her parents.   uncle steve graduated w/ a masters in electrical engineering n' werked as an engineer 4 a while b4 they opened this biz.   pretty kewl.

[later] 248p: we went to a chinese lunch buffet.   u know, this trip has really given me time to reflect on my career, profession, etc.   i've been out of the bay area 4 quite a while n' have met many interesting ppl w/ all sorts of professions n' career histories!   *sigh* i definitely have not come to ne good conclusions. :-( however, i've had time to think.   hopefully, this thinking'll result in some conclusions. :-/

jason huang n' antonia: thanks 4 signing the gbook!!!   u guys r kewl! others should follow ur excellent example.

yesterday (mon) n' 2day (tues) r our 2 days off.   i can't believe 2morrow we gotta resume per4ming.   2morrow nite, we'll do a special per4mance, just 4 the other festival participants, w/ yoyo ma!

315p: a li'l while 'go, while sitting @ aunt kristen's physical therapy clinic, we heard r.e.m.'s "stand" on the radio, n' kaela asked me what tv show used that song as its theme song. *shrug* she guessed it might've been the chris elliot show i barely 'member he had his own show.

710p: in the overheated, early evening, i went w/ uncle steve n' his dog lucky (a chihuahua terrier mix) t pick up a backyard bench swing from linens n' things.   then we swung by lowe's to pick up some garden things.   now, as we wait 4 laundry to dry, kaela n' i r watching old buffy the vampire slayer reruns on fx.   they have dish network dss here. :-)   in this rerun, they're still in hi skool.

1144p: we've been back in our hotel room 4 a while now.   our vacation from our vacation is over.   back to "the grind." ha ha ha!   doug's kids r here now.   they're fun! :-)

1200a: 2day (meaning yesterday), the beautiful kaela kang n' i went to the smithsonian nat'l zoo after our show.   we went to c the cute panda bears! :-)   heh, it's crazy; we've done... uh, i think it's 8 demos of 15... or sumpthin'. *shrug* i was n local tv 2day, but i didn't c it cos kaela n' i were just gettin' back from the zoo.   (we took the metro n' walked.)   after our show this morn (meaning yesterday morn), kaela n' i were walking thru the burning july heat from the xi'an tower auditorium, where our per4mances r, to the participant trailer, where participants store props n' costumes.   i walked w/ a towel on my head.   i worried 'bout sunburning my scalp.   i used this hand towel.   our silk road martial arts teammate janet gave us each a handtowel w/ an embroidered logo from her martial arts skool.   a news cameraman thought kaela n' i made a good pic w/ my walkin' w/ a towel on my head, so he filmed us. :-) that footage ended up on the news during a story 'bout the hot weather. ha ha!

the fud @ the festival is decently good: there's a japanese, a chinese, an indian, n' an italian fud booth.   hrm, what's the best? :-/ well, i still wanna try the italian stromboli, but i think i like the chinese fud booth's chicken skewers best.   the japanese fud booth's salmon teriyaki ain't bad.   the indian fud's ok, but their lamb biryani? fahad's mom makes it much better!

man! u guys should c what a cultural education experience this festival is!!!   often, i tell myself: man! i don't deserve to be here!!!   there r many reasons. :-/ i'm so lucky to be here.   there r so many educated presenters here n' so many talented participants / per4mers.   @ times i feel kind'f weird being an american participant cos most of the participants r from 4iegn countries.   sometimes i just don't feel 3rd world 'nuff, u know?   then 'gain doug was sooo right to pt out to the festival organisers that they needed to represent asian martial arts @ this "silk road" festival!!!

2nite (meaning last nite), we (the "silk road martial arts team") went to doug's cousin's palatial mansion to watch the washington, d.c. firewerks.   man, i got some nice pics on kaela's digielph.   man! doug's cousin's place is sooo nice!

*sigh* so what'll life be like when we get back to berkeley? *shrug* find a new job? <:-/ i have no clue.   :-(   well, 'least i now have my e.i.t., right?   hrm... *shrug* i hope that helps.   what can i say? i've gotta develop a career, n' i've gotta make some $$$. :-( what 'bout the gre n' applying 4 grad skool??? dunno... :-( 4 1 thing, the whole $$$ thing still scares me. :-( then 'gain... i shouldn't be left out of this whole grad skool thing, right?! :-( grrr! am i not still where i was several months 'go?!?!   life shouldn't be so static, no?   i should make progress, no?   u c, isn't this why, when we were @ the el cerrito plaza barnes & noble bookstore, i told kaela that dr. seuss's oh, the places you'll go makes me cry. :-/   oh! it's not that it depresses me, no.   it's cos i feel the book really knows how i feel.   in gter wurd itits close to home," i s'ppose.   sometimes life's scary... but i know i can't be scared. :-/ just do it.   just go out there, play good, feel good, try good, give 110%... man, when'll snowboarding season resume?   well, i gotta make $$$, so i can go out n' snowboard.   stoopid beno! always just wanna play, eh? >:-(

1252a: saturday night fever's playing on tnt.   we just heard the beegees' "how deep is your love."   *sigh* what will life be like when we get back?!   on the rooftop, 2nite (as in last nite, doug asked, "isn't this great? we're in washington, d.c.; watching fireworks on the roof of someone else's house, n' getting paid to do something we love." true.   i've talked to very entrepeneural ppl lately.   what to do?

did i talk 'bout the day we went to the natural history museum n'nat'l air n' space museum?   that was mon.   man, it was weird to be reminded that the world hasn't made ne progess in aerospace in the pas few decades, compared to the 1940s thru 1960s.   however, we've made so many advances in 'puter teknology, eh? crazy.

man! in hi skool, i played piano, clarinet, bassoon, n' guitar!   isn't that such a past lifs 4 me?! *sigh crazy!

[later] 530p: i was on tv 'gain 2day: a bunch'f us from the silk road martial arts team were on the local fox channel 5 morn news.   teammate steve teased me 'bout being on tv 2ice w/in 24 hrs.   ha ha.   we did that mini morn demo, then lounged.   i considered eating a krispy kreme doughnut but resisted.   i have this uh... eurasian, woolen, handmade baseball cap from the silk road festival market.   i bought it yesterday but realised it fit a li'l tight.   i wanted to go exchange it, but the market wasn't open yet.   well, we did our 1st show 4 a packed audience.   afterwards, i got a stromboli 4 lunch.   the kid werking there played cards a coupl'f times w/ the martial arts team so he hooked me up w/ the fud 4 free.   kewl! :-)   aftsr lunch, after loafing, i tried to exchange my hat 'gain, but the store had a line to get in.   crazy.   well, we did our 2nd show, our afternoon show, 'gain 4 a jampacked audience.   man, sooo many ppl have cn our demo now... thousands! prob'ly 10s of 1000s! (uh, 10,000s..)   crazy!   afterwards, i went to exchange the hat, waited in that crazy long line, n' tried on all the handmade baseball caps.   all'f 'em were a bit small.   i decided just to try to stretch out my 'riginal 1 a li'l.

310p: the beautiful kaela kang n' i r waiting @ the george washington hospital cos she want a dr to look @ her foot, which she twisted @ yesterday morn's demo.   it's prob'ly not bad, but she wants x.rays just in case.   i guess it's a good idea. *shrug* fahad n' wendy (his fiancée) drove us here.   the silk road martial arts team finished its last show this morn.   i barely made it to the show on time.   they bowed in w/o me, i think.   on fri, we did 4 demos: 1 in the early morn 4 the local fox channel 5 morn show, 2 4 the normal festival crowd, n' 1 last 1 late @ nite 4 yoyo ma.   crazy!   bizzy bizzy.   on sat, after our morn show, we met regina in real life 4 the 1st time.   regina's "tigress" on bronx's junkyard forums.   well, that was the demo in which kaela hurt her foot.   4 the final 2 shows, i had to do diff stuff to adjust 4 kaela's not being able to per4m.

w/ laura (hankido laura, not taekwondo laura) n' steve, we spent yesterday (sat) evening in the georgetown shopping area n' then dupont circle, where we ate @ a casual lebanese eatery.   part of the dupont circle neighbourhood is a large gay community.

well, i haven't written so much (relatively speaking) in my journal lately cos i'm bizzier living life instead of writing 'bout it.   it almost feels good.   it almost feels right.   almost.   we've spent the past couple'f weeks w/ older folks, a crowd that is truly more our age.   chris the judo guy is the youngest on our team, n' he's 25, just a li'l younger than kaela.   oh wait! jia tao is 20, altho' i keep 4getting he's so young.   i'm the 4th youngest, closely followed by laura.   fahad n' wendy r talkin' 'bout house buying.   laura owns a house.   back when my career was good... er... better, i pondered buying a house, but w/ the teknoplunge n' all, i'm glad i didn't. :-/ *sigh*

[a li'l later] 353p: so yah... what 'bout yuppiedom?   am i a yuppie? or am i an 11 yr old?! *sigh* growing up.   as much as this trip was all play n' no werk, i feel it's made me more of an adult than ever.   thus life somehow progresses, n' the river flows.   was there ever a dam in the river?   if so, this busted the dam.   @ this morn's demo, w/ my weh bal chagi (halo kick), i blasted a board into more than 4 pieces.

1205p (pst): we're on our flight back to the bay area, our connecting flight from pittsburgh to sfo.   i do almost feel sad. :-/ almost.   yesterday, while the beautiful kaela kang was getting her foot checked out @ george washington hospital, i emphasized to fahad n' wendy how much this trip has given me my 1st confidence in life outside the bay area.   b4 this trip, i was so afraid that outside cali4nia, in the rest of america, ppl'd be all uncultured, uneducated, n' "backwards."   uhm, ok, i exaggerate. ha ha.   however, yes, i had a big fear of noncali4nian america, i admit.   the 3 places i've frequented in the past few yrs r 1) the bay area, 2) lake tahoe, n' 3? socal.   what's so great 'bout cali4nia?!   we have some really uncultured, uneducated, trashy ppl in cali!!!   while, i met some very intelligent, openminded, thinking ppl in washington, d.c.!   well; cali, d.c.; they both have their bad apples.   phil sez ppl in eugene, oregon r some good quality, friendly ppl.   maybe so.

i haven't had a boba drink in weeks!   when we get back, i really wanna get 1!   altho' i feel this trip out to bobaless washington d.c. was a bit of a growing experience, i refuse to write off boba drinks n' korean gayo musik as elements of immaturity or nething.   sure, the folklife festival really rein4ced the value of tradition culture, which is neither hi culture nor pop culture; sumpthin' professor alan dundes taught me.   however, i'll always insist that the culture of the ppl isn't always just what old skool national geographers wanna document.   'member, when i visit a 4iegn country, i love to visit their convenient store n' browse thru their snack fuds n' visit fast fud joints n' check out the fast fud.   pop culture includes pop musik, pop fashion, pop entertainment, n' pop fud.   musik, fashion, entertainment, fud; they're all elements of culture.

[later, still in flight] 258p (pst): culture means much to me, yes.   yes, i like to discuss many asian issues, participate in asian activities, eat asian fud, etc.   however, i sort'f learned sumpthin' in "the land of no boba": altho' not every1 hates asian culture, not every1 is 100% fascinated by it.   n' u know what?   that's ok.   in fact, maybe it's slightly refreshing??? *shrug* maybe it sometimes appears to me, in cali, that every1, asian or not, has some kind of asian interest: cars, anime, martial arts, "exotic asian women," musik, movies, fud... sumpthin'!   of course, that's not an absolute truth in cali nor outside of cali.   sometimes, it's great to know that ppl in cali share some of my respect 4 asian culture, but it's by far not a necessity.   maybe cali just has so many bizness ties 'cross the pacific.

@ the end of our 2 weeks in d.c., passing by the washington monument felt like passing by the campanile.   kaela n' i got a bit familiar w/ the streets of washington, d.c. n' rosslyn, va.   also, we got a bit familiar w/ the d.c. metro (subway) system.   1 can easily imagine it's bart (bay area rapid transit), altho' it runs so much more efficiently.   washington, d.c. has beautiful. historic structures n' bldgs.   @ the same time s.f., the #1 tourist spot in the world. also has its share.

in the past 2 weeks, while walking 'bout the dusty, gravelly silk road festival grounds, i managed to wear out the old speedo brand massage slippers, which i bought from costco in 1999 n' have worn sooo much since.   i wrecked my previous, similar pair of adidas brand massage slippers while in korea in 1999.   i think i barely managed to wear those slippers back to the u.s. however. i sadly left my speedo slippers in the hotel room's bathroom trash can.   i did this to save valuable baggage space n' to force myself to buy a new pair when i get back to cali.   altho' in this awful teknoplunge economy, i've gotta live a somewhat thrift life, i should take care of certain essentials to live a com4table life, i s'ppose.   my goal shouldn't be to spend less $$$ n' make less $$$; but rathed to make less $$$, spend some $$$, n' save more $$$.   so, on my vacation out of tekno.engineer land into lawyer/politician land, i learned that $$$ is not always evil, eh?   $$$'s not evil when it's just part of the natural progression of life.   throw those old slippers away; buy a new pair.   young man, find urself a new job 4 u will soon no longer be a mere yuppie.in.training, but a full.fledged starbuck's bgh (bovine growth hormone) drinkin' yuppie!   pull up ur khakis! ...the 1s w/ the discreet, extra pockets 4 ur mobile electronics.

i find an internal quandary w/ my particidation in this silk road festival.   @ times, i feel so accomplished 4 having been pretty much a professional martial arts demo team member 4 the past 2 weeks.   however, altho' i know i have a right to feel somewhat accomplished, i shouldn't feel i have nuthin' more to learn.   altho' i did more demos in 2 weeks than even some of the more experienced cal taekwondo demo team members have done in their entire lives, i didn't get to werk so much on those traditional basics i need to improve in order to test 4 my 3dan n' no longer be a 2dan.   i do want to test, so i can no longer be a piddly 2dan but a piddly 3dan.   where do i take my martial arts education from here?

oh shoot! it's actually still 1158p, 2002.07.08.   :-o as i'm still living on east coast time, it feels like it's the wee hrs of the morn!!!   well, please excuse me 4 starting 2morrow's entry early! :-)   *sigh* my left knee hurts from lifting luggage. :-( no good! ng! no good!   ooh! now it's 1200a! a.ha, i can start feel ok 'bout starting 2day's entry! :-) *sigh* well, i'm typing on my own home 'puter now.   2nite, i opened up our new mailbox, as our landlord apparently replaced all our mailboxes while the beautiful kaela kang n' i were gone.   we had tons of mail!   man, i received my e.i.t. certificate w/ the misspelling, but i do believe that they r sending me 1 w/ my correctly spelled last name.   i have tons of pics to transfer from raymond's laptop, which we borrowed 4 the trip, to either my or kaela's 'puter.   i haven't done this yet.   man, i feel so sleepy.   it's cold right now in our apt w/ the windows open, but i hear it'll be a heatwave this week! a record heatwave!   crazy.   so... how will the rest of summer be?   when will i buy my new slippers?

1217a: hrm, how is it that i'm back to updating early in the morn... meaning "late @ nite." >:-( well, yesterday, i bought my new slippers.   in the morn, i dropped the beautiful kaela kang off @ her werk.   then, i tried to get an oil change @ the quality tune.up in el cerrito, on san pablo, but it looked so crowded, so i opted to drive a block further n' go to the penzoil 10 min lube place.   i knew it'd co$t a few $$$ more, but i knew i didn't have that time to wait @ quality tune.up.   the oil change was decently fast, n' they have their customers sit in their cars while they do the oil changes! weird, huh?   well, afterwards, i went to my bank to depo$it some check$.   then i walked thru petco to the shoe pavilion to look 4 slippers.   well, i kind'f hurried cos kaela needed me to pick her up from werk n' bring her to our silk road martial arts teammate tony's dad's chinese medicine clinic 4 her twisted foot.   i picked a slightly more expen$ive slipper, a nice leather pair, made in italy.   'member? i sed i want to avoid buying shoes made in china. :-/ well, i hope this pair lasts a while, i guess.   they r kind'f nice tho', so i worry if i'll have the guts to wear them onto the beach etc. :-/

well, i picked kaela up from werk, n' drove her to the chinese medicine clinic.   along the way, we stopped by the am/pm market n' each got a sobe drink n' a foster farm chicken corn dog.   funny, eh?   we were hungry.   it was 'bout 1030a.   we went to tony's dad's clinic, n' he did some things to kaela's foot n' then applied some herbs n' some sort'f salonpas patch thingy.   then we drove back to berkeley.   we stopped by oakland chinatown.   kaela did some banking biz.   then we looked 4 lunch.   we ended up @ shk (sun hong kong).   the lunch specials there r a pretty good deal!   they give u tons of fud, n' we were so stuffed afterwards!   we walked 'round n' bought some fruits from some li'l markets.     then we went home.

later in the afternoon, just b4 kaela left to a job interview, i went w/ jerome n' laura to ken's milpitas store.   they needed to do some fon biz.   i told them a bit 'bout d.c. on the drive down.   @ ken's store, ken was really bizzy.   i talked a li'l w/ ryan.   after the fon store, the 3 of us hung 'round the milpitas 99 ranch mall 4 a short while.   we got some boba drinks from sweetheart café.   i got a watermelon drink w/ boba. mmm!

then jerome n' laura dropped me off @ home.   kaela had just got home.   i tried hard not to take a nap.   i wetproofed my slippers, watched simpsons, n' cleaned up the apt some.   it's still a mess. :-(   then i went to taekwondo practice.   it was kewl to c berkeley taekwondo ppl 'gain.   the club feels a li'l diff these days. *shrug* it's still good, but sumpthin' -- n' i'm honestly not sure what -- feels diff!   after practice, i swung by andronico's to get green onions n' juice.   i also picked up some salsa n' a dragon sobe drink.   when i got home, i made some zarusoba.

*sigh* i've gotta admit: the idea of looking 4 werk in the sobay appeals to me more these days. :-/ hrm... like, i really don't wanna leave my friends in the east bay, but heh! it's not that far 'way! *roll eyes*   dunno... :-/ i dunno... *sigh* 'member, the d.c. trip changed my life!   like... *sigh* it's really hard to explain, but please allow me to mumble n' ramble 4 a bit: like, i realise that i have spent almost every weeknite 4 the past 4 yrs doing taekwondo.   listen, it's not that i want to do less taekwondo... it's not that i like taekwondo n' less... but i'm learning to take my own advice, i think... i know i really need to make sure i make a life 4 myself, that i do have a reason to live, sumpthin' worth protecting.   if i spend all my time doing taekwondo n' yet am not a taekwondo instructor by calling, by career, by profession; then what do i have?! what do i have to defend?! why study martial arts if u don't have much to live 4?!   2nite, while sittin' on the floor, after kaela passed out on the couch after dinner, i was flipping thru an issue of food & wine n' reminisced 'bout the days in the past when i really enjoyed gourmet cooking. :-/ there were days when i'd spend only 2 weeknites @ taekwondo practice.   in those days i had more time to do things like cook.   'member my college life?   i usually only spent tues n' thurs nite in taekwondo practice... n' then prob'ly fri n' sun afternoons, n' maybe some sat morns or afternoons.   in ne case, i didn't feel ne lame pressure 'bout "oh, if u don't come to practice everynite u rn't a real martial artist." >:-( really... when i was on the cal competition taekwondo team, yah... it was very reasonable that i had to practice every single weeknite n' on sat morn (while having demo team practice on sat afternoon).   yah, that was reasonable... but *sigh* yah... i guess knowing that i have spent almost every single weeknite 4 the past 4 yrs doing taekwondo n' knowing that my taekwondo superiors didn't let me take the 3dan test this summer does sort'f make me take a step back n' think, "shoot, i gotta take things easy! i'm being like those silly color belt students who think they can double promote every single semester just cos they practice on mon, wed, fri nites in addition to the normal tues/thurs werkouts. some things just take time!" shoot! i've accepted that fact in other areas of life...   i've gotta accept it: some things just take time.   u can't just concentrate things, compact things; u can't rush things.   so... what 'bout taking care of other areas of my life?   yup.

916a: man, "days go by" could be the title of so many of my journal entries.   "days go by," the dirty vegas song...   joon signed my gbook, so he's a kewl guy!   yesterday was decently warm in the bay area... uh, in the sobay, i believe it's been a heatwave.   this morn, it's pretty foggily cold in the east bay.   yesterday morn, i dropped the beautiful kaela kang off @ werk n' then headed off to the el cerrito plaza to browse thru some books @ barnes n' noble.   i wanted to check out what the consumer report's buyers guide book thingy had to say 'bout vacuum cleaners.   barnes & nobles isn't s'pposed to be a library, is it?   after taking care of laundry, i picked kaela up from werk, n' we went to 168 4 lunch.   then we went to pinole, where we bought a bagless stick shark vacuum cleaner from best buy.   then we went to target 4 a while.   that target is much better than the el cerrito target.   after target, we hurried home cos my mom came to visit us.   after hangin' 'round our apt 4 a while, we all went to el cerrito plaza n' ate @ pasta pomodoro.   mmm! the fud was very good!   after my mom brought us home, kaela n' i went to an appt w/ a potential wedding fotographer.

[later] 111p: i'm waiting outside of kaela's werk 4 her to come down.   we're s'pposed to go out to lunch n' then out to sf to take care of some shopping matters.   it feels weird to spend $$$ right now, but eh!   i gotta go exchange some pants @ armani exchange.   exchange or else full out return. *shrug* i saw they had a bit of a glitch or tear in a seam.   i'm wondering if i'll go to taekwondo practice 2nite or what.

907a: i have 2 journal entries stored on my hard drive, entries which i haven't put online yet.   this is the 3rd.   weird, huh?   it's as if i'm making this journal an offline journal.   however, i'm not.   i'm a pretty publik guy, a pretty open guy.   i know what not to make publik, 'specially info 'bout other ppl; but i try to live a very open, honest life.   last nite, the beautiful kaela kang n' i watched minority report.   man... if the cops were trying to find out if i'd commit a crime, they could look here 1st, huh?   well, i try to be a good person.

beno waiting 4 kaela in his car

so yesterday was a crazy day: i dropped kaela off 4 werk, but i didn't do nething like go off to el cerrito plaza 'gain, nope.   instead, i went home.   i fell asleep 4 a li'l, n' i accomplished some random tasks.   then i picked kaela up from werk 'round 100p.   well, by the time she came out, it was more like 130p.   i took her to lunch @ "seoul gomtang #2," a relatively new korean restaurant on telly (telegraph ave).   where's seoul gomtang #1?   i think it's on el camino, 'long w/ all those other korean biznesses. *shrug* we both had naengmyuhn (cold noodles): i had hwe naengmyuhn (w/ raw skate fish), n' kaela just had mool naengmyuhn (literally "water cold noodles"; a soupier cold noodle dish).   it was very good.   it's a good restaurant, altho' their kimchi n' ggakdoogi (pickled radish) isn't all that great, even tho' they 'pparently try to sell it in bulk to go. *shrug* they cmed to have some sort'f sattellite tv system that received tv broadcast straight from korea. *shrug* maybe, maybe not.   i sort'f wanna ask ken 'bout this, since he's been selling dish netwerk sattellite tv systems like hotcakes, as they say.

the menu @ seoul gomtang #2

kaela@seoulgomtang.com

on an unrelated note: we saw bear beer @ trader joe's... "gom maekjoo!!!" ha ha ha!
we c cans of this beer in our apt bldg's recycling bin.
we did not purchase ne of this danish beer.

well, after lunch, we drove thru emeryville on our way to sf.   i purposely drove thru emeryville cos i wanted to inflate my tire @ a gas station, n' i knew the shell station on powell has free air.   'member when i got a flat tire last month?   i used a fix.a.flat can, but i realised that i never fully inflated the tire... i think... or else, it just sort'f leaked since.   i 4get.   neway, on the way to the gas station, kaela mildly begged me to take her to trader joe's in emeryville cos she sed she'd never been to 1.   wow, i really thought i must've taken her to 1 sometime, but i guess she was right.   we went in n' bought some nonperishable groceries.   then we went to the gas station, where i inflated the tire.   after that, we were off to sf! :-)

well, i parked my car in the ellis-o.farrell parking structure.   then we walked 'round sf's great shopping area! :-) it was such a beautiful day!   thurs?!   u must be kidding me!   it felt like sat!

we saw this kitty beanie babyesque plush doll lounging atop of a fire hydrant. *shrug*	the beautiful blue n' white sky over sf's union square
the sky above the ross bldg, as cn from the window of sephora	the street below sephora, out by the virgin megastore

the beautiful colours in sephora always cheer me up!

we shopped.   i bought some warmup pants n' socks fromt he jumbo old navy.   i bought a jacket cos i was cold n' some underwear from club monaco; it was all on good sale.   i bought a pair of shoes from j.crew, utilising the gift card that jeanna n' jay (kaela's siblings) gave me 4 christmas.   2 pairs of italian shoes in 1 week?   i'm just doing my part in not buying chinese made shoes. *shrug*

after shopping we fetched my car n' went to amc 1000 van ness.   we ate dinner @ venture frogs, the much underrated asian.fusion restaurant.   then we watched minority report.   alas, i missed taekwondo practice.   i told u that i was worried i would. *shrug*

1007a: i also missed taekwondo practice this morn.   what's wrong w/ me?!   yes, i admit: i am quite burnt out by taekwondo @ the moment; finally.   u c, besides needing to focus on my career more, i am actually now facing a 0.25 life crisis of sorts in my taekwondo "career," if u can call it that.   u c, yes... i am getting older.   yet, no; i am not a taekwondo "master," not a taekwondo sabuhm.   i'm not 1 of these guys, born in korea, raised from age 4 on taekwondo, who got their 5dan @ age 18, etc.   yet, as u get older in taekwondo, it's like... u either quit or u become an instructor.   what becomes of those older guys n' women who rn't master instructors? those who rn't career martial artists? :-/ well, @ ucmap, it's nice that we do have oldtimers.   other places? i dunno if they have so many oldtimers.   it's always easy to be good @ taekwondo when u'r young.   not only is it physically easier, but u've got more support of peers, u know?   when u'r older, u've really gotta wanna practice taekwondo, n' u've really gotta find the right kind'f support.   honestly, i really don't wanna quit practicing taekwondo.   i don't consider myself good 'nuff to be a master instructor.   i still need to continue my learning process.   yet as u get older, it gets harder to be a student instead of an instructor cos'f social pressures, u know?   what if u'r not good 'nuff to be an instructor? then u have social pressures just to quit.   i don't wanna quit.   i wanna go on.   i'm in an odd situation.   :-/ u gotta admit, in some ways i'm the 1st big demo team leader that berkeley taekwondo has cn.   4 the past yr, i've been itching to sort'f ease out of that role cos i need to take care of other things.   yet, :-( i really don't wanna c our efforts of our past few yrs go to waste, u know?   i really fear, @ the moment, that berkeley taekwondo may be entering a dark ages of sorts. *sigh* well, transitions r hard.   i'd like to practice taekwondo w/ toby sometime.   how 'bout 2morrow morn w/ the "family" class?   even tho' i don't get a good werkout @ the family class, i feel it's a great environment as the oldtimers bring their kids, etc.   i like that!   i'd love to be like that someday! :-)

i k the sobay.   lemme tell u: whatever will be will be.   i don't want to leave the east bay.   it's not that i hate the east bay.   i still love berkeley, etc.   even tho' i shy 'way from the telegraph ave. berkeley scene, i like north berkeley life, being close to sf, n' being close to the suburbs of the east bay.   where will we settle down? *big shrug* i dunno.   a coupl'f days 'go i applied 4 a job online, a job in berkeley or oakland; i 4get.   it sounds like a good match 4 me, but they haven't contacted me yet. :-(   i really need a new job!

429p: i was s'pposed to practice taekwondo w/ jerome.   sorry, jerome.   what a late start to the day. :-(

check out: "free not to choose today." funny.   'member? i wrote that poem a while 'go... a long while 'go, back when i was werkin' in sf.   i'm starting to get sort'f upset that i haven't gotten much exercise lately. >:-(

yesterday was fri.   i picked the beautiful kaela kang up from werk.   we drove down to milpitas where she picked up her new motorla v60c cellfon from ken's store.   we loitered there 4 a while, then ate lunch in milpitas @ the tk noodles there.   then we went to stanfurd mall.   'member? i had that situation w/ my a|x pants.   well, they're gonna stitch 'em up n' hem them 4 me.   it'll be done on wed.   then we went to valley fair, where gap body is giving away free underwear if u have a printout of their online coupon thingy.   then we went back to stanfurd, where a bunch'f us went to miyake 4 dinner: nelson, his friend from hongkong susan, his bro mike, mike's gf vivian, eric, ken, kaela, n' me.   miyake is a japanese restaurant w/ decent fud, but it's just a big frat party.   they have loud, loud musik n' a boisterous crowd.   the fud's actually pretty cheap.   then we watched road to perdition @ some mtn view century 16 theatre.   man, after that movie, we were sooo tired!

827a: hi; good morning.   i'm up, but i missed taekwondo practice this morn.   am i not always saying that these days?   it's awful! :-( really awful!   neway, i had a dream this morn: i dreamt mostly 'bout my company.   1st i dreamt i kept running into ppl who looked just like my 4mer cowerkers, the engineers who were laid off or quit.   it was funny; like, the ppl i'd c would have definite features reminiscent of these cowerkers, but they'd have some fundamental difference in their faces, u know?   however, as dreams always do, things changed from there.   i dreamt that my company moved their office into an elementary skool library, n' it had hired lots'f my friends from taekwondo along w/ all its 4mer employees. /:-\ whuh?!   hrm... i also dreamt sumpthin' 'bout ken having a pool @ his store... n' sumpthin' 'bout swimming w/ toby n' the beautiful kaela kang.   hrm... i wish i had written down this dream as soon as i woke up.   after i realised i missed practice when i woke up, i just felt 2 lazy to write.

u can check out this pic: kaela n' beno @ silk road project.   check out the entire the official silk road project website!

so the kewl, new radio station in the bay area is 92.7fm!

[later] 1116a: please check out "cell phone number-portability likely on hold."   [later] 735p: a page 'bout tapas [later] 1146p: i went to taekwondo practice 2nite! woohoo!

1234a: i'm sleepytired.   we have 2 movies from blockbuster video to watch by sun. :-/   we have jay & silent bob strike back n' a.i.   this fri'll mark 1 yr till the beautiful kaela kang's n' my wedding! :-) crazy, huh?   in 1 yr, from fri, we'll be married!   well, the past week or so has been a week of my telling myself, "dangit! act ur age!"   all the time, 4 the past month or so, i've beaten myself over the head w/ how phil told me that i do act like an 11 yr old. :-(   i taunt n' tease myself 'bout how i think so much 'bout my taekwondo n' dj life: "what?! u wanna be a rock star ninja?! stoopid kid!"   yah, i kick myself 'round 'lot. *shrug* i cm to try to beat myself into submitting to the picket fence life.   don'tchu 'member? back in college, sometime btwn soph n' jr yr, i decided that i shouldn't be such an individualist n' that i should try to act "normal".   i dunno. *sigh* it's just my state of uncertain employment, u know? <:-( all of the sudden $$$ makes the world go 'round.   there was a time when the bay area was full of engineers n' young tekkies w/ lots'f $$$ yet no respekt 4 the concept of $$$.   of course, this is according to po bronson, right? *shrug* no, i witnessed it 1sthand; it's true.   neway, beat urself up is never a good way of life.   yah, i prob'ly am not as cheery as ppl might say i usually am. *shrug* oh! i have my happy moments, no doubt!   heck, being w/ a beautiful, wonderful woman all the time; of course i'm happy! :-) however, *sigh* there r times i just feel like all my efforts r so futile.   this could possibly be after writing a bunch of cover letters n' follow up letters n' yet not getting good responses. *shrug* where r those great opportunities?   do i need to explore new fields? both different career fields n' just different physical locations? *shrug*

yah, i'm more willing to move out of berkeley; yes.   well, i'd rather stay in cali still.   even tho' i was bewildered n' stunned by d.c.'s beautiful architecture n' surprising amt of culture; i really like the abundance of stores that sell mashimaro plush toys in the bay area or else socal. *shrug*

exploring diff career fields? what colour is my parachute???   what can i do besides engineering?   taekwondo, djing, snowboarding. :-/ teach taekwondo? open up a snowboard store? start up a korean gayo radio station? heh! that'd be kewl.   *sigh* can i open up a panasian comfort fud joint?! ha ha ha. *sigh* back in college, i really loved to cook, n' i sort'f wished that i could someday open up a restaurant.   however, *sigh* that really cms way 2 stressful!   i don't think i'm a good cook nemore.   in my more naive days, i thought i was. *shrug* heh, as a kid i sometimes wondered if i could someday be a professional author.   i never talked much 'bout that, but as a kid i did like writing.   however, i wrote some really stoopid stories.   i grew out of that n' now just write some really stoopid journal entries.

ever since we got back from d.c., i've been a li'l less social, i've gotta admit.   yes, i have had some contact w/ other humans... but i haven't been the complete social social social guy i 1nce was.   i do wanna hang out w/ ppl.   there r some ppl i haven't hung out w/ in a long time: berkeley ppl... takewondo ppl...   those r the ppl we usually c the most of, but lately we haven't cn 2 much of them. *shrug* u know... believe it or not, i think i've actually come to terms w/ the dissolution / passing of the ol' cal taekwondo party crew. *shrug* sure, a long, long time 'go i'd hang w/ a big group of 20-30 ppl n' go out to dinners, movies, clubbing, noraebang... all w/ this huge gang / posse. *shrug* u know... those days got further n' further away.   up until recently, i sort'f yearned 4 those days.   now? i 1nce 'gain feel like maybe losing the big crowd of friends is part of growing up.   however, u know what? back in college i sed the exact same dang thing!   n' u know what? i really regretted ever thinking like that!!!   i had a group of friends in early college, then i told myself simply to work hard @ skool or w/ my internship n' have a steady relationship w/ my average gf @ the time.   i decided that was the steady life, the normal life, the settled life, the way to go. *scoff* *roll eyes* then that all came to an end.   then i regretted ditching my friends 4 the so.called "settled life."   now what?   i feel less social these days.   should i go w/ the flow n' believe that doing more independent things n' losing the crowd of friends is part of growing up?   well, *sigh* i guess i'll hopefully find that perfect balance. <:-( is that the right solution?   i'm glad on sun, we went to 2 b.day parties: cynthia's n' michelle's.   @ michelle's party, i felt a li'l old, but should that bother me?   *shrug* like, darren was there, so i had more of peer in him.   n' u know what? personally, i don't mind hangin' w/ younger ppl.   sure, i don't wanna only hang w/ younger ppl; but i think i'm com4table w/ it.   u know, back in the heyday of the cal taekwondo party crew, most of the p.crew members were younger than me... mostly by a yr or 2.   @ 1st that sort'f made me feel uncom4table: "dang, i hang w/ such young ppl," i thought.   then it did cm like the ppl in my "crowd" got younger n' younger. *sigh* u know? i'm not 20!   i'm gonna turn 27 this august.   i'm getting married in a yr!   the idea of being barely legal to buy alcohol is so 4eign to me.   even the whole idea of college life is rapidly becoming part of my distant past.   even the "young graduate" life is drifting off into my past!!! when i was in college "young graduates" cmed so old, eh?   like, when i'd hang w/ nelson's san diego friends, sometimes big bros of nelson's friends'd hang w/ us.   they were young graduates n' cmed so old to me.   then i became 1 of those guys: young graduates that still hang much w/ older undergrads.   now, i'm older than those guys.   this old man just wants to pay off his bills n' go to sleep!

[later] 152p: wow, they have a drama on channel 26 that is all in taiwanese. wow, the things u learn when u'r @ home during the day. :-(   my new v60c fon came in via fedex 2day.   on last sun, after cynthia's party, b4 michelle's party, i brought my car to touchless carwash to get washed.   then i brought it home n' waxed it myself using this turtle wax that i bought from kragen a long time 'go 4 really, really cheap.   yah, the car is really shiny; but i'm wondering how i can make it as shiny as new. *shrug*

beno @ berkeley's touchless carwash, waiting 4 his subaru forester

i ate leftover pasta 4 lunch.   last nite, b4 practice, kaela cooked some pasta using pasta n' sauce we bought from trader joe's last week.   i made smoothies last nite, n' i made smoothies this afternoon.   lemme ask u a serious question n', yes, i very much do want/expect answers from u: wouldju rather be mistaken 4 younger or older? hrm... is that the question i wanted to ask? :-/ hrm... would u rather be told u act older than u r or younger than u r?   maybe that's the question.   in ne case, why not just discuss the whole general topik.   i'd prefer u answer via my gbook.   however, i'll also accept answers via e.mail

317p: there ought to be more bathroom graffiti in foreign languages!

446p: time flies.   i try to get things done, but time flies.   i've been home most the day, n' i've been eating lousy stuff.   i feel yucky.   tues nite, the demo team had a special dinner thingy 4 yoon sabuhmnim.   after that, the beautiful kaela kang n' i left 4 san jo.   we stopped in union city @ some gas station's convenient store, n' i bought a bottle of wisdom sobe while kaela took our her contacts.   i told kaela, "if i had to own a gas station, i'd want to own it in a safer place like union city instead of a ghetto."   then we drove home.   in the late morn, i drove kaela to an interview, then i killed some time.   @ 1st, i drove to valley fair mall.   i sat in the parking lot playing w/ my new fon. then i realised, "geez, i don't wanna be @ valley fair!"   i drove to fry's on hamilton.   there, i browsed thru the handheld computing magazine.   then kaela called me n' sed it was time to pick her up.   i picked her up, n' we looked 4 a lunch place to go w/ ken.   we ended up @ jangtuh soondae on el camino by point, the korean bar/hof we used to go to w/ ken.   ken met us there.   we had lunch: soondae, haemool pajuhn, n' dalkgui.

kaela n' i saw this pet fud truck on el camino b4 lunch.

kaela n' i were impressed w/ the flowers @ stanfurd mall

after lunch, kaela n' i drove up to stanfurd mall, so i could pick up my altered/fixed pants from a|x.   we walked 'round stanfurd mall a li'l, then drove home.   i drove locally on el camino cos i wanted to stop @ a drive.thru to get a soda.   ugh! i pulled into the j.box drive thru, but i think i hit the curb on the way in.   after i got the soda, i kept driving, but i felt like the alignment was off.   finally, an old lady rolled down her window n' told me i had a flat tire.   nuts! i had been driving on a flat tire!   it must'f gone flat from when i hit the curb on the way into j.box! :-(   i tried carefully to find a gas station to pull into.   i tried to fill the tire up w/ air but immediately heard hissing. nuts.   i put on the full.size spare tire.

beno raising up the car after loosening the lugnuts (kaela took this pic w/ my targus handcam.)

beno putting on the spare tire (kaela took this pic w/ my targus handcam.)

then we drove to the almaden plaza chevy's 4 dinner w/ my mom, grace, n' steve.   the last time we went to chevy's we weren't that hungry cos we had an in.n.out burger on the way back from tahoe.   that time, we went to chevy's 4 sophia's b.day.   last nite, i wasn't that hungry either cos'f lunch n' the coke from j.box.   i had a chicken soft taco n' a chicken tamale.   dinner was actually pretty good.   after dinner, kaela n' i stopped by home to get our stuff then headed back up to berkeley.   it had been sooo sunshiny in san jo, but the sky ahead, up in the east bay, looked sooo gloomy!!! so cloudy!   we tried to get back in time to watch the notorious c.h.o. w/ roland, but it was pretty hopeless, so we told him we couldn't do it.   yah, we got there later than 900p, so it was good we did.

the sun sets over almaden plaza n' almaden expressway in san jo.
we stopped by the 76 station to gas up b4 leaving to berkeley.

i wanna thank kaela n' my "private entry" visitor 4 signing my gbook!   u should 2!

842a: i am awake.   i went to am practice.   i was on time.   kewl.   i felt good.   u know... i'm so torn apart these days.   every day, i have a diff dream.   every day, i have a diff hope, a diff aspiration, a diff goal.   maybe it's nice to have so many diff dreams.   however, it's not good 2 have 2 many "broken dreams," right?   i never wanted to live a whimsical life either.

