the beno journal

go to the 1st entry of 2001 in the new beno journal, 2001 edition.

this will be the last entry in this part of my journal.   the next time i log an entry, i'll be writing a new file.   well, i guess i'll write 1 more entry here to give u the url to the new file, huh?   neway, i've been so bizzy lately, n' that's why i haven't been able to log many entries.   what have i been doing?   well, i werk long days, n' then i come home n' werk hard @ trying to clean up the apt.   it's like back in the day when i'd werk all day, take a short nap, n' go to taekwondo team practices.   'twas like having 2 jobs, like living a dual life.   n' 'gain it's been like that... but well... "engineer by day, housekeeper by nite" sure doesn't sound all that exciting, does it?   frick!   *sigh* well, that's what i've been this week, these 6 days w/o the beautiful kaela kang.   'cept 4 last nite.   s.mike called me up... well... c, i stayed @ werk till 830p last nite cos i was werking hard till 'bout 630p.   then i started doing werk 4 the ucmap taekwondo snowtrip.   i spent 'lotta time on that.   then toby called me, n' we chatted 4 a bit.   k, then jeff called me.   c, s.mike called me earlier to ask me to go shopping in sf w/ him n' jeff, but i was still @ werk.   later, while i was barely leaving corte madera, aka "cm," jeff called me n' told me to meet him n' s.mike @ thai noodles on shattuck.   well, i hurried home to berkeley cos i was starving.   i went to thai noodle but didn't find them, so i called jeff.   jeff sed they were @ triple rock brewery, n' so they were.   the 2 of them n' s.mike's old housemate sabina.   so we had beer n' talked.   s.mike went off on his famous theories... u know... theories 'bout guys n' gurls, etc.   'twas fun.   n' then roland joined us, n' we went to thai noodle.   then sabina asked her friend to join us.   so there was a bunch of us.   so we were sittin' 'round, eating, talking 'bout s.mike's theories, n' then, dang... i think i c ed park's out of the corner of my eye.   then i think i c jon aytac's face... n' there was no mistaking his cos he's got that crazy beard goin' on.   wow! i ran outside, n' 'twas ed park, eric chang, n' jon aytac.   whoa!   so we stood outside of thai noodles n' talked 4 a short bit.   they were on their way to triple rock.   *sigh*   'twas so crazy to c them.

neway, i've been cleaning n' throwing out stuff all week long.   now i'm 'bout to leave to socal.   2day during lunch, i drove back to berkeley n' got my hair cut @ panache.   erin's gonna come pick me up in 'bout 15 mins.   some p. crew affiliates r going to disneyland 4 new yr's eve.   my 2nd new yr's @ disneyland in a row.   2morrow, i'll go to kaela's grandmutha's b.day party.   well, i better go... i gotta make sure i'm all packed.   *sigh*   i wish i could give u a big wrap up of the yr, like i did last yr... but what can i say in 4 mins?   well, i'll sum it all up by saying 'twas a great yr cos i got 2gether w/ kaela.   there was crap here n' there like her loser psycho exbf, not as much hanging out, apt situations, stuff like that... but how could ne of that have spoiled my happiness?

u know, these r the last days of this beno journal.   i mean, i'm gonna start a new file next month, n' prob'ly do as the beautiful kaela kang does n' start a new file every month...   i'm not sure... maybe it won't be every month...   i'm not sure yet; maybe just every yr?   or every season?   i dunno.   *sigh*   i just know that this file has gotten really huge.

well, i'm back from my christmas break.   i tried to clean up the apt last nite.   so it's pretty settled that kaela n' i will try to find an apt 2gether this semester.   my current apt is under rent control, n' 1nce i find a new place the new rent will be outrageously much more than what i pay now, i know.   true, @ this rate, mortgage'd be better than rent, but really now... i can't.   life, life, life.   kaela n' i talked 'lot 'bout future plans last nite.   boy, oh boy... we gotta plan 4 the future.   when is the future?   someday we'll be all grown up; when is that someday?   i was saying... a 17 yr old can hear 'bout / look @ a 25 yr old n' say, "when i grow up i wanna be like him/her."   but man... a 25 yr old can't look @ 'nother 25 yr old n' say the same.   we've already made some decisions in our lives where we can't go back n' redo them.   heh, but man... u gotta live w/ these choices... not just live w/ them, be proud of them, rejoice in them.   to all the other 25 yr olds, 24 yr olds, 26 yr olds... be proud of who u r n' who u will be.   n' u know what?   don't let ur parents make u feel ashamed of it... cos i know that's what parents often do.   life has 'nuff pressure as is.   neway, why am i talkin' 'bout this?   i dunno... i guess thinking 'bout the future brings anxiety... but it shouldn't; it should make us feel hopeful n' eager.   sometimes i can feel pessimistic tho', expect really bad things.   sometimes i think the economy's gonna crash.   in that case, all these dot com millionaires'll hafta sell their san josé homes 4 cheap, right?   why would i think that the economy's gonna crash?   maybe it's just that stocks r do so awfully right now.   maybe i just think that the country'll go to waste w/ a republican in the white house.   don't ppl get rich when the republicans govern.   i guess the rich get richer n' the poor get poorer under trickle down economics, right?   but am i rich or poor?   or does it matter?   i'm no wise man.

neway, this is all blabber.   so what's been going on.   kaela's been down in chino, so i don't get to c her.   we talk 'lot tho'.   she called me on her cell from her relatives' house yesterday, on christmas.   so we talked 2ice yesterday.   i spent time in san jo.   i started to realise all that san josé actually is...   *sigh* well, shoot! i dunno.   i struggle w/ this debate: is san jo like orange county, or is it something else?   i'll always have a hard time arguing that san jo isn't like orange county, n' this weekend i started to convince myself that san jo is a li'l more like orange county than i have been admitting.   it has always been so much more suburban than i've been admitting...   i lived there n' grew up there; then i went off to berkeley 4 college.   i came back, n' i sed all things had changed; butchu know? maybe so much didn't change... i just 4got what it had always been like.   i went off to college n' gained a consciousness n' awareness i hadn't had b4, n' i came back to san jo n' i saw what it really is.   but i dunno... things have changed; but more things have stayed the same than i had previously thought.

san jo is full of rich, spoiled kids.   well, what other kind of kid is there these days?   ha, just kidding... 'course there r kids out there that werk hard to get somewhere better than where they r.   but now i 'member... almaden valley didn't have so many of that kind.   no, now i 'member... 'twas full of spoiled, snotty kids... mostly white or asian.   i 'member now how those asian kids r: they try to impress their friends w/ how american they can be.   then the try to impress their friends w/ how asian they can be.   whatever they do, so much of it is just 'bout impressing their friends.   why? cos a kid wants to stand out just a li'l in this suburb full of kids.   a kid doesn't wanna be just 'nother face in that crowd.

i 'member in college, some ppl'd tell me that they liked norcal better than socal cos norcal's so much less superficial than socal, so much less image conscious.   is that really true?   n' would that necessarily a good thing neway?   as u can c, this weekend, i started to question the value of norcal.   i used to so strongly believe in norcal, in the bay area, but i started to lose faith this weekend.   i looked 'round n' realised: dang, stuff is so expensive here. yah, ppl r rich; maybe they're 2 rich.   n' stuff is really expensive.   housing's expensive.

on sun, my mom n' i went to stanfurd shopping center.   that's a nice mall.   in the sobay, the best malls r valley fair n' stanfurd, i guess.   just like valley fair does, stanfurd mall attracts a lot of asians, 'specially armani exchange.   'round a|x, u'll c lots'a rich, asian immigrants, n' lots'a poor asian immigrants trying to look rich.   i'm not saying nething negative 'bout 'bout these ppl; i'm just commenting on their existence.   we were s'pposed to eat dinner @ this grilled meat salad place called plutos, but 'twas closed.   instead we ate subpar gyros @ some gyros place on university that made me wish i was @ yiassoo.

on christmas day, we ate cantonese fud 2ice: we went to dim sum @ joy luck place, then we went to a seafud restaurant, abc seafud.   both r very popular, crowded restaurants in the silicon valley.   there r many chinese ppl here, i tell u.   we got lousy service @ abc, n' u know what?   i personally think it's cos we don't speak cantonese.   butchu know what?   every1 ought to learn a few phrases of languages to use in restaurants u frequent.   i mean, i say this especially from the perspective of an asian cos no matter where what kind of asian restaurant i go to, i'll be mistaken 4 that ethnicity; n' if i don't speak that langauge, then i'll be written off as snobby.   u know that?   i 'membered now how it felt to be in hong kong.   i felt ppl thought i was snobby cos i didn't speak cantonese to them but spoke english.   so it's good to say "thank u" etc. in the language of the server, if u can... but don't do it patronisingly!   'course this doesn't really apply to japanese restaurants much cos... well, u know... i figure most japanese americans don't expect other japanese americans to speak japanese.   but that surely isn't the case 4 chinese n' koreans.

2day is brandie barrows's b.day!   happy b.day brandie!   she reads this sometimes, so that makes her even more kewl!

well, i just sorta stuck that in there, but i should continue talkin 'bout the bay area.   so u know... i guess some things r disillusioning me, 'specially the cost of living.   butchu know?   allow me now to focus on the positives of bay area life:

1. san francisco - san francisco is a cosmopolitan city, full of artistic expression, fashion n' glamour, bright lites, colourful ppl, varied ethnic culture, interesting history, delicious n' innovative cuisine, young nitelife.   it's a place that authors write 'bout, that movies r set in...

2. intelligent, educated ppl - the bay area has great universities such as berkeley, n' well... stanfurd... n' it also has ucsf, uc hastings... n' the abundance of csu skools shows that ppl do care somewhat 'bout education, right? well... k, besides that, tho'... educated ppl come to the bay area.   yah, they come as engineers... but besides that!   educated ppl come here to fulfill other purposes 2: activism, art/literature/musik, to teach, to live...

3. fresh air, blue skies - well, this is quickly becoming less of a pt in the silicon valley, i guess... but in general, there's less smog up here than in socal.   i never get a chance to bring ppl up into the hills in the almaden valley, to the hiking trails that my dad always went to, the trails that i went to w/ cub scouts, etc.   the bay area does a better job in preserving its natural lands... not that it doesn't grow n' expand, but it has interesting natural parks that ppl do go to... n' we're close 'nuff to tahoe.   that's very important cos tahoe snow is good quality snow.

well, i dunno the pt of that list.   i 'member back when eric chang n' toby'd argue 'bout what's better norcal or socal... n' they're 'both socalers... toby's from san diego, n' eric's from arcadia.   eric likes his in-n-out burgers n' hot socal women, n' toby likes how it's "less superficial" n' less hectic up here.   man, but really... i think we came to this conclusion b4, n' it's true... the only real truth here is that central cali4nia sucks! ha ha ha.   i think that's the conclusion that closed the debate.   why not blow up central cali4nia n' drag socal up to norcal?   they really need to make a bullet train btwn norcal n' socal.   well, my sister n' steve used to live in san luis obispo; that's central cali4nia, but it's long the coast.   it's a beautiful coast.   we shouldn't sacrifice that.   can't all of cali4nia just love 1 'nother?   show that cali4nia love!   give it up, give it up!!!   shake it, cali!   shake it, cali!   just think of phil... he 1nce lived in socal, then he came up to norcal, n' now he's in oregon... well, right now he's in irvine.   i think he likes norcal better, but i think he thinks that san jo is just like orange cty.   *sigh*   from the way s.mike talks of virginia... i'm just glad we don't live there...

i'd never gone out w/ a socal gurl b4 kaela, u know.   the women of my past were bay area women.   i guess socal women r just so much hotter, like eric sed.   well, if we're gonna talk 'bout that, then we're sorta talking 'bout gender issues, n' lemme talk 'bout this: sometimes i feel, in socal, guys gotta put on more of a macho act.   u know, norcal guys r a bunch'a sensitive saps, all fruity n' all, right?   ha ha.   well, i dunno... i don't think that's true...   in san jo, guys gotta do that macho act 2 sometimes.   n' well, shoot... it's not like the bay area doesn't have places like urban oakland, richmond, n' east pally, tuff neighbourhoods.   but it's also just got its share of "berkeley telegraph street fair let's go hug an elephant seal pledge a donation 4 kqed n' love 1 'nother" feel... n' yah, i guess ppl don't think that's what tuff guys do...   but tuff guys know that's what tuff guys do.

man, now wasn't this ptless?

so last nite, i brought phil home in my car, home to san jo; n' the beautiful kaela kang followed us.   in my car, to get that christmas mood, we played the jewel christmas cd that grace n' steve gave me 4 christmas last yr.   we got home, n' all 6 of us ate hot pot.   then we did the christmas thing.   yah, we did the christmas thing already, exchanged presents, opened presents already on fri nite.   my mom gave me some undershirts n' a long sleeve polo that i can wear to werk.   grace n' steve gave me a wool sweater n' some body butter 4 my dry skin.   my sister baked lots'a stuff.   i saw that grace n' steve painted my room.   i fell asleep watching tv.

2day, kaela n' phil left 4 socal.   i won't c kaela 'gain till fri nite!   nuts.   well, i went running in the park this afternoon.   i felt out of shape.   but i got to keep it realistic...   i'm not that out of shape, i just gotta get back into the swing of things.   the 1st werkout after a long break'll always feel tuff.   i ran 3 miles; i ran to the lake, looked @ ducks, geese, n' coots, n' ran back.   i saw some very beautiful ducks.   they have lots'a mallards, but also some brown headed n' black headed 1s.   i'm glad i went 4 that jog.   now that i've opened all my presents, what should i do 'bout christmas?   well, i know i actually have a coupl'a presents that i didn't get yet, n' there's 1 that kaela n' i were s'pposed to give out, n' i can think of 'nother that i still haft'a give out...   so christmas isn't quite over.   should i go shopping?   but it'll be so crowded.

[later] i went to blockbuster to rent some horror movies: the cell n' mission to mars.   i figure kaela won't be watching w/ me 2nite, so i might as well rent horror movies.   i had an expired 241 coupon.   i gave the coupon to the cashier neway.   she told me 'twas expired.   i sed, "oh, really? shoot. oh well... i just found the coupon on my mom's fridge, so i figured i might as well use it."   then she sed, "hold on," n' she took this card from her drawer n' scanned it, n' i got 241.   sometimes, u know, cashiers will give u a discount if u try, u know?   it's just like this other time when we ordered a round table pizza @ ken's store, n' i picked it up n' brought this coupon that ken gave me.   i saw that it was expired, but i tried it neway.   the cashier let me have the discount.   these r such common coupons neway, 1s that come out every week.

i'm sitting here @ my office 'puter really, absolutely frustrated 'bout a problem; but it's not something i wanna talk 'bout here, n' i don't even want ppl to ask me 'bout it.   it's the kind of thing that just really puts a damper on ur day, u know?   i don't like thinking life's a dead end.   i really don't like to deal w/ pessimism n' pessimistic thinking.   i like to have hope, to hope, to believe that things can get better.   pessimism is dangerously contagious.   foul moods r infectious.

well, i don't want to bog u down 'bout crap i won't even talk 'bout.   shake dog shake.   i'll shake off all these bad feelings.   i feel like they're fleas or something on me, n' i'm a dog, n' if i shake hard 'nuff, i'll shake them off.

so yes, 4 our 11th monthversary, i took the beautiful kaela kang to fringale in sf.   when i got to the restaurant, i was worried i came to a really snooty place.   the pregnant hostess was a li'l rushed.   the restaurant was full of older yuppies, which is funny to say cos yuppy is s'pposed to mean young urban professional, but these ppl weren't really young, just urban n' professional.   n' then there was us.   neway, it turned out to be a great dining experience.   our waiter was definitely a humble n' polite guy, but knowledgeable.   that's how a server should be.   we had quail, crab salad, mussels, salmon, coffee parfait, mango/orange sorbet, latte, n' a good gerwürztraminer wine.   the waiter gave us free truffles w/ a candle 4 our anniversary.   'twas really thoughtful of him n' above his responsibilities, u know?   that's good service.   kaela opened her christmas present: a handspring visor deluxe.   kaela, as an anniversary present, gave me a sharper image back massager.   it's really good.   she also gave me a voucher 4 a parrotlet, when we find a new place to live.   she also gave me some snowmen peeps.   we went to j.town n' neoprinted n' took pics w/ my elph.

yesterday was thurs.   'twas my office holiday lunch.   we went to our boss's house.   i drove a carload.   i don't interact w/ my cowerkers 'nuff, i know.   after the party, we had the rest of the day off as a company holiday.   i was so tired.   i sleepily drove home.   i packed up a whole bunch of clothes n' stereo equipment n' brought it to the salvation army to donate it.   i think i gave 'way some good stuff.   some stuff, it cmed like a shame to give away 4 free, but u know... it wouldn't be a donation if it weren't worth something, u know?   it's better to think 'bout how these useful things can do 4 some1 else.   it's good to donate.   it's important to donate good stuff not just trash.   i guess, if i really try hard, i can sell lots'a used stuff on ebay or something, but why go thru so much bother 4 a few dollars, when a big charity organisation knows how to do it more efficiently n' 'll appreciate it, u know?   well, after the salvation army, i came home n' cleaned up the place.   we're trying to fit more of kaela's stuff in my closets.   she's officially moving out of albany.   josh'll be all pissy if we have her stuff in the living room, but he can't complain 'bout what i have in my closets, u know?   it's good to donate stuff.   kaela warmed up some dwaejimuhri n' cooked some baechu.   we ate a small dinner, n' then we went over to darlene's to pass out presents.   brandie, laura, joon, darlene, deanna, n' mikey were there.   then i drove us all out to jack london cinemas to watch what women want.   jefflyn n' supermike joined us there.   the movie theatre was far from crowded on this winter weeknite.   it was a pretty funny movie, discussing gender/sex/relationship issues.   'twasn't a really deep movie, just a funny flick.

well, 2nite, san jo.   the plan is that after werk, i'll swing by berkeley n' albany, put some of her stuff in my car, pick up our stuff to go home...   phil'll come w/ us to san jo 2nite.   then 2morrow morning, kaela'll drive phil down to socal from san jo.   i'll stay up here.

[now it's the 19th.   i usually don't do this, split a journal entry over 2 days, but i gotta in this case...] so thurs nite, i was thinking of going to taekwondo werkout.   i left werk, n' i was so hungry.   instead of werking out, i sorta did the opposite, n' the beautiful kaela kang n' i went to hotboxcity to eat a buncha meat, seafud, n' sushi. ... [beno interrupts this journal entry to talk 'bout other junk...] whoa! i just won a quantum atlas 10k 36.4 gb ultra 160 hard drive on y! auctions.   whoa!   i got it 4 'bout the price of a 18 gb drive... whoa...   i was pretty shocked!   'gain i had a bidding war like that ebay time, but this time i won.   whoa! dang, this is so much cheaper than buying it retail... 'course it's a li'l used, but it's still so cheap!   whoa... [k, beno returns u to ur regularly scheduled broadcasting.] 'twas my 1st time @ hot pot w/ kaela.   we tried tea eggs, which neither of us had ever had.   kaela had finished her public health finals on thurs, 2 of them in 1 day.   now all she had left was her spanish final.   on fri, during my lunchbreak, i met kaela in albany n' we ate @ tsing tao on solano.   that nite, we were s'pposed to go clubbing @ k2@s.factory.   we were running kind'a late, so the other ppl in our party sed they'd go 'head w/o us.   @ that pt. we just figured we'd do something else.   we were all dressed up, so i took kaela to skates on the bay 4 cockatiels... no, cocktails! n' appetizers.   it's really fun to do this stuff, i think... like the time @ the metreon's montage.   it feels nice to be w/ a beautiful gurl in a dimly lit room.   it feels groovy.   afterwards, 'twas 2 late to go o...

[now it's the 20th.]   as u can c, life is sorta bizzy.   i guess if i life is bizzy, u don't have time to report on it...   neway... lemme continue to try to catch up w/ life: sat... well, s.mike came in!   i picked him up from sfo 'round 1120a.   his flight came in early.   altho' jefflyn sed they'd put him up 4 his visit, he wanted to check into the nicest hotel in emeryville 4 a weekend, so that he could werk on some werk stuff in private in a nice place.   he had made reservations @ 4 pts.   i showed him courtyard, but 'tisn't open yet.   i brought him to the woodfin suites hotel.   wow, it's nice.   the service was very polite, i mean kissbutt polite.   the concierge andré sed he'd do nething 4 s.mike, n' s.mike believed he's gay.   kaela drove out to emeryville to join us.   we called jefflyn earlier, n' jefflyn, andy, roland, n' peter chung (jeff's ex.roomie) came out to emeryville.   s.mike treated us out to lunch @ hk east ocean.   i was starving; the fud was great.   after our long lunch, kaela n' i hung out w/ s.mike in his suite.   he was s'pposed to werk.   kaela studied, but then i drove s.mike out to berkeley to pick up darlene.   jason had called earlier to give his sales pitch on 2by2.net, n' tried to get me to go to the 2by2.net seminar.   darlene was going.   they're all involved w/ that, along w/ sam lee.   i wanted to support jason, but i didn't wanna go to a seminar 4 some program i had no interest in joining.   i already have sponsor links 4 my webpage, n' i didn't hafta pay $250 4 them.   here r jason's n' sam's 2by2.net pages, in case u wanted to c them.   after jason picked up darlene, since s.mike wasn't going to get ne werk done n' was just watching cable, we went downstairs n' borrowed my life as a dog from the hotel's complimentary video library.   'twas a dubbed version.   i don't like dubbed versions, but i realised that if it had subtitles, i dunno if it'd've kept s.mike's attention as well.   he loved the movie.   i strongly encourage all of u to watch it.   my dad brought me to camera 3, the sj arthouse theatre, to watch it a long time 'go.   it's a great swedish movie 'bout a horny li'l boy.   we didn't finish watching it when jefflyn n' andy showed up.   we all crammed into my forester n' drove off to ebisu.   sushi n' dimsum in 1 day?   what kind of hedonistic gluttons r we?!   jeff ordered a small bottle of hot sake, n' s.mike got sorta drunk off of just 2 shots, if that's what u call those li'l glasses.   whoa!   1 of the specialty rolls kaela n' i shared was called june 29.   i asked the waitress why 'twas called that, but she sed she'd tell me later.   then she told me 'tis called "june 29" cos the guy who invented it was named jun.   but then why the 29?   later i asked, then she sed the guy's b.day is june 29.   huh?!   so the guy's name is jun n' his b.day is june 29?   hrm... ok.   neway, 'twas all good sushi.

sun, i got up early n' drove out to emeryville to join s.mike as his guest @ woodfin suites hotel's complimentary breakfast buffet.   jefflyn, roland, andy, n' peter joined 2.   they were planning to go wall climbing.   the breakfast was great.   then i drove s.mike out to oakland chinatown where he had to use the atm n' buy a boba tea.   i wanted to go to the lucky goldfish to look @ the parrotlet.   oh, i didn't mention...   kaela told me on fri that she wanted to get me a parrotlet (n' cage) 4 christmas.   but i told her it wouldn't be a good idea cos of the josh apt. situation... but i definitely would want it later.   *sigh* it's 2 bad i can't have it now...   neway, i dropped s.mike back off @ his hotel n' went home.   later s.mike called me to ask us to come to emeryville to meet up w/ laura n' him @ the public market fud ct.   we went n' met up w/ s.mike, brandie, laura, n' joon.   i was to go to master yoon's house 4 a taekwondo mtg @ 730p, but sam called n' told me 'twas pushed back till 800p.   i wasn't sure if 'twas a dinner thing or what, so i ate a li'l snack, samosas.   i rushed out of there, picked up sam, n' hurried over to hayward.   jason, linda, kevin, sam, n' i went to master yoon's house.   we met his wife n' sons.   master yoon showed us his collection of martial arts awards n' memorabilia.   wow, 'twas like a museum!   he's got a very nice house n' family.   his wife cooked us a huge dinner: bulgogi, japchae, etc.   we discussed lots'a ucmap taekwondo bizness.

mon, whoa... finally catchin' up... sorta.   mon, kaela had her spansih final, then she came out to berkeley, n' we had lunch in san rafael @ korea house, which we bychance discovered.   'tis a so.so korean restaurant that apparently has a consistent group of non.korean regular clients.   we had haemuljjigae n' maewoondalk, but the meal wasn't nething really special. 'twas just surprising to c a korean bizness in marin cty that wasn't a dry cleaners or sorabol.   kaela cooked dinner that nite, but i didn't like the batch of rice i made.   'twas 2 hard/dry.   w/ my fuzzy cooker, i always ought to put in extra h2o.   we watched tv n' i cleaned out my room.   i'm going to donate tons of old clothes.   i really gotta get rid of junk here...

tues, we had a pizza party @ my werk 4 a departing programmer.   he was the 1st guy to greet me on my 1st day @ werk.   he 1nce offered to give me 2 parakeets that he couldn't take care of nemore.   maybe i should've taken them.   tues was last nite, huh?   whoa.   last nite, kaela cooked haemuljjigae, shiitake mushrooms, n' pangrilled fish.   joon, roland, n' laura came over to eat.   roland brought some see's candies.   then phil came over.   yup, phil's in town!   u know... kaela's really taking care of a lot these days.   i really appreciate it.

2day is kaela n' beno's 11th monthversary! ... [later] kaela came to cm, n' we went to the mall.   we ate crepes 4 lunch.

so after trying 4 that hard drive on ebay, i left the public health lounge w/ the beautiful kaela kang.   she bought me dinner @ 168; yummy stuff.   the power was out in my apt bldg.   i drove, trying to find a place 4 kaela to study.   'twas raining.   she studied in my car, parked @ the west entrance to campus.   then we tried to go back to my apt.   the outside n' hallway lights werked, but the individual units still didn't have power.   we had to light candles.

last nite, when i was in the car, i read a daily cal.   i read an article 'bout black frats n' sororities, 'nother on a "whitewashed" asian gurl in an asian sorority, an article on the quality of tap water, n' ryan sim's column.   now there's some topics!   i c that the daily cal saved its best pieces 4 the end of the semester.   maybe they're trying to win some collegiate journalism prize.   i don't think the daily cal is all that up there relative to other collegiate papers.   neway, some interesting topics: yes, the ethnic greek system subject, very intersting.   tap h2o quality, definitely a topic 4 ex.ebmud engineer beno.   n' the column?   well, 'twas just interesting to read... it's like this guy has his own web journal, but his gets printed n' distributed in the daily cal, just like when phil had his own column there...   ah, if only i could share w/ u those days when phil had a daily cal column...   maybe u can click to read: "stranger than fiction" (08.09.96), "a question of trust" (07.26.96), "independent's day" (07.05.96) "the new college try" (06.21.96), or "the metaphorical truth" (06.07.96).   now that's how a column should be!   u kids these days don't know nuthin' 'bout writing columns!   ha ha, just kidding... butchu know?   it's weird to think that was 1996... man, that's not so recent, huh?

i'm sitting in the public health skool lounge to the right of the beautiful kaela kang, on a 'puter, waiting to bid on ebay.   wow, this is semi.exciting.   i gotta get this hard drive, 16 mins to go.   so... whatsup?   last nite, i went to practice.   i practiced lots'a basics.   i gotta bone up on basics since i'll be teaching next semester.   n' bone i will!   that was in last nite's lord of the flies simpsons.   dooduhdoo...   i'm letting the clock wind down: 14m55s.   neway, after practice, since i couldn't get ahold of kaela, i went w/ laura to buy groceries to take over to albany, so she, brandie, kaela, n' i could eat.   we bought fud from solano safeway; we had chips n' salsa, a chicken n' safeway japanese veggies stirfry... 'twas a random assortment.   brandie warmed up a baby frozen pizza. 12m.

so didju go out n' buy the nudist on the late shift n' read the whole thing yet?   when u do, tell me all 'bout it, since i don't read much.   i'm very interested tho'.   almost 5m!   awright! i'm the current high bidder!   yah!   just gotta wait it out now... uh oh! bidding war! dang! i lost it @ the last sec!   stoopid win2k pull down menus w/ their stoopid delay!   argh!   oh well... i'll just hafta buy from ted via ken.   who knows, maybe i'll get it cheaper from him; but ted's not a really nice guy, u know? hrm...   ok, well, it's time to eat, now that this is over.   man, ebay's such a waste of time!   hrm... why play the bid to the last second game?   i think maybe it's worth doing auctions if u just bid a reasonable price n' wait to c if u won, instead of bidding till the last second.

i've never mentioned how much peanut butter i've been eating lately, huh?   yah, lots.   i keep a jar of peanut butter in my office desk, n' i eat peanut butter sandwiches now n' then.   sometimes it's my lunch; sometimes it's my breakfast; sometimes it's my late afternoon snack.   i've been eating lots'a peanut butter.   i always used to avoid peanut butter like crazy cos i thought 'twas unhealthy, but a while 'go men's fitness magazine discussed how it's sometimes not so bad, n' it has protein.   i bought low.fat peanut butter, 'course.

last nite there was a power failure in my building.   i guess there were numerous power failures 'round berkeley... 'round the state, 'ccording to the news.   yah, there's this electricity shortage in cali.   neway, i was hoping to go to the rsf last nite, but i didn't, altho' the rsf had power.   since the beautiful kaela kang couldn't study in the dark, i took her out to get fud n' study.   we ate @ party sushi, which has these masks on the walls as decorations.   ppl describe the masks as "disturbing."   yah, they can be.   then we went to borders in emeryville, where kaela studied, n' i just sat 'round.   i guess i could'a done some christmas shopping, huh?   man, what's gonna happen?   sometimes i'm such a lousy christmas shopper! *sigh*

as i mentioned yesterday, i'm trying to save money here n' there.   i know i spend 2 much.   i "live above [my] means," as ed park'd say.   i gotta cut back spending.   hrm...   but @ the same time i'm trying to do christmas shopping.   so i'm, like, shopping 'round, trying to find good prices on stuff, but then i'm just plain shopping more, so i'm more likely to buy stuff i don't need to buy, u know?   geez.   young ppl do know how to waste money, huh?   i was reading a li'l of the nudist on the late shift: and other true tales of silicon valley while @ borders.   'tis an interestig book, n' u might wanna check it out.   'tis by po bronson, n' published by random house.   it's 'pparently very popular n' a best seller, so maybe u've heard of it, since u prob'ly read more books than i do.   neway, it talks 'bout life/lifestyles in the silicon valley, 'bout famous silicon valley technocelebrities...   *sigh* it's funny, cos i don't really live the silicon valley life, but i am a bay area engineer.   i live in berkeley n' werk in marin cty, so well... hrm... just how much do i relate?   the book talks 'bout how wanted engieers r in silicon valley.   yah, maybe.   i c job postings all the time 4 positions in silicon valley, but i don't wanna werk in silicon valley.   i like visiting the sobay, but *sigh* i don't wanna commute down 237 or up 101 every morn!   plus, kaela's still in grad skool n' all...   yah, that book really emphasized how much engineers r wanted in the valley... hrm... sorta made me think 'bout my career path.   the book also brought up a great point, that money isn't respected in the silicon valley... hrm... well... that's not quite it... it's like ppl throw it 'round cos they don't know how to spend it.   it sed something 'bout ppl w/ distastefully unfashionable furniture... n' then the author gives this explanation... let's say ur office had a football betting pool, n' u got a free ticket to bet.   well, let's say u don't know much 'bout football n' don't even like it, so u just check off a bunch of random teams...   is it that u have poor judgement?   no! it's just that u don't care!   so the author's saying that money isn't spend gaudily cos ppl have bad taste, but cos it comes so easily.   but then... money itself isn't respected... ppl w/ lots'a money rn't respected.   something like that.   it's a really interesting book.

i can sorta relate to that pt 'bout money.   i c it in ppl 'round me n' maybe i c it in myself... like, u don't want to be this rich ba$tard that is all greedy n' hordes money... (money = evil.)   but then u have a job, n' they pay u money... so what do u do w/ it?   yah, so u got this temptation just to dump it all somewhere, spend recklessly.   it's sort've a spiritual cleansing... ha ha.   *sigh*   but seriously! i think ppl of my generation, (whatever that may be), can be like that...

well, so me, i'm trying to c where i can pinch a penny here n' there... no, i'm not trying to turn into a scrooge or even make a big deal 'bout it, but it's 'bout time i took a step back n' re.evaluated my budget.   i'll tell u, i've definitely tried not to spend money @ lunch, since i know we've been eating out @ nite so much these days.   *sigh* but it's like s.mike sed back when he was here: if u get paid so much per hour as an engineer, is it more worth ur time to cook or to let some1 else (whom u've paid) spend their time cooking 4 u?   eh! but i never agreed s.mike on that issue.   that's not the right way to think, i figured.   u don't subtract the time spent cooking from the hours u'r paid to be an engineer; u subtract them from the hours that u'r not paid, ur free hrs.   *sigh* but those free hrs cm so precious sometimes...   yah, sometimes cooking, setting up the meal, planning the meal, n' cleaning up can be so stressful, especially w/ my apt situation... *sigh* so i dunno.

well, i hope i wrotechu an acceptable journal entry.   this cms to be just 'bout what i figure i want my typical journal entries to be like... i talk 'bout my life, i talk 'bout something i heard/read, i talk 'bout other ppl's perspectives, i talk 'bout my opinions on other ppl's perspectives... n' i let u know what's up in my life.   i figure that's 'bout right.   i dunno; what'chu think?

it's not officially winter yet.   it is, however, officially jerome's 21st b.day, so happy b.day jerome.   ha ha.   we had fun @ the party on sat, n' 'twas kewl of him n' micah to put it 2gether.   well, yesterday, was cold.   2day is cold n' rainy.   yesterday, i took the beautiful kaela kang to christmas in the park in san jo.   'twas fun.   well, actually, we just coincidentally ended up @ christmas in the park.   we went to san jo to do some other things.   we were waitig 4 ken.   we ate an early dinner @ point, the korean place on el camino.   actually, we were trying to go to a soondae restaurant, but 'twasn't open.   then we drove 'round n' found christmas in the park.   'twas kewl, lots'a stuffed bears n' christmas trees.   i hope the stuffed bears do ok in the rain.   'twas good to c ken.   i'm thinking: how can i save money here n' there?

so jerome n' micah's party was kewl!   we started @ micah's place.   it started to really fill up.   but i wanted to mingle n' stuff, so i threw on the old benomix2 wintermusik.   i was just 'bout the get back to live djing when the cops came n' gave us our "official warning."   then a taekwondo student volunteered a room @ the american baptist seminary of the west 4 the party.   we moved the whole party over there.   it's right 'cross from my place.   micah lives a block 'way from me.   it was so easy to move stuff.   so we set the party back up, n' i deejayed.   i was saving good songs 4 later, but then some1 affiliated w/ the seminary came n' shut us down.   oh well, we tried.   the party actually went on 4 quite a while.   'twas really fun.   the beautiful kaela kang was very beautiful in her outfit, n' she had that shiny maroon jacket that her aunt gave her.   i like!   n' 'twas a b.day party 4 jerome, so we gave him his vcr b.day present.   i hope he likes it.

my g.book was messed up 4 a while.   it's still not what i want it to be, but i temporarily fixed it.   the htmlgear ppl r now limiting what their users can do, i guess; they dumbed down their g.books quite a bit.   it sucks.   i'll look 4 a new place to have my g.book, but till then this is it.   don't be afraid to sign it; i don't insult all my g.book visitors, just that 1 particular loser... whatever!   neway, i guess i'm deejaying jerome n' micah's big taekwondo party 2nite.   yah, it should be a fun party.   i told jerome tho', we can expect it to get shut down by cops.   almost all the house parties i djed in berkeley got shut down by cops.   old ppl who live nearby always call the cops 'bout noise.   they never understand this is a college town.   but then 'gain, it's finals time now, so even some young'uns might call the cops on the party.   who knows.   'course werk's been bizzy.   last nite, the beautiful kaela kang cooked us kkorikomtang.   i found the recipe on korean yahoo!   it was a good dinner.   then i got to burning some of kaela's napster mp3s to cd.   i ate lunch 2day @ dave's tacqueria w/ my cowerker chris.   [later] k, this journal entry isn't really going newhere, so i'll just leave it @ this.

i'm s'pposed to deejay this big taekwondo party 2morrow nite that jerome n' micah r putting 2gether.   hrm... i hope ppl don't mind if i just sort'a play it chill n' just play whatever i want cos i'm not totally ready to deejay, but i'm gonna do it.   i mean, i'm not totally up to cater to a party as if i were deejay 4 "customers," but i don't mind deejayig 4 friends, playing whatever i got.   i'm thinking of actually buying some cds 2nite.   u know, lately i've been mostly dling mp3s, n' only buying a korean cd now n' then from angelpop.   i guess that's what the recording industry is afraid to hear, huh?   man, but look @ me, i've given the recording industry more than my fair share of money in my days!   frick, have u cn how many cds i've wasted money on in my yrs as a deejay?   really, tho', i'm all 4 napster, mp3s, n' free internet distribution of mp3s.   'merica's got 2 much legal this, legal that, n' ppl r 2 lazy to find better ways to make a living...   well, hrm... is that what i really mean?   well, 'tis like this: a "recording artist," (which is not the same as an actual musician) needs to make a recorded product that is marketable... like the whole package!   i mean, if an album is such a good collection of music n' is a good product overall... has a good album cover, this n' that... then of course, i'll buy it instead of downloading it from the net.   but if a recording artist tries to get by by just having 1 good song, then yah, i'd rather dl his/her 1 song from the net.   in my time, i have bought tons of cd5s, or "maxi.singles" as u may say.   as a dj that uses cds, i'll say that these r very useful to me: i can reach 4 a cd n' have exactly the song i want n' my choice of mixes 4 that song.

i'm trying to plan this ucmap taekwondo snowtrip.   it's s'pposed to be big.   i'm considering it a trip to share snowboarding w/ all sorts'a taekwondo friends who have never gone snowboarding b4.   it's not gonna be a real hardcore snowboarding trip 4 me, i guess... i know jefflyn don't like the idea of boreal cos it's not this hardcore downhill resort... but u know, i'm gonna be relieved to get back to park/pipe riding after all the downhill i did last season.   i'm a freestyle boarder, not a freerider!   but i guess i got a good taste of downhill speed riding, 'specially w/ dave.   so, in the end, if we go to boreal, maybe this will be a hardcore snowboarding trip 4 me.   like, actually riding the park is often better 4 beno... like, i can't bring beginner friends down some steep cliff of a run! but i can sorta let semi.beginners ride w/ me in the park @ boreal, as long as they don't hurt themselves... u know?   well, i guess it depends on which park n' how they made it this yr.   i do want to be able to spend some time this season improving my own snowboarding skills.

yesterday, i got my tornado.   ken n' nelson used to praise tornados, but now they say that they don't do 2 much unless u have some monster truck or something... like i guess it werks better w/ big engines... as in big volume engines.   that would make plenty of sense.   i got a 2.5l under my hood.   i got my oil changed; i dropped my car off @ albany ford subaru.   then kaela drove us to walnut creek, where she did some christmas shopping @ broadway plaza.   she bought some cute stuff 4 her pregnant supervisor's soon.to.be kids @ gymboree.   that store sure has cute stuff.   we went to the ghiradelli store there.   it's an express version of ghiradelli sq, i guess.   we ate @ cpk, cali4nia pizza kitchen.   we had shrimp spring rolls, a white balsamic provencal salad, n' a tandoori chicken pizza.   the pizza was good w/ the chalula hot sauce.   i was worried the mexican flavour wouldn't mix w/ the indian flavour, but actually the sauce made the pizza taste more indian, imho.   well, after dinner, we picked up my car n' went home.   then i installed my tornado.   the nite b4, i werked on my 'puter; late nite, i werked on my car...   always something to do, huh?

[slightly later] oh, i 4got to metion!   yesterday nite, ken showed me how to do text messaging 4 verizon cellfons!!!!   go to http://www.app.airtouch.com/text_messaging/gca.html.   a'ight; have fun!

[quite a bit later] kaela came n' had lunch w/ me in corte madera.   she took me out to lunch!   it was a late n' rushed lunch.   she's going to make kkorikomtang, oxtail soup, 2nite.

so i've been thinkin' 'bout getting all the netwerk stuff 4 my 'puter n' that of the beautiful kaela kang.   i mean, if we're gonna have 2 'puters in the same room, might as well netwerk 'em, right?   i spent last nite trying to hook up my u160 scsi card.   my old hd didn't cm to want to cooperate 2 well w/ it tho'.   i ended up switching back to my old scsi card.   i guess when ken gives me my new hd n' when my new plextor cd reader comes in, i'll need to use the u160 card, so i'll hook it up then.   'least i tried it out n' am a li'l familiar w/ the bios n' stuff like that.   heh, man... look @ me spewing all this technogarbage!   frick.   *sigh*   no, i'm a simple guy who lives in a handbuilt log cabin by the lake!

last nite, kaela n' i ate jjajangmyuhn @ yeitnal jjajang, a good simple meal.   then i played w/ my 'puter stuff.   i was s'pposed to go to werkout last nite!   nuts.   i woke up this morning n' my ankle was so sore.   i dunno why.   i haven't werked out since last week.   i wore an ankle brace 2day.   i had a dream this morning that i was skateboarding in san jose.   i was riding down camden ave. by the almaden library.   there was this fud stand thingy, like a roach coach.   it had a shelf w/ condiments.   i did a ollie backside 270 mute tailplant on the shelf then jumped back to the sidewalk.   the guy werking @ the fud stand like it so much he gave me free fud... i 4get what.   i guess i was younger in the dream, a kid.   2 other kids started picking on me, n' we got into a fight.   violent dream!   many taekwondo friends have told me they have had violent dreams n' woke up kicking.   i've had those.   man, skateboarding n' taekwondo fighting... no wonder i woke up w/ a sore ankle.

i'm gonna drop my car off 4 an oil change n' go christmas shopping w/ kaela.   offline christmas shopping!

i'd really like to get back to posting dine.com reviews.   i still gotta do xanadu, allegrias... n' a whole bunch'a other places.   i haven't been to san jo in a long time.   i e.mailed ken yesterday, but he hasn't replied.   i really need to know if he's got my hard drive yet.   well, i also really need that hard drive.   yesterday, i reinstalled win2k on my 'puter.   oh, n' i moved the beautiful kaela kang's monitor into my room n' hooked up my 'puter.   so now her 'puters totally not in the kitchen, so well... tsss... that whole josh mess...   neway...   i was thinking this weekend, what do i want 4 christmas?   well, since kaela asked me.   but i really can't think of many material things...   i'm relatively content w/ life, right?   i mean, lately i get stressed 'bout this n' that... kaela's finals get me stressed; she's stressed.   but i try to have us both just focus hard on her cute, fuzzy, black mittens from old navy, n' all our troubles disappear, u know?   the only thing i can think of wanting is a nice, new place to live.   but that's not really something i can get.   i was always hoping that the next place i move into'd be a place i bought.   hrm...   well, we'll c if i can hold out that long.   @ dinner last nite, jeff cmed confident that i had 'nuff money to put down a down payment on a place, based upon dave's deal w/ his condo.   linda also bought a condo; i wonder how much she paid 4 hers.   but they both live 2 far south or southeast 4 what i'd want, i think.

yesterday, after i picked up kaela, we were s'pposed to go move her car in albany.   we saw jefflyn n' roland in the thai noodle restaurant, n' they saw us n' called us up n' invited us to join them.   of course!   we joined them, n' i had some sorta bland thai soup noodles w/ pigmeat n' fishcake n' fishballs.   the soup noodles were sort'a bland but the company n' conversation were just right.   it was good to c jefflyn n' roland n' dine w/ them.   we loitered 4 a long time.   then kaela n' i took roland home n' checked out his apt.

i 4got to mention that i'm going to be teaching the white belt taekwondo class next semester, huh?   of course, check out ucmap.org 4 the details in enrolling in the class!   it's good timing cos my 1 of my 1st students rosalie just tested 4 her 1st dan black belt.   so it's time 4 me to start raising a whole new generation, right?   ha ha.   ha ha.   well, the class is tu/th 730-900p in the rsf.   yah, come join!   it's 'bout time i taught 'gain.   it's good 4 me to 1) werk on basics n' 2) werk on teaching skills.   every1 should be a teacher of something sometime in life.   i guess i'll look 4 a big boombox like supermike's, so i can have musik in class now n' then.

dang, man... i was typing out this journal entry, got pretty far; then ocf frickin' crashed n' lost it...   dang...   neway, i'll try to type it 'gain.   so... uh... shoot... u know how hard it is to retype something that got lost on the net!   neway, 'tis sun morning 'right now, but now it's sun noon...   man, well, that part got messed up now.   well, it's been a full weekend, a fun weekend so far.   n' i guess i have my possibilities of what i can do: i can just relax, i can go down to milpitas to pick up my hard drive from ken, i can clean up this place, i can go christmas shopping... but i can't practice taekwondo this afternoon cos the hapkido club is having their promotional tests, as we hads ours yesterday.

well, the weekend started out on fri, as weekends tend to do.   i werked a full day's werk.  ppl had no particular plans 4 the nite.   some ppl went to the rsf either to help linda n' jason practice 4 the pan.am games, or to help students get ready 4 the promotional tests, or else just to practice cos they themselves had a promotional test.   well, i drove back to berkeley from werk, picked up the beautiful kaela kang from starbucks, went to any mtn. to pick up my snowboard that i had dropped off there 4 base repairs.   we saw jefflyn drive by n' park.   i knew they must'a gone to eat @ kirala.   i knew that would'a been a good option 4 us 2, if only we already had a spot on the always long waiting list.   yesterday, i found out a li'l secret from jeff, n' i guess i'll hook y'all up: u can actually call in a li'l in advance to putchurself on the list.   as far as i know, u still can't make reservations, but this is good 'nuff since every1 knows that kirala's the best japanese restaurant in the east bay.   n' if only ebisu wasn't 'round, ppl'd say that kirala's the best japanese restaurant in the whole bay area, as i do.   but then 'gain, i still gotta give ebisu a 2nd shot n' just order sushi.   n' there's also that posh posh sushi place in downtown sf that i'll someday try, i guess.   we'll c.   neway, we drove home to drop off my snowboard, n' the whole time we were waiting to get fon calls from ppl.   we were hungry.   kaela suggested nepalese fud.   since i knew we needed to drive down solano to drop off her rent check, i figured kathmandu'd be the choice.   but then 'twas really crowded; n' neway, i wanted to get out of this 2 horse town n' go to the big city w/ tall buildings w/ lots'a christmas lights! (heh, 'course i only gest in calling berkeley a 2 horse town.   'course berkeley is kewl!)   neway, i also wanted to show kaela how fastrak werks.   so we went 'cross the bay bridge, got to avoid all sorts'a traffik thanks to fastrak.   my transponder beeped n' i sed my thank u.   we figured we'd eat n' watch a movie.   i knew bounce had opened.   kaela checked moviefon, n' the only place playing it was the metreon, that crazy, overpriced entertainment palace.   the movie was @ 1000p, so i knew we had li'l time.   we drove past thirsty bear brewing, since i knew we hadn't much time.   else yah, it would've been a good nite to try the tapas place that jefflyn n' cal always rave 'bout.   we parked, went to the metreon.   so what could we eat?   yah, i know there's the fud ct on the 1st floor... but hrm...   altho' we only had so much time, i wanted to try to take this hot chick to a li'l fancier place.   so we went upstairs to montage.   we told the maitre'd that we only had so much time, n' he was good 'nuff to suggest we just have a quick dinner in their cocktail lounge.   'twas a perfect idea cos i was thinking 'bout how much fun 'twas to eat in a nice cocktail lounge, like the time @ skate's that sandy, chals, n' i met up w/ master park b4 he left ucmap.   so we got to try a few small dishes: a garden weed salad, a spiced pumpkin asiago flatbread, n' ribs in hoisin sauce.   'twas good fud.   they burned the flatbread, so we sent it back, n' the 2nd 1 was pretty dark on the bottom 2.   but the waitress was nice, polite, n' attentive; n' kaela agreed it was fine i didn't like stiff her on the tip or nething.   so we watched bounce; interesting movie.   i think their relationship was a bit unhealthy tho'; n' ben affleck, as an actor, didn't convince me that he really loved gwyneth all that much.   [dang, i got kicked off my uc annex connection!   4got 'bout the time limit... dang, so i typed a whole bunch more, but it got lost! dang! but i'll try 'gain to retype...] ben affleck expressed emotion 'bout as well as keanu reeves usually does.   but i personally don't think keanu reeve's a bad actor, so i'm not saying ben affleck was that bad.   his best acting was in chasing amy tho'. gwyneth paltrow showed emotion well tho'.   whe's been taking more down.to.earth roles lately, huh?

