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        riddles >> what happened >> DirecTV Satellite Troubleshooting
        
(Message started by: Lightboxes on Sep 12^th, 2003, 11:31pm)

Title: DirecTV Satellite Troubleshooting
Post by Lightboxes on Sep 12^th, 2003, 11:31pm

Based on a true story...

A customer calls the DirecTV Customer Service Department. He is then transferred to the Techincal Department for help on his reciever for DirecTV. The customer starts talking to the Entertainment Consultant (EC) and the customer says, "Yeah, I'm calling because all my channels for DTV aren't working." So the EC begins to troubleshoot the problem with the customer...

They tried resetting the reciever (by unplugging it from the back of the reciever [quicker than the wall outlet]).
They tried pulling out the access card and making sure it was clean.
Finally, the EC asks the customer to check the cables in the back to make sure they are not loose. The customer says it's too dark to see if the cables are connected, let alone connected to the right terminals...The EC asks him if he has a flashlight he can use...then the customer says...something...

The EC then comes up with a solution to the customer's problem. The EC says, "Okay, what I need you to do is unplug the reciever from the wall, wrap up the cords and cables, with the remote, and put them back into the cardboard box that it came in. Then you need to take it back to the store you purchased it from and tell the Return Department...Can I please return this; I am too stupid to use it."

What did the customer say (something) that made the EC be so rude?

Title: Re: DirecTV Satellite Troubleshooting
Post by BNC on Sep 13^th, 2003, 1:03am

I don't think it's a true story -- more like an urban legend. I heard it years ago with a PC instead of DirecTV.

Title: Re: DirecTV Satellite Troubleshooting
Post by Icarus on Sep 13^th, 2003, 3:37pm

Yeah - I heard it as a PC tech call first as well. And I've also heard that it was made up.

Here's one I read in a book sometime - I have no idea on its veracity (and of course I don't remember exactly how it goes):

Customer: I'm not getting any internet connection.
Tech Support: Can you tell me which lights on your cable modem are lit?
Customer: Nope - it's down in the basement.
Tech Support: Cany you please go look? I need to know in order to diagnose the problem.
Customer: I can't get down there. We're flooded - there's 6 feet of water in the basement!
Tech Support: Electronics don't work under water.
Customer: Oh.

Title: Re: DirecTV Satellite Troubleshooting
Post by zee on Sep 13^th, 2003, 4:52pm

I heard also heard a variation

it goes something like icarus and lightbox

ecept the electricity is out and thats why he couldn't see the wires and cables

Title: Re: DirecTV Satellite Troubleshooting
Post by Icarus on Sep 14^th, 2003, 11:09am

Zee - your "variation" is exactly what Lightboxes was refering to. BNC and I were both well-aquainted with the story, but did not post it, in case someone who hadn't heard it came along and wanted to take a guess at the puzzle.

The story I gave was not in answer to Lightboxes, but another story in a similar vane that I decided to share.

Title: Re: DirecTV Satellite Troubleshooting
Post by Lightboxes on Sep 14^th, 2003, 6:40pm

Although the story I specifically heard may not be true or even happened, there is probably a few people who have called in with the power out. I worked for DirecTV for a year and I have so many stories from that place. There would be paranoid people calling in...
Cust:I want to order Jingling Jungle Queens of the Amazon 4 (you can guess what that's about).
Rep:Can I get the number on the account.
Cust:I can't give you my number out loud, my phone line is tapped.
Rep:What about your name or address.
Cust:I can't say that outloud either...what if I just write it down, then mail it to you.
LOL, I feel so sorry for these mentally ill people; but I just think it's halarious that they can even dial the phone.

Title: Re: DirecTV Satellite Troubleshooting
Post by wowbagger on Sep 23^rd, 2003, 8:10am

on 09/14/03 at 18:40:59, Lightboxes wrote:

LOL, I feel so sorry for these mentally ill people; but I just think it's halarious that they can even dial the phone.

;D

I knew the one with the blackout, but this one and the flooded basement are new to me. :)