907a: aaah, i just took a shower.   i feel better.   i feel better this morn, in general.   last nite, i felt very depressed.   last nite, i missed taekwondo practice... surprise, surprise.   after we decided that we missed practice, the beautiful kaela kang n' i set out on foot.   we walked to solano ave.   me, i just felt aimless.   i felt like forrest gump, that i just wanted to keep walking n' walking n' walking.   of course, forrest ran, but i was 2 lethargic to run; i could only walk.   finally, we stopped 4 dinner @ miyuki, a japanese restaurant.   we had some sushi.   i knew miyuki's a li'l overpriced but 4got that the sushi's actually pretty good quality.   then we walked back.   altho' it was 2 dark to c well, we could smell the trees that form an archway over the berkeley streets.

when we got home, we watched our last of the 3 videos we rented, which were a beautiful mind, a.i., n' jay and silent bob strike back.   we watched jay and silent bob last nite.   i don't remember if i mentioned that we watched the other 2 earlier this week. *shrug* i really got into that kevin smith series of movies after watching chasing amy way back in college w/ toby.   last nite, after watching the movie, i quickly reminisced in my mind 'bout those days.   eh! as much as i'm glad i met great ppl like toby, phil, fahad, ed park, vince... i'm so glad i'm out of college!   why do i now look back on college n' feel like they were as awkward as my "wonder years," (my adolescent, middle skool yrs)?   i look back n' feel i lived such a silly life back then.   pretty soon, i'll feel that my early 20s; my early "adult," "working world" yrs; were such awkward, silly yrs; pretty soon!

i think 'bout my young friends:   some of them have just graduated college or will graduate soon.   do i wanna disillusion them n' tell them how silly my early "working life" yrs were?   :-/ no, not really, no.   as much as i look back in almost embarassment, i guess i need to let my young friends go thru the natural course of life, u know?   as much as i love to help ppl out w/ advice etc. 4 life, i should sometimes let nature take its course.

when i look back on my young graduate yrs, i feel i was so immature.   yah, i partied so much.   i was so social social.   was i the "swinging bachelor"?   well, >:-/ it depends on whatchu mean by that!   i can honestly say i never went 'round like having 1 nite stands w/ diff women etc.!   seriously!   i dunno if it's a good thing or bad thing; but really, i didn't.   sure i met lots'f young women... but shoot! i met lots of male n' female friends in general, u know?   i was just a really social guy.   hrm, am i that antisocial these days?

why do i feel so silly 'bout those yrs?   yah, good question.   *sigh* i guess i don't need to feel silly, nope.   i just feel they were so diff from life now.   however, in a way, i guess i shouldn't feel silly.   i can almost look back on those yrs n' feel pride!   can i? *shrug*   well, shoot! i can open up my old journals n' read 'bout those yrs: the beno journal.   that's the old installment of my journal that has the most documentation of those yrs, right?   yah, it should be, as it supposedly covers 1998-2000.   that means must cover events when i was still in college, just like the beno manifesto.   n' of course the beno journal, 2001 edition covers a portion of life after kaela n' i got 2gether.   heh! 2001 wasn't that long 'go! ha ha ha >X-D *sigh* it's so weird how documentation of my life increased from when i started college till now.   my freshman yr, i barely took ne pictures, n' i definitely did not have an online journal!   soph yr, i decided to take lots'f pictures.   i have many pics in albums of soph, jr yr.   then by my 1st sr yr, i started journalling, i guess.   that increased so much after i graduated college.   geez, 'member my midcollege yrs?! *sigh* funny! c, i look back on those yrs n' sort'f laff.   'member jr yr?! that was when i lived w/ cathy n' ivy, n' i got to hang out w/ toby lots.   i was pretty involved w/ intervarsity christian fellowship in those days. *sigh* it's so funny to think back on those days.   u know, thru.out college, yah; i was always somewhat active in taekwondo.   of course, after i graduated, i really dived into it, really deep.

man, life is so crazy!   so many paths, how do i choose which 1 to take?! argh! i shouldn't get all pseudo.poetic now! sheesh! i'll end up writing a new beno at the crossroads piece every single day! *roll eyes*

[a li'l later] 943a: i dled cool's jinshil video from bronx's junkyard ha ha ha! that silly, li'l video made me chuckle a li'l, showed me a good time. ha ha ha. i noticed bronx's has a lee junghyun video up: pyuhnghwa.   i really like lee junghyun.

[later] 127p: since 1) kaela already had lunch plans, 2) i still wanted to have a decent lunch 2day, n' 3) i was sick of being so antisocial n' wanted to c some good ol' friends; i had lunch w/ jerome n' laura.   i went over to jerome n' andy's apt.   on my way there, i called up joon on the cellfon.   ever notice, when i turn social n' get back in touch w/ a coupl'f ol' friends, i usually start getting a li'l more n' more social n' calling up others?   well, b4 i called up jerome 'bout lunch, i went to the berkeley tire center to ask 'bout my yokohama geolander h/t 215/60/16 that i need so badly.   they told me that tirerack.com, the place i got my current set, is the closest supplier of yokohama tires.   tirerack.com is in reno, nevada.   when i got to jerome's place, i got on andy's 'puter n' ordered a tire from tirerack.com.   the item is backordered, but i hope it'll get here soon! :-/   i talked to joon 4 a while on the fon while jerome n' laura got ready.   then jerome, laura, n' i went to yeitnal jjajang 4 lunch. mmm! yum yum! :-)   u know... on the fon, joon n' i talked 'bout how there rn't 'nuff li'l, korean restaurants like steve's korean bbq where u can order a single serving of galbi or bulgogi, etc.   sure, there's sorabol, but ugh! i never liked sorabol much; n' joon sez there's just no love in sorabol's fud.   true.   what if me n' joon got 2gether somewhere n' opened 1 up! ha ha ha!!! well, this morn, my taekwondo training partner reminded me to consider alternate careers, eh?   ha ha ha.   well, u know, i sure love marinating maewoondalkgui, but :-/ i've never marinated my own galbi or bulgogi!

man, i was sort'f upset that i missed last nite's practice cos every1's telling me they did some really fun stuff! :-(   i'm glad i practiced this morn.   on sun nite, we have our wutc committee heads dinner.   in a way, i know i've gotta "bite my tongue," as they say.   *sigh* yah, i have been very upset 'bout the unfair, uneven distribution of werk in the taekwondo club; very upset.   sometimes, i look back on my time in the berkeley taekwondo club n' think that i was 1nce a stoopid, young punk 2. :-/ then i decided to take on responsibilities, n' 4 that i just get dumped on, u know?   1 thing i 'member 'bout being a stoopid young punk is that u gotta bite the hand that feeds u.   that's just the way it is.

i'm listening to 92.7fm to some teknostuff.   i do like it.   roland brought me back from canada a kewl teknorave cd.   i like that. :-)   [later] 213p: man, 1 thing 'bout this new v60c fon is that i gotta program in every1's fon numbers, n' it uses a diff kind'f filing system. :-/ assigning speed dial numbers is quite a task.   4 some ppl there's an obvious mnemonic number.   4 others, i give them a number.   the thing i hate is thinking that there's some value judgement associated w/ assigning numbers.   i like programming ringtones into my fon.   right now my ring is j's "uhjei chuhruhm," but my arrangment makes kaela laff cos she sez it doesn't sound right. :-( [later] 328p: who per4ms this tekno cover of bryan adam's "heaven"??? hrm, i did a quick websearch. is it erya gail?   maybe it's dj sammy j n' yanou robins? yah, i think that's it. *sigh* i miss audiogalaxy. :-(

208p: i'm @ the rsf, @ the "pro shop" (the snack bar), sittin' @ a table, waiting 4 the beautiful kaela kang to finish her shower.   t 1st thing we did 2day was come to the rsf n' do a butt gallery werkout.   2day's our 30th monthversary.   :-)  we're gonna go horseback riding @ 0.5 moon bay now.   i'm worried we'll get a parking tic right now <:-(

[later, @ nite]: graacher himmelreich reisling.

217a: i'm home, typin' on my home 'puter.   i really shouldn't be up right now, but i'm not very sleepy.   i've gotta remind myself later to post up some pics from when the beautiful kaela kang n' i went horseback riding @ seahorse ranch yesterday on our 30th monthversary day.   ah, that was fun.   after werkin' out @ the rsf, we showered, got into kaela's car, n' drove to 0.5 moon bay, stopping @ the j.box drive.thru to grab lunch n' @ the arco 4 some gas.   we've been to seahorse ranch 4 horseback riding b4, back in 2000.   'member?   (please refer to , .)   i know that place is a good place n' relatively cheap, 'specially w/ the internet coupon they offer.   we got group 2gether on our 2 hr ride w/ this other asian couple, a younger couple.   i think the guides, who switched off @ diff pts on our ride, thought we came 2gether or sumpthin'.   yah, i got some pics from the ride, so i gotta remind myself to post them up.   well, after the ride, we went to sf.   c, i made us some reservations 4 dinner @ maya restaurant (303 2nd st [btwn harrison n' folsom], sf, ca 95107).   well, uhm... since kaela felt underdressed 4 the occasion, we swung by stonestown mall, where we both kind'f uhm... bought some outfits 4 dinner.   uhm, yah... i feel kind'f embarrased 'bout this. :-( poor planning, huh?   well, shoot! we woke up, went to the rsf, went horseback riding, n' then went to our monthversary dinner. :-/ what a crazy day!   *sigh* geez, i feel like we went on a date from the tv show blind date!   what the heck?!?!   crazy, rn't we?   neway, yah, we went to stonestown n' got some clothes, changed in the bathroom, n' went to maya restaurant.   it was really good.   i guess it's prob'ly the best mexican restaurant i've been to in america.   we might've gone to some comaparable mexican restaurants in cancun last summer.   well, @ dinner, i talked to kaela a bunch 'bout how the economy has just continued to get worse. :-( i pted out how the restaurant was not full @ all, even tho' it's a pretty well.known, well.respekted restaurant.   like 2 yrs go, when i'd take kaela out 4 our monthversary dinner, we could go out to comparably popular restaurant in sf on a weeknite n' it'd be jam.packed.   crazy.

[later] 257a: i'm sad to admit that i think i have a li'l bit of insomnia 2nite. :-(

[much later] 347p: i'm an uncle to an 8 lb. baby boy! :-) my mom tried to call me 'round 200p, i believe; but i got the voicemail much later. wow! :-)

1002a: my sister grace n' her husband steve gave birth to their new baby boy yesteday: mason.   i have yet to c him, but i can't wait! :-) my mom called w/ the news.   she sez he's "very cute." :-) i wanna c.

i feel like 1nce 'gain i'm sort'f getting behind in my journal writing, that lots'f stuff is going on in my life that i don't get a chance to write 'bout. :-/ as always, i gotta ask, "is it better to live life or write 'bout it?"   i've had plenty of anxiety n' jitteriness lately; plenty.   i just wanna know what will become of me in a month or so. :-( i wish i i knew... or 'least i think i wish i knew.   in so many ways life is very hektic these days.   yes, it's very much a time 4 celebration 4 all the good new changes in this world: 1) my li'l nephew's birth, 2) my upcoming wedding to the beautiful kaela kang.

[later] 700p: i've been so sleepy 2day. :-( it has not been an awfully produktive day! :-( well, i went to the tang center w/ kaela cos she was having her irritated eye checked out.   there, we ran into romy.   it was kewl to c her.   she graduated last semester.   i hope she keeps doing taekwondo in berkeley from here on.   it's funny cos i graduated a long time 'go, but i never stopped doing taekwondo @ berkeley, but then there have been so many students that have come n' gone after my college days, u know? :-/ neway, after kaela's tang center appt, i drove her back to her werk, where i waited outside 4 a while.   then we went to longs drugs to get some eye medicine 4 her.   it took a long time.   i read some magazines.   geez, it's been a long, long time since i read a real book.   'least i can still read magazines now n' then. :-/

uhm, i didn't even mention that on sun morn, kaela n' i went to dimsum @ pacific east seafud restaurant in the richmond 99.   it was s'pposed to be a bit of a wedding party get2gether, but only toby n' cynthia could make it.   we had good fud.   it was fun.   my groomsman toby had never met kaela's bridesmaid cynthia b4, so that's good that they met.

man, don'tchu hate deciding whether to nap/sleep or stay 'wake?! :-( u know what else i find less than favourable?   phlegm.   yuck!   i hate having phlegm in my throat n' dislike hearing phlegm in other ppl's voices.   sorry, i'm just like that. >-)

[later] 1157p: kaela n' i went to taekwondo practice.     afterwards, some of us went to get boba drinks n' eat @ the durant fud ghetto.   we got boba drinks from sweetheart n' ate 2gether @ the vietnamese restaurant there.   in some ways, it was sort'f like the original, ol' days of p.crew.   every1 there was a taekwondo bronx's junkyard member.

449p: 2day is july 23. hrm, i shouldn't answer ne nonverizon fon calls during peak hrs (b4 801p) 2day or 2morrow, i think.   or maybe that's just 2day.   i think i'm out of included peak minutes on my monthly cellfon plan 4 this month.   as soon as the next billing cycle starts, which is 2morrow or the day after, i'll have plenty of peak mins.   fon calls after 801p? oh, no problem! i have plenty of offpeak mins to spare!   well, how r u? yah, if u haven't done so recently, please sign my gbook.   johnny (chang): thank u very much! :-)   joon: whenever u can, when i'm not in taekwondo practice, please give me a call.   (u'r a verizon customer, n' i have nationwide mobile.to.mobile mins to spare.   u can call me, n' it'll be free 4 both of us.)   i've read joon's recent journal entry, n' i know we've got stuff to talk 'bout: skool, taekwondo, etc... n' does joon own a dog?!

[a li'l later] 538p: 4 lunch, the beautiful kaela kang n' i went to rubio's baja grill in the beautiful el cerrito plaza.   we walked thru petco to get there, ate, n' then browsed in barnes & nobles.   then i dropped kaela off @ her werk.   i picked up a csu grad skool app from an office in oakland.   then i drove home.   these days, i'm usually driving kaela's kia sportage.     i liken parking it in her small, tight parking spot to landing a plane.   well, i actually have made some smooth landing so far. *cross fingers* w/ kaela's car n' parking spot, the shotgun passenger is more like a copilot during the "landing."   well, even tho' the solo flight landings r harder; so far, i've done ok. phew.

[later] 642p: ok, i should show some pics from our 30th monthversary day (please c "30th monthversary", from 2002.07.20.):

beno on a horse
(kaela took this pic w/ her digielph.)

beno @ maya restaurant (kaela took this pic w/ her digielph.)

keno after dinner

these pics rn't as clear as i wish they'd be. :-( like, the full size pics look good; but then when i shrink the pics, they start uh... pixelated. :-/ like, i guess if i use "smooth" when i resize 'em w/ microsoft's foto editor, that helps a li'l... but not 'nuff.   yah, there's sumpthin' not good w/ the resampling as i shrink, right?

[later] 705p: phil just wrote me an e.mail n' supposedly quote me: "u respekt yourself by allowing others respekt u."   :-/ do i 'member saying that?   hrm, well, after hearing it; i realised that i could imagine that i 1nce sed that to phil.   *shrug*

[later] 1155p: i went to taekwondo practice.   it was very fun.   i gave raymond a ride home.   we stopped @ sweetheart café 4 boba drinks. raymond bought drinks 4 kaela n' me.   then i went home.   kaela had cooked salmon n' do miao (pea sprouts) 4 dinner. mmm!

*sigh* u know, these days when i walk up n' down the berkeley city streets w/ the berkeley street characters... i just get in a very ugly, bad mood.   like, i'm sick of shady characters n' panhandlers. *sigh* uhm... i didn't tell u guys 'bout how i had to call the cops a coupl'f nites 'go cos i saw a guy drive off in a stolen car, right? ok, as it's now 1201a, wed morn, that's a story 4 'nother day!

138a: last nite, @ the end of the red/black belt class, the beautiful kaela kang n' i announced our move to san josé.   we went w/ master royce n' the class to kip's.   right now, joon n' his li'l bro yun r staying @ our place.

yun n' joon sleep on our loveseat.

843p: yesterday morn, i tagged 'long w/ joon.   4 lunch, we got some takeout from kkokko house: 1 tongdalk, 2 yangnyuhm tongdalk, n' 1 order of ramyuhn dduhkbokki.   mmm... what a good lunch.   a woman came to take away some wireframe cubicle shelf that i was giving away on craig's list, the internet classifieds.   later, after joon n' yun left, i went to pusan market to buy some groceries.   then the beautiful kaela kang n' i cooked 4 the silk road martial art team potluck.   kaela made pajuhn.   i made dduhkbokki.   wow, so much dduhkbokki in 1 day, eh?   the potluck was very fun but ran later than i had planned 4.   instead of driving down to san jo, kaela n' i stayed in berkeley.

the 1st pic to be posted on the internet from the bronx's junkyard bbq!
ha ha ha :-)

136a: so much has happened since i last updated.   uh, well, "so much" is relative, i s'ppose.   *sigh* i mean, it's not like i won the lottery on sat nite or nething... un4tunately... however, yah, we went to the bronx's junkyard bbq on sat.   we were very late to the bbq cos we were bizzily packing some of our stuff in berkeley to move to san jo.   we missed noraebang cos we were unloading our stuff in san jo.   then we missed the clubbing trip to bellagio cos the beautiful kaela kang had an eye infection... well, she's had it 4 the past week, u know.   however, it got worse during the bbq cos she wore contacts to the bbq instead of her glasses. :-(   *sigh* yah, it's sad that we didn't get to go to bellagio... *sigh* it's kind'f kewl that hyun sed that bruce, the manager, asked 'bout me (as a dj). :-) kewl.   well, since we couldn't go clubbing, we went w/ nelson, his bro mike, mike's gf vivian, n' nelson's friend mikka to a vietnamese noodle place in east san jo.   it's open till 300a! crazy, huh?

on sun, we went to grace n' steve's place, saw mason, n' met up w/ my dad.   we went to a korean bbq buffet 4 lunch.   after that, kaela n' i tried to go to a sjsu (san josé state university) bookstore to buy a class skedule 4 me, but it was closed.   uh... i don't think i've told u guys that i applied 4 sjsu's msme (master of science in mechanical engineering) program.   upes. <:-) as i've mentioned, i haven't had time to write 'bout all the stuff that's gone on in the past week!   life is hektic n' chaotic... but in a good way, right? *shrug*   *sigh* well, the bookstore was closed, so we just went home n' cleaned up our junk.   later, in the evening, we left 4 palo alto (to stanfurd territory) to watch sundog per4m @ the rose n' crown english pub.   sundog is a rock group that has toby as the lead singer, stephan garcia as the guitarist, alex kley as the bassist, gary seto as the keyboardist, n' chris (uh... sumpthin') as the drummer.   i went to hi skool w/ alex n' stephan.   toby...u know toby; i met toby freshman yr of college.   it was a kewl concert!   ha ha ha! *sigh* life is sooo crazy.   ok, i saw jarvis's roommate sang @ the concert.   sang introduced me to his friend eddie.   after i talked to eddie 4 like 5 mins, i deduced that eddie is a guy whom i played w/ when i was like 5!!! :-o eddie shaw.   his sister katie n' cousin peggy were friends w/ my sister grace.   like, i haven't cn him since i was like 6!!!   however, the pieces fit 2gether, n' i came to that conclusion!   he didn't totally 'member me, but yah... i had his history totally down.   the funny thing is that he's moved back into his old house in almaden valley... n' now kaela n' i r moving into my old house in almaden valley. *sigh* it's sooo crazy that we've found ourselves right back where we started!!! ha ha ha. oh yah, eddie went to cal 2.   oh yah! jarvis n' irene r engaged! woohoo! congratulations! :-)   ah... 2nite (as in last nite) was such a reunion nite 4 me!!!   college friends... hi skool friends... kindergarten friends... ha ha ha!

after the concert, kaela n' i drove back up to berkeley via el camino real n' sf.   crazy, huh?   i just wanted to explore, u know?   i took el camino from stanfurd all the way up until it somehow turned into san josé ave or way or whatever in sf.   then it somehow turned into guerrero.   then i took market st to van ness to get onto the hiway back to berkeley. *sigh* crazy!   i just wanted to show kaela more of the bay area... the parts outside of berkeley, u know?   man! i tell u! some berkeley students come from socal, n' they never realise just how much more there is to the bay area than just the city of berkeley n' well... maybe sf.   u know?   ah, the bay area is a wonderful place, i tell u!!!   oh yah, on the way up el camino, since we weren't full from the caesar salad @ the rose n' crown, we got drive.thru from j.box! :-)   kaela remarked how it's so much more fun to eat fast fud @ nite.   i agreed: if u eat fast fud @ nite, it's often cos u've been out doing sumpthin' fun.   however, if u eat fast fud during the day, it's often cos u'r just 2 bizzy doing stressful stuff. *shrug*

speaking of bad.4.me fud... man! i didn't explain the pic up above, eh?   that's the donut burger that jerome consumed @ the bronx's junkyard bbq!!!   ha ha ha.   me, i had a bite of it.

jerome eats the infamous donut burger!!! :-) it's made w/ 2 krispy kreme donuts as buns n' 1 all beef patty in the middle! peter (bronx) takes a pic of jerome eating.

just like the other pics, this is just an untouched pic taken w/ my targus handcam. ha ha ha! it looks like the donut burger has some kind of effect on jerome! it looks like it even warped up darren (idigu) who's smiling in the background. *roll eyes* my handcam tends to distort pics when the subject(s) don't stand still, etc. it's a funny pic neway. :-)

well, this week, i've got some items on my to do list, u know?   *sigh* there's lots of stuff to do to prep 4 the completion of our move to san jo.   i have furniture to sell off.   there's lots'f stuff to clean up! *sigh* crazy crazy.   there're things i can move down to san jo immediately. *shrug* yah, lots'f stuff to do this week.   i've gotta tell my old boss that i'm moving n' can no longer come in to do contract werk. *shrug*

did i mention how last wed, when we went down to san jo 4 me to talk to the sjsu mechanical engineering dept chairman n' to c baby mason, kaela n' i got to eat dinner w/ my mom @ yiasoo?   yah, i really like that greek fast fud joint. :-) *sigh* 1nce we move, i'm gonna go there more, i s'ppose.   however, i hope it doesn't become 2 much'f a habit, or else i'll get fat.   :-( nope, don't want that! :-)

[later] 320p: i dropped kaela off @ werk, went to target to buy some t.p. 4 my bunghole (as the kids used to say), went to the bank to deposit a check (walked thru petco to get to the bank n' looked @ the burdies), picked kaela up from werk, had lunch @ eat.a.pita w/ her, browsed @ cal paraphernalia stores, used the bathroom in sproul hall, dropped kaela off @ werk, n' then went home.   i've gotta go down to the apt management office to sign some papers 'bout leaving.   crazy, huh?

i saw on superdave's web journal that time magazine's website has this cover story on korean pop musik.   funny.   check it out: "paying to play? the korean pop music biz is asia's hottest.   a police investigation is now revealing that producers and artists may have been buying their way to the top."   crazy, huh?   there's all these fotos, n' i chuckle to myself thinking that time is biting into bronx's junkyard territory! ha ha ha. X-D

hey, i gotta go make some key copies 4 kaela 4 our san jo house! :-)   btw, guys (or gurls)! please sign the current version of my gbook!!! of course, i changed it recently! :-) it's always changing, u know?   yes, please sign it! :-)   oh u want me to reveal what my answers'd be?   well, shoot! i don't have that kind'f time right now, but i promise that i shall answer my own questions soon 'nuff, k?   deal? deal.   thanks.   nice doing bizness w/ u! :-)

beno waiting on the berkeley campus 4 the beautiful kaela kang.

112p: the beautiful kaela kang n' i just had lunch w/ her publik health classmate n' friend maria @ goldilock's pilipino restaurant in the richmond 99.   last nite, after taekwondo demo team practice, a few of us 168 in the 99.   (ha ha! number talk! :-D)   ugh, i'm so full.   i feel pretty flabby these days, it's awful.

right now, i really wanna thank my friend bernard huang 4 signing my gbook!!!   bernard, i dunno if i have ur current e.mail.   i gotta get ur current 411! :-)   thanks so much 4 signing my gbook!   btw, i'm not bernard huang!   there really is a bernard huang that went to hi skool u/ me, went to cal w/ me n' also did taekwondo @ ucmap.   :-) funny, huh?   he's a good guy!   [later] 157p: "welcome to san jose," he sez.   i like the sound of that! :-D   in a way, this time, instead of bernard following me, i'm following him!!! ha ha ha!

459p: we met w/ a fotographer in sf.   now we're @ the kabuki 8 amc theatre in j.town, 'bout to watch the 520p showing of goldmember.   when i 1st heard of this installment of the austin powers series, i got ready 4 a cheesy disappointment, but since its release, i have heard nuthin' but good things 'bout it.   *shrug* we'll c.   kaela went to the snack bar to get me a squishee.

120a: i dunno if ppl realise that the beautiful kaela kang n' i r flying out of the bay area on aug 8 to spend a few weeks in aug w/ her family down in socal!   we're both gonna spend our b.days down there.   crazy.   *sigh* yah, my b.day's coming up.   i'm gonna be 27.   my b.day is aug 21, n' kaela's is aug 14.   heh, i'm not saying u gotta get us stuff, but yah... that's when our b.days r.   i'm gonna be 27.   'member: if i make it past 27... i'll feel better.   'member? so many famous ppl died @ age 27.   then 'gain, i'm no celebrity or nething. *shrug*   i'm gonna make a trip down to san jo in kaela's kia n' drop off some junk. :-/ when we started this moving effort, i sed we shouldn't just pack things in shopping bags n' make lots'f trips like our last move but, instead, pack things in big boxes n' make 1 or 2 big moves w/ borrowed trucks. *sigh* well, it's not turning out quite like that.   was it just yesterday that kaela n' i went to the property management office n' submitted our 30 day notice?   i guess it was teknically 2 days 'go now, but yah... we did that on mon.   *sigh* crazy.   we still gotta pay 28 days worth of rent 4 aug.   altho' we haven't moved "the bunny" down to san jo yet, we've moved my big piyo .   kaela sed he's holding fort down there until bunny gets there.

so yesterday, we watched goldmember.   overall, i give it a thumb up.   i was a li'l confused by the plot, but maybe it was cos i had to go pee so bad.   man, all the pee jokes in the movie made it much worse 4 me!!!   well, i think the movie plot wasn't 100% great, but the amt of good jokes made up 4 that.   of course, it's just a silly movie.   well, i don't like to spoil movies 4 ppl... so i dunno how much i should comment.   after the movie, kaela n' i had dinner @ the restaurant on the bridge btwn 2 of the 3 bldgs of j.town.   u know that restaurant?   i've cn it all these yrs, but that was the 1st time i'd eaten there! :-)   we had curry.   after dinner, we took a neoprint.

[later] 258a: i really shouldn't be up.   it's decently warm these nites. *sigh* so much junk to sort thru in this apt. :-(   yah, we're trying to throw 'way as much as we can, but *sigh* there're some things we just gotta lug down to san jo.

joon talked 'bout this yahoo! palm reading thingy on his website.   his reading doesn't cm to fit him @ all.   here's mine:

134a: hey, happy b.day, steve! :-) it's my bro.in.law steve's b.day 2day.

well, 2day... what a day.   (note: 4 the rest of this journal entry, 2day = yesterday.)   1st thing, after waking up really late this morn, i rushed over to sproul hall to get a 2nd transcript to bring to san josé state universty 4 my grad skool application.   i told the folks @ sproul hall (uc berkeley's administrative office) to send 2 transcripts by overnite delivery to san josé state, but they got it wrong n' only sent 1.   2day, i had to bring the 2nd copy down myself.   a "rush" transcript co$ts $12; that's the overnite delivery kind.   to get a transcript into ur own hands (to bring to the destination urself), u gotta pay $15.   neway, the beautiful kaela kang reminded me that i'm very lucky to get such fast service @ sproul hall, that it's only cos'f the fact that it's summer right now that i can have such fast service.   i guess so.

i drove kaela's kia down to san jo w/ her.   we stopped in san leandro to get subway sandwiches.   when we got into san jo, i 1st went immediately to the sjsu administrative office to hand.deliver my transcript.   the guy sed that my application was now ready to be delivered to the evaluators.   ok.   cross ur fingers! :-)   after that, i went to an sjsu off.campus bookstore n' bought 1 textbook 4 my (hopefully) upcoming me230 class, which is "advanced mechanical engineering analysis."   the book was $115! :-(   i also purcha$ed a class skedule booklet.   yah, i know the contents of the booklet r available online, but well... there r some mistakes in the mechanical engineering section of the online version, so i'll trust the printed version, i guess. *shrug*   after sjsu, kaela n' i went home to drop off the stuff we were moving down.   then kaela rushed back up to berkeley in her kia to meet up w/ a coupl'f her bridesmaids (laura n' cynthia) n' then raymond to go dress shopping.   i stuck 'round a li'l in san jo to organise things.   my mom came home.   then i left to the bank to do some banking... cos that's what i do @ a bank.   then, i drove back up north in my subaru forester , but took 280 n' went thru sf.   c, i wanted to go the tux store to discuss this discount plan that i signed up 4 @ the bridal expo way back when.   (please refer to "bridal expo," from 04.21.2002.)   c, i had to pay $10 to sign up 4 that discount plan thingy.   i gotta check in w/ them to make sure i'm gonna get the discount.   man, there r so many ppl out there that, when they hear u'r gonna get married, just wanna rip u off left n' right!!!   that really frustrates me!   the wedding industry... well, 4 1 thing, it shouldn't even be "an industry"!!! grrr!   they're all just out to rip us off! grrr!!! >:-( grrr!!!   well, by the time i got to the tux shop, it was closed.   it closes @ 630p.   neway, it was pretty fun to drive thru sf.   it let me reminisce 'bout the days when i used to werk in sf, up in presidio heights. *sigh* ah... those were the days.   sure i had to fight killer, killer traffik home everyday... but *sigh* there was a feeling in the air that i can't be sure we'll ever feel 'gain: the teknoboom feel. *sigh*   man, my life back then, it was just wake up, fight traffik on the way to werk.com, be @ werk.com 4 a whole werkday, have lunch somewhere during that time, fight commute traffik back home, sleep 4 a couple of hrs, go to taekwondo practice, go to 168 or kkokko house 4 dinner, come home, write e.mails 4 a couple'f hrs or so, sleep, repeat the next day.   *sigh* yah, that was a diff life.   it had its stressors, but they were diff from the 1s i face these days.   really!   well, after i finished battling the commute traffik 2day, i arrived in berkeley n' met up w/ jerome in the driveway of his apt.   sam was there 2, but he had to go home 4 dinner.

i drove jerome over to dansuhngsa pojangmacha.   it was just us 2 guys.   we ordered the tongdalk + saengmaekjoo (i just wanted to use the icon.   i know it should be in a pitcher not a bottle!) + yachae special combo.   i think it's like $16.95 or sumpthin'. *shrug*   we ate dinner, had our beer, n' talked guy talk... eh! what's guy talk neway?! *shrug*   after we ate n' stuff, it was funny cos we saw chals walk past our booth.   he went to talk to his sister, whom i didn't notice was in the restaurant.   eventually, we got to talk to him a li'l.   after he left, i 'membered that i wanted to ask his sister 'bout her wedding fotography.   she told me she had it done in korea n' suggested that kaela n' i do it there cos it's so much cheaper n' better.   yah, i'd like to go to korea sometime b4 our wedding. :-/   well, jerome n' i eventually left dansuhngsa... sometime 'round 900p... maybe a li'l after... just a li'l.

we met up w/ kaela, laura, n' raymond @ coldstone ice creamery out in the newly rennovated el cerrito plaza.   there was a long line there, leading out to the parking lot.   crazy, huh?   it was cold out there.   raymond n' i went to barnes & nobles to use the bathroom.   also, kaela gave me a coupon 4 a free cappucino from their café, so i fetched it 4 her.   well, we all had our aisukuriimu @ coldstone.   u know 'bout that place?   they take not.so.fancy aisukuriimu; then they blend that aisukuriimu w/ toppings such as fruit, candy, or nuts.   well, can u call them "toppings"?   they're uh... more like uh... "mixers"? *shrug* well, we had our aisukuriimu.   then we dropped off raymond n' laura n' went off to nrb to do noraebang! *big smile* :-D yay! yay! yay! i finally got to do noraebang after all this time!!!   man, it was fun!   *sigh* u know, back when the p.crew used to noraebang @ music box, music box used laserdiscs that had more realistic musik on it, not the midi stuff they always use now @ noraebang places.   yah, back then, they used good musik even 4 the korean stuff.   i think @ chinese ktv (karaoke) places, they use real instrumental tracks w/ real musik videos, just w/ the wurds @ the bottom.   korean places use midi musik... prob'ly from "cd+g" cdroms. *shrug* i'm not 2 sure 'bout how it werks. *shrug* man, those days when the taekwondo p.crew used to go noraebang, they r so far 'way now. *sigh*   now that we're moving to san jo, who'll do noraebang w/ me??? *shrug*

[a li'l later] 239p: *sigh* the clock's ticking.   we've really gotta move our stuff out of berkeley! :-( [a li'l later] 254p: so i'm looking 4 this book: control system design: an introduction to state-space methods by bernard friedland, published by mcgraw-hill back in may of 1986.   @ textbookx.com, i can get it 4 $108.26.   man, 2day (as in yesterday), i quickly 'member how the textbook industry so mercilessly gouges students!   [later] 315a: i really like musik.

1259a: i've been trying to pack stuff up right now.   i know it's late @ nite, but the beautiful kaela kang n' i, our sleep patterns r so screwed up now.   *sigh* what we really should do is do more packing n' moving in the middle of the nite: 1) our sleep skedules now make it so we'd be werking great @ this time of nite, n' 2) there's less traffik right now than during the day.   however, i think we'd freak my mom out 2 much if we moved our stuff in @ 200a, etc. *sigh* :-(   man, all this moving is making me all sweatty even tho' it's a cool, brisk summer nite in berkeley.   2day, we went to a mtg w/ a great fotographer.   we decided to go w/ this fotography company as our wedding fotographers.   they do digital werk... n' it's very good!!!   after hangin' out in foster city w/ the fotographers 4 a while, we continued to san josé w/ all the junk we brought w/ us in my subaru forester   oh yah, 2 things: 1) b4 we left, we ate some instant noodles @ home. n' 2) i'll discuss details 'bout our wedding fotographers a li'l later, not yet.   ok, we got to san jo n' dropped off our stuff.   then, after watching the simpsons, while everybody loves raymond was on, we fell asleep on the family room couches.   we woke up, n' it was much later; like 830p. *shrug* then my mom came home n' left really quickly.   well, we drove back up to berkeley pretty quickly, but stopped in milpitas to eat tk noodles.   heh, i'm surprised kaela likes that place so much.   my dad told me to introduce it to her, n' i did.   she cms to like it more than i do. heh.   well, i actually went to hi skool w/ the owners' kids.   that restaurant chain has been around a long time, n' it's done very well.   after dinner, we drove right back up to berkeley.   we went to walgreen's to buy some more pledge grab.it cloths.   there's lots'f dust everywhere, u know? :-/

[a li'l later] 131a: oh yah; "th," thanks 4 signing my gbook!!!   thank u very much.   every1 else: u should sign my gbook!!! :-) ok, since no1 is answering the "if they made a movie 'bout u, who would portray u?" question, i'm changing it to: "if they made a movie 'bout u, who would u want to portray u?"   u ppl can answer that question, right???   well, here... i'll go 'head n' answer each of the questions myself! :-)

name: beno hwang

email: beno@benomix.com

homepage url: http://www.benomix.com

if they made a movie 'bout u, who would u want to portray u? ok, here's that tuff question, eh?   howzabout rick yune.   hey i didn't say they'd actually cast him! :-)

u use these instant messengers: none

if u had a dog, what wouldju feed it? a mix of wet/canned doggy fud n' some sort'f dry fud such as "atta boy"

do u think my webpage give enuf background info 'bout me? u blab 'lot in ur journal but don't give enuf background info on urself.

what would u do in san josé? get a msme degree

when will the economy get better? when bush is out of office

additional comments: u really need to change ur pic on the index page!   that pic's getting very old!

[later] 523p: whah?!?!   it't 523p already?!?!   we moved more junk down to san jo 2day, using just my car.   the beautiful kaela kang had a headache.   on our usual, daily trip down 880, we stopped @ union city's union landing strip mall n' ate lunch @ "roses: a chinese cafe."   it was very good.   4 $2.50, u get a huge boba drink!   now, kaela's totally passed out on the couch.   i moved lot's junk into the house n' cleaned up a bit.   i used some pledge grab.it cloths.   u know i like those.   *sigh* it's crazy that we gotta move down so hastily.   it's stressful but not impossible.   next thurs we fly down to socal, no?   we do.   what can i do in socal 4 2 weeks?   i hope to c friends, i s'ppose: i'd like to c joon, phil, supermike, peter... we'll c.   i kind'f wish we were driving down, but my car still has 1 spare tire. :-(   socal, socal; it's a diff world down there!   dang, cal rec club better have cancelled my membership now n' not charged me 4 august!   2morrow evening, kaela n' i r hosting a demo team potluck/bbq @ our place.   man, i really make good use of my handspring   i'm not writing very cohesively here.   nuts!

[later] 547p: i just found a 4gotten $5 in my coin wallet.   ah, doesn't that feel great?!   i really like musik.   i'm still being very uncohesive.

416a: uh, i really should not be still up! :-(   nuts!   well, 2day (meaning yesterday), we moved some more stuff down to san jo.   2day (meaning 2day), i'll pack up my 'puter n' move it down to san jo.   that's a big step, u know.   u c, i figure 1nce u've moved ur 'puter, u've really moved... in a sense.   like, when my company moved its engineering office from sf to corte madera, moving my office 'puter was a very big step, i gotta say. :-/ that's just how it goes. *shrug*   *sigh* well, i hope to pack up my 'puter 2day n' bring it down to san jo.   after that, while in berkeley, i'll hafta rely on my handspring n' the beautiful kaela kang's 'puter.   personally, i really think she should move her 'puter down to san jo really soon 2.   on sun, ken n' hopefully billy'll come up n' help us move big things down to san jo.   yah, my mom's really freaked 'bout the idea of my moving my dj equipment into our house. *sigh* that's just the way it goes.   i gotta have my dj equipment w/ me, hooked up to my stereo n' my 'puter! :-/   man, i'm up way 2 late. :-(   2day... 2nite'll, we'll be hosting a bbq/potluck @ our apt.   yup, "1 last shindig," i guess u could say. *shrug*

well, when u have the chance, please sign the current version of my gbook.   i can't 'member when our mail 4warding starts.   i think i requested the usps to start my mail 4warding as of 2day, but i 4get. :-(   i don't know how we'll dial.in to the internet from san jo. :-(   i'd like to just use call 4warding on my cellfon cellfon to dial into our usual dialup.   hopefully, soon i'll have a sjsu dial.up acct, but i dunno how that werks. :-(   will we need to buy dial.up access?   howzabout dsl? *shrug* man, if we gotta get a new isp, i'll hafta sort thru ads in microtimes, etc.   neway... no big deal.

*sigh* i can't believe i'm still not asleep.   so... :-/ what time am i driving down to san jo?!?!?!   2 much stuff; 2 much junk. :-(

last nite, roland came over n' hung out w/ us.   that was kewl.

305p: i wanna talk 'bout a coup'f things: 1) parlour musik n' 2) an invention.

940p, san josé cali4nia: can u believe the beautiful kaela kang convinced me to set up her 'puter b4 mine?   ah, the thing a teknonerdy guy does 4 the glory of love.   is there a boy scout badge 4 i.t. werk?   those r some real survival skillz.

[later] 1107p: so i was just playin' w/ the "dvd/vcd/mp3" player kaela n' i gave my mom 4 christmas.   isn't it so funny that we gave it as a present to my mom, but now we get to use it?   it's neat to use it as an mp3 player.   i tried to hack the region code, but i dunno if it werked. *shrug*

1217p: the beautiful kaela kang n' i actually spent the nite in our "new" home in san jo.   right now, i'm in our "old," berkeley place cleaning up n' picking up stuff we haven't moved yet.   my mom'd freak if she saw how much stuff we're still bringing down to san jo. :-( 2day's a very poorly planned day cos we're gonna meet w/ our wedding fotographers @ 300p.   that's a bad plan cos we ned more time to clean up this dang dump.   cos'f the location, we should go home to san jo after mtg w/ the fotographers.   what an awful skedule.   toby's s'pposed to buy the couch off of us, but when'll we be 'round 4 him to pick it up?!   it's a big mess cos we leave to socal on thurs nite.   when'll our apt inspektion be?!   what a mess!   it's literally a big mess here in our berkeley apt.

berkeley," it used to be a city to us, our city of residence.   now, it's just a skool, a grand university, our alma mater.   ugh, i never liked the stinkin', dirty city neway!   now, u know i'm just joking, right?   still, i am weary of panhandlers n' streetcrime.   the excitement of feeling like u could be mugged ne second, @ ne time of day eventually wore thin, right? *shrug*

[a li'l later] 1236p: on the way up to berkeley, we stopped in san leandro to get starbucks coffee.   yesterday, we stopped in union city to get starbucks coffee.   "dude... scary!!!" (as nelson'd say)   what's goin' on?!   movin' out of berkeley to the 'burbs n' pickin' up a starbucks habit?!   dang! i'm even wearing khaki pants as i write.

[later] 1001p: ugh, what a day!   well, kaela n' i were in berkeley all day.   we had lunch w/ jerome n' raymond @ taqueria cancun.   kaela n' i were really full after that.   then kaela n' i packed up more stuff n' went to visit our wedding fotographers.   i sed i'd tell u more 'bout them.   slowly, i will.   neway, we were talkin' to the husband n' mentioned that we do taekwondo.   he told us he did 2, but he now does kooksooldo in san jo.   wow! funny, huh?   so this evening, we went to go watch a class @ his skool.   the funny thing is that nelson was telling me 'bout this skool 2 nites 'go. funny!   it's a nice skool, but kooksooldo is not the same thing as taekwondo.   it is more similar to hapkido.