the metreon: sony had this grand idea, but it really flopped right 'way.   maybe it tried to be 2 much.   but i think it's still a really glamourous, hip place.   it really brings big city class to soma.   everything's really overpriced, 'specially the parking, but it's a place where lots'a hip, young ppl hang, families play, yuppies dine n' drink...   'twas a good idea that flopped, but i think it still has some use.

sat morn, kaela drove my subaru n' dropped me off @ the rsf.   i judged the green/blue tests n' jacob's black stripe test.   we all watched joc, patrick, n' rosalie test.   i guess rosalie'll be the 1st of my students to become a black belt.   kaela came in n' watched the test.   'twas a really intense test, but all 3 did well.   the black belts went to koryo sootbool 4 an awesome dinner.   we had so much fud, so much meat: tons of bulgogi n' kalbi, roast gui, samgyuhbsal, yook hwe!!! yah, i think raw, dead animal is good.   n' since i knew joc likes raw meat n' since she just tested, i figured we should have some.   we had tons of meat.   1 big table complained they had no fud, n' i guess 'twas cos no1 spoke korean @ their table n' could order.   not that u can't order in english...   n' i thought leo prob'ly could speak korean.   but neway, they were so hungry, n' we were so full.   i ordered some fud 4 them cos garth cmed to be having so much trouble telling the waitress he wanted the stuff in the cow dish.   dr. min made some ppl sing, but he left pretty early.  'twas a really fun dinner.

then brandie dropped me off w/ kaela @ starbucks.   then we went over to andy's n' played liar's dice while others played virtual tennis n' other sega dreamcast games.   then we were s'pposed to go bowling, but 'twas 2 crowded, so we went to play games @ a bar called albatross on san pablo.   we played darts 4 a while.   we met bruce! brandie's bruce!   yah, he's a handsome fellow; good 4 brandie.   then dave, andy, jefflyn took off 4 home.   i dropped roland off.   joon, laura, kaela, n' i joined brandie, bruce, n' garth @ deanna n' darlene's.   later jason came over.   we ordered west coast pizza, watched tv, watched friday n' chilled.   it's been so long since i saw so many of the ppl i saw on sat.   'twas good to c them.   shoot, i even saw chals after all this time.   his hair's grown out a bit.

i got to use fastrak 'gain this morning.   when u pass thru the fastrak gate, ur fastrak "transponder" beeps a few times.   back when i'd be a normal ca$h or coupon paying customer @ the toll boothes, i always made sure to say, "hi," or "good morning," n' "thanks."   'member?   sometimes it'd really set the mood 4 the morning as i drove in to werk, 'specially when i used to drive 'cross the bay bridge.   u know, like, if the employee was rude or just muttered back, it wouldn't be as nice as if he/she cheerfully sed "good morning" back, u know?   well, now my fastrak transponder just beeps.   but i'll assume that's a cheerful beep.   maybe i'll say good morning back to my transponder.   hrm... so i should prob'ly put a happy face on it somehow 2.   hrm... then it'll have no choice but to look happy.   that sounds so sad, huh?   'lotta times burds have no choice but to look happy.   the shape of the beaks of budgies n' luvburds... when u look @ them from the front, it looks like they're smiling @chu.   but who knows if they're really happy or what.

so last nite the beautiful kaela kang n' i went to taekwondo practice.   'twas open werkout 4 the most part.   master yoon, raymond, n' i planned out the mlk, jr. weekend snowtrip.   this'll be kewl!   master yoon really wants us to go to boreal cos it's cheaper than northstar n' squaw.   we'll prob'ly go boreal 1 day n' northstar 'nother.   i don't so much mind.   all of the snowcrew these days wants to go to big resorts cos of downhill boarding...   i didn't use to like downhill boarding much @ all; i just wanted to ride the park n' pipe.   it's 'bout time i got back to those freestyle roots!   so it's good we'll go to boreal 'least 1 day.   it's cheap, n' it's mostly 'bout the park n' pipe...   but then u gotta deal w/ lots'a li'l snow grommets talking trash 'bout each other, just sitting @ the top of the park, pretending they'll do a run, but just sitting there all day.   that's no good.   but i hope it'll be fun.   after practice, a few of us went to durant ghetto: brandie, laura, johnny, joon, kaela, n' me.   patrick joined us.   we went to mandarin house 2ice this week.   r we gonna do nething 2nite or what?   'member the smell of fresh cut grass?   how it smelled when i'd run 'round, playing soccer?   it's been a while.   i used to always play soccer as a kid.

while in chino n' watching tons o' tv, i saw oscar delahoya sing.   wow, isn't that the glamourous life?   this guy's a world class boxer n' a somewhat successful pop singer.   that pretty much sums up "coolness," the kind usually reserved 4 japanese anime characters, right?   but i guess sports stars who cross into musik isn't all that new; u got basketball players who rap, etc.   but i'm not much of a basketball fan.

so last nite, i picked up the beautiful kaela kang from werk, n' then we made soondooboo @ home.   i used my new sanyo neurofuzzy rice cooker 4 the 1st time.   it took a while to make rice, but wow!!!   this rice was so fluffy n' delicious!   i dunno if i'd ever had rice so good!   wow!   so i guess the cooker's worth it.   we ate soondooboo, rice, n' all sorts of banchan from home.   we finished watching palwol uy christmas on vcd.   we started watching that a while 'go.   it's a tragic love story 'bout a terminally ill guy who owns a foto store n' a traffic cop woman.   it's very artistic.   after dinner, i drove out to the oakland main post office to send off my traffic court papers.

life is 'bout right.   i don't feel depressed, but i still have things to take care of.   u know?   it's a balance of good n' bad.   i'm happy to have my rice cooker that makes delicious rice.   i used fastrak 4 the 1st time this morning, n' it saved me many precious minutes.   technology is wonderful, n' i am absolutely opposed to cell fon bans or ne such proposed legislation.   true, driving n' talking can be bad... but the solution isn't to ban cellfons, it's to get ppl to drive less.   u know that?   1 of america's biggest probs is that americans drive 2 much.   there ought to be better public transportation... but that's obviously.   u know... i usually figure america could benefit from copying 'lot of what asia n' europe does.   neway, technology is good n' progress is good.   oh, u know... while @ ontario mill, we went to their vans skatepark... man! san jo skaters r so much better... *sigh*   it's true!   i can't wait to go snowboarding 'gain a.s.a.p.!   sat's the taekwondo promotional test.   there might be a party afterwards.   i'm thinking 'bout visiting san jo on sun; i dunno.

[later] i saw my rice cooker on.line on sale 4 $175.   whoa! that's almost $100 over what i paid 4 it!   i got a free set of rice/soup bowls...

"be naked n' be free," i sed to my bush's baked beans beandoggy as i removed it's t.shirt.   oftentimes, it's best that stuffed animals just don't wear clothes.   sometimes it's ok, sometimes it's not.   the beautiful kaela kang ordered this bush beandoggy, n' i got it out of my office mailbox 2day.   it's cute, brown, n' full of beans.

last nite, 'twas good to c many friends after the t.giving break.   we got to taekwondo practice later than usual cos we thought it'd be just open werkout.   upes! jason han was leading class.   we joined in.   'twas a good werkout, n' i appreciate jason's leading class more than he knows.   i felt a li'l out of shape.   i really wish i could practice more often, like b4, when i'd go every nite.   it's really important to me.   well, there was some open werkout, so kaela n' i reviewed lots'a poomsae.   then we had a uc open mtg.   i'm confused as to whom i'm s'pposed to consider my official co.head... argh.   well, kaela n' i considered going home n' cooking soondooboo since i got the new neurofuzzy juhngi bapsot, but the idea of hanging out w/ friends was 2 tempting.   we hadn't cn these friends in a while: brandie, johnny, jerome, joon...   so we went to durant fud ghetto, ate @ mandarin house.   'twas a good time.   after we dropped off johnny, kaela n' i went to party safeway.

[later]   so @ lunch, i drove all the way out to oaktown to take my in.person test 4 webtrafficschool.com.   back in august, on my way down to san jo 4 that week i had cad training, i got a speeding ticket.   my mom told me not to be 2 late...   *sigh*   neway, it was a really dumb ticket; i wasn't going that fast.   neway, i finished taking care of traffic skool 2day.   phew.   but i wasted my whole lunch hr going to oakland, this n' that.   u know, yesterday, @ werk, i had to make some fotocopies.   when i opened the machine to put down the original, i found a cowerker's invoice 4 some sextoys...   hrm...   yah, what wouldju do?   i just took it off the glass n' put it ontop of some reams of paper on the ground.   but man... isn't that an odd situation?   oh, i didn't tell u 'bout when i bought 2 pairs of pants n' 2 shirts @ structure in brea mall, i got a free structure watch.   so now i wear a watch, even tho' i usually don't like to wear watches.   i used to always wear a watch; i'd feel naked w/o it.   but they'd give me rashes, so when i got a pager, i stopped wearing watches.   but now, i'm wearing a watch 'gain.   i'll try not to be so attached to wearing 1 tho'.   i'd rather be able to survive w/o 1.   i'm back to taking vitamins.   after running out of the 1.a.day vitamins i got from costco a while 'go, i didn't buy ne more till a coupl'a days 'go when i bought some @ safeway during my lunchbreak.   here's some good reading from y! 'bout asian america: "author explores asians in u.s."   some of my non.american readers might not fully understand ethnicity in america.   this article gives a good, brief overview of some asian.am issues.   n' it's a good, well thought out article article by an in4med, educated writer.   i'm not sure if he's asian or not, but he definitely knows a thing or 2 'bout asian america, u know?

[later] i got my fastrak transponder 2day!   wow, all sorts'a stuff is coming in.   yah, now i can cross bay area bridges w/o looking 4 dollar bills.   but this also means, that if i drive, i automatically am the 1 paying 4 the toll... unless ppl just give me donations.   i wonder if the fastrak ppl ever thought 'bout those implications; that the driver now automatically is the 1 paying when a group of friends crosses a bridge.

[later] i got to use fastrak 2ice 2day cos i went to sf to pick up some filter cubes... optical filters.   man, why r toby's concerts always @ times when i can't make it?!   i feel bad cos i kept telling him to rejoin the octet, n' i haven't gone to ne of his shows.

when i was running to gate 85 of lax to try to catch that ual flight out to sfo, i was carrying my new rice cooker in the plastic bag it came in.   the bag also had the free 4 bowl set i got 4 making a purchase over $60.   but the handles of the bag cut off circulation to the end of my index finger, so it was numb 4 a while.   i'm just now starting to feel it 'gain.   weird, huh?   neway, last nite, after werk, i picked up the beautiful kaela kang, n' i took her to 168, n' we ate dinner.   'twas fun, n' kaela had printed out some 411 on parrotlets, so we read 'bout them.   i wondered if this guy i saw was vic yip who lived w/ me n' phil in our foothill suite frosh yr.   dunno.   'twas a lazy, nite.   these days, i werk late, n' i do more werk... it's like the days when i werked 4 ebmud @ the orinda water treatment plant.   things were pretty bizzy, no time to write e.mail.   it's ok, tho'.   i'm glad i'm getting used to this kind of werklife.   but i used to goof off more, n' goofing off is enticing, right?   it sounds like fun, n' it is, i guess.   i bought vitamins @ safeway yesterday, when i went during my lunchbreak.   vitamins r good 4 me.

well, i have many things to say but very li'l time to say it.   i'm here @ werk late, but i wanna bust outta here a.s.a.p. n' pick the kaela kang up from her werk.  i wanna tell u 'bout how thanksgiving went n' all.   i hope u had a good thanksgiving... if u, the reader, celebrate thanksgiving...   i guess some of u rn't united states folk, so u rn't so into this whole thanksgiving day thing.   n' that's fine.   can u believe frickin' george w. bush is s'pposed to be our next president?   he's so stoopid!   sorry, but i absolutely am not 1 of those bay area democrats that r supposedly asking al gore to give up the fight.   there's nuthin' wrong w/ standing up 4 whatchu believe in, n' i'm glad al gore believes that the u.s. shouldn't have a stoopid president.   that's good.

neway, thanksgiving weekend!   uhm, i took wed off from werk, we flew down from sfo to lax on wed morning.   i drove the 3 of us (kaela, jeanna, me) to sfo, parked in long term parking, n' we sleepily took our united airlines flight down to lax.   mrs. kang picked us up from lax n' drove us home to chino.   we had such a sleepy day n' just sat 'round the house, watched tv, ate, etc.   late in the afternoon, kaela n' i went to costco n' sav.on.   that nite, mr. kang talked to me 4 a while, telling me 'bout his bizness plans n' life.

thurs, we went to kaju market.   we went to the cemetary to visit kaela's maternal grandmother.   then we went to rolling hills to have thanksgiving lunch/dinner w/ a whole bunch of kaela's relatives.   wow, 'twas a huge house filled w/ many, many, many relatives.   i met many relatives, n' *phew* boy, am i glad that i guess my insa was acceptable.   we ate fud.   it was a big party, lots'a fud, lots'a fun stuff... they had a pool table, all sorts'a toys, a whole bunch'a tvs... a piano... we played pool.   kaela tried on new clothes w/ all the women.   kids ran 'round all over the place.   they have a doggy named dukie.   then we had more fud 4 dinner.   later, we did noraebang, n' i sang a few songs.   i didn't think i would, but eh... why not?   then we left pretty late.   i might have dozed off a coupl'a times in the car.

neway, i'm trying to go thru this wrap.up really fast cos i wanna bust outta here...   fri, we went to todai buffet in puente hills n' had a disaster.   i was gonna pick up my todai v.i.p. card, but i never got 'round to it.   as soon as we sat down, a waitress somehow splashed chinese hot sauce all over us from a good distance away.   i dunno how it happened, but it was a big mess.   we had to deal w/ that.   it was a big ordeal.   the whole day was s'pposed to be this great outing that mr. kang had planned out.   he had all these maps printed out.   it was s'pposed to be a tour, n' we'd go to la korea town, so i could buy a rice cooker.   neway, we ate our lunch, then we went shopping 4 a shirt 4 jay cos the waitress ruined his, n' todai promised to buy him a new 1.   we went out to brea mall.   then we went back to puente hills to try to get a reimbursement, but the manager was gone.   then we went to korea town, where i bought a new fancy.schmancy rice cooker from kim's juhngi.   we stopped by some korean 'puter store, so mr. kang could buy those hangul stickers 4 his keyboard.   then we went home.   we watched lots'a tv.

sat, we went out to a big chinese buffet in chino.   then kaela n' i went shopping @ ontario mill n' brea mall.   we finally had our 1st real krispy kreme doughnuts!   well, we watched more tv.   we knew we only could get a li'l sleep cos we had an early flight.

sun, we had a big ordeal w/ united airlines cos they didn't let us on our flight cos they sed we were late, but we weren't! they just gave 'way our seats to standby passengers w/o giving us a fair chance.   jeanna went ahead on the flight we were supposed to board.   kaela n' i waited 4 the next, next flight to go home.   then we tiredly flew home.   then i showered, n' the 3 of us went to dimsum @ peony in oakland chinatown.   we shopped, n' looked @ all sorts'a burdies @ the lucky goldfish.   then we dropped jeanna off n' went to quikley, where we ran into ryan choi.   i was very surprised he remembered me.   sun nite, old friends called me: toby, supermike, n' phil.   i moved kaela's 'puter into my room cos i'm having probs w/ my 'puter.   so it's outta the kitchen...   i wonder if josh even really cares.   neway, i have much more to say, but i wanna get outta here, so i'll leave it @ this.   sorry.   yes, let's talk.   it's gonna be a fun n' bizzy holiday season.

i've had many canker sores lately.   can i discuss that?   it's cos of stress, huh?   but i feel better now.   but the canker sores still gotta go 'way.   i 'membered yesterday how the ortho n' the ortho assistants sed to rinse my mouth out w/ warm salt water if i got cuts from my braces.   i had braces from 6th to 8th grade.   i dunno why that'd help, but i did it 1nce.   i tried it yesterday @ werk.   it stung like crazy.   then i got used to the stinging.   then the sores didn't bother me so much.   is that the whole pt? to make it hurt so badly that u don't think 'bout the pain after u spit out the salt water?   i dunno.   or is it s'pposed to help in some other way?

well, last nite i took the beautiful kaela kang out to allegrias, as i sed i would.   lots'a yummy fud.   n' 'twas functional cos she got to talk 'bout it in her spanish presentation this morning.   we had all sorts'a goodies: tripe stew, snails n' clams stew, bunny rabbit stew, crab cakes, chopped up octopus on potatoes, n' a paella.   oh n' we had flan n' coffee.   'twas very good.   then we neoprinted in j.town.

2day @ lunch, after dropping off my mangaer @ the service station, i went shopping 4 a present 4 kaela's parents.   @ the mall, i pondered what to eat since i was so hungry.   i went to sorabol n' had kalgooksoo even tho' i expected it to be pretty bad.   i was right.   oh well.   'least now i can say i've been to sorabol in the corte madera mall.   i'm leaving 4 chino @ 920a 2morrow.   i thought 'twas 920p!   now i gotta skip werk, n' i was s'pposed to be @ a mtg 2morrow.   upes!   *sigh*   oh well...   the beautiful kaela kang has again graced my g.book.   yay!

[later] so i left off talking 'bout the g.book, n' i just saw that matt easton of the jenny thing signed it 2day.   some of u know the jenny thing; some of u r wondering, "who?"   well, i'll just hafta play their cd 4 u then, huh?   2 bad my closer and closer to less got stolen out of my car.   *sigh*   it's always cmed to me to be a very "winter" album.   i'll just hafta go to rasputin's pick up 'nother copy n' show u.

2day is the 10th monthversary 4 beno's being w/ the beautiful kaela kang.   she knows the plan 4 2nite.   since she's doing a report 4 her spanish class on spanish fud, i'm taking her to a spanish restaurant in sf.   this is the restaurant we thought 'bout going to last week; but things didn't werk out 2 well that day.   but 2day, in general, i feel so much better.   we had a good weekend in tahoe.   snowboarding always helps.   really.   i mean, hrm... i like best to go snowboarding n' do big jumps n' tricks.   but even if i have a whole weekend of just riding down the slopes, that even makes me feel better.

so we left on fri eve.   since i still had to pack, there was a li'l bit of panic, but it wasn't 2 bad.   we ended up leaving right on schedule.   jefflyn, roland, dave, jeff's old roommate jong, the beautiful kaela kang n' me...   i drove, dave drove.   the 2 cars met up @ the pinole in.n.out.   i had a free 2x2 from some ol' sweepstakes.   that was the 1st of many bad.4.me.fud meals of the weekend.   we made very good time!   wow!   i didn't know getting to south tahoe could be this easy!   i always avoided south tahoe n' opted 4 north tahoe cos i thought going to south tahoe was such a pain, but maybe not.   it was weird tho'; i had to drive past the site of the big spinout smashy smashy that happened almost 2 yrs 'go now... please refer to 01 february, 1999 "groundhog's eve."   on fri nite, i was following dave's civic on the twisty part of the 50.   then he passed this corolla, n' i was following the corolla, but i wanted to catch up to dave.   u know what? the next available passing lane just happened to be the passing lane where i got into my big accident.   *sigh* crazy!   so i was so tense as i passed the corolla 'round that tight turn.   phew...   crazy crazy!   well, the drive up went ok.

we had a big, greasy breakfast @ the mc yuk yuk's @ the "y."   that's the intersection of the 50 n' the 89.   i had the steak, egg, n' cheese bagel breakfast meal w/ orange hi.c.   man, what a filling breakfast.   i also bought a democratic donkey teeny beanie baby to prove i'm not a right wing fascist.   ha ha.   the cashier sed most ppl wanted the elephant.   well, ok... i guess that's the kind'a ppl the locals r.   heh.   well, in ne case all 3 r very cute, n' that's why a while 'go, i bought the whole set 4 kaela.   k, well, we were off to sierra@tahoe.   we had a full day.   man, i bought an adult ticket cos i figured i didn't want to go thru the hassle of pretending i'm 22 (4 a "young adult" ticket).   last season, @ northstar, i had to go thru so much embarassment to save a few bucks.   i might as well be like dr. eric johnson n' specifically ask 4 the "old adult" ticket.   only roland n' i got old adult tix.   even dave, my elder by 1 day, got the young adult ticket.   oh well.   'twas early season snow.   4 of 9 lifts were open.   i managed not to scratch my board.   i had a few li'l jumps, but there wasn't 'nuff snow 4 the resort to have ne big jumps.   i bailed 1nce when i sped up on a bank n' then, on my way down, i didn't c that there was a flat path cut into the bank, so i dug in.   if i knew the flat was there, i should'a just jumped over it.   the runs were really crowded n' full of all sorts'a nasty early season obstacles, trees, rocks, bare spots, etc.   by the end of the day i had a really sore left leg n' neck.   but 'twas all fun.   we went back to the cabin n' quickly showered.   oh yah, the nite b4, i got the crappy of 2 parking spots; i had to park atop a spilled garbage can.   un4tunately, in the morning, when i warmed up the car, the garbage bag melted onto part of my exhaust line.   so we had to smell burning plastic every so often.   neway, while most of us showered, jeff n' jong took dave's car to albertson's to buy some snacks, breakfast, n' a case of hefeweizen.   when they got back, we started watching happy gilmore, n' ate bananas n' kettle chips w/ hefeweizen.   then we took off to the hotels/casinos to find real dinner.   i asked kaela to drive cos i had just had a hefeweizen.   even tho' 'twas just 1, i figured it's better to be safe than sorry.   we ate @ harrah's american river cafe.   we gambled a li'l.   then we went home relatively early.   it felt so good to be early w/ all sorts'a things.   we went back, finished happy gilmore, n' went to bed early.

the next morn, sun morn, we decided to skip boarding n' just trek on home.   we had some sausages n' biscuits n' cinnabuns.   jeff n' i tried to make this piggy in a blanket biscuits.   they were ok, but we didn't do all that well.   then we left 4 home.   we stopped by vacaville to shop @ the adidas outlet.   then we went to the jelly belly factory in fairfield.   we took the tour.   it was uhm... so.so.   the factory doesn't have all that much to show.   'twas interesting 4 me to c the factory automation, but i'm sure most ppl don't notice "oh wow, they use yokogawa displays," n' stuff like that...   strangely, they focused so much on talkin' 'bout some sf dude who makes mosaics out of jelly bellies.   i guess he's a republican cos the only presidents he made mosaics of were reagan n' bush.   in fact, that whole company cmed really politically conservative.   i enjoyed sampling jelly bellies, 'specially the jalapeño 1 n' the tabasco cinnamon 1s.   i bought over a lb. of jelly bellies.   k, we did that tour thing, n' then we went home.   kaela returned her rental @ any mountain, n' i dropped my board off 4 base repair n' tune.   then the group tried to go to pho king in oaktown, but 'twas closed, so we went to a pho place on 10th st. in chinatown.   man, so much beef that weekend!   *sigh*   k, well, that was it!

i 4got to talk 'bout fri noon.   kaela, cos she used up my lighter, which i found yrs 'go outside leconte hall b4 a physics lecture, to burn ants in the bathroom, bought me a kewl lighter from livetoplay.com.   i received it on fri, just b4 lunch.   i went to the village mall to eat a big burrito @ la salsa.   i bought a pair of charcoal, 5.pocket stretch pants @ gap.   uhm... by stretch, they don't mean that they're skin tight, just that the material is elasticky.   they're basically jeans.   i figure this is good engineering werk attire.   neway, they were on sale, n' i had been pondering them 4 a while.   uhm... neway, i just quickly bought those n' got my @$$ back to werk.

*breath*   well, 2day's been a good day.   i got to werk much earlier than usual.   good! so i can leave early n' get ready 4 my big date w/ that hot chick!   it's been a pretty easy.going day.   maybe the stress i've had these past coupl'a weeks is all in my head.   i shall try to stress less, to take myself to that "happy place" when i feel stressed...   hrm... well, yah. isn't that a good plan?   i gotta give myself a better outlook on life, i guess.   sometimes, tho', i think 'bout how when i was in college, i very much dreaded the idea of being in between college n' marriage.   in some ways some of my fears have come true: i worried 'bout what kind of living situation i should have.   do young werking folk have roommates like college kids?   or do they all live by themselves?   or do they live w/ their sweeties n' honeys, etc.   c, i dunno... i didn't know, n' i still don't know.   *sigh*   yah, there r those in the silicon valley, n' they all do the werking life well.   they might werk 4 big corporations, big tech or financial firms.   n' they're doing the "werking life" just as they're s'pposed to.   it's not like that's bad.   but really... i feel that's the "set plan," that's how it's "meant to be."   but then there r those of us who chose to stay in berkeley n' deal w/ being in limbo btwn college life n' werking life.   we still have our crappy berkeley college apts.   there r those in silicon valley who got 2gether as a group of 5 buddies n' rented out houses.   yah, ppl do that, i guess.   there r ppl who moved to emeryville n' rent nice, contemporary apts.   sometimes i wish i could do that.   but then i'd be throwing away so much money on high rent.   *sigh*   then there's dave who bought a condo in san leandro.   that's good.   mortgage beats rent neday, right?   well, so i wonder how beno should live in these times, postcollege / premarriage.   *sigh*   n' i've got such awful roommate problems.

'twas nice to talk to roland 'bout kewl restaurants.   i still wanna try betelnut in sf.   it's always so crowded tho'.   thank u to all u ppl who signed my g.book recently: novacaine, stefanie, n' jenny.   i guess i don't know u ppl, but wow, thanks 4 ur readership.   i just got my superduper scsi card n' my scsi terminator 4 kaela's scanner.   lemme open them.   hrm... the scsi card is right, the adpatec 19160 ultra 160 card; but the terminator isn't the right kind.   hrm...   i'll hafta get an rma, huh?   nuts.

*sigh* 'nother late nite / early morning entry.   i read the beautiful kaela kang's most recent journal entry.   that's a true journal entry; she really talks 'bout stuff.   she talks 'bout lotta stuff she hasn't so much expressed to me in wurds, n' it's funny cos i've been thinking 'bout lotta of those same things lately.   *sigh*   i'm definitely 2 emotionally dependent these days.   when i was single, i preached so much 'gainst the evils of emotional dependency.   n' i kept believing that after kaela n' i started going out.   but then i realised that a total lack of dependency is sorta like insensitivity.   i dunno.   'least it's easily interpretted as that.   n' maybe it is.   it's good to be vulnerable to those who u hold close to u.   u can't always clam up n' pretend to be strong.   i definitely believe that the strongest ppl show their weaknesses... 'least to those they love or those they call friends.   yah, defnitely.   neway, somehow i've let emotional dependency get carried 'way.   it's a really bad thing to let it get out of hand.   independency.   "all u women who independent, throw ur hands up to me."   that's what they say, right?   well, u know... many times in my life i tried to be independent.   yah, often i have come off as insensitive or rude when exercising independence.   uh, whuh?   yah, what do i mean by that?   i dunno; i'm not sure. but i think so.   i've avoided feeling coddled... i think that 1 way i've "excerised independence."   but... *sigh* that's a weakness i've had, right?   i know i've had childish "nooooo, let me do it!" times.   u know?

well, i guess 'least i've identified a problem in my life.   i hope i can somehow fix it.   i dunno 'xactly how.   i mean... 'course, u know i really love kaela.   she's really great.   she has all sorts of things i've wanted in a woman n' more.   but i definitely want to appreciate her 4 all that... n' not reduce her to an emotional crutch.   that'd be a infinitely, disgustingly terrible waste.   u know tho? 'member the conversation i had w/ phil?   he sed, "ppl don't grow during relationships, they grow in between relationships."   then yrs later i came up w/ a different skool of thought: "in a healthy relationship, ppl can grow."   yah, that all has'ta do w/ emotional depedency.   really, i think it's something causes problems in many relationships.   ha, here i go 'gain preaching 'gainst the evil of emotional dependency!   ha ha.   neway... to air some1 else's durty laundry, let's talk 'bout how when toby n' his ex.gf sarah broke up, he sed that they knew that they were using each other as emotional punching bags?   yah, c?   that's an example, right?   it's 2 easy, 4 a person in a relationship to try to blame his/her failures on his/her partner.   1 can try to argue, "oh, i spent so much time sacrificing 4 u that i couldn't develop my life."   yah, ok... so why didju sacrifice?   was it out of love? or was it just so u could have an excuse to be lazy?   hrm... now, that's a cynical thought!   well, hey... howzabout this? yes, sometimes, n' hopefully usually, ppl do things 4 their partners out of love... but hey... sometimes evil emotional dependency can play tricks on ur mind n' screw w/ u.   also... think 'bout how a person might try to make his/her partner emotionally dependent on him/her... so who's the real emotional dependent 1?   they both r, i guess.

k... well, i'm not a marriage counselor, i'm not a pastor, n' i'm not a psychology major.   i'm just beno.   n' here i go spewing @ the mouth all this crap.   oh well, buy it if u will, or don't.   i'm no wiseman.

yah, i wish i could really clean out my apt.   i've made some attempts in the recent past w/ the help of the beautiful kaela kang.   but it never cms quite good enuf.   i need space.   kaela had a suggestion, n' yah, i wish i could take lots'a my old stuff to my san jo house, but i seriously have no guarantee that my mom won't throw it all 'way.   this has happened 2 much in the past.   so then what? rent a storage space?   *sigh* waste of money... i'm trying not to spend so much money, right?   ha, as if ne1 ever tries to spend 2 much money, right? ha ha.   neway... i feel i've been wasting lots'a money lately, mostly no going out to eat.   it's a concern.   *sigh*   eh, i've sed it all b4: waste of money, yet there's the bad situation w/ josh, ants, n' lack of time, n' there4 no cooking. *sigh*   yah, i've been stressed.   it shows.   i have canker sores, zits, n' a sore back.   well, sore back.. that's from doing so much hands.on werk on the microscopes.   i guess i'm 2 tall 4 those machines, so i'm always bending my back to werk on them.

well, i should've been packing 4 tahoe instead of writing this journal netry.   *sigh* stoopid beno!   yah, kaela got the mail out of our mailbox by asking the mailman.   i'm very happy 'bout that.   who knows when josh'll come back w/ the mail key.   *sigh* this is not an ideal living situation.   well, tahoe.   snowboarding makes me happy n' healthy.

i've felt really burdened lately.   i don't want to mention this cos then every1's gonna worry 'bout me, but don't worry.   i've just had a lot to think 'bout n' less n' less time to actually think 'bout it all.   werk's been very bizzy, n' i have very full days.   mon nite, i tried to fix my stoopid printer, but it's just plain busted.   man, why isn't this thing built to last?   it was a very frustrating experience.   i felt really lousy.   tues nite, we had taekwondo.   we went to durant fud ct to eat, but it cmed that some ppl ditched us.   that's pretty lame 4 ppl to act like they're gonna hang w/ us then ditch us.   c, stuff like that makes me think, "who r my real friends?"   this whole "who r my friends" thing can really put me in a negative mood.   oh, on mon nite, the beuatiful kaela kang n' i ate pho @ that restaurant on center.   yah, we've been eating out way 2 much.   i dunno, man...   i have less time to cook, the apt is a big battlezone, n' there r ants everywhere.   c, so i don't feel like cooking altho' cooking's a small hobby of mine... usually.   *sigh* so i've been wasting tons of money on eating out... that's 4 sure.   *sigh*   neway, back to tues nite.   well, some of us went to durant fud ghetto, n' a subset who went to get fud actually sat 'round n' chilled, ate 2gether.   others got fud or drinks n' left cos they had to, but laura, johnny, kaela, n' i sat n' ate.   'twas fun.   c, good times can be had!   lemme tell u.

well, 2nite was wed nite.. oh, 'tis nite / early morning right now... 2nite, i was so frickin' bogged down.   i was @ werk late doing some experiments that totally got botched.   then i got a stressful e.mail 'bout taekwondo.   i was so emotionally beat up.   i drove home.   i felt so thrashed.   kaela had plans to go to a spanish restaurant in sf, but i was far from up to it.   i was so burdened.   then kaela n' i talked 'bout some stuff, 'specially this taekwondo issue... then we went home 4 a li'l, unsure of what we'd do next.   then we were gonna go to yeitnal jjajang, but 'twas closed, so we ate @ koryo sootbool.   'twas such an uplifting dinner.   it really brightened my outlook on life somehow.   i went in, feeling like such a failure in life, but then i filled up w/ warm fud n' felt better.   i had suhlruhngtang, n' kaela had gajaemi jjigae.   we also had some bindaedduhk.   koryo's always an interesting place.   how come sootbooljip always attract really "interesting" ppl?   1st there was this table full of random ppl that asked kaela to take there picture.   it was a very interesting bunch.   i'm not sure how many of the ppl @ that table were gay, but 'least 1 or 2 of them had to be.   we noticed 1 african-'merican gay guy had a very big butt.   it's not that we wanted to c it, but it was very obvious.   the table next to us was an asian guy n' a mexican guy, both speaking spanish to each other.   the mexican guy had the same isobune t.shirt i have.   one of the ahjumah waitresses stealthily checked out the headfons on his head while his friend was deciding what to order.   i dunno why, that just looked sorta funny.   i guess she found those wrap.behind.the.head headfons interesting.   1 of our waitresses was very atypical cos she was a young, very americanised gurl.   u don't find 2 many ppl like this werking in sootbooljip.   neway, the fud made me feel so good.   starvation makes ppl cranky n' negative.   fud lifted my spirits.   'course we shouldn't abuse fud like drugs, right?

[later] so now it's early evening, i've got a li'l time to write from my cubicle.   i woke up n' got to werk a li'l earlier 2day, so i guess i can leave earlier.   i miss getting to werk early n' leaving early.   it's a good thing i don't werk in sf... man, i dunno how i'd handle the werkday if i did...   well, 2morrow evening, some of us r leaving 4 a snowboard trip in south tahoe.   it'll be the 1st trip of the season.   i guess it's a pretty early trip.   man... i dunno why, but i feel so brain.fried still.   i mean, as i sed last nite, i felt better after dinner @ koryo, but in general, i still feel my life's more hectic than in previous months or maybe yrs.   hrm... maybe it's winter affecting me, i dunno.   i still gotta fix up my 'puter.   josh disappeared this whole week, n' so i can't get ne of my mail out of our apt. mailbox cos he has the only mailkey.   i ate peanut butter sandwiches 4 lunch.   i've been trying to eat as cheap as possible @ lunch, since we've been eating out @ dinner so often these days.   i have a picture of kaela on my office desk.   it's a nice picture.   she's very pretty.

[a li'l later] laura, thanks 4 signing my g.book!   it's nice to have friends sign the g.book or do a benoquote.

i've cn many movies lately.   pay it 4ward, x.men, meet the parents, bedazzled, charlie's angels...   u know, even tho' i didn't think ne of them were really great masterpieces, i had fun watching all of them.   sometimes that's all that matters.   sometimes, u gotta be a harsh critic n' really "think" when u watch the movie, n' c just how "smart" the movie is... then sometimes u just go n' laff n' be entertained 4 a while.   yup.   'twas a weekend full of movies n' 168...   on fri nite, jerome, joon, the beautiful kaela kang, n' i ate @ 168.   kaela had visited me @ werk that day.   she saw my new cubicle.   i took her to a nice lunch @ cali4nia cafe in the corte madera village mall.   'twas pretty fancy.   she came to my office looking so beautiful... what was i to do?   well, after werk, we met up w/ the 2 boys.   we all agreed we wanted something simple, not 2 expensive, so we were off to 168.   we hadn't been there in ages.   jefflyn told us coco's pregnant, but we had never cn her in that state.   we had a good dinner.   we were thinking of going to noraebang, but we had other ideas: movie, bowling, ice skating...   laura maybe was going to join us.   but then laura didn't.   since laura wasn't going to join us, we figured we should go c bedazzled since she was so 'gainst cing it... but since she wasn't gonna be w/ us...   so we went off to ua emeryville.   amc van ness 1000, amc kabuki, n' jack london r all full of asian kids n' asian college students.   ua emeryville is full of african american ppl.   they have more video games there.   well, we got there pretty much just in time.   we watched the movie.   'twas pretty funny.   afterwards we went back to joon's.   he n' doug have a nice studio in the americana.   we watched some korean musik videos.

sat, i thought 'bout getting my snowboard's base repaired.   we went to any mtn by kirala on shattuck.   i talked w/ the ppl in the shop, but in the end i decided to hold off on the repairs till after our upcoming trip.   then we went to exchange kaela's taekwondo shoes @ young's.   then we went to taekwondo demo team practice.   i left my compilation cd of fast korean musik there.   upes.   has ne1 cn it?   then that nite, we saw sandy 4 the 1st time in ages.   jefflyn, roland, dave, andy, jerome, kaela, n' i ate dinner @ 168.   sandy came to join us.   jeff's ex.roommate peter chung quickly stopped in 4 some fud.   we had a security guard quickly take our picture.   then we went off to sf to watch charlie's angels @ 1215a.   well, we didn't actually want such a late showing, but the earlier show was sold out.   it was good to talk to ppl i haven't cn in a while like sandy n' dave.   i've had lots to toss 'round in my head 'bout friendship lately.   who r my friends?   well... my friends r ppl who want to hang out w/ me.   but "hanging out" isn't everything... my friends r ppl who want to talk to me / e.mail me...   discuss real issues.   talk 'bout problems in each other's lives.   my friends can open up to me, n' i can open up to my friends.   my friends help me out, n' i help my friends out.   so well... i can reach out to some1 to c if he/she wants to be my friend.   i can be friendly...   but i dunno.   sometimes it cms to me that there r ppl i try to be friendly to, but they don't cm to be very friendly back 4 whatever reasons... i dunno.   i mean, i'm sure there r reasons.   maybe they think i'm annoying.   maybe they think i'm egotistical, loud, rude, stoopid, superficial, bossy, vain, mean, arrogant, selfish, snobby... i dunno.   *sigh*   sometimes, maybe i have the time n' energy to think' bout this... but i mean, it can be really self.torturing to sit 'round n' think, "how can i please every1?"   yah... i'd like to be friends w/ many ppl.   i do.   n' i want to be true friends w/ many ppl.   n' then there r times when this friend doesn't like this friend... but they're 2 friends of mine...   that's what happens when u have more friends, i guess.   if all u have in the world is 1 friend.   it's hard 4 that 1 friend to get mad @ u 4 being friends w/ another friend... i mean, if u only have that 1 friend... i guess.   it takes 3 to gossip, right?   n' stuff like that...   *sigh*   neway... it's fun to "hang out" w/ ppl tho'... sometimes i do wish ppl didn't think so hard 'bout everything n' would just hang out all 2gether n' have a good time.   but then some1'd complain that it's shallow friendship...   well, u know... maybe it sometimes is... but also maybe sometimes it's just "havin' a good time." *sigh*   neway, where was i?

so yah, we saw charlie's angels.   sandy drove kaela n' me.   we got to talk 'lot.   it's good to catch up... ketchup.   sun, i took kaela out to taiwan restaurant 4 taiwanese brunch.   we had some good fud, altho' we both had stomach aches.   then i dropped kaela off cos she was feeling sick, but i tried to go retrieve my compilation cd from the rsf.   i couldn't park.   i circled 'round... then i went to touchless to get gas.   i called jerome to c if he could help me out: if i were to drop him off @ the rsf, maybe he could run in n' get the cd.   but he was @ werk.   then i went home.   kaela n' i went 4 a nice walk.   we walked to the rsf.   i looked 4 my cd, but it wasn't there.   maybe sam has it.   but she did find last yr's uc open report that she werked so hard on n' which kevin thought was lost.   then we left.   i had this $15 gift certificate to eddie bauer that they sent me, a freebie.   i went there n' bought some stuff, werk clothes, i guess.   i could'a just picked out something under $15 n' walked 'way w/ a free gift, but i bought a wool shirt n' a sweater n' just got a $15 discount.   then we walked back.   i showed kaela this store juju on telly.   i really liked the clothes there from what i saw in the window b4 when i walked to my dentist's office.   it's only gurls' clothes tho'.   i think it's owned by this young korean couple.   kaela 'bout a nice, li'l black dress.   i like it very much.   then we went home.

well, what else is there to talk 'bout?   i really like my job a lot better now.   i'm a lot bizzier tho'.   i feel so much more productive n' useful n' everything.   it's a good feeling.   the woman in the next cubicle plays her musik sort'a loud.   she plays some countryish stuff, that i don't really like... then she plays dave matthews, which i don't really like... but she plays sarah mclachlan n' eric clapton, n' they're ok.   she cms like a character from ally mcbeal.   isn't that really ally mcbealish musik? i guess i wouldn't really know cos i don't really watch that show.   but i have cn it, n' i figure lots'a college kids think that's what life is like after college or something... that the werking.yet.not.married.yet life is like that... that u go out n' party after every werkday n' have all these office romances... uh... yah, sure!   that's not how it is, n' i don't think i'd want that.   i figure that's not how it is, but then 'gain maybe some ppl @ those big companies have all these peers to play w/ n' stuff.   the only time i went to a bar after werk was w/ cal n' owen, when we went to coat of arms in sf.   then we went to sushi zone in oakland.   that was a fun evening.   1nce, i hung out in the sobay w/ vince, ed park, jon aytec... n' some others... (uhm... who? heh heh... i 4get, but i don't think these ppl'd read my journal neway...) we had dinner @ tgi fridays.   yah, i felt like i was hanging out w/ a bunch of werking guys, a bunch of engineers.   n' yah, we were/r.   we got all rowdy in our own dorky way.   i haven't been in that environment in a while, i guess.

i liked charlie's angels.   i liked the 70s kitsch... is that the right wurd?   i liked the 70s stuff.   disco musik is really happy.   it's, like, "stoopidly" happy, but i don't mind.   watching the movie, i felt like i was watching a more subtle version of austen powers.   like, it felt like the movie satired pop culture of yesteryear, but it didn't it in a more subtle, maybe more intellectual way... if u r smart, u don't need to be told when something is funny... i guess.   i also thought it was funny that all the angels had some dorky things 'bout them.

well, i'm here late @ werk, i took a break to write this entry, but i'd better finish some more experiments, if i'm ever gonna leave.   these days, i/we've been eating out more, as a result of my staying later @ werk, i guess.   i'm 2 tired to cook.   but i guess it's like that semester, 2nd semester of sophomore yr, when i was studying hard n' i ate out very often...   yup.   on fri, i talked to joon 'lot 'bout his engineering skool curriculum.   i want him to do well.

last nite, i went to taekwondo practice a li'l late.   we had demo practice.   after dropping off sam, i went back home to check on the beautiful kaela kang.   we met up w/ brandie, jerome, joon, laura, mike, deanna, n' darlene @ the durant fud ct.   we had some fud @ steve's: yook kyei jang n' steamed mandoo.   then ppl went over to albany.   kaela picked up her gap delivery.   coincidentally, 2day i got an e.mail from gap.com telling me they've rejected me 4 their affiliate website program.   the e.mail was entitled "general reject," n' they told me that they looked @ my site n' sed it doesn't fit the market that they're aiming 4.   well, u know how i've got all these "sponsors" that give me a li'l spare change if u buy stuff from them.   so i thought gap.com'd be nice 'nuf to do the same.   eh! whatever.   maybe gap clothes r nice, but don't 4get when they were off endorsing george bush v. clinton way back when, right?   is gap still a big backer of the gop?   i dunno.   i 'member gap, inc. backed the gop, n' macy's supported the democrats.   i dunno if it's still like that or what.

well, 2day kaela came to visit me @ werk.   i had to dress nicer cos there was a board mtg 2day.   i took kaela to lunch @ cali4nia cafe.   it's uhm... overpriced, but it's not bad.   so i went 'head n' ordered my adaptec 19160 2day.   i gotta get the drive from ted via ken soon.   nelson insists i should get a cheap upgrade processor.   yah, i should.

well, last nite was a winter depression hibernation nite.   i picked up the beautiful kaela kang from starbucks n' took her to dinner.   we went to @sushi plus by my apt.   'twas a pretty good dinner.   when i got home, i fell asleep.   that's winter depression hibernation.   that's what happened 'round this time every skool yr.   that's why my grades were usually lower fall semester than spring spring semester.   so i slept 4 2 hrs, watched simpsons n' went back to sleep.   it's really awful.   i think i dreamed last nite, but i 4get what i dreamed 'bout.

i'm still upset over the apt situation.   maybe nuthin' big is gonna happen soon as fallout from the explosion, but i guess i really brought out issues...   well, yesterday, in my journal, i guess i really went off 'bout lots that has been on my mind.   i mean, not everything's 'bout the apt, josh, or whatever...   i talked 'bout being a spoiled brat v. a hard werker.   yes, that's an issue.   @ berkeley, i met ppl of all sorts of financial backgrounds, as far as their families...   rich kids come to cal, poor kids come to cal.   u've got kids who r proud to be poor or proud to be rich.   u got kids who r ashamed to be poor or ashamed to be rich.   u sure meet all sorts'a ppl.   n' then berkeley is the equaliser.   ppl come out, they get jobs.   the poor kid makes tons of money, the rich kid makes li'l money.   or maybe in some cases, the rich get richer n' the poor get poorer.   butchu never know.   well, in ne case, money ain't everything.   u gotta have morals.   n' it'd be nice to think that u came out of berkeley learning some morals n' values... that u had time to think 'boutchur place in this world, what u can do to benefit it...   that life isn't just 'bout making a profit off of other ppl.   i think so.   i think that the berkeley experience can teach a person to be conscientious, to care 'bout stuff like that.   i think so.   but not every1 come out thinking like that, i guess.

well, it's late, n' i'm in my office still, writing this entry.   yah, i wanna leave now.   i don't get to write e.mails or journal entries nearly as much nemore, u know.   but thanks 4 reading n' keeping in touch.

