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Topic: Uh-oh :) (Read 1528 times) |
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DeMark
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There was a shipwreck, and only one man survived. He managed to get to a deserted island. Suddenly, he is surrounded by a lot of Amazone warriors... gorgeous, half-naked, beautiful...and very angry  ; having swords and pikes.
He gets very nervous, knowing that they kill every man who comes across the island.  Uh-oh.
He thinks quickly, says something....and they let him live with them (happily ever after, blah blah blah).
What did he say?
(I searched, but haven't found anything similar to this.)
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| « Last Edit: Sep 26th, 2004, 4:41am by DeMark » |
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towr
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Re: Uh-oh :)
« Reply #1 on: Sep 26th, 2004, 7:51am » |
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"I can cook"
"I'm a transvestite"
*in a flamboyantly gay manner* "Fuschia would look darling on you, it'd really bring out your eyes"
"I give great footrubs"
"Hi, please don't kill me"
"Klaatu, Verata, Nikto"
"This is certainly awkward"
"Hi roomies, I'm the new tenant"
"Hello, my name is Brad Pitt <or however women lust after these days>"
"I come baring chocolate"
"Kill me with kindness"
"You look like you could use some good loving *obscene forward hip movement*" (amazons fall over laughing)
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DeMark
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Re: Uh-oh :)
« Reply #2 on: Sep 26th, 2004, 8:41am » |
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I can cook- "Good to know". Kill.
I'm a transvestite- "Yeah right". Kill.
Hi, please don't kill me- <sounds of killing>.
Hi, my name is Brad Pitt/Tom Cruise/Colin Farrell/anbody else-
Warrior: "You, girl, bring me Cosmopolitan! (looking at the magazine) You're not! You lying bastard!" killkillkill
Fuschia would look good on you- "Fuschia? What the....?" kill.
You look like you could use some good loving ...- <sounds of using him for the reproducing, then -guess what- killing him>
Kill me with kindness- "Okay." <nice, gentle sound of ripping his skin off>.
Nice. But no.
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| « Last Edit: Sep 26th, 2004, 8:55am by DeMark » |
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towr
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Re: Uh-oh :)
« Reply #3 on: Sep 26th, 2004, 9:38am » |
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As they say, 'when in doubt, scream and shout'
"IIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" *running frantically in circles*
Way are the nice warrior women so angry anyway? I mean, if they're really intend on killing every man they can, then there isn't anything a man can say that would deter them.. Unless they're vulnerable to word magic or something..
"back, back I say" *makes cross of fingers*
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DeMark
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Re: Uh-oh :)
« Reply #4 on: Sep 26th, 2004, 10:32am » |
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Well, try to think as a woman (well...). He said something and not a one warrior didn't step out to kill him. She couldn't. And no magic. 
(I can't give you a bigger hint... yet. You would guess immediately...)
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towr
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Re: Uh-oh :)
« Reply #5 on: Sep 26th, 2004, 11:01am » |
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"That time of month again, eh?"
(I suppose that'd get him killed even if they weren't planning to before  )
oeh, wait maybe I do know this one.. It might be a certain incantation that works on succubi as well::"Couldn't we just talk instead"::
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| « Last Edit: Sep 26th, 2004, 11:01am by towr » |
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DeMark
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Re: Uh-oh :)
« Reply #6 on: Sep 26th, 2004, 11:18am » |
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Noooope.
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towr
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Re: Uh-oh :)
« Reply #7 on: Sep 26th, 2004, 11:35am » |
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"I love you"
"weeeeeee *cry*, I want my mommie"
"I have cooties"
"Don't hurt me or my big sister will beat you up"
"Now, I noticed there are quite a few of you. You can't all kill me, so I propose the ugliest steps forward to kill me."
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Grimbal
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Re: Uh-oh :)
« Reply #8 on: Sep 26th, 2004, 2:05pm » |
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"Not all at the same time, girls, please take a number".
(at least, die like a man...)
or similar to towr's: "Ladies, I'll die like a gentleman. Let the oldest of you have the privilege of taking my life".
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DeMark
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Re: Uh-oh :)
« Reply #9 on: Sep 27th, 2004, 5:48am » |
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Well done, Towr.
"The ugliest one of you can kill me". Not a single one would step out. Would you?
So, they let him live and they all happily lived ever after. 
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towr
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Re: Uh-oh :)
« Reply #10 on: Sep 27th, 2004, 6:01am » |
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on Sep 27th, 2004, 5:48am, DeMark wrote:| "The ugliest one of you can kill me". Not a single one would step out. Would you? |
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Sure I would..
castaway: "The ugliest one of you can kill me"
random amazon: "So can the prettiest!" *steps forwards and strikes*
Or just push someone else forward.