630p: 2day, i gave away my old, twin bed over craig's list (the internet classifieds).   b4 the beautiful kaela kang n' i even got to berkeley toby n' raymond got our couch out of our apt n' into toby's truck.   crazy.   kaela n' i r so happy we sold our sofabed to a good home. :-)

1226p, in socal: i'm @ the beautiful kaela kang's family's house in socal.   on thurs (2day's sat.), we packed n' cleaned.   we took raymond to lunch on wed, eh?   wed was the 7th.   thurs was the 8th.

on tues the 6th, kaela n' i went to lunch w/ her cowerkers.   then we cleaned n' packed, etc.   uh, 1 day this week, prob'ly tues, i went to donate stuff @ the albany salvation army, only to find it's gone!   the old albany salvation army on solano ave is gone!   maybe they couldn't afford the rent? *shrug* i had to donate the stuff to the berkeley goodwill on university ave instead.   it's hard to find parking there.   then, after giving away my bed on tues (please c "no beds" on 2002.08.06.), i went to office depot on gilman to buy a 6 pack of "bankers boxes."   after packing some, i picked up kaela from werk, n' we ate dinner @ café de la paz.   the service was awfully slow, but the waitress sed it was her 1st day.   then we returned to our apt n' packed more to go home to san jo.

on wed the 7th, we took raymond to 168 4 lunch to thank him 4 helping toby get the sofabed into toby's truck.   then raymond helped me bring the kitchen table set to cyrus's n' pam's place.   i think i 4got my adjustable wrench @ their place.   then raymond let me use his 'puter to do some change of address biz.   then i picked kaela up to pack more.   then she took me out 4 an early b.day dinner @ chez panisse café.   what a nice dinner!

kaela put her mortarboard on my head n' took this pic.

on thurs the 8th, i drove to my corte madera werk.com to clean out my office n' 'puter.   that felt a li'l weird, but i'm not leaving on bad terms.   they know i'm going to grad skool.   kaela went to 0.5 moon bay to look @ wedding flowers.   we met up @ the berkeley apt to pack n' clean, mostly clean.   both of us, on our own got subway sandwiches 4 lunch.   i finally had a sweet onion teriyaki chicken subway sandwich!   i realised that last week i had awful eating behaviour: 1) cos'f stress, i had li'l or no appetite.   however, 2) i'd eat just cos other ppl were eating n' it was "time to eat." 3) cos'f nervousness n' anxiety, i'd overeat, even tho' 4) i wasn't getting ne exercise.   5) cos'f stress, i'd get awful acid indigestion stomachaches.   6) still, when i did actually get hungry, i'd get very irritable / grouchy.   in d.c., i noticed that i'd get grouchy when i got hungry.   what's wrong w/ me?!   2day (sat), i ate a whoppin' 4 bowls of cereal 4 breakfast!   crazy!   'twas like an advertisenent 4 total brand cereal!

thurs evening, kaela n' i battled southbound evening commute traffik to san jo on 880.   'twas such a battle!   after eating dinner w/ my mom @ home, we hastily packed 4 socal.   then my mom drove us in the warm san jo summer air to the airport 4 our flight.   san jo's newer terminal a has some nicer eating joints.   man, sjo airport's terminal a beats the pants off of oakland's oak airport's southwest terminal!   kaela's parents picked us up from the ontario airport.

on fri the 9th, we went to the la brea tar pit n' page natural history museum.

2day's sat.   as all i've done here in socal, since the museum, is eat, sleep, n' watch tv in english n' korean; i'm all caught up w/ updating my journal!   well, basically, kaela n' i r spending time w/ her family here.   some friends have tried to call me, but i have yet to call 'em back cos we're, u know, having lots'f conversations w/ kaela's family members.   i need my friends to leave more detailed voicemail msgs.

905p: 2day, i finally went swimming here @ the beautiful kaela kang's family's house.   yesterday n' 2day we watched dvds on jeanna's 'puter.   yesterday, we watched lord of the rings: fellowship of the rings.   lasa nite n' 2day, we watched episodes of buffy the vampire slayer on dvd; season 1.   last nite, on tv, we watched a korean drama show,nae sarang noogoolggayo, who should be my love.   it was very interesting.   the nite b4, we watched some drama w/ ryu shiwon.

107a: i've watched lots'f buffy the vampire slayer recently.   on an unrelated note, i was just 'membering how i ate so many bagels as an engineering undergrad n' young engineer; so many!   so many noah's bagels.   *sigh* 'member the whole supermike noah's bagel stock incident? 'member?   ha ha! funny, huh?   *sigh* i guess [it's] not as funny as [it was] during the teknoboom.   now in the postteknobust, i just think: "dude, i could've used that $$$ to buy sumpthin' useful." :-/ bagels, bagels, bagels.   have u cn the krispy kreme / in.n.out combo off of (the) 280 in south sf?   ha! crazy, huh?   'member the donutburger?! ha ha.

914a: good morning.   my back's a li'l sore. :-( the bed we sleep on here @ the beautiful kaela kang's parents' place is very firm.   isn't it that, traditionally, asians have preferred firmer mattresses or else the floor?   i guess, if i'm striving to be the so.called "fobulous" asian, i've gotta learn to sleep on such firm mattresses.   2day's mon, eh?

man, of course the tap h2o in socal's not as good as in the bay area, 'specially in the good ol' east bay municipal water district.   u ppl in norcal, never take ur tap water quality 4granted!!!

[later] 132p: fever? flu?   i feel so sick right now! :-(   [later] 345p: i slept n' feel better now.   [later] 421p: what a day!   i was sick in the morn.   i slept thru the early afternoon.   b4 that, kaela n' i watched an episode of a korean drama called propose, 'cept it was dubbed into mandarin.   we could tell it was a decently old miniseries.

428p: oh yah! i hafta thank all the kewl ppl who have signed my g.book lately: jerome, young, n' carol.   please, be kewl n' sign the g.book! :-)

last nite, i was looking @ a taekwondo skool's website n' thinking just how sports.oriented it was.   then i realised, @ times ppl commented to me that berkeley's taekwondo is so sports.oriented.   looking back thru.out the yrs, i now hafta agree to some extent.   now, that i'm 4ced to find a new taekwondo skool, i'm realising that skools that rn't sports.related can be all cheesy, ninja, "touch.of.death" kind of skools, u know?   i don't want to go to a skool like that.   i want a skool that is very reminiscent of berkeley taekwondo program, 'specially in its dignity.   however, i'm not as much of a competitive sparrer nemore, i know.   still, i don't mind putting on hogu now n' then; not 1 bit.   of course, i'd love to continue practicing "demo techniques" n' traditional poomsae.   ideally, i'd like to be able to come back to berkeley to test 4 my 3dan under dr. min.   i'd like a skool w/ much emphasis on authentic korean culture n' traditions, not americanised taekwondo culture. :-/ *sigh* i know i'll probably never find a taekwondo skool i like as much as ucmap's taekwondo club.   :-( eh! i gotta cheer up n' look 'round... when i get back to the bay area.

man, i really haven't had bagels in a long time.   [later] 751p: i swam n' now have showered.   swimming is my exercise here.   i haven't stepped out of the front door since fri morn.

832a: my stomach felt really yucky last nite.   just b4 going to sleep, i took 4 tums.   i think i bought thoss tums in cancun last summer. *shrug*

i woke up this morn to a dream: i think i 4got the earlier parts of the dream, but i 'member walking home in the dark nite in berkeley.   i was wearing headfons n' listening to some "loud" rock song.   i was really getting into the musik.   i dunno what song or musician it was. *shrug* neway, i realised that it was dangerous to walk home in the dark w/ headfons on.   i started thinking if i bang my head to the musik n' act "weird," maybe no1'll want to mug me.   i think i did that 4 a while.   eventually, i stopped banging my head to the musik n' instead took the left earbud out to have 1 unimpaired ear. :-/ i saw a suspicious looking old homeless man digging thru trash across the street w/ a boy.   i felt he was potential 4 trouble n' hurried home.   when i got home, outside our apt bldg, i wanted to check the mail.   the mailboxes for the all the apt units were placed on a stucco wall in such a way that some residents had to climb the wall to reach their mailboxes,   to climb the wall, 1 could step on the mailboxes below which stuck out from the wall a li'l.   still, it was no easy task, a bit like indoor rock climbing, i suppose.   while i was up on the wall, a gurl walked out of the apt bldg past me.   then i realised that my mailbox wasn't on that wall but upstairs closer to our apt unit.   i walked up some tall stairs to our apt unit.   now, it was daytime, cloudy; and the beautiful kaela kang was w/ me.   our apt was pretty much our berkeley apt, but it was higher up in the sky, it cmed.   it had a nice view from the front door, a view of a fog covered forest.   when we got up the somewhat steep stairs to our apt unit, i noticed some delivered packages @ our doorstep.   then i realised we had a big, clear, plastic bag full of items we were donating to some salvation army / goodwill kind'f place.   i noticed 1 of my favourite pair of blue jeans in there.   i also noticed a pair'f kaela's jeans that i like her wearing. :-/ after we opened the door, i removed my jeans from the donation bag.   i also removed kaela's jeans, but they turned out not to be jeans but a similarly styled, long denim skirt. *shrug* then, i think, i woke up.   what does this dream mean?

last nite, i told kaela that i'm so sick of watching tv.   i am.   i never liked tv that much, the "idiot box."   ugh, american prime.time tv culture, ick!   i'm so sick of it!   most "reality" tv shows, i don't like 'em. :-( i don't like tv.   sure, i really like the simpsons.   i like the star trek shows ok.   as i've sed, there're way 2 many lawyer n'doctor shows out there; n' the star trek shows come the closest to being shows w/ engineers. *shrug* sure, macgyver, i guess he was a bit of an engineer, sort'f.   oh! 2 many cop shows! ugh! lawyer, doctor, n' cop shows, ugh!   'least there rn't so many war/army shows nemore.   'member when we had tour of duty and china beach?   both told stories of the vietnam war; but it was like tour of duty told them from the guys' perspective, n' china beach told them from the women's perspective.   well, actually, when those shows were on, i kind'f like both'f 'em.   i prob'ly liked china beach better cos, dang, the concept has much more originality, u know?   however, i liked how tour of duty used the rolling stones' "paint it black" as its opening theme song.   @ the time, i really liked the song.   later, u2 did a cover'f it, i think.   wait! didn't echo n' the bunnymen cover it 1st?   i think so.   i liked those cover versions.

last nite, after getting fed up w/ tv, i took out kaela's dad's thomas guide map book of the state of cali4nia n' studied the maps.   i realised: man, there r so many "boonies" areas to cali4nia!   i don't think i'd wanna live or even hang out much in those areas.   hrm, somehow cali4nia cmed like state w/ so much metropolitan land to me.   i sometimes 4get how much'f cali is still just wild, wild west.

'gain, esteemed readers: please don't neglect to sign the (current) g.book!   it'd be much appreciated.

the time is 923a.   i use my handspring so much.   a while 'go, i somehow busted the backlite.   now it cms that the li+ rechargable battery's so worn out that it might not be fully recharging.   like, i can charge my visor all nite but find that the battery meter's not all the way filled. *shrug* maybe it's just a glitch.   after all, it doesn't necessarily happen 100% of the time.   i sort'f wish i had some kind'f extended warranty on this thing.   actually, fixing the backlite might be sumpthin' i could do myself, hopefully w/ ken's help.   he's fixed many lcd screens 4 pagers, u know? so he has more exerience w/ these kinds'f things.

:-( dang, i wish san josé state'd send my some sort'f response.   well, of course i don't mean "some sort" but "positive."   i haven't heard nething from them, but i made the stoopid mistake of putting down my berkeley address as my mailing address on my apd.   of course, i am having mail 4warded to san jo. :-/ i can't believe we're gonna be living in san jo!   in a way, i wish we were there right now, getting used to our new environment.   oh well, we'll get plenty of san jo, right?   when we get back n' settled, i gotta take my car in 4 service.

[later] 932p: we went to irvine n' hung out w/ phil n' his friend.

happy b.day to the beautiful kaela kang!!! »ýÀÏ ÃàÇÏÇØ! ³Î »ç¶ûÇØ!!!

[later] 136p, on sunset (blvd) in l.a. @ an italian restaurant: i took kaela to a b.day lunch.   my mom called me earlier to tell me i've been accepted 4 grad skool! :-) woohoo!

[later] 927p: man! so driving's kaela's parents' new acura uh... 3.3tl? :-/ i 4get the name of the car; but driving it is so kewl! :-) it's an autostick w/ plenty of power! :-)

141a: ok, this feels awkward.   this is the 1st journal entry in a very long time that i'm actually not writing on my handspring weird!   i'm actually typing from the beautiful kaela kang's sister jeanna's 'puter, telnetting into my unix server. *shrug* i used to write journal entries all the time like this, but i haven't done it this way in a very long time.   i'm not even writing it 1st on ms windows notepad n' cutting n' pasting.   i'm gonna use the pico unix text editor's insert file function later to paste the text i'm typing right now into my "recent" n' "archive" files. *shrug* *sigh* i'm letting u guys in on the secretive daily operating procedures behind the beno journal!!! ha ha ha!

yesterday, i neglected to tell u that kaela n' i went to the l.a. "moca" (museum of contemporary art) to view the andy warhol exhibit there!   it was really kewl.   i, uh, snuck in my targus handcam handspring camera n' took some pics of the exhibit. :-) shhhh!!! don't tell ppl, k? thanks.   i appreciate it!   neway, yup, we did that.   it was kaela's b.day, n' she wanted to go c the art museum, so i took her there.

so yesterday was kaela's 26th b.day.   it was also the day that i found out that i got accepted to san josé state university's masters program in mechanical engineering. :-) last nite (as in just a few hrs 'go), i was thinkin' 'bout getting some skool supplies.   by "skool supplies," i mean those of the teknonerd variety: the 2 items i thought 'bout getting to help me thru grad skool r the: seiko smartpad ii n' the targus stowaway portable keyboard , (like the 1 describe on that particular buy.com, 'cept built 4 the handspring visor edge not the other visors).   ok, those r totla nerd gadgets... total teknoyuppie junk, so how could they benefit me as a student?!   well, shoot!   i don't wanna just take notes on paper do i?!   i wanna have my notes in both paper n' digital form! :-) ok, ok, ok! u roll ur eyes. *sigh* oh well.   u c, i just found out a few mins 'go, that the smartpad ii uses the handheld 'puter's ir (infrared) port to transmit data from ur handwriting (u write on a notepad with some pressure senstive, digital backing.) to the handheld!   b4, i was worried 'bout how the uh... wiring... connectivity... (that stuff!) 'd all werk.   u know what i'm talkin' 'bout?! :-/ *sigh* maybe i lost u. :-(   neway, i shouldn't spend so much time looking on ebay 4 more teknocrap.   :-(

u think all i ever do w/ this journal is write 'bout nerdy teknogadgets n' bag on 'merican tv?!   lemme tell u, back when i wrote "idiot box" on 2002.08.13, i got sidetracked n' neglected to mention the other tv shows i can tolerate:   sure. . . [later] ~950a: upes, i got interrupted.

949a: ok, i was discussing tv shows i like... as i often do in order to balance out how much i bag on american tv.   of course, i like the simpsons.   i mention from time to time that i enjoy the star trek shows.   when it was on, i often enjoyed the x.files.   similarly, i often enjoy buffy.   even tho' it often uses cliché stereotypes of oversexed males, nerdy nerds, jocky jocks, etc.; it's ultrakewl cos it combines my longtime, geeky fascination w/ fantasy d& d (dungeons & dragons) monsters n' magic w/ martial arts n' uh... i guess, hip fashion n' some somewhat pleasant looking actresses.   what a funny combo.   somehow it's gotten the show this far w/ the american viewing publik.   *shrug*   yah, @ times, i've enjoyed watching blind date, but most reality shows irk me.   i don't consider blind date so much a reality show cos no1 gets voted off.   it's more like a gameshow... w/o a real game.   hey, wasn't that mtv show the "original" reality show.   uh, what is/was it called?!   (i wanna say "reality bites," but i know that wasn't it.)   it took like 5-10 young ppl in 1 area n' put them in 1 house.   neway, that show had no "voting off."   hrm, i guess then some ppl might say survivor's the original reality tv show!   ugh, i really was not into that!!! X-( 'member when the movies ed tv n' the truman show came out?   i often wonder: what if they had a reality tv show that followed ucmap taekwondo black belt candidates the semester of their test.   honestly, it could be a very interesting show.   however, we can't have the audience nor the participants vote to influence the results; no "voting off," no american idol fon votes!   uhm, i didn't steal this idea from roland, did i?   i can imagine talking to roland 'bout an idea like this.

toby's gonna visit us 2day on his way back up to berkeley.

[later] 1147a: i am connected to the internet on my handspring n' on kaela's dad's office 'puter.   on my handspring, i'm "uploading" some text i wrote b4 this 4 this journal entry.   on kaela's dad's 'puter, i'm writing tht text that u r currently reading. *sigh* why am i such a hopeless teknogeek! ah! toby just pulled up! he's here!

lemme mention 1 thing cos i'm such a tekno geek: i found out that i shouldn't get the smartpad, but instead seiko inklink handwriting system .

[later] 1138p: 'gain, i'm typing on jeanna's 'puter instead of writing on my handspring. weird.   well, heh, i guess i should shut up 'bout all the teknogeek gadgets. :-( i really do think i should get the inklink tho'.   i think i shall. *shrug* well, toby came to visit us.   we went out to lunch (toby, jeanna, kaela, n' i) @ the rowland heights 168.   crazy, huh?   a diff 168!   funny!   then we hung out @ the life plaza store; the store that sells cute fuzzies, books, musik, housewares, n' electronics.   it also has a boba café n' restaurant.   it's a very kewl asian hangout.   there, kaela insisted on buying me some asian style skool supplies 4 my upcoming return to skool.   well, korean pens r really good, so she bought me a korean pen.   she also got me an eraser n' a pencil box. :-)   after that, after kaela n' i got some strawberry juice boba drinks , after we dropped jeanna off @ home; toby, kaela, n' i went to ontario mills shopping mall to walk 'round n' stuff.   then we came back home to eat dinner b4 toby took off 4 home.

i got an interesting e.mail 2day from a stranger:
subject: ciao!!! (so you understand)
date: thu, 15 aug 2002 21:54:10 +0200

you are half asian and half american but like music like an european ^__^
hrm, interesting.   i do?   sure, i do like some european musik, but i wonder what led up to that comment. *shrug*   well, neway, i always like to hear from u ppl. :-) please, when u can, sign my gbook! :-) thanks.

1215p: how r u 2day?   i'm ok.   i'm s'pposed to c my mom n' some relatives from her side 2day.   [later] 1245p: ah, i just took a refreshing shower. :-) the beautiful kaela kang n' i have now spent just over a week in socal.   how's socal life?   *shrug* eh! it's hard to say nething meaningful on that topik cos we rn't living a normal life down here.   we rn't werking down here, nor r we going to skool down here. :-/ we spend more time @ home during weekdays than normal socal ppl would.   neway, this is hardly my 1st socal experience.   i've made many trips down from norcal to socal.   this is the longest time i spent in socal @ 1nce, i think, as i'll be here 4 15 days straight, but it's really no big deal. *shrug*

1141a: it's aug 17, sat.   the beautiful kaela kang's parents sed sumpthin' 'bout celebrating both our b.days 2days cos it's right btwn our 2 b.days.   man, i'm gonna be 27!   i haven't gotten used to saying i'm 26.   in the past yr, i've often confused myself into thinking i'm 25.   as i'm going back to skool on aug 26, this is the 1st time in a long time when the end of summer break'll actually affect me.   i've been on summer break since may 1998, a 4 yr long summer break!   "yah, i had a summer job." ha ha.

hopefully, i'll soon finally do some rennovation to my homepage/website.   i gotta update it a bit, the stuff other than this journal.   the index page: altho' many visitors've complimented me 'bout the nutritional facts table, maybe it's gettin' old.   after all, the uc berkeley skool'f publik health totally ripped off my idea from me n' made this skool'f publik health t.shirt.   kaela has the shirt.   *sigh*   kaela's dad told/advised me to gear my homepage 2wards my benomix dj biz.   yah, i should. *nod*   i should 'least have the index page properly represent benomix, but i could still have my personal pages 4 my "personal" stuff.   *shrug*   now that i don't werk 4 resolution sciences, i guess i could take down their banner.   4 so long, i was there top referrer.   i could put up a san josé state university banner instead, eh?   hrm, i'll tell u: as much as i'm sooo glad that i'm going to grad skool @ a university as nice as sjsu, i'll always be glad i can say i graduated from cal, u know?

back to skool: finally, it affects me 'gain.   even when i was out of skool n' in the werkin' world, i gotten this certain feeling during back to skool time; a feeling of excitement n' anxiety, eagerness n' nervousness.   when i was a student, what did "back to skool" mean to me?   it meant cing ol' friends 'gain, going to new classes w/ new teachers w/ some new students.   [a li'l later, after eating some kalgoosoo,105p]   fall brings change.

yesterday, i drove the acura 3.2 tl (a few days 'go i mistakenly called it a 3.3 tl.) to my relatives' house.   yahoo! directions gave me some messed up directions.   my mom was w/ my relatives, n' we all weat to a chinese restaurant in rowland heights.   it was pretty good.   then the kids (or the younger generation) went to diamond/life plaza to look @ musik, dvds, books, n' cute fuzzies.   after that, we went to ontario mills.   does this all sound familiar?   ha ha, 'member?   toby, kaela, n' i had a pretty much identical itinerary the day b4.   funny. X-D i was w/ my cousin ming (who's older than me by some yrs... i 4get how many.), his wife vivian, n' our cousin from taiwan sansan.   back in (uh)1999, jerome n' i took her to uc santa cruz 4 some summer english learning program.   my aunt told me i hafta take my cousin out sightcing etc. sometime these next few days.   she's gonna start grad skool @ penn state this fall, studying "hospital administration."   that's sort'f like publik health, right?   n' cousin ming has a masters of publik health in biostatistick.   man! so many publik health ppl 'round me!

in the evening, kaela's family took me to a korean restaurant 4 naengmyuhn.   the restaurant's called oh jang dong n' is in rowland heights.   we each had combo naengmyuhn: 0.5 bibimnaengmyuhn, 0.5 moolnaengmyuhn.   we also had soms bindaedduhk n' some mandoo.   afterwards, we went to life plaza 4 some boba drinks. it was so crowded w/ young ppl on a summer fri nite!

oh yah, i wanna thank linsay 4 signing my g.book.   if u haven't signed my most recent g.book, please do. :-)

103p: what a lazy sun(day).   it's overcast thru.out much of socal 2day.   man, it's so cloudy, very reminiscent of berkeley / sf.   i can't believe it's socal.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i ate korean pastries 4 a late breakfast this morn.   we've bummed 'round the house up till now.   i wonder if we'll c joon.   did i mention we were in garden grove yesterday evening?   i think i did; but now that i actually think 'bout it, i realise i didn't.   well, kaela's family took us to bookkyuhng restaurant last nite.   bookkyuhng's a korean style chinese restaurant. .  the wurd "bookkyuhng" is "beijing" in korean, in case u didn't know.   [later, 723p, after an ontario mills trip] after dinner, we walked 'round arirang market.   i checked out their cd store.

yah, so 2day, we went to ontario mills 'gain.   4 her b.day present, i bought kaela a new pair'f maui jim sunglasses to replace the pair she lost while werkin' @ the wutc.   we had lunch @ quizno's subs.   @ the mall, i looked @ digital sport watches.   i saw a timex helix i like w/ a digital compass, altimeter, n' barometer.   crazy.   [later] 756p: yah, i do realis9 that all my teknogeek gadget talk's very materialistik, very material, very wordly.   i know.   i suck. *sigh*

1016a: i feel like i can't totally, easily open my eyes yet this morn, yet i've slept 'nuff that i'm no longer tired.   my stomach's a li'l yucky, maybe acidic.   how r u?   the beautiful kaela kang's kewl cos she signed my gbook.   how 'boutch'u?   thank u, kaela.

well, 2day we're s'pposed to go to some outlet malls w/ my cousins.   all this shopping!   believe it or not, i haven't yet bought nething 4 myself.   i'm not in the mood to spend on clothes.   sure, i've been talking 'lots 'bout buying all these teknogeek produkts, but i haven't actually bought ne yet.   i am concerned 'bout my budget, yes.   i know i'm spending 'lots on the wedding, yah.   last nite (or actually "early this morn," that is, late last nite), i bought soms textbooks on.line from textbookx.com.   i dropped lots'f dough there, but i used my own link.   u guys know?   i have that "links" page, which has lots'f links to on.line stores which toss me a few pennies when ppl buy stuff using my links.   please, if u ever get the chance, use 'em.   i know i wanna buy some musik cds from yesasia; but, no, i haven't yet.   i'm just not in a spending mood, nope.

[a li'l later, after watching elmo's world] 1059a: hrm, now that we can use my mom's dvd player, maybe i should check out netflix. *shrug* [later] 1126a: i need to sign up 4 classes.

[later] 542p: so now we're outlet shopping w/ my cousins.   man!   these r some nice outlets!!!   this is fashion heaven, eh? desert hills premium outlets in cabazon, ca.

[later] 1036p: my uncle bought bunch'f el pollo loco 4 us kids to eat.   man, i was stuffed after that.   also, b4 the mall, my cousin ming took us out to china super buffet in chino.   lots'f fud 2day, u know?

oh, elaine n' steve: thank u very much 4 signing my g.book.   thanks.   u guys r kewl!

31st monthversary

1051a: right now, i'm typing on the beautiful kaela kang's dad's 'puter.   typing.   i don't do that as much these days but do more graffiti.   actually, i found out this morn, that i won an ebay auction on a targus stowaway visor edge keyboard.   that means, i can do less graffiti n' type more. *shrug* it was a very cheap deal.

well, 2day is our 31st monthversary! :-) wow, 31 months!   i know i'm really happy! :-)   i wouldn't want to be w/ ne1 else.   i have a wonderful fiancée!   so we're planning on checking out disney's cali4nia adventures as our monthversary thing.to.do, u know?   it's a li'l overcast in socal 2day; that'll keep us cool

this morn, i called san josé state university 'bout getting my class enrollment pin (personal identification number), but they will only give it to me in person. *sigh* i'll hafta go there early next mon morn.   i'm pretty sure i know which classes i wanna take.   after all, i did buy textbooks 4 these classes!

note to self: if i wanna buy some musik from yesasia, i should use code "coukornews" to get $5 off.

shoot! 2morrow's my b.day. :-o upes.   crazy, huh?   well, 2day's david yee's b.day.   happy b.day, dave... but i don't think he'll read this.   oh well. *shrug*

man, bronx's junkyard is down right now cos "icecream" doesn't have a server right now.   hrm, this reminds me... i'm very nervous 'bout net access @ our new san jo home.   man... i can very well imagine that we'll need dsl service. :-/ i really think so.   i know my mom'll need to use her fonline 'lot, so how can we keep using dialup?   n' the fonlines in the rooms we have our 'puters don't even werk. :-( ken agreed to help me fix them, but well... in the end, maybe it's best just to get dsl. *shrug*

2002.08.21

27

919a: wow, i'm 27 yrs old 2day.   i guess it's my b.day.   when i loaded up my "my yahoo!" page; it sed, "happy birthday benoburdy!"   then i clicked on those wurds n' got to their special b.day page, where it gave me my horoscope n' told me 'bout celebrities that share my b.day n' historic events that took place on my b.day.   i share the exact same burthdate as some actress named alicia witt.   er, honestly, i don't know who she is; but apparently she had a decent role in vanilla sky along w/ lots'f other movies.   maybe u know her? *shrug* also, carrie.anne moss of the matrix n' chocolat shares my b.day, n' joe strummer of the british rock group the clash n' kenny rogers.   i've known since i was a kid that hawaii became a state on my b.day.

my horoscope on that y! page sed:

When it comes to taking action today, dear Leo, you may want to consider doing something with a partner. Having another person on board will help you keep things in balance in many ways. Other people's perspectives on the current situation will help you make sure that all your bases are covered. Don't forget the little guy in your quest for the big position. A true leader is one who walks behind her people.

i was never big on horoscopes. :-/ uhm, that's not totally true...   when i was a li'l kid, in elementary skool, i'd like reading my li'l horoscope near the daily comics section of the san josé mercury news.   then, i guess, when i went to church, some ppl insisted it was satanically wrong (while others sed it was just silly fun), so i guess i stopped reading them. *shrug*

last nite, i was up late, logged into the internet on my handspring , searching 4 free b.day stuff.   rn't there places that'll give u free stuff on ur b.day?!   on the net, i can't find a page that tells u 'bout these freebies.   instead, i get all those cheesy "free stuff" pages that r filled w/ ads n' bad webpage design. >:-( also, the websearch turned up lots'f "free birthday card" sites.   i guess i found 1 site that's ok.   however, most burthday specials r either just 4 kids or need u to register in advance. *shrug* i guess lots'f ppl think b.days r more 4 kids.   is it that adults should just sulk on their b.day 'bout how their just gettin' older? *shrug*

*sigh* yah, i am getting older. <:-( well, when u get older, u'r s'pposed to get more respekt! :-/ i'm 27.   my stoopid index page still sez i'm 25. :-( *sigh* so what to do 2day?   it's now 1006a.   well, the beautiful kaela kang n' i discussed going to l.a. 2day.   neither of us have really cn the ucla campus.   like, we've both sort'f cn it, but neither of us has really cn it.   other than that, *shrug*

yesterday, kaela n' i did go to disney's cali4nia adventure, after eating lunch @ schlotzsky's deli in placentia.   i had never been to a schlotzsky's b4, even tho' there had been 1 on telly (telegraph ave.) in berkeley 4 a while.   back when that schlotzsky's was on telly, ed park told vince n' me that his family used to own a schlotzsky's.   i didn't believe him, n' he didn't provide much proof to back up his claim.   i couldn't tell if he was joking or serious.   to this day, i'm unsure.   neway, kaela had gone to that particular schlotzsky's b4 cos she used to live in placentia.   she 'least went to that schlotzsky's 1nce w/ her dad.   (if u go to the schlotzsky's deli website, u can print out coupons.)   how was disney's cali4nia adventure?   yah, i guess it's more of a mature disneyland, not so much a kids' disneyland.   i love how it displays cultures n' regions from all 'round cali4nia.   i dunno 'xactly how the cali4nia state fair is, but this is how it should be.   there r some fun rides, altho' they rn't nearly as thrilling as rides @ great america.   i think, maybe the best ride is "soaring over california."   it's not so much a "thrill" ride, but it is very beautiful!   as i sed, it's a more "mature" disneyland.   after the park closed n' kicked us out, we went to downtown disney (the disney resort mall) n' ate @ a tapas restaurant.   kaela treated me to dinner 4 our monthversary. :-)   we were sooo stuffed!   we wished we didn't eat so much, so late in the nite; but we 4got that portions down here in socal r bigger than up in norcal.   'least, that cms to be the case. *shrug*   :-( man, we need some exercise.

1048a: i just read that, in san jo, the not.yet.finished santana row mall n' housing development suffered a major fire! :-o that's horrible.   the place hadn't yet opened 4 bizness n' has already faced a disaster. :-(   it's not that i'm that upset that a mall burnt down or nething; it's just that i hate to hear that a place that's s'pposed to stimulate the trampled silly valley economy got trashed like that. :-(   well, i really hope, as the city sez it's gonna rebuild the development, that it'll do well.

jeanna: thanks 4 signing my gbook!

2002.08.23

supermarket tour

109a: huh?! i didn't update yesterday?!   man, u guys must be glad since i just never stop talkin' 'bout myself!   :-/ well, if ne of u really r annoyed w/ how much i talk 'bout myself here, then u really shouldn't be reading this!   am i not right?   what else can u expect here?   a bunch'f egocentric talk, blabbering 'bout unnecessary teknogeekgadgets, criticism of 'merican pop culture n' media, reviews of restaurants, discussion of korean pop musik... *shrug* what else?

well, how did i spend my b.day this past wed, august 21, 2002?   the beautiful kaela kang n' i drove out to l.a.   we quickly visited ucla.   kaela bought me lunch @ a chinese restaurant, scallions dimsum café in westwood.   we drove 'round bel air.   we stopped @ a ralph's grocery store near beverly hills to use the restroom.   we drove by santa monica's beach.   then we drove up rodeo drive.   then we drove 'round koreatown.   we stopped @ the original hannam chain korean supermarket to use the restroom.   there, i bought a few groceries to cook dduhkbokki.   then we drove back 2wards home.   in hacienda heights, we stopped @ hangook market to use the restroom.   then we browsed in a korean cd store.   while we were there, berkeley taekwondo demo team members called me up to wish me happy b.day. :-)   that was nice of them.   then kaela n' i had dinner @ abuhm soondae in diamond bar.   during dinner, ken n' nelson called.   i found out i share my b.day w/ ken's employee amanda.

yesterday, kaela n' i slept in very late.   u c, btwn tues n' wed, i got very li'l sleep.   thurs, i made up 4 it.   in the afternoon, i cooked dduhkbokki.   then kaela n' i went to explore the chino spectrum shopping area.   after kaela bought a coupl'f bridal magazines @ borders, i got my hair cut next store @ this new place called mega cuts.   the whole area's new.   then we explored nordstrom's rack.   i saw lots'f good deals there that i pretty muce passed up.   then we went to chick's sporting goods, costco gas, n' sports chalet.   we were lookin' 4 a new swimsuit 4 kaela but didn't find nething.   i saw some x.trainer shoes but didn't buy ne of 'em.

last nite, kaela's parents took us to dinner @ green garden korean bbq in diamond bar to eat dduhkbossam.   stuffed!   so much meat! chadolbeigi, roast gui, samgyuhbsal, yang gui... so much meat!   yah, dduhkbossam's pretty good.   in case u don't know, that's when u eat fud wrapped up in thin, li'l sheets of rice cake.   man! so full!   when we got home, we saw the final episode of the korean drama romance.

2nite, i leave 4 san jo.   then what? *shrug* i'll spend 1 week w/o kaela.   i'll totally clean out the berkeley apt.   i'll start skool.   crazy!

[later] 949p: i'm on southwest airlines flight 2236 from ont to sjo right now.   *sigh* there's a loud, crying baby on board. :-( so i'm back to san jo.   nuts! kaela won't join me till next weekend! :-( i really wonder how daily life'll be.   i'm very anxious!   this weekend, i absolutely hafta empty out n' clean out the berkeley apt!   when? sat? sun? *shrug* i don't know, n' it's really scaring me!   this move has been an extremely difficult 1, primarily cos'f its timing. :-(   i do however appreciate all the help our friends have given us! :-)

ugh! turbulence! scary.   well, i wonder if / hope that i get some exercise this week.   will i get to use the san josé state university gym this week?   it's s'pposed to be free 4 students.   i wonder what it's like.   will i get to check out their taekwondo club?!   so much anxiety!   neway, above all this, i just wanna do well in my classes n' be a better student than i was in undergrad.   well, i just talk 'bout exercise n' taekwondo cos i didn't get nearly enuf exercise thete past 2 weeks. :-( i worry it really took its toll on my body. :-/ sure, maybe u scoff; but really! i need to get some exercise!

2002.08.24

tekgoodbad

253p, in san jo: i actually typed an earlier entry, but i lost it.   i, uh, actually typed it on my handspring . whuh?! yah, during the week, i found a very good deal on a targus stowaway keyboard @ ebay.   i went 'head n' bought it.   it was really cheap... n' "nib" (new in box).   neway, i typed up a journal entry last nite (early this morn).   later, i had a big crash on my handspring n' lost it. :-( man! if it's not 1 thing it's 'nother, eh?   well, i managed to get my handspring into normal order... 4 the most part... but i'm still having some probs getting the korean font to look like it used to. :-( however i have some good news! :-) i'm actually online right now from my home 'puter! :-) un4tunately, i'm only connected @ 28.8k instead of 56k. :-( u c, i found a really long fon cable amongst my stuff.   i hooked up my modem to the fon line down the hall in my mom's room.   i guess the long cable lets in 2 much noise, so my modem refuses to connect @ 56k. :-( i'm dialed into berkeley's isp line... but i'm dialed in 4 free! :-) normally, i'd get charged zone.to.zone long distance charges, u know? however, i used verizon's free call 4warding, so my 'puter can dial a 408 number n' get a 510 number. woohoo! this is kewl! :-) 'cept i'm only connected @ 28.8k. :-( man... we really gotta think 'bout getting dsl in here.   i dunno if this setup'll werk well on a permanent basis, u know? :-( we'll c.

hey, how'bout some pics from socal? :-) here's a coupl'f pics from when i took the beautiful kaela kang to lunch on her b.day:

kaela @ lunch

beno @ lunch

[later] 957p: so it's nitetime now.  . i thought i'd go outside 2day, but i didn't.  . i was pretty much indoors the whole day.  . i quickly went out just to get some things from my car in the afternoon.  . :-( i don't really like days when i don't leave the house or apt. :-(

well, grace n' steve came over w/ baby mason.   they came over 4 dinner.   my mom bought some fud from a muslim chinese restaurant in cupertino n' brought it home.  . it was really good fud.   i had a hard time eating n' digesting tho' cos i'm so nervous 'bout skool! :-(

2002.08.25

recovering consumerist

1000p: 2day was "horrendous.."   that's how i put it earlier when i was talking to uh... was it roland or toby?   it was such a hektic day, i'm getting all jumbled up.  . i spent the day clearing out the berkeley apt 4 good.   there's no going back now.   *sigh* this move was absolutely horrible! well...   it was very horrible cos of our poor planning, yah; but we also just encountered so much untimeliness, i s'ppose.   everything just happened @ such bad times. :-( well, if i wanna be an optimist @ this moment, all i can say is that "adventures like this 1 keep life interesting." *sigh*   i'll try to say optimistic stuff cos, dang, i really did not feel very positive while cleaning up n' packing up 2day.   *sigh* i was so stressed.

well, even tho' i started the day out w/ my mom giving me a bowl of taiwanese sesame oil chicken noodle soup, i later had a quick lunch w/ toby.  . he asked me where i wanted to go.   ah, i had some ideas... but then 'gain i wanted to keep it as quick as possible... yet i did want to enjoy a restaurant i won't have in san jo. :-/ well, i drove him to la bamba taqueria in richmond, the pupuseria place.   i had a #18 combo: pupusa, taco, rice, n' beans.   actually toby had the same thing, we just varied our taco n' pupusa fillings, u know? oh! n' the kind of beans... n' i had a tamarindo drink, while he had horchata.   neway, i kept lunch very short n' sweet.   i took the shortest/fastest routes to n' back.  . 4 my b.day, toby gave me the spaceballs dvd n' a pair of ck boxer briefs.   that's our running gag, giving each other underwear as presents.

btw, grace n' steve gave me a book fast food nation last nite.   i had eyed that book @ borders b4.   it's 'bout the 'merican fast fud industry.   so far i've mostly read 'bout its early history n' its marketting strategies.

last nite, i learned so much 'bout american history.   i was reminded how important socal was to the begining of fast fud n' american car culture.   lots'f fast fud history happened in san bernardino county.   i just left san bernardino county!   crazy.   didju know that ray kroc, the original franchiser of mcdonald's (aka mcyukyuk's) wasa bit of a friend of walt disney?   do u realise that these big fastfud chains were mostly started by hiskool dropouts like walt disney?   crazy, huh?

on my drive up to berkeley, i kept having all these thoughts that i wanted to type out.   i thought 'bout how i've been such an awful uh... "consumerist."   i dunno if that's the right wurd, but do u know what i mean?!   like, it cms like i give in to so much marketing crap.   if some1's out there to sell it, i'm out there to buy it.   there was a day when i wasn't such a consumerist, a day when i surrounded myself in counterculture thoughts n' christian philosophies 'bout selling all ur worldly possessions n' giving the $$$ to the poor.   these were sort'f 2 diff things... but they both preached 'gainst materialism.   'member those days?   i guess i emphasized to myself that i'd be an individualist n' not buy everything that tv tells me i ought to have in order to be a normal person.   i guess it was easier not to spend $$$ back in the great depression of the early 90s.   then the teknoboom happened.   i graduated college n' had a steady job.   i ought to enjoy life i learned to tell myself.   "what's w/ all this abnegation?!"   i werk hard every day as an engineer, shouldn't i reap the benefits?!   yah... *sigh* i've been thru sooo many phases.   n' 'long the way, i've accumulated sooo much junk; n' i as i cleaned out the last of it from our berkeley apt 2day, i really regretted that part. :-(

well, 2morrow, i've gotta hustle my butt to skool early in the morn.   dang... now i can call san josé state university just plain "skool," u know?   "i'm off to skool!" *sigh* yah, i'm still very nervous.   do i have skool supplies?! am i ready?! argh! my 1st class is @ 530p, but i gotta get my registration sorted out in the morn.   the rest of the day till 530p, i'll just stress 'bout ready 4 my 1st class.   do i have paper, pens, binders?! :-/ 2nite, i had a thought: maybe the reason i didn't receive my registration material was cos they sent it by sumpthin' like registered mail... n' maybe mail 4warding's not allowed 4 that method of mail... so maybe it got sent back to them cos i told the usps that i moved. *shrug* i really gotta get this all sorted out 2morrow.   it's almost as if i wish the past 2 days hadn't been weekend days. :-/ *sigh* uh, i guess i could've n' should've just flown back 1 day earlier.   well, the beautiful kaela kang is still down in socal.   yah, this is such a weird life.

btw, i'm actually typing this entry out on my handspring, using the targus stowaway.   u c, even tho' i could easily be typing this on the 'puter, i figure i'm saving some electricity by doing this.   u know, 'puters suck up 'lott'f energy... n' i'd feel bad being such an energy waster in my mom's house.   yah, eventually i'll turn on my 'puter, synch this text to the 'puter, n' get it onto the internet using my 'puter.   however, i'm just trying to do my part, whatever i can, to reduce electricity co$ts 'round here.