so last nite was intense, huh?   i'm not sure who r president elect is, but i'm scared to check.   i'll go check my y! frontpage now.   1 sec... nope, still no winner.   geez!   *sigh*   well, i've got a lot on my mind right now.   *sigh*   definitely.   i've had a long day @ werk, n' i'm pretty worn out.   i had lots'a pizza 4 lunch.   we were s'pposedly having a party to celebrate our imaging lab moving over from sf to cm.   well, i'm definetly happy 'bout that cos it means, as i sed b4, that i get to werk in cm instead of sf... which in itself isn't all that great, but i sure hate the cm commute less than the sf commute.   neway, if i do get 'round to writing all i want to write in 2day's journal entry, then it'll be a real journal entry, 1 that really delves into my deep thoughts n' feelings... lemme tell u!

my journal file is getting way 2 long, n' i'm pretty sure, starting next yr / next millenium, i'll start a new file... n' maybe i'll start a new file every month, right?   i dunno, something like that...   neway.   so a coupl'a days 'go my mom told me not to cut my hair so short.   i told the beautiful kaela kang this would happen.   i told kaela that my mom n' my sister don't like my hair so short... but i'm ok w/ it.   this was after kaela cut my hair.   neway, my mom told me not to cut my hair so short n' that that's why i got sick.   *sigh*   i'm 25, n' my mom's still telling me to cut my hair this way n' that way!   sheesh...   man, how long has this been going on?   how long does this go on 4 most sons?   from age 15 to 25?   or does it stop there?   a yr or 2 'go, ken told me how his dad told him not to cut his hair so short cos it doesn't look "professional."   whuh?!   ken's 1 of the most professional.looking guys i know... i mean, he doesn't dress really professionally, but his hair isn't by far not all asian gangstaish or nething...   it's not punked out, it's not coloured, it's not nuthin!   but his dad told him his short hair makes him look unprofessional.   huh?!   so what should ken have done?   have a bruce lee haircut?!   i mean... all respect to the great bruce lee, but i mean... is that what ppl consider professional in 2day's werking world or something?   there's some hair salon called bruce lee hair salon on the asian part of el camino.   when rosa saw that last christmas when she n' josh were down here, she cracked up so bad.   she imagined every1 walking out w/ hair like the famous bruce lee.   ha ha.

neway, well, onto the real meat of 2day's entry... besides the crazy election...   *sigh*   so after taekwondo practice, i brought laura, jerome, n' joon over to eat gnocchi w/ me n' kaela.   kaela skipped practice to study 4 2morrow's midterm.   well, *sigh*   ppl were over, n' i finally blew up @ josh, my roommate.   i was cooking fud 4 my friends, n' then he interrogated kaela, "when r u gonna take ur computer back to ur apt?"   well, frick! as if that's not a question w/o implications n' hidden meanings!   i mean, sheesh!   as is always the case w/ josh... there r things in this world which r perfectly fair n' legal.. but guess what! by doing them, u rn't being a pleasant person, u'r not being a nice person, n' u'r not being a friend.   that's so typical of this guy!   sure, he's got to get everything that's owed to him.   so yah... it's "fair" 4 him to ask kaela that question, despite the fact that what the question implies is "get ur computer out of my apt."   yah, it's perfectly "fair" 4 him to ask the question, n' it's perfectly "fair" 4 him even to just make the demand, give the ultimatum, "get ur computer out of my apt or else!"   yah, i admit, it's perfectly "fair."   but u know... it just goes to show josh is not a nice person!   so i blew up @ him.   i went on a cursing, swearing tirade, i guess u might say.   yah, i admit it.   i did.   n' i admit it was a very unpleasant thing.   it was unpleasant to go off on a loud tirade in front of a bunch of friends.   but shoot!   josh started this conflict in front of every1, so well... it's all "fair game," 1 might say.   sure, we'll spare all the niceties 2nite.   so...   i told him off!   i told him that he was being a jerk, n' didn't know how to share, n' that he's wrong in always thinking that we're taking advantage of him... that it's wrong that he has this mentality that he has to take advantage of others b4 they take advantage of him...   i went off.   what did he say?   man, he just repeated stuff my wurds back to me as questions... i guess some attempt to make me feel stoopid...   well, guess what, dude... those r my wurds.   maybe they weren't the most eloquent, but u know what?   they prove a pt., n' the pt. is valid, n' he ought to know all that!   i told him he's unpleasant, that he makes ppl feel uncom4table, that he makes ppl feel like he expects them to treat him w/ so much respect...   yah, i was harsh, but i told him 'xactly how i felt.   i didn't hide my vulnerabilities.   i was honest, sincere, n' harsh.   maybe i was even mean.   i was rude n' obnoxious.   i wasn't there to put on a front.   i just spoke to express my feelings.   no front.   so maybe he felt embarassed w/ me saying all this in front of laura, jerome, joon, n' kaela.   well, yah.   i felt pretty embarassed saying it all 2.   so he asked, "do u want to take this inside," i assume he meant inside 1 of our rooms, but frick!   what's the pt?   he started the conflict outside, so i told him, "no."   as much as i felt embarassed, n' i knew i was embarassing him... no.   i believe in sincerity n' honesty, n' letting my friends no what i'm all 'bout...   after all, frick, i'm writing 'bout it all here... n' maybe i've no right to air dirty laundry... but u know... it serves him right.   he already made me feel uncom4table w/ his behaviour 'round the apt... n' now he directly did this to my gf kaela...   i will not stand 4 it!

n' u know how this whole conflict winded down?   he started trying to say the whole situation started cos i should've asked him "permission" to bring kaela's computer over.   yah... sure that's "fair," but u know... ppl can also live naturally n' have pleasant lives w/o all this asking 4 permission crap...   what the heck!   i ask my superior's 4 permission...   my friends... they understand the difficulties in my life.   they understand the difficulties in my gf's life.     of course, they still could tell me they don't like what i'm doing, that my actions make them feel uncom4table, that my actions r harming them, that my actions r just not right... they can say that, n' they'd express it in the appropriate way, n' i'd take appropriate measures to fix things.   but they'd understand... they'd understand that kaela wants to spend more time w/ me n' she needs her computer w/ her to do her final that was due a few weeks 'go, altho' she got an extension cos she was sick...   n' 'bout that!   geez... i flat out told josh that w/ all his behaviour like this it makes kaela uncom4table even to werk on her final on her 'puter.   *sigh*   so man... u know, i won't stand 4 this, no.   n' that's why i blew up last nite.

n' then the conflict really started winding down... n' i don't remember every second, cos yah... admittedly, it was all pretty emotionally intense 4 me.   i 'member replying to something josh sed by saying, "u have a history, josh!"   n' then his last wurds were, "well, sorry if i didn't have everything handed down to me."   u know what that's 'bout?   well, this ain't nuthin' new.   this something josh has been openly bitter 'bout 2wards me.   he has this idea that i'm so spoiled, that my parents hand down so much cash upon me, that i get everything from my parents, that i don't werk 4 nething that i've ever gotten in my life.   well, guess what, josh... u don't think i ever think 'bout that?   my friends who read my journal know that i have extreme inner conflicts deep down 'bout all sorts of issues like this!   my dad thinks i'm materialistic.   my mom, in my past, tried to spoil me.   but my dad never believed in ne of that.   n' u know what? i don't believe in that.   i believe in werking hard; i believe in being productive n' contributing something to this world... but u know what else? i don't believe in materialism or money.   i have daily conflicts 'bout all this.   cos i'm only trying to do what's right.   josh 1nce sed that i'm homer simpson n' he's frank grimes.   u know who frank grimes is, right?   he's this 1tym char on the simpsons, this self.made man, an orphan who went thru all these hardships, n' put himself thru correspondence skool to get a ph.d. in nuclear physiks, n' then he werks next to homer simpson...   n' frank grimes thinks that homer has everything in the world, everything! n' he never werked @ all to attain it.   i'm not homer simpson, i belive in productivity.   n' u know... i don't really want to have to say nething 'bout josh...   when i moved into this apt... what did i bring w/ me?   a sleeping bag, an electric guitar, an amp, n' some cds.   i didn't have a bed, i didn't have a stereo...   no, it's not that i was "2 poor" to buy these things, but i thought long n' hard @ times 'bout minimalism, 'bout not being attached to tons of material things.   i didn't go off buying all sorts'a toys i don't play w/, like piano keyboards, rollerblades, bikes, guitars, etc... i thought josh spent so much cos he had all these things.   maybe he did, maybe he didn't.   i dunno.   but i knew he didn't use them much.   n' i thought he wasted his money pretty bad.   given he was paying 4 his own car, while i was mr. spoiled brat w/ cars handed down to me... but geez... it's not my fault he made such a bad finance deal w/ his dealer that it was taking 4ever to pay it off!   i'm sorry to say it, but that's his own fault.   n' i really thought this guy was pretty materialistic... he bought a cell fon... i didn't have a cell fon, i had a pager... that my friends gave me 4 my b.day...   u know... ok, none of this is my pt neway...   yah, i had things given to me... my mom paid my skool tuiton.   but then i also had jobs.   i've been employed since the 7th grade.   i don't say that to brag, but just to prove that yes... i have werked 4 money.   n' then i started my career @ ebmud... n' started earning my rent n' everything...   well, what 'bout josh?   i never saw him have a job back then!   n' i always werked from then on.   i never, unlike him, took a whole summer off where i didn't go to summer skool or didn't werk 4 money to pay the rent.   n' neway...   when josh got hired by his current employer... the company got bought out by siebel, yah.   n' then he went off n' called every1 he remotely knew to tell them that his company got bought out n' that he'd be a millionaire.   ok, i admit i can't tell what his intentions were by this, but u know, i didn't think 2 highly of these actions.   u know how it appeared to me n' others, that this guy was calling up ppl n' bragging that he had tons of cash.   *sigh*   well...   even if it were true that i had everything given to me by my parents... did i ever call ppl up to brag 'bout it?!

neway... it was absolutely wrong 4 him to say that i've had everything handed down to me.   bitterness is not justification, n' misplaced bitterness is even worse justification.   everyday, i think to myself, "man, am i just some lazy, 2nd generation american son?!"   i think 'bout that... n' i hate the idea!   i think 'bout s.mike's "4 every 3 generation, 1 falls," n' i hate it.   i want to make something of myself, n' i want to be productive, n' i want to contribute to this world.   i'm not out here 4 hedonism.   i know my dad werked hard as a 1st generation immigrant to this country.   i know my mom werked hard.   n' they're both educated.   i think 'bout that, n' i think 'bout how, in comparison, i'm such a failure... i think 'bout that all the time...   but'chu know what tho'... i wouldn't ever let josh compare his situation w/ that of ppl like my parents coming to this country n' werking hard!

so neway... that's my journal entry.   it's 634p, n' i'm here in my office still.   i stayed after to write this entry.   i wrote 'bout things i really think 'bout.   i wrote 'bout personal things.   yah, this is what i'd expect of a journal entry, i guess... whatever.   *sigh*

i don't have much time to write entries nowadays.   i'm gonna make this fast cos i wanna bust outta here n' go vote 4 gore.   this weekend, i had a lot of dreams, so i guess i was catching up on sleep.   i had some really bad dreams 1 morning, i think 'twas sat morn.   haven't had much time lately... no time to dream?   hrm...   there was sumpthin' i wanted to talk 'bout in my journal 2day, some topic, but i totally 4got... unless 'twas dreams...   *sigh*   last nite, after werk, i picked up the beautiful kaela kang.   we were gonna go to dinner @ katana-ya b4 going to target, but 'tis closed on mon nites.   so we went to sawooei #1 on san pablo.   kaela treated me out to dinner.   'twas good fud altho' we had 2 sit by these 2 loser redneck hick boys trying to proposition the waitress as if she were a prostitute.   it was pretty disgusting.   i think they were drunk.   if i were the owner of the restaurant, i wouldn't put up w/ those kinds of customers, but i dunno what the owner was thinking.   i think the waitress was her own daughter.   neway, we went to target, we bought some stuff...   we went home.   i peeled tons of persimmons... tons!   i figured, why just peel a few?

2day, i bought a dirt devil from osh, after eating a free roadrunner burrito from my buy 9 get 1 free burrito card that i filled.   i might return the vacuum cos i think it's cheaper @ circuit city, but i dunno if i have time.   i just chose the dirt devil cos kaela sed they have cute puppies on their commercial.   n' she also sed it werks well.

it's election eve.   be sure to go vote, i say.   vote 4 gore, vote 4 fienstein, vote 'gainst vouchers...   well, go vote.   so i went to san jo this weekend, n' we all hung out w/ nelson yee.   nelson's basically the same guy.   his hair is a brownish colour tho'.   n' he speaks mandarin chinese so much better now.

so on fri nite, we went out 2 movies!   1st we went to c x.men @ wheeler @ 700p.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i met up w/ jerome, andy, erin, erin's sister anne, laura, n' jocelyn; n' we saw x.men 4 the 2nd time.   then we went to la mediteranee, where jeff n' roland met us 4 dinner.   we had a nice dinner as a good sized group.   'twas really fun.   roland has some awesome pics from his sydney olympics trip!   wow!   i warned every1 that the portions'd be small, but i guess dinner portions r bigger than lunch portions.   ppl were pretty full.   i had chicken kebabs, like roland, but most ppl had the mediteranean sampler plate 'cept kaela who had the pomengranate chicken, n' joc who had the billet doux.   yup.   then jefflyn went home, n' roland parked his car in my parking space, n' we left to amc van ness 1000.   they were sold out of all charlie's angels tix, but we got tix to c meet the parents, n' nelson, his bro mike, n' his friend adam met us.   that was when i saw nelson 4 the 1st time in 2 yrs.   wow.   we saw jeff wang n' shun go into charlie's angels; that movie had a long, long line.   our movie was almost empty.   kaela n' i loved the movie n' laffed so much.   most others thought it was so lame.   *sigh*   i guess we have the same sense of humour.   i thought it was so funny how greg, ben stiller's protagonist char, could get into the most awkward situations.   i admit that some of robert deniro's char was a li'l 2 contrived, but i still liked the movie.   well, 'twas really late after the movie so we all just went home.   but nelson n' i got to catch up a bit.

sat, kaela n' i picked up laura n' we headed to the south bay.   we got home thru all the 880s traffic, then we snacked on some meat dumpling thingies from my mom's fridge.   u call them bawan or ro wan in taiwanese or mandarin.   we also snacked on all sorts'a cereal n' junk fud.   then i left the women home to werk on homewerk, n' i went to campbell fry's to buy a few stoopid, li'l things: a "free after rebate" power strip, some more coloured cd slim cases 4 benomix3s, n' some turkey jerky.   i took a look @ the hard drive n' scsi cards.   well, i came home.   steve was home.   we watched my sister on kpix talking 'bout the election.   we sat 'round 4 a while, then we went to ken's house to meet up w/ ken n' nelson.   i showed nelson a few pix from the past yr.   i gave them benomix3s.   nelson gave me this kewl chinese shirt from hk's shanghai tang clothing store, which is s'pposed to be quite a nice store.   it's a bit big, but i guess that gives it a baggy, hiphop style, right?   i guess i can wear it as outerwear, like a jacket.   then we went out to monet, a korean "hof" in sunnyvale on el camino.   we had lots to eat: golbaengi boochim, 2 tong dalk, haemool pajuhn, dduhkbokki... the portions r pretty small there!   we had some podo n' lemon soju n' 2 5000ccs.   gordon n' his gf enni joined us.   cathy yu made a brief appearance.   we talked n' talked.   n' then we visited ryan nishikawa's new cell fon store on deanza blvd.   he was there w/ his gf tiffany watching 28 days on carded dss.   he has a kicking/punching bag in the back, n' we had a li'l fun w/ that.   then we went back to ken's, where we fell asleep as we watched romeo must die on his carded dss.   we were tired.

sun, we slowly woke up.   we were s'pposed to leave 'round noon, so laura could meet up w/ her friend randy, but that didn't werk.   we had no clue 'bout our plans 4 the day 'cept that we had to help nelson fix his sis's 'puter.   i wanted to show them san jo, take them to some kewl places, but i was so disorganised.   we ended up eating some chicken salad n' crackers b4 i took them out 4 a short, short tour of almaden valley n' over to nelson's house.   we sat 'round.   mike talked to the ladies as nelson showed me tons of chinese n' japanese musik videos.   then we left in the late afternoon after adam stopped by to pick up some clothes he accidentally left @ nelson's.   kaela, laura n' i ate some chicken curry rice that my mom cooked 4 an early dinner.   we were tired.   we watched my sister do the news 'gain.   then we took off to berkeley.   i pondered stopping by krispy kreme.   but i didn't.

moonhee gave me some advice on life via an e.mail.   i hope u guys r reading moonhee kang's "life is good" illustrated daily journal.   it is highly beno.recommended reading.   u should read it.   neway, he gave me his thoughts n' life n' i cut n' pasted a line into my benoquote collection on my gbook page.   (dave kim added to benoquote, u should 2!)   he basically told me to be patient.   u know, lots'a older guys tell me that.   *sigh*   some things just come w/ age n' experience.   i c lots'a ppl succeed early in life.   some ppl r more successful than i am, some r less successful than i am...   how's that?   ok, 1st of all, u could say financially... or "careerwise."   hrm...     friends... peers try to push me this way n' that way "4 my own good," telling me i'll make tons'a money if i do this, do that... if i take up this job or that job... if i invest in this stock or that stock.   but i dunno...   sometimes i get really sick of all of it, altho' i do also sometimes appreciate "tips" n' advice, right?   sometimes i know what i want in life, but maybe some things r more possible than others.   n' sometimes i just plain don't know what i want.   *sigh*   well, greg yim told me that some things just take time, n' moonhee pretty much says the same to me.   i'll think 'bout his advice.

2day, i was moving the last of my stuff out of my old office n' into my new cube (cubicle).   i asked my supervisor if he wanted my old desk lamp, which i don't think i'll use.   he didn't want it.   so i brought it to the back bay, which is like a big version of a home garage.     i put it ontop of a shelf that's lying on its side.   i walked away.   it felt like i was abandoning a puppy.   *sigh* sad.   but i can't necessarily clutter up my cubicle w/ things i don't use.   i gotta keep it clean.   so i walked away from the lamp, trying to tell myself, "i'm not throwing it away, i'm just leaving it to find a new owner."   hrm... do ppl do that to each other?   "i'm not throwing this friend away, i'm just leaving it to find a new owner."   "i'm not throwing this lover away, i'm just leaving it to find a new owner."   hrm...   maybe it's a li'l funny to think 'bout...   yah, what 'bout friendship?   usually, u don't break friendships, u just let them die out.   but occasionally u have a dramatic person who needs to "break" friendships.   i have a friend who told me she broke up w/ a friend.   i thought that sounded a li'l funny.   *sigh*   well, i'd like to appreciate my friends.   i'd like to.   well, later, wei, the imaging technician asked 4 a lamp.   she has the cubicle next to mine.   i'll give her my old desk lamp.

i'd like to go shop @ trader joe's sometime.   my sis cms to always buy lots'a trader joe's stuff.   n' so does my mom.   n' so does my dad.   why should i be the odd 1 in the family?   there'r many kewl things to buy @ trader joe's, many more gourmetish kinds of things, n' it's not very expensive.

yesterday was grace n' steve's 4 yr wedding anniversary.   happy anniversary grace n' steve!

well, taekwondo practice went ok last nite.   but my throat is pretty sore from yelling so much.   then some of us had a late dinner @ mandarin house.   just a few: erin, jerome, laura, her sister mimi, the beautiful kaela kang, n' me.   yup yup.   well, 2nite.. hopefully, we'll watch charlie's angels, n' i'll c nelson 4 the 1st time in 2 yrs.   i'll try to write more later.   or maybe i'll write a li'l more now, but i gotta get outta here... it's lunch break 4 me, n' i gotta get to long's drugs to pick up some prints... neway, yah... i've been really thinking 'bout the idea that ppl should just live n' let live.   i'm thinking 'bout how i'd often rather ppl just let me live my life the way i want to, do the things i want to do in life, n' just butt out... i mean, don't tell me to follow 1 path in life or the other... just let me make my own decisions.   i sound like a kid, huh?   *sigh* "nooooo, let me do it!"   but seriously... there's things i like to do in life, things i want to do in life.   can't i just live my life?   i don't haft'a please every1.   k, i gotta break outta here 4 lunch.   i'll try to write more later.

[later, 521p]   so yah, i'm adding more "later," which is now.   i'd like to thank dave kim 4 adding a quote to benoquote.   every1 should add a quote!   it's on my g.book page.   c, this is a place where u can 4ce ur opinions onto others n' say that u'r so wise, so every1 should do whatchu say.   that's surely not "live n' let live," but here it's excusable.   *sigh*   so where was i going w/ that topic?   i dunno, but it's now time 4 me to get outta here cos i wanna go watch x-men 'gain @ wheeler @ jerome, andy, n' laura, n' kaela.   then we'll maybe eat.   then we'll meet nelson n' his friend adam n' ne of nelson's siblings @ 1000 van ness 4 charlie's angels.   bizzy nite 'head, huh?   will roland join us?

so now i'm back in a office cubicle.   i spent the most of the day moving my stuff into my new cubicle.   i have a window now.   last nite, the beautiful kaela kang n' i carved a pumpkin.   yah, i know it's a li'l late; 'twas the day after halloween...   but 'twas very fun.   actually, lessee... 1st after werk, i met up w/ kaela @ her skool of public health day of the dead party.   we had quesadillas, cheese tamales, guacamole, agua fresca...   n' i met her friends cynthia n' margaret... but margaret right 'way looked very familiar to me.   i was sure she played clarinet w/ me in hs band.   i kept thinking, "nah, i prob'ly just always think i know every1..." so i didn't bother to ask.   but then on our way out, i quietly asked kaela.   then she thought it was perfectly fine 4 her to ask margaret if she was from san jo.   n' margaret sed yes, so i went 'right 'head n' asked, "didju go to leland?"   she was sorta shocked, so i knew 'twas a yes, so i sed, "u were in band, huh? i played clarinet w/ u!"   then she realised who i was... but back then, in band, ppl'd call me "bernie."   well nowadays, i don't want ne1 to call me "bernie."   'tis "beno," all in lower case, please.   *sigh*   neway, after we finished n' dropped cynthia off @ her apt., we carved the pumpkin.   'twas fun, n' we took pics of it.   it looks a li'l like scratchy from itchy n' scratchy.   we put a black candle in it, n' let it glow in the dark bathroom 4 a while.   we roasted the pumpkin seeds in the oven.   they were really good!   2nite, i'll lead werkout @ taekwondo.   it's time to plan 4 the weekend.   i think i like my move to the cubicle, even if it's a cubicle.   it's a nice cubicle, n' it's a refreshing change of pace.   i tried a new concept 2day, the 2 min e.mail.   i'm hoping if i limit myself to 2 mins an e.mail, i won't waste so much time writing e.mail.   u think it'll werk?   please add quotes to my benoquote list.   that's all located on my gbook page

yesterday, i got a fon call from my ol' friend nelson yee.   i hadn't heard from him in many ages.   he's been living in hk.   actually, other than that, i really don't know much more 'bout what he's been up to 4 the past 2 yrs.   he never really mentioned it, altho' we talked 4 'bout 30 mins yesterday afternoon.   he asked lotta questions 'bout me, n' i answered them, but i never got a chance to squeeze in a single question 'bout him.   n' we talked 'bout stocks n' 'puters 4 a while 2...   but still no mention of what he's been up to.   *sigh*   ken n' i talked 'bout this n' nelson b4, that we can never get out of him what he's up to, whilst we divulge all 'bout what we're up to...   hrm...   i mean, i'll assume the best, nelson...   'course, his brutha told us his version of what nelson's been up to in hk...   but well, i'd like to hear it from nelson's mouth.

so well, i'm sick, yah.   i felt really fluish yesterday.   @ werk, i was doing lots'a manual labour... u know what i've sed 'bout my werk b4: it's a small company, so every1's gotta pitch in w/ the li'l menial things 2.   so i was building my new cubicle n' rearranging the entrance door cos my new cubicle blocks the old entrance.   i had to move the cylinder door closer thing.   that was frustrating n' greasy.   @ 1 pt, i had to take a snickers break.   can u believe snickers bars used to be considered sports fud?!   like powerbars... weird.   well, i knew i was 'not going newhere 4 a while.'   it's so dark when i leave werk now that daylite savings time is over.   since taekwondo werkouts haven't been overly intense (physically) lately, i went to practice.   laura hurt her ankle 'gain.   nuts.   she gave us rice krispy treats n' candy.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i got take out from shk n' medicine from n.side safeway.   i'm teaching the taekwondo advanced class on thurs cos every1 else is out of town.   i've got things in mind.

2day is phil's b.day!   lemme tell u... *sigh*   phil is a genuinely nice guy.   i feel good talking to phil.   he's humble.   he genuinely wants to listen n' wants to help, n' also is capable of building true friendship thru sharing his own life w/ his friends.   yup.   phil, 1 of the 1st ppl i met @ cal.   happy b.day phil!   phil's 25 like me now.

just 4 kicks 2day, i checked out the old mud i used to play, eotl, or "the revenge of the end of the line."   it's still there.   boy, oh boy, how many times, when i was a freshman i typed "telnet mud.stanford.edu 2010," so many times!   *sigh*   they have a webpage: http://www.eotl.org.

so i'm sick... sore throat.   yuck.   *sigh*   last nite was a stay@home nite.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i cooked fud n' stuff.   we had a simple dinner: kaela's yummy oyster mushrooms, some sausages, kim chee, kim, n' rice.   'twas simple but i ate 'lot.   i felt like i ate 2 dinners cos i ate 1nce while kaela was taking a nap.   then i had a 2nd serving w/ her when she woke up.   then we made a trip to safeway... that's all.   maybe it sounds like a really boring evening to u, but oh well... i'm sick, what crazy n' wild stuff could i possibly do?   neway, we cooked last nite, but my roommate... geez!   well, i only have 1 roommate, n' most of u know who it is...   so he got all pissed off or something.   i mean he's already pissed off that kaela's computer's on the kitchen table which he never uses since he never cooks cos he always eats out or gets take out n' eats while sitting on the couch (which is mine as well as the kitchen table) n' watching tv instead...   so he's pissed off or something, n' this morning i find out he's taken away the toaster oven n' rice cooker.   tss...   whatever!   he can try all he wants w/ these material things to make my life less happy...   life isn't all 'bout material things!   i have happiness in other things.   maybe he's bitter that i have a relationship n' true love.   i dunno... i've noticed he gets bitter 'bout that kind of stuff from his actions in the past.   in ne case, he can take 'way all this material stuff, make me buy a rice cooker n' toaster oven... but whatever!   i'm just glad i'm not a mean spirited jerk!   he 1nce sed that when he came to america, his relatives took financially took advantage of his family, so he learned that he has to take advantage of ppl b4 they take advantage of him.   k, well... maybe that helps us understand where he's coming from, but still!!! it doesn't make it right!   geez... if u wanna be such a selfish jerk, then yah... well, ppl won't like u.   it's not that popularity is everything... it's just that... well, maybe there's something to be sed 'bout not being a jerk.

oh well!   i wish i didn't hafta talk 'bout such nasty things on my journal, but i guess nasty ppl do nasty things, n' it's sometimes part of our lives.   so i just talk 'bout my life here.   well, i'll try to find something nicer to talk 'bout...   yesterday, i had lunch @ the long life noodle co. in corte madera.   i didn't like my 1st long life noodle co. experience @ the berkeley location.   but i had a better experience this time.   i ordered the double happiness, which is egg noodle soup w/ bbq pork n' wontons.   the wontons were mushy, but the dish was better than i expected.   i just wanted something soupy 4 my sore throat.   it rained on my as i left the restaurant.   2day is halloween.

so oktober comes to an end.   weird, huh?   *sigh*   well, 'twas a filled weekend; no lazy sunday like last week.   fri nite, we ate @ venture frogs in amc van ness 1000 n' watched almost famous.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i had the same thought at the same time right after the movie: phil should watch this movie.   weird, i was thinking it, then she sed it.   we just figured he's more clued in w/ 70s rock than we r.   n' well, it's a pretty fun movie altho' we didn't totally relate to the 70s rock scene.   venture frogs was ok, but a li'l disappointing.   maybe we went on a bad nite.   who went?   andy, jerome, jeff, jocelyn, kaela, n' me.   sat: i did laundry, n' we had demo team practice.   that nite, laura, brandie, kaela, n' i went clubbing @ s.factory.   'twas pretty fun.   it was better than i had expected.   like, i 'member sat nite's @ s.factory as being pretty lame, but... well, 'twasn't as good as a k2 fri, but 'twas better than when sat nites were produkt.   sam sa was tending bar.   we ate @ nation's in el cerrito afterwards.   mmm.. i hadn't had a nation's 2 egger w/ burger patty in ages.   that's what i like there.   yum, yum.   sun, we woke up early 'nuff to go out n' get dim sum: andy, jerome, joon, erin, kaela, n' i.   'twas laura's idea, but she wasn't there.   then we went shopping @ pusan plaza.   then kaela n' i went to costco.   i started getting a sore throat.   now i'm sick.   well, this journal entry was just a listing of what i did.   sorry.

this journal entry will involve lots'a talk 'bout tech stuff, i guess.   well, 1st off.   wow, roland...   wow!   kewl...   u know what roland did?   u know what he did 4 me?   he registered benomix.com 4 me!   so now, to access my page, u can just use http://www.benomix.com!!!!   wow!   roland's such a thoughtful guy, i gotta say.   thanks, roland!   he set up the reflect 4 the domain name, n' he also set up a reflect 4 my new e.mail, beno@benomix.com.   wow!   kewl!   *sigh*   i dunno how to thank u 'nuff!

so yesterday wuz a typical thurs.   i came home from werk.   we went to taekwondo practice.   then we left early right @ 1000p.   the beautiful kaela kang needed to get some things done, so we went straight home.   i cooked us some semi.cheesy chicken pasta stuff... some bagged frozen thing that u stir fry.   again, i felt so housewifeish.   it's sort'a like this hamburger helper type thing, but it's frozen, n' the chicken's included.   2day, my company had a lunch party.   'twas fun, n' we had good fud from il fornaio.   i have some leftovers here @ my desk.

i really gotta get my 'puter all straightened out.   i really do.   i need to buy a large hard drive.   i think i'll stick to scsi...   but i need a new scsi card, a better 1.   i think i need to get a adaptec 19160... but i don't cm to be able to find many places that sell that.   some places have the 29160, but i need the 50 pin ultra scsi / scsi-1 external connector 4 kaela's scanner.   hrm... so the 29160n is ok 2, but the other adaptec 160 family scsi controllers won't do.   boy, oh boy, oh boy.   n' i wanna get a 2nd scsi cdrom drive.   hrm...   what to do? all this stuff, i gott get, install... n' then i gotta do more software / app installing... *sigh* i never have time to do this kind'a stuff.   *sigh*   if only i had my home 'puter w/ me @ werk n' could werk on it @ werk.   *sigh* man, n' scsi stuff's such a rip off...   n' shouldn't i upgrade my cpu n' stuff?   *sigh*   what to do?

well, it's weekend.   i'm sitting here in my office 4 no good reason 'cept to finish this journal entry.   i'm gonna lose this office n' move to a cubicle next week.   sucks, huh?   oh well.   it's halloween weekend!   we'll have demo team practice on sat.   i think some of us r going to venturefrogs 2nite.   i hope so.   kaela n' i have never been there, but we always c it.   i still haven't written my dine.com review of xanadu...   but i will.   i'm listening to nova sonic's slam (video killed the radio star) on mp3.   interesting.   yah, it's nice to hear korean musik that isn't so industry pop-ish, something more, uh, i dunno... alternatrashish.   i guess it's sorta punk, or something.   i think i'll get this album from angelpop/angelcd soon.   ha... i'm mentioning all my "sponsors."   ha...   well, it's not like i really get much money from them, but... eh!   if my site ever generates tons of traffic every day, then maybe i'll make a buck or 2.   i get a shiny quarter 4 each person who signs up 4 dine.com using my link, n' "beno@ocf.berkeley.edu" as the referrer.   ha.   1 quarter = 20 mins of parking!   parking, precious parking.   yah, i like this nova sonic stuff.   oh, roland, i added ur quote to the benoquotes on my gbook intro page!   i hope u don't mind.

the rain continued 2day.   supposedly, it won't rain on sat, but it'll rain 4 every other day 4 a while.   well, that's what y! weather sed yesterday, i think.   oh, ok, well, now it sez that it'll be sunny 2morrow, but o'er the weekend it'll rain.   then it'll be sunny 'gain on mon.   sun... partly cloudy, whatever.   yah, it actually sez "partly cloudy," not sunny 4 fri n' mon.   neway!   u can look up y! weather on ur own time.   right now u'r listening to me n' all the nonsense i wanna say!   u bet!   *nod* *nod* *nod*   well, it's still raining 2day, blue rain.   but last nite i took the beautiful kaela kang to the pumpkin patch n' bought 2 small pumpkins.   the guy there charged us $3 n' $2 4 a total of $5.   i dunno where he got those prices from, but eh! $5 was a fair price 4 some halloween cheer, i figured.   nething 4 my special kaela!   *smile*   neway, we bought pumpkins, stopped by walgreen's 4 kaela to get sudafed, n' we went to eat @ katana ya.   'twas a good warm dinner.   that's a good restaurant, a bit underrated, i think.   but it has a loyal customer base.

so lately, i wonder if i'm losing old friends.   hrm...   am i?   is there just not enuf time in this world now 4 old friends to stay friends n' do friend stuff?   i dunno.   maybe i've pissed off 'bunch'a my ol' friends recently.   i care more 'bout some than others, maybe.   some i've lost touch w/, some i cm to have gotten impatient w/ lately, some r just 2 bizzy, some i cm just 2 bizzy 4.   i dunno.   what's going on?   has the world just become a less friendly place.   that might be it.   n' i could be a tuff guy n' just act like i don't care.   in some cases maybe that's the best thing to do.   now maybe certain ppl reading this think i'm talking 'bout them, huh?   i dunno.   or maybe none of the ppl i'm talking 'bout read this.   i dunno.   maybe it's a time in my life where i'll lose some old friends n' gain some new friends.   is there a time 4 that?   why have friends?   is it just so we can borrow stuff?   no, it's fun to do stuff w/ other ppl.   hrm...   but u could get all existential n' say it's all fake... that there's no functionality in certain friendships, this n' that...   that's pretty existential, isn't it?   i dunno.   hrm...   maybe it's easier to make new friends than maintain old friendships... uh... yah, i guess that goes w/o saying 4 many ppl... like, ppl who rn't truly nice ppl, right?   ppl who r just nice when u meet them, but when u hang w/ them long 'nuff u realise, "man, this person's a mean person.   i don't like him."   yah, there r ppl like that, i guess.   but i was just thinking... if i can't find all my old friends, is it all that big of a deal?   well, i dunno... yah, in some cases it is.   blabber, blabber, blabber.

so that last paragraph went no where.   i just sorta thought out loud 4 a while.   neway, there's other stuff i was gonna say... oh yah!   u know, sometimes i think i'll never be as fit as i was a yr 'go when i was on competition team.   hrm... u think?   well, i won't surrender to just getting completely out.of.shape of course.   i didn't get a whole lott'a sleep back then tho'; i get more sleep now.   yah, think 'bout how my life has changed in the past yr...   n' i still owe phil an e.mail, right?   well, the weekend is coming up.   who wants to hang w/ beno?   aw, c'mon!   i'm a hip, happenin' dude... *sigh*

last nite, taekwondo practice.   that's 'bout it.   2day i found out that the imaging / operations dept of my company is moving to corte madera.   that means altho' i'm moving depts, i'm staying in the same location.   phew!   this is great!   i don't hafta deal w/ the sf commute!   i'm very happy, yes.   as soon as i bust outta here, i'm gonna take the beautiful kaela kang to a pumpkin patch n' get her a halloween pumpkin.   oh, i added some stuff to my g.book, didju c?   yah, now u can add something to the benoquote collection.   don't i owe phil an e.mail?   phil's a quotable guy.   i bought my southwest ticket to go to kaela's folks' place new yr's week.

boy, oh boy...   i've got a sore in the middle of my upper back.   it's been there 4 'bout the past week.   a massage'd be nice, yes.   windy weather; i've got dry skin.   so how's life, y'all?   yesterday, i left werk, i drove home.   i saw chals walking up dwight, so i gave him a short ride up to telly.   then i went home.   i cooked dinner 4 the beautiful kaela kang.   i felt very domestic.   i made a housewife's meal: portabello mushroom tortellini w/ classico portabello mushroom marinara sauce n' some stirfried "asian" veggies (from a frozen bag) w/ some italian seasoning.   no, i didn't handmake the tortellini; 'twas from a safeway select package.   so i felt very house uh... wifeish...   we ate dinner on the floor of my room on the babsang that she bought @ kim's kajang or whatever it's called down in l.a. k.town.   the strangest thing happened after we ate; we both passed out, asleep.   'twas as if i had put tranquilizers in the fud!   'twas weird...   neway, i woke kaela up cos she had to do hw.   i figured if i played loud musik, she'd stay 'wake.   i 1st put in cleo 3.   after that album, my sony 5 disc changer refused to play nemore korean cds.   i tried.   then i cleaned the lens n' tried a few more time.   nope!   so i tried some english cds.   we listened to the ol' warren g album...   ah, those were the days... *sigh* listening to those tracks made me feel like a young lad 'gain...   i 'member those days of west coast gangsta rap... *sigh*   then after warren g, i put in tlc's fanmail since i hadn't heard it in a long time.   we watched simpsons.

i hope toby's doing ok fixing up his 'puter...   he was talking to me 2 nites 'go 'bout it, b4 we left to safeway.   he was pretty frustrated.   uhm... u know... so i guess i'm accepting a promotion @ my job.   hrm... i usually don't talk 'bout these professional career issues here, uh... i guess cos employers / potential employers can read this webpage n' stuff like that.   but i guess i'm taking a position @ my company where i'll be more tied in w/ engineering support 4 operations.   this means, i'll be werking in sf most of the time, starting from a coupl'a weeks from now till my company finishes moving to corte madera, which could be next spring.   wow... i can't believe that i'll be battling sf traffic 'gain.   but 'course sf has its big city charm... sometimes i gotta admit i'd rather be stuck in traffic in sf than all sorts'a other places.   i sit in my freeway lane, n' i marvel @ all the hi rises n' the beautiful bay etc.   *sigh* heh, gotta put it in a positive light somehow, right?   well, i just worry tho'...   that this commute time'll cut into my personal time.   i wonder if i'll have time to write journal entries every day...   *sigh*   neway, i'm 25... maybe it's fine.   it's good to take care of my career life.   i don't wanna feel lost, after all.   it's good to have direction; n' it's good to make progress.

yah, i'm 25.   what's w/ me?   sometimes i'm all off spewing this garbage 'bout how i'm so in.between generations... ha ha.   why?   give it a rest, why don't i?   howzabout if i stop going 'round grumbling 'bout how kids these days have it so much easier n' how i'm not really part of gen.x, n' just live life?   howzabout it?   just take care of things.   "the simple life," i always ponder.   last nite i read the subaru drive magazine, n' it had a feature 'bout some author who writes 'bout "simple living."   she sed she n' her husband packed up from the west coast, moved out to the east coast, n' now live on her parents' apple farm.   but already, her profession was freelance writer... n' now what is it? it's still freelance writer.   so what difference does it make?   hrm... maybe she was a columnist b4 or something... n' her husband was a writer of some sort 2... but now they pick apples... the cider house rules... n' they write n' make tons of money preaching "simple living," right?   she had some advice: 1) live in the present, 2) sacrifice career n' money 4 time w/ family n' friends, 3) spend time w/ nature, 4) drive a subaru.   oh, n' i think she sed something 'bout budgeting ur money... 5) think hard 'bout ur purchases, consult friends, c what u can swap instead of buying.   that's true.   if we could all be a big group of friends, we'd be netwerked, n' we could share goods, instead of needing to buy 1 of each thing 4 each person...   back in hs amongst our asian clique / church group / youth group / this.that, i felt it was almost possible.   it's a perfect commune.like idea, right?   yah, i think it's beautiful, the idea of friends taking care of friends.   borrow my cd, copy it, return it.   i borrow ur cd, copy it return it.   we don't all need colour printers, i can borrow urs.   we don't all need scanners, u can barrow ... kaela's!   but ask her 1st.   u get it, tho?   imagine if we could all get 'long like that.   *sigh*   "imagine all the ppl..."   can u believe yoko ono was on that mad about you episode?   'twas a rerun i saw last week or so...   but imagine if we could live in that proposed environment... we could all live in a big house n' take turns cooking...   supermike had that dream 4 the cal taekwondo p.crew.   that's a co.op, i guess.   *sigh*   but it doesn't werk...   how would we have found a big house in berkeley?

neway, "simple living."   i stopped taking naps b4 practice lately.   i've been getting plenty of sleep these past few days.   i haven't been to 168 or koko house in ages!   in fact, i haven't been to the durant fud ghetto or daruma in a while either.   i guess it's either some fancy restaurant or else home cookin'.   i gotta do laundry soon.   i try to keep the apt cleaner n' reduce clutter.   man, oh man... apt biz, lemme tell u... *sigh*   hrm... let's think 'bout the simple life, shall we?

let's ponder a short excerpt from my e.mail to sandy: "i've been sleeping more lately.   my office provides soda, chips, n' candy.   that's bad. why can't they provide good.4.me fud?   crazy...   i can't wait to go snowboarding.   i think autumn is getting to me n' kaela, in that it's making us sleepy.   i 'member how autumn'd make me sleepy back when i was in skool.   i'd come home n' fall asleep instead of doing hw."   yah, my office provides soda (diet or regular), chips, n' candy...   yah, why don't they give us bagels n' fruit every morning instead...   oh well...   yah, i wanna get to know socal geography better cos most of my socal friends only know so much of it; but it's understandable.   if i hadn't gone to college in the bay area, i'd only know san jo n' vicinity; but since i went to cal, i had time to explore, n' now i much better know my way 'round the whole bay area.   n' i like knowing my way 'round tahoe/reno.   i'm gonna take new yr's week off n' go down south to kaela's home.   then i'm gonna take mlk, jr. day off to spend that weekend snowboarding in tahoe.   those r my plans.   i am what i am.

does ne1 remember a mod group called 7 red 7 that had a "hit" single "thinking of you"?   'member the chorus? "you let me... you let me down... but i'm still thinking of you."   ah, i found a website that has.. upes, no! dead link... *sigh*   i'd like to find the mp3...   i had the cassette single, but i dunno if i still have it, or if my mom threw it away.   *sigh*   this was a "mod" song.   by 2day's standards, u might call it "freestyle," i dunno.   it's that "mod" stuff... the stuff that sounded like depeche mode wannabes... like camouflage, red flag, n' cause & effect.   there's that lim changjuhng song "kippeun oori" that's in that style, altho' it's pretty recent.

so how was ur weekend?   i hope u'r not sick.   the beautiful kaela kang is a li'l sick.   i know moonhee's sick.   well, all sick ppl, i hope u get better.   'twas a sunny but violently windy weekend in the bay area.   my weekend?   oh, u'r interested?   well, fri was kaela n' beno's 9th monthversary as i sed.   so i took kaela to xanadu.   perry likes xanadu, n' i read numerous positive reviews 'bout it.   i'll prob'ly post a dine.com review soon.   it's a truly pan.asian restaurant... not so much a fusion restaurant, i s'pposed, but they call it "restorasian cuisine."   in my opinon, this is asian fusion cuisine, n' what most ppl call asian fusion cuisine is... hrm... more on the american/european side of asian fuision... but eh! maybe all i've done is shift the spectrum over a li'l.   i really enjoyed eos, when we went, n' it's asian fusion, but xanadu is more on the asian side of the spectrum that eos.   altho' it looks pretty humble from its old train station exterior, it's very beautiful on the inside w/ dim lighting.   u know what i romanticise?   u know all those end of the chinese empire movies that came out like 10 yrs 'go?   like the last emperor...   i liked that east.west mix of culture that u saw in those movies, altho' i'm sure it wasn't all that good.   i mean, u saw the royalty n' upper class party, n' it sure looks like fun, but i'm sure it was an awful time, 'specially if u weren't 1 of them.   neway, from those movies, tho', i sometimes romanticise a setting, n' the decor of xanadu reminds me of that romanticised setting.   we had great fud.   ha, all reviews say the service @ xanadu is very inexperienced, n' u know... they r very right!   eh, i'm not a snob tho'.   what am i s'pposed to say? "u fool! don'tchu know how to pick a wine 4 me! away w/ u!"   yah, right!   i'd rather have an unknowledgeable waiter than a snooty waiter neday!   it's very understandable to me how ne waiter could be not so experienced @ xanadu...   the cuisine is so eccletic... only the chef himself could explain it to u.   even if u were asian; our waiter happened to be african.american; but even an asian sever'd have a hard time explaining the dishes, even w/ his/her cultural background... xanadu's cuisine includes dishes w/ influence from all corners of asia! china, india, korea, thailand...   if u were that knowledgeable 'bout all different asian fuds, u might not wanna werk as a waiter... u'd prob'ly be off writing restaurant reviews 4 dine.com.   ha ha ha.   it was a great dinner!   i wanted to linger.   i ate 2 fast, we ate 2 fast.   we were starving when we got there, n' we ate 2 fast.   i wished they had brought out the meal 1 dish per course.   that'd've been better.   after we took a few snapshots @ the restaurant, we left, driving off a li'l aimlessly.   eh, i didn't want to call it a nite just yet.   movie?   no, we were maybe not up 4 that, so we went to reel video n' got the 1st 2 tapes of the ranma 1/2 series.   kaela had never cn it b4.

sat was a productive day, as i sed.   we woke up, went to the snow/skate expo @ the san mateo expo center.   kewl stuff!   we each got 2 free tix to sierra n' northstar... then we found out later that they're only good mon - fri... whah?!   neway, who was there? dave yee, jocelyn, roland, the beautiful kaela kang, n' me.   we got lots'a freebies, adverts, n' technical documentation from manufacturers.   roland bought a complete snowboard.   kaela n' i bought adidas goggles.   we needed nicer goggles.   i bought a cheap snowboard bag, which is more of a cover, n' a snowboard backpack.   they were pretty cheap n' from some vendor/manufacturer called piper bags or something... they had some waterburdy as their logo.   i guess it's some sort of sandpiper, right?   neway, we left the expo, n' we luncheoned in burlingame @ isobune; yummy sushi.   we had just driven down el camino real, n' we spotted it.   kaela treated me to lunch.   then we picked up her kia from the service center; then we hurried back 4 demo practice.   that nite we went out to jack london to watch pay it forward w/ dave, andy, joc, jeff, roland, laura, n' jerome.   we got j.box on the way, n' i had my 1st ultimate ch.burger.   i'd better not make it a habit, altho' it was very tasty.   pay it forward was a pretty good movie, altho' it did have some major loose threads.   after the movie, we went back to jerome n' andy's.   i played tony hawk's proskater on andy's playstation 4 a while.

sun was 1 of the laziest days of my life!   i didn't even leave the apartment till kaela n' i went to safeway @ 'bout midnite.   whoa, what a lazy day!   *sigh*   crazy.   just so u know, i'm pretty pissed off @ my roommate 4 being a total jerk 'bout the fact that kaela has her computer on the kitchen table which i own, n' which we never use otherwise.   what's the big deal?   it's not like he doesn't spend hours after hours on the couch which i own in the living watching tv, so that if i wanted to do something else in the living room, i couldn't... not even on my own couch.   phuc that!   what a jerk...   he sez it's 'bout "space."   well, phuc that, there's tons of wasted space in our apt...   what 'bout all his books that he put on my bookshelf in the living room?   i debated w/ myself whether to talk 'bout this on my public journal, but whatever... i'm pretty pissed.   he ought to be nicer, if he doesn't want this $#!+ to happen.   oh well!

neway, who wants to end a journal entry on such a rotten note?   let's go on to talk 'bout other stuff.   this upcoming weekend is halloween weekend, 4 what it's worth.   yes, i told kaela we'd get a pumpkin, n' we will.   halloween is such a fun time of yr when u'r a kid.   i've already toldju the story of how my dad built me that big pac man costume 1 yr, right?   i'm sure i did.   n' how i fell down some steps n' kept rolling cos the costume was so round...   yes, i did!   please refer to 12 june, 2000 "characteristic polynomial."   well, speaking of family, i had a dream 'bout my grandma calling me this morning, my grandma on my dad's side.   i hope she's ok.   it was just so random to dream 'bout her.   kaela dreams 'bout her grandmutha', but i usually don't.   *sigh* it'll be christmas gift shopping time b4 i know it.   i 'member how liane, last yr, finished her christmas shopping a long time b4 christmas.   i wish i could be like that.   there's been times that i did most of my christmas shopping on christmas eve.   well, well, well...   am i not still looking 4 that "simple life"?   *sigh*   or am i?   what do i want?   "the simple life" or to feel "young n' alive"?   they rn't necessarily the same thing, but do they haft'a be opposites?   i'm not sure.