And I seriously doubt the amazons would be so vane as to care about the risk of being called the ugliest.. Maybe if it was an island of washed up militant holywood starlets.
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| « Last Edit: Sep 27th, 2004, 6:06am by towr » |
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John_Gaughan
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Re: Uh-oh :)
« Reply #11 on: Sep 27th, 2004, 6:50am » |
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I think getting one to admit to being the oldest or ugliest or whatever would not work. I imagine one would admit to being the ugliest just long enough to kill him.
How about "please spare my life. My wife died in an accident, leaving behind our beautiful baby daughter. If I do not return to take care of her, she will have to be raised by her evil uncle Ernie instead."
Or, "if you let me live, I will send my sister Lucy to join your tribe. She has always wanted to join the Amazons. Your tribe will be stronger by showing benevolence."
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Grimbal
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Re: Uh-oh :)
« Reply #12 on: Sep 27th, 2004, 7:01am » |
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Or "If you let me live, I will create a start-up. Each of you will be on the board of directors and get stock options. You will be not only rich but famous, because I will call it Amazon.com."
Obviously, they agreed to the deal. After all, how often gets a woman proposed such a high position?
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DeMark
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Re: Uh-oh :)
« Reply #13 on: Sep 27th, 2004, 8:53am » |
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Well, I'm not the author of this riddle. What should I do? 
Anyway, if I was one of the beautiful Amazon warriors I doubt I would kill a man who wants the ugliest to kill him. I wouldn't want the tribe to think I'm the ugliest or see that I think I'm the ugliest.
And that about beautiful baby daughter doesn't work. He stayed on the island, remember?
Hm. Maybe there was an old, ugly warrior, so when the poor guy said that, the whole tribe sniggered and pushed her towards him. Heh heh.
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John_Gaughan
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Re: Uh-oh :)
« Reply #14 on: Sep 27th, 2004, 12:18pm » |
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I guess neither you nor the Amazons ever heard of uncle Ernie Did you at least understand the Lucy reference?
Anyway, I was just trying to be creative. I doubt a bunch of Amazon warriors would care either way, they would shoot (swing?) first and ask questions later, specifically, "what do we do with this rotting corpse?"
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towr
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Re: Uh-oh :)
« Reply #15 on: Sep 27th, 2004, 1:26pm » |
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I'd be hard-pressed to figure out the necessary amount of (ancient) greek for them to understand me as well..
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Three Hands
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Re: Uh-oh :)
« Reply #16 on: Sep 28th, 2004, 6:39am » |
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And even then you may struggle, since the couple of thousand years worth of separate language evolution may well have made it unrecognisable from the original stem...
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EZ_Lonny
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Re: Uh-oh :)
« Reply #17 on: Sep 28th, 2004, 7:02am » |
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I thought up another solution.
I have wood!! 14 inches of it.
They must have feelings, don't they?
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There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge - Bertrand Russel
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DeMark
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Re: Uh-oh :)
« Reply #18 on: Sep 28th, 2004, 7:28am » |
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Um, haven't heard about uncle Ernie.  Maybe I did, but I can't remember.
But I understand the lucy reference.
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John_Gaughan
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Re: Uh-oh :)
« Reply #19 on: Sep 29th, 2004, 5:54am » |
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Uncle Ernie was a character from the rock opera Tommy (1960s). He molested the main character, a child. My idea was to say that the man must raise his daughter to save her from certain abuse.
Incidentally, Tommy is the same opera where The Who's song "Pinball Wizard" came from, as well as a few of their other popular songs.
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BNC
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Re: Uh-oh :)
« Reply #20 on: Oct 24th, 2004, 12:23pm » |
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How about: "let the best looking girl kill me", and then let them fight for it while escaping?
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How about supercalifragilisticexpialidociouspuzzler [Towr, 2007]
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towr
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Re: Uh-oh :)
« Reply #21 on: Oct 24th, 2004, 1:50pm » |
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They'd have to fight quite a while before you've finished building a boat or raft and can flee the island (where otherwise they'd inevitably find you)
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BNC
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Re: Uh-oh :)
« Reply #22 on: Oct 25th, 2004, 3:26am » |
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Ahh, but the single remaining live amazon would probably be wounded and tired, so that even I may be able to cope with her...
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How about supercalifragilisticexpialidociouspuzzler [Towr, 2007]
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