2002.08.26

1st day of skool

(it's now 203p.) this morn, i woke up 'bout 755a.   the alarm was s'pposed to have woken me up @ 700a. :-( well, no biggie.   i knew my 1st class isn't till 530p 2day.   however, i needed to get on campus to sort out my administrative mess.   i fought some commute traffic.   then i looked 4 parking by the administrative bldg..   the area where i planned to park turned out to be a permit only zone.   nuts.   well, i parked in a 30 min spot n' ran in to talk to the graduate research desk.   they gave me the pin (number) i   then i tried to register on 1 of a few nearby 'puters designated 4 that purpose.   4 some reason my 'puter refused to load up the web page i need 4 class registration.   i couldn't try other 'puters cos there was now a long line 4 those 'puters.   i used my cellfon to call in.   the fon registration told me i need an advisor code.   nuts.

i returned to my car n' drove to the shuttle parking lot.   there, i waited in a long line to catch a charter bus to campus.   then i went to the mechanical & aerospace engineering dept's administrative office.   the receptionist told me to talk to dr. agarwal. the grad studies advisor, but he doesn't have office hrs till thurs.   then, i talked to the dept chair.   he couldn't give me an advisor code, but he did help me pick classes.   actually, i had already picked those classes, but i felt sooo much more com4rtable after he confirmed w/ me that i was doing the right thing.   all morn, i felt so "out of my elements."   sjsu is not berkeley, n' it's been 4 yrs since i was last in skool.   (do u realise that incoming freshmen r 9 yrs younger than me?!)

after leaving the mae dept office w/ plans to "crash" all my classes 2nite, i went the nearby student union to forage 4 fud.   i saw a burger king across the walkway from the student union.   crazy!   keep in mind, i've been reading fast food nation.   i passed up by n' opted 4 a jamba juice.   there's a jamba juice in the student union cafeteria.   this is not berkeley.   i like jamba juice.   i'm glad we have 1 right here.   i drank my smoothie, my belated breakfast.

then i studied in the library.   i wanted to check out a book, so i returned to the administrativs bldg to stand in a long line to try to get my "tower card," which is sjsu's student id card.   oh yah, b4 jamba juice... or was it after?! oh yah... after, i had already gone back 1nce to the administrative bldg to change my address to the correct 1.   neway, i tried to get my tower card, but they wouldn't let me. :-( the guy sed i need to enroll in classes 1st.   well, i want to, but i can't w/o my advisor code.   argh.   well, after that i really wandered 'round aimlessly 4 a bit.   then i went to an off.campus textbookstore to buy a sjsu binder n' some lined paper.   then i ate lunch @ la victoria taqueria. (140 e. san carlos st.; san josé, ca 95112; 408.298.5335)   that place was highly recommended to me by an san jo restaurant review article n' bernard huang.   i ate a chicken burrito n' drank a pink lemonade snapple.   i'm trying to avoid so much soda.   i found out after ordering, they also have oj.

well, now (@ 236p) i'm back on the 5th floor of the library.   i realised a few mins 'go that, from here, i have a beautiful view of the golden east san jo hills.   the air is smoggier than it used to be yet still much better than socal's.   i'll get back to studying 4 the next coupl'f hrs.   [a li'llater] 241p: oh yah! i'm sure i'll need some engineering pads (pads of special green graph paper) soon, but i didn't wanna buy it @ the textbookstore cos i can prob'ly get it cheaper @ an office supply megastore.   megastores: man! phenomenon!

[later] 355p: dang! it's already almost 400p!   time flies.   i gotta remina myself to put my ti-85 (texas instruments) graphing calculator back in my bag 4 skool.   where is it?   man, i have so much junk to sort thru n' filter!   i thought i would've gotten a graphing calculator program 4 my handspring by now.   they r out there; i just don't have ne.

[later] 450p: almost time 4 class.   i've been studying in the library.   i looked @ an old control systems book from 1967.   it's so "mission to mars"ish.   do u know what i mean?   like it talks 'bout designing automatic washing machines that automatically dispense amts of detergent n' bleach n' wash till sensors say the clothes r clean.   ha ha.  oh yah, earlier 2day, while leaving dr. barez's office (the dept chair), i accidentally dropped n' stepped on my sunglasses.   grrr!   no, they r not broken, thankfully, but they rn't in as nice of shape as they used to be. :-(

[later] 1042p: i'm back @ home.   classes ran sooo late, n' it took 4ever get back to the park n' ride lot, get gas, n' go home.   i was sooo beat when i got home.   i was so happy that my mom had dinner 4 me. :-) man, what a day!   well, i tried to do web registration 2nite, but it sez that i gotta come back @ 700a! >:-( grrr! enrolling in classes has been such a pain so far!!!   i met a coupl'f guys in my classes.   1 graduated from cal last yr, the other graduated from davis 2 yrs 'go.   i'm old... but so r many of my classmates.   i actually have a female engineering prof 4 my controls class.   i'm pretty sure she's the 1st female engineering prof i've had.   hrm, is sjsu state's faculty more diverse than berkeley's?!   lemme tell u, the ethnic content of the study body is a bit diff.   there r so many vietnamese students here.   there also cms to be so many more nonwhite students... the student population is just plain different here!   in berkeley, u get so many friggin' overachiever types.   here, ppl r diff.   i don't mean to say they're stoopid or nething, no.   however, they cm to be very proud n' appreciative that they get to go to college.   eh! that's how it cms to me.   ken 1nce told me that when he went to sjsu, he realised that so many ppl @ cal take education 4 granted.   true.

2002.08.27

got my classes

839p: it cms like i don't have so much time to update lately.   well, by lately, i think i'm just referring to 2day.   man, i guess every day is diff, right now, u know?   what is it that sheryl crow sez? "every day is a winding road," right?   well, 2day, i woke up early cos i wanted to try to enroll in my classes online @ 700a.   i tried, but it still blocked me! grr!   well, after i ate some breakfast (some rice n' fish that my mom made n' a smoothie she made), i left home.   i 1st stopped by the bank to deposit some checks.   then i went to walgreen's to get some sunscreen cos i hated worrying 'bout how i was walkin' 'round in the sun yesterday w/o sunscreen.   i know we have sunscreen somewhere in this house, but i can't find nething cos we haven't really unpacked, u know?   after walgreen's, i drove straight to the park n' ride lot.   right now, since i don't have a parking permit, i gotta park in 1 of a few special lots that r free these 1st 2 weeks, n' then ride a shuttle bus to campus.   even tho' it felt like i got to campus late, i realised i was there uh... by like 1000a, that's 5 hrs b4 my only class 2day.   well, it was a good thing i went early cos i was able to go to the graduate advisor's office hrs @ 200p.   now, the dept fixed my enrollment probs! phew!   man, the administrative staff @ sjsu is sooo much nicer n' friendlier than the administrative staff @ berkeley.   as much as i love my alma mater, i don't understand why the administrative staff there appears to try very hard to make life unpleasant 4 students!!!   sjsu's diff in that regard.   well, it's diff in many ways, n' this is 1 area in which it just plain beats the pants off of berkeley!!!   in the morn, b4 my appt w/ the grad advisor, i studied in the library 'gain.   man, i used all my teknogeekgadgets while studying. *roll eyes* like the keyboard n' inklink, etc... *sigh* it's weird, but these things r actually helping me in my studies.   basically, along w/ my handspring, they replace a laptop.   i had to buy a reader 4 my "engineering analysis" from the dept office.   man, the dept office has cn plenty of me lately!   after i got the block removed from my registration, i went to the administration office to use their 'puters to sign up 4 my classes.   right after that, i went to get my student i.d., my "tower card."   man, the gurl misspelled my name! "bernald l hwang." whuh?!   i hope i can get a new 1.   also i'm worried that they messed up my student i.d. number on the back. *shrug* i don't understand this stuff.   well, after that, i guess, i ate lunch.   i bought a spinach salad from the student union cafeteria.   i ate outside @ an umbrella shaded table.   it was very warm outside.   after lunch, i went back to the library, but i had a hard time studying cos i felt drowsy.   i looked out the window a bit n' realised i could c lots'f palm trees.   i really wanna do well in grad skool, u know.   i really do!

@ 400p, i went to my "finite element analysis" class.   i had studied 4 that class earlier, so i felt com4table in lecture.   i've gotta keep doing this, studying ahead.   i feel so much better in lecture when the material is familiar!   man, why didn't i do this in undergrad?!   after my class, i had to go to the library to use the 'puter to add that class.   now i'm enrolled in all the 3 class i wanted to take this semester: "engineering analysis," "finite element analysis," n' of course "automatic controls design."   it was so warm @ skool 2day.   i foolishly brought a jacket, but i definitely did not need it.   i thought there was a chance it'd cool down by the end of my class.   nope!

well, i went home right after class.   my mom wasn't home, but she had cooked some dinner.   instead of eating, tho', i went jogging on the trail that connects my neighbourhood w/ the lake park a bit north of here.   i didn't really push myself.   i took it very easy.   already, i had shinsplints from walking on campus.   i know i'm a bit out of shape, so i told myself to relax n' just enjoy a gently jog.   i enjoyed viewing the wildlife.   @ the lake, i saw many ducks.   i like ducks!   the trail has a fitness route thingy, where u can follow directions on some 18 posted signs that have u do diff calisthenics.   i didn't do all the exercises but just some of them.   well, after casually jogging/walking to the lake n' back, i went home.   oh yah, i told myself not to walk 2 much (but to jog more) since i can always just get 'nuff walking on campus these days.   well, i came home n' ate the taiwanese "oily rice" that my mom left 4 me.   it was 'bout 730p.   on tv, i saw a korean sitcom called "uhnjeina doogeundoogeun" 'bout some goofy airport security werkers. *shrug*   after eating, i showered.   now, here i am typing.

i spend lots'f time @ home.   life is so quiet here in the evenings.   well, when the beautiful kaela kang gets back up here, my life'll liven up, i'm sure.   this 28.8k dialup connection is no good!!! n.g.!   i'm a li'l worried now cos my classes need me to get information from the professors via the web... n' i have such an awful, primitive web connection right now.   :-( it's gonna take me 4ever to dl problem set solutions n' notes! :-( i'm worried. :-( heh, well, 'least my classes rn't on.line classes! 'else i'd be in really big trouble! *sigh*

i guess i wanna go to sleep early 2nite.   when i was leaving skool, 4 a sec, i thought i'd go to a café, drink some coffee, n' study.   i was thinking that if i keep myself awake w/ caffeine 4 a while, i'd fall asleep early 2nite.   well... even tho' i wanna study more, i think it was healthier 4 me that i went jogging.   after all, the jog is keeping me awake now.   exercise keeps u awake, u know?   n' i think it helps u go to sleep cos u've expended all ur extra energy. *shrug*

i haven't put up ne pics in a while.   i should put up a pic or 2 from campus, so all u curious ppl who don't know what sjsu's like can c. :-) i can always take a pic w/ my handcam, u know?   we'll c.

[a li'l later, after going downstairs to get some watermelon] u know what? i spend most of my day on campus studying all alone.   as much as i have absolutely zero need to be the big man on campus, no need to be popular; honestly, it's a li'l depressing n' lonely. *shrug* there's those 2 classmates i met yesterday.   1 of them, the recent cal grad was in my class 2day 2.   even tho' sjsu students cm to be quite a bit less dog.eat.dog competitive than berkeley students, many of my classmates still cm quite a bit competitive.   my "engineering analysis" prof sez he's gonna grade on a bell curve, where the mean'll be a c+ or b.   grad students must maintain a 3.0+ gpa.   that got all the students scared.   i could sense competitiveness.   i'm sure it won't be as cutthroat as berkeley... i hope!

oh! i just saw that bernard huang signed my gbook! :-) kewl! that makes me happy, bernard! ha ha. yah, i'm always in the library!   well... 'least these past 2 days it's been like that.   neway, i plan to keep it up.   it's weird how sjsu doesn't have dept/college specific libraries, (like how cal has an engineering library, biosciences library, math library, etc.)   i feel like i should be in the engineering library.   i just stay on the 5th floor stacks, where i have a view of the mountains n' palm trees. :-) it's quiet up there! "Since you're in the library most of the time, stop by my office," he sez.   ??? why does he get an office? do i get an office?! ha... well, i know that's not likely... but yah, i'll stop by his office.   u know... back in berkeley some grad students r 'llowed to take books from the main stacks n' store them on shelves @ desks w/in the library.   hrm, i wish i was 'llowed to do that.   i don't cm to be able to check out books.   i dunno why.   *sigh* all this administrative stuff to sort out!   neway, bernard, thanks 4 signing my gbook.   i believe i'm 'bout ready to change it 'gain n' give u guys new questions.   please sign the current version asap b4 i change it! :-) oh! btw, i did try to secret orange sauce @ la victoria.   even tho' it's kind'f spicy, i tried not to use 2 much cos its milky texture makes me wonder if it's fattening. :-(   i used plenty of the green sauce 2. :-) u know what i haven't had in a while? boba drinks.   i saw a place in the student union cafeteria sells boba tea... but i dunno if it's ne good. *shrug*

2002.08.28

lunch @ home

1035a: it's 1035a! i can't believe i'm still home! i should be on campus studying!!!   i was just so tired this morn.   is it cos i haven't gotten much sleep lately, so i'm finally making up 4 it?   does my jog yesterday have sumpthin' to do w/ it? *shrug*   well, while i'm home, i think i should change the mp3s that r on my soundsgood mp3 springboard module.   i've had the same mp3s on there since... man! a very long time 'go... perhaps since b4 the d.c. trip? *shrug* lemme share w/ u that list... or 'least i wanna remind myself what that list is so that i can 'member what i was listening to this past summer:

01. boa - no. 1
02. lim changjung - malhaeyo
03. park hyeikyung - suhlreiim
04. uhm junghwa - dagara
05. yada - imi seulpeun sarang
06. cool - all for you
07. kim gunmo - gajianhneun gil
08. as one - want and desire
09. chickenhead - noogoo oyangeigei doleul duhnjirya
10. position - blue day
11. jinusean feat. uhm junghwa - malhaejwuh
12. wax - money
13. g.o.d. - dorawajwuh
14. h.o.t. - haengbok
15. cool - seulpuhjilyuh hagijuhnei
16. s#arp - ddaddeushan coffee

[later] 103p: so i'm still home.   i studied a bit @ home n' ate lunch here.   i figured i'd wait until the mail comes b4 leaving.   i wanna c if my textbooks came in.

a while 'go, i learned from superdave kim of starkdavingmad that jini of the korean gayo group kiss is actually a korean.american, n' that she was part of this mtv "last fan standing" contest.   it was just some contest where internet users voted on a person to present an award @ the mtv video music awards, i think.   neway, enuf ppl voted 4 her, so she won.   crazy, huh?   it would be nice to c a korean singer get some publicity in american media.

[later] 327p: i've been studying in the library 4 a while.   i got to the park n' ride lot 'round 200p.   @ home,i couldn't wait nemore 4 the mailperson, so i left.   i ate some oily rice ("yu bung") 4 lunch, but i'm getting hungry 'gain. :-( i'll eat sumpthin' b4 class, which starts @ 530p; perhaps   oh yah, the chain restaurants close early, so i'd better not go 2 late.   eh! we'll c.

[later] 444p: well, i had a strawberries wild jamba smoothie just now.   i sat here reading my "engineering analysis" reader.   oh, i 4got to mention that i 4got my cellfon 2day.   i guess i'm really 4getful 2day. :-( when i get home from class 2day, it'll be 2 late to run in the park.   no jog?   prob'ly not, but we'll c.

[later] 942p: 18 mins till the 100p simpsons.   well, 1 more day of grad skool down/done.   can u believe that?   i've been a grad student 4 3 days now!   crazy.   my classmate brian gave me a ride to the park n' ride lot after class, so i didn't need to take the shuttle, which only comes 'round every 20 mins in the evening.   i gotta get a parking permit. :-(   man, i really feel motivated to study... i dunno... is it fear? or is it just plain motivation? *shrug* i just want to be a good student!

2day, i drove home on (the) 87 instead of going local like the other 2 days.   i got home much faster.   every morn, i take (the) 87 to (the) 280 n' then get off on 10th or 7th street to go to the park n' ride lot.   however, when i go home, i never go back that way cos i feel like it's backtracking.   why is it diff? *shrug* actually, 2day, i didn't go to skool in the morn, eh?   well, when i got home, my mom actually had a salad from carl's jr. 4 me.   she told me earlier, that i prob'ly'd hafta cook 4 myself 2nite.   what a nice surprise.   it was a very good salad, a buffalo chicken salad, 1 of their new menu itmes.   u know, i was reading 'bout carl karcher n' carl's jr in fast food nation.   it mentioned how he's really into conservative politiks.   how come fast food cms always to be linked to conservative politics?!   is it just the "big bizness" thing?!   .no, cos in.n.out is a "family" owned chain, n' i heard the founding family's really conservative. *shrug* well, coca.cola's s'pposed to be a democrat company. *shrug* is it that they just don't want a big government telling them what they can n' can't put in their patties? *shrug*

well, i'm listening to now that's what i call music, volume 10 .   yup, it's just 'bunch'f top 40, teenybopper crap, but eh! i just wanna be hip, u know? ha ha.   i'm hearing this remix of a j.lo song called "i'm gonna be alright." hrm, the remix uses da loonies' "i got 5 on it." the remix of j.lo's "ain't it funny" that i put on benomix4jip also uses that bassline!  . hrm... weird.   oh yah, i did change the mp3s on my soundsgood early this afternoon.   while waiting 4 the shuttle to drive me from the park n' ride lot to campus, i heard this mp3 of a s.e.s. megamix.   it was a pretty good mix, n' it also used some mandarin covers of s.e.s songs... 'least "i'm your girl."   who did that cover? yuki hsu?   while listening to it, i couldn't help think, "man, this sounds like a remix i'd do!"   'member my "waebulluh" megamix that used yuki's cover?   on the album cover i wrote the track's title in chinese.   i just copied what i saw on the cover 4 the original cd.   i had no clue what i was writing.   in the buy.com shipment in which i got now that's what i call music, volume 10, i also got paul oakenfold's latest album bunkka n' a 2cd set of wedding musik.

what i c from the 5th floor of the library

where i get smoothies on campus

2002.08.29

the weirdest week in my life in the past few yrs

350p: 10 mins till my "finite element analysis" class.   2day, i accomplish 2 bits of administrative matters... no, 3... no, 4: 1) i checked out 2 "finite element analysis" books from the library. 2) i bought my parking permit. 3) i got my name on my i.d. card corrected, n' 4) i checked out the fitness gym in the sports club.

i got to campus @ noon after parking in the park n' ride lot 4 hopefully the last time (now that i have my parking permit) n' ridinq the shuttle.   i studied 4 a while in my usual spot.   some electrical, computer, or mechanical engineering undergrads were talking kind'f loudly nearby.   i took a lunchbreak n' got a chicken whopper jr. meal from bk. i realised this bk serves pepsi produkts instead of coke produkts. *shrug*

[later] 1051p: well, i went to my finite analysis class n' then took the shuttle bus to my car n' drove home.   i had to fight a small 'mount of evening commute traffic on my way home, a small 'mount.   i talked to roland 4 a very, very long time on the fon.   yah, i don't c ppl very often now... uh, i mean i c ppl all the time, but i don't encounter friends very often.  . i just study.   well, i know things'll change a li'l when the beautiful kaela kang gets here... but i do hope i keep up the studying.  . i wish i had felt this motivated from the beginning of my undergrad, when i was a freshman.   i took out the ol' ti.85 calculator a li'l while 'go.   man, i had to remind myself how to do matrices on this thing.   i got confused n' tried to use matlab's system of typing in matrices. (i'm sorry the nerd faktor of my journal has increased by a factor of 4.528 in the past week!   i really am!) lemme ask u, how often do u encounter text like this? "the program is written in the american national standards institute fortran language as described in the ansi document x3.9-1966 (approved on march 7, 1966).  . the newer fortran 77 is not used, but the program should run with no significant changes on systems using fortran 77.  . the program is meant to be run from a console where the variable lconsl in the main program is the console device number (e.g., 3 on an apple ii microcomputer, 5 on the vax 11/780)."   huh huuh! huh huuh! *snort*

2002.08.30

joon called it "freeday."

131p: it's fri afternoon.  . i don't have classes on fri, so i didn't go to campus 2day, n' i don't plan to.   i'm gonna go meet up w/ fahad n' vince this afternoon.   this morn, i tried to clean up the house a li'l.   i tried to continue filtering thru the stuff we brought down from berkeley, putting things in their proper places n' throwing out unnecessary things. :-/ it's a tuff job!  . i realised sumpthin' that i guess i already knew: i've had a addiction to buying household cleaning produkts!  . sure every1 knows that the beautiful kaela kang has a tendency/addiction to buying cute things... n' me, i have an addiction to buying household cleaning produkts!   sure, i also have spend 2 much $$$ in the recent past on teknogadgets... but 'least that's more understandable as i'm a male age 25-25 or whatever...   it's more expected 4 a guy like me, in that age bracket, to be a gadget addict.  . household cleaning product addict?!

this morn, i ate a "ba won," a taiwanese meat dumpling thingy.  . my mom bought a few of them, n' i microwaved 1 w/ the sauces that came in the styrofoam box.  . i dunno where she got it.  . it cms to be some kind'f deli place. *shrug* ...maybe just a restaurant.  . well, it's the kind'f thing i used to get sometimes from 168, u know?   (last nite, my mom cooked some of the mandoo from the freezer, stuff that kaela n' i brought down from berkeley.   i just mention that cos i cm to be listing off stuff i've been eating, u know?)

it's crazy that this is labour day weekend: a 4 day weekend 4 me!   yah, i mean... i'm not in skool right now...   well, in the future, maybe i'll just keep studying during the day on fris.   like, i do like having my days free to study.   if my studying produktivity goes down, then yah... i should resume looking 4 a job.  . the way i feel right now is that i have a shot @ doing really well in grad skool.   i really wanna take this shot, try!   i really wanna do well.

235p: i should be on the road to fremont to meet up w/ fahad, but i'm still home.   i'm printing out some notes 4 my finite element analysis class.   man, these days, if i have a choice btwn goofing off or doing sumpthin' studying.related, i choose to do the studying.related thing.   then 'gain, i just don't shut up 'bout this!

2002.08.31

radio song

1130a: this morn, i woke up to some weird dreams.   eh, i don't feel like talkin' 'bout them 2 much, but in the last 1, i was trying to take a pic of bill clinton, (who in my dream was 'gain the president), w/ my handcam on my handspring.

yesterday, i tried to clean up n' stuff @ home in the morn to early afternoon.   then i printed out some dled class notes.   then i went to fremont to pick up fahad n' drove us up to berkeley to meet up w/ vince; yup, the original 3 hillegass guys! :-) when fahad n' i got to campus, after i parked the car on college bwtn durant n' bancroft, almost immediately i heard some1 call my name, n' it was young.   we were talking w/ young 4 a while.   then vince showed up.   the 3 of us guys went down to the asuc (studiont union) store to look @ stuff 4 a short while.   then we walked 'round telegraph.   1st, since fahad n' i were really hungry, we went to fat slice to get veggie slices.   then we browsed in amoeba (musik store) n' moe's (new/used bookstore).   then eventually, we went back to my car, n' i drove us to kabana pakistani restaurant down near the corner of university n' san pablo.   fahad n' vince were convinced that the fud isn't as good there as it used to be.   yah, sometime uh... last yr or so, i guess, i brought the beautiful kaela kang there 4 lunch, n' i thought the fud wasn't as good there was it was back when fahad 1st introduced it to me as such a great pakistani restaurant.   *sigh* man... i just realised how long ago that was when fahad 1st introduced me to the restaurant.   geez, i feel old now, u know? :-/

well, after kabana... i drove us up to campus, 'round foothill (our original dorm back freshman yr), n' then to el cerrito plaza.   i showed them how it has 3 starbucks.   well, we went to the starbucks inside barnes & nobles.   we briefly looked 'round the bookstore, but it was getting late... what us old fogies consider late... X-D   after driving us by the hillegass place 1nce 4 ol' times' sake, i dropped vince off @ his car n' drove fahad home.

now it's sat.   yesterday was fri.   ah, the weekend... a 4 day weekend 4 me!   yup, it's labour day weekend.   also, yesterday, i didn't have classes.   yah, it's not right 4 me to goof off on fris if i don't have class.   if i don't have class, i should always be studying or else... u know... eventually, i should get a job if i'm not using all the free time i have 4 studying. :-/   kaela's flight doesn't come in till later than i originally thought.   i wonder if i can get some werkout in @ the sjsu gym. :-/ it's much smaller than the rsf.   that also makes it a bit less motivating.   i don't even know if it's open 2day.   on tues, i went running.   man, my calves were sore 4 a long time after that.   they're just starting to feel normal 2day, i think.

4 a while now, i've liked the ian van dahl song "castles in the sky" , from the album ace .   i also still like the somewhat overplayed dj sammy & yanou track "heaven" from dj sammy's self.titled album .   it's just that, since i was driving fahad from fremont to berkeley, i listened to 92.7 fm n' heard these tracks that i somewhat missed.   u c, we don't get 92.7 fm 2 well in san jo.

heh, u should really check out this article "yuppy music monopoly" by shadi on some web publication called "youth outlook."   sure, it really bags on everything that i am, but i'm always glad to offer access to opposing viewpoints, right?   check out this excerpt: "92.7's program director, who lives in L.A., told the San Jose Mercury News that the station is for "people who like to go out, dress up, have a good time.They like nice things and they have money." He also said that the station is for all those 20 to 40-year-olds who "have issues with hip-hop." Not only does what he said not describe me at all, I personally don't think it describes most youth in the Bay. It's obvious that 92.7's music doesn't reflect what we listen to because we don't have economic power, so we're overlooked."   u know; me, i am starting to have issues w/ hip hop.   i don't hate it... but sometimes the whole hip hop scene feels a bit ridiculous to me @ times.   i admit, some of these thoughts sort'f maybe come from how hyun always kept baggin' on hip hop on bronx's... but maybe it's cos i sort'f am that kind'f person that this nonbayarea program director is describing, the kind'f person that this kid "shadi" sez she's not.   sure, @ times i like to believe that i "like nice things and have money."   the author calls 92.7 "music gentrification."   of course it is!   after all, how do u argue 'gainst such a big wurd from such a young writer?! X-D

well, here's the definition of gentrification from dictionary.com, since that must be the dictionary of choice 4 all these "yuppies from the dot-com boom": gen tri fi ca tion: n. The restoration and upgrading of deteriorated urban property by middle-class or affluent people, often resulting in displacement of lower-income people. (yes; even tho' i say that i agree that this is "music gentrification, i do also notice the obvious fact that unemployed ex.dotcommies r "lower income people.") *sigh* geez, so this is what the teknobust, bush jr. america has done to the 1nce glorious silicon valley, eh?   c, from what i've cn in my time, when the economy is good, kids listen to mindless top 40 radio where they compile the cheesiest of hip hop n' the cheesiest of rock.   then when the economy falls, the pop musik world by law must split into black gangsta rap n' white angst rock... cos the reason we don't have nice things is cos'f the other race.   hey! i'm just a yellow boy here! the reason i don't have nice things is cos all the rest of u mfers won't pay me a 0.5 million dollar salary to mix korean gayo on the radio airwaves!

well, even tho' that's the ultimate truth here, i'm always willing to show u guys an opposing viewpt such as the "youth outlook" article, which tries to lie to u that 92.7 fm which remains a station w/o chattering "djs" is the "reincarnation" of z95.7fm which was all 'bout chattering "djs" speaking so many wurds but not really every saying nething.   z95.7fm was true american top 40 radio.   92.7 fm, while it is not trance/tekno radio, as some ppl'd like to believe, doesn't play the latest justin timberlake release just as it doesn't play nelly's "hot in here."   it cms like 92.7 fm originally tried to be more of rave/trance station (w/ only advertisements from homosexual niteclubs), but then they decided it was more in their commercial interest to include freestyle n' house.   that's somewhat of a healthy bay area mix, i gotta say: tekno/rave/trance from the original sf club scene n' freestyle/house from the fremont / san jo rice rocket scene.   don'tchu think?   after all the "yay" area's hip hop scene already get the frequencies 94.9 fm n' 106.1 fm.   what we really need to do is start chipping away @ all these dang oldies stations in the bay area!!!   geez, there r sooo many!

yesterday, on the car ride to berkeley fahad n' i discussed xm radio; which, in case u've been living in a cave 4 the past yr, is satellite radio, a new industry that prob'ly evolved from satellite tv.   u pay $10 a month to hear xm radio stations on ur xm radio equipment, which u gotta specifically buy.   'member, ken these days sells dss (digital satellite television systems) in addition to cell fons.   he tells me the market is great.   sooo many ppl in the south bay r purchasing dish netwerk systems!   apparently, what many bay area residents like 'bout dss is that u can get more "ethnic" programming.   u can get chinese tv, korean tv, indian tv, mexican tv, japanese tv...   will xm radio catch on?   fahad told me he heard an interview w/ the founder of xm.   fahad heard that xm radio is the fastest growing subscription broadcast service in the uh... nation? country? (i 4get) ...right now.   yah, $10 a month.   that's not 2 bad.   i checked out the xm webpage n' learned that xm is neglecting the fact that so many bay area residents buy dss tv service 4 non.english language programming.   they don't have ne.   they didn't fail to overlook that some ppl buy dss n' cable tv service 4 porno n' sex.oriented programming; they r debuting playboy radio next week.   i s'ppose this'll allow horny men to find out what naked women sound like.

2002.09.01

painfully slow 28.8k

1057p: it's only 1057p?!   it feels sooo late!   i stayed up way 2 late last nite.   yesterday afternoon, i picked up the beautiful kaela kang from the airport. :-)   i was very happy to c her! :-)   well, i thought i was gonna take her straight to dinner, but she had kimchi w/ her from home that needed to be refrigerated.   we went home n' put the kimchi n' jangjorim in the fridge.   then i took kaela out to dinner @ kabuto sushi in san jo's j.town.   yah, i dunno how many of u who rn't from san jo realise that san jo has a japan town.   it was a very delicious dinner.   we had some sushi, some tataki (rare beef), n' some kuroke (croquettes).   after dinner, we went to amc mercado 20 to watch a movie.   i thought we could watch my big fat greek wedding, but the showtime was 2 late, so we bought tix 4 mib2.   since there was quite a bit of time b4 our show, we bought some espresso drinks @ starbucks.   kaela got latté, n' i got cappuccino.   it's more typical 4 me to drink cappuccino than latté, n' i guess kaela pretty much always gets latté not cappuccino.  . the movie was pretty funny.   like, it won't be my favourite movie this summer, but it was decently funny.   well, after the movie we went home.   i stayed up late reading.

2day, we woke up sooo late.   we ate some fried rice my mom made on fri n' some kimchi n' jangjorim.   then we eventually made it out the door.  . actually... i didn't wake up very late; only kaela.   i was actually up pretty early.   what was i doing?   i know i was trying to get random biz done online, but dang! it takes 4ever to get nething done w/ a slow 28.8k connection! :-( this is awful!   well, when we went out this afternoon, i took kaela to the rosicrucian egyptian museum on park n' naglee.   that was her 1st time there, but i'd already been there a few times as a kid.   it was very fun n' very educational.   i've always enjoyed ancient egyptian culture.   after the museum, we went to eat jjajangmyuhn n' kkanpoongsaewoo @ a chinese restaurant called dongsoonwon in korean on el camino real.   i dunno what the chinese name is.   it was ok, but i gotta agree w/ kaela that it's not as good as bookkyuhng in garden grove.   after stuffing ourselves stoopid, we went to hangook market to buy a few groceries.   i'm glad i could show kaela that the silly valley has a decent korean market!   actually, i had never been inside, so i was decently surprised @ how big it is.   well, after that, we drove 'round a bit n' then went home.   oh yah, b4 going to the museum, we stopped @ rite.aid on blossom hill to get sunscreen (real sunscreen, not spf 15 facial sunscreen) n' index dividers 4 my skoolwerk.   man that stripmall that contains the rite-aid,which used to be payless a long time 'go, it has really gone downhill!   urgh, i hate to say it, but it's pretty ghetto now! :-( *sigh* that's always sad to say, eh?

oh, while surfing the web (@ that painfully slow 28.8k) just a few mins 'go, i found out that there's a rubio's mexican grill in the valley fair shopping mall.   woohoo! i know kaela was scared that we'd never get to go to rubio's 'gain after leaving berkeley n' moving 'way from that great el cerrito plaza.   heh... *sigh* it's so weird to talk 'bout franchised fast fud joints while i'm reading fast food nation.   i'm starting to rediscover the advantages of supporting those small, mom n' pop joints instead of franchises.   u know, in berkeley, u have so many great mom n' pop asian fud joints.   yah, they r a great alternative to franchised fast fud.   yah, of course, @ times, i kaela n' i got really sick of going to the durant fud ghetto so much... but well, i was saying that those kinds of restaurants r a great alternative to fast fud... there r other times, when i know i'd just rather go 4 a sitdown dinner, u know? *shrug* they're 2 diff things.

1158p: in 2 mins, it'll be labour day.  . man, how weird: a 4 day weekend.   so we didn't go to berkeley 2day.   i sort'f thought that we would, but eh! i also knew that it's good 4 kaela to hang out in san jo to get used to the place.   it's good 4 me 2.  . 2morrow, we'll meet up w/ ken n' grace 4 lunch.

2002.09.02

books n' wheels

950p: 2day is nelson's b.day.   happy b.day nelson! :-)

u know, i noticed a coupl'f peculiar things @ sjsu: 1) students w/o backpacks who just carried a notebook in their arms, n' 2) students who carry their books n' materials in wheeled bags.   yah, i heard on the news that chiropractors say that the wheeled bag is the best way to carry ur books.   sometimes i'm tempted to carry 2 many books.   it's as if i wanna carry my entire collection of engineering related books w/ me to skool.   i shouldn't do that.   i have left 2 engineering books in my car tho'.   i'm figuring, if i wanna use them, i can run back to my car n' get them.   these 2 books r my e.i.t. prep books.   they r pretty good 4 providing info on the more basic engineering topiks.

1148p: 'gain, it feels much later than it actually is.

2002.09.03

bernard hwang / huang luncheon

1203a: i just finished writing yesterday's entry a few mins 'go, n' now i'm starting 2day's entry?! *shrug* ok, whatever.   well, i wanna thank joon 4 signing my gbook.   he will be the last to sign that version of the gbook.   now i have added new questions.   now, all of u, please sign the latest version of my gbook! thanks!   well, as always, i'll be the 1st to answer the questions:

name: beno hwang
email: beno@benomix.com
homepage url: http://www.benomix.com
ur favourite way to cook (steam, boil, sauté, stirfry, bake, deepfry, bbq, stovegrill, rotisserie, stew, "i only eat raw fud."): stew
ur favourite star trek series (tos (the original series), tng (the next generation), ds9 (deep space nine), v (voyager), enterprise, "i'm not a geek!"): v (voyager)
u live (in an apt, in a dorm, in a house, in ur parent's or parents' house, in a van down by the river, in ur mom's place w/ ur fiancée): in ur mom's place w/ ur fiancée
u most often eat rice w/ (chopsticks out of a bowl, spoon out of a bowl, fork out of a bowl, chopsticks off of a plate, spoon off of a plate, fork off of a plate): chopsticks out of a bowl
if u had to listen to 1 song over n' over 'gain 4 the next week; what would it be?   please discuss. well, the song that i have consistently liked quite a bit 4 the past few weeks to months is boa's "no. 1."   yah, it is shamelessly "pop," but it brightens up my day.
when all goes wrong; whom do u blame (ur family, the government, urself, ur significant other, ur friends, beno, those dang immigrants, the man / whitey, ur boss): beno
additional comments: hrm, were these tuff questions?   i think i answered them to the best of my knowledge.   who the heck dares to say that his favourite star trek series is not next generation but voyager?!?!?!   am i out of my mind?!   *shrug* i definitely do like tng... but i guess i'm just brainwashed cos i'm used to watching voyager reruns these days... not tng reruns...   neway, it's time to move on... slow as i may be... sure, enterprise has yet to win that special place in my heart, but 'least i've moved on to accept voyager, right?   even tho' @ my mom's house, i usually eat rice w/ chopsticks out of a bowl, i actually prefer to eat rice out of a big bowl w/ a spoon.   it's more efficient that way.

the bourne identity: ain't that car chase thru paris a great musik video 4 paul oakenfold's "ready, steady, go"??? :-)

1158p: 2day, i got to skool in the morn, fought 4 a parking space, studied w/ bernard huang, had lunch w/ bernard @ la victoria, n' went to class.   then i drove home thru traffik, got home right after my mom did n' a bit b4 the beautiful kaela kang did.   in the evening, i watched 2 much tv.   what i need is less tv n' more exercise.   this is no way to live! :-(

2002.09.04

the early burdy gets the parking.

1255a: man, can u believe it's the 4th day of sept already?! crazy!   *sigh*

126a: here r some more pics from this past aug's socal trip:

some more pics from the summer 2002 socal trip

visiting uc irvine w/ phil
phil n' beno on the uc irvine campus	phil n' kaela on the uc irvine campus
l.a. on kaela's b.day
u've already cn this: beno @ lunch w/ kaela on her b.day	u've already cn this: kaela @ lunch on her b.day
camera's weren't allowed into the andy warhol exhibit @ the moca.	so where did these pics come from?!
beno w/ the fountain outside the la moca
random pic
beno w/ some friends

man, i wanna go to sleep.   i wanna wake up earlier this morn than i did yesterday morn.   parking was really tuff yesterday morn.

[later] 455p: my "engineering analysis" class starts in 0.5 an hr.   i'm sitting here in the almost empty classroom typing on my handspring w/ my targus stowaway.   yah, i know this looks dorky, but eh! oh well.   well, 2day was a very hektic day... ugh, i dunno where to start... it started out so hektic, but then it got better.   right now, i feel ok.   this morn, i got to campus pretty early but not early 'nuff.   i couldn't find ne parking in the garages.   u know what? after not finding parking, i went back home cos i 'member kaela told me to send out dave's wedding invitation reply... n' i thought i had 4gotten.   well, when i got home, i guess my mom had sent it out yesterday or sumpthin'. *shrug* *sigh* neway, after i went home, i went to kinko's n' copied a reader 4 my classmate.   it was a bit of a pain,
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Tnbsp; i was expecting to c my classmate brian, but he didn't show up.   then a li'l after noon, i left the library, took the shuttle back to the park n' ride lot, n' drove home.   i ate a lunch of several bowls of smart start cereal while reading the spartan daily (sjsu's student newspaper), got some studying materials organised, n' burned a cd of some random musik.   while the cd was burning i took a 0.5 hr nap.   i definitely did not wanna miss my finite element analysis class, so i set the alarm.   i took my freshly burnt cd, got in the car, n' drove to campus.   hrm, i messed up some tracks on that cd by copying the wrong tracks from the original cd.   well, i went to class, had a pretty good class.   then i went to my car, dropped off my book bag n' grabbed my gym bag.   i went to the sjsu fitness gym n' did 20 mins of stairmaster followed by some weightlifting.   it felt very good to get some exercise finally!   after my werkout, i realised that i couldn't shower in the locker room cos i didn't bring a towel.   i had brought a li'l handtowel 4 the werkout but no shower towel.   it's not like the berkeley rsf, which provides its users w/ towels.   well, i drove home after that n' had dinner @ home.

later, i made that personalised edit of chakra's "ggeut" that i talked 'bout in yesterday's entry ("custom remix" on 2002.09.05).   yesterday, i failed to mention that i did a similar thing w/ so yoojin's "parapara queen."   i didn't like the slow part @ the beginning, so i chopped it off.   i had some probs w/ sound forge, so i had to use sawplus32.   man! i haven't had a werking version of sound forge in a while!   in all reality, i don't think i can produce benomix5jip w/o a wekring version of sound forge! :-(   i may need to do a complete reinstall of windows soon. *shrug* it's hard to say what i'll do w/ my 'puter.   so much stuff is up in the air.   u know how i don't have a real netwerk connection yet?   well, shoot... that's gotta be resolved!

so i went to starbuck's w/ nelson n' ken.   nelson picked me up n' drove me there.   we discussed making a wireless netwerk that could take a dsl connection from 1 house n' split it to other houses, so the 3 of us can share 1 dsl line!   well, we're gonna run some experiments this weekend.   i hope it werks.

*sigh* i had a thought yesterday, while driving home from skool in the evening: time is $$$.   $$$ is gas.   so time is gas.   do u think so?   what 'bout grades?   time is grades, so grades is $$$, n' gas is grades.   right? *shrug* the more i drive, the better grades i should get? *shrug* well, now that i'm in san jo, i drive plenty.   stuff is more spread out here in the silly valley.   sure, that's sort'f like life in socal.   of course, i was driving plenty in berkeley, but often it was short distances.   after all, the distance btwn my apt n' the rsf? not that much, right?   yah, but i was always driving to/from it.   well, out here, stuff is more spread out.   parking: yah, san josé state's parking situation is really bad n' lots'f the students r whining.   i wish they knew that parking in berkeley is so much worse.   yah, i was reading the spartan daily n' there was an article n' an editorial 'bout parking.   i also read an associated press article in there 'bout napster.   it sed that the napster page now only has uh... an homage to world war ii's kilroy.   "huh?" i thought.   well, i did some research n' found this webpage: http://www.ohiohistory.org/etcetera/exhibits/kilroy/.   this page discusses how american world war ii soldiers went 'round writing graffiti that sed "kilroy was here" all over europe.   n' it often included that "peeping tom" character.   hrm, did i learn 'bout this stuff in dundes's folklore classes?   i 4get.   neway, i checked out the napster page.   i think it sed, "napster was here."   man, there's no good way to dl musik on the net nemore.

well, yesterday, while i was studying in the library, owen called me n' asked me to go to lunch w/ him.   i updated him 'bout how i'm in grad skool @ san josé state now n' stuff.   i told him he'd hafta come down to san jo.   well, here's here somewhere near campus waiting 4 me now, so i gotta go.

[later] 250p: so i introduced owen to kabuto sushi japanese restaurant.   we had a really good lunch! :-) we caught up on old times, talked 'lot 'bout taekwondo stuff.   it was nice to c owen 'gain after all this time.   i know he's been really bizzy w/ his bizness matters.   well, it was nice to get a chance to just talk 'bout fun stuff n' eat good fud.   i've been back in the library 4 'bout an hr now.   the sad thing is that i haven't done ne werk yet 2day. :-( i've been writing email on my handspring up until now... n' now i'm just writing this journal entry. :-( i really gotta study.  well, lemme say 1 thing b4 i go: i can't believe i drank a grandé cappuccino last nite n' a tall cappuccino last wed.   2 much coffee!   as usual, i prefer to drink espresso drinks rather than normal coffee.   neway, i shouldn't drink so much coffee! >:-(

2002.09.07

daebok bokuh bookuh

148a:"daebok" means "great happiness or fortune."   "bokuh" is a "puffer" fish.   "bookuh" is an alaskan pollock.

jerome n' laura: thank u very much 4 signing my gbook!!!   u guys r 2 kewl! :-)   i'm glad jerome has gotten the bronx's junkyard site back up to some state of running.   no, it's not completely running yet, but i hope it will soon be.