9 months of kaela n' beno.

last nite, the beautiful kaela kang's sister jeanna came over to pick up her keyboard that i picked up from their brutha jay down in irvine; n' she stayed to watch 1 episode of simpsons w/ us.   not much happened last nite, but i got to nap.   that's good.   not much has happened... so why am i posting an entry?   i dunno.   this morning, i had a li'l trouble getting to werk cos i accidentally parked in a construction zone.   kaela's had her car in my space cos we're taking it to the service center this evening.   i parked on the street.   well, 'least i didn't get towed n' didn't get a ticket, but i had to wait 4 the right roofing werker to come down from the neighbouring apt bldg to move the truck that was blocking my car.   that took a while...   well, hrm... 2nite after i bust outta here, i'll go to san leandro to pick up kaela from the service center, then i'll go to practice.   i'm glad kaela's feeling better now.   hrm... well, i don't have much to say right now...   this sat morn, kaela n' i'll go to the snowboard/skate expo in san mateo to pick up our free lift tix.   we'll have taekwondo demo team practice on sat afternoon.   2morrow nite, i'll take kaela out 4 our 9th monthversary.   i was supposedly giving kaela's anonymous friend advice 'bout guys.   she asked if all guy's have wandering eyes...   *sigh*   i don't think so... but some guys do... n' well "other" gurls do exist in this world... n' well, if i didn't know what other gurls look like, how could i have standards or ne basis to say kaela's so beautiful?   just cos i c other gurls doesn't mean @ all that i check them out.   there's a difference.   but also 'member when chals sed that, when he knows a gurl's just walked into the room, a guy's instinct is to look.   hrm... but that doesn't necessarily mean "check out," right?   whatchu think?   i had lots to say in my letter to kaela's anonymous friend, but i don't have much to say in this journal entry, no.   2morrow's fri!   phew, i'm very glad.   somehow it's been a really long week...   can't wait.

*sigh* so i skipped a day now, huh?   shoot...   i got 2 caught up w/ stuff, so i didn't post yesterday.   yesterday, was my dad's b.day.   happy b.day, dad!   well, yesterday... i went to safeway 3 times!   can u believe that?   the beautiful kaela kang was sick yesterday...   i went to safeway to get her cranberry juice n' canned soup on my way home from werk.   i had already gone 1nce to safeway during my lunchbreak to buy some lunchfud.   i went to taekwondo practice, but kaela stayed home cos she's sick n' she has a take home final due 2day.   i ordered us some takeout from shk (sun hong kong), n' i went to safeway 'gain while i waited 4 the fud to be done.

early this morning, i took kaela to the hospital.   (i didn't get much sleep last nite.   nuts.)   i hope she's better now.   in case u ever need to know, the 51st n' telly walgreens has a 24 hr pharmacy.   well, what's up?   argh!   i just had to deal w/ reddy realty.   ugh!   they gave me this late notice 'bout our rent, but i did pay the rent!   i called them... the biz is sorted out, but they say that we pay our rent late every month...   well, actually, me n' josh pay separately...   man, i don't wanna deal w/ reddy realty n' their biz... *sigh*   sure, i wish i owned a nice, big mansion in the middle of the berkeley campus area.   sure, that'd be great.   n' all my friends could come n' live w/ me.   yes, that'd be kewl.   oh well... i'm just 'nother alumnus who's clogging up the berkeley rental housing market.   what if i were to go back to grad skool?   *sigh* what if...   but *sigh* yah, here's beno in the middle of berkeley, going off 'bout how kids these days r so spoiled, n' he's off stealing their housing!   hrm... ok, that sounds cynical n' bitter...   ha ha... n' what 4?   i dunno... but i know i didn't get much sleep last nite.   i eat vitamins 4 energy.   i hope i get to either nap or sleep early 2nite.

while sitting in the waiting room i saw the morning news: gore n' bush debated, there was a big fire in sf this morning, there's a new doggy cologne called "oh my dog!", the yankees'll play the mets in the subway series, the uss cole sailors come home 4 a memorial...   i saw the same headlines go 'round n' 'round on ch. 2, w/ sal castaneda doing the traffic.   of course i'm gonna vote 4 gore n' not bush!   so i sat there in the alta bates waiting room.   yes, the 1st time i had ever been there was w/ kaela back in the april of 1999... she was mentioning it 2 days 'go cos it was part of the lost entries! weird, huh? 28 april, 1999 "learning to fall."

oh, that's right!   mon nite!   i took kaela out to dinner @ lalime's cafe on gilman!   ha ha.   i haven't talked 'bout that yet, huh?   she had gotten such a good grade on her spanish midterm, n' she just finished her biostat midterm, so i wanted to take her out to dinner.   i heard 'bout lalime's, n' it sounded like a classy place.   it is.   we had sweetbreads, salad, fish entrées, pumpkin bread pudding... kaela had green tea... she also had a muscat, n' i had a non.alkoholic beer.   i never get to have non.alkoholic beer cos no 1 ever wants to buy it, but i got to have it that nite!   sweetbreads... pancreas.   i thought 'twas brains, n' kaela that 'twas liver.   well, we bit into it, n' we knew 'twasn't liver, so we thought 'twas brains.   i found out tues morn, via net research, that 'tis pancreas.   it was a delicious dinner.   all the reviews, dine.com n' otherwise, sed that the service is phenomenally unpretentious there.   yah, it's not 2 bad.   u should check out my dine.com review of lalime's... when the post it up.

so kaela was discussing an issue yesterday evening, n' it's true...   k, this is sort'a a future, down the line kind'a thing... but we were talkin' 'bout well, like naming kids... cos u c... well, the whole asian name thing...   k, if we, me n' kaela, have kids, then we'll haft'a give them names... i guess... i mean, eventually u gotta, right?   but then... she brought up the pt... what we would name our kids... as far as asian (korean/chinese) names would depend on what grace n' steve do 4 their kids... cos the kids of the generation would have similar names... like share the 1st name/character...   she sed it's complicated, but i don't think it's complicated.   it's very easy.   n' to make it all even easier, i have that hagul/hanja chart from korea w/ all the characters n' what they mean... well, not all the characters, but many.   so yah... that was just something we discussed.   i can't wait to go snowboarding... but @ this moment, i also want to sleep.

i just discovered 2day that, somehow, a chunk of my beno journal was missing...   it's weird...   how did it all start?   i was doing my routine check of café chulho to c if chals has given up his li'l strike or whatever u wanna call this hiatus... the banner ad asked me to submit a poem n' win cas$h.   well, i'm no poet, but it sounded easy 'nuff to cut n' paste the poem i knew i had written in the beno journal some time 'go... the poem called "free not to choose today."   so i cruised to the beno journal n' tried to find it to cut n' paste it... but 'twas missing!   whuh?   i searched n' searched...   i couldn't figure it out...   i distinctly remembered its existence cos i 'member when my dad printed out my whole journal n' sent it to my mom, n' i found it on her office desk.   when i found that hardcopy, that particular journal entry was either the most recent or almost the most recent...   i believe 'twas the most recent @ the time, yes.   neway...   so what had happened?   i was confused.   i didn't notice ne gap or nething...   but i searched n' searched...   then i decided to check my backup copies.   ah!   apparently, the poem was located in my 08 april, 1999 entry "truly tasteless.".   apparently, everything in between that entry n' 05 april 1999's "blue rain" was missing...   well, actually... after carefully inspecting the problem, the missing chunk started on somewhere in 28 april, 1999's "learning to fall" n' went until the middle of "truly tasteless.".   so there was a spliced paragraph...   *sigh* weird... u know?   neway, i fixed the prob... n' then i saved the file... or rather, i thought i saved the file...   i reloaded the frame, but the lost entries still didn't show up.   oh, upes! i didn't confirm my save... but then apparently ocf crashed!   whoa!   'twas like some supernatural 4ce didn't want those journal entries to be published!   weird!   i was a li'l spooked by all that...   n' i had to pee really badly 2!   neway, i 'ventually went pee in the proper place 4 peeing, then i came back n' really fixed the problem.   so now, those entries ("learning to fall," "our beloved milhouse," "saving private beno," n' "truly tasteless") have been recovered.   now... do u care?   that's 'nother question...

yesterday, i was reading that stoopid usa weekend magazine inside the sf chronicle.   lisa ling wrote some article 'bout gen.x being apathetic to politics.   didju know she's only 27?   honestly, i thought she was much older, well into her 30s.   uhm, i don't mean to say that to rip on her.   i wasn't really amongst those who were all riled up 'bout her being in those old navy commercials that omitted asian men, altho' it cmed to think it had such racial diversity.   i knew 'bout that issue, n' i saw the commercial... but i already hate old navy ads, so why should that 1 be ne better?   in fact, if u wanna talk 'bout race n' old navy ads, then what 'bout that "i dream of jeanie" ad that has that middle eastern theme, but u don't notice ne actual middle eastern actors in it.   c, that's pretty messed up 2... so old navy ads just plain suck neway!   neway... i didn't like lisa ling's article.   i thought it was pretty stoopid.   it sed that gen.x, which she defines as americans age 18-34, r disillusioned 'bout politicians altho' they don't mind taking social re4m in their own hands.   yah, that's actually somewhat true, 'specially in berkeley, right?   but u also know i'm very 'gainst the definition of gen.x as all americans age 18-34.   "no can do!" w/ beno.   gen.x is ppl born in the mid 60s thru early 70s... or something like that... add "circa" b4 those numbers... n' gen y is those born in the 80s... so in my benocentric world, i'm defining those born in the mid 70s as that in.between generation that i keep talking 'bout here n' there!   u know... in general, u sure hear the term "gen x" much less these days, huh?   u just have "gen x" cops, n' that's 'bout it.

this morn, there was a 6 car pile up on the san rafael bridge, n' 1 car almost went over the side!

phil'll like this journal entry, n' joon 2.   graden grove!   'member when fahad used to sing that song: "maybe, i don't really wanna know, ur garden groves..."   is that blur or radiohead?   since it cms that fahad was more of a blur fan, i'm guessing 'twas blur, but was it?   i 4get.   isn't it blur's "end of a century?"   n' r those the correct wurds, or did i just make them up?   neway...   so 3 of us went down garden grove to watch that li'l taekwondo tournament.   it was a fun experience, n' 'twas fun to be in socal.   we got into socal late on fri nite.   we ate dinner @ norm's in anaheim.   the beautiful kaela kang sez her dad likes that place, but she thinks it's cheesy.   hrm...   it's kind'a like, i dunno, bob's big boy's or something, but w/ a cheerier atmosphere.   we all had steaks.   my ny steak was pretty good, n' they give pretty big portions.   but johnny sed they used to give more.   they give u both soup n' salad; most restaurants'd make u choose 1 of the 2.   well, we got lost pretty often on the way, but we finally got to our ramada inn in garden grove.   'twas a decent place.   we watched some really dumb b movie on hbo 'bout some mummies.   it was really confusing, n' the plot kept changing.   then we went to sleep.

in the morning, we went to the li'l taekwondojang on the other side of garden grove.   we watched the tournament till lunchtime.   then we broke 4 lunch.   i drove us back out to the korean side of garden grove, n' we ate @ bookkyuhng chinese restaurant.   raymond n' i had jjajangmyuhn, n' i ordered jjambbong 4 johnny.   it was the same woman hostess there as when i went w/ kaela.   *sigh*   it's so much fun to be in socal where fud is so much cheaper!!!!   then we went back to watch the rest of the tournament.   it ended much earlier than we expected, but i had to meet kaela's bro jay @ uc irvine 'round 700p.   so we went to von's, bought 25¢ safeway select sodas, went to chevron to fill up, then drove off to irvine.   we wandered 'round irvine 4 a while.   i recognised my surroundings from the times i was in irvine w/ phil or other times.   i wanted to c bunnies, but no bunnies.   i saw phil's high sckool 'gain tho'...   uni high trojans.   *sigh*   well, i know several ppl from uni, right? 4 example, phil, harry, eileen, heather...   wow, irvine...   lemme tell u... it's a very planned city.   it's very convenient tho'.   well, we figured we could watch a matinée movie to kill time.   i figured we should watch a horror movie since kaela wasn't there, n' via fon, kaela suggested the exact same thing.   so we went to edwards park place 2 n' watched lost souls.   'member when winona ryder was the gen x postergurl that all the alternachic boys thought 'bout?   i mean, like in the days of reality bites etc.   i just read some dumb columnist talk 'bout how she's so reduced to nothing now that she didn't get an oscar 4 girl interrupted, got dumped by matt damon, n' autumn in ny was so dumb.   (why would i wanna watch old richard gere play w/ li'l gurls?!)   well, lost souls was ok but not all that great.   that's 2 bad.   i mean, there's already been so many apocalypse/antichrist movies...   i mean, there's lots'a insensitive takes on it like end of days where u have no sympathy 4 the devil's son; but there's already been a good movie where u sympathise 4 the man who's gonna turn into the anti.christ... that's the devil's advocated w/ keanu.   i thought that was a pretty fine movie altho' it got cheesy 2wards the end.   al pacino's a great actor, huh?   al pacino, robert deniro... those guys...   i liked heat.   robert deniro'll be in a movie w/ cuba gooding, jr., n' i always thought cuba was a good actor 2.   neway... we watched the movie in that crappy theatre w/ no arcade n' so.so seats.   we went to uc irvine, met up w/ jay, got the goods, n' started driving up.   we stopped in burbank to eat @ kenny rogers roasters.   wow, i got to have such a culinary tour of socal this weekend!   well, kenny rogers roasters's like what i imagined boston market to be like.   well, i've been to boston market 1nce, a long time 'go, but i only had a chicken salad, n' i don't think that's their specialty.   i wonder what koo koo roo is like.   i haven't been to el pollo loco in ages.   well, johnny drove from there, then raymond took a shift till we got back up here.   wow, what a trip.

sun...   i woke up late, but we got back late.   kaela, that hot chick, took me to dim sum @ uh... that place by richmond 99... i 4get it's name...   but it was good.   it's a really nice looking restaurant.   i bought us some buns from sheng kee n' a li'l bit of groceries from 99.   we stopped by long's drugs, n' i bought a sunday paper.   since then i've been home.   it's been a lazy sun!!!

that was a cure song title.   neway, i haven't paid much attention to this kind of superstition in a long time.   it doesn't bother me.   2day, i'm going down to garden grove w/ raymond lee n' johnny tien.   we'll watch the hanmadang taekwondo demonstration competition 2morrow, then drive right back up.   i just wanna make this a quick in n' out.   then i'll be w/ the beautiful kaela kang 'gain.   yay!   well, hey... there's this "abercrombielee" who kindly pted out on my g.book/g.spot that boys ii men does have a new album out.   whaddya know!   thanks.   so last nite, i passed out copies of benomix3.   @ 1st, i was thinking, "well, does ne1 really want this cd?   does ne1 care?"   but then i realised, "whatever.   i just wanna pass it out to my friends.   it's something i've werked hard on, n' i wanna share it w/ my friends."   so i gave out copies.   n' all the sudden i barely had ne left.   i gotta make more.   yah, there's ppl i really do owe copies to.   so i should get copies out to them.   if u want a copy of benomix3, please let me know.   u can sign my g.book/g.spot. or e.mail me.   also, perry n' joon... u got martial arts equipment u gotta pick up from me.   well, i'll be off to socal in a li'l over a coupl'a hours, i guess.   i still gotta make the hotel reservation.   i gotta meet up w/ jay, kaela's bro, 2morrow nite to pick up something to bring up 4 jeanna.   well... i hope we have a safe trip.   i'll be missing kaela.

[later] i still haven't left yet, ~218p.   i took kaela to lunch @ viceroy.   we traded fons so that i can roam 4 free.   ok, now i'm really gonna go.   cu.

so i've been on a roll w/ this entry.a.day thing 4 a while, huh?   well, i almost didn't log an entry 2day.   i'll give u what i can give 4 an entry 2day.   last nite, i stayed @ werk pretty late.   then i came home, brought home a leftover sandwich lunchbox from a company mtg 4 dinner.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i did laundry 2gether @ my place.   some1 else was doing laundry, n' the laundry room was bizzy.   i mean, we didn't c ne1 else, but we saw laundry taken out of the machine, dumped on the washer, dumped on the dryer.   we could tell it was 'nother couple cos there was guy's stuff n' gurl's stuff... well, maybe 'twas just a cross.dreser, yah, true.   luckily it's not the dorms, so no1 goes 'round stealing bras n' panties to hang in their window.   isn't that cruel?   ppl did that in foothill tho'.   so then what?   the gurl hast'a knock on the guy's door n' ask 4 her underwear back or something.   i never understood the pt of that...   well, also i never went 'round stealing gurls' underwear.   neway, 'twas a laundry nite, n' i used up all my 0.25s.   2day @ lunch, i went to the calfed in greenbrae n' got more.

of course every1 compares the korean group solid to boys ii men.   jerome also compares them to kai.   where did boys ii men go?   i haven't heard their stuff in a while.   but man... isn't that weird?   like, think of the stuff ppl of my subgeneration listened to when we were young/hip/in college.   think 4 a sec 'bout our subgeneration's pop culture n' fashion, etc.   isn't it weird to think? *sigh*   well, it's easy 4 me to think, n' i visualise certain things n' ppl in my head; but u won't necesssarily visualise the same things.   when i think of that topic, 4 some reason i think of certain ppl i know via toby: john wang n' jin choi.   i guess somehow i thought they were very hip in their day. ha ha. i make us all sound like such old geezers, huh?   ha ha.   but i dunno... some reason i think of them.   neway, i got this yucky spider in my office.   i've let it live 4 a while out of mercy, but it's high time i flat out execute it!

yesterday, i discovered a web journal that i really like!   there's this guy moonhee kang in korea, n' he draws a cute cartoon daily journal!   it's called "life is good."   c, here's a guy who cs the simple pleasures in life.   his journal entries r very simple n' short.   he focuses on things ppl tend to overlook.   he's a guy w/ a professional career; he's 3 yrs married n' has a li'l daughter.   please check out his site.   i'm sure u'll like it!   n' yah, he's a kang, just like the beautiful kaela kang.   yah, i think i'd like to think of life like moonhee does, 'least as he portrays life in his journal.   doesn't it cm like i really complicate life?   *sigh*   butchu know... i've already toldju that i just don't know what "the simple life" is.

i've gained weight.   i'm consistently 'bout 151# nowadays.   a yr 'go, i could've been consistently 10# under that.   i'm fine tho'.   i'm not anorexic.   i want to be healthy n' fit, yes; but i'm not trying to be as skinny as possible.   while surfing the net, i saw this web journal, the diary of an aneroxic.   something like that.   it's really weird.   it's serious.   this person's really anorexic n' well... she talks 'bout it very frankly... she sez she shouldn't be ashamed.   hrm... well, i hope she lives.   i think she's actually a fashion model.   she had some pics on her page, but she had her face smudged out.   she's an african american woman.   neway... me, i've gained weight.   i haven't had many intense aerobic werkouts lately.   last nite, master yoon taught us 'bout teaching basics to white belts.   it was more of a lecture.   i definitely benefitted from his talk, but it's just funny that i felt like i just went to a class, not a werkout.   that's totally fine, yes; but it's just not what we're used to.   some ppl take classes @ nite, like sit down @ a desk classes.   some ppl, after werk, go to club mtgs, church mtgs/fellowships.   they don't get exercise every nite.   so it's like that, i s'ppose, but a bit more active than that...   after werkout, laura came over to my place n' ate leftover jjajangmyuhn w/ kaela n' me.   we watched tv.

u know, 2 nites 'go, kaela n' i watched blind date, n' we saw a coupl'a really bad dates.   the 1st 1 was this really nasty korean chick w/ fake boobs.   n' she went out w/ this really sleazy french guy.   it was such a disaster date, n' they were arguing from such an early pt on.   but hrm... these ppl were so trashy!   that's really judgemental, but yah...   the next date was this matt damon looking surfer guy w/ this really skinny, blonde chick.   'gain it was such a disaster, n' they were arguing almost right from the start.   in both cases, the gurls acted really "bitchy," as ppl'd say.   the french guy was really sleazy, n' i didn't feel much sympathy 4 him in his situation, but the surfer guy cmed to try to be a nice guy.   it's funny tho'... i felt like i was watching jerry springer... 'least w/ the 1st date, cos they cmed so trashy!

well, i didn't practice taekwondo last nite.   1st, after werk... well, the beautiful kaela kang drove out to corte madera to have a late lunch w/ me, so i took her to bongkot thai in san rafael...   but that was in the early afternoon, then i went back to werk.   she came w/ me n' sat in my office doing homewerk.   then i left the office sometime after 600p, like 630p or so...   we went to orchard supply to copy a key.   that took a while.   then we went to her albany place to throw out the trash n' all the mess left from the fumigation.   then we swung by telegraph ave. andronico's b4 we went to my place.   we bought some things we needed to make jjajangmyuhn.   also i bought some bread, orowheat health nut bread.   it's pretty good; i've had it b4.   i bought it so i could have sandwiches @ werk.   well, we went home, made n' ate jjajangmyuhn, n' watched the cider house rules.   that was a great movie.   so... is that the simple life?   apple picker, lobster fisher?   well, i don't think i'll be an apple picker, a lobster fisher, or an ob/gyn doctor netime in my life.   i'll just have to stick to this complicated life of mine.   but the movie was very touching.

so it rained yesterday quite a bit.   it's crazy; fall is definitely here...   soon it'll be winter n' all the winter holidays.   can u believe that?   imagine that.   get used to the sun going down b4 i leave werk... *sigh*   well, i look 4ward to snowboarding!   am i living a happy life?   c'mon, shouldn't i take a step back n' think 'bout the memories i have from this chapter of my life?   take a step back...   i'm happy.   what kind of stories will i tell my grandchildren?   i'll hand them over my journal... but they won't want to read this whole thing! hrm...   yah, ok, but if the skim thru it... what will they know of me?   well, then 'gain, what do i know of how my father, grandfater, great grandfather lived @ my age?   i've cn those hwang family history videos, n' heard stories, cn pics...   but i guess i've chronicled so many details.   hrm...   well, i like reflecting n' looking back.   the holiday season'll be a fun time.   it always is, isn't it?   u get to take time off from werk... stuff like that: relaxation.

maybe someday i'll figure i got into this online journal thing on the ground floor.   it's not like i was the 1st online journal in the history of online journals, but i guess i've been doing this online journal thing 4 quite some time now.   i realise 2 that it takes a long time to load up my journal these days, huh?   steve pted that out.   but, yah, i do put the most recent entry 1st.   i saw 2day that this page digital storytelling on tech-head.com has my journal listed.   i wonder when that happened.   no clue.   oh, i'm totally fine w/ that, but i just had no clue 'bout it.   man, i can't wait to get back on the snow...   i know that's not a very coherent thought, but...   just think...   going to tahoe, snowboarding, putting on sunblock, eating fud bought from gas station fud marts n' fast fud drivethrus, cing lots'a pine trees...   'member when i got in the big accident?   ...not like that's something i want to think 'bout...   'member how, when aaa asked me where i was, i sed, 'i dunno.'   then they asked me 4 a landmark, n' i sed, "well, there's lots'a trees around me... some power lines..."   maybe i even sed "mountains," i 4get... but it pretty much cracked the operator up... but it's no laffing matter, 'course... i dunno...   *sigh*

i've always told kaela this...   when we walk 'round berkeley n' c kids on skateboards, i tell her kids in san josé skate so much better.   in berkeley, all u c is kids falling off skateboards.   in san jo, u c kids pulling off tricks n' landing them.   i ask her, don't the ppl of berkeley consider it a matter of public concern that their kids r so behind in skateboarding? that san josé kids skateboard so much better than them?!   really!   berkeley streets r so torn up... who can really skateboard on them?!   but san jo has tons of nice pavement, so kids can really learn to skateboard.   but now look!   milpitas (which is just some li'l town stuck onto san jo, right?) now has the vans skatepark in the great mall!   whoa!   c, on sun, the beautiful kaela kang n' i went to milpitas to meet up w/ my dad, grace, n' steve @ natori buffet, which is, as my dad sez, a taiwanese buffet cos it combines chinese n' japanese fud... n' has some taiwanese fud...   then kaela n' i met up w/ ken n' grace (choi) @ the great mall.   then we were to meet up w/ jimmy wang @ ken's milpitas store, but i got sidetracked on my way out of the great mall cos i saw the vans skatepark.   whuh?   we didn't have nething like that when i was a kid on a skateboard!   whuh?!   i thought it was very unfair that kids these days get to have a skatepark in the silicon valley.   well, hrm... unfair or not?   c, my adolescent days as a skateboarder was nuthin' like what these gen y kids r experiencing, right?   when i was a skater kid, skateboarders had such a bad rep.   we had no where to go, so we skated in parking lots n' stuff n' in the street.   n' all sorts'a concerned neighbourhood residents hated us n' stuff.   but now look!   there's this big skatepark in milpitas n' all the sudden skateboarding's a wholesome family sport again.   hrm...   but shouldn't i shake my fist @ all this n' say, "back in my day we never had nething like this! we had it hard!   n' i'd never want to grow up like u spoiled kids cos going thru all the hardships we had to go thru, we developed personality, n' u kids will never get to experience that!"   ha ha.   *sigh*   well, really!   just think...   my dad thinks i'm materialistic, n' prob'ly spoiled...   lots'a ppl older than me prob'ly think my generations all materialistic, hedonistic, irresponsible, n' spoiled.   n' then just dwell 4 a sec on supermike's saying, "4 every 3 generation 1 falls."

what does that really mean?   i mean, what r u measuring success w/?   so many just measure success thru money.   that's awful.   n' then what 'bout achieving success thru fame?   hrm.. maybe that's good 4 a while, but then some1'll say that's just as evil.   then what 'bout achieving spiritual success?   there is such a thing, right?   but then some1 who believes in money'll tear u down.   what 'bout just achieving happiness...   simple happiness.   but what's simple happiness?!   it cms like ppl used to think that'd be just having a wife n' family, a house, maybe a dog, a steady, honest job, n' time to go out to nature every so often...   u'd find happiness mowing the lawn.   but really...   do ppl believe that these days?   *sigh*   maybe to some extent, but they want ikea furniture in that house. that's all...   but then the wife, family, house, possible dog, n' natural retreat all cost money, n' so that steady, honest job better put out.   it costs more to live in the bay area now... cos u gotta cough up some dough to live near a vans skatepark, u know.   ha ha.   neway, so the pt is... i already asked "what is the simple life neway?"   yah, maybe i'm quite disillusioned by that whole concept, or what?   i just think 2 hard, huh?   do materialism n' success go hand.in.hand?   well, hrm...   can i consider myself a success?   uh oh! quarter life crisis talk!   listen... why don't i focus on the things i can do, instead of the things that ppl want me to do...

[later] neway, let's rattle off some events now.   on thurs nite, taekwondo practice.   then... then what?   i 'member eating kaela's leftover eggplant/hummous wrap, watching simpsons...   i guess that was 'bout it.   then fri, werk, fell asleep after werk, taekwondo practice... then laura n' kaela dropped me n' jerome off @ toby's 4 haircuts while they went to durant fud ct to buy us all some fud.   jarvis was over when i got there.   whoa!   there's a guy i haven't cn in ages!   so i sat n' talked to jarvis.   then jarvis left, but betty came in.   i sat n' talked to betty.   toby was cutting jerome's hair.   then kaela n' laura came back w/ fud.   we ate.   then toby cut my hair.   we all also watched simpsons in there.   i felt very bad cos we were keeping toby n' betty up late, n' they looked so tired.

sat, the choosuhk festival demo... we rehearsed in the morn, we had lunch @ the durant fud ghetto.   it was cold n' cloudy, but i still ordered mul naengmyuhn from ramen house cos i didn't want nething 2 heavy.   we ate, we did the demo...   it went well.   it was a big event.   i'm glad we could be part of it.   lots'a ppl were there!   afterwards, jerome drove me n' andy down to san jo / milpitas.   jerome needed to switch his video card, n' andy wanted to buy a new fon from ken's store... that's ideal paging n' cellular!   (that's the place to buy cell fons, k?)   we went to bascom fry's.   then we went to san jo fry's.   i bought some tasty turkey jerky there!   then we went to ken's store.   andy bought a kewl samsung fon.   we were really late getting back.   we picked up kaela n' went to a demo team get2gether @ chals's.

sun, kaela n' i went down to milpitas.   n' that's where i sorta started this entry, right?

so priceline.com is going belly up, huh?   i'm glad i sold it off b4 all this, but i know i could'a made some money if i had sold it several months 'go when they shot up.   man, stocks suck.   ha ha.   neway, so what's up?   last nite, we had to prepare brandie n' kaela's apt. 4 fumigation.   they're pissed cos the landlord gave them such short notice.   we were up very late.   i told my supervisor @ werk that i'd only werk in the afternoon 2day, so i got to sleep in till past noon.   oh yah!   b4 all that fumigation prep, i got my cd.r werking w/ nero, n' i'm now spittin' out copies of benomix3 left n' right!   woo hoo! woo hoo, indeed.   i just gotta print out the covers now...   i can't wait!   b4 i went to werk, i had lunch w/ the beautiful kaela kang @ that smoothie/burritos place on center by ox4d.   i dunno the name... so i guess i can't do a dine.com review... neway, dine.com's been so slow @ approving my entries lately!

so i'm back online w/ my modemblaster n' all.   i got the win2000 driver, n' everything's werkin'!   kewl!   i'm installing unionway n' getright now.   i need netscape... i need a good e.mail program.   i've been using eudora, n' i think i'll keep using eudora cos i don't wanna lose ne of the headers on my e.mails.   oh, it's 120a or so right now.   we went to taekwondo practice.   then the beautiful kaela kang n' i went to daruma w/ laura, where i ate n' they had pearl drinks.   but laura's a pearl drink snob, so she ditched her daruma drink cos it tasted like watermelon bubblicious, n'she bought 1 from satay house.   we watched 2 episodes of simpsons.   k, that sounds routine to u, huh?   well, sheesh! someday i'll blow up the world n' i'll letchu know 'bout it, k?   actually, we haven't been to daruma in ages, but the ownder is nice to me.   he sez hi.   1tym, he saw kaela n' i eating w/ some taekwondo ppl in the fud ct, not his restaurant, n' he still sed hi.   he's a real prick to other ppl, like darlene...   but he's nice to me.   well, that makes him sound really bad.   i ought to say he's a nice guy, n' u should eat @ his restaurant...   well, u should.   but we'll c if he's nice to u or not.   k, i'll try to continue this entry later.

baby penguins r nursed by their fathers.   penguins r good fathers, i guess.   u should c these baby penguin pics from the new england aquarium.

so we have taekwondo demo on sat afternoon 4 the kaso chusok festival in pauley ballroom.   on sun, i'm to meet my dad 4 lunch in san jo (he'll be in town 4 a fundraising event 4 congressman mike honda), so i've got to get to san jo.   i installed win2000 on my 'puter last nite, meaning i wiped everything out, 4matted my drive, etc.   so now i need apps.   i'm gettin' some from jerome n' andy, but i might need some stuff from ken.   jerome needs to go to fry's to do some shopping stuff.   so i've thought 'bout going to san jo on sat nite, staying to sun, n' taking jerome w/ us.   brandie wants to go clubbing on sat nite cos she'll be done w/ the lsat.   i'm down w/ clubbing, n' the beautiful kaela kang sounds like she'd like to go clubbing.   but the idea of going clubbing in sf n' getting down to san jo in time 4 lunch w/ my dad? no way.   so i'm suggesting we go clubbing in san jo.   but where is there to go clubbing in san jo?   clubbing, as in dancing; not as in beating ppl or snakes w/ clubs.   i looked on the net.   then i saw some articles on metroactive 'bout asian clubs...   i read them.   it's really interesting cos they're written by older folks of an older generation, ppl my sister's age.   their perception of asian america is so much different from, well, like ppl jerome n' joon's age n' younger.   it's cms so outdated n' primitive, yet i think it's good 4 some1 interested in asian.am culture to study the writings of these historical figures.   ha ha.   u know what i mean...   like, they're still talking 'bout amy tan n' stuff like that...   *sigh*   funny, huh?   it's not like amy tan is dead or nething, but her writings like joy luck club really address the issues of a different asian america from what i'm now used to dealing w/.   but i 'member those days, ('least the tail end of those days); i was alive in the 80s.   here's 2 pieces i think u should study: "asians gather together at night to (gasp!) party and (believe it!) get laid" by amy chen mills n' "the joy suck club: the stealth asian shall inherit the earth" by todd s. inoue.   the 1st piece talks 'bout asian niteclubs, but the author sounds like some anthropologist finding a new civilization...   it's really funny.   to folks of of my inbetween x n' y generation n' to gen y, this sounds really hokey...   we've taken 4granted the existence of asian party life.   the author explores k2 @ the sound factory n' club bien bien...   really, this article isn't all that old, written in 1998; but uhm... well, i don't disrespect her, but it's really funny from my perspective...   it's like a "wow, they make soup... in cans!" kind'a thing.   neway, i won't poke fun.   it's good 4 u young'uns to hear what some1 w/ more wisdom of the earlier days of asian.am culture has to say.   u'll hear her describe a coupl'a asian clubs, then she'll go on to speak in shock 'bout asian clubbing apparel, then she'll talk 'bout the asian ethnogender conflict... ha ha.   k, neway, read that article, then read the article that's linked to it.   todd inoue talks 'bout "stealth asians," asians that don't act "asian."   well, ha ha... yah, uhm... it's also a topic that's kind'a not so much an issue nowadays, but was more in the not 2 distant past.   'member my life as a freshman?   'member how i didn't want to make asian friends?   that's the life that this article discusses.   asians who think they're so phucin' alternative just cos they do something other than go clubbing.   (that sounds cynical.)   uhm... well, not just that... but also 'bout asians who think they're so different just cos they're not overachievers.   uhm, it's something that really blossomed in those days of the great depression of the late 80s / early 90s, in my humble opinion.   yah, there was a time in the 80s where u'd have all these nationality specific youth groups, n' kids come 2gether, talk 'bout how hard 'twas to be a [insert asian nationality here] kid in high skool, dealing w/ parental pressure, sats, fitting in w/ non.asian kids, etc.   then they'd watch sixteen candles n' eat pizza.   well, i can tell a li'l 'bout those days, u young'uns, but i know u won't ask.   neway, this article talks 'bout not fitting in w/ that crowd.   it's all very interesting, guys.

so i say it's high time to rattle off some events.   last nite, came home...   replaced my broken modem w/ the new modemblaster n' started installing win2000.   kaela got to use her new stovetop grill, n' we had grilled gajami n' veggies.   we watched part of the sexiest bachelor in america pageant.   hey, it's only fair.   i don't think there's nething wrong w/ guys in pageants.   honestly, tho', i don't find the women in miss america type pageants to be all that.   they're 2 wholesome.   we also saw some of some documentary on kcsm 'bout some chinese family string quartet in iowa.   they talked 'bout dvorak.   i watched the simpsons, both episodes.   i talked on the fon w/ jerome n' ken, mostly 'bout acquiring 'puter apps.   2day i called verizon 'bout switching to the 250 peak, 1000 off peak, 1000 cell2cell plan.   they'll switch it on 29 oct, my next billing cycle.   so till then i'll have my unlimited offpeak plan.   i'll avoid using peak mins till then, but 1nce i have this new plan, i can talk much to every1 else who has a cell fon.   that's good.

2day is the 1st werkday of october y2k.   well, yah, last week was a hard week in many ways.   thanks, helen, 4 sending me a msg.   i notice u haven't posted nething on ur daily dimsum in a long time.   i hope u'r doing fine.   so what's up?   lemme c.   fri, hrm...   fri, oh yah!   fri, i drove the beautiful kaela kang down to san leandro to pick up her kia sportage from the shop.   the still gotta fix the center armrest thingy.   then we went to the albany place n' ate fatt'ning zachary's pizza w/ brandie, jerome, n' laura.   marissa also came home later.   we watched the princess bride.   ppl were s'pposed to study, but they didn't.   sat, we woke up late, but i took kaela quickly to sf to exchange some stuff @ a store, then i bought us lunch @ noah's bagels.   they do make good sandwiches, u know.   2 bad their stock went so bad.   then i went to demo team practice.   then i came home, cooked jjolmyuhn dduhkbokki, while kaela made kongchingchai (i guess, that's how u spell the name of that hollow tube veggie.), n' we ate n' watched charade, a 1963 audrey hepburn / cary grant movie (we didn't know the name, but i looked it up just now.) on kqed.   so i've recently taken a liking to public tv.   i feel enriched n' educated thru public tv.   altho' i don't condone couch potatoing, if i'm gonna sit in front of the tv n' watch something other than the simpsons or my sister, it might as well be public television, don'tchu think?   last thurs, i watched a documentary on kcsm 'bout notre dame's history, n' a nova episode on kqed 'bout the history of car safety.   both were very interesting to me.   i think the car safety was very good 4 an engineer to watch.   but inventions rn't always really from engineers.   ne1 w/ a good idea can be an inventor.   engineers might just be some uncreative peons that do all sorts of drawings n' calculations b4 the idea becomes a marketable product.   that's sad to think.   but then, the product might never have gotten newhere w/o engineers.   but it'd feel best to be the inventor n' the engineer, i figure.   neway... sat, after watching charade, or actually, we didn't really finish... brandie picked us n' jerome up to go to dr. eric johnson's get 2gether.   he's leaving berkeley now to be a postdoc in san diego.   eric's got a really interesting place w/ lots'a memorabilia, toys, n' musik things.   'twas a good time.   sun morn, i went to the stadium cleanup.   then i took kaela w/ me to jiffy lube, where i got my oil changed... or my forester's oil, rather...   then i took her to lunch @ café durant.   then we went to the vlsb library.   we had bought a sunday sf chronicle that i read in the library.   then, kaela had to meet her friends maria n' marilyn @ starbuck's on oxford.   they studied; i read newspapers.   i mostly read restaurant reviews.   afterwards, kaela took me to dinner @ yeitnal jjajang, n' i bought some groceries @ pusan plaza.

so what else should i write 'bout here?   i mostly just rattled off my ongoings n' praised public tv.   what else should i say?   yah, like chals sed 'bout his café chulho, there'r things i won't talk 'bout here: i won't talk 'bout offical werk biz nor official taekwondo biz.   ppl read here, n' it's public.   i discuss most of my ongoings.   i want to have a record of all that i did.   i'll write 'bout my opinions... like all that asian.am stuff.   i want to write stuff like a columnist would.   u know something?   here's an opinion, as well as more of beno's asian.am bs.   u know, i definitely think there's not enuf asian.american restaurant critics.   i don't mean to be all racially biased or nething, but the bay area needs more restaurant critics who talk 'bout asian restaurants n' actually know what they're talking 'bout.   even reviewers in the bay area guardian n' sf weekly rn't all that educated 'bout asian cuisine altho' they write 'bout it.   this is a matter of dire concern, n' ppl should take care of this matter.   i wanna watch girlfight, the boxing movie.   the motorola sc 3160 puts out 2 much radiation.   i think kaela n' i ought to get matching motorola startac 7860s.   i'm gonna hafta convince ken.   he'd rather give us the audiovox 4000 cos he sez it's a better web.browsing fon, but it also puts out a lotta radiation... well, better than the 3160.   i've asked ken to switch my plan from unlimited offpeak to 1000 offpeak w/ 250 peak n' 1000 mobile to mobile.   it'll be cheaper.   mobile to mobile is really good!   if u call ur friend or sweetie n' he/she has a cell fon, then it's free, peak or offpeak!   it's good.   i wish my 'puter wouldn't act so sick.   i want a perfectly functioning 'puter, w/ a perfectly functioning cd.r drive!

on sat after demo team practice, in the ucmap office, i saw that phil e.mailed me.   i didn't have a chance to read the e.mail then, but i read it now.   u know... phil has so many wise wurds to say...   then 'gain sometimes ppl think he's full of bs.   ha ha.   it's ok 4 me to say this, right?   i mean, phil... u know who i'm talking 'bout, right?   in fact, i sometimes have thought u were full of bs, right?   we've argued 'bout stuff, right?   4 example, there was a time when i thought savage garden was more of a turn of the century erasure, but u argue that it was white soul; pop musik like n'sync, etc.   i dunno... were we both right, or was i wrong?   obviously, u were right to some extent... neway, i'd want to post up some of the things u sed in ur e.mail, but i wouldn't want to post it all up, cos i don't wanna invade ur privacy, 'course.   but u sed some really good things.   here, i can't help myself!   i'm gonna post up a li'l clip:

I'm not saying that life should be a constant shuffling of the cards, direction and consistency are always important in life.   But nowhere in our lives will change be as easy as it can be now.   Five years from now we'll be married and have a home, ten years from now young children (you and me, babe, how about it?)   Twenty years from now we'll have midlife crises, but only if we plant the seed of the crisis through inaction.   The 45 year-old strapping on rollerblades wouldn't look so foolish or feel so awkward, if he'd started the same thing at 25.   Whether we like it or not, our lives are moving, because time is always going forward and slipping away...

so i got that e.mail on sat.   also on sat, during demo practice, i got a voicemail from perry 'bout a nike sale in orinda.   well, i didn't have time to stop by orinda on sun, but thanks, perry!   well, perry's 1 of my readers who has experienced more of life than some of my other readers.   so what would perry say 'bout what phil wrote?   ...not that perry's newhere near 45 or nething... i didn't mean to imply that! but he's done the getting married n' having a home n' child thing.   n' he's also managed to continue doing taekwondo thru.out most of that.   i think that's kewl.   'course perry doesn't know this, altho' i sorta mentioned it to kaela; i really respect perry 4 his ability to keep up w/ taekwondo n' carry on a life w/ a family.   n' i talked to kaela b4 'bout how i wonder how i'll ever do that.   i don't think it's impossible, but i just have a hard time visualising what it'll really be like.

it feels good to make money on the stock market.   it sucks to lose money.   it's nice to have a cellfon that doesn't give u brain cancer.   (phil, i haven't heard ne news 'bout professor tien who recently had a brain tumorectomy.)   but we're s'pposed to focus on simple things in life now n' then... but what r the simple things in life?!?!   u can get out to the great outdoors...   but hey, that's expensive after a while.   u can go snowboarding... but that's an elitist's sport, n' it's expensive, n' stressful after a while, right?   u can do taekwondo, getchur aggressions out, feel healthy n' whole... but then u also deal w/ a lott'a organisational biz after a while.   u could drink lots'a liquor n' beer; but then u'd be a drunk.   u could watch a bunch'a tv, but then u'd be a couch potato.   u could go out, play, dance, n' enjoy fine dining, but that's expensive n' hedonistic.   u could pursue religion; but then ppl'd mix u up in the politics as well as more organisational werk.   so what r the simple things in life?!?! *sigh*   i think i ought to travel a li'l, here n' there.   i think, during kaela's winter break, i wanna take a week off n' go to tahoe n' reno, then meet up w/ dr. eric in mammoth.   n' maybe i ought to give phil n' supermike visits, huh?   i dunno...   but when?   i'd like to c new york city sometime in my near future 2.   it'd be fun to travel, yah.   but how long could i travel b4 i run out of cash?   n' would't it be fun to have a dog?   but then dogs shed fur all over ur upholstery, n' u gotta pick up after them.   how can u have a dog n' have a job, unless u have kids to take care of the dog?   i really wish owen had brought truffie to the stadium cleanup!   so neway!!! what really is the simple life?   doesn't it cm like nething can stress u out?   *sigh* n' i wouldn't wanna be directionless!   i wanna be good @ the things i do...   sometimes i'd whine that life just cms impossible, huh?   'least i'd wanna whine that.   but whining gets u no where.   it's better to take action.

wed nite, i took the beautiful kaela kang to get her car fixed in san leandro.   afterwards, i took her to dinner @ nan yang in rockridge.   supermike hates that place.   yah, it's a li'l pretentious n' overyuppyish (n' overpriced, as supermike sez), but we might as well have tried it out 1nce, right?   i think kaela's garlic noodles w/ seafud was the best dish.   k, that was wed.   thurs, werk, this that, had lunch @ a chinese buffet in mill valley, went to taekwondo, practiced, led demo werkout, went to safeway to buy juice, took chals w/ me.   we bought some weird "tastykakes" cos they were on sale.   they're really fattening 2.   well, it's fri.   it's been a long week; it's been a long fri.   i feel pretty battered.   yah, battered like a tempura shrimp ready to be deep fried to a golden crisp.   i'm not in a joyous mood.   i'm really emotionally worn out from this week.   but i push onward.   it's weekend now.   it's time to have fun, time to celebrate, everybody get down.   *sigh* why am i still in my office?

i almost typed june or july instead of september.   how did that happen?   i dunno.   well, i got it right in the end.   yesterday, i should'a posted, but i didn't have time.   yesterday was b.day 4 2: liane n' jocelyn.   happy b.day!   i doubt jocelyn reads here, but liane's supposedly does.   liane, happy b.day!   neway, i should'a sed it yesterday.   i didn't post an entry yesterday, but i did write 3 reviews 4 dine.com.   u can read my reviews there n' sign up to write ur own.   make sure u sign up under my name cos i get a quarter if u do; n' i sure need quarters 4 them berkeley parking meters.   so the olympic taekwondo competition started yesterday.   usa was eliminated right 'way, but if it's ok to cheer 4 non.us teams, then why don't we be happy that taiwan won 2 bronze medals.   y! had an article 'bout the taiwanese taekwondo team.   "'we will become sinners for eternity if we do not win a gold,' sung said recently."   this sung guy is their coach.   their big star is huang chih.hsiung.   (has jason fought this guy b4?)   taiwan was hoping to bring home its 2 1st gold medals ever, but oh well.

ne1 who really loves taekwondo prob'ly really hates it @ times 2.   love/hate relationship.   it's really emotional n' takes 'lot out of u @ times... if u really love it.   i have pursuits in life, n' i take them seriously.   i have my engineering career, i have taekwondo, deejaying, n' snowboarding.   1nce u get to snowboarding, u start making that transition from serious pursuit to hobby...   but these r things i really want to do well.   my "hobbies" r cooking, watching simpsons, eating out...   there's things i want to do in life.   n' in general i want to be a capable person, a strong person, 1 who can accomplish things, 1 who has fun, 1 who is active... it's all part of what makes me beno.   my life has trials, conflicts, n' drama.   there's all that i wanna do, n' then there r all sorts'a obstacles in the way.   sometimes i'm really motivated, sometimes i'm not motivated.   sometimes i'm frustrated or discouraged.   why try?   why not just let myself wither away?   i could eat cheetos n' play computer games all day, watch jenny jones n' every single episode of star trek that comes on.   i really liked playing m.u.d., back in the day... so why don't i just sit on the net all day, all nite? surf 4 porn all day, all nite?   n' then eat more cheetos...   but no, i don't live that kind of life.   i want to be a better person.   well, i know kaela's pissed @ me right now cos she thinks i don't care that she pulled her quad 'gain @ practice last nite.   i cared, but i had to take care of my duties on the mat as a demo team leader n' as a demo team member.   i found out that master yoon isn't letting sam or chals go down to the hanmadang competition, so i know i've got a responsibility to 1) lead the team n' 2) perform well in their absence.   i have taekwondo pursuits.   i want her to understand that.   n' it's not w/o her in mind.   pursuits... better person... i want to be a better person 4 her 2.   i don't want to be some bf who's 2 wimpy to be able to carry her n' her bags n' things upstairs when she hurts her leg... it's not that i have or want a helpless or weak gf, but isn't it good if i'm capable of taking care of her when necessary?   n' it's not just physical things... there r mental, psychological, spiritual things i want to develop inside myself via my pursuits in life.   i'd like to be a decently technologically saavy person, i'd like to be able to come up w/ mechanical solutions to life's problems... i'd like to be a confident 'nuf person that i'm not a burden upon others...   in the whole idea of developing myself, it's not just 4 myself.

