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Topic: the dark side: jack of all trades (Read 179 times) |
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alien2
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the dark side: jack of all trades
« on: Feb 7th, 2019, 7:17am » |
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A hard target (Jean-Claude Van Damme) is driving across the country when suddenly his car breaks down. Now this can’t happen to a grandmaster in karate! Luckily, or so it seems, Marv Hasselback lives in a spooky, secluded house nearby. The moment Jean-Claude knocks on the door it opens with a creaking sound. But, being a grandmaster in karate, who has a reputation to uphold, he enters the black house . . .
Marv warmly greets Jean-Claude and offers him a poisoned drink. Of course, Jean-Claude is not aware that orange juice is poisoned, but he suspects it. Can’t imagine why. Marv Tells him that he is painting a sunrise painting. He then says that he has to go to the toilet. The martial arts expert looks around the living room. Among quite some artefacts, or so it seems, there is a cremation hourglass urn on the top of a chest of drawers. There is also a beautiful sunset painting painted by: Marv himself.
What happened next was that Marv tried to incapacitate Jean-Claude with chloroform on a handkerchief. But Jean-Claude was ready, of course; so he grabbed his hand and threw him in the showcase. The showcase’s glass was shattered, but the good news was that Marv, although temporarily without consciousness, wasn’t badly damaged. Or was that the bad news?
What piece of evidence later got Marv convicted? Marv was sentenced to death by the electric chair. Sob sob.
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| « Last Edit: Feb 7th, 2019, 7:23am by alien2 » |
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towr
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Re: the dark side: jack of all trades
« Reply #1 on: Feb 7th, 2019, 10:52pm » |
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The reds in the sunset painting is made from the blood of his previous victims.
Or maybe the primer coat on the canvas was made from the ground bones of his previous victims.
Or maybe the paintbrushes were made from the hairs of his previous victims.
Or maybe it was the testimony of JC, because who wouldn't believe in JC.
Or maybe Marv was some minority they'll happily sentence to the chair without a fair trial.
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alien2
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Re: the dark side: jack of all trades
« Reply #2 on: Feb 8th, 2019, 8:10am » |
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on Feb 7th, 2019, 10:52pm, towr wrote:The reds in the sunset painting is made from the blood of his previous victims.
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I had a dog and his name was . . . Bingo!
on Feb 7th, 2019, 10:52pm, towr wrote:
Or maybe the primer coat on the canvas was made from the ground bones of his previous victims.
Or maybe the paintbrushes were made from the hairs of his previous victims.
Or maybe it was the testimony of JC, because who wouldn't believe in JC.
Or maybe Marv was some minority they'll happily sentence to the chair without a fair trial. |
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Quite imaginative. Quite. Say, if I ever knock on your door to say hello, and I always wanted to meet you, now I'd be anxious about a beverage you'd offer me; and I bet it'd be: "orange" juice. Am I right!?
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| « Last Edit: Feb 8th, 2019, 8:11am by alien2 » |
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towr
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Re: the dark side: jack of all trades
« Reply #3 on: Feb 9th, 2019, 4:18am » |
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Na, I'd probably offer a cool, refreshing glass of dihydrogenmonoxide. It's what I usually drink.
Though, I might also offer some brownish infusion of fermented leaves or burned seeds, with a few lumps of crystallized beet-extract if desired.
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alien2
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Re: the dark side: jack of all trades
« Reply #4 on: Feb 9th, 2019, 11:14am » |
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A glass of water?! YOU CHEAP BASTARD! I'd rather die!
Only kidding. Always a pleasure.
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