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        riddles >> general problem-solving / chatting / whatever >> SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious concept
        
(Message started by: ThudanBlunder on Aug 8th, 2007, 10:02am)
Title: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious concept
Post by ThudanBlunder on Aug 8th, 2007, 10:02am
TAOISM: Shhttp://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~wwu/YaBBImages/symbols/i.gift happens.
BUDDHISM: Shhttp://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~wwu/YaBBImages/symbols/i.gift happens over and over again.
HINDUISM: When shhttp://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~wwu/YaBBImages/symbols/i.gift happens don't touch it.
ISLAM: When shhttp://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~wwu/YaBBImages/symbols/i.gift happens ban it.
PROTESTANTISM: Shhttp://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~wwu/YaBBImages/symbols/i.gift happens if we don't work hard.
CATHOLICISM: When shhttp://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~wwu/YaBBImages/symbols/i.gift happens we had it coming.
JUDAISM: Shhttp://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~wwu/YaBBImages/symbols/i.gift happens only to us.
7th DAY ADVENTISM: Shhttp://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~wwu/YaBBImages/symbols/i.gift happens very, very soon.
MORMONISM: Shhttp://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~wwu/YaBBImages/symbols/i.gift happens if we are faithful.
JEHOVAH'S WITNESS*: Knock, knock, shhttp://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~wwu/YaBBImages/symbols/i.gift happens.
RASTAFARIANISM: When shhttp://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~wwu/YaBBImages/symbols/i.gift happens smoke it.
TV EVANGELISM: When shhttp://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~wwu/YaBBImages/symbols/i.gift happens just keep right on sending.
[As usual, atheists must have the last word.]
ATHEISM: Bullshhttp://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~wwu/YaBBImages/symbols/i.gift!

*A member of a religious group whose faces are distinctively flat from having doors slammed in them.
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by JiNbOtAk on Aug 9th, 2007, 6:42pm
Why stop at religion ? Try it on any other -ism.

FEMINISM - sh*t don't happen enough on us, let's make sure it does !!
CHAUVINISM - My sh*t is bigger and badder than your sh*t.
CAPITALISM - My sh*t is never enough, that's why I'm gonna need yours.
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by ThudanBlunder on Aug 9th, 2007, 11:16pm

on 08/09/07 at 18:42:48, JiNbOtAk wrote:
Why stop at religion ? Try it on any other -ism.

In fact, why make do with 'sh*t happens' when we can just use any old phrase, as you have done?   ::)


on 08/09/07 at 18:42:48, JiNbOtAk wrote:
FEMINISM - sh*t don't happen enough on us, let's make sure it does !!
CHAUVINISM - My sh*t is bigger and badder than your sh*t.
CAPITALISM - My sh*t is never enough, that's why I'm gonna need yours.

Thanks, your sh*t happens to make my post look good.  ;)
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by ThudanBlunder on Aug 10th, 2007, 7:08am
Interestingly, because of prudish censorship it is not possible to link from here to addresses such as http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/sh*t_happens when the asterisk is replaced, and yet it allows truly disgraceful words like 'Scunthorpe'.  
::)
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by mikedagr8 on Aug 11th, 2007, 10:43pm
COMMUNISM -  Everybody's shit goes to us, then well redistribute it unevenly, keeping majority for our selves.
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by JiNbOtAk on Aug 12th, 2007, 5:53pm
Famous sh*t quotes :

Edison - sh*tting is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.
Newton - If I have sh*t further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants.
Benjamin Franklin - A small leak can sink a great sh*t.
Einstein - God does not play dice with sh*t.
William Congreve - Hell hath no fury, like a woman sh*tted.
Oscar Wilde - A man can't be too careful in the choice of his sh*t.
Tom Cruise - I feel the need, the need for sh*t !
Mel Gibson - Every man dies, not every man really sh*t.
Simon Cowell - My attitude is, if someone's going to criticize me, tell me to my sh*t.
George Lucas - Part 3 is going to be called Revenge of the sh*t.
Shakira - sh*t don't lie.
Geri Halliwell - It's raining sh*t.
Donald Trump - You're sh*tted.  
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by ThudanBlunder on Aug 12th, 2007, 7:28pm

on 08/12/07 at 17:53:12, JiNbOtAk wrote:
Famous sh*t quotes :

How creative!  
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by mikedagr8 on Aug 12th, 2007, 11:33pm
Bill Clinton - I did not have sexual relations with that sh*t.
John Howard - I'm the Primesh*tter of Australia.

I like Bush's second one the most now.
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by Grimbal on Aug 13th, 2007, 5:35am
George W Bush - sh*t happens because of the axis of a wheel ... (listening to earpiece) ... I mean, the axis of evil.

Albert Einstein - we are only using 10% of our sh*t.
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by mikedagr8 on Aug 14th, 2007, 3:02am
G.W. Bush - You know what's stupid about the French? They don't have a word for sh*t.
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by JiNbOtAk on Aug 14th, 2007, 3:17am
And what do you know, a topic on sh*t, theology, famous quotes becomes another medium of Bush bashing. You guys must really hate the guy.  :P
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by mikedagr8 on Aug 14th, 2007, 3:19am
LOL, because of him, my sh*tty PM, is going to lose the election at the last hurdle.

Also, he says really stupid things Bush Version 2.0 does.
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by mikedagr8 on Aug 18th, 2007, 4:56am
Homer Simpson - mmm...sh*t
"                     " - SH*T!
Bart Simpson - Don't have a sh*t man
"                  " - Eat my sh*t
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by ThudanBlunder on Sep 5th, 2007, 4:57pm

on 08/14/07 at 03:17:10, JiNbOtAk wrote:
You guys must really hate the guy.  :P

Nah, how can you hate a guy who is living proof (http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=f63_1188814644) that, unlike in the UK, absolutely any citizen can become Head of State?

Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by ima1trkpny on Sep 5th, 2007, 5:40pm

on 09/05/07 at 16:57:00, ThudanBlunder wrote:
Nah, how can you hate a guy who is living proof (http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=f63_1188814644) that, unlike in the UK, absolutely any American can become Head of State?

I believe that is entirely the point of having a government "for, by, and of the people"  ::)
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by Sameer on Sep 5th, 2007, 7:48pm

on 08/14/07 at 03:17:10, JiNbOtAk wrote:
And what do you know, a topic on sh*t, theology, famous quotes becomes another medium of Bush bashing. You guys must really hate the guy.  :P


You should see most of the News and programs and comedy skits!! Its a field day for these guys with the Bush government!! (apart from Fox news!!  :-/)


on 08/14/07 at 03:19:09, mikedagr8 wrote:
LOL, because of him, my sh*tty PM, is going to lose the election at the last hurdle.

Also, he says really stupid things Bush Version 2.0 does.


I think John Howard owes it all to himself on this!! No reason for making Bush responsible for it!!
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by Noke Lieu on Sep 5th, 2007, 10:32pm

on 09/05/07 at 19:48:44, Sameer wrote:
I think John Howard owes it all to himself on this!! No reason for making Bush responsible for it!!


[/apolitical smoothing]
oh dear. not dragging myself into this, but if you look around the western world, it's not particulary common for one PM to stay in power much longer than Little Johnny has (not unheard of granted, but not common).


Whether this current government continues is up to the people to decide. And as we have mandatory voting in elections, the outcome should be a fair indication of the nation's preference.
[/apolitical smoothing]

[rant]
But what REALLY gets me at the moment is coverage of Bush at APEC. I mean, really, so Airforce One landed. Ra ra. I'm glad that no-one was hurt, but was that worthy of a 25 minute news story on TV?
And that he decided to go the the maritime Museum?  That's not exactly newsworthy either (although the museum must welcome the coverage)
[/rant]
[resumes work]
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by Sameer on Sep 5th, 2007, 10:36pm

on 09/05/07 at 22:32:41, Noke Lieu wrote:
[rant]
But what REALLY gets me at the moment is coverage of Bush at APEC. I mean, really, so Airforce One landed. Ra ra. I'm glad that no-one was hurt, but was that worthy of a 25 minute news story on TV?
And that he decided to go the the maritime Museum?  That's not exactly newsworthy either (although the museum must welcome the coverage)
[/rant]
[resumes work]


Apparently they build a "great wall of sydney" in preparation for Bush's visit in anticipation of some terror threat. This probably annoyed a lot of aussies!! I even saw a story where they were just leaving the city until this was over!!

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22258506-5013109,00.html
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by Noke Lieu on Sep 5th, 2007, 10:47pm
[/work]

to be fair, that wall isn't for him- it's for everyone's security.

The curious thing is though, if it works, we'll probably not know. If it doesn't, then we probably will.

[work]
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by mikedagr8 on Sep 6th, 2007, 2:09am

on 09/05/07 at 19:48:44, Sameer wrote:
You should see most of the News and programs and comedy skits!! Its a field day for these guys with the Bush government!! (apart from Fox news!!  :-/)


I think John Howard owes it all to himself on this!! No reason for making Bush responsible for it!!


I was partially reffering to the current arrival of G.W.B. Not many people I know, teachers, students and work colleagues are to happy with it, and those who can vote, 75%~ of them are voting for Rudd/other party.
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by ima1trkpny on Sep 10th, 2007, 7:32pm
I recently came across this and thought it would fit right in here... (unfortunately I can't remember the site...) but here goes:

Who is Jack Schitt you ask? The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says " you don't know jack schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O Schitt, the owner of kneedeep N. Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt,  and the deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt,Giva Schitt,Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' wishes, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout their childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg,Byrd, and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son left home to tour the world, and recently returned from Italy with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.

So now when someone says, "you don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct them.
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by ThudanBlunder on Sep 10th, 2007, 7:40pm
Nice schitt, ima1trkpny.
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by mikedagr8 on Sep 11th, 2007, 12:44am
Do you no where the lineage has continued to? ::)
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by ima1trkpny on Sep 11th, 2007, 10:33pm

on 09/10/07 at 19:40:17, ThudanBlunder wrote:
Nice schitt, ima1trkpny.


Thanks  ;D


on 09/11/07 at 00:44:54, mikedagr8 wrote:
Do you no where the lineage has continued to? ::)


I'm sure I could continue it on, have any creative suggestions I should include?
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by ThudanBlunder on Sep 12th, 2007, 1:31am

on 09/11/07 at 22:33:59, ima1trkpny wrote:
I'm sure I could continue it on, have any creative suggestions I should include?

I heard that Pisa Schitt had two wayward daughters, Donna Giva Schitt and Y. Giva Schitt.
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by mikedagr8 on Sep 12th, 2007, 1:56am

on 09/12/07 at 01:31:08, ThudanBlunder wrote:
I heard that Pisa Schitt had two wayward daughters, Donna Giva schitt and Y. Giva Schitt.

Also, Hu Giva Schitt, Somuch Schitt, Yura Schitt-Head, Toomuch Schitt.
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by ima1trkpny on Sep 12th, 2007, 8:05am
LOL wow... give you guys a mission and you hop right to it  ;D Ok, I'm going to have to keep track of everyone's ideas and do some editing.
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by Grimbal on Sep 12th, 2007, 9:17am
But nobody could ever figure out where Bitsi Schitt-Outamy fits in the family.
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by Sameer on Sep 12th, 2007, 11:57am
And maybe why there is a south park episode dedicated to "schitt"!!
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by ima1trkpny on Sep 17th, 2007, 9:34pm

on 09/12/07 at 09:17:44, Grimbal wrote:
But nobody could ever figure out where Bitsi Schitt-Outamy fits in the family.


Oh I bet with a bit of creative thinking we could come up with a suitable way of including such an important figure in the family tree...  ::)


on 09/12/07 at 11:57:52, Sameer wrote:
And maybe why there is a south park episode dedicated to "schitt"!!


And the answer to that is because South Park (while occasionally having its dumb moments) often has strokes of genius. "Dad! Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!!!" (http://youtube.com/watch?v=MS145DBv42c) ROFL... just too perfect  ;D

Edit: Well unfortunately they took down the South Park clip...  :-[ I'm bummed... one of my favorites.
Title: Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
Post by mikedagr8 on Sep 18th, 2007, 4:32am
Ittsa Schitt-Inmi and Fecucked Up-Schitt wer almost forgotten, whew, just saved them. ;)


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