2day is sandy huang's b.day.   happy b.day sandy.   i don't think u read this tho'.   i'd better post on café chulho.   man, when was the last time i posted?   not many ppl read this nemore cos i don't post, huh?   oh well...   actually, i know phil does tho', right phil?   phil's alive, in oregon.   the beautiful kaela kang reads this, right?   well, yah, i know some ppl read this, but i also know i've been lazy, so it's my fault if u've tuned out... but please come back! i'm here! n' i'm writing!   neway... where did i leave off?   thurs? fri?   i 4get.   thurs nite, we had a demo @ unit iii.   then we practised.   it's hard 4 me to have these demo practices after normal practice cos i gotta spend so much on parking.   i'd rather have practices on mon n' wed, but we've gotta stick to master yoon's schedule.   kaela pulled her quad, so i had to help her out n' home.   i bought her fud from j.box n' an assortment of muscle pain relief products.   i guess i ought to have this kind'a stuff on hand, being in taekwondo, but 1) i try not to use medicinal pain relief n' 2) maybe i just don't werk out hard 'nuf to need it.   i like being sore; it means i'm exercising, n' i'm healthy.   i like that feeling.   i don't like the fact that i haven't had ne exercise since thurs's practice.   that's bad.

fri, i took kaela to eos in the cole valley burrough of sf.   it's nice, worth the price.   it's a really san franciscan joint full of alternachic folk n' yuppies.   it's an asianfusion restaurant.   i'll review it shortly.   then we neoprinted @ j.town w/ the big, round piyo kaela gave me.   'twas all in celebration of our 8th monthversary.   sat, we went to costco, then we went to san jo to go to santa cruz 4 a bonfire w/ ken, grace, billy, elbert, shinwha, her friend jen shen, (hu)bert lee, his wife allison, hogan, n' his fiancée ancheli.   yah, it was really fun.   we went to this hidden cove, a semiwell kept secret.   i guess ucsc students go there.   it's more beautiful than ocean beach but much harder to find / get to.   i'm glad i have all wheel drive cos billy's van got stuck in some ditches that i managed to drive right thru.   yah, it's fun to do outdoors stuff!   it's a darn shame folks in berkeley rn't more up 4 it these days!   (a darn diddly doo dang shame!)   kaela n' i stayed in san jo that nite.   on sun, we had lunch w/ my mom, grace, n' steve @ ocean palace.   we swung by ken's store 1 last time, so i could switch out my fon 'gain n' pick up 2 cable boxes 4 jin choi.   then we picked up our laundry from home n' went back up.   we dropped off the cable boxes w/ jin.   then we ate @ kamakura in alameda.   it's a really good japanese restaurant.   they give u a shot of plum wine 4 dessert.

ok, so that was my weekend.   we didn't c the cal taekwondo nat'l collegiate team tryouts.   i'm not part of that; i'm just doing demo team stuff now.   that's a handful!   i'm glad sam's so eager to take over leadership cos... ha... it's a lot to do!   @ the same time, i'm s'pposed to be in charge of stuff 2 still.   master yoon wants me to, n' i don't mind.   i just definitely need help n' support.   i was really frustrated 'bout having to buy all the boards 4 demo team last semester out of my own cash 1nce 'gain.   but now ucmap's giving us $500 to go down to this hanmadang demo competition in garden grove.   so that's good.   yah, i was thinking 'bout the whole leadership thing...   i think i can't totally ditch the leadership role.   i've been 'round the cal demo team 4 a while now, n' i'm senior to most the members... so i should act responsibly, n' that includes taking on leadership responsibilities, n' it's not just a responsibilities, like a job 4ced upon me... i do want to do it, but i @ 1st i thought, "oh, if other ppl wanna do it, then that's fine. they can..." but i do have a duty to pass on what i do know 'bout leading demos... ppl have different kinds of experience, n' i have mine.

i told the beautiful kaela kang that tapioca is some flour, n' it expands into those balls when u cook them in water.   that's what my sister told me a long, long time 'go.   but she sed she saw on survivor that they were looking @ tapioca trees.   huh?   yah, apparently, tapioca is made from a flour, which is made from the root of the cassava plant.   ah, i c.   ok, so that's what's going on.   i wonder if boba/zhenzhou/pearls r made from the same plant.   i dunno, do u?

so yesterday was our 8th monthversary.   we didn't really get to have a big celebration tho'.   we went to demo team practice cos we have a demo 2nite @ unit 3.   been practicing.   we practiced on tues nite 2.   that's good.   after tues nite's practice, chals came over, n' we cooked 4 him dduhkbokki (dduhk... dduhk... dduhk... goose!!!) n' hobak twigim.   (psydduhk)   practices have been going later; i don't get as much sleep.   i eat much 2 late.   that's bad; shouldn't eat right b4 bed.   nope!   that tues nite, i got to talk to chals 4 a while.   after chals left, ken called, n' i talked to him 4 a while.   it's good to talk.   it always is.

kaela came n' visited me @ my office 2day, n' we had lunch.   i'm very happy that kaela is my gf!   i'm very happy 'bout that.   i really feel compatible.   on tues nite, when chals was over, we watched blind date 4 1nce, we saw such a compatible couple.   compatibility is very important.   u know when u've got it.   u feel like there's a female/male/opposite sex version of u... in some ways, not all.   to some extent, opposites attract, so maybe there's got to be certain differences.   k, i gotta bust outta here n' get ready 4 the demo.   i'm late!

i 4got to mention that on sat nite, as the beautiful kaela kang n' i ate our soondooboo, we watched gandhi on kqed.   it was kewl to c it again after all these yrs.   i recognised things that fahad talked 'bout like nehru n' the way the muslims greet each other.   it was very interesting to watch.   on fri nite, as we waited @ amc van ness 4 our late showing of duets, we saw part of the olympic opening ceremonies.   actually, we saw part of it b4 we left albany 2.   wow, olympics...   the most important event, of course, is taekwondo.   it all takes place on 27 sept, that's a week from 2morrow.   yah, cal n' roland r going down to watch.   i can't believe taekwondo is all happening on 1 day.   i guess since each country only gets to send 2 weight classes, 1 competitor in each, trims down the length of the competition.   oh, wait! the competition is gonna take 3 days; nevermind.   man, olympic competitors r often so young!   if u don't accomplish this n' that by the time u'r like 20, then u'r a nobody, huh?   atheletes r so young, singers/musicians r so young, all sorts'a celebrities r all so young.   why's that?   this cbs big brother house show is almost interesting to me.   altho' i don't really watch nething on tv besides the simpsons; this is an interesting idea.   they have an asian guy in the house, n' he's still alive.   these shows r strange, huh? survivor, big brother... tv does want to be like edtv nowadays.   well, then we can get rid of actors.   it's funny; when i watched chasing amy 4 the 1st time, i thought ben affleck was such a smalltime actor, but then now i c this ben affleck, matt damon, gwyneth paltrow bunch as being this turn of the century brat pack.   while we're on the topic of entertainment, please write to upn44 n' thank them 4 giving us a full hour of simpsons @ 1100p n' keeping the 0.5 hr @ 600p.   that's 2 kewl!   of course, we gotta tell kpix that we love that new news reporter grace hwang.

last nite, i had a werking guy's evening, i feel.   i s'ppose this is what "normal" life is s'pposed to feel like.   i came home.   kaela n' i cooked dinner: eggplant, oyster 'shrooms, rice.   'twas all vegetarian.   we watched tv as we ate.   then i went to sam's to talk 'bout demo team organisational stuff.   then i came home, watched some more olympics n' simpsons, then went to sleep.   c, that's what i figure a "normal" werking guy's life is like... unlike the "taekwondo practice every nite" life that i lived last yr.   but i prefer the "taekwondo practice every nite" life; i feel more alive n' awake when i'm active every nite.   after watching simpsons i felt so sleepy.   i don't feel good 'bout that kind of life.   i don't wanna watch tv much; tv is evil.   altho' i like simpsons, i shouldn't watch much more tv than that n' my sister.   i should be out doing stuff.   it's absolutely no good that i haven't done taekwondo since last thurs; taekwondo can't be a 2ce a week thing 4 me!   i'm rather upset 'bout how much less time i've been spending on taekwondo practice.

olympics... on café chulho, we had a li'l discussion 'bout cheering 4 non.us teams, 'bout cheering 4 asian countries' teams, while watching the 'lympics.   is it ok 4 asian.americans to cheer 4 asian countries instead of the u.s.?   why is it so hard 4 asian to make it big in athletics in the u.s.?   well, it's not that bad: there r many asian.american athletes, plenty!   but yah, most athletes who get attention r black or white.   asian.american parents don't encourage kids 'nuf to pursue sports as a career.   well, yah... that's such an overused statement.   musik 2... some bay area paper had an article 'bout how the bay area youth symphony orchestras were like 90% asian, but there rn't nearly that many professional asian.american classical musicians.   n' the article blamed asian.american parents 4 not encouraging their kids to pursue classical musik as a profession.   yah, it's very overstated, but it's somewhat true.   n' it's also somewhat of a stereotype.   i figure, if the american public gets used to that statement, then they'll just accept things they way they r.   'oh, there's not many famous asian.american athletes cos the parents don't do their job to encourage their kids.'   ok, then what?   how 'bout helping that problem?   u can't just accept it; that's not good 'nuf.

but yah... cheering 4 non.us countries...   some ppls r very nationalistic, true to their heritage.   yah, often asians r, but also latinos n' south americans can be.   i c brazilian n' puerto rican flags n' bumper stickers.   europeans can be.   u c those european car stickers on bumpers.   i don't think that's wrong @ all.   what is american culture neway?   it's a mix of everything, but i don't think it's wrong to be specialised in 1 part of american culture...   but u know... just think how if u cheer 4 the chinese gymanstics team, u just might find urself locked up in a new mexico prison 4 278 days.

hrm... i sed i'd discuss "the circle game" 2day.   here, i'll present it now.   it's joni mitchell's song, "the circle game," some old, old, old song that phil'd like.   n' i think he does.   my friend rosalyne taught me this song on guitar way back soph yr.   yah, i think phil likes it.   it's sorta sappy n' makes u feel old n' that times slipping away:

the circle game

yesterday a child came out to wonder caught a dragonfly inside a jar fearful when the sky was full of thunder and tearful at the falling of a star and the seasons they go round and round and the painted ponies go up and down we're captive on the carousel of time we can't return we can only look behind from where we came and go round and round and round in the circle game

sixteen springs and sixteen summers gone now cartwheels turn to car wheels thru the town and they tell him, take your time, it won't be long now till you drag your feet to slow the circles down and the seasons they go round and round and the painted ponies go up and down we're captive on the carousel of time we can't return we can only look behind from where we came and go round and round and round in the circle game

then the child moved ten times round the seasons skated over ten clear frozen streams words like, when you're older, must appease him and promises of someday make his dreams and the seasons they go round and round and the painted ponies go up and down we're captive on the carousel of time we can't return we can only look behind from where we came and go round and round and round in the circle game

so the years spin by and now the boy is twenty though his dreams have lost some grandeur coming true there'll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty before the last revolving year is through and the seasons they go round and round and the painted ponies go up and down we're captive on the carousel of time we can't return, we can only look behind from where we came and go round and round and round in the circle game

i guess we got stuck in every major bay area traffic jam this weekend: the big 2 hr jam on fri nite / sat morn coming home from watching duets @ amc van ness in sf, the big jam on the way to sf shopping on sat afternoon, the big jam coming up 880 from san jo on sun nite (jerome drove).   so much traffic!   *sigh*   the bay area is so overpopulated, right?   i dunno... every1 wants to live in the bay area.   who deserves to live in the bay area?   let's say we had to pick who to keep in the bay area n' who to throw out, how would we do that?   hrm...   what would be the criteria?   well, the default would be wealth, right?   whoever can afford to live in the bay area stays; whoever can't leaves.   or we could flip it upside down n' kick out the rich.   we could institute cultural/racial discrimination like that fremont politician wanted to do w/ his law that all signs hafta be in english.   u could have all guys!   ha ha.   well, most silicon valley geeks r guys, right?   *sigh*   if only there weren't earthquakes, we could just build huge skyscrapers to house every1, n' build underground malls... n' bart ought to be better.   where's this place headed?

yah, the beautiful kaela kang took me to dinner @ tsingtao on fri nite.   we had palbochae, salt n' pepper fried quail, n' glazed fried bananas.   yum, yum, yum; altho' greasy.   then we went to watch duets, as i mentioned.   yah, i got a really awesome parking spot on van ness, n' phew! my care wasn't broken into!   i'd like to try venture frogs sometime.   venture frogs is the asian fusion restaurant in amc van ness.   so we didn't go to koko house on fri nite.   we were 2 hungry to wait 4 other ppl.   sounds like they had a good time tho'.   on sat, kaela n' i went shopping in sf.   that was 1 of the best days of shopping i've had in a long time.   altho' we fought traffic on the way there, we got free street parking.   wow!   that's like winning the lotto; maybe not the jackpot but 'least a decent prize.   we had lunch @ carl's jr. cos kaela never gets to have carl's jr. up here!   san jo has lots'a carl's jr.   it's just berkeley that's all retarded n' has no carl's jr.   hrm... i sed "retarded."   i almost replaced that w/ "lame," but both r pretty derogatory.   we should respect ppl w/ mental n' physical disabilities.   what if i replaced "retarded" or "lame" w/ "f**ked up"?   hrm...   but we should respect ppl who choose to live a sexual promiscuous lifestyle.   ha ha.   k, neway... lessee... yah, 'twas a really good day of shopping, got stuff we wanted, 'twas nice weather, 'twas fun.   then we bought groceries @ pusan plaza.   then we went home n' made soondooboo.   we were s'pposed to go noraebang that nite, but those plans fell thru.   i got to talk on the fon w/ toby tho'.   i really gotta switch my cellfon plan to 1 w/ limited off peak but w/ peak mins.

sun, brandie drove kaela, me, n' mikey down to san jo to visit ken.   brandie got a new nokia 5180.   we were supposed to pick up 'puter stuff from ted, but that didn't happen.   jerome joined us @ milpitas 99, n' we waited till 900p 4 steve wey to call us 'bout 'puter parts, but it didn't happen.   sucks!   'twas a very relaxing evening tho.   we all loved the warm summer nite's air.   that's what the sobay is all 'bout!   ppl! listen up!   san jo n' the sobay can be a very pleasant place!   why don't we move berkeley down to the sobay? *sigh*

i can't wait till the upcoming snow season!   snow is good.

[later]   u know how kaela wrote in her journal on 12 sept 'bout how her last relationship wasn't a total waste of time cos she learned to appreciate things in life since that relationship was so awful.   well, sometimes i think 'bout my previous relationship, n' i wonder if it was all a waste of time...   it's hard 4 me to regret things in life like that...   how can i take back those yrs of my life n' say i wish i they hadn't been like that.   usually, i'd say those experiences r all part of me n' i can't regret them.   n' i guess that is how i feel, but sometimes i wonder if i could'a had a better college experience if i had never had that relationship...   sometimes i think those days of my life were just way 2 mellow n' settled down, that i should'a been partying it up this n' that.   butchu know?   it wasn't my exgf's fault.   i was stuck in engineering lab all nite, all weekend.   i had to study.   n' i was prob'ly not into partying back then to some extent.   it's just so funny that some college student couples can get so mellow.   like, i know s.mike n' bianca, when they were going out, they were pretty "mellow."   what should i have done differently in my past?   since i hang w/ quite a few younger ppl, i often think 'bout that.   they're going thru phases of life i lived a few yrs back.   they'll encounter some similar experiences as those who r my age now.   like, let's think 'bout when we'll c jerome or joon get into a long term relationship.   (yah, u guys!)   how will their lives be?   some ppl go thru all of hs n' all of college w/o ne long term relationships.   n' some of these ppl r surprisingly normal.   ha ha.   it's just that from when i was hs, i always thought every1'd get into a relationship b4 they got out of hs.   u know, i think my social group back then was very into relationships.   some ppl in college were so surprised to hear how many couples there were in my social group in hs.   s.mike, right b4 his personal rennaissance days, right b4 bianca broke up w/ him, told us that being single is the norm n' being in a relationship is optional.   yah.   don't get into a relationship unless u really like the person...   wait 4 the right person, don't just look to get into a relationship...   we've talked 'bout that.   it's been a while since i heard ppl talk 'bout this kind'a stuff.   r ppl thinking nemore, or r they just letting their lives run on autopilot?

it's wonderful "indian" summer weather 'round here.   but it'll be fall b4 we know it.   the circle goes 'round and 'round.   that sounds depressing...   but it doesn't hafta be.   let's enjoy life, live it up.   i want to cherish the good times, yes.   that's all 4 2day's lecture.   next class, we'll get into actually talking 'bout "the circle game."

last nite dr. ur n' master yoon helped sam n' i hold the 1st ever tryouts 4 the demo team.   it's a pretty exciting thing 4 us.   it's the 1st time we got this organised.   even tho' dr. min keeps mentioning me as the demo guy; i feel really bad cos i feel that, in the past, i failed to get the demo team truly organised.   but i'm very motivated now cos i know master yoon is helping us so much, n' i know that sam n' chals r very motivated to get this show on the road.   it's going to take every1's cooperation, but i feel good 'bout the whole thing.

it's the weekend.   tgif.   ppl r going to koko house 2nite, but i dunno if the beautiful kaela kang n' i'll be going.   maybe, but i dunno...   koko house hasn't been the same experience lately that it used to be.   it used to be a more "cultural" experience; like we'd go n' get typical korean bar fud n' socialise w/ our friends over drinks, but i dunno...   i'm not so sure it'll feel all that fulfilling if i go 2nite.   they don't even serve soondae there nemore!

kang is a more popular last name than hwang in the united states, according to placesnamed.com.   i was surprised.   but u know... it's cos some hwangs r huangs; i c.   lee is the 24th most popular last name...   ok, but "popular," i mean "common,"   it's not that ne1 voted on favourite names.   smith is the 1st most common name, brown the 5th, williams is the 3rd, johnson is 2nd... hrm... i'm finding this all out by typing in these names as guesses...   what do u think is #4?   i dunno.   here's a page 'bout my sister grace.   it's from her old tv station.   nowadays she's doing news reports 4 kpix ch 5.

so yah, a coupl'a ppl actually dropped me a line yesterday from my journal: perry seto n' clara kim.   thanks 4 dropping lines.   if u were more focused, u wouldn't drop things so often.   ha ha.   neway, 2day my underwear is on inside.out.   upes!   i'm 2 lazy to change it; why bother?   i mean, these r boxerbriefs.   if they were normal boxers, i'd probably have known.   i ate a choco powerbar this morning.   4 lunch i went to this blue moon diner in the corte madera mall cos i wanted to go use the versateller @ the mall.   i just wanted to try out that place in the fud ct, that's all; had a turkey burger w/ cole slaw n' fries n' a small diet coke.   it was really filling.   i always gotta tell u what i ate, u know.   yah, last nite i took the beautiful kaela kang to dinner @ tachibana on college.   it's a nice japanese restaurant, altho' i definitely prefer kirala.   originally, we were just cruisin' 4 fud after paying our ucmap reg fees, but i didn't wanna go to party sushi cos they only take cash...   so hrm... kirala?   2 crowded.   ok, tachibana.   i've been there 1nce b4.   it's kind'a overpriced n' stuff, but it's a pleasant place w/ good sushi n' good beef teriyaki; altho' i think kaela thought 'twas 2 rare, the beef.   uhm, why r we always @ long's drugs these days?   i'm gonna make it a pt not to go to long's drugs 2 much...   u understand why, right?   uhm... u know how i feel 'bout making going to target or costco the hilite of my week, right?   yah, well, so i'd rather do something else.   but it's not like we went to the drugstore cos we wanted to, we just had to pick up something, so it was pretty necessary.   neway, there's also often cute doggies parked outside of long's drugs on shattuck.

u know, i really'd like to let some1 post a guest entry 'gain sometime soon.   i really like writing on café chulho, but that's chals's thing.   i neither hafta take it over, nor do i have to imitate it.   my thing is the beno journal.   here, i write 'bout what i ate each day n' how bloated i feel n' how i'm so lost in life. ha ha ha.   *sigh*   i've had bizness cards 4 a while.   it took my company a long time to give me bizness cards cos we changed our name, moved, this n' that.   lemme give u a bizness card!   i've got tons.   i wanna drop them off in fishbowls n' win free lunches everywhere!   even better, i'd like to win free dinners!   yah, carol sed in her journal that dave kim sed on.line journalists don't talk 'bout their weaknesses n' failures.   hrm...   is that true?!   i try to be honest n' open.   also i think i try to be humble.   i think if i don't talk 'bout my weaknesses or failures, it's cos 1) i'd rather not dwell on them, n' 2) well, let's say u had a webpage that had ur professional résumé on it n' potential future employers etc. were stopping by it; wouldju go 'round saying that u'r such a loser?   well, then 'gain, i hope u don't think i lie here to make myself look better cos i don't... trust me.   i try not to censor myself.   but, well... i sed that i've felt sorta restricted in what i write 'round here.   hrm... well, this place, as i always say, serves 1, 2, or more purposes: 1) a historical log 4 my own sake, 2) a place 4 me to write stuff like a newspaper column, 3) an open letter to my friends/family...   i keep saying that.   i wonder which is my most favourite journal entry?   i like some more than others of course... i like re.reading journal entries.   i must be egotistical.   a.ha! there's an admission of a weakness or something like that...   *sigh*   do u think i have low self.esteem or am i overconfident?   just wondering.   n' do i really love myself?   neway, what was i saying?   oh yah, which previous journal entry do i like best?   i dunno.   i like reading the longer entries usually.   i like 1) the 1s where i talk 'bout a topic in depth, like those columnish entries; and 2) the 1s where i can read the entry n' really reminisce 'bout what was going on @ that time in my life.   it's hard 4 me to read the entries where i just babble.   i guess this entry will not be 1 of my favourites when i look back months/yrs from now, huh?   oh well, can't win 'em all!

2nite we'll have the 1st ever demo team tryouts.   this should be good.   i gotta get my butt over to the rsf by 630p to talk to master yoon w/ sam.   sam, now there's some1 to talk 'bout 4 a sec.   i've been to his house in castro valley n' ate dinner there.   he's a nice guy.   uhm... ha ha.   it's not like i know him as "the guy who lives in castro valley n' invited me to dinner 1nce." ha ha ha.   i know him better than that.   i don't know him as well as, say, chals... but i know him n' consider him a friend.   i don't think he reads my journal, but that's ok; he doesn't need to.

u know, i've written a lot more in my journal since me n' kaela started going out. &nsp; it'll be our 8th monthversary next week!

a caper is actually a small flower bud!   i thought 'twas something more like a pepper.   but i knew they rn't spicy.   so that's what it is.   capers r great!   i know some chicken dishes that use capers.   steak tartare n' carpaccio use capers.   wasn't there a movie the great muppet caper?   i think so.   psyduck!   how r u all doing 2day?   please correspond w/ me!   e.mail me, sign my g.book, whatever... send me telepathic msgs.   u can im, icq, or y! msgr me 2.   well, 2day @ werk... werk, werk, werk... i know our boss thinks the engineers rn't werking hard enuf, so he wants us to stick strictly to a set schedule... no more getting to werk @ whatever time...   i know he wants us to werk 800a - 500p, but every1 protested.   but we still hafta write up our set schedule 4 the week.   it does feel very good to get to werk early n' leave early tho'.   i really wouldn't mind doing 800a - 500p, i guess...   i used to werk 700a - 430p every day @ ebmud, n' i'd skip every other fri.   u know the story.

2day there were some mtgs @ our office in the conf room in the "engineering suite."   a few of us engineers weren't really @ these mtgs, not really invited to the mtgs, but we really wanted in on the fud 4 the mtgs.   we waited n' waited to c if they'd offer us some.   but they didn't.   so after a long while, we just helped ourselves, but it was really funny.   it was almost like we were daring each other to be the 1st to take a sandwich.   man, oh man...   but we also knew it looked bad 4 us in light of how we're sorta being scapegoated right now...   *sigh*

it really does feel good to chat w/ ppl 'bout life, even if it's 4 a short while, like on a drive home from taekwondo practice.   sometimes sittin' in a car n' chatting is great.

so 2day @ werk we tested out some motion control equipment.   it really reminded me of me135 (or more like me134 [091400]) lab.   that felt good.   i like that feeling.   the only diff is this 800a - 500p schedule.   in me135, we'd more likely werk 800p - 500a!

i got to werk pretty much just in time 2day.   i've had a pretty bizzy day @ werk.   u know what, tho?   the boss wants every1 to werk 800a to 500p now.   *sigh*   b4 ppl had semiflexible hours.   already 1 guy quit cos of this policy, i heard.   *sigh*   i got to get to werk @ 800a?   i used to werk 700a to 430a @ ebmud, n' i'd take every other fri off.

yah, as the beautiful kaela kang sed in her journal, we ran into helen @ the pharmacy last nite.   ha ha, funny.   if only helen'd mention it in her on.line journal.   there's stuff i'd want to write in my journal, but u know?   sometimes i feel restricted.   i've been writing a lot on cafe chulho lately.   i feel like there's an s.o.p. (standard operating procedure) here where i gotta rattle of everything i do.   yah, 'member how i sed i wanted to do more creative writing 'gain?   well, i dunno...   imagine these short conversations overheard @ a meatmarket party:

woman to man: i'm so glad i can talk to u.   i get so nervous when i'm talking to guys who i'm actually attracted to, but i feel so com4table w/ u!!!! [smile]

'nother man to 'nother woman: so i started buying size 30 underwear cos my waist is so trim, but dang! they sure don't leave much room 4 my crotch! it makes it so hard to whip it out when i gotta go wee wee!

do they still have "short conversations" in the heuristic squelch.   i liked those.   ok, well, it's time to get out of here.   i might as well hurry home n' take a nap.   gotta sleep sometime, u know?

2day i had to wake up early cos the engineers @ my office headed down to san jo 4 a mtg w/ our consultants.   2morrow, i gotta get to werk b4 800a, boss's orders.   went to san jo, had mtg, ate lots'a bad.4.me pizza @ lunch, came home, did pullups n' pushups, started cd.r drive burning a bunch'a korean musik videos to clear my hard drive, took the beautiful kaela kang to sa wooei #2, n' now i'm @ kaela's place doing this journal entry as well as posting on cafe chulho.   thanks jasmine, 4 reading my journal n' sending me that comment on "mr. wong's yellow fever."   it's good to do pushups n' pullups.   i've been pretty diligent 'bout that, n' i should keep it up.   ok, tummy ache.   over n' out.

so i haven't written in a while.   thurs, practice went well.   it was fun.   then a whole mess of us ate @ the asian fud ghetto.   fri nite, the beautiful kaela kang n' i went over to jerome's to have dinner w/ jerome, joon, christina lee (from san jo n' my home church... teresa's li'l sis), jane lo, wendy, n' angela.   'twas a good dinner, n' we played ddr, n' i finally got to burning the final produkt of benomix3 w/ jerome's help.   it's ready.   i just need a cover.   i wish i had thought of this earlier, but i dunno... i just thought of the musik, not the image.   after dinner n' ddr, we met up w/ laura, jasmine, elley, n' her bf harry @ fenton's.   ting also came n' met us there.   we were s'pposed to go noraebang, but we didn't.   n' peter tsai was s'pposed to join us but he didn't.   the nite ended pretty early; but we had some good conversations.

sat, kaela n' i watched hardboiled n' totoro.   we ate a mish mash of leftovers n' veggies.   later, we went w/ chals to pyuhng chang soondooboo.   then we joined jerome, joon, mikey, deanna, n' brandie to watch the house on haunted hill on tape.   kaela didn't wanna watch, so she stayed in her room.   it got so hokey @ the end neway, but it was ok in some parts.   i was so sleepy by the end of the nite.   i've been really sleepy lately.

sun, 2day we had the albany housewarming potluck.   i made guacamole.   lots'a ppl came.   this afternoon, kaela cut my hair.   life is pretty good.   i was writing on cafe chulho 'bout what i'm happy 'bout n' what i wanna change in my life.   i wanna be happy.   i know that some things just take time, n' i can't rush them.   i'm glad i talked to greg yim n' his wife kiyomi last week.   they reassured me 'bout that, that some things just take time.   it's true.   b4 i know it, i'll be 30 or something.   but then will i feel accomplished, or will i feel like a loser?   *sigh*   who's gonna be the judge of that, huh?   what a strange, awkward period in life it is.   it's like being 12 'gain.   ha!   well, really... altho' middle skool n' puberty was an awkward time of life... man, it was fun, in some ways... so i guess i'll just have fun.   i don't need the pressure!

i got my teeth cleaned yesterday.   i only werked 0.5 day.   the beautiful kaela kang took me to lunch @ pho que huong on center.   i got to walk 'round in the warm sun on the berkeley campus.   then i got my teeth cleaned.   they feel so much better now.   then i picked kaela up n' we 99ed, n' i took her to katana-ya ramen on san pablo.   then we went back to her place 4 a bit.   i fell asleep on the floor.   then we went to long's drugs where i bought us some various things.   there was a drug bust going on in the parking lot.   sore throat bad.   soup noodles combat cold.

children of the depression

that sounds like a kewl name 4 a industrial or goth band, huh?   hrm...   yah or no?   don't agree w/ me just cos...   give me ur honest opinion.   i don't want saccharine smiles from my friends.   i reserve those 4 ppl i don't like.   a li'l bit of sincerity can go a long way.   sincerity goes hand in hand w/ vulnerability.   get right w/ me, my brutha.   some ppl won't truly accept u if u won't admit u need to be accepted.   "cool kids never have the time," they used to say.   they used to preach 'gainst being a go getter; there was a whole generation named x, proud to be slackers.   "reality bites," they sed.   what should they have sed?   they were in the middle of the great depression of the early 1990s.   n' yet they were young n' should'a been taking their bite of the world.   were they really that bad?   tsss... no, many gen x.ers were go getters.   just cos kurt cobain killed himself doesn't mean everything of that generation was lost!

butchu know?   me n' my homies, we ain't gen x.   n' we r not really generation y.   we 2 grew up in the midst of the great depression.   we didn't have cell fons when we were in college.   well, most of us didn't; it was still something some ppl had n' some ppl didn't.   yet we didn't go thru college w/o internet.   uclink was born my freshman yr.   ppl learned quickly.   but internet is free... was free.   u didn't pay 4 dsl; u used ur 2400 baud modem to dial in.   in those days, ppl were still flying the flannel cos grunge was still in ("westside till i die!"   those westside rappers dressed like that 2), n' u still didn't wanna look rich.   "funky chic" is that term i learned while studying 60s pop culture.   s'pposedly, the 60s was the 1st time ppl wanted to dress down, to look like they had no money.   i saw that idea get caplitalised upon in the 90s, sure! used flannels 4 $50.   i never wasted money on that kind'a crap.

i feel stuck in between x n' y.   supermike 1st talked to me 'bout the idea of "generation y," n' he sed we're generation y.   but if we're generation y then who r those kids who grew up w/ internet throuhgout high skool?   i'd call them generation i.   but i've looked 'round; there's a precedent n' standard already set.   generation y is in their teens n' maybe early 20s now.   how can ne1 be lost in between generations?   that makes no sense...   r ppl only born @ the beginnings of decades?   hrm... do other ppl born in 1975 identify w/ gen x or gen y? or r they 2 bizzy werking 4 their internet start.up companies to care?   i guess that's it.   so i should just werk hard n' keep my blinders on.

but this weekend, i got out.   'twas a labour day holiday weekend, n' i ventured into that big city they called sf.   on sat, the beautiful kaela kang n' i went w/ joon n' jerome to sf to shop in downtown, to browse thru n' eat in j.town, n' to watch highlander: endgame @ j.town's amc kabuki.   shopped, i sed: stuff cmed kind'a expensive to me; everywhere.   shiny jeans n' shiny shirts cmed kind'a overpriced.   $30 4 an important japanese magazine 'bout souped up foresters cmed kind'a expensive to me.   but then, u know what?   i've realised something.   inflation happens.   inflation happens; n' ppl have money now cos we rn't in that great depression of the early 90s.   ppl buy n' sell stock n' make money just like alex keaton did in the early 80s.   i c, so that's how it is these days.   so shouldn't i be making more?   more what?   more money!   money is the root of all evil.   money is evil.   shouldn't i be making more evil?

fri nite: joon, kaela, n' i ate @ shogun buffet on university, a korean sushi/bbq/hotpot place... basically a korean version of hotpot city, but smaller.   we ought to go to a hotboxcity or heavenly hot sometime soon.   i'd like ppl to try heavenly hot on geary.   i had never been to shogun b4.   i had been to hana sushi that was there in its place back in my days.   after pigging out, we went to burokbusuto n' rented the whole nine yards, n' chasing amy.   i love chasing amy, n' i wanted kaela to c it.   we went to the albany place n' watched the movies w/ brandie n' laura... n' marissa n' her li'l sister also watched.   yah, it cmed kind'a bad to let a li'l kid listen to all that foul language, right?   oh well...   sat: we went n' did all that sf stuff i talked 'bout earlier.   sf shopping was so crowded!   we ran into erin n' her sister by br, where we parked.   i bought a jamba juice in the fud ct below macy's.   that fud ct reminds me of walking in the basement fud ct of lotteworld last summer.   we ate @ mifune in j.town.   it's a good sobahouse.   we watched highlander, which was interesting to me cos of 1) donnie yen n' his martial arts n' 2) my past interest in playing mud n' dungeons n' dragons, etc.   sun: i luncheoned w/ my old ebmud supervisor/mentor greg yim n' his wife kiyomi @ the solano barney's.   that was really fun n' a very enriching experience 4 me.   they really helped me think 'bout my future.   we mostly talked 'bout my career n' career path, but we also talked 'bout other things.   *sigh*   yah, i've got choice to make w/ my life.   i really do.   *sigh*   neway, sun nite...   hrm, kaela n' pretty much stayed home, cleaned up stuff 'gain, n' watched the telly.   we saw my sista on the kpix news @ 1100p.   that was kewl.

mon was labour day:   we were s'pposed to go to great america, but that didn't werk out.   so i took kaela to monterey.   we had a bomb@$$ time.   i took her to the aquarium, n' she bought me a cute penguin chick.   i felt really peaceful in the aquarium.   *sigh*   wouldn't life as a marine biologist be grand?   yah, who becomes research scientists?   well, i mean, i know plenty of mcb biologists, but what 'bout marine biologists n' geologists?   how come i don't think i know ne1 who went on to do jobs like that?   i dunno.   i really want to be on some big boat in the middle of the ocean someday.   i wish i could take a transocean ride like on the titanic... but i wouldn't want my ship to sink.   i wanna look in all directions n' not c ne land.   then i wanna go to sleep, wake up the next day, n' still not c ne land.   i'd like to be in a submarine n' c squid swim by.   i'd like to take motorcycle riding classes.   underwater motorcycle riding classes in the deep sea w/ lots'a squid swimming by!   will beno ever be satisfied?   but i'm happy.   my entry title might have "depression" in it, but i'm not depressed.   i'm very happy.   i'm happy that kaela's w/ me.   i think 'bout her, n' i'm really happy to have such a wonderful gf.   toby called me yesterday, but i didn't get his call, just his v.mail.   his v.mail was all staticky.   he was driving back from sacto.   after eating @ bubba gump's n' walkin' 'round cannery row a li'l, we drove back up the 1 cross 92 to 880/980/24 to get home.   we went over to chals's to pick up totoro n' we stayed to chat w/ chals n' sandy.

2nite is the beginning of the fall 2000 taekwondo semester.   mtg 2nite @ 600p.   we're s'pposed to have a casual get2gether @ kip's afterwards 2.

i figured i'd comment on icebox.com's mr. wong series.   laura fwded me an e.mail asking ppl to voice up 'gainst mr. wong.   laura admitted that she's never cn the on.line series but was fwding the e.mail to let us know of its existence n' give us the opportunity to c it 4 ourselves n' come to our own conclusions on if it's racist or not.   well, after my caffeine hangover day of werk, i went to the beautiful kaela kang's home, n' we viewed the series on her superfast 'puter.   well, we watched it.   u know, it is pretty comical...   it really pokes fun @ lots of diff areas of life n' american society.   it mocks the elite rich by having that debutante, spoiled gurl.   it sorta, in general, mocks the conservative views n' lifestyle of 1950s america.   but yah, mr. wong is this disgusting caricature.   he speaks w/ this unrealistically ridiculous cantonese accent.   i guess it's the same guy that did "combo no. 5."   i know some asian.american media ppl were very pissed 'bout "combo no. 5," n' it was recorded by an actual asian.american...   but so many asian.american entertainers do a big disservice to their community n' heritage.   it happens all the time.   if only all asian.american entertainers had that mission statement that b.d. wong wrote 4 himself, saying he'd only take on roles that positively affect the asian.american community.   that's kewl.

neway, mr. wong, the character, is really disgusting...   sorta like a mutated version of mr. burns or something... he's all frail, hunchbacked, weak, etc.   so this series has a negative portrayal of an asian.   he's not a bad guy; in fact, he's mostly the protagonist n' mostly benevolent; but in that "i feel so sorry 4 the weak guy" kind'a way...   viewer's feel sorry 4 weak, helpless mr. wong, while they'd relate more to that debutante gurl.   she's the norm.

well, 'member when muts sed that this is how american media does its thing: the white female is the highest on the ethnogender value spectrum.   the white male is the norm on it.   the black race is supermasculine; n' the asian race is superfeminine.   so black women n' asian males get the diss, while asian women n' black males get exalted.   that's the way muts tells the story, n' i think that's the way they tell it in berkeley's asian.am classes, n' i guess that's the way american media really is.   'member when i discussed the stereotype of the asian martial artist w/ phil?   back then, phil had yet to take a single taekwondo class.   he sed, tho', that he didn't mind the stereotype cos it's actually positive.   he alluded to a black male who called into the lovelines radio show n' complained 'bout the stereotype of black males having big penises.   dr. love, or whatever he's called (not dr. drew.. this was on kroq or kome, i 4get which.), asked, 'why r u complaining?! it's a good stereotype... 'least it benefits u!"   hrm...   yah, true.   it's funny that b4 i did taekwondo, i sed that 1 misconception americans might have of me is that they'd assume i did martial arts just cos i'm asian, but i didn't...   ha!   well, it's not a misconception much now, is it?

so mr. wong has 1 very bad portrayal of an asian, but it also has 1 very good portrayal of a south asian!   the indian doctor is portrayed as very handsome n' sexy.   south asians r asians 2, right?   some ppl'd say indians r part of the indo.aryan race; some'd say india is on the asian continent, there4 (3 dot symbol) indians r asians.   think... apu.   is he a good or bad 4 asian.america.   sometimes apu is just 'nother farcical minority american character.   'member when he n' his bro sanjay were dancing n' yelling cos they had some good 4tune doing something?   it really mocked south asian culture.   but apu also represents the south asian.american population.   he's south asian, n' he's very present in the simpsons.   u can't deny the existence of a southasian.american population or community.   his wife manjula is portrayed as very sexy; so she's perhaps a very positive south asian character.   i keep saying "south asian;" so r indians asians or not?!   in some particular pts of space n' time, pilipino americans have declared that they r not yellow asians but brown latino/asians.   whoa, what can u say to that?   as i know it, there or pinoy/pinay, tisoy (chinese), n' mixed ethnicity ppl in da pinas.   i think pilipinos r definitely asians.   some ppl, when they think of asian races, only think of cjk, chinese/japanese/korean.   i'll tell u, tho'; i feel the most influenced by this particular cultural triad, yet i don't wanna say cjk r the only asian races or the only important asian races.   these 3 r very linked, tho'.   uh, but hold up, hold up, hold up!   beno's not s'pposed to call himself "chinese" @ all... taiwanese!   ok... 4 all political purposes i'm "taiwanese," but in the whole scheme of things, u know i support the asian panethnicity, so i'll definitely accept being called "chinese" in certain contexts.   there's way 2 much division amongst the asian race already n' the chinese (umbrella term) community doesn't help it @ all by rein4cing differences btwn their subcultures.   but taiwanese'd say that they've got some chinese influence, but they've also got much japanese influence.   true dat, wouldn'tchu say?   why does my grandpa speak fluent japanese?   that's the language in which he chats w/ some of his friends; it's not just some interest or hobby; he really speaks japanese.   american scholars cm to be pissed by stuff like this.   i think it confuses americans.   'why does this taiwanese man speak japanese?   why does this chinese guy speak korean?   the world's not s'pposed to be like that?   aaaaaah!!!!'

chals is gonna visit his grandparents in az.   it's a nonavg family arrangement, n' his grandma is 0.5 kr n' 0.5 jp, while his grandpa (non.biological) is caucasian.   c, chals, u n' i both have a bit of white in us!   u know, biologically we have some racial categorisation.   culturally, we have 'nother.   u've got race, nationality, ethnicity, culture, cultural background, nation of origin, heritage, ancestry, breed, language...   it's pretty complex, huh?

neway, so is mr. wong a good thing or bad thing?   aw, c'mon... didju really think i'd come to a conclusion like that?   hrm... i support a militant asian.american uprising movement.   african.americans didn't get where they r 2day w/o a fight.   u saw how they edited out the "sideshow raheem" clip from the "i love lisa" episode?   it appears in the retailed video tape, but not the aired rerun!   how is it offensive?   krusty is s'pposed to whack sideshow raheem w/ a bat n' abuse him like he does w/ all his other sidekicks (bob n' mel).   but raheem sez something like "i wouldn't!"   n' krusty stops.   so it sorta lightheartedly mocks the militant black movement of the late 60s / 70s, right?   well, looks like some1 got offended cos it got edited out.   or did some1 just think 'twasn't funny?   of course u know that this reference hits 2 issues @ 1nce, (i don't like to kill burdies.): 1) the 60s/70s militant black movement did some good to improve the quality of life 4 some african.americans. 2) racial stereotypes offend ppl, n' stuff gets edited out.   militant activism 4 the asian.american community is good.   militant yellow trash?   uh, not so good.

censorship:   so we've got mr. wong, "combo no. 5," n' then the bloodhound gang's "yellow fever," the song that portrays asian women as helpless, exoticised sextoys.   altho' i don't think there was enuf outrage over "yellow fever," i think that offended asian.americans have suceeded in keeping the bloodhound gang's popularity kind'a down, u know?   yah, n' it serves them right.   i'm not stoopid tho'; i do know that the bloodhound gang's lyrics, in general, don't mean to target ne 1 specific group, but they intend to offend every1, not leave ne1 out; n' no 1's s'pposed to take them seriously.   c, but in supporting a strong asian.american uprising mvmnt, i'd hafta say, "yah, that's all fine n' dandy, but oh well... sorry, maybe u shouldn't mess w/ asians."   check out modelminority.com, n' their article.   u can read the lyrics there.   in a way they rn't offensive cos they're just so plain silly n' nonsensical.   it's like, u can tell it's not like they really hate asians or nething, but they intended to write a piece that almost satirizes racism.   but i dunno.   i c laziness in this idea.   it's not a well.thought out idea.   i c plenty of stoopidity on the part of the bloodhound gang.   u know, alhtho' i fail to c a true werk of racial hatred n' genocidal tendencies in this composition, i do c a lack of respect 4 the asian community.   c, that's where the mistake is.   there hasta be that irrationally militant sector who makes every1 think 2ice 'bout saying "nigga" no matter what the context.

so the bloodhound gang expresses some opinions on asian women.   i heard of some hip hop group called azn pride or something.   i 'member reading some of their lyrics, "who got the women..."   i think they're praising asian women, saying that the asian race has the bomb.a$$est women, u know?   u know, that's good to hear.   sometimes in the ethnogender arena, it cms like somehow asian men n' asian women have been pitted against each other.   it shouldn't be like that.   unity.

free wenho lee!   we had all the "free mumia" stuff, all the overabundant "free tibet" stuff.   why isn't there "free wenho lee" stuff?   cos he be an asian man, that's why!   ha ha.   do i say that in gest?   i think it's funny to say, n' it's funny cos it's true.   asian.americans should vote gore/liebermann, as the apc sez.   how much does the republican party benefit asian.americans?   well, u got republicans like matt fong n' ed park.   ask them.   why did peru manage to get an asian president b4 the united states?

my sistah's gonna be on the kpix ch5 news sat, sun, n' mon.   look 4 her!   here's a shout out to perry seto 4 checkin' out our websites!   n' he sez he does it regularly.   keep it real, perry!   u show 'em where it's @!   if u 'member, during my 2nd dan test, i had 2 2.on.1 spar w/ perry n' frank choy or berkeley, n' my mom was so freaked!   the guy w/ the moustache, that's perry.   he does a lot 4 the taekwondo program @ cal, that's perry.

last nite, kaela n' i went to costco to pic up pics; beautiful kaelapics.   i gotta resume posting pics on my website; but i dunno... r ppl looking @ pics on my website?   maybe they ain't cos i ain't postin' no new pics!   o i c.   ok, well, maybe someday soon.   after costco, we moved kaela's halogen lamp into my room.   we really cleaned my room up!!!   i dunno...   i felt so depressed n' happy all @ 1nce last nite.   i've been really moody lately.   do u think it's some adverse side affect from sobe?   then chals n' joon came over n' kicked it.   (kicked what?)   they wanted me to take them to safeway, but we ended up jes' chillin'.   we played guitar n' sang praise songs.   hrm...   yah, it was a bit of a flashback, but that's what we did.   i was very happy to kick it w/ chals n' joon.   (i asked, 'kicked what/?!?!?!')   now it's friday.

i don't drink coffee often @ all.   2day, i drank a cup of joe, a diet pepsi, n' an md.   i want to be more energetic during werk mtgs.   caffeine gives me a buzz, n' now i have a really bad hangover.   on tues, the beautiful kaela kang gave me a soundblaster live! platinum as a 7 month anniversary present or a b.day present; i'm not sure which.   i wanted 1.   i almost ruined it by buying it myself, but i was gonna try to get it via ken 1st; n' kaela told ken not to let me get it.   also that nite, i got to hang w/ chals @ my place.   kaela cooked up some beanie weanie w/ veggies.   i'm glad i got to ketchup w/ chals.   nice to hear from him.   so yesterday, kaela n' i skipped practice.   i was so tired after werk, but i decided, instead of napping, to try to stay awake till 'bout midnite, then to crash hard, fast asleep.   i installed the soundblaster live! platinum, n' tried to solve that cd.r prob.   tried.   i really need more diskspace.   i stayed up much later than i planned n' was so tired.   well, i'm tired now.   caffeine crash/hangover.   i feel so hopeless 'bout what i'm gonna do this evening.   i feel so tired n' drained.   i wish i could go to the rsf n' either practice or exercise in other ways, but... *sigh* yah, i feel so hopelessly tired.   i ate fattening pizza 4 lunch.   i think we'll go to costco to pick up pics.   man, i do feel so drained tho'...   man, i'm gonna turn into a regular werking guy, all fat n' lazy...