[later] 1053p: so perhaps life is fast.   i can't cm to keep up w/ it, i.e. i can't cm to keep u guys updated. :-/ well, maybe that's no big deal. *shrug* i like to record what i do.   whether u like to read my records or not... *shrug* well, yah, i haven't been able to talk 'bout all that i've done in the past 24 hrs... not that it's been that crazy... i mean, me, i'm having tons of fun; but yah, that doesn't mean u'r gonna have tons of fun reading 'bout it. *shrug*   well, fri... i stayed on campus right up until the standard "quittin' time," right?   i was there till what... hrm... past 500p? sumpthin' like that.   then i went home.   then the beautiful kaela kang called me up n' sed that she needed me to pick her up from the kia dealership cos she was dropping off her car 4 service.   well, i got back in my car n' drove out to the dealership n' picked her up.   then we went looking 4 dinner.   we've sed that we've gotta investigate the korean n' chinese restaurants on el camino as potential fud providers 4 our wedding.   well, we drove 'round on el camino, but i had to say 1nce 'gain that u can't necessarily do that kind'f thing!   sometime u hafta pull into parking lots of strip malls to figure out what biznesses r inside.   u can't tell exactly what kind'f fud a restaurant serves just by looking @ the sign from the road.   that's true in l.a. n' that's true in santa clara.   well, we ended up @ daebok korean restaurant.   i know i have cn a similar sign @ the strip mall in oakland that has koryo sootbool.   i think there was a restaurant just like this 1 over there, but a long time 'go.   all that i have cn of that restaurant is maybe a sign on a window or sumpthin'.   i think koryo sootbool bought out their space to make a banquet room.   well, this daebok restuarant on el camino just recently opened.   it's a very korean establishment.   i don't think i saw ne nonkoreans there.   well, not totally familiar w/ the experience of dining @ this kind'f restaurant, we just ordered 2 servings of maeoontang (spicy seafud stew).   it was really good.   when u'r almost done w/ the stew, a waitress comes by n' offers to make bokkeumbap (fried rice) in the heated hotpot that the stew came in.   well, after dinner, i called up ken n' nelson to c if they wanted to hang; but it didn't cm like that was possible.   thus, kaela n' i resolved to go watch a movie.   we went to the amc in saratoga n' watched possession.   it was a pretty good movie, very much 4 romanticists.   it stars gwyneth paltrow n' was written by david henry hwang.

this morn, kaela n' i went out bally's fitness to start a 2 week trial membership there.   it's a pretty nice gym, actually.   while talking to the sales rep guy 'bout pricing etc., i couldn't help but think, "i really need to find a place to practice taekwondo.   when i find it, i'll spend some time practicing taekwondo n' that'll take 'way from time i spend @ the fitness gym."   however, i also reminded myself that ne deal i get thru bally's fitness'll be cheaper than what i used to pay @ berkeley's cal rec club.   after hanging out @ bally's fitness 2day n' @ sjsu's gym earlier this week, i realise that berkeley rsf users r very spoiled!!!   the rsf, even tho' students always take it 4granted, is actually a very upscale sports gym!   u hafta keep in mind that the rsf provides its users w/ werkout n' shower towels as well as locks 4 day lockers.   well, i did have a good time @ bally's doing precor n' weightlifting.   after that, i stretched, n' kaela helped me do the taekwondo leg strength training drills that dr. lieu taught me.   even tho' it's absolutely not a replacement 4 real taekwondo training, i really wanna check out the kwando classes that they have @ these gyms.   @ a bally's location diff from the 1 we went to 2day, they have kwando classes on tues/thurs 700-800p.   i hope kaela n' i can go to those to check 'em out.   we'll c.   lots'f the fitness classes don't go well w/ my academic skedule.   'member: my classes r mostly in the evening. :-/

well, after werkin' out n' showering, we went to meet up w/ ken n' grace in milpitas to go to fremont to check out their future wedding site.   kaela n' i grabbed a footlong buffalo chicken sandwich from subway in milpitas b4 heading over to ken's store.   then we went to the site, checked it out.   then we all headed over to the mall, where kaela n' i bought our wedding bands from ken n' grace's friend who gave us some really good deals.   actually, i didn't buy kaela's wedding band 2day cos it's gonna hafta be custom made, so the guy's gonna get me a quote on mon.   man, it looks like ken n' grace's friend is gonna be a big help in getting our wedding back within budget! :-) after doing the wedding band biz, the 4 of us went to eat dinner @ hungry hunter.   i didn't mind eating a big hunk'f red, red meat cos i've been weightlifting n' stuff.   after dinner, kaela n' i stopped by rite.aid to buy a padlock 4 her to use in the gym.   man, i never cease to be amazed @ how ghetto that rite.aid has become!   it's so sad.   i hate to admit that i sort'f hope that store goes out of bizness so a new, better store can take its place. :-/

well, 2morrow kaela n' i hope to go swimming @ the gym in the morn.   in the early afternoon, i'm s'pposed to meet up w/ nelson @ a boba café in cupertino.   man! i haven't had a boba drink since i left socal!   geez, this is crazy!   it's not like there isn't plenty of boba in norcal!   i just cm not to end up @ boba cafés!   it's so weird cos there really is more asian culture n' asian biznesses down here in the south bay than up in the east bay.   however, i just somehow haven't had ne boba lately.   u know... that's what i get 4 being such a nerd staying in the library all day, i guess.   neway, *sigh* let's not break that habit, k?   after all, i can always get boba @ the sjsu student union cafeteria, right?   no need to leave campus!

2002.09.10

"leaving trouserdale"

252p: this morn, i woke up to a weird dream: i dreamt that i was watching an mtv ad 4 a new usher album titled leaving trouserdale with ice skates on my feet,   i think, @ the same time, i was reading a music magazine ad 4 the same album.   i'm not a big fan of usher.   weird.

i had a very stressful, frustrating day yesterday.   2day, things got better, in some ways, but in perhaps more ways, they got worse. :-(   yesterday was just such a messy day.   since the beautiful kaela kang's kia is in the shop, i had to drive her to werk.   i was so groggy in the morn, but i did it.   then i made a futile attempt to find parking in the sjsu student garages.   i had to give up cos i was just 2 late to get a parking spot.   u really gotta get there b4 800a if u wanna get a parking spot in ne of the student garages in the morn.   then i searched 4 a starbucks near kaela's werk.   i figured i'd hang out in that area to be close 4 lunch.   well, i had a coffee frapp @ a starbucks n' read my control systems engineering book.   then i went to make some fotocopies of an old reader from a classmate's friend @ kinko's.   after that i didn't know where to go, so i sat in the parking lot n' read e.mail, dillydallied...   ugh, it was very frustrating.   then kaela called me to tell me that she might not have lunch w/ me cos'f some stuff @ werk.   well, i still left it open.   i dillydallied a bit n' drove to the parking lot of fry's electronics.   sat there 4 a bit.   then i quickly browsed thru the store a bit.   then i went back to the car n' called kaela.   she told me she was having lunch w/ her cowerker, but that she'd need my car 4 the rest of the day cos hers'd be in the shop longer.   i joined her n' her cowerker 4 lunch.   then i took kaela w/ me to the sjsu campus n' let her take my car back.   i studied w/ some classmates b4 class.   1 guy wanted to go get vietnamese sandwiches b4 class, so i agreed that it'd be good to get out of the library 4 a bit b4 class.   i wasn't hungry, but i ate a cheap; $1.50 sandwich neway, n' i drank a blue ox drink.   i was amazed that such a drink brand exists: blue ox, the competitor to red bull; it amused me a bit.   then we went to class.   man, mon / wed classes go sooo late.   after class, i went to the engineering 'puter lab to get an acct set up n' to test out the software.   then kaela came from the gym to pick me up.   i was on campus so late.   *sigh* ken asked us to meet him 4 some fud n' coffee.   i thought there'd be some kind'f special occassion or sumpthin', so i went even tho' i wanted to go home.   i'm guessing that he called me up n' invited me out cos he felt bad that 2 weeks 'go, i kept calling him when i was totally bored @ home (when kaela was in socal), n' he was 2 bizzy to go out.   kaela n' i ate @ some random pizza n' sandwiches restaurant called "the garrett."   we had a bowl of split pea soup n' a reuben sandwich.   i wasn't that hungry.

this morn, i had to drive kaela to werk 'gain.   after i dropped her off n' got gas from arco, i went to a post office to send kaela's sister jeanna a coupl'f cds full of software from nelson.   i realised there that i had left my credit card @ kinko's yesterday! ugh! geez, yesterday's attacking me from the grave!!!   if yesterday wasn't bad 'nuff yesterday, yesterday got worse 2day! argh!   well, i called up the bank n' had them issue me a new card etc., etc.   then i went to sportmart to look 4 a pair of cheapie shower sandals.   nothing.   i had planned to hit the gym 2ice 2day: 1nce, while waiting 4 kaela 4 lunch n' 'gain 2nite w/ kaela to swim.   well, i went to the target near the gym n' bought a $2.00 pair of cheapie shower sandals.   then i went to the gym n' did like 20 mins of precor n' like 4 sets of 10 reps of chest press.   u c, i only bore u w/ the details of my werkout cos men's health magazine sez i gotta keep track of my werkouts, so i can improve.   that's very true!   i need to know which weightlifitng exercises i do each doay, so i can alternate, etc.   well, after my supershort werkout, i showered ('specially, since i didn't shower last nite) n' picked up kaela 4 lunch n' to pick up her kia.

we ate lunch @ chinese restaurant called "hand pulled noodles," which doesn't cm to have handpulled noodles. :-/ however, the fud is pretty good.   kaela had jjajangmyuhn/jiajiangmien n' i had jjambbong/chaomamien.   even tho' it was a hot day 4 jjambbong, it's 1 of my favourite dishes (perhaps my favourite), so i had to try theirs out.   well, i dropped off kaela w/ her car.   when i got to campus, i found a great parking space.   as i pulled into the aisle, a gurl who had just parked kindly pted out the spot to me.   it's great when ppl do random nice things, right?

speaking of random nice things: roland, thanks 4 signing my gbook!   w/ more ppl like roland, the world would be a better place! :-)   please be like roland n' sign my gbook!

well, what time is it right now? 315p.   my "finite element analysis" class is in 45 mins.   i've finished the homewerk, but i gotta staple it all 2gether somewhere.   i take great pride in the werk i did on this hw.

[later] 716p: after class/werk, kaela n' i went swimming @ the gym.   'twas a good werkout.   2 mini werkouts 2day, 2 showers...   i drank 'lotta liquid 2day, n' 4tunately no coffee. :-)   well, tea @ lunch, but no coffee.

2002.09.12

i like cold beverages.

319p: here's my werkout yesterday:

• 30 mins of easy lifecycle
• 30 mins of precor
• 5-10 mins of kicking the wavemaster heavy bag
• 3-4 sets of 10-12 lat pull downs
• 3-4 sets of 10-12 pullovers
• 4 sets of 10-12 horizontal squats
• 4 sets of power crunches
• 3-4 sets of reverse situps

u know... i wonder if i shouldn't write out all that junk. :-/ u guys don't care what exercises i do.   as i sed b4, i just need to keep a log 4 myself, n' well... this is an easy way 4 me to do it. *shrug* ugh, well, right now, i'm really stuffed.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i went w/ bernard huang to valley fair n' ate rubio's!   yah, it was good; fish tacos.   however, it was pretty greasy. :-( man, i'm so full.   i had the #5 combo, which is a fish burrito, a fish taco, refried beans n' cheese, n' toritilla chips.   crazy!   valley fair is such a nice mall now that they've rennovated it 'gain.   crazy, huh?   when oakridge goes thru its westfield rennovation, i hope it'll be nice 2.   i doubt it'll ever be as nice as valley fair, but i hope it'll be somewhat close.

so... what's up?   *shrug* lessee where did i leave off rambling 'bout all the junk i do? :-/ yesterday, i went 4 like a 2.5 hr werkout session in the afternoon since i had finished my "control systems design" hw.   b4 that, i had lunch @ togo's w/ kaela.   i drink 'lott'f beverages these days.   i gotta buy lots'f beverages cos i don't wanna drink warm soda etc., right?   *sigh* c, that's 1 of the co$ts of living in the silly valley.   up in east bay mud territory or in sfpud or marin county water district territory, u can get great tap water from drinking fountains, etc.   here in san jo? yah, sometimes when the water from the fountain is well chilled, i don't so much notice the yucky taste, but *sigh* all 2 often i do. :-( i can't depend on free water fountains to keep myself hydrated in this land, which is drier than berkeley or sf. :-( 2days 'go, i bought a bottle of dragon sobe.   the msg under the cap told me to "do [my] homework."   yes, i've been doing my hw, haven't i?   but wow, that msg never has been so appropriate 4 me... 'least not in a long time.

yesterday, @ bally's, i was so glad to find a kicking bag 4 free use in the weight room.   b4 yesterday, i only saw the kicking bags in the kwando room, which is off limits unless u have a personal trainer w/ u.   can u believe kaela n' i have used the bally's gym sooo much already, n' we haven't paid a single cent to them yet?!   the price to join their club is actually pretty good, n' we'll prob'ly join... but it's just so funny that we still haven't joined n' we've been there every single day since last sat, right? right.   sometimes 2ice a day! :-)   i'm glad we're finding exercise, very glad.   i can't stand going w/o exercise!

well, what's life been like?   yah, i've been getting a decent 'mount of exercise n' eating well.   i've had to drive quite a bit; that's just the nature of silly valley.   oh! here's a funny anecdote!!!   on tues, since kaela n' i were both gonna go to the gym to swim, i told her to park her car @ a parking lot n' i'd pick her up, coming from sjsu.   after we swam, i drove us back... but i missed a hwy exit, n' that really frustrated me cos it sent us off on a looong detour.   well, eventually we got back home... but then kaela asked, "where's my car?!"   argh! we totally 4got 'bout picking up her car!   well, on wed morn (the next morn), i drove her back to her car.   what a crazy life, eh?   yah, it's a diff world from berkeley down here in silly valley.   *sigh* in my most proud moments, i'd boast that here we have the best of the bay area n' the best of socal. heh!   my classmate friends, both who have lived in sf, complain that san jo's 2 hot.   2 hot?!   what 'bout sacramento, concord, or san bernardino county?! what 'bout death valley, arizona, or egypt?!   what's the hottest place i've been? hrm... *shrug* i've been to hot, humid places in asia.   also, i've been to hot, dry arizona when i was a li'l kid.   hrm, i dunno which is hotter... prob'ly arizona, on a bad day, right? *shrug* 2day... i'm pretty sad to admit that it's very smoggy in san jo! :-( yah, ok, i'm a li'l ashamed 4 my wonderful hometown... :-( well, up here from the 5th floor of the library, i can c the east hills.   eariler, in the park n' ride lot, i could barely c a southwest airlines jet abovef me.   there, i definitely could not c th east nor west hills! scary! 1 of these days, i've gotta spare the air n' check out santa clara valley's wonderful publik transit system! :-)

somedays, i really worry: what am i gonna do 4 my masters projekt/thesis?!   as i've sed b4, i hope i can do a thesis instead of just a projekt.   we'll c.   my "finite element analysis" class starts in 'bout 20 mins.   it's thurs 2day; 2morrow's fri.   what am i gonna do 2morrow?   well, hopefully, i'll study some, exercise some.   that's what i do every day, right?   am i developing a routine?!   well, edukation n' exercise, those r good things, right?   rn't those ways to make myself a better person?!   well, i believe in exercise, n' now i 'gain believe in edukation.   education n' exercise; academics n' athletics.   train ur brain, train ur body.   isn't it a good plan?

2002.09.13

wouldju like to buy some hype?

1225a: friday the 13th?!   i didn't even notice till just now.   ah, it's fri!   i love fridays! :-)   so it's 1230a now.   yah, thurs was an eventful day n' all.   after class, i drove home thru a li'l bit of traffic n' picked up my swim trunks to go to the gym.   the beautiful kaela kang went straight to the gym from werk cos she wanted to go to a spinning class.   well, i knew i wouldn't make it to the spinning class.   u guys know what spinning is, right?   it's just cycling... but in a group setting.   neway, i didn't c kaela in the gym, but i just hopped on a precor n' did 36 mins of precor.   then i saw kaela. :-) she convinced me to go to an exercise class called "ab lab."   we did 30 mins of ab exercises.   it was very good.   actually, it was the best werkout i've had since we got to san jo, i guess.   we did some stuff that made me feel like i was in competition team werkout in taekwondo, i suppose.   i really pushed myself.   i was wondering if other ppl were feeling as tired as i was.   was i pushing myself 2 hard, or am i just that weak in the abs?!   *sigh* i used to have pretty strong abs.   i realise that i've let myself go 2 much w/ the abs. :-(   after that good werkout, kaela n' i kicked the heavy bag 4 a bit.   yah, i think we both feel a li'l self.conscious being taekwondo weirdos in the middle of the weight room, but eh! it's a rather friendly n' mature environment.   i'll trust that not 2 many ppl'll come up n' ask lame questions or start dumb conversations 'bout what's the ultimate martial art, etc. *roll eyes* well, after that, we signed on as members of the gym.   well, it turned out that if we pay 4 3 yrs up front, it greatly reduces the co$t of membership from what they originally told us.   it was already a decent price, n' it already locked us in 4 3 yrs, so eh! they didn't even pressure us 'bout paying 4 3 yrs.   we just went ahead n' decided we'd rather just pay it all up front instead of paying their 14.9% apr finance charges or whatever.   after we finished all the contract stuff, it was pretty late.   we didn't shower @ the gym. (upes, i almost sed "rsf"!)   we went looking 4 fud n' ended up @ a vietnamese restaurant that's open late.   east san jo has so much vietnamese stuff.   we both ate a very good bowl each of beef soup noodles.   it wasn't pho; it was sumpthin' else.   we also both had 3 colour bean drink.   man, after the werkout, the fud tasted so good!   :-/ man, i've been eating 'lot lately.   better now than when i'm not exercising, right?   it was weird cos, @ dinner, kaela asked me if i thought the fact that we live in the santa clara water district makes us buy more drinks. :-o i hadn't yet posted yesterday's journal entry (please refer to "i like cold beverages", 2002.09.12.)   she tends to read my mind now n' then, u know?   oh well.

well, what's gonna happen 2day?   yah, i dunno.   it's fri.   i do wanna get some studying done; that's 4 sure!   some exercise? sure!   kaela, she has a lunch mtg, so i won't get to lunch w/ her. :-( will some1 have lunch w/ me?   *shrug* maybe i'll just eat lunch @ home or on campus. *shrug* yesterday morn, i grabbed a jamba juice smoothie on my way to campus. *sigh* uh, what's worse? a starbucks habit or a jamba juice habit?   well, geez... if u'r gonna be ripped off on morning beverages, u might as well pick the healthier habit, right?!   speaking of getting ripped off: last nite, i realised i definitely have the most lo.tech, ancient sneakers in the whole gym.   have u cn my gym shoes?   they're a pair of "reebok classics" running shoes i bought in uh... 1994? 1995?   yah, i've been tempted 4 a while to buy a new pair. :-( u c, since my main "sport" is taekwondo, which i usually do barefoot or w/ taekwondo shoes, i haven't really worried much 'bout what gym shoes i wear.   eh! i don't really worry 'bout it 2 much.   it's not that i worry @ all 'bout being kewl w/ kewl shoes, no no no.   it's just i wonder if i need better shoes 4 the sake of having healthy joints, feet, etc.   can u believe i ran the bay to breakers in these shoes?!   ha ha ha.   crazy!   the funny thing is that when i bought these shoes, already they were being sold as a "retro" thing, u know?   now, they're like retro retro! "'member back in the 90s when ppl reminisced 'bout the 80s?" ha ha ha.

well, speaking of fashion trends, please check out this article: "'anti-radiation' trousers fuel mobile phone debate"   dockers.   i don't own a pair of dockers mobile pants.   even tho' i don't wanna go out n' buy those dockers mobile pants, i gotta admit that i like pants w/ extra utility pockets!   i don't necessarily mean just cargo pants; ne pants that have extra utility pockets.   wow, 2day we were in valley fair.   we didn't do ne shopping, of course.   if i'm gonna do ne shopping right now, i think i'd like to go to the gilroy outlets. *shrug*   sure, valley fair is really nice, but i don't feel in that rich mood, u know?

speaking of buying into hype: i am sort'f contemplating buying 1 of those mousing wrist gel pads.   i don't need 'nother mousepad, but i could use that extra hunk of rubber that u put under ur mousing wrist.   dang, i used to have a keyboard wristpad @ my office...   now i don't have 1.   yah, i think my wrists r suffering... but that's just me, buying into all the hype, right? *sigh*

[later] 129a: well, as for hype that i already bought into n' can't buy out of: here's a self.portrait of me in the sjsu mechanical engineering computer lab taken w/ my targus handcam:

a self.portrait on 2002.09.11.   it's not artistic, just not that great of a pic. :-/

[later] 848p: i'm @ the gym, after swimming, waiting 4 kaela to come down from the locker room.   *sigh* 2day really wasn't the greatest day... but i shouldn't whine.   i started the day out w/ washing my car as soon as the sun broke thru the clouds.   it felt great to wash it myself.   it was really fast n' easy.   then i proceeded to wax my car!   ugh! that took 4ever, n' the sun started to beat down on me w/ its carcinogenic rays. :-( *sigh* well, i shouldn't complain cos i've got a nice, shiny car.   then i packed up, planning to study n' hit the gym.   well, kaela told me to bring a sweater to her @ her office, so i made a detour.   since i was starving, i got a large falafel n' large sprite from falafels drive in.   even tho' that place is a pride of san josé, i think eat.a.pita n' bongo burger in berkeley r both actually better.   [later, 1046p] as i sat down 4 lunch, i felt very grateful 4 the fud.   i was so hungry.   after lunch i gent to sjsu to return an extra textbook @ an off.campus textbook store.   then i went to starbucks to study but stopped by sportmart to buy a cheap microfiber t.shirt 4 werkout n' a coupl'f handwraps so that kaela n' i can go to the "kwando strike" class 2morrow morn.

2002.09.15

have more fun

1219p: so life has been so bizzy, n' i haven't had many chances to update my journal. :-( well, i shouldn't say, ":-(." rather, i should say, ":-)," right?   i should be happy that life is full, right? [a li'l later] man, it's 1231p already?! argh! time is flying!!!

lemme quickly blab blab blab 'bout what's happened since uh... fri.   fri, i had a pretty dang hektic day: i washed my car... oh wait! i already toldju this story! ugh, i'm so bizzy these days that i'm so disorganised, eh?   whah?! how can i say that i'm so bizzy?! what am i bizzy w/?! ok, what has happened since fri eve?   well, on fri nite, after werking out @ the gym, the beautiful kaela kang took me out to dinner @ armadillo willy's.   yum yum; it was very tasty, yet of course not very good 4 us; not very healthy.   after dinner, we stopped by blockbuster to pick up the royal tenenbaums.   it was a pretty funny, character.based movie, w/ a pretty fun soundtrack.   sat, we went to the gym to do "kwando strike."   i was the only guy in the class.   i think our single guy friends should come to this class!   the instructor is also a grad student @ sjsu; he's studying education.   after the werkout, we picked up our free bally's fitness vitamin packs, shakes, n' diet bars.   then we went home to shower, eat armadillo willy leftovers, n' rewatch the end of the royal tenenbaums (cos kaela fell asleep).   then we went to the gilroy outlets.   on the way, kaela wanted to stop @ the pw supermarket to pick up a drink.   she got this odwalla carrot.orange.apple juice.   it wasn't very good. :-(   we took the backroads to get to 101s to go to gilroy.   it's a fun backroads route.   ah, it is nice to be so close to nature where we live in san jo.   gilroy: it wasn't such a great time to be shopping.   i guess the back to skool sales, which must've just happened, prob'ly cleared out most'f the good stuff.   it was almost depressing to be 'round so much junk that nobody wanted. :-( well, i looked 4 some athletic shoes, but i'm trying to avoid buying shoes made in communist sweatshops, u know?   all the nike n' adidas crosstrainers were made in china.   after shopping n' lots'f walking, we were really hungry; so we ate dinner @ the fresh choice in the mall.   when we got home, dang! we were so tired, we couldn't go out w/ friends or nething.   am i being antisocial?

this morn, i woke up early n' read some more of fast food nation.   i'm almost done w/ the book, n' i haven't touched it in a while cos i've been bizzy w/ skool n' stuff.   i'm reading 'bout the publik health stuff right now.   after reading, i fell back asleep n' had a bad dream: i dreamt that, while kaela n' i were away in socal, my mom's car n' my car got stolen.   i saw my car was parked w/ 'bout 100 other cars in my neighbours yard.   i used the remote n' determined it was mine.   i told a cop, but he/she wouldn't help me retrieve my car (which was stuck, parked w/ all those other cars in the way) cos he/she sed, "yah, we get that all the time.   ppl think it's their car, but it turns out to be another car."   i was really frustrated.   then i dreamt i actually went to grad skool @ berkeley, not sjsu.   i had attend some admission ceremony, where they recognise u 4 getting admitted; sort'f like graduation, but admission.   i went up to get my certificate... but it wasn't a certificate but a pack of developed film w/ the student's name.   they didn't have mine; they lost it.   it was my old uc berkeley college of engineering student advisor.   the ceremony was in sf.   kaela was there, but she left early or sumpthin'.   then i needed to get home.   i was walking on a street, under a cloudy, grey sky.   some prof was looking 4 jarvis mak, n' i had just cn him a sec 'go.   it was a bizness prof skool, not an engineering prof.   then i tried to get home on bart, but it took me a long time to find the station, n' i had to walk thru a pier 39 area... which wasn't on the waterfront, but in the landlocked middle of the city.   i thought, "i could go to the powell st station, but i know there's a central muni/bart station in the middle of the city."   well, i woke up from my dream b4 i found the bart station.   kaela was gone.   i went downstairs n' found out she had washed her car n' done some other chores.   we ate some goonmandoo (fried potstickers).   we started watching a pbs nature show on sharks, which we had cn b4.   then i left to lighten my hair w/ some hair bleach.   while waiting, i read joon's journal.   cos it's so interesting, i got so caught up in it, that i 4got 'bout my hair!   :-o i waited 2 long n' lightened it 2 much!   argh! now my family's gonna think i moved back to san jo n' wanted to become a dang punk 'gain?! grrr! >:-( *sigh* that's not true!   i just wanted a healthy, wholesome slight lightening.   nuts.   well, i try to tell myself that my hair was 'bout this light back when i went to korea.   i think it might've been almost this light.   i was a werking professional back in those days, not a stoopid, young punk.   *sigh* neway, i'll try not to stress 'bout it n'just live w/ it.   it's just i know my family'll say crap 'bout it. :-(

kaela took this pic of beno.

132p: we're going to the gym now.   i'd like to browse thru the great mall's selection of athletic x.trainer shoes afterwards.   we'll c.

[later] 934p: i'm tired.   i failed to mention that, on fri, after studying @ starbucks n' b4 going to the gym, i got my hair cut @ a local haircutting shop called schroeders.   i used to go there sometimes when i was a kid.   the shop had an old car racing arcade game on freeplay.   the haircut was just ok.

well, 2day, kaela n' went to the gym later than i had planned.   the werkout was sort'f short.   then, after showers, i took kaela to in.n.out 4 a very late lunch.   my "animal style 2xmeat" (double hamburger) tasted sooo good!   then we killed lots'f time @ the great mall.   'member, i'm looking 4 athletic x.trainer shoes that rn't made in china, that rn't white.   silver, grey, or blue r good.   i saw some new balances that fit those criteria, but i dldn't buy them.   they prob'ly needed to be a 0.5 size bigger.   after we left the great mall, we went to the milpitas 99 ranch plaza.   we got boba drinks @ sweetheart n' then bought some groceries @ 99.

2002.09.17

cancelled class

1110p: *sigh* so i'm so behind w/ updating my journal!   crazy.   wait a sec! don't i have a journal entry on my 'puter that i have yet to upload?!   i'd better check when i get on my 'puter.   i'm typing on my handspring right now.   man... where do i start updating?!   2day is tues.   did i talk 'bout mon?!   well, lemme talk 'bout 2day.

i went to skool in the morn, did some hw, then went to lunch w/ the beautiful kaela kang @ seoul gomtang on el camino.   we had naengmyuhn.   it was really good! :-) then i went to skool to finish my hw in the library.   when it was time 4 class, i found out that my class was cancelled 2day.   i went straight to the gym... not our usual location, but 'nother location on hamilton ave.   i did 30 mins of precor, n' then went to a kwando class.   kaela joined me there.   after the kwando class, we lifted.  . i felt like i got a very good werkout.   after i showered, i joined kaela @ rite.aid, where she was buying some things.   then we went to safeway to buy some groceries.   we drove home in our respektive cars (since i came from skool, n' kaela came from werk) down some streets that brought back many memories from my childhood, u know?  . yah, that's how it is living in san jo 'gain 4 me.   when we got home, my mom had some good fud 4 us.   i was glad to eat some beef cos i figure i should eat more protein cos i'm werking out n' all.

2002.09.18

just add h2o

200p: i was on campus, doing my hw just now.   now, i think i'm gonna go to the gym n' maybe swim 4 a bit.   i'm on the campus shuttle that'll eventually drop me off @ the park n' ride lot.   2day's been sort'f frustrating.   maybe i'm just not in a superhappy mood.   2day's wed.   2morrow's thurs.   no class on fri.   when oktober gets here, i'll have midterms.   that makes me nervous.

[later] 522p: my engineering analysis class starts soon.   the swim really made me feel better.   i can swim 1 lap (across n' back) in ~1 min freestyle.   4 back stroke n' breast stroke, it takes me ~1 min 15 sec.   i like swimming, yes.   i miss taekwondo.   hopefully, on fri, we'll check out a taekwondo skool.   i hope so.

2002.09.19

aircon

120a: i'm so sleepy n' pi$$ed 'bout the painfully slow 28.8 modem connection.   this ain't no way to live!   130a: r new balance mx890s good shoes?   how 'bout new balance mx1004nb?

[later] 235p: yesterday evening, after class, i came home n' cooked jjajangmyuhn.   time flies in the evenings.   this morn, i woke up early, i went to the gym n' had a decent werkout.   then i came home n' got lunch ready.   i prepared some jjajangmyuhn n' brought it to the beautiful kaela kang's werk.   we ate in the lunchroom.   then i drove to campus.   i'm here, waiting to talk to a prof.   while sittin' here writing, i noticed in the spartan daily an ad 4 a new boba place near campus.   it opens 2day.   kewl.   it's buy 1 boba tea, get 1 free these 1st 3 days.   well, we'll c if i get a chance to go there.

yesterday, after my swim i had on.campus burger king 4 a late, late lunch; just b4 class.   [later] 306p: i talked to my prof 'bout the questions i had.   now, i'm in the sjsu clark library 4 a 'puter in its 'puter lab.

[later] 1018p: earlier, when i was driving from campus to the gym, i thought 'bout how i use aircon so much more now that i've moved back to san jo.   back in berkeley, i rarely turned on the aircon in my car.   well, after class 2day, i went swimming.   2day, i swam freestyle laps in 50 secs, backstroke laps in 1 min 5 secs, n' breastroke laps in 1 min 10 secs.   well, i dunno if i'm gonna get ne faster than that netime soon.   how fast do olympic swimmers swim?   kaela sed they swim much faster than that.   would they do a freestyle lap in 30 secs?   well, i was pretty surprised yesterday that i did a freestyle lap in 1 min.   b4, i thought i was taking like 2 mins. *shrug* i think i swim like 15-20 laps each time i go swimming... maybe a li'l more.   after swimming, i got a blueberry smoothie from the proshop n' then went to barnes & nobles to search 4 this engineering math book i need.   nope, they didn't have it.

when i got home, i ordered a round table mama zella pizza 4 dinner.   crazy, huh?   yah... all this werking out, but i occasionally eat like a pig.   pizza n' asahi biiru.   well, as long as i keep it an occasional thing, it should be ok, right? [later, 1051p] the owner of the round table pizza was nice cos he gave me a discount on my pizza even tho' i didn't have a coupon.   i like it when bizness owners do stuff like that! :-)   while driving to the round table pizza, i realised it was "back-to-school night" at my old hi skool.

[later] 1108p: am i gonna find some gym shoes? *shrug* how 'bout these new balance mx662nv? [later] 1133p: well, sorry 4 talking so much 'bout shoes. :-( neway... i know i sed i'm getting out of the whole consumerist thing.   *sigh* well, when u get a chance, be sure to sign my gbook b4 i change the questions 'gain!   thanks.

2002.09.21

32nd monthversary

1221p: :-) yesterday was the beautiful kaela kang's n' my 32nd monthversary! :-) well, i have much to talk 'bout.   i dunno if u wanna hear it. *shrug* man... where did i leave off?   oh, i left off talkin' 'bout that mama zella round table pizza n' those shoes i want. :-/

well, yesterday was fri.   i got up, ate some leftover pizza, n' went to skool.   i went to the library n' studied 4 a bit.   then i went to the gym n' did cardio n' weights.   *sigh* i should keep track of what weights i did, but *sigh* maybe i'm getting lazy. :-(   then i went home to get my taekwondobok n' change my underpants, since i showered @ the gym but 4got replacement underpants.   i got a ups delivery 4 kaela.   i brought it w/ me as i left.   it was mid.afternoon by now.   kaela n' i had plans @ 700p to meet up w/ mark lee n' brian chung (4mer cal taekwondo guys) n' visit u.s. taekwondo academy, run by master shim, who is yoonsabuhmnim's friend.   i was very hyped to go to this skool, since master yoon told us to start going there, since we were leaving the berkeley area 4 the so bay.   well, i went to check out the skool's location on fremont ave in sunnyvale.   it was a good thing i scouted out the location in the late afternoon b4 our planned mtg time cos it wasn't where i expected but in a kind'f confusing location 4 me.

the whole afternoon, i tried to call kaela's cellfon but she didn't answer.   i was so worried! :-( i gotta be honest w/ u.   ever since we moved down to san jo, i get so nervous when i can't reach kaela. :-( i worry that sumpthin' bad happened, that she got lost in this new environment, etc. :-( i worry so much, but i know i shouldn't.

well, after i found the taekwondo skool, i went 2wards kaela's werk, but i stopped @ the wolfe rd. 99 (ranch) mall to get a boba drink from q.cup.   i told the gurl i wanted a lychee milk tea w/ pearls.   n' she repeated back to me, "pearl milk tea."   i sed, "no, uh... lychee milk tea w/ pearls."   then she repeated back to me, "milk tea w/ pearls."   well, i just sort'f hoped she had actually correctly repeated back to me "lychee milk tea," but my order arrived as normal "milk tea w/ pearls." *sigh* it was ok.   then i went to valley fair to kill time, waiting to hear back from kaela.   i looked 4 the shoes i want.   i found them @ nordstroms, but not in the right colour.   here's a pic of the shoes:

(click to c a big pic.) well, i strolled 'round the mall 4 a bit n' then i tried to call kaela's office fon.   yup, she was in her office.   i left the mall to get her from her office, so we could carpool to the taekwondo skool.   since we were early, we 1st went back to the wolfe 99 mall to get kaela a boba drink from fantasia.   i got her a very tasty frosted mango boba. mmm.   actually, i opened the ups package w/ her b4 we went into the café. it was her monthversary / "congratulations 4 getting into grad skoool" present to me, the timx helix wrk watch that i've been admiring:

(click to c a big pic.) i really like it!   it's a digital watch, compass, thermometer, barometer, n' altimeter; all in 1! :-)

well, we went to u.s. taekwondo academy.   since we didn't c mark or brian, when we 1st got there, we sat in the car, watching li'l kids werkout.   then brian n' mark showed up @ the same time.   we went in.   they introduced us to master shim.   then we changed n' stretched, etc.   then we attended the werkout.   it was actually the kids' demo team werkout!   whaddya know?! ha ha ha :-D i mean, it was pretty neat to go to a demo team werkout since demo taekwondo's what i've been specialising in 4 the past few yrs, right?   i mean, i definitely wanna werk on my basics n' sparring... but well... having been the demo team captain 4 the past few yrs, i sort'f had to focus on demo taekwondo, right?   it was fun to werkout w/ the kids.   man! they jump, fall on their butts n' faces, n' get right back up!!!   they're like rubber!   master shim is really nice!   he doesn't push the kids 2 hard but is very encouraging n' helpful.   my legs were killing me!   maybe i was trying 2 hard.   after the werkout, we stopped by mark's place to pick up his gf.   ha ha ha! it's sooo kewl! mark n' his gf r also living @ mark's parents place! ha ha ha, that makes kaela n' i feel a li'l less weird, eh?   well, we tried to go to point (the korean hof w/ the satoori speaking waitresses).   i wanted to go cos peter (peter park, of bronx's junkyard sed he gave them my mix cd n' that they play it all the time.   well, it was 2 crowded, full of middle.aged men, including men from mark's church, which made him feel weird; so we thought of alternatives.   we ended up picking up kaela's car n' heading to 'nother korean hof called woodham deli on stevens creek blvd.   it was a pretty neat place.   we had dinner n' a li'l bit of peach soju.   when we were done, i tried to get up, but my legs were sooo sore n' stiff!!!   ppl @ other tables, prob'ly thought i was drunk or sumpthin'. :-(   i wasn't, just really stiff!   well, kaela n' i drove home, but there was this big fiasco!   u c, kaela drove off b4 me cos i was talking to brian n' giving him my mix cd.   as i was driving down stevens creek, i saw a red kia sportage take a left onto saratoga ave, so i called up kaela to ask if she had turned left on saratoga.   u c, that would mean she was going in the complete opposite direction of home.   well, this led to a big, big mess that sent us on a 1 hr detour.   to sum it up, that wasn't her in the red kia sportage, n' she had not taken a left on saratoga, but i ended up misguiding her all over santa clara, san josé, n' sunnyvale.   i ended up driving out to fetch her from el camino n' then had her follow me home. :-(   it was such a mess.   c? i panic 2 much.

well, this morn, i woke up sooo dang sore still.   we were planning to swim 2day, but now i don't think we will.   ever since we started going to the gym, kaela hasn't missed a single day of werking out till 2day.   well, 4 both of us, i hope we keep it up!   i'm very happy 'bout our werkout routines! very happy!!!   well, maybe we can rest 2day.

2002.09.22

entry 20020922

140p: i'm so groggy 2day.   i feel like i never qute woke up. :-(   yesterday, 4 our 32nd monthversary, i took the beautiful kaela kang to a restaurant called the fish market 4 lunch.   then we went to pick up my wedding band from lundstrom's.   we shopped a li'l in oakridge mall.   there were many good deals.

in the evening, grace, steve, n' mason came over 4 the moon festival feast.   my mom'd bought a whole bunch'f chinese fud from a restaurant n' brought it home.   we were so stuffed.   we watched the miss america pageant on abc.

this morn, kaela n' i had a fiasco w/ her handspring.   she's trying to switch over to her new palm m505, but we messed up n' erased a bunch'f data. :-( then we met up w/ my mom @ costco.

[later] 344p: (after swimming n' showering) i have never had code red, red fusion, or pepsi blue.   we swam this afternoon, but i didn't have a very good session.   i was slow; slower than usual.   i wanna be better.   my sluggishness discouraged me, but i know i gotta keep @ it.

