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Topic: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious concept (Read 2092 times) |
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ThudnBlunder
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SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious concept
« on: Aug 8th, 2007, 10:02am » |
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TAOISM: Sh t happens.
BUDDHISM: Sht happens over and over again.
HINDUISM: When sht happens don't touch it.
ISLAM: When sht happens ban it.
PROTESTANTISM: Sht happens if we don't work hard.
CATHOLICISM: When sht happens we had it coming.
JUDAISM: Sht happens only to us.
7th DAY ADVENTISM: Sht happens very, very soon.
MORMONISM: Sht happens if we are faithful.
JEHOVAH'S WITNESS*: Knock, knock, sht happens.
RASTAFARIANISM: When sht happens smoke it.
TV EVANGELISM: When sht happens just keep right on sending.
[As usual, atheists must have the last word.]
ATHEISM: Bullsht!
*A member of a religious group whose faces are distinctively flat from having doors slammed in them.
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| « Last Edit: May 25th, 2011, 12:31am by ThudnBlunder » |
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JiNbOtAk
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #1 on: Aug 9th, 2007, 6:42pm » |
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Why stop at religion ? Try it on any other -ism.
FEMINISM - sh*t don't happen enough on us, let's make sure it does !!
CHAUVINISM - My sh*t is bigger and badder than your sh*t.
CAPITALISM - My sh*t is never enough, that's why I'm gonna need yours.
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ThudnBlunder
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #2 on: Aug 9th, 2007, 11:16pm » |
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on Aug 9th, 2007, 6:42pm, JiNbOtAk wrote:Why stop at religion ? Try it on any other -ism.
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In fact, why make do with 'sh*t happens' when we can just use any old phrase, as you have done? 
on Aug 9th, 2007, 6:42pm, JiNbOtAk wrote:
FEMINISM - sh*t don't happen enough on us, let's make sure it does !!
CHAUVINISM - My sh*t is bigger and badder than your sh*t.
CAPITALISM - My sh*t is never enough, that's why I'm gonna need yours. |
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Thanks, your sh*t happens to make my post look good. 
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| « Last Edit: Aug 10th, 2007, 6:56am by ThudnBlunder » |
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ThudnBlunder
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #3 on: Aug 10th, 2007, 7:08am » |
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Interestingly, because of prudish censorship it is not possible to link from here to addresses such as http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/sh*t_happens when the asterisk is replaced, and yet it allows truly disgraceful words like 'Scunthorpe'.
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| « Last Edit: May 21st, 2011, 2:04pm by ThudnBlunder » |
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mikedagr8
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #4 on: Aug 11th, 2007, 10:43pm » |
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COMMUNISM - Everybody's shit goes to us, then well redistribute it unevenly, keeping majority for our selves.
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| « Last Edit: Aug 14th, 2007, 3:28am by mikedagr8 » |
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JiNbOtAk
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #5 on: Aug 12th, 2007, 5:53pm » |
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Famous sh*t quotes :
Edison - sh*tting is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.
Newton - If I have sh*t further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants.
Benjamin Franklin - A small leak can sink a great sh*t.
Einstein - God does not play dice with sh*t.
William Congreve - Hell hath no fury, like a woman sh*tted.
Oscar Wilde - A man can't be too careful in the choice of his sh*t.
Tom Cruise - I feel the need, the need for sh*t !
Mel Gibson - Every man dies, not every man really sh*t.
Simon Cowell - My attitude is, if someone's going to criticize me, tell me to my sh*t.
George Lucas - Part 3 is going to be called Revenge of the sh*t.
Shakira - sh*t don't lie.
Geri Halliwell - It's raining sh*t.
Donald Trump - You're sh*tted.
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ThudnBlunder
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #6 on: Aug 12th, 2007, 7:28pm » |
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on Aug 12th, 2007, 5:53pm, JiNbOtAk wrote:
How creative!