2day i wore fall colours.   labour day is next mon, so i'm premature, but why not?   it rained in corte madera 2day.   the preview to the weather report on last nite's news mentioned rain.   i missed the actual report, but i assumed they wouldn't say in the preview, "sunshine to rain in the bay area?   the weather report right after these messages," n' then say in the actual weather report, "sunshine to rain in the bay area?   pshaw, 'course not!   expect a record heat wave starting 2morrow."   i trusted them.   so i wore long sleeves.   "i grow old. . . i grow old. . . i shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled."   kaela thought i was dressing nicely, but i was just dressing to keep warm.   i loaned her my yellow umbrella i bought on my b.day in korea last yr.   i wonder if she used it.   maybe 'twas sunny in b.town 2day, i dunno.

after werk yesterday, i swung by costco to drop off some film.   costco was bizzy as usual, but i just had to drop off that film.   i think maybe a lot of students were stocking up 4 the semester.   i picked up the beautiful kaela kang from the oxford starbucks.   i was hungry.   we parked @ a nice space on durant.   i stopped by wall berlin to pick up a berrypeach scone n' use their potty.   then we shopped @ octopus.   yeh, kewl stuff... but "do i dare eat a peach?"   i'm not sure what's trendy n' what's me.   sharon kim saw kaela there n' they talked.   then kaela called me over to say hi, n' i totally didn't recognise her @ 1st.   upes! but i guess kaela knows her from mcb stuff 2, so i'm not that 4getful...   it'd be kewl if she'd give us "hookups" @ octo; $#!+'s 2 expensive there...   we went to urban after that.   eh, most of the guys' stuff was way 2 subdued 4 me; 2 much of the poet, neobeatnik stuff.   i much preferred the stuff @ octo.   kaela saw some cute baby tees w/ cute animals embroidered onto them, but she thought the shirt was 2 tight.   tss, she's so slim, she shouldn't worry 'bout that, i think.   but it's ok.   the shirt was aqua, n' i notice more aqua these days.   then we went home n' cooked jjajangmyuhn.   i had to run out to andronico's to pick up some groceries that we lacked.   man! andronico's is a rip.   frickin' 59¢ a bunch.   dude! it's like 3/99¢ @ 99!   neway, i bought a bunch'a andronico's stoopid sexy vegetables n' hurried back.   we chopped meat... oh yah! we made chicken jjajangmyuhn!   healthier, right?   well, kaela cut her finger cutting veggies, so after we bandaged her up, i told her to rest in front of the telly, n' i'd finish.   i stirred, stirred, n' it was time to put in the sauce.   u know, i was tempted to put in corn starch like in the taiwanese jiajiangmien that my mom taught me to make, but then i realised that the potatoes give the sauce enuf starch.   we made tons of jjajangmyuhn, n' we have tons of leftovers.   i ate some 4 lunch 2day.   we watched the rest of the simpsons tapes that toby gave me.   later, i talked to chals.   i like to hear from chals.

we missed practice.   we semi.missed it, n' semi.boycotted it, honestly...   we knew there'd be a team mtg.   it's not that we don't want to support the team, but we don't know what our places r there.   i'm not eligible to compete 4 collegiates.   kaela's bizzy n' is a 1st keub.   do ppl want me to devote all my time 2ward fundraising 4 the team?   what 'bout my taekwondo priorities, i.e. demo team!   demo team shouldn't hafta take a backseat nemore!   some ppl werk damn hard to put on good demos here @ cal.   i really dream of the day that cal can say they have a world class demo team, the day when ppl'll say that we've got the only demo team worth cing in amerika.   those r my hopes n' dreams or aspirations.   so i don't c why i shouldn't be allowed to pursue it.   frick, it cost $150 a semester now to take taekwondo @ cal.   @ private studios, black belts often don't pay @ all.   here, black belts pay just as much, n' they're expected to do more volunteer werk.   i'm not totally 'gainst the system, n' i don't want to disrespect the institution that taught me almost all i know 'bout taekwondo.   i accept responsibility n' try to take initiative, try to take leadership positions.   why would ne1 want to be a leader in ne club?   cos u care 'bout the club, cos u've been 'round n' know the ropes, cos u'r a brownnoser, cos u have power power power...   it's really stressful sometimes, so why would i want to be a leader 'round the taekwondo club n' ucmap?   well, yah, i care.   i feel very grateful 4 my taekwondo instructors n' the program 4 teaching me all this taekwondo n' 4 giving me a healthier lifestyle physically, mentally, psychologically...   yeh, it's almost spiritual, but no... i'm no cult member.   i have religious beliefs, n' altho' taekwondo has enriched my life, it doesn't save my soul.

a coupl'a nites 'go as i was waiting 4 an updated version of the 1 track version of benomix3 to burn, i played guitar n' sang 4 kaela.   i played church worship songs!   she's never heard me play/sing this kind'a stuff, yet she knows i was 1nce a worship team leader @ my home church, that i played guitar 4 iv small group fellowships, n' this n' that...   n' she knows these songs from when she went to church, n' she knows how it is.   but she's never combined me w/ these religious experiences.   well, now she's cn/heard.

i had to burn 'nother "1 track version" of benomix3 cos i still can't get my plextor to burn in disc@1nce mode!   i've pondered buying a cheap ide burner 4 kaela's 'puter.   i burned 2 discs last nite 2: 1) a disc of various gayo mp3s n' 2) baby v.o.x. 4.   baby v.o.x., some gurly gurly group, right?   5 li'l gurls... it's like a mini choir or something...   but somehow the hiphoppish beats in their musik catch onto me.   it's like, i know they might have 0 talent, but whoever programs their musik does a good job... that's all.   i'm running very low on cdrs now, cos i'm wasting so many discs trying to get benomix3 to burn right.   n' these r brand name tdk discs!   i need to get more.

so the baby pigeons have all grown up n' flown away.   isn't that crazy.   now all i got is a big, big dung pile!

[later]   i 4got to mention that yesterday, on telly n' durant, we saw bernard kerry huang, the other bernard hw/uang!   so i introduced him to kaela.   he's moving back home to san jo to study cs.   he went to leland hs w/ me n' followed me to cal.   they call him "berny," n' me... uh... "beno," as u might know.   wow, i've been running into ppl lately.   on sun, in macy's, i saw tushar, vince's old roommate.   we saw jin choi outside of isobune on sat nite.   man, sorry to put all u guys after the burdy dung!

i woke up on sat so optimistic, so motivated.   i felt so refreshed n' ready to take on the world.   i admit: i have been very moody lately.   on fri nite, joon, jerome, the beautiful kaela kang, n' i went to berkel berkel 4 dinner.   i used to avoid that place 'lot cos i didn't think it was 2 good.   i know josh took jerome there a lot, so now jerome's a big fan of berkel berkel.   cos jerome likes it, it makes the likelihood that we'll end up there a li'l higher.   u know, in the past, the only kalbi restaurants i went to were koryo sootbool n' sam won... oh, n' of course brothers!   but jerome n' brandie's influences have gotten me to go to berkel berkel, goryo (upes, i mean, "koryo...") boonshik n' shikdorak. (upes, i mean "shik do rock.")   neway, berkel berkel isn't all that bad... ha ha. it's not that jerome has bad taste! 'course not!   b4 jerome's influence re: berkel berkel; i went there 1nce w/ owen, n' we ordered lots'a sushi.   as long as we're patronising the berkely telly ave korean joints, we might as well go to beariyaki sometime, hey?   we went back to my place, n' deanna, mike, n' darlene came over.   we were s'pposed to watch some of the chow yun fat tapes that sam, chals, n' sung gave me 4 my b.day.   we were to watch the videos as kaela n' i did laundry.   we didn't get to finish our laundry there cos some1 took all the dryers, so we brought our wet laundry out to albany to dry it @ brandie n' kaela's.   while clothes dried, we bought groceries @ albany safeway.

so sat morning, i woke up all ready to go rafting.   we hurried our butts to warren hall, where 4 busses waited!   wow!   the skool of public health really treats its students well, i c.   i met kaela's friend maria n' her bf alex.   kaela n' i fell asleep on the ride up to sacto.   well, we got up there.   nice weather!   we put on sunscreen n' stuff.   so 8-9 ppl got into each raft, which was designed 4 up to 12 ppl.   they rented more rafts than they needed 4 the 100 or so ppl.   it was so relaxing.   i thought we were going "whitewater" rafting, but apparently we were just going rafting.   the river was so calm!   the excitement was from waterfights.   but that's all good; the trip was relaxing.   i got to wear my swim trunks... the excessive 3rd pair that i own, the 1s i bought @ j.crew down south cos i needed a pair 2 swim in kaela's pool cos i couldn't skinny dip there.   u know, i had never cn so many out.of.shape guys take off their shirts.   it cms like most nonbuff/cut guys'd rather keep their shirts on most everywhere else i go.   well, 'twas a fun time.   we went back to the bus when we were thru.   we were so thirsty, n' coincidentally, we saw a bunch of korean markets in the strip mall that the busses were waiting 4 us.   weird, huh?   in the middle of what cmed to be a semi boonies suburb... well, the city is rancho cordova, n' we don't know much 'bout it.   so we went n' bought drinks n' fell asleep on the ride home.   we were 2 tired to go to avaron w/ the crew, so i took kaela out to dinner @ isobune in j.town.   we ordered all the good stuff!   we i wanted to show her my neighbour totoro on video, but i guess i lent the tape out to chals.   we had to go back out from my apt to reel video, but they were closed, so we went to burokbusuto, where we rented dogma altho' i 4got the 2.4.1 coupon.   nuts; but dogma's an awesome movie.   i wanted to show her chasing amy instead, but it was out.   i want to show p. crew my life as a dog cos it's so hilarious.   my dad brought me to c that movie @ camera 3 in san jo.   i worry that my credibility w/ foreign, artsyfartsy flicks was blown away thanks to romance n' irma vep.   but really!   my life as a dog is hilarious n'll make u miss supermike's conversations.

sun, we shopped in sf.   i was looking more 4 funky stuff.   'course there was kewl stuff @ rolo, but it's not like i should sell my stock to buy a pair of pants, u know?   didja notice that shiny jeans r the thing now?   i bought kaela some things cos she's such a hot babe, n' she makes stuff look good.   i got her a jacket @ guess? n' a backless halter there 2.   we shopped a while, but i wanted shop more.   'member shopping makes me happy.   but i was really stressed n' frazzled from driving.   as i sed, i've been moody.   so kaela took me to dinner @ the fancy restaurant prego on union st. in sf.   i got to have carpaccio!   we had a nice dinner there.   then 'twas back to the east bay to get kaela ready 4 the 1st day of skool.

so it's the 1st day of skool @ cal.   the news'll talk 'bout that.   i saw a news van on campus.   so many skool yrs now have started n' ended sans beno.   it almost doesn't affect me nemore.   it's just that kaela n' toby r in grad skool, n' all these kids r still in skool.   i'm so used to skool going on w/o me now tho'...   it used to feel so weird, but i've come to accept it.

i was so exhausted, tired, stressed, depressed, n' sleepy when i got home from werk yesterday.   i took a nap @ home while the beautiful kaela kang watched tv.   i missed taekwondo practice.   when i woke up, i told kaela i'd take her to ben n' jerry's.   we tried.   we also brought 'long my li'l tv to watch the simpsons.   we saw chals, brandie, n' jerome on the curbside in front of the rsf.   we got to b n' j's, n' thought we had gotten there right b4 they closed... then they closed as we pulled into our parking spot right in front of the store.   *sigh*   but then i drove us to party safeway to buy pints of b n' j's to go.   i chose popcorn n' peanuts, n' kaela chose monkey wrench.   yummy stuff, i tell u!   popcorn n' peanuts, an interesting idea, i thought.   but man! whoa, it's really fattening!   i think 1 serving's got 69% of ur usrda of sat fat! *sigh* it's got white chocofudge covered caramel corn n' choco covered peanuts in vanilla aisukuriimu w/ caramel swirl.   whoa, huh?   dang.   can i drown my sorrows in aisukuriimu?   i wasn't that depressed, was i?   when i woke up, i talked to kaela 'bout all my anxieties 'bout career n' life, etc.   that helped.   n' i found the picture i clipped out of the newspaper i found @ the rsf, the pic of a doggy holding a big, driftwood branch in his mouth on an sf beach.   i think it's very cute.   someday... doggy.

hrm... it cms like i've been sorta moody lately, huh?   i've talked lately 'bout how i do miss doing stuff, activities...   like, a yr 'go, the group had more activities... we went to great america, we'd go to movies, we'd do stuff like paintballing... well, that was longer 'go...   but we'd be a li'l more active n' adventurous.   we live in the bay area, n' there's such a variety of things to do; we should do them...   neway, that's just 1 thought i've had lately.   i've been trying to get my plextor cd.r to record zero pre.gap cds, i.e. benomix3.   well, i've got some aspi prob.   remind me to reupdate my aspi layer when i get home.   i know it checks out ok w/ aspichk.exe, but maybe there's something messed up.   something's preventing me from recording in disk@once mode.   i had a 2 part lunch 2day: 1st cantaloupe, then 2 veggie corndogs later on.   so i heard the calapalooza demo got skrewed up, n' taekwondo didn't do their demo.   still, i really appreciate all the help from taekwondo ppl, 'specially chals n' sam 4 organising the whole thing.   man, it's a predicament tho', the ucmap demo n' taekwondo demo team situation.   *sigh*   well, i'd like to help, n' do stuff, whatever i can...   i need to know 4 sure what my role is 'round here tho'.

i still have jocelyn's dj miko cd.   i'll return it.   i really will.   i just keep thinking i'll copy it b4 i return it, but i never copy it.   a short clip of it appears on benomix3.   well, i'm 25 as of mon.   i wanna thank all who came to party/celebrate on sun n' especially thank kaela cos she did so much!   wow... i haven't written here in a while.   well, i dunno if i can even begin to recap everything, so i'll just talk, i guess.   fri nite, i stayed home.   weird, huh?   it'd been a tuff day @ werk to top off a long week of werk n' werking out.   kaela n' i were pretty good 'bout practicing regularly throughout last week.   i think a m-th evening werkout schedule is fine.   it's nice to go out n' play on fri nite.   neway, we didn't go out n' play, we stayed home.   the whole week, kaela n' i also started up this cooking thing; we started cooking 'gain.   i made chicken cacciatore 1 nite... uh, we made some grilled chicken boboli pizzas 'nother nite... fri nite, kaela made mabo tofu w/ chicken n' shrooms inside.   i finished up editting benomix3.   now i had to find a way to record it properly.   well, i'm still, as they say, "s-o-l."   i tried lots'a things, but i can't get my plextor 4x12x to write w/o putting in pregraps...   there's something wrong w/ the aspi.   hairdye n' korean musik videos.

sat, we went to shirley liang n' willy wang's wedding.   we barely caught the tail end.   then jerome joined us to go deejay their reception @ the silver dragon.   good fud!   i loved the walnut prawns.   it was a good time.   dang... i saw so many ppl i hadn't cn in a long time. *sigh*   n' so many ppl r married now.   i saw aaron jorgenson w/ juliet from upstairs in foothill...   (phil'd be interested 'bout this, since he lived in the foothill suite w/ me.)   later that evening, i told eileen that i recognised aaron's gf; she replied, "that's not his gf." then i sed, "oh, i mean, his date..."   then she sed, "she's not his date, she's his wife!"   upes... whoa!!!!   that's kewl tho'.   i bet they're happy 2gether.   they're both really fun ppl.   i just never thought they'd ever meet each other.   they were 2 diff ppl from 2 diff areas of my life, maybe even 2 periods of my life, early college n' mid college yrs.   ha!   i guess it's sorta like liwen's cing me n' kaela 2gether... ha ha ha.   well, it's been so much fun gettin' back into deejaying, i gotta say.   man!   i'm having a blast.   ha ha.   kaela got to c me deejay 4 her 1st time.   that was just a taste!   the wedding dance party part only lasted a short while... a full.on party party'd last a lot longer!   she saw how deejaying could be stressful.   i tried to give jerome some good experience when the crowd was mostly leaving.   we had lots'a lifting n' lugging that nite; our back suffered, altho' we tried to take care of them.   we quickly swung by koko house to say hi to jason, mikey, deanna, leo, darlene, joon, n' brandie.   jerome drove me n' kaela there, but brandie drove us home cos the rest went off to watch the original kings of comedy.   kaela n' i were 2 tired.   brandie sed she's 2 old 4 that life, n' i was wondering what 'bout me?   i'm a yr older than brandie...   i felt so weird going from a world where ppl my age r mostly married to koko house w/ taekwondo ppl...   2 diff lifestyles 4 sure.   jason's back.   that's kewl.   n' mikey's back 4 good now...   summer break... weird, huh?

sun, kaela cooked me lunch, a big, asian feast! thai shrimp soup, chinese prawns w/ broccoli, a vietnamese chicken w/ bean noodle dish, n' this stewed chinese mushroom n' baby corn dish.   yum, yum, yum.   i was so stuffed.   'twas all good fud!   then joon n' jerome came to do this b.day ritual thing they made up, i guess...   they told me to get into some i don't normally wear, something like a halloween costume...   i didn't know what else, so i put on my paintballing jumpsuit.   i was already wearing a white wifebeater.   so i was wearing the paitballing jumpsuit w/ the top tied 'round my waist, the wifebeater; n' now jerome tied a black bandana 'round my head.   then he put a belt 'round my neck as a leash n' handed it to kaela.   then they stuck a "do not feed the animal" sign on my back.   so they had kaela walk me 'round telegraph n' unit 3.   ah, 1nce 'gain i was a piece of berkeley life...   'twas like the time in iv when i had to hold the "free hugs" sign on sproul.   i was somewhat of a campus personality, i guess... 4 a brief time.   yah, it makes me happy to do stuff like that...   'member how when owen n' i saw the unicycle guy in pink tights, owen sed, "u'll never c an asian guy doing that," n' he meant it in a good n' bad way.   i mean, besides the "happy happy happy" guy on sproul, u don't c 'nuff asian ppl doing weird, weird things that represent berkeley crazyppl life.   neway, so they walked me down telly.   then they had me take off my shirt 4 a henna tattoo (2 burdies) that didn't actually werk (didn't stain my skin well 'nuff), but it looked kewl while the henna was actually still on my back.   so i was walked thru unit 3, 'round the dc n' back to my apt shirtless.   i heard freshmen n' parents were staring, n' some conservative parents, 'specially the asian 1s, were sorta aghast.   well, i hope so... that'd be kewl.   but in ne case, 'twas good fun.   jerome also bought me a coupl'a calvin n' hobbes stickers.   man, we were really doing the berkeley telly scene!   it was kewl...   then we went home to change to do the rest of my b.day thing.

ppl took me out to dinner @ harris ranch steakhouse.   i was so happy to get to try steak tartare!   raw meat!   who was there? the beautiful kaela kang, darlene, leo, deanna, mikey, chals, jason, brandie, jerome, joon, patrick, owen, romy, laura...   it was a pretty pricey dinner.   i really appreciate them taking me to such a nice place.   we all felt a li'l underdressed n' stuff, but 'twas all good.   i opened erin's present @ the restaurant b4 cake.   we left, n' then they took me back to my place 4 more partying n' presents.   sam n' josh joined us there.   kaela did so much to put on the party.   i really appreciate all here effort!   a semi.unidentified group of ppl gave me some studio monitor speakers, nice 1s.   i can hook them up to my yamaha receiver, which was a b.day present last yr.   we tested them out.   they sound good.   the manager got some complaints from neighbours tho', n' told us not to do that.   then chals had me briefly tell the story of my life up to now...   he wanted to hear funny n' juicy stuff, n' i tried to oblige.   chals, sam, n' sung gave me a trio of john woo / chow yun fat videos.   i haven't watched them yet, but i can't wait.   'twas a fun nite.

mon, i saw toby.   shk jook n' seaweed / egg drop soup.   toby gave me a trio of simpsons videos.   it's so kewl!   we didn't get to watch them tho'.   s.mike called from va.   he had no clue 'twas my b.day; he just called.   kaela n' toby started watching chinese connection, n' i joined them later.   s.mike had stories to tell.   well, i guess he's doing his part to live up the swingin' guy life.

tues, practice...   chals n' sam r organising the calapalooza demo.   jerome, joon, brandie, n' efren r gonna help out.   that's kewl.   after practice, kaela n' i went home.   i cooked chicken curry, n' kaela cooked miyuhkgook.   we ate n' watched simpsons.

25 yrs of my life n' still trying to get up that great big hill of hope to a destination.   from the 4 non blondes' "what's up"

i never liked the 4 non blondes much, but i'll listen to the dj miko version.   do i wanna feel that hopeless? that 0.25 life crisised?   no, i don't want to.   i talk to chals 'bout how i feel that life has few gauges now.   what do 25 yr old ppl do?   i'm not gonna compare myself to other 25 yr olds am i?   some make millions, some barely make money, some r still in skool, some never went to skool (college)... buy high, sell low; buy low, sell high.   who would'a thought all those pro skaters that were big when i was in middle skool'd still be pro skaters?   toby sez he's afraid to get back into the skool environment.   did i ever leave?   another skool yr starts in berkeley.   it almost doesn't make me blink.   i used to feel so left out whenever skool resumed.   how could berkeley skool life go on w/o me?   the kind of feeling kids get when the stay home sick from skool...   this yr, i almost don't feel it; but i know i will cos kaela n' toby'll be starting grad skool.   4 a while i was really good 'bout updating my journal.   nowadays, i'm pretty bad; but i don't have time.   i like cooking 'gain.   but sometimes dining out is a social experience.   yah, we miss last yr n' the unity of p.crew; but there's more fun to be had 2.   life progresses, life changes, n' life cycles 'round.   u do 1 thing, u do 'nother, u go back to doing things u like...   so what is beno s'pposed to do?   beno should do whatever beno wants to do, right?   hrm...   that's easy advice: buy low, sell @ the peak, mimimise ur losses... uh, easier sed than done.   i was 1nce ur age.   or else i'll someday be ur age.   please discuss.

[later]   u know what a hair splinter is, right?   when u have shortly buzzed hair, sometimes u get hair spinters when a short hair; which is no longer rooted, came out, whatever; embeds an end into ur skin.   i had a hair splinter on the side of the outside of my nose!   i didn't wanna take tweezers n' go into the bathroom to pull it out, or it'd look like i was pulling nosehairs or boogers out... if ne1 saw.   so i took a cd n' tweezers from the shop n' per4med the operation in private.   hair splinter!

psyduck!   ...   ...   psyduck!   i'm staying late @ werk, n' now i'm doing this journal entry.   i thought 'twas 517p 4 a sec cos i saw the clock on the thermostat, but then i returned to my 'puter n' realised 'twas 617p.   *sigh*   time, time, time.   i'm hungry.   yah, all i ate 4 lunch was leftover chicken cacciatore that i was s'pposed to eat yesterday.   yesterday, i filled up on leftover noah's bagels instead, but i was still hungry by the end of the werkday.   well, it's ok.   my stomach prob'ly expanded recently.   'twas a warm day in corte madera 2day.   werk werk werk.   hrm... i'll admit that sometimes i wonder if i'm being paid enuf here.   *sigh*   'least traffic wasn't 2 bad coming in this morn.

last nite, practice, n' then the ever.beautiful kaela kang n' i made boboli pizzas w/ portabello shrooms, grilled chicken, sun.dried tomatoes, peppers, green onions... stuff like that.   yum yum.   'twasn't 2 hard 4 such a satisfying meal.   i mean, it wasn't as easy as frozen dinners or frozen pizza, but it wasn't like spending 4 hrs on making lamb moussaka n' avgolemono soup or nething.   psyduck!   i like kaela.   kaela is great!

happy burthday eileen!   i haven't cn eileen in a long time, but i know it's her b.day 2day.   (i don't think she reads this neway...)   i'll c her this sat when i deejay willie wang n' shirley liang's wedding.   i'm hungry.   shirley sez we'll get fed @ the reception.   that's good.

hrm... i'm hungry n' not that energetic right now.   i don't think that makes 4 very good journal writing.   it's almost 630p now.   i wanted to swing by costco on the way to kaela's albany place, but i dunno if i wanna deal w/ the long lines @ costco right now.   'course if i don't get the film now, it might be harder to find later.   i always look 4ward so much to cing kaelapics!

if u haven't heard by now, we have baby pigeons living on our balcony!   a pigeon couple has 2 babies, n' they all live there.   they poop all over the place, n' many flies come to eat their poop.   nasty, huh?   but the baby pigeons themselves r very cute!   u really ought to come n' c them!   altho' some ppl consider pigeons "rats w/ wings," as they say in goodfeathas, i'd like to give them a li'l more respect.   after all, they r still burdies.   how could i dislike ne burdy?

so i haven't talked all that much 'bout all sorts of stuff that's gone on since n' during the time we were in san jo.   well, the beautiful kaela kang's journal details some of it.   yes, on fri, jerome drove joon n' phil down to my san jo home.   joon bought an lg fon from ken, jerome reactivated his pager, n' i reactivated chals's.   then josh came n' joined us.   i took all the berkeleyfolk out to the korean area of san jo on el camino real...   well, it's not really san jo out there, it's sunnyvale.   we went to palace (koongjuhn) bbq buffet.   my dad took me there a long time 'go.   it's sorta expensive, $17.99, but u have the opportunity to try to make up that amt in the meat u eat, right?   yes, we tried.   jerome n' his chadolbaeki...   we were pretty full, n' we had much surplus meat.   the waitress was sorta pissed we wasted so much fud, but josh told her we ran out of time to cook it.   they were closing n' were kicking us out.   we were s'pposed to meet ken n' others @ monet, a korean bar, not 2 far 'way.   ken, grace, young.i, tim chen, gordon, ryan nishikawa, n' hogan were all there already, eating yangnyuhm tongdalk, etc.   us, uh... way 2 full to eat ne fud there, but we had our fill of soju/maekju.   it got really late.   well, 'twas time to go!   so we trekked back to berkeley, via 101/92/880/980/24, making a bathroom stop in redwood city.   'twas late, n' i still had to move all my stuff upstairs.

sat, taekwondo belt tests.   i judged.   there weren't many coloured belts testing.   i got to give some commands to micah who was testing 4 his 1st keub.   i thought we'd give him a longer test, but master yoon made it much shorter than what kaela's group had to do.   he got all the 2nd thru 4th dan, n' we went down the line 1nce n' gave him a set of commands we chose.   i thought we'd go down the line 'least 2ice.   the dan tests were short.   dr. eric, jason buccholz, n' brian chi tested 4 1st dan, n' perry seto, chuck tweedy, dave currie, n' dave cummins tested 4 4th dan.   there was no black belt dinner afterwards cos dr. min rescheduled it 4 21 aug... nuts, my b.day.   well, a bunch'a us went to the durant fud ct to eat.   kaela n' i got fud (mool naengmyuhn / kalgooksu) from ramen house, where we ran into alex n' her bf jasper.   the group sat 2gether n' ate.   then kaela n' i went home, n' she cut my hair.   then we went to darlene n' deanna's 4 a party, tho' we stopped by albany n' safeway 1st.   sun, we helped phil pack up n' move out of his apt.   the 3 of us ate @ barney's on solano.   in the evening we met w/ fahad n' vince.   fahad, his gf wendy, vince, wendy's sis aimee, her bf chris, fahad's bro fawaz, n' his 2 friends from ucsf dental skool were eating @ kabana.   phil, kaela, n' i were still sorta full from lunch, n' we got there 2 late to eat w/ them.   the group went to au coquelet 4 drinks n' dessert n' snacks.   wow, fahad n' vince...   we caught up on everything n' reminisced, i guess.   crazy life.

mon, kaela's b.day!   a bunch'a us took her out to dinner @ yoshi's.   owen n' i had always considered yoshi's a li'l overrated, but it isn't 2 bad of a japanese restaurant.   the sushi's pretty good, 'least the 1s we ordered that nite.   they have interesting midori cocktails, such as midori colada, daquiri, margarita, etc.   owen n' romy, andy, brandie, josh, joon, n' linda came to celebrate.   kaela opened her presents, n' we had a bunch'a desserts.   'twas a fun time.

last nite, kaela n' i had a good open werkout on the mat, then we went to non.party safeway, so i could buy lottery tix n' fixins to make chicken cacciatore.   toby came over.   i cooked it differently than i usually do.   i used 3 pots instead of 2.   i was even tempted to use 4 pans, if i could'a.   i wanted to make it nice 4 kaela.   i cooked the chicken, onions, n' mushrooms in 1 pot, n' i cooked the tomatoes in 'nother, then i had the noodles boiling in a 3rd.   it tured out pretty well.   if i could'a; i would'a steamed the zucchini n' squash, insted of cookin' them w/ the chicken, altho' this method give the veggies the flavour from the chicken marinade/seasonings.   i didn't have red pepper cos i left it @ kaela's.   we ate so late cos cooking took so long.   toby gave me 2 crocodile shirts from hk, hip stuff.   i tried to get him to talk more 'bout his trip, but he didn't have a whole lot to say.   i can't wait to c pics.

@ this moment, kaela n' i r the same age in american yrs.   funny.   i wish we could go to great america 1nce this summer, but summer's almost over.   time flies.   i'll be 25.   *sigh*   time to think in 0.25 life crisis mode 'gain.   life's 2 short to be doing stuff u don't want to be doing.   it'd be nice to be raking in tons of ca$h, right?   n' it'd be nice to play all day.   hrm...   battling traffic sucks.   dealing w/ bureaucracy sucks.   paying bills sucks.   i went to the dentist yesterday, i 4got to mention.   i had 2 teeth treated w/ sealant.   i don't have cavities, but i have li'l, li'l holes that needed to be sealed.   the dentist drills into the tooth w/o ne anesthetic in that case.   crazy, huh?   i didn't know what he was gonna do, he just sorta started.   i want to take care of my teeth.   i have a cleaning appt next month.   they want me to buy some stoopid "nightguard" contraption cos they think i grind my teeth in my sleep.   i don't wana buy it.   i wouldn't wear it.   i think i should stop chewing ice.   i should wear my retainer.   *sigh*   well, i have a baby pigeons on my balcony n' i a beautiful gurlfriend (gf).

(berkeley, ca)   the most beautiful gurl in the world turns 24 2day!   everbody's favourite on.line journalist, kaela kang, the sexiest female on the web, was born this day in 1976 in seoul, so. korea.   festivities will happen 2nite.   rumour has it that the celebration will not happen newhere like denny's, ihop, or carrows.   it's a nice sunny day in the bay area; no rain in sight.   kaela's bf beno hwang remains passionately in love w/ her.   u can be sure we'll keep u posted on what happens 2nite.

saengil chookhahae!

yeh, i'm down w/ pro.e; u know it!   finished.   well, i leave san jo 2nite.   jerome, joon, phil, n' josh r supposed to come down from b.town 2 day...   i hope brandie comes down 2, but i dunno.   2morrow's promotionals.   crazy, a whole summer gone.   well, hrm...   we've done a lot of bumming 'round in san jo.   i tried to show kaela this n' that.   we've enjoyed the nice, warm weather down here.   we've had enuf of that san francisco fog n' the general cold weather of berkeley, right?   oh well, 2nite we go back.   i got to talk to a lott'a old friends on the fon last nite: fahad, vince, n' phil...   fahad's in town.   we'll hang out on sun evening.   it's good to catch up w/ old friends.   now is a good time to make old friends.   well, the beuatiful kaela kang n' i r @ ideal w/ my sister cos grace (my sister) is buying a new nokia 5180.   man, the verizon plans r pretty good right now!   no doubt!   dang, maybe i should desert my unlimited nites n' weekends plan 4 1 of these new plans!   it'd be sad to lose that unlimited nites n' weekend plan tho'...   look: 250 netime + 1000 off peak + 1000 mobile to mobile 4 just $35!   n' no roaming in that huge service area...   crazy...   it'd be much better 4 trips to tahoe n' socal.   what a dilemma.   i'd like to buy a big, big scsi hard drive n' a scsi cdrom reader, n' a nice soundcard.   silicon valley goods.   i'm hungry, but i've been eating so much lately.   i ate sushi @ sushi lovers w/ my cowerker chris n' our classmate pon.   next week, back in berkeley n' corte madera.

so i'm in san jo 4 pro.e training.   pro.e is a 3d mechanical cad program.   i guess that's how i'd describe it.   it's much better than autocad 4 mechanical engineering stuff; that's 4 sure.   neway, i'm here all week, n' the beautiful kaela kang came down w/ me, n' we're staying @ my mom's place.   a full house: my mom, grace n' steve, kaela n' me.   it's nice to be in san jo.   it's nice to reminisce.   geez, it's weird tho'; this transplatation from urban wasteland to technological cosmosuburbia.   life's different here; palm trees.   silicon valley... got all these 3com n' cisco folk everywhere.   well, it feels really good to be in this cad class.   i like it.   i miss skool n' the feeling of accomplishment after applying something u just learned, after solving a problem.

so benomix3 is pretty much done.   i have a ruff draft burned.   now i just have to split it into tracks, edit a li'l, make a cover, n' burn a whole bunch of copies.   reserve ur copy 2day.   i'd appreciate ne donations of blank discs n' cases.   i was surprised @ how well some much of the mix came out.   it's a much better mix than benomix2.   n' it's crazy how i mixed it all in 1 day!   phew...   well, it took much, much, much sweat n' tears...   i mean, even tho' it was "recorded" in 1 day, much time n' e4ort went into the remix process 4 each individual track/song/whatever.   *sigh*   well, i hope u like it when u hear it.

so we'll be here until fri.   hopefully some taekwondo p.crew folk'll be down here on fri evening.   sat's promotional tests, so we gotta be back up in b.town by sat morn.   basically, we'll leave fri nite.   well, i got a few days to show kaela the best of san jo.   i wish i could show her more, but i have my classes all day.

american pie is a classic piece of american teen cinema.   i was just thinking of that, while on the toilet, thinking of that laxative scene.   sixteen candles is the most well.known of the 80s john hughes movies, right?   i'd think so.   2day is fri.   friday is a good movie.   friday:black youth culture::american pie:white youth culture.   n' asian kids watch gen x cops n' korean musik videos.   ha ha ha.   ok, so what piece of pop media influences all ethnicities of american youths?   eh, i dunno... this wasn't supposed to my topic 4 2day or nething.   so! how r u 2day?   please feel free to answer that question.   it's fri, as i sed.   i went to lunch w/ the beautiful kaela kang @ max's of marin, had a huge, huge, huge turkey, roast beef, red pepper, avocado sandwich... combo sandwich #6.   kaela had a sweet n' sour spinach salad.   yummy fud... 2 much of it.   yah, the hostess... that fat, old woman... she was not nice to us, so we should get her fired when we can.   but the waiter n' the busboy were good guys, so i didn't stiff them on the tip or nething.   2 much fud lately!   last nite, after practice, we went to daruma, (jerome, josh, kaela, n' me).   josh, jerome, n' i all had those bento specials, but only i finished everything.   dwaeji beno.   not good.   also, it'd be nice to eat in more often, eat out less; not a bad idea.   neway, this lunch @ max's really hit the spot tho'.   i felt like having huge sandwiches stuffed w/ lots'a dead animal.   avocado's fattening.

weekend, here i come.   it'd be nice to relax.   i've been so sleepy lately.   is it cos i drank so much coffee @ my bizness mtg on wed?   i dunno; can a caffeine crash last this long?   i usually avoid caffeine; altho' i sometimes drink diet coke, just 4 the taste of it.   weekend, as i was saying...   i'm not going to the korean martial arts summer camp.   oh well.   will i get ne exercise?   benomix3 is due this weekend!   this is important!   i must finish benomix3 this weekend.   san jo next week.   lethargy n' sluggishness, a temporary slight lack of motivation, n' a desire to sleep.   whadda u wanna do?   i dunno; whadda u wanna do?   sparkle n' shine, n' show the whole world i'm young n' alive.   i wanna bask in warm sun.   i wanna eat basque fud sometime.   i wanna feel free.   freedom!!! as they say in braveheart.   yet freedom, oh freedom, that's jes' some ppl talkin'...   i drank 1 of those snapple elements drinks on my way to werk.   oh, yah... i've had them b4; sobe's better by far.   every sobe has 100% rda of vitamin c in each serving, i believe.   packaging n' marketing.   sobe has the whole cute lizard theme.   i grow old, i grow old, i shall wear the bottoms of my chungbaji rolled.   it's been a while since i read that poem...   u know, it's on my website somewhere.   oh, here: "the love song of j. alfred prufrock"   u know, it's still my favourite poem.   "cheer up sleepy jean.   oh what can it mean to a daydream believer and a homecoming queen."   i heard that monkees song thru the wall of my office.   wouldn't it've been kewl to be in the monkees back when they were da bomb?   they actually played their own instruments, right?   i think so.   i'd like to eat pineapple.   let's all be vegetarians 4 a while.   i want sunshine.   c'mon everybody, it's fri nite.

an h.t.b. @ high tech burrito is a burrito w/ 2 meats, but i only picked chicken, so did i get 2ce as much meat as if i had a normal chicken burrito?   i dunno, but i wasn't reading the menu very closely.   i enjoyed having guacamole in my burrito.   yum, yum.   tastyfat.   i was @ high tech burrito in mill valley w/ my cowerkers chris n' eric.   nuclear salsa is not that spicy!   i think they used to have thermonuclear or something, something spicier.

so tues nite, 01 aug, we went to practice.   kevin yang led werkout.   we met master mijung choi.   i 'membered her from yong.in; she's really good @ poomsae n' showed all the taegeuk 4 us.   after practice, some of us took her to koko house.   she's been staying @ brandie n' kaela's.   kaela always tries to get away w/ saying she doesn't speak korean well, but she can... n' sung won't let her get away w/ that.   u know... sung is always a nice guy; he's always chipping in so much when we go out...   sung n' andy... they both do that.   nice guys.

wed, i went down to san jo 4 a bizness mtg all day.   i came back up n' went to kaela's.   beautiful kaela, hotstuff, u know.   i thought p crew was gonna have a nite out, but that sorta got messed up.   neway, i took kaela to safeway n' got some ingredients 4 us to make jjajangmyuhn @ her place.   so we ate n' watched the boob tube.   that's what ppl call the telly 'round here, right?

i'm not going to the korean martial arts summer camp this yr.   i feel bad that i can't go.   most of our crew isn't going.   owen is.   i can't go cos i gotta do pro.e training in san jo.   also, sun is phil's going away picnic, n' i gotta werk on benomix3 this weekend.   2 much stuff.

kaela cooks well.   i like.   i want to cook more 4 her.   i'll try, but i haven't been so much the cook these past yr or so.   i'll try to get back into it.   i used to cook so often.   i'll make lamb mousaka 'gain sometime. it was a 4 hr process last time, so i gotta do it on a weekend, i guess.   actually, that's more of a winter dish neway.   when i cook, i try to get good ingredients... that makes the difference...   buying the better brand, fresher vegetables, fresh herbs, etc...   it helps.   but i wasn't always making complicated dishes back in those days.   i also have a bunch of really bachelor dishes i wouldn't mind exposing kaela to...   really functional fuds like sunny side up eggs w/ extra whites w/ gochujang on rice... plain protein n' carbo.   or plain pan.grilled chicken breast w/ gochujang... hrm... 'bout the same... which came 1st the chicken or the egg?   or chicken n' egg in oyako donburi...   or just plain bokchoy or chinese broccoli w/ oyster sauce...   some nites i ate totally vegetarian.   hrm... some bachelorfud nites were just pasta n' sauce tho'...   i prefer those rotary, pinwheel pasta things... not curly, spirals corkskrews, altho' those r good 2... but those other 1s.   yah, those! those r tasty!   chicken cacciatore.   chicken curry.   beef stew, clam chowder, chicken noodle soup... oh! that's what i made 4 kaela that used bay leaves!   we were wondering last nite, why she had my bay leaves... ah, that's it.   *sigh* well, yah... i wanna get back into the cooking mode.   *sigh*   'member when i was a student, n' cooking was a great way to procrastinate?

how r u?   i had a roadrunner burrito 4 lunch.   i noticed a lott'a ppl there wanted to really customise their orders: "no beans, no cheese, n' just a li'l bit of rice," etc.   some ppl really go to extremes.   n' then i wondered, "why do these ppl even bother coming here?   why don't they eat @ home n' cook 4 themselves?"   i figured that part of coming to a restaurant establishment is to experience specific recipes that some chef designed 4 ppl to eat.   it cms like these ppl figure it's like walking into their home kitchen n' having servants there to prepare ur fud.   but then i thought 'bout something: if i ordered the side of rice n' the side of beans, n' then add on chicken or fish n'guacamole, i could have a pretty kewl meal...   n' actually, it might be a li'l cheaper.   hrm... weird, but i dunno if i wanna do that.

yah, so last nite, the beautiful kaela kang n' jeanna totally moved out.   we moved their stuff out.   while the freshly cleaned bathroom floor was drying, kaela n' i didn't wanna use it, but we had to go, so we walked out to warren hall.   it was locked, but we got to c lots'a robins on the lawn hunting 4 worms.   i really think they're cute.   i wish i could have this screensaver w/ cartoon robins on a lawn hunting 4 worms. it's a very good idea.   will some1 please make it n' give me a copy?   what happened to after dark?   after we dropped some stuff off @ the new place, kaela n' i went to jeanna's bf's place to eat some pilipino fud he made.   we actually ate @ his friends' apt downstairs.   it was a bunch'a guys n' jeanna n' kaela.   yah, a fun bunch'a guys.   they sorta reminded me of nelson's ol' crew down @ ucsd or the foothill bunch w/ eric, ed, vince, stephan, etc...   u know the bunch.   i guess they're all dormfriends.   *sigh*   'member the ol' ucsd crew that nelson introduced me to?   i wonder how they're doing.   'member when they lived in that big house in mira mesa?   u know, i was really impressed w/ that guy... what was his name?   john something something... they called him johnboy cos he was this totally countryish, white boy.   he drove a very big, diesel pick.up.   i think i heard he did some really country western things now n' then.   but he lived w/ this house full of asian asian guys, n' they all genuinely got along, as far as i could c.   that was kewl.   yah, 'member how every1 in that household had some special vehicle?   every1 drove: 1) a big suv or truck, 2) a souped up sports car / "rice rocket," 3) a motorcycle, or 4) ne combination of the 3.   'member that?   n' they'd race going everywhere!   i 'member john park was pretty crazy w/ his li'l mr2.   it was really low, n' it looked like an rc car, zooming 'round.   n' nick had nos in his mustang...   ha, i 'member when i 1st hung out w/ them was when i 1st got used to ppl going sideways over speed bumps.   *sigh* man, that was a long time 'go now...   *sigh*

hrm...   i also wanted to talk 'bout plastic bags.   u 'member the plastic bag in the wind scene in american beauty?   ah, somtimes plastic bags really cm like animate objects, huh?   1 nite, driving back from kaela n' brandie's, i saw a plastic bag in the road n' 1st thought it was a cat, then i thought 'twas a stuffed animal, n' finally i realised 'twas just a bag.   that reminded me of that le petit prince thing w/ the hat v. the snake who ate a ... a something or other...   all apologies to st. exuperie.   was it an elephant? a person? a camel? i 4get.   well, yesterday, while driving home from sf thru soma, i saw a dancing plastic bag in the breeze.   i didn't want to hit it.   it's like running over an animal.   well, i ended up running into it.   n' i didn't c it escape from behind, so i knew it was caught in my grill or something.   later i saw 'twas caught in my wheel well, in the spring or something.   @ a red light, i slightly opened my door, reached out, n' grabbed the bag.   i let it ride w/ me back to berkeley.   then i discarded it.   funny.   it cmed so much like a somewhat conscious being, like a silly animal, that wanted to play, so it hitched a ride on my car.   weird, huh?