[later] 901p: after swimming, i drove us all the way to the wolfe rd 99 to get frosted fruit boba drinks from fantasia.   i really like those! :-) *sigh* yah, the bad thing 'bout living in the almaden valley of san josé is that we're so dang secluded n' far 'way from all important things. :-( sure, it's a nice peaceful, well.off community... but there isn't much in this side of town.   well, 'least down here we've got local freeways, unlike up in berkeley, so it's easier to get from "here" to "there" n' back.   after drinking our boba drinks n' looking @ fair share of fuzzies n' bunnies, we went home to eat pizza leftovers n' salad w/ grilled onions n' portabello shrooms.

man, i'm really stressed out right now cos i know i've gotta overhaul my 'puter... u c, 4 a while now, my sound forge program hasn't been werking, n' i think i need to do a fresh install of windows to get it back werking right.   i have so much data to back up from my hard drive b4 doing this.... mostly mp3s.   n' i know that having a slow internet connection isn't gonna make this ne more fun. :-( it won't be fun.   not having a real internet connection is making me feel very disconnected from the world.   i don't like it.   @ the same time... i do hafta admit that i sometimes wonder if i'm getting more stuff done in life cos i don't spend as much time online. :-/ u know, the bronx's junkyard forums r back up.   yah, i've been hanging out there a li'l, but i'm often feeling disappointed that more older guys (older, as in old like me) don't join in.   *sigh*

well, 2day i got an e.mail from this dude that's the son of the owners of koko house.   he sed he likes my cd, that they play it @ their restaurant, n' he'd like more.   well... yah, w/o having my 'puter in good werking order, i haven't werked a bit on my djing stuff since i got to san jo.   to put it dramatically, it's like a part of me died.   ha ha! i should've sed, "to put it overdramatically."   well... shoot! every1 has their opinions 'bout what i should do w/ my life... (uh... heh! that was 'bout the most egocentric thing i could say, but ok... go on...) but u know... there r also my own ideas 'bout what i wanna do in life, right?   n' yah; i don't want to ditch djing, no.   i wanna keep @ it.   *sigh* my life... i want to whine that it's so dang complicated, but u don't wanna listen to me.   u just want to scold me.   every1 just wants to give me a stern lecture.   every1 just wants to yell @ me, "geez! why do u think every1 wants to yell @'chu?!  . u'r so dang egocentric."  . do i dare disturb the universe?

all i ever do in this journal is whine, whine, whine.   who the heck reads this junk?!   well, as i do wanna change those gbook questions soon, please sign the current version of my gbook now, if u haven't already! :-) listen! it's not cos i'm a leo egotist; it's cos i wanna get to know my readers better n' also have my readers know each other a li'l. :-)

have u ever noticed that many magazines just have articles that tell u that u can't live w/o buying this n' that?!   isn't that awful?!   'puter magazines r like that,   mens' fashion magazines r like that.   mens' fitness n' health magazines r like that.   "popular" science magazines r like that.   bridal magazines r like that.   the beno journal?   yah, as i sed b4, sometimes i disgust myself w/ my consumerism, n' i hate how i end up going on n' on 'bout material goods etc. :-( neway... why am i bagging so hard on my own journal 2day? geez! lay off it, will u? >:-(   maybe it's cos i swam so lousy 2day. :-( 'puter probs suck 2.   well, i could focus on the negatives... but *sigh* i should let my journal writing be therapeutic n' start focusing on the positive! :-)

ok, new paragraph.   let's discuss happy things?   well... it's cooler downstairs than it is upstairs... n' i'm downstairs right now typing on my handspring on the "kitchen" table, which is in a room that isn't necessarily the kitchen cos i've always considered it a separate room n' maybe called it "the eating area" or sumpthin'.   ok, what else is positive? well, i don't like bugs... they r a negative thing.   i won't talk 'bout bugs.   well, i'm definitely glad that we got to practice taekwondo on fri, n' i'm overly ecstatic that it looks like we've found our new taekwondo skool. :-) i'm very happy 'bout that.   i wish u'd understand.   :-/ life, life, life... how'm i gonna focus on the positives in this paragraph when i keep letting myself think 'bout 'puter probs, car probs, n' $$$ probs?! :-( yah... i wish i had it all figured out!   i sure do.   but i don't!   :-(

ok, looks like somebody wants a 2nd chance @ writing a positive paragraph!!! smile!   be happy!   think happy thoughts! *sigh* what makes me happy? animals make me happy.   i like burdies n' doggies.   but i don't have either... n' i, of course, worry if i'd have the time to take care of them if i did. :-( i'm not feeling that happy. :-( *sigh* in some ways it's been a dang ruff weekend...   however, i'm just being a wimpy whiner cos how can a weekend full of playing n' eating be a ruff weekend?!   well, shoot... i do have lots'f stresses in life!   lemme remindju that moving to san jo n' going back to grad skool didn't necessarily resolve all my 0.25 life crisis issues... altho' i know these "issues" r just my whinings.

what would make u happy, beno?! what?   or do u just want to sit here by urself n' feel sorry 4 urself?!   is that it?!   i wish it weren't so hot upstairs.   i sort'f wish it weren't sun nite cos sun nite is the end of the weekend.   'least i don't have ne hw due 2morrow.   my legs have been really sore all weekend from doing taekwondo on fri nite, but maybe i can do a li'l upper body weightlifting 2morrow? *shrug* maybe.   well, i'll study 2morrow.   exercise n' studying r 2 things i really value.   i also like musik n' always have.   i brought in my cd "wallet," (which is more a hard metal cased box), from my car so that i can change the cds to diff cds.   i do wish i had some newer cds.   since i don't have a real internet connection, i can't really dl mp3s.

right now the emmy awards r on.   when it 1st began 2nite, i thought i'd enjoy it cos conan o'brien's being a pretty funny host.   however, since the west wing n' sex in the city r winning so many awards, i lost interest.   the west wing never interested me cos it's just 'nother show that glorifies politicians, while there r never 'nuff shows that make engineers look like decent ppl.   i don't watch sex in the city cos i have neither cable nor dish.   well... i used to have dish... but that didn't quite werk out 4 long.   if u've read my journal 4 a li'l while, then u know my opinions 'bout tv.   *yawn* oh, no... i didn't mean to imply nething w/ that yawn.   i actually just yawned right now in rl (real life).

2day is september 22.   uhm, it's the 1st day of fall, huh?   i'm doing ok in skool so far.   however, i haven't had ne midterms yet, just hw.   my midterms start as soon as oktober starts.   my "engineering analysis" prof wants us students to buy a whole bunch'f books.   *sigh* i should, but i'm starting to get stingy w/ $$$, if u didn't know.   i spent 'lott'f $$$ on textbooks already... n' i bought some textbooks that i didn't need, control system design textbooks.   i wish i had known that i wouldn't have needed them. :-( now, if i were to return them, it'd be a big mess cos ('member?) i lost my credit card!   i bought these books online.   what would they do? give me store credit? refuse the return?   well, i convinced myself that these books r worth keeping just 4 future educational purposes.   however, i have a hard time convincing myself that i can spend ne more $$$ on books.   *sigh* i'm not making ne $$$ right now!!!   it's awful, awful feeling.   i know it's my own $#@$% fault cos i spend all my extra time exercising etc., but that's important to me 2.   *sigh* c? that's the inner conflict in me... well, that's much of the inner conflict in me.   "u can't have it all, kid," is what i gotta tell myself.   "just deal w/ it!"

don'tchu dare think 4 a 2nd i don't think 'bout my priorities in life.   i think very hard 'bout them, n' yes, i stress out 'bout life quite a bit.   no, i'm not special cos'f that.   all 20sumpthin' yr olds stress hard 'bout this, i'm sure.   yah, i'm sure.   how do i go 'bout motivating n' encouraging myself?   hrm, maybe i gotta type that into an "ask jeeves" search box.   i've just felt so negative lately. :-( uh... what's "lately"?! 4 the past few hrs? the past few days?!   yah, i'm not sure.   i guess i've been feeling negative 4 as long as i've let myself focus on the negative things in my life.

u know my theory.   i've told it so many times, n' u guys r so dang tired of hearing 'bout it.   well, here i go 'gain: there's no such thing as good or bad luck.   when u choose to focus on the positive things in life, u experience good luck.   when u choose to focus on the negative things in life, u experience bad luck.   by saying this. i'm no wise man.   i'm sure many ppl b4 me have sed this.   however, ppl all 'round me n' myself always ignore this idea.

2002.09.23

1st mon of fall 2002

428p: 2day was not a good day. :-( it's been a really frustrating day.   in a way, my day hasn't even started yet cos my 1st class starts in 1 hr.   my dad told me he'd help me pay 4 the extra textbooks.   i'm grateful 4 that.   i'm @ the sjsu library's 'puting lab, trying to order the books online, but the dang 'puters here have their net security turned up so high that i can't do online purchases. :-( i'm just whining.   this morn, the beautiful kaela kang told me she has a mtg 2morrow morn in berkeley, so she's driving up 2nite n' staying there.   i thought i would've gotten to go to berkeley plenty in the past few weeks, but i haven't been back since the day i met up w/ fahad n' vince.   i do miss friends up there.

[a li'l later] 457p: yesterday n' 2day, i haven't been in the mood to think'f nice names 4 my journal entries.   i just now quickly made up a mediocre name to avoid using "entry 20020923" or nething like that.

2002.09.24

uvas canyon fire

602p: this morn, i woke up late but much happier than yesterday 4 no known reason.   i saw jackie chan on live w/ regis n' kelly.   i ate a couple'f slices'f toasted apple.raisin bread.   i went to the shoe pavilion just to try on some new balance shoes (not to buy) cos i'll prob'ly hafta order my shoes online.   then i stopped by sportmart to return a pair of handwraps.   then i went to the gym 4 a superquick werkout; superquick!   i didn't shower cos they didn't have ne hot h2o.

[later] 1045p: last nite, after class, i went to the bascom towe records.   i bought a cd: dj chris cox's provocative trance mix cd.   i sort'f bought to cheer myself up.   that's bad, but i figured it's not as bad as buying a pair of overpriced athletic shoes or elektronic gadget just to cheer myself up.   last nite, kaela n' i ate dinner @ the "hand pulled noodles" restaurant on capitol.   it was really good.

as i sed earlier in this nonchronological journal entry, i woke up in a better mood this morn.   in the early afternoon, i went to lunch w/ bernard huang @ a vietnamese restaurant near campus.   it was very good, n' i was glad to chat w/ bernard.   then i found a garage parking spot, n' we hit the library.

2nite, kaela n' i went to taekwondo.   it was fun.   it's such a fun atmosphere here!   after taekwondo n' some loitering, kaela n' i got boba drinks from fantasia.   on the way home, i stopped @ a j.box to use the bathroom cos i had a stomach ache.   kaela bought some eggrolls.   when we got home we ate more.   on our way home, we could c the eerily glowing smoke from the infamous uvas canyon fire.   it's amazing!

2002.09.26

smells like a bonfire

1133a: i'm waiting 4 the beautiful kaela kang outside here office.   we'll go eat lunch.   [later] 1243p: we went to yiasoo on bascom 4 lunch.   yiasoo's so kewl.   we had gyros.   this morn i drove kaela to werk n' then werked out @ bally's on hamilton n' meridian.   i met up w/ kaela 4 lunch, n' she took my car 4 the afternoon.   right now, i'm in the sjsu library's 'puting lab.   [later] 246p: now i'm on the 5th floor of the library.   i was looking @ a math book.   i have over an hr till my "finite element analysis" class, my last class of the week.   2day, we're mtg in lab instead of the class room.   we'll be werking w/ pro/mechanica.   that's a engineering design software program.   2nite, kaela n' i'll go to taekwondo 'gain.   i guess we'll be going every tues n' thurs nite, 4 the most part.   however, if i miss a class here n' there, i won't feel as bad as i did back @ ucmap, i hope.   i really just wanna relax n' have fun.   next tues, i'll miss taekwondo 4 dave's wedding rehearsal up in berkeley.

well, how was yesterday?   i didn't really talk 'bout yesterday or update yesterday, huh?   well, 1st, i'd like to thank the ppl who recently signed my gbook!!!   thanks, jerome!   thanks, mirei antonia!   yes, i like it when ppl sign my gbook! :-)   k, so how was wed?   wed, i werked on my "control systems design" hw in the morn on campus.   then i went to lunch w/ kaela @ geumbonghwang (golden phoenix) chinese restaurant on winchester.   i had jjambbong (chaomamien), n' kaela had some szechuan scallops.   we were very stuffed.   then i went back to kaela's office n' continued my hw in the afternoon @ her cubicle desk, while she went to a mtg.   the mtg actually had fud, but she didn't know that b4 we went to lunch.   'round 330p, i left her office to meet up w/ some classmates to talk 'bout the hw.   we ended up going to c the prof.   i really wanna do well in skool.   i went to class.   after class, i went home n' steamed some kimchi mandoo 4 dinner.   kaela n' i both passed out earlier in the nite than usual.   i stayed 'wake long 'nuff to watch the 1100p simpsons, but kaela passed out during it.   it was the "li'l lisa's slurry" episode.   b4 we started watching the simpsons we watched "the in-laws" from tues, which we accidentally taped.   it really amuses us cos we live in a similar situation, a young couple living w/ 1 member of the couple's parent(s).   funny.   perhaps it's sumpthin' that happens more often these days.

in "american" culture, it's considered kind'f shameful n' pathetic to live w/ ur parents past the age of... i dunno... like 20 or so.   "american" culture expects u to "leave the nest," etc., no matter how unpractical it is.   it's much more acceptable in asian culture n' maybe latino culture to have multigenerational housing.   u know, i do have some issues w/ "moving back home" to san jo.   while i was living in berkeley, i lived in a world/life that i had created 4 myself.   i was more often reminded of all my accomplishments n' achievements, what kind of life i had made 4 myself.   now that i live in san jo, it's easier 4 me to believe none of that happened; that i never accomplished nething; that i never left home, went to college, werked in the industry, etc.   i'm "right back where i started."   i'm a kid 'gain.   yah, that's the depressing side of moving back to san jo.   all the things i used to be that i no longer am, that i grew out of; now, i can be reminded of them.   i definitely'd like to believe i'm a better person now than i was 10 yrs 'go.   i'd like to think i'm a smarter person now than i was 10 yrs 'go, that i'm a more accomplished person than i was 120 yrs 'go.   10 yrs 'go, i was a pretty dang fat kid, u know.   i was decently studious, n' there4, i guess i was decently smart... 4 a kid my age (@ the time).   10 yrs 'go, i was very involved w/ musik.   i was not athletic.   i was actively playing 4 instruments (piano, clarinet, bassoon, n' guitar), but i didn't do taekwondo just yet, n' i barely had started snowboarding.   am i a better person now?   i'd like to think so.   someday, will i look back on my life in the recent yrs n' say that i'm a better person than i am now?   *shrug* i s'ppose if i don't, then i'm over the hill; or i've 'least "plateaued." *shrug*

am i a better person now than i was in college?   now i'm a more studious person than i was in college.   a few months ago, i sure wasn't.   in college, i was a more spiritual person.   maybe that's a shame that i'm not as spiritual as i used to be. :-/ or maybe it's ok? *shrug* well, it's 'least nice to think 'bout life, right?   whether u practice a religion or not, it's good to think 'bout the meanings of life, etc.   u shouldn't just run on autopilot.   hrm, in many ways, tho', i was a more "spiritual" person in college.   oh well.

4 me, college (that is, undergrad) was quite a while 'go.   i graduated in 1998.   am i a better person now than i was 3 yrs 'go?   'member 3 yrs 'go?   that was when i was werkin' @ my teknoboom job in sf, hangin' w/ the cal taekwondo p. crew every nite, snowboarding plenty, clubbing, being a young single guy in his 20s.   well... how much has changed since then?   uh, well, i now live in san jo.   i sure don't do so much "partying" as i did back then.   i think i get more sleep now.   yes, i'm sure i do.   i obviously am not a single guy nemore, altho' i'm still in my 20s 4 a li'l while longer.   i still plan to go snowboarding plenty, n' i still plan to do taekwondo plenty, altho' maybe not quite as much as i did back in those days. *shrug* however, i do want to compensate 4 that w/ plenty of other athletic activities such as my gym werkouts, right?   yup.   now that i reflect on the past few yrs, i really gotta say that i've been thru quite a bit just in these recent yrs.   i spent 1993 - 1998 in college, 5 yrs (including my co.op internship).   i spent 1999, 2000, n' 2001 as a werking career guy.   now in 2002, i'm a grad student.   *sigh* what a crazy life!   u know going thru the teknoboom n' teknobust as a yuppie was a very good experience 4 me... i think.   it sort'f taught me the value of $$$, i guess... in a way...   maybe i could say, it taught me how much $$$ is worth n' how much $$$ is not worth.   well... neway, many ppl of my generation went 'long 4 this ride w/ me.   we're the 1s w/ the big 0.25 life crises to deal w/ right now.   am i dealing ok? *shrug* i just wanna be a good student who'll study on the 5th floor of the library w/o being distracted by typing up his stoopid online journal on his handspring. :-/

[later] 349p: this morn, the sky was full of clouds n' smoke from the uvas canyon fire.   we could barely c nething!

[later] 1053p: so after my class, kaela came n' picked me up.   she had gone wedding dress browsing w/ grace (ken's fiancée).   we went to valley fair to kill time b4 our taekwondo practice.   we went to br (banana republic).   man, it's such a nice br!   geez, valley fair is such a nice mall!   it's almost rivalling union square as the bay area's fashion central. :-/   ok... if this were a tv show, a sterotypical flamingly gay guy would be saying "don't go there!" right 'bout now. (by "don't go there," he wouldn't be meaning it literally but rather sumpthin' to the effect of "don't try to argue ur point."   that's beno's american english idiom lesson 4 2day.)   well, not only does valley fair have a giant (flagship?) br, it has a club monaco n' an armani exchange.   geez! it's so ritzy now, eh?   oh, n' of course the kenneth cole store's a favourite of mine.   neway, even tho' i saw some good deals, i didn't buy nething cos i told myself not to be materialistic. :-) ha ha.

taekwondo practice was fun.   it's a small skool, a small group of students of varying ages, i guess.   kaela n' i go to the "adult" black belt class.   however, some of the students rn't adults but teenagers, n' some rn't quite black belts.   on the way home, we grabbed some taco bell 4 a small dinner.   u know, i really haven't had much appetite lately!   i've just been sort'f forcing myself to eat. :-(

oh, btw, 2day is liane's b.day!   happy b.day, liane!   liane used to read my journal pretty regularly, but i know she's gotten pretty bizzy w/ her grad skool n' werk; so i 4give her 4 not reading it so much nemore! :-)

2002.09.29

fusion confusion

1251a: 1nce 'gain, i don't even know where to start this journal entry.   where do i resume?!   fri?!   fri, i went to the gym in the morn n' had a great werkout.   i went to lunch w/ the beautiful kaela kang.   she took me to cpk (california pizza kitchen) in valley fair.   we had a bbq chicken salad n' a wild shroom pizza.   in the afternoon, i helped grace n' steve w/ a 'puter.   i gave 'em the old 'puter that i had originally given to kaela when we 1st got 2gether, since she already got a new 1.   it's a great 'puter, an amd athlon 500mhz.   it's a slot.a chip.   that's rare.   it was fun to c my nephew mason. :-)   i went w/ steve to fry's electronics to buy some parts we needed.   it was fun to be @ fry's 'mongst all the teknogeek stuff! :-)   i put 2gether the 'puter, but i 4got the software.   we ate thai fud 4 dinner.   kaela n' i stopped by blockbuster on the way home to rent amelie n' pane e tulipani.   we watched pane e tulipani but have yet to watch amelie.

sat morn, we hurried to the gym 4 kwando strike class, but it apparently was cancelled.   we werked out.   i had a great werkout.   *sigh* i wonder if my werking out shows @ all. :-( *shrug* on fri nite, i weighed myself n' measured my fat content.   i'm heavier n' fatter. :-(   yah, all last week; i didn't have much appetite, but i 4ced myself to eat just cos other ppl were eating, etc.   well, there were some times when i had some appetite. *shrug*   after the gym, we drove out to tri.city sporting goods store in fremont.   man, i 4get that this is such a good sproting goods store!   kaela went in to look 4 a yoga mat, but we stuck 'round to look @ all the beautiful new snowboarding equipment.   me, i don't need a new board, of course.   kaela's looking 4 new boots cos her current boots totally mess up her feet.   what is this, my 10th season of snowboarding?   well, my 1st seasons were not very big seasons.   after tri.city, i drove back to almaden cos kaela wanted proof that almaden has big mansions.   she saw some big houses in fremont on our way back from tri.city, n' i kept telling her that almaden has big houses 2.   on our way back to almaden, we went to the santa teresa blvd in.n.out burger to get a 2x2 (double.double) n' a large coke.   that was the 1st time we had gone thru an in.n.out drive.thru n' my 1st time @ this in.n.out, which is the closest 1 to our house.   i drove her 'round almaden a li'l.   she saw what i meant.

then we drove up to meet up w/ ken n' grace.   ken drove us up to stanfurd to meet up w/ nelson n' others.   nelson organised a belated b.day dinner 4 me n' kaela.   n' then we also wanted to do sumpthin' to comemorate his b.day, which was more recent neway.   we went to bamboo on emerson, near university ave.   it was a pretty good asian.fusion joint.   we had a big group: nelson, mike, mike's gf vivian, nelson's sister schelly, schelly's friend melinda, ken, grace, will, will's gf alice, nelson's friend susan, susan's fiancé craig, kaela, n' me.   nelson n' ken... heh, these guys... they got me a great b.day present: the creative labs muvo 128mb usb portable hard drive mp3 player. :-)   it's 'bout the size of a small key chain, n' it stores files n' werks as an mp3 player!   crazy, i had just cn it 4 the 1st time on fri @ fry's.   nelson n' mike also got kaela a nice pottery barn candle n' candleholder set.   we had a good dinner; it was fun.

on thurs, when kaela came back from berkeley, she brought back b.day gifts that roland gave us.   he got us each a set of bridal mashimaro dolls. :-) he also gave us 2 vcds from korea: the talented mr. ripley n' american beauty.  thanks, roland.

"orimonde": thanks 4 signing my gbook!

2002.09.30

speed limit

343p: i'm in the sjsu library 'puter lab right now.   i had a very produktive day 2day, i gotta say. :-) i woke up early, or what i used to call "on time," when the beautiful kaela kang was leaving to werk.   i put the laundry out to dry n' went to the gym to werkout 4 ~1.5 hrs.   i did 30 mins of good precor n' then lifted weights.   i listened to musik on the muvo mp3 player that ken n' nelson gave me.   u know, i got mp3 players 4 my b.day 2 yrs in a row. ha ha.   will i totally shelve/abandon the soundsgood springboard module (made by good technology)?   no, it's a really good produkt!   it has 64 mb, while my new muvo has 128.   the soundsgood module can be used w/ the old handpspring handhelds as well as on its own in the power module, which my friends also gave me last yr.   the advantage that the soundsgood has over the muvo is that when i use the soundsgood w/ my visor edge, i can have a lcd graphical interface, sound equalization, n' better control of the playlist.   the muvo, its advantage is the 128 mb of space n' its supersmall size!   it's also meant to be used as a usb keychain hard drive thingy.   neway, i know... i'm going into teknogeek land here w/ all these specs etc.   ok, after my werkout, i had to take a cold shower @ the gym cos they didn't have ne hot h2o. :-(   yah, their h2o heater often breaks. *sigh* it was a bit annoying to take a completely cold shower, but oh well.   i like to feel clean after werking out.   kaela always asks me why i prefer to take showers @ the gym instead of going home to shower.   yah, 1) i wanna feel clean after werking out; 2) i like to save my mom a few cents on her monthly h2o bill; n' 3) when there's hot h2o, i like to give my muscles some hot h2o after werking out, so they won't be so sore n' stiff. :-/   well, after the werkout, i quickly went home.   i got fud ready to bring to kaela 4 lunch.   however, i thought the rice was 2 dry; so i used it to make fried rice.   i did everything really quickly.   then i rushed off to kaela's werk.   we ate there.   then i went to guitar showcase to reserve the pro audio equipment 4 dave's wedding this sat.   kaela n' i r going to his rehearsal on tues nite.   oh yah, that's 2morrow nite.   i know dave n' emily have quite a bit on their minds right now, since their wedding is just a few days 'way.   after reserving the audio equipment, i came to campus to study.   well, i should stop writing here n' get back to studying.

oh yah, why did i title this entry "speed limit"?   i was just thinking how i kept cing cop cars 2day on the road when i was trying to get from here to there as efficiently as possible.   well, yah; i surely don't want a speeding ticket or nething!   i noticed 1 cop car was a san josé unified school district police car.   their logo doesn't look as official as the san josé city police dept's logo.   sjpd's logo is a nice, fancy badge.   berkeley pd's logo is a really plain looking badge.   i always joked that the plain logo just goes to show that the city of berkeley doesn't spend much on their law en4cement. ha ha.   the ucpd logo looks much more official!   i don't like police dept logo's like milpitas police dept's logo: it looks 2 contemporary n' well... cheesy, imho (in my humble opinion).   i think the richmond pd's logo is similar.   neway, 'nuff 'bout my opinions on police dept logos!

here's some pics from sat nite:

this is my new 'puter desktop wallpaper pic.
i took this pic of kaela b4 we left 4 the dinner thingy @ bamboo.

actually this isn't the whole group.   the pic is missing schelly n' her friend melinda.
top row: nelson, susan, craig, will, alice, mike, vivian
bottom row: ken, grace, kaela, beno
'member when i used to put pics of big groups up on my webpage all the time? ha ha.

ok, it's 404p now.   i've really gotta get back to studying.   my 1st class 2day is my "enginering analysis" class @ 530p.   i have a midterm in that class on wed eve.   after that class, i have my "control systems design" class.   i have a midterm 4 that class next mon eve.   next, next thurs afternoon, i have my "finite element analysis" midterm.   midterms! argh! crazy, huh?

last week, i got the security depo$it back from our old landlord.   phew, they didn't take out 2 much.   i thought they'd take out more.   yay!   well, i've gotta 'member to depo$it that check asap.   i 4got to bring it w/ me 2day.   i was gonna go werk on grace n' steve's 'puter this afternoon, but i didn't get in contact w/ grace till 2 late.   i'll go 2morrow morn.   bizzy life, eh?   well, yah... no time to write ne silly online journal! >:-(

2002.10.03

1st midterm

1233a: i had a midterm 2day; my 1st midterm since spring 1998! ha ha ha.   it was in "engineering analysis."   i think i did ok, altho' i know of 1 place where the prof might deduct some pts. :-/

uhm, lessee, where did i leave off w/ my update? 2002.09.30 w/ "speed limit".   oh yah.   well, actually, after i updated that afternoon, things went downhill... really far.   when i went to class, that mon evening, i realised i felt so much pressure n' stress!   i was freaking out cos i had hw to do n' a midterm to study 4.   i was sooo stressed.   then, u know what happened?   i came home n' opened my cellfon bill.   u c, right now, (as i'm sure i've sed b4), i dial into the uc berkeley isp from home by calling my 408 area code cellfon n' 4warding the call up to berkeley.   this way i avoid ne zone.to.zone (long distance) toll charges.   however, since i've been doing this, i ended up using up all my cell mins.   my cellfon bill was over $500!!!!!   i was freaked n' upset.   well... *sigh* the beautiful kaela kang came home from werking out @ the gym n' made a salad 4 us.   i called up ken (who owns those 2 cellfon stores, if u didn't know by now), n' he's gonna fix that 4 me, so that i don't get charged 4 those extra mins. phew!!!   (i'm gonna have unlimited nites n' weekends 'gain.)   he was the hero of the evening.   n' kaela was a heroine 4 the evening 4 making dinner, since i thought i was gonna make pasta that nite, but when i got home, i was in no mood @ all to cook.   well, i'm so relieved that ken can bail me out of this mess, but man... the internet prob is really bad here. :-/   i fell asleep relatively early on mon nite.

tues, i was s'pposed to fix grace n' steve's 'puter, but my mom n' kaela convinced me to put it off cos i had the midterm to study 4 n' everything.   since kaela n' i were going to dave n' emily's wedding rehearsal in berkeley that nite, i drove kaela to werk, so that we wouldn't hafta make awkward carpool arrangements in the eve.   i went to skool n' did my "finite element analysis" hw.   kaela 4got her glasses in my car, n' she wanted to bring them to the lenscrafters in valley fair to get fixed cos they were bent out of shape.   i brought her to the mall, n' i ate lunch @ rubio's while she got her glasses fixed.   man! why r the fish tacos so greasy @ this rubio's?!?! >:-( i'm gonna boycott their fried fish tacos 4 'least a while.   i went back to skool, finished my hw, n' went to class.   after class, i picked up kaela, n' we went to berkeley, driving thru some horrible traffik.   the rehearsal n' dinner were great.   it was great to c dave n' emily, andy, n' jeff 'gain. :-)   we had a great time.

wed: man, we woke up earlier than i wanted to.   i had to drive kaela to the dollar rent.a.car.   her werk rented her a car cos she was to drive up to yreka 4 a conference.   yes, that's yreka, not eureka.   i was so groggy n' disoriented.   after she got her car, i drove to the park n' ride lot n' went to the library to do my "control system design" hw.   i finished it n' i went to get my car to go get lunch n' repark it in the student garage.   also, i had left my books 4 the midterm (open book) in the car.   i went to mcyukyuk's by campus 4 lunch.   i had a big n' tasty meal.   i opted to have some caffeine, so i made it a large size meal; not a "super size," but a large size.   then i parked my car, went to the library, n' studied w/ my classmate friends dave n' brian.   a li'l b4 the test, we went down to the campus fud court.   i got a double cappuccino from the market café.   then we went to the test.   it was ok.   i was pressed 4 time, as usual.   i know that i'm just 2 anal!   i try to write out my solutions really neat n' provide all sorts'f explanations.   i really hope the prof appreciates this!   i really wasted time w/ trying to be all neat n' organised.   i'm glad i had the mark's standard handbook for mechanical engineering that my dad passed on to me.   it came in handy.   after the test, my 2 friends n' i went to our "control system design" class.   after that, we decided to relax w/ a postmidterm dinner.   @ 1st, we thought we'd go to an armadillo willy's, but i didn't wanna drag them so far south as the 1 closest to our house.   well, in the end, we went to the chili's on el camino by lawrence expressway.   these 2 friends r both san franciscans.   they rn't used to the south bay roads n' how we have expressways n' stuff like that.   i was talking to them 'bout it.   @ dinner, we talked 'bout such guy stuff.

well, 2nite (it's 1257a), kaela's off @ her werk conference.   i won't c her till fri. :-(

[later] 110p: musik: a coupl'f days ago i got the dj ultra vol 2 mix cd.   it's a good mix 'cept this: the dj sammy n' yanou robbins "heaven" track, it's sped up to beatmatch the other tracks, right?   that's fine, of course; but u know what? i can totally tell it's mixed from vinyl cos the pitch is adjusted... not just the speed, like what i do w/ my cd turntables, but the pitch! ugh! it's so frickin' annoying to hear that song (which i otherwise like very much) out of tune... way s#arp!!! >:-( as much ppl'll think i'm a nerdy dj 4 using cds, dang... this just go to show why vinyl sucks... even tho' kids think spinnin' vinyl looks so kewl... *roll eyes* the thing is... since this is a produced mix cd, they really could've done some post.recording werk to adjust the pitch back to sumpthin' that isn't so painful!   it must be like exactly a 0.25 key s#arp or sumpthin'.   i have rarely in the past heard nething so awful!!! >:-( well, other than that, the 2 cd set is ok. ha ha.   2day, i received my yes asia cd order.   yay, new musik.   i got 2 boa cds in this order n' 2 mix cd sets.   man, i'd sure love to get back to mixing.   yah, i have a dj "gig" (well, not teknically a "gig" cos it's a freebie, n' i guess some ppl'd only call it a "gig," if it pays) on sat @ dave's wedding.   however, wedding gigs don't count.   i wanna make 'nother mix cd.   *sigh* that's what i really like doing w/ djing, u know?   well... hrm, i used to get a real rush from live gigs... but geez, maybe i'm just getting old cos those live gigs just don't come 'round much nemore.   i don't dj college house parties nemore, u know?   it's ok.   however, i do wanna keep making mix cds.

2002.10.04

living colour

458p: well, what have i been doing?   uh... yesterday, i werked on grace n' steve's 'puter, went to class, went back to werk on the 'puter, went to taekwondo, got a boba drink from fantasia @ the wolfe 99, came home, cooked some eggplant n' portabello pasta sauce, had it w/ some gnocchi, n' fell asleep pretty early.   the beautiful kaela kang's been in yreka 4 that conference thingy.

this morn, i woke up later than i wanted to but not terribly late.   i 4got exactly when i woke up; around 830a, i think.   i woke up to same bad dreams: 1 'bout our house being full of bugs n' falling apart; n' 'nother 'bout not being able to find kaela in a mall.   in the 2nd dream, she had taken a job in ny or sumpthin'.   she was wearing red n' black, a red blouse n' black pants.   after the dream, i got out of bed, put my 'puter back 2gether (cos i stripped a 128mb strip from it yesterday to give to grace n' steve) w/ an extra 512mb strip of ram (that i accidentally had steve buy from fry's not knowing the 'puter i gave 'em takes pc100 ram but not pc133 ram), n' turned on my 'puter.   i realised that in my desktop pic of kaela, she's wearing red n' black.   i had changed my desktop colour from blue to a shade of red that matches kaela's shirt in that pic.   i really like that pic. :-) the thing is, i rarely use red.   also, i rarely wear red.   u know why, right? cos it's a stanfurd colour! the stanfurd colour!   i mean, why else do cal students chant "take off that red shirt!" @ futbol games?! however, in this pic, kaela really makes the colour red look good! :-)   i'm willing to change my desktop colour to red to match.   in my dream, when i couldn't find kaela in the mall, i had them page her over the p.a. in both english... n' french!   why french?! *shrug* weird.   dreams r weird.

oh yah, i almost 4got: when i was on my 'puter this morn, i checked out the program on the boa miracle cd.   it's got a pretty kewl gui (graphic user interface).   it's good 4 musikal artists ('specially these bubblegum pop artists) to put on extra software n' programs on their cds to get ppl to buy cds 'gain instead of just trading mp3s.   like, trading copies of cds btwn friends is 1 thing, while having mp3s totally floating all over the net is 'nother.   well... it's not like i'm 'gainst trading mp3s, but i'm just saying that recording companies should pursue this idea if they wanna keep stealing $$$ from kids.   that's the way 4 them to make $$$, not shutting down mp3 sites.   yesterday, i realised that boa's had so many hit songs in a relatively short time... n' she has hit songs in both korean n' japanese.   well, she also sings in mandarin, but she never had original songs in mandarin, just mandarin versions of her korean songs.   neway, geez! i guess it's pretty obvious she's quite the young pop diva of asia.   she's only 16.   most american pop "idols" only sing in 1 language, but it's nice that america does have pop idols that also sing in spanish.

neway, after i got ready 4 the day, i went straight to the gym.   oh dang! i 4got to tell u: yesterday morn when i went to the gym, i tried out the taichi class!   crazy, eh?! :-) yah, seriously!   i had a coupon 4 1 free "passport" class (the classes that usually co$t $4), n' it expires on 2002.10.08, so i figured i'd better use it.   the class was very small!   it was just me, this 1 wife/mutha, n' the instructor.   i learned some neat stuff.   i can't say i wanna pursue taichi the way i've been pursuing taekwondo, but it was a very in4mative session, i guess.   i got to try out some of the taichi stuff i saw during the smithsonian institute demos.   in taichi, u gotta really stay planted to "channel energy" from the ground to ur opponent.   that is an interesting philosophy.   i might check out the class 'gain next thurs, but yah... i do prefer flying n' spinning over just having roots planted in the ground.

neway, 2day, i went to the gym, did the precor machine that uses ur arms as well as ur legs, did some stretching, n' did some lifting.   it was a decent werkout.   i weighed myself after my shower.   i was 154 instead of 157.   not bad.   neway, i don't need to be lighter.   it's not like i've gotta spar as a feather weight netime soon.   i just wanna have a better physique, more muscle, less fat.   oh, that sounds vain.   or... uh... what do u call it in greek mythology terms? uh... what's that wurd 4 guys who care 2 much 'bout their looks?   neway, yah... i do wanna look fit, n' i do wanna be fit. *shrug*   as i left, i got a smoothie from the pro shop.

i went home n' ate lunch.   i ate some of the eggplant n' portabello sauce, but i didn't have it w/ gnocchi.   instead i made patties out of leftover ground turkey (which i knew i gotta use up), n' i put the sauce over the meat.   man! talk 'bout protein diet!   well, back when i was a single bachelor, i used to eat lots'f protein/meat meals where i'd have like grilled chicken breasts w/ bbq sauce n' rice or else oyako donburi (chicken, onions, n' egg over rice, japanese style).   actually, when i was a college student (as in undergrad), i usually cooked more extravagantly than that.   back in college, i almost never used jarred/canned pasta sauce!   wouldju believe that i insisted on usually making my own sauce by stewing roma tomatoes?!   *sigh* i was a freak, n' i loved cooking back in college.   after college, i guess i was a wannabe gourmet chef 4 a short time after graduation, but then i soon broke 'way from that scene.   i guess it was cos i started going out more... like, there was the whole cal taekwondo p. crew scene, 168, koko house, all that.   also, i had less time to cook elaborate meals cos i was going to taekwondo practice pretty much every nite.   n' then there was also how supermike told me that i should enjoy life since i werked hard as an engineer, that i should pay other ppl to cook since i get paid more 4 my time as an engineer, n' that it was thus not worth it 4 me to cook. *shrug* well, sometimes ppl cook to save $$$ instead of going out, n' then sometimes ppl cook cos they wanna cook special dishes, u know? *shrug*

well, 2day, i ate my lunch, n' then i guess i watched a li'l bit of junkie daytime tv.   then i went out in the afternoon to pick up the audio rentals 4 dave's wedding, which is 2morrow.   ah, being @ guitar showcase brought back memories of when i was a punk teenager wannabe rockstar! *sigh* crazy, huh?   well, when i got home, i watched a li'l cmc, (the musik video show i used to watch religiously in hi skool, 'least on the days when steve masters hosted "modern rock" videos).   i saw the video 4 a song i've heard on pop radio, 'prob'ly 'specially while i was down in socal.   uhm, i 4get what the name of the song or artist is, but it has some lines like "he was a skater boy. she said see you later, boy. ... now he's a superstar..." sumpthin' sumpthin'.   being in san jo does bring back many of when i was a skateboardiying to sue ucmap cos they set up a concession stand outside the wutc but got no bizness cos the event didn't have many spectators. *sigh* yah, that sucks.   however, i do hope ucmap doesn't get sued.   really, i want the berkeley taekwondo program to continue to do well n' prosper even tho' i'm not there nemore.

[later] 657p: hrm, it really looks like i'll be going to the wedding shaggy now. :-/ i have all the speakers n' amps 4 2morrow.   if i were a kewl person, i'd throw a party 2nite n' blast musik w/ that equipment, but i'm not that kewl, nope.   i really gotta redesign my webpage.   i think i'll make the 1st index page more geared 2wards the whole "benomix productions" thing, as kaela's dad advised me, but then still have a link to a new redesigned personal index page.   now, what am i gonna put on that personal index page. *shrug* am i gonna change my colour scheme?   heh, the whole blue n' gold thing is being questioned now, eh? (yes, i realise the word "gold" was in black, but that was cos yellow won't show up on the background of this webpage!)   *sigh* i dunno.   there r many colours in this world.   personally, i do like blue, many diff shades of blue.   i like black n' gray.   in btwn memorial day n' labour day, i wear white shirts.   i often like green.   my car is green.   n' purple?   purple is a very regal colour, yes.   it's a good colour 4 hair.

i've gotta load my coffin (my dj case w/ my mixer n' cd players) into my car 2nite.   i really don't wanna do it all by myself, but this isn't like berkeley where i used to be able to call a friend over pretty easily.   a long time 'go, i moved my coffin from my hillegass 'partment to the car n' back a few times.   then i ended up damaging the mixer 1nce n' the cd player 1nce.   both times, i had to take the damaged equipment in 4 repair.   :-( i don't want that to happen 'gain, but i dunno who'll help me bring the coffin down the stairs to my car.   my only hope is that all this weightlifting has actually made me stronger.   after all, i'm not just weightlifting to make prettyboy muscles. *roll eyes* well, it looks like i'll just hafta give it a shot.   i dunno if kaela can give me a hand when she comes home. *shrug* maybe, maybe not; but she'll come home a bit late, so maybe i should just start moving the coffin down now. *shrug* oh shoot! it's already dark outside.   man, it's getting dark really early now!   2morrow, we've gotta leave san jo pretty early.   we gotta pretend we're off to tahoe or sumpthin'.   u know sumpthin' that really bothers/worries me?   i'm still driving on that spare tire! that's bad.   if i get a flat tire, i don't have 'nother spare tire w/ me.   i've got a flat tire, mounted on the normal alloy wheel, sittin' in the garage, but i dunno what to do.   what i really should do is this: buy 4 new tires, n' have an auto shop mount 1 of the new tires on the spare tire wheel n' mount the old spare tire on the alloy wheel.   that way, i can ride on the spare tire until the other 3 normal tires r ready to go.   then, i can take the spare n' put it back on the spare tire wheel, n' have 4 matching new tires n' 1 old spare tire.   after all, a spare tire doesn't hafta be brand spankin' new, just functional. *sigh* however, i dunno if it's ok 4 me to store 3 extra tires in my mom's garage. :-(   u c, i gotta buy my tires in the mail from tire rack.   hrm, well... i s'ppose if the shipping's not gonna get that much more co$t efficient by ordering 4 tires @ 1nce instead of just 1 @ a time, then i can go 'head n' just buy my 1 single tire. *shrug* yah, maybe that's the solution.   that was the original plan neway.