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| « Last Edit: Sep 5th, 2007, 4:47pm by ThudnBlunder » |
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mikedagr8
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #7 on: Aug 12th, 2007, 11:33pm » |
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Bill Clinton - I did not have sexual relations with that sh*t.
John Howard - I'm the Primesh*tter of Australia.
I like Bush's second one the most now.
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| « Last Edit: Aug 14th, 2007, 3:08am by mikedagr8 » |
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Grimbal
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #8 on: Aug 13th, 2007, 5:35am » |
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George W Bush - sh*t happens because of the axis of a wheel ... (listening to earpiece) ... I mean, the axis of evil.
Albert Einstein - we are only using 10% of our sh*t.
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mikedagr8
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #9 on: Aug 14th, 2007, 3:02am » |
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G.W. Bush - You know what's stupid about the French? They don't have a word for sh*t.
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| « Last Edit: Aug 20th, 2007, 6:04am by mikedagr8 » |
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JiNbOtAk
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #10 on: Aug 14th, 2007, 3:17am » |
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And what do you know, a topic on sh*t, theology, famous quotes becomes another medium of Bush bashing. You guys must really hate the guy. 
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mikedagr8
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #11 on: Aug 14th, 2007, 3:19am » |
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LOL, because of him, my sh*tty PM, is going to lose the election at the last hurdle.
Also, he says really stupid things Bush Version 2.0 does.
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| « Last Edit: Aug 14th, 2007, 3:22am by mikedagr8 » |
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mikedagr8
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #12 on: Aug 18th, 2007, 4:56am » |
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Homer Simpson - mmm...sh*t
" " - SH*T!
Bart Simpson - Don't have a sh*t man
" " - Eat my sh*t
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"It's not that I'm correct, it's that you're just not correct, and so; I am right." - M.P.E.
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ThudnBlunder
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #13 on: Sep 5th, 2007, 4:57pm » |
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on Aug 14th, 2007, 3:17am, JiNbOtAk wrote:| You guys must really hate the guy. |
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Nah, how can you hate a guy who is living proof that, unlike in the UK, absolutely any citizen can become Head of State?
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| « Last Edit: Feb 12th, 2011, 3:02pm by ThudnBlunder » |
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ima1trkpny
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #14 on: Sep 5th, 2007, 5:40pm » |
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on Sep 5th, 2007, 4:57pm, ThudanBlunder wrote:
Nah, how can you hate a guy who is living proof that, unlike in the UK, absolutely any American can become Head of State?
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I believe that is entirely the point of having a government "for, by, and of the people"
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Sameer
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #15 on: Sep 5th, 2007, 7:48pm » |
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on Aug 14th, 2007, 3:17am, JiNbOtAk wrote:| And what do you know, a topic on sh*t, theology, famous quotes becomes another medium of Bush bashing. You guys must really hate the guy. |
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You should see most of the News and programs and comedy skits!! Its a field day for these guys with the Bush government!! (apart from Fox news!!  )
on Aug 14th, 2007, 3:19am, mikedagr8 wrote:LOL, because of him, my sh*tty PM, is going to lose the election at the last hurdle.
Also, he says really stupid things Bush Version 2.0 does. |
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I think John Howard owes it all to himself on this!! No reason for making Bush responsible for it!!
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Noke Lieu
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #16 on: Sep 5th, 2007, 10:32pm » |
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on Sep 5th, 2007, 7:48pm, Sameer wrote:
I think John Howard owes it all to himself on this!! No reason for making Bush responsible for it!! |
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[/apolitical smoothing]
oh dear. not dragging myself into this, but if you look around the western world, it's not particulary common for one PM to stay in power much longer than Little Johnny has (not unheard of granted, but not common).
Whether this current government continues is up to the people to decide. And as we have mandatory voting in elections, the outcome should be a fair indication of the nation's preference.