2day is steve's b.day.   happy b.day steve!   i dunno if he can read my journal now that he's in san jo, but maybe he'll 'least c this someday.

can u believe july is over.   where is summer going?   summer 2000.   it'll be august.   joon'll be back, right?   yesterday, i woke up early.   toby woke me up cos it was the last opportunity 4 toby, phil, i to be 2gether... last chance 4 a while.   u know, phil's going off to oregon 4 law skool.   he leaves 12 aug.   toby, yesterday, left 4 a trip to china w/ his family.   he'll come back 15 aug.   so yesterday was the last chance 4 the 3 of us to stand out in the cold, morning, berkeley air in front of phil's house, next to toby's 1969 vw bug.   toby was giving stuff to phil, the grades 4 their summer skool, upward bound, hs math class.   they both taught @ that program @ usf this summer.   the grades r due this fri, but since toby's in china, he gave his set of grades to phil to turn in 4 him.   so yah... toby woke me up, picked me up from my apt, n' we went to phil's.   altho' kaela told me to bring a camera, i 4got cos i was so sleepy.   phil took 1 pic of toby n' me w/ toby's bug.   *sigh*   then we left phil's.   i went back to toby's place w/ him.   his family was bizzy gettin' ready.   'twas kewl to c his mom since she's a really friendly person.   she fed us lasagne n' mangos.   betty showed up to drive them to sfo in her silver civic.   mrs. jaw knows i'm going out w/ kaela, but she hasn't met kaela yet.   well, i helped them load up the civic, then i walked home.

ah... kaela's move.   ha ha.   it's so fun to c how much kaela's a packrat just like me.   she's got a lotta stuff.   on sat nite, roland n' jerome helped us move stuff.   then we plus brandie went to 168.   kaela took us to dinner.   nice gurl.   afterwards, we went back to kaela n' brandie's n' watched tv.   well, we resumed the move on sun afternoon, me n' kaela.   then we picked up phil to help, n' i went to the rsf to help dr. eric johnson, jason bucchols, n' brian chi w/ their board breaks 4 their 1st dan tests.   phil n' kaela packed up stuff.   then i came back, n' we ate @ joshuya.   lots'a good sushi, but there were these really annoying sorority gurls next to us!   they kept arguing 'bout who drank how many sapporo, n' they couldn't figure out the bill amongst them; so they kept going n' going.   neway, we had a good dinner.   then we went back to moving stuff.   we finished late.   there were lots'a slugs n' snails out @ nite.   san jo has lots'a slugs n' snails.   the santa cruz mtns have banana slugs.   thruout the evening, me n' phil talked 'lot.   it's so crazy to think how we've known each other quite a while, how we've been good friends 4 quite a while.   *sigh*   so many shared memories...   i'm very sad to c him leave berkeley, but i guess that's what ppl sometimes do.   i'm glad i've gotten in touch w/ a coupl'a old friends recently: fahad n' vko.

ok, i rattled off my list of what i did, etc.   kaela's finishing up the move 2day.   i hope it's going ok.   kaela's my gf.   i am a lucky guy, i know.   i won't take that 4granted.

so 2day's sat, n' i'm doing all sorts of chores.   i did 3 loads of laundry!   i polished 2 pairs of shoes.   i cleaned out my forester's trunk.   i took out all the recyclable papers that were clogging up our hallway, i burned a bunch of mp3s to cdrom n' audio cd.   i guess i've been trying to tidy up my diskspace on my home 'puter 2 then...   as always, my home 'puter is so disorganised, yet my werk 'puter's so organised.   quite a difference!   well, the beautiful kaela kang is packing up all her stuff into boxes etc.   i'll be helping her move stuff to albany soon.   jerome n' roland'll help, i think.   hopefully others'll join us.   i'll help jeanna move stuff to her new 'partment 2.   i just gotta take care of this journal entry n' some e.mails.   i'm sorta hungry.   i'm listening to my freshly burned uhmjunghwa best cd.   so i'm gonna deejay willie wang n' shirley liang's wedding on 19 aug.   wow, i haven't djed a wedding in a while, over a yr.   *sigh*   i'm glad i've been getting into more musik stuff lately, i mean, w/ spending time on benomix3 n' getting all these mp3s etc.   i'm realising how much musik n' the dj life really means to me.   i really want to spend more time on this stuff.

last nite, a few of us hung out @ brandie's place.   we ate junk fud: chips n' salsa, tater tots, hot wings, n' had boone's, sapporo, n' peppermint schnapps w/ chocomilk.   we watched american pie.   of course it wasn't ne1's 1st time, but we just wanted a good laff.   we also rented jackie chan's gorgeous, but we were 2 tired to watch it.   tater tots r good!   but i sure feel like i need a werkout after participating in such bad dietary activities.   *sigh*

i want to get my car washed this weekend.   2morrow i think i'll go to costco to pick up those pics i dropped off yesterday.   uh...   man, i'm scaring myself!   why do i sound so domesticated all the sudden?!   boy, oh boy...   why?   but no!   i'm still hip!   i... uh... i do "stuff."   plenty of active fun stuff 4 young ppl, right?   right?!   *sigh*   well, i'll help dr. eric johnson, jason buchols, n' brian chi choreograph their 1st dan black belt test board breaks 2morrow.   i hope i can help them think of creative, kewl board breaks.   some ppl in the past have asked me to help them w/ this...   well, demo n' test breaks can be really diff tho'.

u do know i'll be in san jo 7-11 aug 4 cad software training, right?   we'll c if i get 'round to updating my journal during that week.   kaela's gonna stay in san jo w/ me @ my mom's place.   i guess grace n' steve r living there right now.   last nite, when jerome drove us to blockbuster, non.party albany safeway, n' brandie's n' back, he was playing a yuki hsu cd w/ 2 covers of fin.k.l. songs n' duets w/ yoo seungjoon n' t.e.a.m.   a kewl cd. &nbsdp; well, i'd better finish benomix3 b4 i leave to san jo!   i could have ken n' chas help me mass produce them 'gain.   but i gotta get all the material done b4 i go to san jo.   ok?   so i've set a due date or deadline of sorts.

yesterday, i werked 0.5 day n' went to the dentist in the afternoon.   i tried to get back to berkeley asap to take the beautiful kaela kang to lunch cos she starved 4 a while 4 her bloodwerk thingy.   i took her to lunch @ venezia.   i had never been to venezia b4.   it's decorated like my old french classroom at leland, 'cept it's italian stuff instead of french stuff, n' it's a li'l nicer, altho' i gotta say the french classroom was pretty kewl, pretty well done...   if u ever have a chance, u should take a peek into that classroom, when u'r cruisin' by my hs to pick up on hs chickies... ha ha.   or u should 'least look @ my old yrbooks to c what the room looked like.   well, i was so stressed thru.out that lunch... stoopid job stress.   n' i was worried 'bout getting to my dental appt on time.   job stress is no good.   i've been much bizzier @ werk, as u know...   it's fri 2day.   yes, it's a very tgif friday.   kaela's gonna be volunteering 2nite, so what am i gonna do to keep entertained???   last time i was in a situation like this, joon n' josh went w/ me to brother's barbecue.   hrm...   what to do?

well, i do need to do lots'a musik stuff.   i have a bunch'a mp3s...   yah, 1s jerome prob'ly wants, such as a japanese ses remix cd.   i gotta xfer stuff from zip disk to hard drive, then from hard drive to cd.rom, as .mp3 files and as audio cds.   i want both; i'd like to have a nice archive.   i finally got the .mp3 of the park hyeykyung album...   i really liked the song "gobaek" as soon as i heard it @ koko house a long time 'go.   i asked kay who it was, but she didn't know.   then chals found out 4 me, n' we heard it 'gain @ resistance.   i don't get to hear new non.dance korean musik much, as i was telling kaela last nite.   benomix3!   when? huh? whuh?   i got some fresh n' funky tracks (imho) laid down, but i'm not even gonna tell u yet 'bout them.   very inside 411 still.

2morrow, we'll help kaela move to albany.   my friend wants us to go to a rave on sat nite.   ok, i'll go, i guess.   'course it might be 2 late to buy tix now.   he has always wanted us to go to a rave, but i get sorta nervous cos the word "rave" cms like such a big deal cos it's something new to me.   he should just say, "let's go to a party."   i guess it's weird that i haven't ever been to a rave since i was always deejaying rave musik back in hs w/ nelson n' ken; n' even back then, we kept saying we wanted to go to a rave...   then the whole idea turned very unappealing to me 4 a while.   neway, sounds like the tix might be sold out, so who knows what'll happen sat nite.

last nite, kaela n' i went to daruma, after practice, w/ romy n' owen.   they're a couple, u know.   i've been eating 2 much lately.   owen always makes me feel so fat.   this guy's a li'l taller than me, n' he's 140#.   crazy.   he wants to be a bantam weight @ this yr's natl collegiates.   i've cn this guy fluctuate weight so much.   i've known him 4 a long time, longer than i've known ne other taekwondo person, i guess.

weekend.   *sigh* it's really tgif.   when u'r as pmsed as i've been, weekend sounds like such an oasis.   i know some ppl r really sad or disappointed that i haven't been writing back, but i've really been bizzy @ werk, so i haven't had ne time to waste newhere...   i'm glad to find time to write this journal entry.   i hope u'r reading it, n' u'r not thinking, "oh, beno has time to write a journal entry, but he doesn't have time 4 me!"   instead i hope u consider this sort'f a letter to u, altho' i definitely understand it's no substitution 4 the real thing, baby.   ain't nuthin' like the real thing.   i want to get a car wash.   if i lived in san jo, i'd wash my own car, but there's no space in berkeley, unless i go to solar car wash.   maybe someday...   but i'll go to touchless or somewhere like that this time.   i used priceline.com to buy gas a while 'go.   i have priceline.com stock.   a long time 'go, i bought it on a whim.   then it skyrocketed!   i was happy... but happy n' stoopid.   i should'a sold it.   that stock market, i tell ya...   don'tcha just hate it?   piece'a junk!   makes me wanna run away to the mtns n' live in a log cabin.   who needs money?!   money is the root of all evil.   if u have lots'a money, u can eat fancy fud.   if u eat fancy fud all the time u'll get fat!   if u don't got much money, u'll eat bk n' mc yuk yuk n' j.box every day.   if u eat bk/mcyukyuk/j.box every day, u'll get fat.   why not just pull some weeds from ur garden?   pick some shrooms from ur lawn.   grown ur own fud n' be green!   then u can be healthy, n' u can feel like u'r living a simple life.   howzabout we go fishing someday?   then we can eat the fish we catch.   hrm... really, what do i want from life these days?   do i really wanna go fishing?   according to the cambridge intl dictionary, proletariat = "the class of people who do unskilled jobs in industry and own little or no property."   hrm... do u wanna be proletariat?   or wouldju rather be royalty?   isn't it fun to live life to it's fullest while u'r young? to be extravagant, wasteful, n' reckless?   to buy priceline.com stock?   'member my asking if we'll ever make it to that other life? the life w/ the spouse, kids, n' doggy?   it will happen, won't it?   what else could happen?   i wish i could map out my future: all my possible paths in life n' where they'd lead.   in a choose-ur-own-adventure book, u can always flip back or start over.   in life, u can't really do that so well.   no, i wasn't saying nething deep, just the obvious; yes, i know.   neway, why so pessimistic?   "let's get happy."   i wanna go to costco n' drop off some film.

[later]   i didn't mention that kaela came to visit me @ werk, huh?   after her 0.5 day of werk @ dhs n' b4 going to sfgh, she came to have lunch w/ me in corte madera.   i took her to fresh choice in cm town centre.   we both like that place, so it's kewl when she comes, n' we go there cos i know my cowerkers don't like that place, so i'll never go w/ them.   speaking of cowerkers, alfred bought us a sony mavica camera 2day.   those r kewl!   don'tchu wish we all had mavicas?

yesterday evening, i skipped practice.   i picked up the beuatiful kaela kang n' took her to dinner @ café de la paz.   yum yum.   llapingacho or whatever it's called...   potato cake w/ fried plaintains.   she had paella n' i had a salmon salad.   yum yum fud.   then i helped her move stuff to albany after we watched the simpsons.

avaron was fun on fri nite.   werk was hard on fri.   it's been a long week @ werk.   the commute sucked, n' i had to go into sf 2ice!   it took me 2 hrs to get home from sf in the afternoon.   my mind was sorta scattered as i was thinking 'bout how i'm to deejay shirley n' willie's wedding, n' i missed my right turn @ hyde cos i would'a had to cut off a muni bus to make the turn.   neway, avaron was fun.   kaela had a sexy outfit n' butterfly barrettes.   they played a lotta songs that were kind'a not.so.new, classic korean gayo, like "kkunddari shabara" by clon, "haengbok" from h.o.t., n' "d.o.c. wa chumul" from dj doc.   i dunno why i'm listing off these songs, but it was just so funny 4 me n' josh cos "kkungddari shabara" was the hot song the 1st time we went clubbing @ a korean club way, way back, at cairo.   who was there?   laura, brandie, catherine ahn, josh, jerome, jason (jerome's bro), alex, the beautiful kaela kang, n' beno.   some of us went to j.town denny's afterwards.   i purposely left my fon in the car while @ avaron n' denny's.   man... it sucked that deanna, darlene, n' leo got to avaron 2 late n' couldn't get in!

sat: kaela wanted pho, so i took her to pho king (it should be 1 wurd.) out on int'l blvd in oaktown.   then we shopped 'round oakland chinatown.   kaela wanted a calvin sticker 4 her car.   we got that.   then we stopped by sweetheart to get drinks.   i like sweetheart.   oh, when we went to the oakland asian cultural center to use their restrooms, we saw this kewl exhibit 'bout 70s asian.american pop musik.   that was kewl to c all that long, feathered hair on these pioneers of asian.american culture, u know?   they had lots'a pics, articles, records, displays, etc.   wow, imagine living thru all that.   uhm, i guess those were the days when perry seto n' dr. frank choy were our age, huh?   i've heard of hiroshima, some new age.ish jazz group or something.   i think my dad talked 'bout them or something...   maybe we heard a show 'bout them on kqed radio or something.   neway, kaela n' i saw all that, n' i showed kaela the asian library downstairs.

yes, asian american culture: the asian american community in nor cal... i'm proud to say that it is a li'l more unified in nor cal than in other parts of cali or the country.   i mean, it's sad that other places can't be as unified.   u know what i mean, right?   i'm glad that there's more pan.ethnic asian.american unity in nor cal.   the chinks, gooks, nips, flips, n' 'vc's get along.   ha ha.  but really... it's a good thing.

k, after chinatown, we stopped by party safeway to get some sodas n' ice, then we were off to jeff's place 4 a big barbecue.   jeff bought a george 4man outdoor grill.   we had steaks n' sausage.   there was some lemon.seasoned chicken that krishlle marinated, but we didn't get to try it.   i'm sure 'twas good.   we got to c dave!!!   wow.   we never c dave.   he werks a lot.   *sigh*   it's 2 bad...   oh well; his video game comes out this christmas.

so 2day's sun, n' we r very lazy!   kaela fried some hobak.   we ate chwipo.   she's gonna make some bibim naengmyuhn soon.   this past weekend/week has been tons of fud n' no werkout.   nuts.   man, i don't wanna get fat.   *sigh*

why is this journal entry so titled?   they played that old song @ avaron.   it's hip 'gain.   i keep telling these youngsters how rave musik is nuthin' new.   it really isn't.   'member the days of "sesam-e's treet" n' alpha team's "speed racer" song?   messiah's "temple of dreams"...   ah, those were the days... of course.   oh hey!   i played dance dance revolution @ jefflyn's!   'twas krishelle's game.   i didn't know it isn't sold in america...   i know kaela's friend sarah has it.   i've cn it elsewhere, but i didn't know it isn't sold in the us.   u know "bust-a-groove," right?   i 'member that sort'a game was popular in korea last summer, n' the arcade machines'd play "yuhruhm iyagi" n' "wae buleuh."   i tried a deejay game that was like bust.a.groove but the graphics mess me up, distract me.   here, i gotta say...   i really feel benomix3'll happen soon!

semi.anniversary 4 kaela n' beno.   2day.   6 monthversary.   the beautiful kaela kang, she's my favourite gurl in the whole wide world! the only 1 4 me.   she came to visit me @ werk last nite cos i had to stay late to finish stuff 4 a mtg this morning.   she looked very pretty.   she made me very happy.   i'm very happy that kaela's w/ me.   i hope she knows.

yesterday, i had to move from my temporary cubicle to 'nother.   that took most of the day.   we're putting new carpet in our office, so the engineering guys took over the chemistry offices next door.   we set up new cubes; lots'a physical labour.   i went to lunch @ roadrunner burrito in larkspur landing w/ the new engineer chris.   by the end of the afternoon, i knew i'd be staying late to get stuff done 4 a mtg the next morn.   kaela came to visit me!   i took her to dinner @ bongkot thai express in san rafael.   it was just a place we saw while driving thru san rafael.   we were in the mood 4 thai.   the restaurant has pages from our daily bread in the plastic frame on each table.   i 'member our daily bread n' campus journal, or cj.   u know them?   they're li'l booklets, daily devotional readings, quiet time (qt) guides, sorta.   my church used to give them out, n' iv used to have 'cj's.   neway, 'twas a good dinner.   then i went back to finish werk.   i went to sleep early cos'v the mtg in the morn.

i never rattled off tues's events.   erm, went to taekwondo practice, 168ed w/ beautiful kaela.   i talked to owen a li'l after werkout.   so he's officially going out w/ romy.   lo mi da chanh.   is that how u romanise it? we ate that @ 168, 'long w/ oh ah jien n' tsua bing.   n' i gave kaela her 0.5 anniversary surprise, tix to c les mis 2nite.   i got them a long time 'go, special thanks to liane n' nate.   so 2nite! we go!   this should be fun.   i saw les mis... uhm... sr yr of hs?   i don't go to musikals much, as u know.   hrm... can i eat in the theatre?

on tues, i went to jiffy lube in mill valley during my lunch break to get an oil change.   i know it's bad to go to jiffy lube cos they're pretty expensive, but 'least i had a coupon, n' i figure it's convenient, n' sometimes they have good service.   i ate @ whole fuds while i waited 4 my car.   i walked 'round mill valley.   it's really pretty.   the sky is so... azure.   u c mt. tam n' a beautiful blue sky 'bove it.   i stopped in a pet store run by asian ppl who talk like ned flanders.   hi diddly ho there, neighboroonie!   u know what?   i notice that ppl in whole fuds r very fit, as in thin.   i only saw 1 obese man there, as i ate.   they say obesity is inverse to economic level, right?   hrm...   *sigh*   that's 2 bad, but yah... i know that healthy fud is more expensive than greasy fast fud.   chals has lots to say in defense of skinny ppl.   am i skinny?   i don't wanna be fat.   i would never mind being a li'l beefier as in beeg n' bahf, but i don't wanna be dwaeji.

am i vain?   *sigh*   i like fashion n' shopping.   (not gay!)   i try not to judge ppl's worth by their looks.   i appreciate beauty... as in the beautiful kaela kang.   yes, i care 'bout how i look.   do i think i look good?   *sigh* i dunno.   am i vain?   vanity is a sin.   what is vanity tho?   think 'bout how ppl dress so nice to church.   hrm...   but it's cos u'r s'pposed to wear ur best 4 god, huh?   i wish i could look my best all the time.   hrm... that sounds vain.   don'tchu think it's fun to shop?   it's also good to do laundry.   i like getting haircuts often; i wish toby'd cut my hair every week.   kaela wants to try to cut my hair.   i'll let her... when we have time.

so we're s'pposed to go to avaron 2morrow nite.   i wonder if ne1's made the reservation.   is ken gonna have a bbq this weekend?   i'd like to hike in mt. tam sometime soon, climb mt. tam.   i think s.mike's done it.   i wanna.   s.mike owes me money, $263.59.   doing something like climbing mt. tam'd make me feel like i'm really enjoying norcal life to its fullest.   i don't own a mtn bike.   i'm glad i 'least snowboard.   it's great to live in the bay area: u can go clubbing every other weekend n' go snowboarding every other weekend, when there's snow.

afterwards, i swung by chals n' kyung's place cos i wanted to get chals's pager from him to make sure ken reactivates it ok.   i stayed n' talked 4 a li'l, but i wanted to go pick up the beautiful kaela kang cos i hadn't cn her the whole day.   so i picked up kaela n' brought her over to chals n' kyung's, where they were eating chicken curry w/ beer.   we had a li'l.   yah, we watched tv, as u may have read in kaela's journal.   we watched sliding doors.   i watched that b4.   please refer to my 14 december, 1998 entry, entitled "mid-december life".   that was a long time 'go, huh?   that's kewl that kaela likes gwyneth paltrow 2.   in that 1998 entry, i didn't talk 'bout how, when i went to san jo w/ cal n' was in br, 1 of my 4mer taekwondo students was werking there n' recognised me n' started talking to me, but i called her by the wrong name...   actually, i did something worse than that; i thought she was this other gurl i knew from intervarsity (iv or ivcf) n' had almost a complete conversation w/ her thinking she was some1 else.   *sigh*   yah, sorta embarassing, but i think they look alike.   if u 'member, in some old journal entry (please c "easter 1998" from 12 april, 1998.), i mentioned that i thought i had pretty good facial recognition skills...   like, i thought i was able to 'member my students' names well.   upes.

kyung is a nice guy.   kyung is very good w/ computers.   kyung is a fun n' funny guy.   i think kyung kewl.   we saw sandy last nite.   we saw her pics from europe.   looks like she had fun.   even tho' i always like the idea of spending vacation time in asia cos i'm obviously so into asian culture stuff, i also do like the idea of visiting europe n' cing all the kewl architecture n' art, all that old stuff.   ha ha.   n' i wanna taste fud n' buy stoopid tourist souvenirs.

last nite i went to a potluck @ chals's n' kyung's.   it was a fun dinner n' drinks nite w/ a few of their friends.   the beautiful kaela kang cooked soondubu jjigae.   i made some simple curry chicken.   after werk, i took kaela to pusan plaza to get us some groceries.   we had tons o' fud.   'twas lots'a fun.   kyung's a really nice guy, n' he runs linux on his 'puter.   that's not sumpthin' most ppl do @ home, but i always thought linux was a good idea when i was using it in lab.

u know, i liked that apple dumpling @ cheesecake factory, the 1 i had down in old town pasadena.   i really like my beanie baby robin.   it fits in my hand.   it's life size.   maybe i'll talk more 'bout last weekend now.   it was fun, as i keep saying.   i drove my subaru down.   yah, i was the only guy w/ the women on the way down n' back up.   the other guys joined us down there.   competitors were: kaela, brandie, darlene, deanna, amy cassel, catherine ahn, romy, pamela, minnie, sophia, n' brooke.   erin was s'pposed to compete, but she didn't know she was signed up.   that sucks.   i guess laura n' i were team managers.   linda was the coach.   alex went on the trip 2.   leo, sam, chals, n' jerome drove down 2gether in a big, rented boat of a car.   mike sia, patrick liu, n' mark biel... however u spell his last name... came to watch n' cheer.   joon came to watch n' cheer.   it's fun to be in l.a.   we saw some of the more "ghetto" areas of l.a., i guess, being near usc n' downtown l.a.   still, i think 'twas kewl.   i wanna spend a li'l more time in l.a.   i know ppl wanna go to 6 flags magik mtns.   yah, we should go.   neway, on that l.a. trip 4 the iwotc, i felt like i was hanging w/ a sorority, all these women.   i enjoyed the fact that the men's bathrooms were emptier since 'twas a women's tournament.   la memorial stadium's men's bathrooms have those trough urinals.   i relished peeing while walking sideways, thus covering more distance.   fun stuff.   a guy can draw on the wall above the trough w/ his piss.   i tried to explain my joy to the women.   some gurls talked 'bout what they know of urinal ettiquette.   they talked 'bout how guys r s'pposed to stare @ a spot on the wall while peeing next to 'nother guy.   u sure?   hrm...   imagine instead if guys looked down n' talked to their organs instead.   n' imagine if they regularly gave their organs names like sally n' jane.   "hey, jane.   how come u'r so small 2day?   last week u were so big.   rn'tchu happy nemore?"   hrm... maybe it's all 2 much like chungking express.   i wanna c scary movie.   i felt so fat n' lazy on the trip cos i didn't compete or werkout or nething.   i think 'twas really kewl that kaela did the miss world taekwondo contest.   i think that's really admirable.

so i've been really bizzy lately, n' i haven't been able to write much in this journal, huh?   luckily the beautiful kaela kang wrote more details 'bout the socal trip n' the iwotc.   i also just looked @ her updated webpage.   i did take note of the updated "love of my life" foto page.   *sigh* the things she says makes me so happy.   i really hope she means them all cos wow... her wurds really make me happy.   i'll always like her baby pics, 'specially the "yummy fingers" pic.   it's so strange to look @ those pics n' think that that baby's kaela.

2day kaela came into my office, n' i took her to lunch @ playa azul, this mexican restaurant in san rafael.   it's not the most glamourous or glitzy or zazzy or freshmex place, but it's got a really authentic feel to it.   i'm here @ werk late, writing this journal entry, n' i'm really full.   last nite, kaela n' i went to the rsf to do butt gallery stuff.   afterwards, after talking to leo, linda, n' others, we went to daruma to eat n' watch simpsons.   it feels good to get @ least a minimum dose of exercise whenever u can.

didju know i moved my desk out of the nice office i had, into a cubicle?   i have much less privacy now, n' there's lots'a construction noise.   this is temporary.   there's lots'a changes to my company's corte madera office.   there's also lots'a new employees.   geez, my company's growing n' changing so much!   2day, right b4 kaela arrived, i talked to our software tester judy, who actually graduated from cal in 98 in ib.   she also took 5 yrs to graduate, so we were @ cal @ the same time.   weird.   yah, werk's a lot bizzier now.   i'm often driving btwn our corte madera n' sf offices.   lately, i've been able to find street parking in sf.   if i go late 'nuff in the afternoon, i can park on the street thruout my whole visit to sf w/o getting a ticket.   i also save my company $11 each time i do that... 4 what that's worth.   (what's it worth? exactly $11.   ha ha.)   erm...   i'm so full of refried beans, chips, tostada, etc.

well, i kinda wanna cut out of here.   i still feel like i owe u all my detailed account of the socal trip.   really, u can trust what kaela sed.   ha ha.   *sigh*   well, eventually, i'll try to talk 'bout nething important that happened.   it's sorta like how i didn't give ne big report after coming back from korea last yr, but in the end, if there was nething important, i mentioned it.   i still have yet to eat a krispy kreme doughnut, u know.   i ought to go get a dental checkup!

i know ppl don't like reading the same dumb journal entry over n' over.   i've been gone, n' my readership has fallen, yah, i know.   'course i shouldn't care.   there's no prize 4 me getting tons o' readers, huh?   i mean, it feels nice to know ppl care what happens to me, but there's no need to be the top rated, most visted site on the net, huh?   ppl don't really pay me...   well, i do have some so.called "sponsors," i guess.   neway...   i don't have much time to write in my journal right now, but i'll mention that i was in l.a. from 06 july thru 09 july.   i went w/ the cal taekwondo women's team to the 1st annual international women's open taekwondo championships @ usc.   it was fun.   the beautiful kaela kang went n' won 2 silver medals.   i was happy to help the team out.   i think the cal women did great.   i'll try to tell u more details 'bout the trip soon but not now.   please stick 'round.   e.mail me, if u can.

it's 243a on x4j2000.   03 july: 3 b.days; alex kim, eugene kim, n' sam lee.   the only b.day kid i saw 2day (meaning yesterday) was sam.   we celebrated sam's b.day.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i gave him a white, crew neck sweater from club monaco.   i hope he likes it n' wears it.   a bunch'a us went to the cheesecake factory atop sf union square macy's.   big fud, bad service, good cheesecake.   our 12 got split into 2 groups.   (roll call: sam lee, his roommate dave, their friend grace, their friend daniel, deanna, darlene, leo, jerome, chals, erin, kaela, n' me.)   i had some okay fish tacos there.   jerome had this huge burger.   kaela had some jambalaya pasta, but we 4got the leftovers.   our table didn't leave a very good tip, i gotta say; but the service was pretty bad.   after dinner, we went to the outskirts of j.town, where k.town exists in sf, besides on geary near clement...   i wonder if someday this k.town, which surrounds j.town, 'll totally engulf n' take over j.town.   neway, we went to this noraebang bar resistance, (pronounced: "rei.ji.su.tang.su," think french.)   we had a fun time.   sam sang, the rest of us didn't.   we heard some good singers, some bad singers.   neway, that's the 3rd of july.   hopefully 2day, on x4j2000, we'll bbq n' watch firewerks.   i'd also like to do my laundry n' werk on more benomix stuff.

so yah, my last journal entry got cut short.   i was writing from a 'puter @ our sf office during my lunchbreak, but then a cowerker came back, so i cut my lunchbreak short to do some werk stuff.   neway, hrm...   man!   it's hard to write 'bout what i wanted to write 'bout on fri cos now it's sun.   *sigh*   i was gonna write 'bout fight club.   'twas a kewl movie.   hrm...   i thought it'd be an cheesy action movie, but i was pleasantly surprised to find out 'twas a psychological, thinking movie.   kewl.   i wouldn't be so lame as to say, "dude, i can totally relate" even tho' going to taekwondo practice can be a similar experience, but 'course not always.   jerome cooked pasta 4 us, yes.

fri, the beautiful kaela kang n' i picked up phil, n' we dined @ kirin on solano.   we had a nice, delicious, big dinner.   stuffed!   then we drove brandie to sfo, where she departed to visit her friend masa in atlanta, ga.   then the 3 of us went to watch me, myself, n' irene @ the sony metreon.   geez, watching a movie there can be expensive, but 'least ur car doesn't get broken into.   that's always a good thing.   'twas a funny movie, somethin' like watching there's something about mary; lots'a slapstick humour, jim carrey.   sometimes these kinds of movies can turn into 1 man shows, tho'; comedians can be sorta egocentric.   mmm... so the movie was a late show, n' we were up late.

sat, kaela went to sparring practice.   i had 2 much of a stomach ache, so i stayed home n' werked on benomixes.   then we got fud from flying maguro on shattuck.   mmm... yummy fud!   it's a darumaish, korean.owned japanese restaurant ('course daruma is owned by korean.speaking chinese instead) that serves all sorts'a stuff n' lots'a sushi.   we bought a bunch'a fud n' brought it over to toby's, so we could hang w/ toby, n' i could get a haircut.   then we went to 400-600p werkout which was more like 500-700p open werkout 4 us.   'twas kewl.   chals was there!   he was doing ufc fighting w/ some other guys.   then a bunch'a us went to pojangmacha 4 dinner.

n' that bring us to 2day.   i'm gonna bring kaela horseback riding 2day.   this should be kewl.   i can't wait.   we'd better leave soon!   it's a li'l past noon now.   hey, i never talked 'bout the ko hokyung album.   well, i wish it had more rock like her 1st album, but it's more like... u know that group mono w/ "life in mono"?   the song from great expectations?   there's songs on her 2nd album that sound like that.   her 1st album sounded like taiwanese rock.   that was sort'a kewl.   'course it's not like she's actually playing the musik; she just sings.

last nite, we practiced taekwondo.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i were late, but so were chals, sam, n' erin.   whuh? chals?!   yah, chals came to practice!   he finished his final 4 his session a summer skool class yesterday.   he borrowed sam's dobok, belt, n' t.shirt n' he came to practice.   wow!   kewl, huh?   i was overjoyed to c chals.   i rarely c him these days.   we practiced lots'a poomsae.   after practice, kaela n' i went to jerome's to eat his corkscrew pasta w/ 5 brutha's summer vegetable sauce w/ n' watch the strike episode of simpsons n' fight club w/ him.   josh also came later. [note: this journal entry got precluded, so please go onto the next journal entry.]

yah, last nite the beautiful kaela kang cooked jangjorim.   i can't believe we ate all of it!   well, lots'a protein...   mmm... there's jangjorim in chinese/taiwanese cuisine, but i dunno whatchu'd call it.   u'd call the eggs lo nen / lu dan.   hrm...   haven't had neuromien in a while.   but then 'gain, since we just ate all that jangjorim last nite, it's not like i'll be rushing to 168 to order neuromien 2nite!   protein, protein, protein.   but then last nite, after dinner, i just watched tv 4 a long time n' went to sleep.   i saw 2 episodes of voyager!   can u believe that?!   protein n' tv overload.   u know what'd be better than watching tv?   studying 4 the gre.   that'd be dope!

the foyer of my office bldg that has the men's restroom n' a staircase has lots of those yucky, yellow spiders w/ the black eyes, the 1s u sometimes c in san jo.   it's got lots'a them.   i wish my boss'd write a letter to the manager:

dear manager:

is it really necessary to have all those icky, nasty, yucky, yellow spiders everywhere?   our employees do not like them much @ all.   perhaps it'd be best if u collected all those icky, nasty, yucky, yellow spiders n' made a nice stew w/ them n' a few vegetables.   maybe u could make a curry dish or something.   then serve it over jasmine rice.   i'm sure u'r family'd love it.   well, please take my idea into strong consideration.   if u don't remove those icky, nasty, yucky, yellow spiders, my company'll be 4ced to move to berkeley n' blow up ur bldg.

thank u very much 4 ur time n' cooperation.

best wishes,
the president of beno's company

that'd be a dope letter, huh?   well, that's what my boss ought'a do.   i do not like spiders, but i'm not afraid of them.   when i was a kid, yah, i was scared of spiders.   i already toldju 'bout this... n' how my dad'd kill spiders 4 me.

so whatzup?   last nite, i came home from werk, took a nice nap, went to practice, n' 168ed w/ joon, jerome, clarence, n' the beautiful kaela kang.   i had noah's bagels 4 lunch, u know.   i got a stoopid parking ticket 'gain in the rsf lot.   i hate getting uc parking tickets.   parking in berkeley sucks.   jerome sed he'll pay 4 part of the ticket buy paying 4 the cds he ordered 4 me from angelpop.   if ne1 else wants to pitch in 4 the tick, give jerome some cash.

my dad sent me some pics from steve's graduation.   i'll post some of these pics on my family page when i get the chance.   n' i'll also make a graduation 2000 page 4 my benofriends section.   u know, this isn't something that's easy 4 me to say, but i really do love my family.   i guess, i know they're all reading this, so they know i'm saying it... n' that's good cos it's hard 4 most of us to ever say something so bold in person.   i know my mom can be so brave.   there is a time 4 sincerity n' vulnerability, a time 4 sensitivity n' caring.   so i want my family to know that i really do care.

last nite, i asked kaela all sorts'a questions 'bout getting into grad skool.   u know, joon n' jerome had some funny stories 'bout getting into college.   i mean, it's funny to hear 'bout undergraduate college admissions these days.   i realise that uc skools have gotten so much harder to get into lately.   it boggles my mind tho' why some ppl get rejected from ucsd or ucla but get into berkeley.   weird.   must be their essays or something, huh?   so @ 168, we talked a li'l 'bout colleges, universities, n' different campuses.   i still believe that berkeley students r the hardest werking students in the country, if not the world.   even if such n' such private skool or wherever has some higher reputation in this field or that, i think berkeley students still werk the hardest.

this afternoon, kaela n' i had a bad fon conversation 'bout some li'l thing...   altho' i sounded so impatient n' pmsed, i really do love her.

so i haven't written in a very long time!   well, i was very stomachsick the past few days.   u know that i had been feeling sick since last tues nite.   i took yesterday off of werk n' rested.   i went to a doctor on sun.   it's a big long story, so let's start the whole weekend wrap.up thingy.   well, on fri, we went to watch chicken run @ amc 1000 van ness.   i had napped 4 most of the evening.   only a small but potent contingency of the p.crew went: joon, jerome, the beautiful kaela kang, n' me.   a 1 car party went out to c the 1045p showing of chicken run.   we parked the millenium forester, bought our student rate tix, n' dined on fine cuisine from taco bell.   wow, jerome bought a lot.   my angry stomach could only eat so much.   i couldn't barely get thru my chili cheese burrito n' enchirito.   enchritos r back, but they rn't as good as when i was a kid.   taco bell has changed their cheese, n' enchiritos just rn't the same w/o the old cheese, the way they used to put tons o' sauce over them along w/ onions n' olives, n' how they used to be served in a bowl w/ a spork.   now that's how an enchirto's s'pposed to be!   well, i'll tell ya...   altho' the enchirito disappointed me, chicken run sure didn't!   chicken run!!!!!   i sure liked that movie.   it's got chickens!   i was feeling really sick b4 chicken run, but chicken run n' a coupl'a tylenol from kaela helped me get over the feverish shivers i was having.

on sat, we slept in.   then kaela n' i took brandie w/ us to sf.   we stopped by union square so i could get the security tag removed off a white, short.sleeved kenneth cole shirt i bought last weekend n' so brandie n' i could buy clarence gifts: a small br shoulder bag n' a grey t.shirt.   i figured he'd use that kind of bag cos he usually carries a butt pack.   oh, then we made our way to clarence's b.day bbq @ his house in twin peaks.   lots'a good fud, but my furious stomach wouldn't let me fully partake of the feast.   i did eat tho'.   lots'a good fud.   we watched most of the mummy.   'member how disappointed i was w/ it back when it debuted?   well, i enjoyed it more this time cos i had no good expectations of it.   then we went back to berkeley n' got ready 4 the simpsons marathon.   kaela n' i grabbed a sleeping bag, pillow, n' blankey from her place, so we could make ourselves com4table @ darlene's temporary apt.   it was quite a party.   lots'a ppl came!   beside kaela n' me, 'course darlene, jerome, joon, leo, deanna, cyrus, jimmy wang, brandie, clarence, dr. eric johnson, his friend karen, josh, romy, amy cassel, her friend suzy...   all sorts'a ppl.   we watched the whole marathon, we had some take out ddukbokki n' tong dalk from koko house n' a bunch'a snack junk fud n' drinks.

k, then sun...   i took kaela to the sfgh 4 her volunteer job.   she convinced me to go c a doctor there since my stomach was being so mean to me.   it took a while, but i saw some doctors.   the 1st doctor thought it might be acute appendicitis.   then the 2nd doctor came.   he figured it was just a viral infection, but his attendee, his sr., told him to do some tests... ugh, rectal examination.   ugh...   ok, so that was done n' over w/...   then the attendee came in n' pushed on my stomach in different places just like the 2 young docs had done.   so the final diagnosis was that 'twas just a viral infection.   so i was told to just eat simple carbs, just rice n' pasta, n' drink lots'a water or broth.   that's all.   after i was discharged, i went to the potrero hill safeway, bought a big french bread loaf n' a bunch'a gatorades, n' i sat in the parking lot n' ate bread n' drank gatorade.   then i drove 'round sf, trying to get to somewhere like coit tower to just sit.   supermike called me.   i talked to him.   i went to coit tower.   we kept talking.   supermike talked to me 4 2.5 hrs!   wow!   then i picked kaela up.   i took her to the pusan plaza on our way home to berkeley.

so yah, yesterday, i called in sick.   i rested.   kaela took me to lunch @ café de la paz on shattuck.   i'd been there 2ice b4.   i just had soup n' cornbread, but it was really good.   so many of the menu items looked so good, but i couldn't eat them.   i rested most of the day.   i took care of stuff like getting a refund from ashby lumber, putting some touch up paint on my car, n' burning a copy of jerome's club dj gayo vol 4 4 kaela.   i also just pondered life n' where i'm headed.   i wanted to think 'bout what i really want to do in life.   i surrendered to the idea that i'm going thru a 0.25 life crisis.   u think i am?   well, basically, i decided to keep my résumé all fresh n' ready, n' to think 'bout all my options in life regarding career n' education.   it's really hard to say...   what's the right path?   what's the right choice?   there r so many variables.   i dunno what's the "right" choice cos there r so many "good" choices, but i know i should choose the "best" choice.   it's so hard to say.

so i dunno if i'm getting better or sicker, healthwise.   *sigh*   the queasiness has subsided, but now i got a sore throat.   what's wrong w/ my health?   sorry to bog u down w/ all these updates on my health.   i know they're boring.   last nite the beautiful kaela kang n' i skipped taekwondo practice.   nuts.   but we did get to watch nbc's thurs nite line.up.   i gotta admit that nbc's thurs nite sitcoms r not 2 bad.   i guess when i think of tv n' sitcoms, i think of stuff like family matters n' full house, n' i get so turned off.   u know how i am: i only like to watch the simpsons, et cetera.   i dunno...   so we watched tv n' we ate kaela's miyuhkgook n' stuff.   can u believe we skipped practice?!

so i want to c chicken run 2nite.   2morrow, clarence's 21st b.day n' the 6 hr simpsons musical marathon on upn44.   i hope i c toby n' phil this weekend.

journal entry.   i know that an avg of 23 ppl visit my site per day.   carol 1nce asked me how many ppl visit per month.   well, i haven't been tracking hits/month very long, so i dunno... but it's 'bout 23 per day, carol.   neway, do 23 ppl read this space every day?   if so, i'd better say something interesting, huh?   uh, well, ain't that what all on.line journalists think 'bout?   we gotta think 'bout interesting stuff to say...   neway, that's 'nother topic 4 'nother day.   i talked 'bout it on 13 december, 1999 in "metajournal: the journal of an on.line journalist."   yes, 'nother day already happened, didn't it?

so i'm not so sick 2day.   i think kaela's still sick tho'.   she's gonna c a doctor 2day.   i had lunch @ togo's in larkspur 2day, so u know.   i'm ok w/ eating 2day.   yesterday, i really couldn't eat much.   my stomach felt so nasty.   so i skipped ultimate frisbee.   i organised the event but slept instead.   then i picked up kaela.   we looked 4 the frisbee ppl, but they left already.   i drove her up into the berkeley hills, n' we watched the sun set over the sf fog.   'twas the longest day of the yr.   now it's summer!   then we went to eat jook @ shk (sun hong kong).   kaela had abalone jook, n' i had seafud jook.   we also shared a big dish of chinese broccoli w/ oyster sauce.   the meal started out good, n' i was so eager to eat.   but as i ate, i started to lose my appetite.   the last pieces of seafud in my jook were so flavourless.   after eating, i still felt sick.   neway, 2day, i feel better.

after shk, we stopped by brandie's / kaela's future place.   kaela had to pick up her new checks that came in the mail.   brandie was talking to laura on the fon, so i got to talk to her 2.   wow.   i talked to laura.   also, i talked to supermike 2day.   i talked to supermike n' laura.   wow.   "now is a good time to make old friends," i 1nce sed, huh?

according to dictionary.com, "malaise" = "1. a vague feeling of bodily discomfort, as at the beginning of an illness.   2. a general sense of depression or unease."   i feel the 1st.   yucky, fluish, feverish, yucky yuckiness.   i started feeling like this after practice last nite.   then we 168ed.   i had a tsua bing n' zhen zhou nai cha n' also picked @ other ppl's fud.   the beautiful kaela kang had this red bean pancake thingy that reminds me of those red bean fish from j.town n' korean markets, 'cept this thing was really deep fried.   i also picked @ joon's fried mahnto n' joshes seafud panfried noodles, 'specially @ the greens.   neway, i felt sick last nite.   i woke up in a sweat this morning, n' i felt a li'l better, but i still feel sorta sick.   *sigh*   yucky yuckiness.

neway, i'm sure u wanna hear more than just 'bout my bad health.   lessee...   i can tell u 'bout how i went to the mill valley mc yuk yuk's yesterday n' bought 6 teenie beanie babies: 2 each of the int'l bears.   i had to buy a extra value meal to buy those, so i had the 2 chburger combo.   i ate 'bout 2/3 of my fries n' only 1 chburger, so i might as well have had a chburger happymeal, dontcha think?   i'm not so sure my stomach felt all that great after the chburger meal.   that was all i ate all day until 168.

so summer 2000 begins 2day.   nuts, n' where's benomix3?   no where to be found.   upes.   i really need to spend some time on it, non?   i'm asking all p.crew affiliates to please go play ultimate frisbee 2nite, just like we did last yr.   'member last yr?   please refer to: 22 june, 1999 "energizer bunny" n' 21 june, 1999 "summer begins today, the longest day."   in 1998, during this time i was in asia.   summertime.   *sigh*   i wish i could enjoy summertime the way i used to back when i was a student.   i could kick back more in the summer.   nowadays, i might hafta werk harder these days or whatever.   sometimes werk slows down a li'l in the summer cos ppl take vacations, sometimes.   what's gonna happen this summer?   i dunno.   sounds like we're gonna make maybe 2 more socal trips.   we're gonna go to the women's int'l open taekwondo tournament, n' we wanna go to 6 flags magic mtn.   i wonder if that'll be 2 or 1 trip.   i know that in the recent past, i've been using much of my money to do stuff 4 my car n' to invest in bad stocks.   that's not necessarily good, huh?   we should reminisce 4 a sec 'bout my life 3 yrs ago 'round this time of yr.   check out my 24 june, 1997 entry in the beno manifesto, pt. ii.   "now is a good time to make old friends," i sed.   "sometimes one needs to suceed.   sometimes...   one must lose sometimes in something, lose big!   then he or she will learn to appreciate victory and success."   typical benotalk, huh?   typical benophilosophy.   benoology?   benolosophy.

achy, achy, achy.   malaise.   i feel tingly in a bad way.   no good.   ugh.   so what's gonna happen?   what am i gonna do 2nite, this week, this weekend?   i'm planning to go to clarence lao's burthday bbq in sf on sat afternoon.   this sat evening is the 6 hr simpsons marathon on upn44.   what else?   it's good to relax.   relax, relax, relax.   i gotta werk on benomix3!   'gain i find that time progresses.   next yr, jerome'll be a jr.   there'll be new freshmen.   ppl come, ppl go.   i'll be turning 25 this aug.   hrm...   this paragraph sounds really depressing!   *sigh*   it's just the malaise talking.   i badly need a haircut.   i haven't been writing much e.mail lately.   what's going on?   keep in touch.

[later]   i really wanna c chicken run.   u know, i was telling kaela last nite how i like animation cos u don't think 'bout the characters as actors, just as characters.   it's easier to completely believe, right?

yesterday, the beautiful kaela kang n' i celebrated our 5th monthversary.   i took her to greens @ fort mason in sf.   it's a fancy vegetarian restaurant.   i 'specially picked greens cos it's unique n' has a ocean/bay view.   u can read my review @ dine.com.   i liked it.   kaela gave me teenie beanie babies from mc yuk yuk's.   (4 me, she had to eat 2 mc yuk yuk happymeals n' upset her stomach!)   2 dinosaurs, a bee, n' a dalmation.   i like.   kaela wore her new furryneck sleeveless top.   it's really glamourous, i think.   it's a li'l on the flashy side; right up my alley.   i mean, i like!   we had a very good dinner, full dinner.   then we went to watch m:i-2 @ amc 1000 van ness.   yah, the place where my car was broken into a coupl'a weeks 'go...   it sure feels good to come out of a movie n' not have ur care broken into!   the movie was awesome!   kaela liked it 2.   that's kewl.   altho' 'twas a tom cruise everything movie, john woo did a very good job w/ the action.   it was so much better than the 1st 1.   it wasn't much of a thinking movie, just a smash 'em up, bash 'em up, blow 'em up movie.   car go boom!   ha ha ha!   i like.   neway, we went on "a date," as they say...   'twas the classic date: dinner n' a movie, a boy n' a gurl... coca.cola classic.

well, 5 months.   really has been 5 months, huh?   i guess time flies.   i'm happy w/ this beno/kaela relationship tho'.   not just "content," happy.   i wouldn't want to be in a relationship, "just cos."   no, no way.   i want to be w/ kaela.   i wanna get w/ that gurl.

ah, i haven't written all weekend!   i love weekends.   who doesn't?   hrm...   maybe some ppl don't.   so fri...   i went home n' slept.   then i woke up n' watched tv w/ joon n' josh.   kaela called a few times, expecting me to be having some wild nite w/o her, but each time my status report was the same: "i'm watching tv w/ joon n' josh."   actually, darlene was also there 4 a while b4 she left cos she had to teach the sat morn sparring class w/ deanna.   we watched that greed show, star trek voyager, n' the simpsons.   i also was going thru the cds of music videos that jerome gave me.   i hadn't cn them in a long time.   i didn't realise that he gave me the sechkies' "yeigam" video.   he gave me 3 cds all @ 1nce, n' i didn't have as much time, @ that pt, to watch videos.   neway, eventually, joon, josh, n' i got out of the house.   initially, joon wanted boston market frozen dinners from safeway, but i convinced him that we should go to brother's korean barbecue instead.   so josh drove us out to sf, we ate, we cruised, then josh dropped me off w/ kaela @ 300a, n' kaela drove herself n' me back to berkeley.

sat, joon, kaela, n' i hung out...   1st, we ate @ yeitnal jjajang.   still joon didn't get to have jjajangmyuhn there cos he ate tonkatsu n' gyoza from daruma earlier.   'least he had a patbingsoo (tsua bing).   the sign sed, "baedal wonhaseiyo?"   joon was really happy cos they can deliver to my apartment.   i wonder if he's really gonna order fud from there.   after lunch, we went to sf union square to shop @ macy's.   yah, we got deanna a nice guess outfit, kaela got a top from the women's guess dept., i got a coupl'a kenneth cole shirts, n' joon got some kewl, new shades.   a full 2-3 hrs of shopping.   then we went to the mc yuk yuk's by the cable car stop.   teenie beanie babies!!!!   k, then we went back to the east bay n' went to pusan plaza.   i'm glad kaela sorta approved of what i considered to be the best korean market 1 can find in oakland...   i haven't been inside eugine market; it might be good 2.

well, we got ready n' got to koko house by 'bout 930p, altho we should'a been there @ 900p.   deanna's 19th burthday party.   we picked up phil.   ken joined us.   later chas wareing n' tim chen joined us.   initially, i was nervous that it was kind'a awkward that i sorta invited some old friends to stop by n' hang w/ me @ this opportunity, but they got to know ppl, n' every1 had a good time.   it's funny cos phil had dr. eric johnson as his physics 8a ta; ken did 2!   funny.

sun, kaela n' i went shopping 4 master lim's present.   b4 that, we ate some chicken/asparagus stirfly n' the jogae chut from pusan plaza.   then we went out to bear basics to shop 4 master lim's cal fleece.   we just barely missed the surprise @ kip's cos we went to the bofa to get cash.   sung had told master lim that he was gonna have dinner w/ kaela n' me.   but then every1 showed up, so it was a surprise to him.   master lim's going away party...   *sigh*

2morrow is kaela n' beno's 5th monthversary.