2002.10.07

dave's wedding

421p: what a packed weekend!   i'm in the mechanical engineering lab (@ sjsu.edu) right now.   i finished my "control system design" homewerk n' am starting my "finite element analysis" hw. 438p: so this past weekend was dave's big wedding.   wow, what a weekend!   uh, lessee, on fri, i got all the sound equipment etc.   then i had to go pick up the beautiful kaela kang from the airport car rental place, when she got back from yreka in her rental car.   i took her to dinner in j.town @ katanaya ramen.   ain't it funny? when i say "j.town" now, i mean san jo j.town, not sf j.town! weird.   we saw this young kitty looking rather confused in the middle of the street, so i chased it off to the sidewalk where it's less likely to get squished, squooshed, or squashed.   we fell asleep pretty easily on fri nite.

sat morn, we woke up kind'f late n' jammed up to berkeley after packing the coffin in the car.   we got to tilden park's brazilian room, n' set up the sound stuff w/ help from dave's groomsmen: andy, jeff, n' supermike. [much later, 1151p, @ home] i did the musik 4 the wedding.   it was a beautiful wedding.   dave n' emily looked great.   we had lunch @ the reception.   then, we went to sf to hang w/ supermike n' his gf noelle.   then we went to the chinese wedding banquet @ yank sing restaurant.   man, this wedding was a big cal taekwondo party crew reunion!   really, it felt great.   there were so many friends that i hadn't cn in a long time.   lemme tell u... thruout the yrs now, i've had my differences w/ some ppl over dumb social politics... no, not the more recent taekwondo politics, just social politics.   however, after all this time away, i realise that my ol' p.crew friends r really good ppl who can have fun.   i do miss those ol' days.

u know, honestly, the big issue that i had w/ the ol' p.crew was that ppl got sort'f upset w/ me 4 always wanting to gather all these taekwondo ppl 2gether to go out in big groups etc.   i thought, geez! we should all go out 2gether.   then ppl complained to me that they didn't want to go in big groups, that when we go out in big groups, the group ends up splitting off neway, etc.   n' 1nce in a while, ppl were direct enuf to say that they plain didn't like certain other ppl in the big group.   the whole "the group ends up splitting up into li'l groups thing" never made sense to me cos i thought, "well, that's fine. so be it.   'least we can go to the same place @ the same time 2gether, n' we can have a chance of getting to know other ppl in the big group."   however, nope; that surely did not werk out.

well, now, so much time has passed, n' the old p.crew... well... pretty much disintigrated a long time 'go.   however, i realise so much in retrospect... i think.   like, i know, down here in the so bay, i definitely don't have a big group of friends to bring to dinner n' movies every weekend.   i do catch up w/ my old hi skool friends ken n' nelson.   thru.out the old p.crew days, i always wish nelson was in the country to hang out w/ us cos i knew, from hangin' w/ his group during his ucsd days, that he liked this sort'f atmosphere, n' he would've liked the p.crew bunch.   however, he was living in asia in those days.   well, now that he's in san jo, nelson still tries to put 2gether big groups to go out to dinner n' movies etc.   yah, it's really similar to when i was so into the p.crew etc.   well, the p.crew was a li'l diff cos, 4 the most part, we had a common bond in taekwondo.   well, i noticed somethin' the last time nelson organised a big dinner: even tho', yah, the group can split up into a bunch'f miniconversations, everybody knows nelson, n' he can jump in on ne miniconversation.   well, i started wondering, this weekend, if maybe that's what i liked 'bout the big groups 2.   maybe, back in those days, i could jump in on ne of many minicoversations. *shrug* but if so, i feel kind'f bad then; i feel like i was being kind'f selfish.   like, i put a bunch'f friends @ an inconvenience of being forced to go out w/ a big group of strangers, just so that i could have the convenience of being 'round a big group of friends. *shrug* does that make sense?   neway, it's not like i force ne1 to do nething. :-/ i'm not that powerful of a social influence. *roll eyes*

well, i was so happy to c the ol' cal taekwondo p.crew ppl.   really!   well, that was sat.   on sun morn, kaela n' i went swimming @ the gym.   then we went to lunch w/ ken n' grace @ khanh's vietnamese café on winchester blvd near stevens creek blvd.   then i dropped kaela off @ valley fair, while i went to return the rental audio equipment @ guitar showcase on bascom.   that took a while cos'f a road detour.   @ valley fair, we bought supermike some b.day gifts.   then we took off to berkeley to have dinner w/ laura, jerome, n' roland.   then we met up w/ the other ol' time p.crew members to celebrate supermike's b.day @ the albatross pub on san pablo ave. *sigh* it was very kewl to hang w/ supermike 'gain this weekend, n' it was really great to meet his gf noelle! :-)

2day was mon.   now it's actually 1207a on tues, but i don't wanna start a new entry yet.   2day, i went to skool early 'nuff in the morn.   i sat in the library n' did my "control system design" hw, as i sed.   then i went to lunch w/ kaela @ myungdong soondubujip on el camino.   i had bibimnaengmyuhn, n' kaela had some kind of sooondubu jjigae; i think haemoolsoondubu.   then i went back to skool to finish my hw n' go to class.   i was very drowsy, so i got a cappuccino from the market café b4 class.   oh, i got my midterm back.   i guess i got a pretty solid "a." :-)   i'm glad i was able to start off grad skool w/ a decent grade.   it makes me feel good.   i really wanna keep it up.

2nite, it was still warm upstairs @ home till late.   i was so dang frustrated cos i was looking 4 our tahoe cards that kaela bought.   i'm scared my mom threw them away.   i was so stressed.   stuff like this really stresses me out.

on a happier note, i did get my shoes 2day.   when kaela saw them, i sed, "u don't like my old shoes, do u?"   she's always hinted @ that.   yah, she sez she doesn't like my old retro.retro, just plain out of style, reebok sneakers.   well, she doesn't say bad things 'bout my fashion 2 often, so don't call say that i'm all whipped cos i got new shoes to replace the 1s she doesn't like.   also, it's not like that's the only reason i got new shoes.   1st off, it really was time to get new shoes.   well, i told kaela that these r the nicest athletic shoes i've ever owned, the most hitech 1s.   yah, it's true.   however, i'm glad that i can say they rn't some totally outrageously expen$ive nike air jordans or nething. heh.   'member, 1 thing i like 'bout these new balance shoes is that they're made in the u.s.a.   i didn't realise that new balance makes such a big deal 'bout this.   the shoes came w/ a tag that talks all 'bout it. wow.

it's 1224a on tues, but i'm still goin' on w/ mon's journal entry.   *sigh* 'nother thought i had this weekend was the realisation that dave's the closest friend i have that has gotten married so far.   like, ken was s'pposed to have gotten married last sept, but they un4tunately had to postpone till next spring.   if ken had gotten married last month, i would've gone thru quite a diff experience these past few weeks.   w/ dave's wedding... it all really hit me: my friends n' i really r getting married now.   i've djed tons of weddings 4 ol' friends, 'specially 4 old intervarsity christian fellowship friends.   many of them married really young... 'least by 2day's standards, i guess.   i've lost touch w/ most of the ppl i knew from that crowd.   however, now that cal taekwondo party crew ppl r getting married, i'm feeling diff.   well, 4 1 thing, this whole weekend, kaela n' i kept being reminded that this'll be us 9 months from now.   this is all really gonna happen.   heh. well, *sigh* if i say it that way, then i get kaela all riled up n' nervous.   *sigh* really, the 2 of us have gotta look 4ward to the wedding 4 the good thing it's gonna be.   obviously, i don't like making it sumpthin' to stress over.   obviously, these days many, many brides r demanding fairy tale wedding... like how that news show we watched in d.c. was talkin' 'bout bridezillas, the numerous brides these days that r demanding expen$ive wedding tailored 100% to exactly what they want.   yah... n' all the "wedding vendors" r such dang vultures out to get our $$$. >:-( yah, it really all disgusts me... but i do wanna have a nice wedding.   in fact, i expect to have a nice wedding, n' i look 4ward to having a nice wedding. :-) isn't that the way to think? :-) 4 1 thing, i really can't wait to c my friends @ my wedding... after all, this past weekend was such a big, cheerful reunion. :-)   oh, 1 thing 'bout fancy weddings: when i heard how much dave n' emily spent per guest 4 the chinese wedding banquet @ yank sing, i felt very flattered to be their guest! :-o yah, i've always heard that yank sing is pretty much the best traditional chinese restaurant in sf.

[later, after writing an e.mail to bernard huang] 104a, tues, 2002.10.08: oh yah, i wanna thank kelly 4 signing my gbook! i really appreciate it!   uhm, i'm thinking kelly = llamrei from bronx's junkyard forums.   am i correct? *shrug* otherwise i dunno who kelly is.

2002.10.09

midterm #2

1144p: midterm #2 down!   i had my "control system design" midterm 2nite.   well... i wish i had had a better "cheat sheet." (we were allowed 1 sheet of notes.)   i think i did ok, but i know i could've done better.   yesterday, i wasted the day doing my "finite element analysis" hw, which was a monster assignment.   2day, i spent the whole day studying 4 this test.   i left campus to lunch @ quizno's n' pick up some spare aaa batteries 4 my ol' ti.85 calculator in case the old renewal alkaline rechargeable that came w/ the calculator.   i think i did recharge those batteries 'least 1nce since i got the calculator back in uh... 1995? 1996? *shrug* hrm... i 4get.   i got it from target, n' it came in a package w/ the free rechargeable batteries, a prepaid foncard, n' some microwave popcorn.   it was a college student package, but it co$t only as much as the calculator itself would co$t... or actually a li'l less, so it was a very good deal.   i think my dad bought it 4 me.   neway, it's pretty neat to be using the ol' ti.85 calculator 'gain.   during my time as a werking stiff, i didn't use calculators much.   i didn't do fancy calculations... mostly just mindnumbing werking world stuff. :-( eh! but that's not to say i don't have good engineering career experience. heh.   neway, after lunch, i went back to the library n' studied w/ my classmate friends brian n' dave.   then we went to our "engineering analysis" class.   then we took our "control systems design" test.   i actually didn't run out of time, suprpisingly.   however, i'm pretty sure i made some mistakes.   it cms from the "engineering analysis" midterm results that profs @ sjsu r nicer 'bout partial credit than berkeley profs.   i hope that's true.   after the test, the 3 of us decided to eat @ armadillo willy's.   i asked the beautiful kaela kang to meet us there.   she was really quiet during dinner, so i thought she was tremendously bored w/ our geektalk, but well, maybe she was just sleepy. :-( i ordered a 0.5 slab of baby back ribs.   i'm still so full.

oh, on tues nite, after skool, i picked up kaela from her werk.   then we got a frosted latte boba drink from fantasia, looked @ giant, fuzzy bunnies in the window of the gift shop , then went to taekwondo practice.   i'd been thinking 'bout how i actually missed practicing poomsae.   just my luck; we did some poomsae n' some 1 steps.   on our way home, we picked up some fud from the wendy's hamburgers drive.thru: just a salad, some nuggets, n' some sprite. we wanted to get some groceries from ne of the 3 big korean markets, but they were all closed.

well, it's 1203a now on 2002.10.10, but i'll just keep typing. *shrug* i used to consider each day to last until i went to bed n' woke up the next morn.   like, right now, i'd still call thurs "2morrow" instead of "2day."   i'm pretty tired.   as i've sed b4, i never nap these days.   i haven't napped in a long time.   when i was an undergrad, i'd sometimes get to nap in btwn classes.   when i was a werking stiff, i napped btwn werk n' taekwondo practice.   no, i might wake up late or fall asleep early, but i don't nap.   well, i guess that's a good thing.   it's best not to nap, right?   i wonder how long i'll keep this "no nap" streak up.   2nite, it cooled down a bit here in san jo.   even tho' it cooled down a bit during the uvas canyon fire, last weekend n' this week had been really warm, 'specially 4 oktober.   well, i know eventually, san jo'll get cold in the winter.

2002.10.10

morn @ home

336p: i'm in lab right now, but i had such a slow start to my day 2day.   i didn't leave the house till 'bout noon, when i went to eat lunch w/ the beautiful kaela kang.   i did random chores n' tasks @ home all morn.   i printed out some pics using our foto printer.   i made some benomix4jip cds cos there r still some ppl that want them but didn't get them.   kaela n' i ate lunch 'round 100p @ a restaurant called central china on winchester in san jo.   i found it in the korean yellow pages as "kyuhnghwa banjuhm."   kaela told me to find a place to try out as potential fud sources 4 the wedding caterers.   i'm not sure, but i think i went to that restaurant when i was a kid w/ my parents. *shrug* well, we had the usual jjambbong (chaomamien) n' jjajangmyuhn (jiajiangmien) duo.   after lunch, i dropped kaela back off @ werk n' then went to grace n' steve's to werk on their 'puter.   whenever i put in the modem, winxp'll boot up; but then when it recognising the modem, the 'puter all of the sudden shuts off!   weird, huh?   *sigh* is there a prob w/ the pci bus? w/ the power supply? *shrug* i could use some help!

ok, so llamrei set me straight that she wasn't the earlier kelly.   who was that then? *shrug* when i saw orimonde's website, i was wondering if orimonde is llamrei cos they both like buffy n' spike.   heh, but i guess not.   well, gbook signing ppl, thank u very much.   llamrei, thanks.   yah, i'm pretty open to ppl's reading my web journal. *shrug* i don't mind having more readers.

2002.10.11

hairbear

151a: it's late in the nite, i s'ppose.   it's teknically fri morn, i guess.   well, 2nite (as in thurs nite), i went to taekwondo practice.   it was fun.   it was a fitness nite, of sorts.   shim sabuhmnim wants us to have a fitness nite 1nce a month, specifically on an unknown thurs cos he sez more ppl come on thurs cos thurs r usually sparring nites.   i don't think i mentioned this b4 but classes @ master shim's r pretty diff from ucmap cos they r taught almost entirely in korean.   pretty much all the students in the advanced adult class r korean.   yah, that's diff from ucmap alright.   well, we got good exercise 2nite, but i've had much tuffer werkouts @ berkeley, honestly.   it's ok.   i still felt good after exercising! :-) then i went back to the beautiful kaela kang's office.   c, i had been there b4 practice.   then i went to practice n' came back.   she was really frustrated w/ an assignment 'bout the recent e.coli outbreaks. :-( well, we went to dinner.   she wanted to find a soondubujip.   me, i wasn't that hungry.   i was kind'f worried 'bout going to a soondubujip cos i wasn't sure if i was hungry 'nuff 4 a whole pot of soondubu jjigae.   well, it was prob'ly 'bout 930p, n' we couldn't find an open soondubujip, so we ended up @ uhboouy jip (fisherman's house).   i figured they had soupy jjigae kind'f stuff.   i had cn their ads so many times in diff local korean publikations.   well, when we got there, i was shocked to c that we were much younger than all the other customers.   i felt a li'l out of place.   all the other customers were "middle age plus" biznessmen n' the occassional biznesswoman.   however, the servers treated us fine n' all.   i ordered hweduhpbap, n' kaela ordered altang (fish egg soup).   it was all really good.   ken n' nelson called me earlier 'bout helping ken rip carpet out of his new house.   after dinner, i went to help them, but they were done.   ken, billy, n' i just hung 'round his new house talkin' 'bout how ken plans to rennovate the house.   he wants to do most of it himself cos he has all these nice tools.   he doesn't wanna waste $$$ hiring ppl.   it's a nice house, but we all had to comment 'bout how 70sish it looks.   yah, ken's family bought it new when ken was born, back in 1975.   since then, i guess it hasn't changed much.   well, ken plans on bringing the house into the current century.

master jang is in town.   i briefly talked to him on the fon 2nite.   we plan on hanging out w/ him 2nite (as in really 2nite, fri nite).   this'll be a very bizzy weekend.   eh! what else is new?   every weekend is a bizzy weekend.   every day is a bizzy day.   what can i say?   i'm a young, ambitious guy.   well, each day i get a li'l less young, maybe... just maybe.   do i get less ambitious? *shrug* i want to do many things, accomplish many things.   what more can i say?   i'm not easily satisfied w/ life.   i want to be outside, out doing things, out doing fun things, doing things to improve the quality of my life... in all sorts'f ways.   i want to live a rich life.   i didn't say i necessarily want to "be rich."   i sed i wanna live "a rich life."   'bout being financially rich, i was tellin' ken 2nite (as in thurs nite), "u know, i only hope we can do as well as our parents."   yah, that's true.   really! look 'round!   look @ how many of my peers r unemployed!   sometimes, i feel like the $#!++y economy is just an excuse 4 my generation not to werk... but we all know that ain't true.   i mean, yah... 4 my friend who sez he won't take a job that pays less than $90,000 even tho' he hasn't ever had a career job... uh... i gotta say this isn't the right economy 4 that kind'f thinking... but *sigh* that doesn't change his thinking.

so kaela n' i have really gotta sign up 4 the covad dsl deal.   i was surprised to learn that covad dsl runs off of ur existing fon line.   wow.   apparently, we hafta sign up 4 the dsl account under my mom's name cos the fon line is in her name.   the sucky thing is that neither the fon line in my old bedroom (where my 'puter is) nor the fon line in my sister's old bedroom (where kaela's 'puter is) werks. *roll eyes* *sigh* geez! why the heck does getting internet hafta be so dang difficult?!   seriously! this is not a good situation!   u know, not having real internet isn't good 4 my skoolwerk cos my profs all assume we've got decent internet access n' post up class material online instead of handing it out. *sigh* yah, the lack of internet access does really frustrate me. >:-(

u know... but my generation isn't like the generation younger than us, in that we do know what life was like w/o internet n' personal computers.   really! when i c kids younger than me (n' by that i'm referring to 2day's college kids), i realise that 'puter life n' online life means sooo much more to them than it does to ppl of my generation.   sure, most of us r 'puter saavy, but i honestly think most of us live more of our life offline than these younger kids do.   1 thing i don't do is online gaming. heh, "gaming" sounds like i'm referring to gambling, but i'm just talkin' 'bout rts (real time strategy) or fps (1st person shooter) games.   i don't play 'em.   honestly, they look like a lot of fun to me, but i just feel i don't have time 4 them.   i mean, shoot! most ppl think i try to do 2 much, right?   i mean, what the heck do i wanna be?   i wanna be a good engineer.   i wanna be a good martial artist.   i wanna be a good dj.   i wanna be a good snowboarder.   i wanna be fit.   i wanna be somewhat social n' able to talk 'bout nongeeky stuff.   i wanna c movies.   i wanna eat a variety of fud.   i wanna go to diff places in diff cities.   lemme tell u, i'm not a person who sez that he likes "just chillin' @ home."   even tho' we've got a nice house here in san jo w/ my mom, i'm not 1 who wants to spend so much time inside the house.   i wanna be outside more... as much as possible.

what was it that peter parker's aunt sed to him in the somewhat recent amazing spiderman movie? "u try to do to much.   u'r not superman, u know."   eh! i don't try to do 2 much.   back in hi skool, i tried to do 2 much, taking on leadership roles in all sorts'f clubs n' playing musik in all sorts'f groups.   now, i really have narrowed down my pursuits.   sure, it still is more than just 1 thing.   don'tchu know?   the things i cut out of my life r things like sittin' @ home n' watching primetime tv every nite.   sure, when u don't have pursuits in life, u sure have a lott'f free time.   however, i can't be satisfied w/ that!   'member? i toldju b4 that, back in hi skool, my history teacher taught us 'bout "the rennaisance man," n' i was inspired by that.   i wanted to be a rennaissance man.   uhm, or 'least i wanna be a man who can spell rennaissance... (ok, that last statement was just a fun poke @ how i misspelled rennaissance a few sentences back there.)   well, maybe the whole "i wanna be a rennaissance man" thing sounds really grandiose.   what i mean is that i wanna be a guy who is smart w/ teknical things n' can also do artistic things n' can also do physical/athletic things.   i want to be that.   i know that i'm not the most wellread guy 'round.   yah, i know that sort'f sucks.   i know i'm not the best writer since i gotta resort to phrases like "that sort'f sucks" instead of using eloquent wurds.   sure, i could be more cultured.   i don't speak all sorts'f great european languages fluently.   ok, i'm not all fancy schmancy in that sense.   however, i never sed that's the kind of "rennaissance man" i wanna be.   i have my own style, my own take on the whole thing.   uhm, isn't that just a fancy way to give an excuse 4 being "a jack of all trades, master of none"?   u know what? it isn't.   4 1 thing, i'm not that!   yah, i know some guys that really know lots'f hot facts 'bout all sorts'f hot topiks but don't know the basic theory behind ne of those topiks.   i'm not that.   really, the stuff i claim to be good @, i take pride in them n'll say i really know my $#!+ 'bout them.   i'm not bsing here.   now, if i went 'round saying i'm a master of paintballing cos i have been paintballing like 4 times, then i'd be frickin' bsing.   if i sed i'm a master of golf cos i have gone 1nce, i'd 1nce 'gain be really bsing.   lemme tell u: all i'm saying is that i have varied interests, n' yes, i have been able thus far to pursue them... n' i owe that all to boycotting primetime tv! :-)

lemme tell u, 1 guy who i do sometimes think really tries to do 2 much is joon.   however, joon, i do have faith in u, n' believe u can juggle these activities n' someday realise u lived a rich life. :-) good 4 u! n' good luck! :-) (also, don't 4get: study hard!)

well, dangit! me? i've gotta study hard.   next week, i have my "finite element analysis" midterm.   i'm worried.   my progress in digesting the topiks sort'f fell behind the course skedule in the past coupl'f weeks.   right now, it cms like this class covers so much material cos it teaches all this finite element analysis theory as well as how to use finite element analysis software.   @ times, i feel it should only teach 1 or the other, but i'm sure the dept knows what it's doing in combining those topiks into 1 course.   hopefully, i'll find time to do these 3 things 2day (fri): 1) study a li'l finite element analysis, 2) werkout in the gym since i haven't been to the gym since i got my new shoes, n' 3) get a haircut since i told kaela 2nite (as in thurs nite) that i've got so much hair now that i look like justin from american idol!   2nite (as in fri nite), we're s'pposed to hit bellagio (the korean club not the vegas hotel).   i can't go in there w/ my big asian fro! >:-( heh, now i sound really vain, but heh... well i'm sort'f joking.   kaela reminded me that the wurd i was looking 4 earlier this week is "narcissist."   i had a feeling that was the wurd, but there's a berkeley hair salon called "narcissus," i think, so i thought that must not be the wurd... cos i figured the wurd i was looking 4 must have such a bad connotation that a bizness wouldn't use it 4 its name. *shrug* [i] guess not.   *sigh* 'member, i 1nce had that chat outside bellagio w/ their manager 'bout djing there. *sigh* that was quite a while 'go now, eh?   really, i'd always wanna dj there, but i know it'd be quite a strain on my life as it is now. :-/ what i really wanna do next w/ my djing is record 'nother mix cd, but i don't even have soundforge installed on my 'puter cos i dunno if i can install it properly w/o totally reinstalling windows. *shrug* 'member? i sed that i dunno if i wanna reinstall windows till i have a decent internet source. *sigh* life always has its stressors, eh?

sure, if i lived in a box out on the street, i sure wouldn't be stressing over home internet access.   in this journal, i used to say so often: mo' money, mo' problems.   however, that notorious b.i.g. song sure is old now, n' these days i'd prob'ly say "mo' $$$, mo' probs" instead.   'member? that's benospeech.   however, if i were actually speaking, i'd either say "mo' money, mo' problems" or "more money, more problems."   it's 2 tuff to say "more dollar sign dollar sign dollar sign."   it's 305a, n' i just realised the reason i'm so dang insomniatic (that's prob'ly not a wurd.) is cos i finished off kaela's cherry coke 2nite after i met up w/ her after her werk.   that's it, ain't it? *shrug*

well, 2nite (as in right now), i sure vomitted out a bunch'f thoughts that no1 really wants to read.   e.coli gives u bloody diarrhea.   if e.coli could make u output in the form of typed text instead of loose stools, this would be the output. *snicker* does that make sense???   u know, if it weren't 4 me knowing that it's just the cherry coke making me stay up late n' type out all this textual spewage, i'd say the reason i'm writing all of this is cos i didn't have much time this week to write more than just ramblings 'bout my daily skedule; n' that was cos'f my midterm.

[later] 502p: well, i got a very, very late start to my day 2day.   i really wanted to start extra early n' get extra tasks done.   i toldju what my 3 planned activities were 2day: 1) study some "finite element analysis," 2) werk out in the gym, n' 3) get a haircut.   so far, i've done only #1.   :-( it took me a while to get out of the house cos'f random chores.   i went to meet kaela 4 lunch.   we went to taqueria una mas 4 tacos.   then we got some coffee @ starbucks.   my tall cappuccino was s'pposed to be nonfat, but the guy must've not heard me, n' i could tell it was very much not nonfat.   after i dropped kaela back off @ werk, i went to the sjsu library n' did 0.5 of my "finite element analysis" hw, which is due on tues.   i s'ppose i'm sort'f ahead of the game, but eh! i should try to stay on this kind'f skedule instead of doing my hw last min.

well, last nite, i sort'f hoped i'd wake up early 'nuff 2day to wash n' wax my car.   nope!   this past coupl'f days have been sort'f burnout days.   i've been werking hard n' sleeping li'l.   i slept in 2day, n' i felt so hungover this afternoon, but i know i wasn't actually hungover cos i have not been drinking.   while doing my hw in the library, after a while, i got very jittery as if i were nervous.   nervous 'bout what?!   i think i'm a li'l nervous cos i dunno how this weekend'll go.   will i fit in all the things i wanna do?   geez! i'd sure love to go to the gym sometime!   'member? b4 this week, i was so good 'bout keeping a regular gym werkout skedule.   what the heck happened?!   i'm pretty upset 'bout that.   i told ken i hope to help him paint his new house on sun.   @ the same time, i know berkeley friends'll be planning to do stuff w/ master jang, n' i very much wanna be there.

2002.10.12

bellagio, 1st time in ages

1245p: wow, last nite we went to bellagio 4 the 1st time in ages! :-) we went clubbing 4 the 1st time in ages.   shoot, if i'm gonna go clubbing, i definitely prefer bellagio. :-) we didn't get to eat dinner cos we were in a rush.   we ate fruit from the fruit plates on our tables @ the club; that was our dinner.   we got to hang w/ master jang.   that was kewl.   it was a very big group consisting of taekwondo ppl, dragonboat ppl, n' bronx's junkyard ppl.   we danced quite a bit.   it was fun.   oh yah, b4 we went clubbing, the beautiful kaela kang cut my hair.   it's much shorter now.   it feels much better.   heh, 1 funny thing @ bellagio was when this drunk uhm... much older women came up to our group of guys on the dance floor, wanting to dance w/ 1 of us.   i was very shocked.   we all were.   then jason, darren's roommate went 'head n' danced w/ her.   she brought him back to her v.i.p. room 4 drinks n' conversation...   well, it turns out that she was a guest of the owner of the club, n' jason sat there talkin' w/ the owner n' his friends. ha! funny.

[later] 116p: hey, i wanna thank john poon 4 signing my gbook.   good to hear from u, john!

2002.10.14

indigenous ppl's day

1034p: from fri nite thru sat, we had tons n' tons of fun: on fri nite, as i sed b4, we went to bellagio.   on sat, roland brought master inkwon jang down to san jo to visit us.   we lunched @ jangtuh soondae.   mmm... soondae!   then we went to fantasia to get boba drinks! mmm... boba drinks!   then we brought master jang n' roland down to our house, where master jang n' i played guitar.   we had lots'f fun.   then we went out to saratoga amc 14 to watch the tuxedo.   since the 930p show was sold out, we had to buy tix 4 the 1030p show.   since we had time, we went to dinner @ the nearby cucina cucina italian restaurant.   it was pretty good.

on sun, i helped ken fix up his new house, which i neglected to mention b4 is actually his old house. heh.   u c, his parents 1st bought that house when he was born in 1975.   then they moved out of it but kept it as a rental property.   now they're letting ken take over the mortgage n' move in.   it's quite a fixer upper, but ken's got lots'f friends to help him out.   he's great @ getting a community to werk 2gether to help each other out, u know?   honestly, ken does so much to help out his friends, n' it really promotes a spirit of sharing. :-) heh.   sounds a li'l 2 warm n' cuddly, huh?   ok, well, he's a tuff guy nonetheless.   we had kfc 4 lunch.   greasy but tasty since i hadn't had it in a long time.   in the evening, i met up w/ the beautiful kaela kang n' we werked out @ the gym.   i finally got to wear my new shoes.   i had a great werkout, but the weightlifting made me really sore.   well, i'm hoping that's a good thing.   i wanna get a li'l more muscle, u know? heh.   @ the gym, we ran into khoi (maverickvns from bronx's junkyard forums.   that was kewl.   kaela n' i went home 4 dinner.   we went to pw super(market) n' bought some groceries to make beanieweanie.   dangit! we 4got my car @ almaden plaza!   c, i met up w/ kaela @ almaden plaza, n' we took 1 car to the gym.   then, 1nce 'gain, we 4got to pick up the 2nd car on our way home. *sigh*

2day was indigenous ppl's day, so kaela had the day off of werk, but i didn't have the day off from skool.   we washed our cars in the morn.   in the afternoon, we went out to tri.city cos kaela wanted to buy some better snowboarding boots.   we had lunch on the way in milpitas @ tk noodles.   kaela tried on many pairs of boots.   she picked a pair of hi.tech solomon boots.   she has much nicer boots than i do, but oh well.   i don't mind.   i bought a helmet, new mittens, n' a beanie.   can u belive after like 10 seasons of snowboarding, i finally bought a helmet?!   it's cos i know i do some pretty crazy stuff w/ all the jumps, airs, n' tricks... i don't fall much, but now that i'm getting married... i just feel i have more to live 4 etc. heh...   i don't mean to sound depressing... it's s'pposed to be a good thing! :-)   so yah, i guess i'll be wearing a helmet now. *shrug*

kaela dropped me off @ skool.   i went to the student union, got a peenya kowlada jamba juice n' went to class.   after class, kaela picked me up.   on our way home, we went to the local trader joe's.

this weekend, i slept quite a bit n' had some weird dreams.   i 'member 1 involved me losing a tooth.   it was a very realistic dream n' freaked me out like crazy.   in my dream, 1 of my top bicuspids just sort'f rot n' fell out.   when i woke up i was so surprised yet relieved that it was only a dream.   i only have 1 set of bicuspids cos i had the other set pulled out when i got braces.

oh yah, @ the end of last week, kaela ordered us covad dsl.   yah, we gotta do it.   the thing is: i still gotta fix the fon lines in this house. :-(   i dunno how to fix fon lines.

2002.10.15

wireless future

1004a: i got a semi.early start to the day by driving the beautiful kaela kang to werk.   deep down inside, i wanted to hit the gym after dropping her off, but instead i went to campus.   now, i'm in the me (mechanical engineering, of course) lab finishing up my "finite element analysis" hw.   on the way to kaela's werk, we stopped by starbucks to get coffee.   of course, i got a tall nonfat cappuccino; which i could call a tall nf cap, i s'ppose.   @ that pt, since i was drinking coffee, i knew i'd go to campus n' not the gym.   why would i drink coffee b4 werkout?!   neway, this is what's good 4 me, right? right.   i gotta werk hard @ my studies! :-)   i parked my car @ the park n' ride lot n' rode the bus to the engineering building.   i like it when i can catch the shuttle that goes directly to the engineering bldg instead of the 1 that only goes to duncan hall of science.   that really speeds up my day. :-)

this morn, i watched a li'l of... uh... what's the nbc morn show??? is it good morn amerika or today? *shrug* they interviewed jeb bush.   many other bloggers have been talkin' 'bout politiks lately.   me, i've stayed 'way from it so far.   well, what can i say?   i don't like what george w. bush is doing.   i oppose war.   u know, the last coupl'f weeks we had that oakland dock werker's strike.   george w. bush intervened n' forced them to go back to werk.   even tho' we were losing lots of $$$ n' vegetables cos the ships were stuck n' not being unloaded; i think it was wrong 4 bush to force the werker to go back to werk.   don't werkers in this country have a right to form unions n' strike?   hrm... yah, i definitely gotta say that bush is a bad president, n' we'd've been better off w/ gore.   'member... the whole 9.11 thing prob'ly wouldn't've happened if gore were in office instead.   well, jimmy carter was awarded the nobel peace prize.   funny.   up until now, ppl've always made fun of carter as sort'f a useless president.   wasn't jimmy carter a nuclear engineer b4 becoming president?

it was really misty/foggy this morn in san jo.   'member, yesterday we washed our cars.   i was sort'f bummed to find my car all covered w/ moisture this morn, but as i started driving, the water beaded up n' rolled off.   it's fun to watch that, isn't it? :-) i was telling kaela on the morn commute: if the country goes totally wireless, then we can tear down all those telefon lines.   but then, where'll all the burdies sit?!   she sed they can sit on the streetlites.

2002.10.16

line noise

102a: after my "finite element analysis" class i got so dang freaked out 'bout thurs's midterm.   during class, i decided to skip out on taekwondo practice to study 4 the midterm.   dang, i really wanna exercise, but *sigh* i guess i'll hafta be wimpy n' fat to be smart. :-( *sigh* well, i had to pick up the beautiful kaela kang from werk n' drive her home b4 returning to the library since we carpooled this morn cos i planned to go to taekwondo practice.   this was the 1st time i went to the sjsu library @ nite.   b4 actually starting grad skool, i always assumed i'd end up spending late nites in the library or lab... but until now it hadn't turned out like that.   it's mostly cos my classes r in the evening, so i go to skool "early" instead of staying late, right? right.   well, the library was actually really crowded; full of undergrads studying 4 their midterms.   when i got home, kaela had cooked spam curry.   ha ha.   that might sound weird to some of u, but it was very delicious! :-)

well, late 2nite (as in now, not really 2nite), i played 'round w/ the modem n' the temporary covad dialup service we've got until our covad dsl kit comes in.   by researching n' dealing w/ fon line noise, i managed to get my connection rate up from 28.8kbps to 49.2kbps.   crazy, huh?   however, i'm really pessimistic that our house just has bad n' old fon wiring! :-( :-( :-( yah, i'm really worried. :-( what if the covad dsl doesn't even werk properly 4 us cos our fon wiring is so old. :-( i'm worried.   *sigh* why is the fon line in this house so dang jacked?!   right now the fon jack in my room is all taken apart cos i was trying to fix it, but i just plain don't know how.   the 1 in my sister's old room is also messed up. :-(   i'm wondering if ne of the hardware i researched on the net that supposedly can clean up bad fon lines actually werks. *shrug*

2002.10.17

dad's b.day

1159p, 2002.10.16: yah, i'm 1 min early.   oh well. well, it'll be oct 17 soon 'nuff.   then it'll be my dad's b.day.   happy b.day! :-) well, i've been bizzy studying, of course, so i didn't get to send nething. sorry.   whoops! it's now 1200a.   now it's officially oct 17.

well, i have my "finite element analysis" midterm 2day.   crazy.   this is the last midterm of round 1.   of course, i want to do well.   i really do.

yesterday, i actually managed to hit the gym b4 going to campus.   i squeezed in a decent werkout.   it really energised me 4 studying.   i realised that all those days in the recent weeks when i didn't go to the gym, i was really missing the energy i get from morning werkouts.   oh well... it's all a bit time investment, i s'ppose.   if i werkout in the morn, n' i don't feel energised, then i would've just wasted time.   however, if i werked out in the morn n' felt energised to study, then i might've been able to study better. *shrug* b4 i left home, in the morn, i ate a li'l bit of leftover spam curry.   then after my werkout i ate a metrx protein plus bar.   heh, yah, it tastes like choco covered playdough. X-D then in the afternoon, when my classmate friend dave wanted to get lunch, i got a strawberries wild jamba juice.   we did our "control system design" hw.   oh yah, i parked my car in the shuttle lot n' was lucky 'nuff to catch 1 of the buses that actually takes me straight to the engineering bldg, not just duncan hall of science.   classes went fine.   @ nite, after classes, i asked dave to drive me back to the shuttle lot to get my car, so i didn't hafta wait 4 the shuttle bus to take me back.   i came home n' ate dinner.   i was so hungry.   i had leftover curry, some sourdough bread w/ spinach dip, n' some uh... bulgogiish meat dish that my mom made. *shrug* i dunno what it was but the meat came from the mitsuwa japanese market.   the dish had thinly sliced beef, onion, n' jalapeño peppers... n' cilantro. *shrug* it was very good.   oh yah, my mom also cooked some miso soup w/ these fried tofu thingies.   the beautiful kaela kang came home a li'l after me n' ate dinner.

on my morn drive, on the way to the gym, i had some thoughts:
1) there r 2 kinds'f ppl that'll be unhappy in this world: 1) the kind that believe so strongly that the harder u werk, the more happiness this world will give u cos it owes it to u 4 werking hard, n' 2) ppl who think they don't need to werk @ all to get rewards in this world. *shrug* u get what i mean?
2) sometimes ppl argue which road or which route is better to take from 1 place to 'nother.   sometimes 1 route isn't necessarily faster than the other, so u just gotta take the road that makes u happier.   u can't really argue w/ a friend, in this case, 'bout which is the better road/route cos the road that makes u happy might not make ur friend as happy, etc.
dang, i wish i could've written those thoughts out more eloquently, but i guess i have a midterm to study 4, so that'll hafta do. *shrug*

u know, when i left the gym, i quickly ran into office depot to look 4 those crystal gel wrist pads 4 ur mousing wrist.   that office depot didn't have 'em.   i did c a kit 4 adding an a new fon line to ur home or office.   hrm, if they sell kits like that in office depot, then fixing the fonline in my bedroom shouldn't be that hard, right? *shrug* 1241a: oh yah, my classmate friend brian also ordered covad dsl.   he sed his installation kit came in yesterday.   man, i can't wait till we get our dsl set up! :-)

[later] 534p: i'm @ kaela's office.   i finished my "finite element analysis" midterm early.   i could've just sat there staring @ my answers, but i actually turned in my papers n' left.   well, i did sit n' check over my answers 4 a li'l while; but i couldn't sit there 4ever.   ah, it feels good to be done w/ round 1 of midterms.   :-) yay! yay! yay! well, i can't totally party 2nite or nething cos i've gotta take my car in 4 service by 800a 2morrow morn.   u know, that'll feel good.   it feels good to have ur car all fixed up into werking order.   well, we'll c... like, i dunno what they can do 'bout my tire.   what i'd like is 4 them to mount my "spare" tire onto my normal alloy wheel, n' then (as i sed b4) i can mount the new tire (when it comes in) onto the spare tire wheel until it's time to buy 3 more new wheels.   then i can exchange the "new" tire w/ the spare tire.   that i'd like, but i dunno if the guys @ the shop'll be up 4 doing tire werk 2morrow.   i just skeduled myself in 4 a 75,000 mile maintenance visit.   i 4got to mention to the guys @ the shop 'bout how i'm s'pposed to bring my car in 4 an air flow sensor recall.   however, i do believe my ol' friends @ albany subaru already fixed that prob. *shrug* i've never used this stevens creek subaru service shop b4.   i do hope they're good ppl. *shrug* we'll c.

i had a double cappuccino b4 the midterm.   i still feel the caffeine.   i had a late start to 2day.   i wish i had left the house earlier, but i just bummed 'round till lunch.   u c, i would've gone to the gym, but i told myself not to... so that i could use that time to study.   however, i just felt so lackluster... no energy!   i felt muddleheaded.   i couldn't study.   it was 2 cold.   u know, personally, i believe if i had gone to the gym, i would've felt energetic 'nuff to study. :-/ that's what i really believe.   neway, i didn't go to the gym, n' i didn't study well in the morn.   @ lunchtime, i went to kaela's office n' picked her up.   we ate lunch @ khanh's vietnamese café on winchester.   'member? we were there w/ ken n' grace a while 'go.   i ordered "khanh's gourmet delight" or sumpthin' like that.   i liked kaela's rice noodle dish better.   it cms like everytime i go there, i like other ppl's dishes better than mine.   i guess i just don't know how to order there. *shrug*   we also had some "fresh rolls."   well, in the afternoon, i studied in the library.   @ 'bout 130p, when i got to campus, i was actually able to find parking pretty easily on the 5th floor of the garage.   yesterday, my classmate friend dave told me that it's not 2 hard to find parking on the 5th or 6th floor after 100p.   i guess he's right. *shrug* my previous rule of thumb was just that it isn't 2 hard to find parking in the garage after 300p... but that, ne earlier, it's pretty hard.   *shrug* maybe it's not as bad as i had thought.   however, the spartan daily keeps printing articles 'bout the university's parking probs. *shrug*   u know, in san jo, there r a coupl'f good "independent" newspapers: the wave n' the metro.   they have pretty good articles 'bout fud, movies, musik... pop cultures... sometimes politiks.   the wave is more comical, i guess.

well, how will this weekend go?   *shrug* i'm just sooo glad to be done w/ this round of midterms!   *sigh* i do hope i did well on that "fea" midterm. <:-/ u c, it was pretty easy... so even if i do well... *shrug* i wonder if there's a curve 4 the grade.   like, in berkeley, pretty much all classes r on a gaussian curve... so u gotta be really competitive n' hope all ur classmates don't do well, etc.   i'm not sure if this prof does that kind'f curve or what. *shrug* 2nite, i do hope to go to taekwondo practice.   i did skip on tues to study.   yah, i do make some sacrifices 4 academics. :-/ i do care 'bout my studies.   when i werk hard n' do well, i really enjoy it.   uhm, i guess what i mean is that it feels good to be rewarded 4 hard werk.   *sigh* well, dang! i should wait until i get my grade 4 the test b4 saying stuff like that, right? right.

2002.10.18

joonbug's flu bug

838a: i've been waiting @ stevens creek subaru's service shop 4 the beautiful kaela kang to pick me up.   i feel sick. :-( last nite, i started feeling sick.   i was reading joon's journal entry 'bout his being sick.   i think he passed a virus to me thru the internet. :-( 'least it's not a 'puter virus.   i'd really hate that.

2002.10.19

33rd monthversary

1002p: i'm sittin' in amc mercado 20 theatre 13, waiting 4 my big fat greek wedding.   the beautiful kaela kang just came back from the concession stand w/ a large sprite.   2morrow's our 33rd monthversary. :-) 2nite, i took kaela out to dinner @ habana cuba.   yesterday evening, we went w/ grace n' ken to watch moonlight mile @ amc saratoga 14.   i picked the movie but afterwards felt so bad 4 torturing every1 w/ such a slow movie.   i think it was a good movie but a bit slow.

2002.10.20

limon

1132p: i'm typing on my handspring in the family room, while the beautiful kaela kang's typing on her werk laptop.   this is my mini.laptop, i guess.   i feel like schroeder from peanuts (the comic strip) playing on his li'l piano.   so 2day, kaela n' i went to macy's n' started our wedding registry.   well, i guess more often it's called a "bridal registry." :-/ man, take a look 'round @ wedding stuff: everything's marketted 2wards the brides!   4 the wedding registry pamphlets, there were sooo dang many pics of brides n' so few of grooms.   perhaps there was like 1 pic of the back of a groom while his bride smiled gigantically over his shoulder as they hugged n' she thought 'bout all the wonderful cookware n' toasters she's received.   why isn't there a pic of a handsome happy groom delighted w/ the nice bedsheets they just received?!