[/apolitical smoothing]
[rant]
But what REALLY gets me at the moment is coverage of Bush at APEC. I mean, really, so Airforce One landed. Ra ra. I'm glad that no-one was hurt, but was that worthy of a 25 minute news story on TV?
And that he decided to go the the maritime Museum? That's not exactly newsworthy either (although the museum must welcome the coverage)
[/rant]
[resumes work]
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| « Last Edit: Sep 6th, 2007, 5:01pm by Noke Lieu » |
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Sameer
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #17 on: Sep 5th, 2007, 10:36pm » |
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on Sep 5th, 2007, 10:32pm, Noke Lieu wrote:
[rant]
But what REALLY gets me at the moment is coverage of Bush at APEC. I mean, really, so Airforce One landed. Ra ra. I'm glad that no-one was hurt, but was that worthy of a 25 minute news story on TV?
And that he decided to go the the maritime Museum? That's not exactly newsworthy either (although the museum must welcome the coverage)
[/rant]
[resumes work] |
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Apparently they build a "great wall of sydney" in preparation for Bush's visit in anticipation of some terror threat. This probably annoyed a lot of aussies!! I even saw a story where they were just leaving the city until this was over!!
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22258506-5013109,00.html
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Noke Lieu
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #18 on: Sep 5th, 2007, 10:47pm » |
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[/work]
to be fair, that wall isn't for him- it's for everyone's security.
The curious thing is though, if it works, we'll probably not know. If it doesn't, then we probably will.
[work]
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| « Last Edit: Sep 5th, 2007, 10:49pm by Noke Lieu » |
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mikedagr8
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #19 on: Sep 6th, 2007, 2:09am » |
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on Sep 5th, 2007, 7:48pm, Sameer wrote:
You should see most of the News and programs and comedy skits!! Its a field day for these guys with the Bush government!! (apart from Fox news!! )
I think John Howard owes it all to himself on this!! No reason for making Bush responsible for it!! |
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I was partially reffering to the current arrival of G.W.B. Not many people I know, teachers, students and work colleagues are to happy with it, and those who can vote, 75%~ of them are voting for Rudd/other party.
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ima1trkpny
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #20 on: Sep 10th, 2007, 7:32pm » |
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I recently came across this and thought it would fit right in here... (unfortunately I can't remember the site...) but here goes:
Who is Jack Schitt you ask? The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says " you don't know jack schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O Schitt, the owner of kneedeep N. Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt,Giva Schitt,Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' wishes, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt.
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout their childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg,Byrd, and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son left home to tour the world, and recently returned from Italy with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.
So now when someone says, "you don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct them.
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| « Last Edit: Sep 10th, 2007, 7:49pm by ima1trkpny » |
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"The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." -Churchill
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ThudnBlunder
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #21 on: Sep 10th, 2007, 7:40pm » |
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Nice schitt, ima1trkpny.
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THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH.....................................................................er, if that's all right with the rest of you.
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mikedagr8
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #22 on: Sep 11th, 2007, 12:44am » |
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Do you no where the lineage has continued to?
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ima1trkpny
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #23 on: Sep 11th, 2007, 10:33pm » |
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on Sep 10th, 2007, 7:40pm, ThudanBlunder wrote:
Thanks 
on Sep 11th, 2007, 12:44am, mikedagr8 wrote:| Do you no where the lineage has continued to? |
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I'm sure I could continue it on, have any creative suggestions I should include?
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"The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." -Churchill
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ThudnBlunder
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Re: SH*T HAPPENS, a truly universal religious conc
« Reply #24 on: Sep 12th, 2007, 1:31am » |
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on Sep 11th, 2007, 10:33pm, ima1trkpny wrote:| I'm sure I could continue it on, have any creative suggestions I should include? |
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I heard that Pisa Schitt had two wayward daughters, Donna Giva Schitt and Y. Giva Schitt.
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| « Last Edit: Sep 12th, 2007, 2:44am by ThudnBlunder » |
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THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH.....................................................................er, if that's all right with the rest of you.
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