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        riddles >> what am i >> In youth, a morning dew... (easy)
        
(Message started by: raven on Jan 25^th, 2004, 10:11pm)

Title: In youth, a morning dew... (easy)
Post by raven on Jan 25^th, 2004, 10:11pm

In youth, a morning dew,
with age, a murky mire;
Seen, shows our dreams come true,
or burned on history's pyre.

When close, is clear at hand,
when far, seems but a blur;
When young, seems pale and bland,
when old, makes passions stir.

??? ~Raven

My first, apologies if it's overly simple or vague.
Feedback is appreciated.

~Raven

Title: Re: In youth, a morning dew... (easy)
Post by John_Gaughan on Jan 25^th, 2004, 10:13pm

Is it [hide]water[/hide]?

Title: Re: In youth, a morning dew... (easy)
Post by raven on Jan 25^th, 2004, 10:35pm

Sorry, in trying to be clever I'm afraid I've instead been misleading.
I'll have to learn to shake my poetic analogies.
My next will be 'cleaner', with more closely related clues.

~Raven

Title: Re: In youth, a morning dew... (easy)
Post by Icarus on Jan 26^th, 2004, 4:01pm

Without knowing the answer, I can't say for sure, but I think you are being too hard on yourself. John was attempting an answer, but it is one that I would say does not most of the lines.

The puzzle is certainly not too simplistic. Poetic analogies are the bread and butter of these riddles, so please don't shake them too much! I will await the answer (give us some time!) before judging for myself whether you were truly misleading, and deciding how good the puzzle is.

Title: Re: In youth, a morning dew... (easy)
Post by John_Gaughan on Jan 27^th, 2004, 5:53am

Ah, I think I got it. The first two lines threw me off at first, hence my original answer, but what about [hide]sight[/hide]? It seems to be the best fit so far.

As Icarus said, don't be too hard on yourself. It's a good riddle, just a little tricky. But that's what makes a riddle good :-)

Title: Re: In youth, a morning dew... (easy)
Post by raven on Jan 27^th, 2004, 9:53pm

Thank you both for the encouragement. I still believe this one is a little fuzzy around the edges due to it being the first riddle I’ve ever written… hey I just found this forum last weekend ;)

I ran this one past a friend and they also went the [hide]sight[/hide] route. So in hindsight, here’s a hint:
[hide]
Focus only on these last four lines. The rest is too vague to the final answer.

When close, is clear at hand,
when far, seems but a blur;
When young, seems pale and bland,
when old, makes passions stir.
[/hide]

Title: Re: In youth, a morning dew... (easy)
Post by John_Gaughan on Jan 28^th, 2004, 5:53am

Since my second guess was not correct, I'll go with my backup answer, [hide]memories[/hide].

Title: Re: In youth, a morning dew... (easy)
Post by raven on Jan 28^th, 2004, 6:28am

I feel gratified that it really is answerable... Yes, that is the intended answer...

:)

Title: Re: In youth, a morning dew... (easy)
Post by guest on Jan 28^th, 2004, 2:50pm

I like how you stay true to the rhyme and meter. It really rolls off the tongue as one reads it.

I'd actually agree with your concern that the riddle is a bit vague and relies too much on poetic analogies or metaphors. For me a good riddle is one where once the answer is guessed or given there is no doubt about it's veracity. I don't think this riddle is quite in that category yet. (Even the person who solved it wasn't sure about their answer)

HIDDEN TEXT TO AVOID SPOILERS ::
[hide]The riddle focuses on the fact that memories fade, and are never as fresh as when one first experiences them. This is an excellent trait to put into a riddle, but rather than use that trait in both stanzas, I'd recommend shorting it to one stanza, and working on a second stanza that covers a different characteristic of memory.

Using the first two lines as a metaphor between water and memories is misleading, and (for me at least) so much so that once the answer was given, it still wasn't clear. The second stanza uses "close" and "far" without implying "close in time" and "far in time" which is another forced metaphor. I realize that you've used young and old twice elsewhere, and to use them a third time would be too much - which is another reason I'd suggest combining the two stanzas into one and working on a completely different angle for a second stanza.

One final note : The "burned on histories pyre", was also too strong an image for me. Even with the answer revealed I find it misleading instead of a helpful hint. Also I'm not even sure the metaphor holds. I understand that memories can fade and that is like a death to them, but not a burning ritualistic death such as found on a funeral pyre. At least that's my take on it. [/hide]

Perhaps, I'm too literally minded. I'm not big on metaphors in riddles in general unless they are well known ones, or the riddle itself tells you they are being used - such as in the classic riddle :

It can be said:
To be gold is to be good;
To be stone is to be nothing;
To be glass is to be fragile;
To be cold is to be cruel.
Unmetaphored, what am I?
answer :[hide] a heart [/hide] :

Even when I first came across riddles in literature (the Hobbit), I fell in love with them. But I always had a sour taste in my mouth for the ones that used hidden metaphors, The "white horses on a red hill" riddle left me feeling particularly bitter. So my critique of them in your poem may be one of a personal dislike.

Title: Re: In youth, a morning dew... (easy)
Post by guest2 on Jan 28^th, 2004, 4:33pm

For what it's worth, I was able to solve it the first time I read it. Yes, it's vague enough to have multiple answers, but none fits as well as the right one. And I think guest misunderstood the pyre line; it's not the answer that's burned, but the dreams that don't come true which have gone up in flames.

Title: Re: In youth, a morning dew... (easy)
Post by Icarus on Jan 29^th, 2004, 5:28pm

Now that I know the answer, I have to agree that the riddle does have the weakness that when you get the right answer, it does not jump out as being definitely correct. It would be better if this were so.

That said, there are several classic riddles, well-known and well-liked, that similarly fall short of this condition. (I would not include "White Horses on a Red Hill" among them, though. The answer to that one seems to me to be obviously correct when you know it.)

While this riddle could be improved, it could also be much worse. Considering its initial position in Raven's repertoire, it is not at all a bad start. I trust that future efforts will be even better.