2nite, just a few mins 'go, i made our san jo bed 4 the 1st time.   yah, we rn't the cleanliest ppl still, yet we have improved greatly since we got the san jo.   sure, this is the 1st time we've washed our bedsheets since we got to san jo, but we do launder our clothes much more now.   i'm trying to buy less clothes but wear cleaner, less threadbare clothes.   u know? *shrug* neway, 2nite, i made our san jo bed 4 the 1st time, as i sed.   now that we're in san jo, we sleep on a futon, a full size futon.   up until now, i'd always slept on a twin bed.   this was the 1st time i'd ever made a non.twin size bed.   i was confused w/ the fitted sheet; it was sooo square (compared to a twin size fitted sheet).   i wasn't sure which direction i was s'pposed to orient it. *shrug* well, i think i figured it out. *shrug*

so we watched 2 movies this weekend.   u c, since i was sick, i didn't wanna do much more than watch movies.   i 4ced myself to eat quite a bit, even tho' i havef no clue why.   like, i was sick, n' my stomach felt like it was rejekting all the fud i was putting into it.   however, on fri nite, after watching moonlight mile w/ ken n' grace; we went to mimi's café in saratoga (by the amc theatre) 4 a late snack of sorts.   i thought i'd order sumpthin' small, the soup n' 0.5 sandwich.   man! i barely ate my order, yet i felt i was gonna puke up all that i ate! :-(   i really felt awful.   i had also 4ced myself to eat a pretzel w/ kaela right b4 the movie @ the theatre.   @ the theatre, i ordered a large sprite (as i think i sed b4), n' @ mimi's café i ordered a bottomless sprite n' enjoyed many free refills.

2day, after doing the bridal/wedding registry, we strolled 'round the mall.   2wards the end of our stroll, we went to aunite anne's pretzels.   i got a jalapeno pretzel, n' kaela got a sour cream n' onion pretzel.   i also ordered a medium sprite.   lemme tell u... i also had a bottle of sprite on fri @ kaela's office, where bottles of coca cola produkts r only 75 cents.   this was a big, big sprite weekend! how come they don't sponsor my life?!   look how much sprite i drink n' how much i just talked 'bout sprite! sprite, sprite, sprite.   they ought to pay me to advertise 4 them!   well... u realise why it was such a sprite weekend 4 me, right?   it's cos i've had such a furious stomach all weekend, n' i figured sprite'd piss it off the 'least. *shrug* yah, my stomach was just plain rebelious the whole weekend.   n' u know what? we didn't hit the gym a single time the whole weekend.   what the heck's gonna happen to us?!?!?! :-( i don't like this @ all, not 1 bit. :-(

did i mention i took my car into the shop on fri?   that was my main activity on fri.   i took my car into the shop n' then waited the whole day 4 they to werk on it.   i think i mentioned b4 that i brought it in 4 its 75,000 mile maintenance service.   i waited 4 an hr 4 kaela to pick me up from the dealership, but she didn't wake up.   i ended up asking the shop's shuttle driver me home but worried he wouldn't take me all the way to almaden.   well, he did; but he also had 1 other passenger.   the other passenger needed to go to mathilda in sunnyvale.   he gave the driver a bunch'f local directions, very specifik directions.... "get in this lane..." etc.   in the end, we found ourselves @ yahoo! hq.   crazy! i was @ the famous yahoo!   later, in the afternoon, i joked that i should've marched right up there n' complained 'bout all their dang popup ads.   when we left yahoo! the driver complained 'bout that passenger.   the middle eastern driver complained that indian ppl always wanna give confusing local street directions.   the driver sed the passenger should've just sed he wanted to go to yahoo!   neway, i was waaay 2 sick n' sleepy to either tell off the driver 4 making such a racist generalisation or give him good directions to my house.   he thought he knew how to get there fast, n' i just let him drive his inefficient route, while i zoned out.   of course, i'm not saying that middle eastern ppl alway say racist things r nething.   the subaru shop is mostly run by middle eastern guys.   they treat me well, gave me good service.

my big fat greek wedding dealt w/ ethnik issues much the same way many 1980s/1990s asian.am books n' films dealt w/ them.   i hope i don't spoil the movie 4 u by telloing u it's 'bout a greek woman who marries a nongreek guy.   heh, there've been many asian.am books/stories written on that topik, right? well... not 'bout greeks marrying non.greeks, but 'bout asians marrying nonasians.   it was a very enjoyable, fun movie.   in a way, i wish i had brought ken n' grace to c this movie instead of moonlight mile.   moonlight mile was a very good movie n' got many good reviews, but it was just 2 slow 4 a bunch'f youngsters like us, i guess.   i did tell kaela that phil (huang)'d love the movie 4 its musik since he really appreciates classik rock.   well... heh! why do i call 1970s rock "classik" rock?! nowadays 1980s n' 1990s rock could be called "classik" rock, right? ha ha.   neway, i think phil'd like the soundtrack to moonlight mile.   did i ever mention that the royal tenenbaums had a good soundtrack filled w/ classik rock? *shrug* neway, my big fat greek wedding deals w/ an interracial or interethnik marriage.   hrm, what do u call a greek.anglo marriage? interethnik? intraracial? how 'bout just a marriage? heh, true; but i mean, 4 the sake of aktually discussing ethnic issues, we've gotta describe it somehow, right? *sigh* well, usually, i've called korean.taiwanese relationships intraracial relationships. *shrug* does that make sense? i'm not sure.   perhaps ppl also call it interethnik. *shrug* the pt is, it isn't a relationship btwn diff races, but it is a relationship btwn 2 ethncities or nationalities.   the movie poked fun @ all the misunderstandings n' follies btwn the anglo family n' the greek family.   well, there'll always be differences in traditions from 1 family to the next.   i mean, unless u have an incestuous marriage, u'll have 2 families w/ 2 diff sets of traditions to some extent, right?

on fri, since i was sick n' cold; i didn't wear my usually clothes but got all bundled up, looking like i was going snowboarding.   i wore black draw string pants, my brownish green polar fleece, n' a black santa cruz snowboards beanie.   i really felt like i was all bundled up 4 snowboarding.   in the afternoon, kaela had to go to werk.   i considered staying home, but i knew i had to pick up my car in the later afternoon.   uhm, we're still talkin' 'bout what i did on fri here.   i dunno if u'r still reading.   in fact, i sort'f lost concentration 4 a while cos i was watching kron 4's bay area backroads as they featured ernie reyes sr's west coast karate skools.   what i was talkin 'bout was how it was kind'f a relief to dress a li'l grungy on fri cos i'm always dressing so yuppie these days, huh?   it's just that i've become so used to needing to look professional that now that i'm a grad student, i just figure i've gotta still dress like an engineer. *shrug* i think i'm fine w/ that, but hrm... i don't wanna be 2 much'f a babbit, right?   last week, i saw a sticker stuck to a trash can on campus, it sed "conformity equals midlife crisis."   let us all repeat that 1 more time: "conformity equals midlife crisis."   'gain, "conformity equals midlife crisis."   hrm, does conformity also equal 0.25 life crisis??? *shrug* personally, i think 0.25 life crisis is not the same thing as midlife crisis, nope.   thus, i think conformity does not also equal 0.25 life crisis.   neway, shouldn't i be out battling conformity n' smashing imperialism? *sigh* i got back to san jo, n' i toldju: i don't wanna be the same stoopid young punk i was the last time i lived in san jo.   nope, i sure don't.   4 1 thing, i don't wanna be all fat like i was the last time i lived in san jo.   ha ha.   but seriously, this is a serious topik.   sure, conformity keeps u from become a weirdo freak punk, right?   however, conformity also feeds right into consumerism, right?   don'tchu know? consumerism is bad.

ain't that just the wrong thing to say when the economy sucks as bad as it does?   instead, i should be begging u all to drinks sprite!   go out! spend! spend, spend, spend!   last nite, i read some great articles in wired magazine 'bout the tech industry.   i really want nelson to read these articles 'bout the wi.fi. industry; he really should.   i know he's interested in that stuff.   wired is actually a pretty interesting magazine.   go out n' buy urself ur own copy... n' read it while enjoying a cool, refreshing sprite! :-) ,p>what time is it? 1242a, mon 2002.10.21.   ok, i'm not s'pposed to be typing yesterday's journal entry 2day.   go out n' enjoy ur sprite.

2002.10.21

getting to know u

1140p: i 4got to mention that i have a new version of the gbook up.   it's been up 4 a while now, but i didn't mention it.   already, 1 guest signed it, some1 named rhea from ann arbor, michigan, my birthplace.   thank u, rhea.   well, i usually fill out the gbook questions here on my journal 1st, but i guess rhea beat me to answering them 1st. oh well.   i'll still go 'head n' answer them 2nd:

name: beno hwang
e.mail: beno@benomix.com
homepage url: http://www.benomix.com
r u over the hill? 1) no; i'm better now than i ever was n' am getting better each day. 2) yes; i used to be smarter. 3) yes; i used to be more athletic. 4) yes; i used to be more attractive. 5) yes; i used to be more talented. 1) no; i'm better now than i ever was n' am getting better each day.
how do u drive? 1) i'm a demon on wheels, 2) like a granny, 3) like a great grandmutha, 4) like a bad @$$ mutha, 5) very carefully, 6) asleep, 7) under the influence... of beno! :-) 5) very carefully
do u casually swear? 1) f@ck yah!, 2) hell damn fart, 3) yes indeedy, 4) no; that's hecka lame!, 5) only in a nonenglish language, 6) i refrain from swearing 6) i refrain from swearing
u would rather live in a: 1) big city, 2) suburb, 3) rural area. 2) suburb
what will u buy 2day?
it's 1153p.   i don't expect to buy nething more 2day... altho' i could buy sumpthin' on.line. *sigh* that's the danger of on.line shopping.   what will i buy 2morrow?   i'll prob'ly buy some lunch, n' i also think we need some seasoning to make soondubu.
please quote me a song lyric:
the 1st thing that comes to mind is: "there are flies on the windscreen.   there are lambs gone to slaughter.   death is everywhere." cheerful, rn't i? :-) those r lines from depeche mode's "fly on the windscreen."   on sun, while i was in structure in valley fair, they played the old 80s classik mod song "behind the wheel" by depeche mode.   i loitered in the store just to hear the song.   it's not like i don't have the cd.
additional comments:
how can i say that i'm not over the hill, yet i drive carefully n' don't swear?   isn't it that if i were young n' reckless, i'd be fast n' furious?!?!?!   that makes no sense!   well, how can i fool u? how can i pull the wool over ur eyes? of course, i've suffered a 0.25 life crisis n' have pondered if i'm over the hill.   wait! when 1 suffers a 0.25 life crisis, he/she does not ponder if he/she's over the hill!   a 0.25 life crisis victim just wonders if he/she has wasted his/her young/college yrs n' worries if he/she'll ever make sumpthin' of him/herself n' moreover if he/she'll be able to find stability... even financial stability.   that's what 0.25 life crises r 'bout!   well, i have wondered if i was smarter in the past.   i have wondered if i was more athletic, attractive, n/or talented in the past.   sure, that's just what i do: i ponder!

1202a, 2002.10.22: oh, dang! it's now tues, n' i shouldn't be updating yesterday's journal entry right now. oh well...   well, there u have it: i filled out the gbook questions.   now, it's ur turn! :-) thanks.

2002.10.22

evening dead time

623p: i'm @ the beautiful kaela kang's office, killing time b4 my taekwondo practice.   a few yrs 'go, i always had time to kill @ home btwn werk n' taekwondo practice.   then, my werk skedule got shifted later, so i was more often rushing from werk to taekwondo practice.   now, i kill time 'gain.   this dead time used to make me sleepy, n' it might be making me sleepy 'gain.

what's been going on in my life? i haven't been keeping u very well updated.   let's c, where did i leave off??? i guess i should discuss mon.   how was mon? uhm, i woke up later than i wanted to.   i went to the gym but had the shortest werkout ever.   kaela told me to meet her @ her office @ noon, n' it was already 1100a as i was approaching the gym on the road.   i skipped ne cardio werkout n' just did weights n' a li'l stretching.   i showered, filled my car w/ some gas, n' headed over to kaela's office, where i sat in the parking lot n' waited 4 'bout an hr till i realised that she wasn't gonna meet me.   later, she called to tell me she was stuck in a mtg.   i went by myself to eat a large falafel n' a large sprite @ falafel's drive.in.   then i went to campus n' werked on hw.   there, i met up w/ my classmate friend dave.   we werked on stuff till like 400p, when our friend brian joined us.   since dave was hungry n' i was thirsty, we went to cali deli to get vietnamese sandwiches n' drinks.   i drank a blue ox w/ my $1.50 ham n' pate sandwich.   i actually wanted to get a jamba juice instead, but since dave sed he was wanted vietnamese sandwiches, i figured that i hadn't had 1 in a long time n' agreed to go.   after eating, dave n' brian wanted to go play pool.   me, i didn't wanna play pool.   i followed them to the student union pool hall.   i studied, while they played.   then i ducked out to get a drink (cos i was still thirsty) n' went to class early.   i realised that sjsu doesn't sell coke produkts, just pepsi produkts.   i had to settle 4 a sierra mist instead of sprite.   funny, most burger kings sell coke produkts, but the sjsu 1 sells pepsi produkts.   after class, i went home.   kaela n' i ate pasta leftovers.

2day, tues, i went to the gym in the morn n' had a decent werkout; decent but not as good as some of the werkouts i had in the previous coupl'f weeks.   then @ noon, i headed over to kaela's office.   i drove her to ringer hut "nagasaki champon" 4 lunch.   a long, long time 'go, my dad brought me to that japanese noodle house.   i'd cn the place many times, over n' over 'gain, since moving back.   i noticed it sez "nagasaki champon."   @ 1st, i thought they prob'ly misspelled "champion," but then i thought: "wait! maybe 'champon' is japanese 'jjambbong'!!!" ah, i c! jjambbong (chao ma mien)... yah, that makes sense.   well, yah, after eating "spicy champon" 4 lunch, i have no doubt 'bout that.   we were so dang stuffed after lunch.   then i went straight to the library n' werked on my hw.   i got much done.   then i went to "finite element analysis" class.   i thought we'd get our midterms back, but we didn't.

this morn, b4 i went to the gym, i dug thru my cd collection n' realised, "dang! i have some really valuable, rare depeche mode stuff!" i some promo cds n' rare imports... all old stuff.

hey! ppl signed my gbook! :-) melanie sit (a fellow leland alum) n' joon signed it.   thank u very much!   u r good, nice ppl!

a few weeks 'go, i realised that 1 of the last club dj gayo compilation cd i got has a track from harisu.   do u know harisu?   she's the most famous korean transexual singer/actress/model out there, i think.   when i listened to her song 'gain, i realised that i might've thought it was a guy singing b4.   not to be mean, but she sort'f sounds like a guy trying to sound like a gurl... sort'f like cher! ...not that cher's a man or nething... i mean, i like cher's musik as much as ne other straight guy can... which is more than it sounds, really.

1133p: so kaela went to taekwondo practice 2.   that makes me happy.   we had a good practice w/ lots'f poomsae.   sure, @ this skool, there r a few diffs in the poomsae; but, eh! i don't mind.   i'm just happy that i can keep practicing taekwondo. :-)   after practice, kaela n' i got boba drinks from fantasia.   i realised that fantasia is a really kewl name cos it also sez that the café is an asian place: fant asia.   neat, huh?   i'm glad we get to go there often after taekwondo practices.   2nite, like many taekwondo nites, i got to do a li'l weightlifting cos they got some weights @ the dojang.   well... heh! i also do plenty of weightlifting @ the gym! heh... but it's fun to lift w/ other guys sometimes.   definitely, it's more motivating than lifting by myself.   when we came home, we ate some chips n' salsa n' watched the simpsons.   we also had french bread n' spinach dip.   geez, those things r party fud.   2nite, i received an e.mail 'bout the leland hi skool class of 1993 10 yr reunion.   crazy, huh?   since i'm back to living in san jo, i always have my eyes open 4 ppl from the past that i recognise.

this morn, when i went to the gym, i 4got to bring a change of underwear.   ugh, that has become 1 of my big pet peeves, having to rewear underwear cos i 4got to bring a fresh pair w/ me to the gym. >:-( 'member: supermike always used to 4get to bring a change of underwear w/ him to taekwondo practice.   then he'd take a shower after practice n' talk 'bout how he'd hafta go "commando" 4 the rest of the nite.   n' that was back in the day when we'd always go to 168 or koko house after practice... no exceptions.   that was good.   it was good to get out n' go out w/ taekwondo friends.   well, this morn, i knew i couldn't go commando after the gym cos i had a whole skoolday ahead of me.   also, i knew i'd be going to taekwondo practice in the evening.   i wouldn't wanna do taekwondo w/o underwear!

while i did my hw in the library, i listened to musik w/ my muvo.   i used my handspring to measure the bpms of songs.   that's what i gotta do as a dj, u know?   i tried to tap quietly, so i wouldn't annoy ppl.   u c, the bpm measuring program requires its user to tap on the screen to the beat of the song.   i wanna make a new mix cd soon.   i really do.   do u know what pioneer cdj1000 cd turntables r?   u c, i have the pioneer cdj500-ii cd turntables.   the cdj1000s r much better.   i wish i could have them, but eh! oh well.

2002.10.23

gaeul

932a: this morn, i woke up w/o the alarm.   the alarm must've gone off, but both the beautiful kaela kang n' i must've slept right thru it. :-( i had a dream that both kaela n' i were in college n' were taking prof. alan dundes's intro to folklore classes.   we had some kind'f term paper or projekt due, but i was very behind.   i think we were both kind'f lagging, but kaela managed to turn hers in on time, but i was still writing.   we were s'pposed to turn the papers in @ the lekture, but lekture had already started n' i was still writing.   we were werking in a 'puter lab... but then the 'puter lab was also a discussion classroom.   the lekture ended n' a gsi came into the discussion room to start a discussion sektion, but i was still there werking... but i think i pretended i wasn't.   n' then there was some big ordeal 'bout my having to carry a broom 'round campus.   i gave up on writing the paper 4 the time being, knowing that i'd be deducted a 3rd of a grade 4 turning it in late.   i left the classroom n' carried a broom 'round campus.   i saw some berkeley taekwondo ppl w/ master jang.   weird dream.   this weekend, i had some interesting dream, but i 4got it.

well, it's wed morn.   this week is progressing fast, eh?   this at, the berkeley taekwondo demo team has some hi profile demo in sf's union square.   i'm not sure exactly what it's 'bout cos they must've gone over the details in class/practice but not over e.mail.   wow, it's good that they're carrying on w/o kaela n' me now.   they had a big demo 4 the cal v. ucla (futball game) pep rally.   'member? we had a big demo during the 0.5time of the cal v. ucla basketball game.   i wonder if kaela n' i might be able to make it to this upcoming union square demo. *shrug*

s'pposedly, our covad dsl kit comes in 2morrow.   that's gonna be kewl! :-) however, uhm... i gotta buy a router. :-/ should i just get 1 from fry's? *shrug* maybe so.   there's gonna be cables all over the 2nd story of our house unless 1) we fix the fon jack in my room, 2) we fix the fon jack in my sister's room, n/or 3) we punch out a hole btwn my closet n' my sister's room's closet n' connect the netwerk thru there.   a while 'go, when i starting using the covad dial up, i realised that covad is part of qwest communications.   u c, a long, long time 'go, i had qwest long distance 4 a very short time.   i didn't ask 4 it.   they somehow just switched me onto their service.   this was back when master jang was staying @ my old hillegass place, n' i wondered if it happened cos master jang used my fon using a long distance code thingy cos maybe some other host told him to use 10 10 this that this that when calling long distance.   however, later ppl told me that some long distance companies did that, switched u onto their service w/o telling u.   i think later, a law was passed to ban that; but i guess qwest did that to me.   oh well, i guess i've sort'f 4given them 4 that since we're gettin covad dsl. *shrug*

can u believe it's wed, 2002.10.23?!?! we're well into autumn/fall now.   this weekend, we'll fall back; daylite savings time ends.   crazy, crazy, crazy.   nowadays, morns n' nites r colder in san jo than b4.   during the summer, sometimes morns r a bit brisk n' chilly; but then it warms up n' doesn't get chilly 'gain till the next morn.   in the winter, it's often cold in san jo... 'cept 4 maybe during the middle of the day.   it does get cold in san jo.   however, my freshman yr of hi skool, during winter break, i wore shorts 4 2 weeks straight btwn dec n' jan.   crazy, eh?   that's how it is in san jo!   *sigh* i'd like all my berkeley friends to come down to san jo sometime.   i was very happy that roland n' master jang came down that time; very happy.   i gotta say, even tho' i do have friends in san jo; in general, it's quite a bit lonelier here than in berkeley. :-( it's not that i don't have friends down here in san jo, but i was just surrounded by comrades in berkeley cos'f taekwondo.   it's not that san jo isn't a kewl, hip town w/ young ppl.   of course, it is!   there r kewl, hip ppl n' kewl, hip things to do.   i'm just still kind'f new to this town, even tho' i lived here 4 13 yrs prior to this. :-/ or is it that things r never the same 1nce u leave ur college town?

well, berkeley's not ur usual college town!!!   ur usual college town doesn't have fun stuff to do; the students gotta make the fun.   the thing w/ berkeley is that it does have fun stuff to do, n' that greatly amplified by the fact that it's so close to sf n' the south bay.   i will never ever stop hating how some clueless berkeley students say things as horribly stoopid as "there's nuthin' to do in berkeley."   argh! that is absolutely the dumbest thing ne berkeley student could say.   'member, those r the students that don't get out, that just stay in their dorm rooms n' don't explore the bay area.   geez! the bay area is so rich in hip activities, kewl scenes, n' happenin' places, as well as great nature.

well, it's autumn.   as i sed, next weekend, we'll turn back our clocks an hr.   then the week after that, we'll have halloween.   kaela n' i'll be in socal w/ her family 4 the 1st weekend of nov.   kaela's going down to socal 4 her werk, n' then i'll join her in socal 4 the weekend.

i have some projekts lined up 4 myself: 1) i wanna make a new mix cd, as i keep saying, n' 2) i wanna redesign my index page.   yah... i want sumpthin' new.   that nutritional facts table has been copied by every1!   i dunno... i keep trying to think of a good gimmick similar that 1... but then 'gain, maybe i should skip the gimmick n' just design a decent index page. *shrug* i dunno.

i also've been wondering if i should try to find a holiday job.   i'll be on winter break after finals.   i wonder if i should just find a quick, easy job in the retail or service industry. *shrug* i don't think my holiday skedule'll allow a real engineering job... so maybe i could earn a few bucks doing sumpthin' non.career.oriented, like werking in the mall or sumpthin'. *shrug* what'd be better? werkin' in a clothes store or werkin' in a 'puter store? or what else is there? a snowboard store?   i know more than most the guys in the snowboard stores.   just the other day, i heard a guy @ tri.city tell a kid that freestyle boards r stiffer than freeride boards. whuh?! yah, freestyle boards r stiff @ the nose n' tail 4 ollies n' nollies, but they r more flexi in the body 4 4giveness in landing jumps.   why wouldju want a stiff board in a pipe?!?!   freeride boards r stiff so u can carve n' go fast down big mtns.   what was he thinking?!   yah, maybe it'd be kewl to werk in a snowboard store.   i just wonder what'd pay off the most.   like, i'd also look 4ward to getting fringe benefits: discounts n' stuff.   i dunno.   should i do that?   it seriously does not feel good not having ne income @ the moment!

this morn, i did the laundry n' put it out to dry.   now it's 1023a.   i wanna go to the gym.   after lunching w/ kaela, i'll finish up my "control system design" hw.   i've got most of it done.

2002.10.24

gaeul donghwa

218p: i'm in the mech engring lab right now.   oh, i didn't really updatechu on what happened yesterday, in case u care by ne chance.   hrm, what happened yesterday?   in the morn, i went to the gym.   since i knew i was running late n' wanted to meet the beautiful kaela kang 4 lunch, i went to the meridian/hamilton bally's instead of the aborn 1.   i do like the aborn 1 better cos it's newer n' has better equipment n' a pool; but the meridian/hamilton 1 is in a much more central location.   really, i don't hang out in east san jo much; i only go out there 4 the gym.   well, yesterday, 4 lunch, i brought kaela over to hangook market, 1 of the big korean supermarkets on el camino real.   we ate in the deli area... i dunno whatchu'd call that area.   neway, it was fast n' cheap.   we had dduhkbokki n' kimbap.   we bought some soondubu yangnyuhm, seasoning 4 soondubu.   i also bought some hodoo gwaja, those li'l, round walnut / red bean cookies.   they r very cute, n' these fresh 1s come in a cute li'l red box w/ a string.   after lunch n' buying those groceries, we went to the bank.   kaela needed to open some cds.   it's the same bank i go to.   man, dealing w/ $$$ stuff... it's sort'f scarier now that i'm not werking.   i didn't worry 'bout $$$ back then so much.   me, i really don't need to be a rich man.   i just wanna live com4tably n' be able to provide 4 my future family n' my wife. :-) u know how it goes 4 me.

well, after i dropped kaela back off, i went to skool. (oh, btw: yesterday n' the day b4, while i was @ the gym, i did precor in reverse just 4 variety.) i finished my "control system design" hw in the library w/ dave n' brian.   after hw, dave n' i looked 4 a projekt topik 4 that class's paper projekt thingy.   b4 our "engineering analysis" class, i got a pumpkin smash smoothie from jamba juice.   we went to class.   on sat, i might hafta help my "control system design" prof w/ the sjsu open house.   i'd get extra credit, but she's picking students to help based upon who's got the lowest grade... so i dunno if she'll pick me.   we'll c.

last nite, kaela n' i ate frozen pizza 4 dinner.   uhm, obviously we didn't eat frozen pizza... *roll eyes* baked frozen pizza. *sigh* neway, it was a chicken pizza, but i added 2 cans of anchovies.   we like anchovies.   last nite, i installed trillian msgr on my 'puter, since we'll have dsl soon, so i'll have 'nuff bandwidth to handle occasionally chatting w/ friends.   trillian combines y! msgr, aol im (or aim), icq, msn msgr, n' irq.   i installed it n' immediately began talkin' to nobody.   how come when i am online, none of my friends wanna talk to me???

well, this morn, i talked to johnny chang.   he's now engaged, u know. :-) upes, was i not s'pposed to say that? :-/ i'm sure he doesn't mind.   u don't go 'round hiding engagements, do u?   i just didn't wanna be a gossip, but engagements r s'pposed to be publicly announced.   in fact, isn't it a law that u hafta announce weddings??? isn't it?   well, in ne case, u can't just have a secret relationship, then a secret engagment, then a secret wedding, then a secret marriage, then a secret baby, then a secret child, then a secret family, etc., etc. *sigh* that's just not gonna happen.

well, i left the house later than i wanted to this morn.   i werked out @ the meridian/hamilton bally's 'gain.   this time, i had time 4 a very quick shower b4 picking up kaela.   we went to valley fair.   we had lunch @ panda express.   the iconic pandas 4 very cute.   then we looked 'round the mall.   kaela bought a pair of pants from express.   she had to go back cos the ca$hier didn't give her her $25 credit certificate, their li'l promotion dealie.   she looked 4 her receipt but 1st accidentally pulled out her panda express receipt.   i realised that panda express is where pandas go to buy clothes.   i really like those pandas.

well, now it's 239p.   i'm in the mech engring lab.   i have my 1 class 2day, my "finite element analysis" class.   we didn't get our midterms back on tues, so maybe we'll get them back 2day. *shrug*   2nite, i'll go to taekwondo practice.

1132p: i am now typing this while connected via dsl! woohoo! 2nite, i got the covad dsl werking! :-) well, how do i resuming talkin' 'bout excatly what i did 2day?   ok, i had my "finite element analysis" class, n' i was majorly bummed: my prof made a big mistake in grading my exam, so i got a lower score than i know i deserve!   it's not like i failed the exam, but since it was only a 50 pt exam, the 7 pts that he took off cos he didn't realise i drew the mirror image of the diagram he expected to c really hurt. :-( i was sooo dang bummed.   i could barely concentrate during lab.   then after class, i was so depressed.   i went to jamba juice n' got a peenya kowlada smoothie to try to cheer myself up. :-(   then i drove over to kaela's office, where i sort'f dozed off.   i felt horrible n' lost track of time.   i ended up ditching taekwondo practice.   however, kaela n' i went to fry's.   i was gonna buy a router there.   i didn't find the router i wanted (it was out of stock), but i bought kaela a wedding mag n' some turkey jerky, which we like to buy from fry's.   then kaela went home.   me, i went to best buy to buy a d.link router 4 the same price fry's was selling that cheapie generic router.   then i went to the bank to depo$it a check.   then i went home.   kaela n' i cooked soondubu jjigae.   we were a li'l bummed cos the tofu wasn't soft like it was s'pposed to be.   neway, it turned out ok.   after dinner, i werked on the dsl.   i had a li'l bit of probs getting it to werk w/ the router, but i figured it out fast 'nuff, i guess.   woohoo! now we're all hooked up! :-) what can i dl? :-)

2002.10.25

exhibitionist

837p: so 2day, the big thing i did was present my prof's robotics exhibits @ the sjsu expo.   it was quite an experience.   i just stood 'round all day @ a makeshift booth n' explained robots all afternoon to passerbys.   it was a li'l diff from nething i've done in the past.   i felt like i was selling stuff, but i wasn't.

so @ the beginning of the day, i went to the gym.   i werked out hard cos i was frustrated w/ my "finite element analysis" midterm situation.   i found out my prof had office hrs yesterday evening, but i was all depressed n' stuff, 'member?   i should've went to his office hrs yesterday; but now, i'll prob'ly hafa wait till next tues.   neway, i was frustrated n' werked out hard.   then i drove from the aborn gym to the beautiful kaela kang office to meet her 4 lunch.   on the way, my "control system design" prof called me n' sed she needed me to help her w/ the expo exhibit @ 130p.   it was already 1230p.   kaela n' i had a quick lunch @ falafels drive in.   then i hurried off to the sjsu events center.   i stayed there presenting till 700p.

2002.10.26

uneventful

1207p: i just saw a bumper sticker that sez: "i [heart] jesus," but the red heart was all sun faded.   what if some1 took a sharpie marker n' wrote in "am" over the faded heart.   ha ha.   ok, 'nuff w/ the sacriligious humour.

900p: ok, this is the most uneventful weekend i've had in a long time.   oh well...   it's sort'f relaxing.   sure, it's sort'f disturbing n' scary that we've been home most of the day; but i'll try to think of it as relaxing.

2002.10.27

bbiak bbiak

158a: daylite savings time will end in 2 mins! :-)   then it'll be 100a 'gain.   funny, huh?   neway, i had to share w/ u a pic i took yesterday.   u c, even tho' i had a mostly uneventful day n' stayed home 4 most of the day doing useless stuff on the internet, i did c this ultimately cute sight.   ooh! it's 100a now! i just went back in time! :-) ha ha.   neway, yah, lemme show u the pic:

if u can read korean n' know stuff 'bout japanime, then u know that this scene is taken from the latest disney promoted film spirited away.   i guess in korea they call it "sen gwa chihiro." *shrug* my guess is that the li'l gurl's name is chihiro... n' sen? maybe sen's the name of some cute fuzzy that tags 'long w/ her. *shrug* i dunno.   neway, i stumbled upon a korean site that had a muzik video 4 a musikal piece from the movie's soundtrack.   it wasn't a trailer 4 the movie, just a muzik vid.   neway, i tried to get a screen capture from that scene w/ the chicks taking a bath (hrm, that makes the movie sound not so innocent! :-/), but the web page wouldn't let me.   thus, i actually took a digipic of the screen!   yah, a bit primitive, but i was desperate!   look @ those chicks!   they r very cute.   i've got to c the movie now.   however, i hear most theatres r playing a dubbed version. :-(   *sigh* i heard 1 amc in sf is playing the subtitled version, either kabuki or 1000 van ness.   i wish i could c it subtitled instead of dubbed.   well, after cing those chicks, i think i'll watch either version... just to c the chicks.

yesterday, the 1st thing i did was go to the post office to send off a visor edge to motorola startac/v8160 internet cable i sold over ebay.   it's better to sell stuff over ebay than to throw stuff out, u know?   i also sent out a benomix4jip cd to jason (wsboi84 from bronx's junkyard forums).   yah, can u believe i'm still passing those cds out?   i made that back in march/april.   i really wanna make a new cd.   then i came home.   then the beautiful kaela kang called me up n' told me to meet her @ the bank to open up a bank acct w/ her.   then we had lunch.   she sed she wanted to go to the olive garden, so we did.   it was a pretty nice lunch.   i tried the mixed grill, which is skewered chicken n' italian sausage.   kaela had this tortellini dish.   then we just went home.   kaela had to make some fon calls 4 werk.   that's what she's been doing lately, tons of fon calling 4 werk.   so i just did stuff online, messed 'round a li'l w/ some musik mixing, n' chatted w/ joon online.   that's how i killed the afternoon n' evening... up until we realised the simpsons halloween marathon was going on.   we started watching 'round 730p.   u know i really like the simpsons.   we ate leftovers 4 dinner.   we stayed home.   we watched tv.   heh, this is unlike me, isn't it?   however, 4 some strange reason i was ok w/ it. *shrug* *sigh* what's wrong w/ me?   well, i know it's really cold.   i'm sort'f in hibernation mode.   i don't feel that active this weekend.   fri n' sat nite: we didn't do nething.   fri nite, we were @ kaela's office.   kaela werked on her stuff, n' i just sat there doing nuthin'.   that's how fri nite went.   then we went home.   hrm... we sound boring, huh?   we didn't really eat dinner, just refreshments from some 4mal vip party reception thingy that they had @ the sjsu expo.   my prof told me to get some fud from the party.   it was a decently 4mal event, so i felt kind'f weird sneaking in just 4 fud, but later, after most'f the vips left, kaela n' i went n' got some horsd'oevres.   that was pretty much our dinner.   well... heh... the good thing 'bout not going out n' just sittin' @ home doing nuthin' is that we don't spend ne $$$.

that's starting to be a bigger n' bigger issue 4 me... do u know what it is?   it's this: when i moved off to berkeley i went to college, then graduted, n' then got a decent job.   i werked, i made $$$, n' i now n' then followed supermike's advice not to torture myself but to go out n' sort'f give myself the life i deserve 4 werking as an engineer... that sort'f thing.   now that i'm in san jo, i'm not werking, just going to skool.   'member? i really don't wanna feel like i'm right back where i was b4 i went off to berkeley n' everything.   yah, back then i was a hi skool student.   i didn't really have much of a job n' the economy was also really (4 lack of a better wurd) $#!++y in those days.   i 'member, i was 2 cheap to buy batteries 4 my discman that i wanted to use in my car, so i was always struggling to power it up w/ whatever old batteries i could scrounge up.   during the teknoboom, while werking as an engineer n' living in berkeley, i didn't worry 'bout things like batteries.   eh, but i'm trying to teach myself to live a li'l more modest life, the grad students' life...   ha! but what is that?   many of my fellow grad students either have some engineering werk that pays off decently well or 'least $$$ saved up from the engineering job they had b4 recently getting laid off.   engineering grad students rn't necessarily the proverbial starving students.   it really varies.   i always tell myself, if i were living in a box, i wouldn't worry 'bout dsl connections n' batteries 4 a discman. no no no.   i'm so dang fortunate; i know.   however, every1 told me it'd be hard to go back to skool after werking cos i'd get used to the better standard of living etc.   yup, it's true.   it's very true 4 engineers.   u go from being a student, to having a decent salary, n' then back to being a student... w/o that decent salary.   i dunno.   i really think i should find some kind'f temp werk 4 the time btwn my last final n' the start of next semester.   but what?!

i tried to update my hotjobs résumé fri nite, but the hotjobs server kept messing up on me.   eventually i gave up.   i wonder what kind'f werk i could possibly find 4 that short time frame.   in the end, maybe i can only find retail/service jobs. *shrug* i dunno.   151p: ok, i was just looking on craigslist 4 stuff.   eh, not 2 much stuff on there.   there was a petsitting job that sounds kind'f fun!   as i sed b4 i'm not necessarily looking 4 a career.oriented job... cos i don't wanna feel 2 much pressure.   skool is really my main priority right now.   really, i'm only taking 3 classes right now, so i know i really should do well.   i've really gotta do well.

i have 2 projekts 4 skool to think 'bout this weekend: 1) an report about an already written control systems paper n' 2) a finite element analysis projekt.   i'm werking on the control systems report w/ my classmate friend dave, since we've gotta partner off 4 that 1.   the finite element analysis projekt is an individual projekt.   we've gotta pick some multi.part produkt/machine/structure n' do fea on it.   well, what i think i really wanna do is a snowboard binding.   however, i dunno if i'll end up doing that... so i'm thinking of other produkts or machines.   i'm not so interested in werking w/ structures; i was never much of a civil engineering kind'f guy, u know? *shrug* i was thinking, "what always breaks on me that i've gotta replace?"   well, how 'bout my sunglasses? heh.   however, i dunno if i'd be able to model sunglasses 2 well... 'specially the wireframe kind i have. *shrug* i dunno.

beno sez hi to joon while chatting w/ him online on sat evening.


2002.10.28

not totally antisocial

203p: i'm in the mech engr 'puter lab.   wow, it's mon already, eh?   the weekend really flew by.   well, we didn't have a totally antisocial weekend.   on sun, the beautiful kaela kang n' i hung out w/ nelson, grace, n' ken.   we had lunch @ uh... pepper steak café?   is that what it's called?   i 4get, but it was a chinese café that served lots'f diff grilled meat dishes w/ a side of some kind'f very peppery gravy.   it was pretty good.   yah, it was nice to have some social interaction on sun.   then kaela n' i went to her werkplace.   she couldn't do her werk cos the door to her part of the office was locked.   then we went to crate & barrel in santana row.   it's a huge crate & barrel.   we couldn't stay there long cos it was late.   oh yah, we werked out @ the gym in morn, of course.   well, we had to stop by target b4 that...   so yah, we didn't have much time @ crate & barrel.   we hurried home to meet my family 4 dinner.   grace, steve, n' mason came over.   my mom bought some plates of sushi n' some other japanese fud.   we also had a nice strawberry cake.

2day, i woke up ok, i guess.   when kaela went off to werk, man, i really wanted to stay in the warm bed; but i got up.   it took me a li'l while to get out of the house cos i was printing out some stuff 4 skool.   then i went to the meridian n' hamilton gym.   i werked out there 4 an hr or so... maybe a li'l more.   i did stairmaster instead of precor just 4 ol' time's sake.   i did some lifting.   i realised yesterday that when i do 2 weightlifting exercises that use the same muscle, i feel like i'm getting a better werkout.   is that true?   like, if i do 3 sets of bench press n' then do some tricep extensions n' some pec flies, then i feel like i get a better werkout.   is that true?   maybe roland can give me a good answer.   he knows stuff like this.   i couldn't take a shower @ the gym cos the showers were broken. :-(   i'm, uh, stinky.   kaela n' i went to togo's in the pruneyard mall 4 a quick lunch.   then we went to her office, i printed out a hw assignment, then i came to campus, where i am now.

so last nite, the sf giants lost the world series to the anaheim angels.   yah, it's nice that the angels finally got their world series victory.   as a longtime bay area guy, i feel a li'l disappointed, but 'least a cali team won.

last week, while @ the east san jo gym, i was watching news while on the precor.   i heard 'bout the minnesota senator that died in the plane crash, sen. paul wellstone.   from the tv footage, he cmed like a really nice guy.   of course, i never met the guy or even heard of him b4 he died; but i dunno... he looked really humble n' kind, u know?   i hope he was cos it's good to have politicians like that.   man, we'll be having elections very soon.   crazy, huh?   i've looked thru the sample ballot n' have thought 'bout who n' what i'll be voting 4.   this thurs is halloween.   time flies.

2002.10.30

chang.lin tien dies @ 67.

838a: ok, i've been studying n' doing hw lately, so i haven't had so much time to update.   i guess i've also been bizzy just living life in general.   well, i don't have much time right now, so i'll try to quickly summarise what i've been doing.

however, b4 i go on to tell u what i've been doing, i need to pass on the sad, sad news to all of u that 4mer uc berkeley chancellor prof chang.lin tien passed 'way this morn. :-(   he was diagnosed w/ a brain tumor 2 yrs 'go, n' i think he died from sumpthin' related to that.   it's really sad 4 me to hear this cos i definitely really respekted chancellor tien.   i had the privelege of talkin' to him several times on the uc berkeley campus.   here, here's the possibly the earliest article i can find on the chancellor's death: "chang-lin tien, uc berkeley chancellor from 1990-97 and an internationally known engineering scholar, dies at age 67."   the article's from the uc berkeley website.   i can't find an article on y! news or sfgate yet.   well, chancellor tien was the nicest chancellor i ever met.   the 1st time i got to talk to him was the very 1st day of skool 4 me @ uc berkeley when he came up to my group, which was actually all the leland hi skool graduates from my yr who went to uc berkeley n' were gathered to check.in w/ each other during the 1st day of skool.   i think there was like 43 of us... maybe more, i 4get.   i think the next time i got to talk to the chancellor was during the summer after my soph yr.   the chancellor saw me in the golden bear café w/ a cast on my left hand.   he asked me what happened to my hand, n' i told him 'bout how i broke it @ a taekwondo tournament (which was actually held @ the sjsu events center).   i saw him after that 'round campus here n' there.   he always went to sporting events n' to the library during finals (to wish students good luck on finals).   later, i saw him in etcheverry (the mech eng bldg) now n' then.   i was very disappointed that i didn't get to have his signature on my berkeleydiploma cos i graduated in 1998, a yr after he stepped down as chancellor.   i'm very sad he died.   i'd say he was definitely an inspiration as a great engr who got involved w/ matters that pertained to greater society, not just the engring world.

ok, well, i'll get on to listing off what's been going on very briefly: