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        riddles >> general problem-solving / chatting / whatever >> Get a Life?
        
(Message started by: THUDandBLUNDER on Jan 13^th, 2006, 8:03am)

Title: Get a Life?
Post by THUDandBLUNDER on Jan 13^th, 2006, 8:03am

Just moved to Morecambe, UK. If extraterrestrials secretly beamed down to Earth they would probably hide away here, just to be on the safe side. Once saw an advert in a national newspaper. The first Prize was a week’s holiday in Morecambe. Fair enough, you might think. However, the second prize was two weeks holiday in Morecambe.

A good friend was today banned for drink-driving. He lost an argument with a tree and then scarpered. Said some old lady recognised him and phoned the AA. He pretended not to understand me when I asked which one. One day at a time, eh?

For myself, I am worse than yesterday, but probably better than tomorrow. Had a disagreement with my wife. Some days she is like the Terminator, she just will not stop. Everyone is wrong except her; I am wrong, her friend is wrong, her brother is wrong, her sister is wrong, even her father is wrong. The only person I have never heard her accuse of being wrong is her mother. And that is only because she doesn’t say much as she died six years ago. While she was sweeping up, I nipped out to the shops, bought some bread and cheese, came back, made a cup of tea and a sandwich, went to the toilet. Constipated. As I sat slowly counting the teeth-marks in the toilet-door I began to realize with mounting apprehension why the best thing about China is that you have absolutely zero chance of getting constipated. When I came back my tea was cold and my sandwich was stale. And Nurotica was still sweeping the flat, like a dog marking out its territory.

So no, quite a good day really.

Title: Re: Get a Life?
Post by rmsgrey on Jan 13^th, 2006, 9:22am

Hey, this almost makes us neighbours - I'm in Lancaster (for those of you who don't know the UK, that puts me less than 5 miles away as the crow flies - maybe as much as 6 by road)

Title: Re: Get a Life?
Post by Noke Lieu on Jan 15^th, 2006, 10:04pm

that's it rmsgrey.... Push him over the edge, why doncha? ::)

on the other hand, he's not stuck it 20 litres of chilli pilsner that I brewed on the sly as a way of stopping my housemate from stealing my beers. Then, just as I bottled it, he moved out.

It's hot enough that one needs to drink it by the eggcupful...

Title: Re: Get a Life?
Post by THUDandBLUNDER on Jan 19^th, 2006, 7:31am

on 01/13/06 at 09:22:45, rmsgrey wrote:

Hey, this almost makes us neighbours - I'm in Lancaster.

We must meet up for a beer sometime. :)

Title: Re: Get a Life?
Post by Speaker on Feb 8^th, 2006, 3:36am

You know T&B, I have a wife similar to yours. Sometimes in the morning while my sons are getting ready to leave for school and I am getting ready to leave for work, she breaks out the vacuum cleaner and starts vacuuming. Telling us to move out of the way, move things out of the way etc.

It doesn't seem strange except that if she waited just 5 mintues we and all our bags and stuff would be out the door.

Title: Re: Get a Life?
Post by Grimbal on Feb 9^th, 2006, 5:38am

But she wouldn't have the feeling you notice all the work she does for you people.

BTW, but completely unrelated. Mine a few times used the vacuum cleaner to get rid of a few hair shee found in the bed even though it was a Sunday morning and I was still sleeping. Luckily, she did her side only.

Title: Re: Get a Life?
Post by rmsgrey on Feb 9^th, 2006, 10:29am

on 01/19/06 at 07:31:44, THUDandBLUNDER wrote:

We must meet up for a beer sometime. :)

Well, my schedule is embarassingly empty at the moment, so I'm up for an encounter...