4 1nce i'm gonna stay in good ol' buhkeulri this weekend.   no san jo, no socal, nuthin'.   2nite, i need a babysitter.   the beautiful kaela kang'll be @ her volunteer job, so some1 needs to keep me distracted till i meet up w/ her 'gain.   i'm gonna hang w/ toby from 600-800p, n' joon's volunteered to hang w/ me after that.   so who wants to hang w/ me n' joon?   maybe u can drop me off w/ kaela @ 300a.   then she can take me back to buhkeulri.   i was thinking that maybe we should hang out in sf.   we haven't gone to noraebang in a while, i was tellin' joon.   we could go to doraemi in j.town, but i hear it's always crowded.   so what else is there to do?   wouldn't go clubbin' w/o my seiksihan yuhjah.   wouldn't be as much fun.   hrm...   what can we do?   brother's is open till 300a.   mel's diner is open late.   j.town denny's is open late.   hrm...   maybe we'll figure somethin' to do.

the beautiful kaela kang has a bizzy bizzy schedul 2day.   runnin' in between sf n' the east bay over n' over.   she came to corte madera to luncheon w/ me.   she heard i went to fresh choice yesterday.   she 2 likes fresh choice.   so i went to fresh choice 2 days in a row.   whoa.   my mom likes fresh choice, n' i think my dad likes fresh choice.   as i sed, my cowerkers don't cm to like fresh choice, n' some others don't cm to like it, so i'm glad kaela'll go w/ me.   i went 2 days in a row.   it's like having a meal plan @ the dc!

while bending down to pet a dog, my killer loop "treacherous" sunglasses fell out of my shirt breast pocket.   nuts, the frame's a li'l scratched.   *sigh*   neway, doggy!   *sigh*   so what's up?   who wants to have fun?   u know whatchu should do?   sign my g.spot.   thank u.

talk 'bout the weather: yesterday was scorchingly hot, n' 2day's very windy.   after werk, i purposely drove from my office to costco w/o ne ac.   why?   i dunno.   sometimes i want to be a minimalist, prove that i can live w/o luxuries n' can endure.   i guess that was the reason, i dunno.   i noticed the subtle drops in temperature as i crossed the san rafael bridge n' as i entered the pt. richmond area, where costco is.   i appreciated those drops in temperature cos the other areas were so hot.   if i had the ac on, i wouldn't have appreciated the not.so.hot places as much as i did.   don't take sub 100° f weather 4 granted!   nope!

so yah, yesterday, on our way back from our sf office, my cowerker eric n' i ate @ in.n.out in mill valley.   i had a 2 by 2 animal style, fries, n' a small drink.   wow...   in.n.out.   talk 'bout unhealthy fud!   but eh!   just felt like trying out the new mill valley location, n' i hadn't had a dead cow burger in ages.   yah, i wish we could bbq; that sure'd be fun.   i wonder if ppl'd be interested in bbqing this sat.   that idea'd be dope, right?   the sf office in the cali4nia pacific medical center had no ac, or 'least a very weak ac.   u know, there used to 'nother ac unit in that office, but i was told to rip it out cos we converted the server room into a marketing office 4 a short time.   i dunno.   after werk, yah, i went to costco n' met kaela there.   i mean, we planned it that way.   i was waiting 4 her n' decided to purchase some costco snack bar fud.   i got a butter pretzel n' a vanilla frozen yogurt.   u know, i haven't had frozen yogurt w/ toppings in a long time.   i should go to yogurt park sometime.   how 'bout a mcflurry?   the fud was a lot to eat.   kaela showed up.   i gave her the rest of my frozen yogurt, but she didn't want ne pretzel.   oh well.   we shopped 4 a while.   i picked up pics from the socal trip.   there r some really kewl pics.   kaela's really pretty.   many pretty kaelapics.   i like using the panoramic size setting on my elph camera since panoramic prints r the same price as others @ costco.   they came out really nice, most the pics.   there's a pic of kaela n' me b4 we left 4 the 1st nite @ miyagi's, that hollywood fratparty club.   i think that's a nice pic.   kaela looks really good in that pic.   particularly good, i say.   it's like having a pic of me w/ a movie star or model or something like that.   there's some pics we took @ the bernard dr. sign from "beno at the crossroads."   hrm...   is it time 4 a new "crossroads" page?

crossroads...   that sure was a period of major change in my life.   end of a relationship, career change...   social changes.   but u know, revolutions like that happen in life when gradual progress doesn't happen.   maybe i didn't let my life progress 'nuff when i was going out w/ vivian.   hrm...   u know, it's 1 of those things like what i sed to phil: he sed that ppl don't grow in relationships, just in between, but i sed that in a good relationship, a healthy relationship, ppl grow.   it's always something good to keep in mind.   hrm...   but i've been dispensing 2 much relationship advice lately, since i was talking to ken 'bout relationship stuff 2 nites go, right?   well, hrm... my life's progress...   yah, i should take care of my life's progress.   what do i want to do?   yes, i want to have a good engineering career.   i want to do taekwondo n' my deejay stuff 2.   i like having a webpage n' this journal.   n' of course, a big priority in my life is having a relationship w/ kaela.   that's very important to me.   i value kaela.   i also value my other friends.   hrm...   so neway...   crossroads...   it's important to think 'bout life.

neway, after costco, after kaela found out she wasn't mtg w/ her new apt manager, we went to the rsf n' lifted.   as kaela sed in her journal, i wasn't totally satisfied w/ my werkout.   well, that's not totally true.   it's not that i felt i didn't get a werkout; it's just that i miss the days of m.crew, when dave n' supermike'd lift w/ me.   that was real lifting.   we'd bench w/ the olympic free weights, n' i'd push myself to max out.   if i don't lift w/ guys like them, then i'll just use the nautilus machines, n' i won't max out.   i like feeling sore after a good werkout.   after leaving the rsf, we took off our shirts cos it was so warm.   so we went back to kaela's place, n' i finally mixed up the almond jello w/ fruit: fruit cocktail, lychee, mandarin oranges.   yum yum jello.   what a hot nite!   we turned on the fan, this n' that, but we were still hot.   we watched the simpsons n' the debut episode of 3rd rock.

2day, @ lunch, i walked by myself out to the corte madera town center n' ate lunch by myself @ fresh choice.   i haven't done much walking 'round by myself since my office moved to corte madera.   corte madera's a fine place to walk, so i ought to do it more.   'course it's also much easier to drive in corte madera than in sf.   some ppl know, i don't like eating @ sit down restaurants by myself.   but i did it.   ppl @ my office don't like fresh choice, but i think it's ok, 'specially since it's got healthier fud.   this asian mom n' baby sat near me.   what a cute baby.   well, it was a good walk n' lunch.   u know, yah... those walks by myself...   i used to do that so much in sf.   i'd walk down clement or geary in the asian areas, or else i'd walk down sacramento or cali4nia 2wards to that fillmore st area or to whole fuds or places like that.   i 1nce or 2ice walked out to the usf area.   i walked to the presidio b4.   when i werked @ ebmud i took walks.   c, there's less danger in thinking n' walking.   when u think n' drive, u sometimes can getchurself into danger, non?   so walking is good.

i don't understand why, when there's road construction, u c "usa" w/ arrows spray painted on the pavement.   do u know why?   ppl don't e.mail me nemore.   it's sad.   please mail me.

yesterday, after werk, i stopped by kaela's n' ate grapes.   i drove kaela's kia yesterday cos i dropped my subaru off @ albany ford subaru on mon nite b4 kaela n' marissa went to sign the lease w/ their manager barbara n' their landlord hashim @ hashim's restaurant café del sol.   it looks like a nice restaurant.   ppl cm to prefer the big, meat topped salads.   hashim's a strict landlord.   i mean, he's strict, but i'll hope he's a nice guy.   he gave me a coke.   the mtg took quite a while.   kaela n' i planned to go to the rsf, but r plans got botched by the long mtg.   instead, afterwards, we went to andronico's n' picked up some groceries.   i cooked asparagus chicken @ kaela's.   nuthin' fancy.   we also had some romano salad.   2 much fud!   no werkout n' 2 much fud!   i'm surprised, tho', that i'm maintaining my weight ok.   i've been holding a steady 149 lbs 4 quite a while now.   'course i was 139 lbs back in nov of last yr.   that's what owen wants to be... well, he wants to be below 137 to be a bantamweight.   he's a 6' or 6'1" guy @ 142# right now.   can u believe that?   he looks really skinny.   neway...   back to mon nite: i started making almond jello 2, but it needed to sit n' solidify.   i was pretty worn out after eating...   kaela washed the dishes.   *sigh*   i'll always feel bad cing my gf wash my dishes.   hrm...   i don't want her to do domestic chores 4 me...   hrm...   i dunno...

so... tues, i drove 'round in kaela's kia.   i had a long mtg @ werk.   we had round table pizza 4 lunch.   after werk, i stopped by kaela's n' ate grapes, as i sed.   then we went to target to buy kaela a lumbar support cushion 4 her car, some other car accessories 4 her, n' a new shower curtain 4 me.   i picked a clear curtain, so the shower'll have more light.   it'll prob'ly look nastier when it gets durty tho', huh?   oh well.   kaela dropped me off @ albany ford subaru.   i just had a body panel replaced under warranty, n' i had them redo the alignment cos i don't think they did it right the 1st time...   n' that was 1 expensive alignment job!   it was pretty shady how they charged me so much.   i should've waited till their periodic coupons got mailed to me...   *sigh*   what a waste of money!   the alignment was out cos'f jerome's accident.   *sigh*   neway, car all happy now.   we stopped by my apt, i picked up my gear n' dropped off some stuff, then we went to practice.   'specially during times when i feel out of shape, i really, really, really'd prefer to get to practice early.   we were ok as far as being on.time.   i had to talk to sung 'bout master lim's party 2.   practice was good.   i really like how master yoon teaches us a variety of stuff.   he's a good instructor.

u know, last week he asked me 'bout how come, when i bow the class in, i call him "suhnsaengnim," n' then the upper dan "gohdan suhnsaengnim" or "gyohdan suhnsaengnim."   (i'm not 2 sure what "gohdan" or "gyohdan" means, but ppl say it's somethin' like "high rank."   i also know the term "gyohsoo" 4 "professor," n' i know ppl have some term "gyohsanim" 4 instructor...   maybe "gyohdan" comes from that.   i really dunno.)   i know that's weird cos it makes it sound like the upper dan outrank the masters.   i told him that's just the way we do it 'round here.   some ppl call the upper dan "yoodanjanim," but we all know that that's also not quite right cos "yoodanja" means "black belt person," n' the 1st n' 2nd dan ppl r also yoodanja.   dr. min recently lectured matt geiss 'bout that... but actually matt said "gyohdanjanim" but dr. min heard him wrong.   so i've always used "suhngsaengnim"/"gohdan suhnsaengnim."   neway, since it cmed to bother him, last nite, while bowing the class in n' out, i referred to master yoon as "sabuhmnim," which is more appropriate neway, but it's not s.o.p. (standard operating procedure) 'round ucmap.   it just isn't.   neway, he didn't say nething to me 'bout it, so i'll assume it's fine by him.   c, ain't that just the prob w/ learning korean from ppl who don't know how to speak korean?   i went thru a lot of that from ucmap; that's 4 sure.   but master yoon is making us speak more korean, so i guess things'll improve 'round here in that aspect.

we 168ed after practice.   clarence, patrick, joon w/ his crispy duck duck, owen, shun, jeff wang, their friend christina, n' kaela n' me.   i had 2 much to eat!   the chicken naeng myun (something like "ji siu nahng mien"), a tsua bing, n' a zhenzhou nai cha.   ugh! 2 much!!!   joon n' clarence both had crispy duck duck, mmmm...   i didn't have ne of that tho'.   yum yum duck.   quack quack duck.   2 much fud 4 beno.

so neway, i rattled off all the details of my life 4 the past coupl'a days, huh?   now i'd like to leave the rattling off n' just talk.   i figure this kind'a talk is more interesting to u all.   as always, i apologise 4 rattling off details n' assure u that i do it just 4 my own selfish sake, so i can, yrs from now, remember what i did, right?   right.   *sigh*   so phil wrote me an interesting e.mail.   it was like a "beno journal" entry or something... well, better than that!   phil's a better writer.   i shared the e.mail w/ kaela, n' she liked it 2.   i wish i could share the e.mail w/ every1.   phil ought to have his own dang journal!   i warmly welcome him to write a guest entry in my journal.   his e.mail talked 'bout supporting small biznesses n' good intentions...   keepin' it real.   i'm really glad phil took taekwondo last semester.   it's true that he's now stepped foot into my world, had a taste of what my life is like.   true.   true dat, true dat.

my cowerker alfred leaves 2nite on vacation.   when he gets back, he'll be married.   his wedding'll be in lebanon, where he was originally from.   wow.   u know, single guys should remember that they'll prob'ly not meet their future wives/gfs in either the men's bathroom or the men's locker room.   i dunno.   i 'member reflecting on that back when i was a non.hooked up guy.   i had a long, "deep" conversation w/ ken last nite 'bout relationships.   it's a warm day in the bay area.   i'm gonna go to costco.   it's flag day 1nce 'gain!

characteristic polynomial.   in linear algebra n' mech e controls classes, we just called it the "char poly."   so i had this joke, that i told to toby, n' he liked it.   this was a long time 'go.   neway, imagine an asian parents saying: "my son...   he not go hahbah, he not go buhkulree, he not go sutanfuh.   he go char poly."   dumb joke.   but it was 1 of those dumb, completely senseless/inane things that toby n' i could talk on the fon 4 hours 'bout...   like how we'd go: "wo shir hurshee skwur!   ding! ding! ding! ding!   ni shir hurshee skwur!   ding! ding! ding! ding!"   that was the imitation of beijing opera that i made up, n' toby n' i'd go 'round saying that 4 a very long time to each other on the fon, going thru various variations.   hrm...   yah, it was a big waste of time; we could'a been doing something productive, like our math 54 homewerk, but we'd sit n' do that instead.   *sigh*   weird, huh?   i haven't cn toby in a while.   andy sed he saw toby running @ clark kerr.   i should run.

so this weekend, we (primarily meaning the beautifulkaela kang n' i) went down to san jo, then down to steve's graduation n' grace's b.day party down in san luis obispo (slo), n' back up to san jo.   we got a very late start to going down to san jo.   i told my mom we'd be home 4 dinner, but far from such luck.   we took a long time getting out of berkeley, aka b.town.   since we didn't eat dinner yet, we stopped @ the taco bell / kfc drive.thru on telly, 'cross the street from koko house.   *sigh*   i miss my pager.   i was fascinated w/ the idea of ordering chicken n' tacos in the same order.   i know linda buell 1nce left some leftovers from a combined kfc / taco bell order in my car.   in fact, i got the same combo meal that she must've had that nite.   the nite she left the fud in my car, i think, was the nite we watched being john malkovich.   that nite i had to bring some fast fud to etcheverry hall 4 supermike n' his lab partner, tyson.   he asked me to go out to j.box.   i was gonna give him linda's leftovers 2, but i 4got.   that was a sat nite, n' s.mike told me he'd go preseason snowboarding w/ me @ northstar that following sunday, but he bailed on me.   instead, i drove up to tahoe all alone n' met up w/ meng n' darlene in truckee, where they spent the nite @ the holiday inn express.   ah, i c... that was thanksgiving weekend of last yr!   here, take a look: "catfish," 29 november, 1999.   ah, 1999...   what a yr!   wow, that was the same weekend that we watched sleepy hollow.   wow! i was just telling kaela 'bout how i made every1 watch both sleepy hollow n' the mummy cos i wanted to c scary movies, but i was disappointed w/ the movies both times.   every else cmed to like the mummy more than i did...   'bout the same w/ sleepy hollow.   the only good thing 'bout sleepy hollow was the costume n' set design.   it was so lame that the hessian soldier didn't talk, but just went "aaaargh!   aaaargh!" all the time.   geez, since when did german sound like that?!   u'd think he was some kind of swamp monster or something.

man, i don't get much e.mail these days.   where is every1?   friends do make me happy.   please e.mail beno.   phil should e.mail beno.

so yah...   fri nite, i drove kaela down to san jo.   we got there late, n' we didn't eat my mom's spaghetti that nite.   my dad was staying in san jo @ my mom's house.   we pretty much got ready 4 bed as soon as we got home.   there was a big spider in my room.   kaela sorta screamed as i killed it.   i didn't have nething to whack it w/, so @ 1st, i used my cell fon...   of all the things to kill a spider w/...   can u believe that?   wow, what a useful device!   a cellular communication device n' spider whacker, all in 1!   neway, this was a big spider, so it wouldn't die w/ just 1 whack; that only injured it, 'specially since it was a shag carpet.   so i asked kaela 4 something else to whack it w/ cos i didn't wanna keep banging my cell fon.   she handed me my old sf 49ers hat i got from mcdonald's, n' which i wore on my 8th grade trip to washington d.c.   so whack! whack! whack! n' the spider was delimbed n' incapacitated.   i went to the bathroom n' got some teepee to pick up n' crush the spider's body.   my mom came out of her bedroom cos the noise woke her.   i told her 'twas just a spider.   i wasn't sure if she heard me cos i sorta mumbled, but i think she did understand cos she was satisfied w/ my answer.   *sigh*   so what goes on in a spider's head as i kill it?   geez, spiders...   8 legs; they sure run fast.   i sure don't like spiders 2 much.   of course, when i was a kid i hated n' detested spiders, n' i was scared of them.   my dad had to kill spiders 4 me.

father's day is coming up.   yah, my dad used to kill spiders 4 me.   when did i ever start killing spiders 4 myself?   i dunno... middle skool?   @ 1st, i'd always use long range weapons like rubber bands n' stuff, or else, mid range chemical warfare, like hairspray et cetera.   eventually, i learned to just engage them hand.to.hand.   well, since father's day is coming up, let's also discuss the time that my dad built 4 me a giant pac man halloween costume.   'twas made out of cardboard from some big boxes.   he cut out piece to make a 3d pacman costume, yes.   wore it 'round my body. my arms n' legs stuck out.   i wore a yellow sweater underneath.   he cut an eyehole to c out of.   he made it so ppl could put candy into my pac man mouth into a receptacle.   so i was this big, yellow circle/cylinder w/ black eyes n' a mouth.   i went trick 'r treating.   sometime in the nite, i tripped down some steps, n' i rolled down cos i was so round.   *sigh*   i wish i had pics of that costume.   'least i have memories.

neway, fri nite...   sleep.   sat morn, i woke up on time, i guess, prob'ly due to hustle n' bustle, i dunno.   'twas like 700a or so.   i tried to wake kaela up 1nce or 2ice, n' then gave up 4 a sec n' went back to bed.   i had already brushed my teeth n' done some other morning things.   my mom caught me back in my bed n' she chewed me out cos we had to leave in like 10 mins or so @ 730a.   i guess, i then made sure kaela was up n' out of bed.   then we got ready.   my dad drove us in his rented, white chevy malibu.   he had doughnuts/fritters n' baked, chinese buns 4 breakfast.   greasy fritters!   kaela n' i quickly fell asleep, while my dad drove on 101s.   so now kaela had met my dad.   we stopped somewhere close to slo to go to a j.box.   there, kaela bought a large soda.   strawberry min maid soda, she liked.   my cocktail of coke, lemonade, n' diet coke, which i made while she was in the restroom, she detested!   i dumped that out n' got more strawberry min maid.   self.serve sodas.   my sister had prepared brunch 4 her n' steve's guests, so we didn't eat.   so we got to pismo beach.   lots'a steve's family was there: his parents, tom n' claudine lynch; his older brutha scott, scott's pregnant wife michele, n' their 2 yr old daughter katie; uncle ted (claudine's younger brutha), aunt mary.jane, their elder son collin, n' their younger son patrick.   so my mom n' dad, kaela, n' i joined them all in grace n' steve's pismo beach apt.   i wish i could'a showed kaela the beach, which is just less than a block 'way from their apt; but we had no time.   *sigh*   so we brunched: quiches, salmon / cream cheese on crackers, fruit salad w/ mango n' papaya, strawberries n' cream, crackers n' dip, fruit cookies...   yum, yum.   i was still sorta full from that greasy fritter quarter n' the 0.25 of the hong do bao that i ate.   i started feeling hungry later in the afternoon tho'.   neway...   hung 'round n' talked 'bout stuff.   then we took 3 cars to the slo campus.   pregnant michele (w/ 1 'l') was to join us later.   i was so surprised to c that ted n' mary.jane drove a subaru outback since there r very few subarus in socal.   a green subaru, green like mine, but w/ a usc license plate holder instead.   steve's graduation had 2 parts: the big futbol stadium ceremony w/ 0.5 of the cal poly colleges, n' the college of architecture n' environmental design ceremony in the rec center basketball gym.   after the ceremonies, we went to dinner @ the madonna inn, which i noticed on our way down.   i took notice cos my cowerkers talked 'bout it n' its theme rooms.

congratulations steve!   happy burthday grace!

the madonna inn n' all its beef!   i had the prime rib, cooked medium rare.   most ppl 'round me had the filet mignon.   i thought 'twas a pretty good meal.   i liked it.   we gave the couple their presents.   we gave steve a dress shirt from br n' grace a tightly sealing, decorated, glass fruit canister thingy.   we figured those were things they'd use.   u know...   i was thinking, as i watched katie, 'bout how i actually sorta remember being that age.   i 'member sitting in a stroller.   weird.   i 'member 'twas a yellow n' orange plaid stroller, no cover or nething.

well, after dinner, my dad drove my mom, kaela, n' me back up to san jo.   it was late.   we stopped @ a chevron to use the bathroom.   there was some carnival nearby, w/ live mexican musik.   it sounded so lively, n' 'twas loud.   it was in spanish; even the emcee spoke in spanish.   the chevron bathroom was stinky, not my fault.   kaela n' i slept in the car both on the way down n' on the way back.   it was so hard to stay awake in the car, i dunno why.   it's not often that i get to ride in the backseat of a car instead of driving it.   well, we got back to san jo, n' kaela n' i watched snl, n' my parents went to sleep.   kaela wanted me to show her fishmasters on channel 8 cos we saw a videotape in grace n' steve's collection labelled "fishmasters."   i introduced them to that show, i think.   it's this funny wayne's world.ish, low budget show 'bout these 2 bumpkinny duds, not 2 bright, but 1 dumber than the other... like dumb n' dumber...   n' they want to go fish everywhere, but they get into all sorts of trouble.   it's really funny, but i dunno if it's on nemore.   here's a website 'bout them: warning: the fishmasters.   snl was a rerun.   channel 8 was 2 blurry to watch, but there was no fishmasters on neway, just an snl re.run.   so we went to sleep.

wow, we slept in late!   we ate my mom's spaghetti as our brunch meal.   we did laundry n' watched the video 'bout my great.grandparents n' the hwang family history.   it was a longer video than i remember it being.   neway, we finally got out of the house.   i proved to kaela that san jo has a j.town, then i brought her to valley fair.   i meant to show her more of the el camino asian/korean area, but we stayed @ valley fair 2 long.   i bought her a replacement pair of maui jim sunglasses to replace the 1s stolen in the break.in.   this time i made sure i paid w/ my discover card, so i can claim it if it were to get stolen 'gain.   *sigh*   well, we met my mom @ sushi masa 4 dinner.   the sunglass hut cashier took a long time.   we made my mom wait 4 so long.   well, we had an excellent sushi dinner @ sushi masa.   mmmm...   spider roll, eel roll, rainbow roll, uni, mirugai, salmon skin roll, salmon roll, cali roll...   yum, yum, yum.   sushi sure is good, ain't it?   well, after dinner, kaela n' i packed up.   we swung by ken's cos he's giving me n' my friends all his old taekwondo equipment.   since ken was @ 1st bizzy @ kinko's copies, i drove kaela by the greystone lane new houses.   my mom had told me to look @ some house out there earlier.   we only saw 1 house 4 sale, n' 'twas sold.   nice, big houses.   joon's living in my apt cos he's looking 4 housing.

friends don't let friends eat their other friends!   duck! duck! duck!   quack! quack! quack!   yum yum duck.   uh oh.   these past few days have been quite bizzy @ werk, so i've been going home right after werk instead of staying later n' writing long journal entries.   we've had lots'a mtgs, which means free lunch.   that's good, wouldn'tchu say?   well, 2day's fri.   "friday, i'm in love."   just think 'bout all the cure n' smashing pumpkins references phil'll drop in his usual e.mail to beno.   just think.   please think.   it's good to reference the cure, smashing pumpkins, depeche mode, the smiths, n' the simpsons.   if i were an english ta, i'd give extra pts 4 those types of references n' allusions.   yes, indeed.   "call me morbid, call me pale.   i spent six yrs on ur trail..."   i heard "half a person" (the smiths) in bear basics 2 days ago when i was shoppin' 'round telly ave.   i was surprised to hear it.   then some stoopid sales associate asks the cashier what the musik is cos he didn't like it but he "don't like to judge musik by lyrics..." or something like that.   (ever heard the term "some $#!+ up" used in place of "something"?   if i were to use it, i'd make it 1 wurd: "sum$#!+up.")   well, in ne case he's a pretty big ignoramus cos he doesn't know a very fundamental modern rock classic yet he considers himself 1 of the "so phucin' alternative" bunch.   ha ha.   do u know what i mean, tho?   i mean, he's "that type" of guy who u can tell thinks he's "so phucin' alternative," yet he doesn't know something so basic.   phil doesn't like the smiths.   it has something to do w/ some snooty, snobby gurl in hs liking the smiths n' morrissey.   (i know that that last sentence didn't have good grammar... a gerund should be treating like a noun, modified by "snobby gurl's" somehow, but it'd sound 2 awkward.)   "in the days when u were hopelessly poor, i just liked u more."   why does "half a person" stick in my head so well?   i think fahad liked that song a lot or something.   just think 'bout all the guys who show up to cure concerts dressed like morrissey, n' all those who show up to depeche mode concerts dressed like robert smith.   so i was telling kaela n' ken last fri @ the cure concert, the 1st time i went to a cure concert, i was 'bout the same shape as robert smith (bob) is now.   funny, huh?

"so if u have 5 secs to spare..."   check out the lyrics: lasid - half a person.   duck, duck, duck.   just think.   duck: ur friend.   duck: ur fud.   strange, huh?   so i got my car washed 2 days 'go @ touchless on kittredge n' oxford.   whatchu think 'bout that carwash?   i felt that the employees werked so hard to clean my car, 'least the inside.   i tipped them a li'l.   but, later, then i realised they completely missed the roof, pretty much.   that's quite disappointing, wouldn'tchu think?!   like, they did a really good job on the interior; i saw them wipe n' vacuum 4ever.   so, yes, i shall make almond jello sometime soon 4 kaela.   2morrow is steve's graduation.

i never wanna take my friend 4granted.   duck duck.   sometimes i wonder if i'm addicted to the social scene, if i gotta have a large group of friends 'round me all the time.   but, i dunno...   maybe that's not a legitimate worry.   i really think there r positives to having lotta friends 'round.   friends r good!   duck delicious.   tastyduck.   when ur car breaks down, ur friends loan u theirs.   ur friends help u move furniture.   ur friends make u laff, n' they eat w/ u.   . . . if u don't eat them 1st: duck duck duck duck.   earlier this week, i got to play w/ my cowerker benn's pit bull named amber.   she's so cute!   *sigh*   puppydoggy.   yah, benn spells his name w/ 2 'n's; no typo.   on tues nite, we had fud n' drink @ mandarin house, yes.   asparagus chicken.   kaela bought me a peanut boba.   there's a new taiwanese boba caf´ on bancroft: quikley's tea, or something like that.   $1.75 per cup, n' they use the real cellophane seal thingy.   joon sez his parents say guys shouldn't eat the wings (of chicken) cos then they'll be like horny playa roosters.   josh sez gurls shouldn't eat the wings, or else they'll be harlotsluts.   hrm...   weird, huh?   so which is it?   or should we just throw the wings of chickens away, feed them to doggies?   but then we'll have such promiscuous doggies...   which means more puppies.   good or bad thing?   don'tchu just love folklore?   oral tradition.   quack quack.

"friends r friends 4ever, if the lord's the lord of them."   'member that?   michael w. smith, right?   friends n' cliques: how long do u think the average clique survives?   cliques 4m, n' cliques end.   they end cos: 1) many of the main consituents geographically move, even tho' it's easy to communicate via the net or 2) ppl get sick of each other cos there r 2 many internal disputes n' old grudges.   maybe there r more reasons.... hrm...   i guess ur friends can die off or get transmogrified into zombie monsters or something.   so what's the average lifetime of a clique?!   somebody please tell me.   many cliques don't really die off.   current "hang out" friends turn into old "keep in touch" friends.   right?   hrm.   does this sound 2 pessimistic 4 me?   i dunno.   friends of all kinds r good.   i was really happy to c every1 @ s.mike's 168 party.   we finally neoprinted 1nce 'gain.   whatchu think?   wouldju rather have a large, large group of friends or a small, tighter knit group of friends?   e.mail me ur opinions please.

so last nite, we practiced.   master yoon saw my "halo" kick @ it's worst n' tried to give me some basics to focus on re: it.   i can do that kick much better.   i dunno...   i felt inflexible n' uncoordinated, so i couldn't do it right.   kaela bought a table yesterday.   joon n' i brought it up to her albany place after practice.   it was really bulky.   then we put the table n' 4 chairs 2gether.   yesterday, i put a conference table 2gether @ werk.   that was quite a task cos the original hardware was all messed up, so i made a bunch'a new holes 4 new screws.   neway, after moving kaela's table, the 3 of us went to shk (sun hong kong).   n' that's how we got duck duck duck.   joon was so hyped to eat duck.   his enthusiasm to eat duck rubbed off onto me so i ordered the wonton noodle soup w/ roasted duck.   kaela had wonton noodle soup, n' joon had roasted duck.   so my dish was the sum of theirs.   weird, huh?   but then joon also had steamed rice, while neither of us did.   but that's a minor detail.   168's crispy duck is really good.   the skin is so crispy... n' so fatt'ning.   think 'gain 'bout those mallard ducks that hang out by my office.

stocks: how r those stocks doin'?   (should'a bought that ibm stock when dave told me to!)   cowekers discussed how men talk 'bout sports cos it's a "safe" topic.   sports?   i don't talk 'bout sports 'cept taekwondo n' snowboarding.   i think fud's a good topic; but then it gets cultural n' ppl get pissed off @ each other, n' the punches fly.   politics n' religion r obviously touchy topics.   what else wouldju talk 'bout?   fashion.   ha ha.   uhm, flowers, kittens, n' household tips.   technology, now that's a topic, ain't it?   guys can talk 'bout electronic devices, right?   i dunno.   but not every1's w/ the times, right?   we can talk 'bout hunting: hunting rifles, hunting ducks, hunting dogs...   we can talk 'bout vegan cuisine.   let's talk 'bout quaker oats chewy bars.   notice ppl call them "chewies" now?   they don't call them granola bars.   so 4 the past few months, i've had this big costco box of nestlé crunch n' butterfinger chewies.   a bar made w/ bits of bars; isn't that funny?   they're really tasty.   jerome introduced me to them.   instead of eating candy bars, opt 4 the healthier alternative.   also, eat more fruits n' veggies.   why don't we all go on vegetarian diets?   vegetarian duck.   carnivorous duck.

kaela gave me a pets.com sock puppet doggy!!!   the ups guy delivered it to my office just b4 i left 4 a mtg in sf!   wow! whatchu know?   it's really cute.   i like.   i really like.

well, this is it.   s.mike leaves 2morrow 4 l.a.   then he'll be off to va.   crazy, huh?   i'm sitting @ kaela's place, waiting 4 her to shower.   we're, so far, 49 mins late to s.mike's going away party @ 168.   no. now, we're an hour late.   ok, we'd better go.   well, i know s.mike doesn't read this; he just reads the pages w/ incriminating pics of him n' asks me to take them down.   ha ha!   neway, i'd better go now.

so last nite, the ever.wonderful, beautiful kaela kang n' i dined w/ s.mike @ raja indian cuisine on university ave., by mod lang records.   it thought it was a pretty good dinner.   dang, that place ain't cheap, so i'd better have liked it.   ha ha.   it was pretty good, i thought.   'gain, i wrote a review on dine.com.   well, after dinner, kaela n' i helped s.mike move his stuff out of his etcheverry hall office.   it was fun to do that, actually.   i didn't mind helping out a friend.   moving stuff out of etcheverry isn't something i do every nite, so eh! why not?   i think it's fun to be 'round friends.   i'm kinda glad joon is living on my couch right now; it makes life more fun.   now, if i'm married w/ a family someday, n' joon is still living on my couch, that could be a diff story, huh?

again?!   yes, again.   last nite, i picked kaela up from her sfgh volunteer job.   we went out to eat @ ebisu, which i thought was good but a li'l overrated.   u can read my review on dine.com.   in fact, u can sign up to be a member n' write ur own reviews there.   well, neway...   some1 messed w/ my car on the street where i parked near ebisu.   i parked on 9th street in front of some chinese restaurant.   the alarm had been tripped.   neway, that was the big thing.   later, after dinner, all stuffed, we went to watch dinosaur @ amc 1000 van ness.   it was a good movie, a big story 'bout dinosasurs n' monkeys searching 4 fud n' sex.   well...   i had parked on van ness cos i so easily found parking.   un4tunately, we carelessly left our bags in the backsesat of my car.   some1 broke in n' took them.   the person just smashed thru the window, took them, n' ran.   the sfpd r so useless.   i tell u...   if i ever want to break into some1's car n' do stuff like that?   i sure as phuc won't be discouraged by the thought of cops cos they sure don't do $#!+!   'least state farm is a good insurance company.   they's good ppl.   our biggest loss is kaela's new sunglasses, which i bought 4 her down in socal.   that's the biggest loss.   i lost my planner.   that really sucks.   now i gotta get every1's numbers n' addresses 'gain.   should i buy a palm pilot?   nah.

it's really funny: i was to pick kaela up from the sfgh, right?   we agreed to go out to a dinner n' movie that nite, but that wasn't until lunchtime, when we decided that, so she had no going.out clothes w/ her.   i had to pick out some clothes n' bring them to her.   it's like having a barbie doll, huh?   ha ha.   but no...   i wouldn't want to make her wear nething she doesn't want to.   she has good fashion sense.   well, she looked very nice in the outfit i brought her.   ha ha.   *sigh* on my way to the bay bridge, a li'l burdy hit my windshield.   or i hit it.   it was flying to the bay.   i wasn't going very fast.   i'm hoping it survived.   it might have.   i wasn't going very fast.

so yah, s.mike doesn't approve of yet 'nother pic of him on my webpage, so i gotta take it down.   *sigh*   he sez we'll hang out 2nite, just the 2 of us.   we'll c.   he leaves on thurs.   we'd better have a party w/ him on wed nite!   yes, it is sad that s.mike is leaving berkeley n' going so far 'way.   *sigh*

it's a free sun(day).   hrm...   it'd be nice to get a free sundae.   so kaela n' i were in san jo, but now we're back.   this morn, i dropped kaela off @ the sfgh 4 her volunteer job.   afterwards, i figured that i was in sf, so i should hang 'round sf a li'l just cos.   so i drove to j.town n' parked.   i strolled 'round.   some stuff wasn't open yet or else was just opening.   i didn't stay long.   i got back in my car n' went home to berkeley.   joon's been living in my apt since this past week.   he's been looking 4 housing 4 himself n' doug.   s.mike's pissed @ me cos of the scandalous pics i have on my cal taekwondo party crew: 1999-2000 taekwonboarding season page.   *sigh*   i mean, most of the pics r good pics, right?   it's just that 1 scandalous pic of him, i guess.   *sigh*   so i guess i'll change that section.   u'd better look @ it b4 i take it down cos it's comin' down in a few minutes!   ha, that doesn't give u much chance.   basically, if u haven't cn it yet, u won't.   *sigh*   censorship on the net?!   no way!   ha ha.   but then 'gain s.mike's a good friend, n' i'd never wanna piss him off.

neway, so on fri nite, i took kaela down to the sobay, n' we went to the cure concert @ shoreline.   it was pretty fun, n' i enjoyed showing kaela something of a past life of mine.   i liked best the classic cure songs, but there were some songs off the new album that i thought were kewl.   i never bought bloodflowers or galore.   we were really close.   well, we started out @ row m, but moved down to.. i dunno... the 5th row of seats or so...   so this is the last concert 4 the cure, huh?   i'm glad i heard "just like heaven" 1 last time in concert.   i gotta admit tho', it was all much more special when i was a high skool kid, the whole idea that i was @ a rock concert, cing some cultpop icon.   i had so much more energy 'bout the whole scene, u know?   'twas a funny crowd @ the concert.   there were so many yuppies who had grown up from the 80s new wave scene.   the parking lot was full of such nice cars!   such nice dot com yuppie cars.   my, how times have changed, right?   *sigh*   yah, 'twas fun.   we ate @ carrow's on hamilton by san tomas afterwards.   oh, kaela n' i met up w/ ken n' his sister karen @ the concert.   i mean, we planned to.

eat, sleep, eat sleep.   sat.   kaela n' i went to taiwanese brunch w/ my mom n' guy.   we went to some restaurant named li hwa in milpitas.   'twas a good meal.   then we went home n' finished laundry n' fell asleep, semi.unintentionally.   my mom came home n' found us so drowsy, so she told us to nap, so we did.   then we woke up, n' my mom had ginseng chicken 4 us.   that's sam gae tang, in korean; i dunno what it is in chinese.   then we got ready to go.   we left my house in san jo, then went to ken's house, where he was installing these sonic molechasers that look like li'l missiles.   moles?   he has moles in his yard?   i wonder if moles r cute.   neway, he took us in his m3 to his store, ideal paging & cellular, to look @ their bunny.   we sat n' chatted 4 a while, then kaela n' i left.   we didn't go straight up to berkeley tho'.   we watched a movie @ amc mercado 20 off 101 in santa clara.   that's an azian thug hangout.   i told her that, n' it was obvious 1nce we pulled into the parking lot.   every car was fixedup/trickedout.   wow, so this is the sobay hangout, u know?   i went there 1tym b4 w/ s.mike n' his gf.@.the.tym bianca.   that tym, we watched ronin w/ ken n' billy.   last nite, kaela n' i watched frequency.   'twas a pretty good movie.   that was the 1st tym we went to a movie by ourselves; we left the kids @ home.

well, it's sun.   it's a nice day outside.   i shouldn't sleep it away.   i should get out.   s.mike wants me to erase those pics, so i gotta take them offline 1st.   then he wants me to call him.   i hope this is a pleasant interaction; i don't like getting chewed out, u know?

phew!   i just finished posting snowpics from the 1999/2000 taekwonboarding season.   phew!   finally, huh?   'twas a long, difficult task; lots'a pics!   come c: cal taekwondo party crew: 1999-2000 taekwonboarding season.

so joon's staying @ my place.   last nite i had him over @ kaela's place.   we ate instant yook kae jang n' watched the simpsons.   i'm happy that kaela returns 2nite!

the ocf server keeps going down, so i'm just gonna type a li'l right now to say i'm here n' alive.   happy burthday, mom!   it's my mom's burthday.   kaela went to fresno 2nite n'll stay there overnite 4 her wurk.   she comes back 2morrow evening.   i found out that i am going to the cure concert this fri.   whadya know.   ken sez we have really good seats.

[later]   so i went to my 1st taekwondo practice 4 the summer session last nite.   i guess it was okay.   i thought i'd be so out of shape from 2 weeks of almost no practice.   really was ok.   so yah...   i'm going to the cure concert this fri.   it sorta sprung up as a surprise cos ken didn't really talk 'bout it since a long time 'go.   he just sorta asked if i wanted to go, then i didn't hear 'bout it 4 a while...   karen bought us some really nice tickets.   this is so weird.   i used to be so into the drab, dark musik scene, u know?   i mean, i was so into the cure, right?   well, hrm...   their music n' lyrics'll 4ever stick in my head, n' i still think they're kewl, but u know... like, i didn't even buy their latest album bloodflowers or nething.   that means i'll be 1 of those annoying old.timers @ the concert who only get happy when they play their oldstuff, u know?   *sigh*   actually, it's pretty exciting to finally go to a rock concert again, huh?   well, kaela sed she'd go w/ me, but i feel bad cos it's not a cheap ticket.   i'm wondering if i should take some bigger cure fan.   i don't wanna 4ce kaela to go, but she sez she wants to go w/ me, but she doesn't really like the cure much.   well, we'll c.   i also think it'd be nice to show her a li'l bit 'bout 1 of my past lives, u know?

[later still]   u do know why i entitled 2day's entry "easy cure," right?   that's the cure's original name, of course.   well, i just finished writing some e.mails.   ha ha, i guess if i wrotechu e.mail, u know.   well, if u check ur e.mail frequently.   i just e.mailed a few ppl.   wow, phil wrote 'bout some interesting things in an e.mail he sent me b4 i left to socal.   interesting things.   phil's an interesting guy.

*sigh*   so it's like almost summer.   in my opinion, it's summer.   what fun things'll happen?   i'm sad that ppl'll leave 4 law skool / move 4 werk.   owen, s.mike, kaela, n' i ate @ thai basil after practice.   s.mike leaves 4 virginia next week.   crazy.   i miss kaela.   i tried to call her, but no answer.

so i've been on vacation.   oh yah, i got lots to tell!   but the 1st order of bizness!!!!   baby quails!   yesterday, i was driving kaela's new kia sportage up from socal w/ her, n' there was construction on the 5 in the grapevine, so we took the optional detour, which leds us thru some nice, scenic roads in the hills.   we were "making good time" along this semi.curvy road, n' then i saw these li'l brown things scurrying 'cross the road.   aaaah!   a mutha quail n' baby quails!   a whole bunch!   i dunno how many, but i thought there were like 16 or so, a lot!   like i was surprised to c 1 mutha w/ so many babies.   maybe she was babysitting.   neway, i stepped on the brakes, n' the car stopped in time.   phew!   so i watched the li'l, li'l, li'l baby burds go deet deet deet deet 'cross the road.   (baby quails r so much smaller than ducklings or chicks.   after all, adult quails r so much smaller than adult ducks or chickens.)   such li'l feet! such li'l legs!   it took them a while to cross the wide road, but they were trying their best.   they all survived.   then the mutha burd was really worried cos the babies sorta got scattered.   i saw her looking 'round the grassy weeds, poking her head in different directions.   she looked so worried!   but then she found her babies, n' her babies found her, n' they were happy.   u should've cn it!   *sigh*   then a pick.up truck was approaching from behind, so i had to keep going.   else i would'a stayed to watch them longer.   *sigh*   u know, the quail is the ca state burd...   so it'd be illegal if i ran them over.   uhm, 'least if they r cali4nia quail...   i guess there's a specific species that's the state burd, right?

so i spent 4 days in socal.   we left 4 socal on thurs afternoon, got their thurs nite, n' we came back home yesterday / mon / memorial day.   it was fun.   i met kaela's hs friends.   i spent more time w/ her family.   i got to tour socal.   i really got quite the whole l.a. / socal experience.   i even got to c kaela in action, shaking off an carjacking attempt!   wow, how much more l.a. can u get?!   wow!   fun vacation, huh?   yes.   i dunno where to begin talkin' 'bout this socal trip.

well, 'twas warmer in socal, n' it just plain felt like socal.   ppl 'round me were socal ppl, speaking socal talk, dressing like socal ppl, eating socal fud, driving socal cars, doing socal things, everything!   'member over new year's, i went down to socal n' stayed @ s.mike's n' all that.   yah, he pted out that there r no subarus in socal.   yah, there still r no subarus down in socal...   well... "no," meaning "very few."   every1 drives a honda or toyota.   sf has more beemers/capita than socal, i believe.   socal culture: i was discuss w/ kaela how asian.american families differ from socal to norcal.   i noticed that, on average, asian parents in norcal r more americanised than in socal.   wow... clubbing on the strip (sunset blvd.) is nothing like clubbing in sf...   hrm...   la culture.

so thurs, we drove down, we luncheoned @ andersen's split pea in santa nella, then we got into chino.   kaela drove the buick from berkeley to santa nella.   then i drove it from santa nella till castaic.   then jeanna drove it from castaic to chino.   i fell asleep in the back on that stretch, so i had no clue how to get to chino.   i just knew we were there.   so we went in.   their parents were watching korean tv.   kaela showed me her baby/kid pics... up until jr. high.   i slept in jay's room.   jay's kaela's bro, u know.   he's @ skool @ uci.   he comes home on the weekends.   fri, we woke up later than we were supposed to.   we went to beverly soon dubu in koreatown 4 lunch, met up w/ mary au n' sarah liang.   oh yah! on the hwy, we passed a sign on a store...   the store was called "beno's"!!!!   it sells athletic clothes, i think.   i never got a pic of it, but we took pics @ the bernard dr. sign by the in.n.out, the site of the "beno @ the crossroads" shot.   *sigh*   wow, that was quite some time 'go, huh?   geez, life sure has progressed since then!   neway...   beverly soon dubu...   so i met a couple more of kaela's hs friends.   i had already met linda kwon.   i was genuinely impressed w/ mary n' sarah.   ha.   i dunno how else to put it.   like, i'm glad kaela has kewl friends, basically.   ha ha... not like her berkeley friends r unkewl! ha ha...   it's just that it cms like during some of her yrs @ berkeley, she sorta got artificially isolated from ppl she wanted to be friends w/, so it's nice to meet more of her friends.   also...   in some ways, ur hs friends'll always be the closest friends u ever had... not necessarily the 1s u hang w/ thru.out ur whole life, but the closest u ever had.   that's what my french teacher told us, n' kaela's group of hs friends discussed that this weekend.   neway...   i think kaela's hs friends r kewl ppl.   kewl, hip ppl!   they don't believe me that i really think that.   i mean, i told sarah that i'm impressed, n' she thinks i'm joking.   if only she read this journal, huh?   well, lunch @ beverly soon dubu was good.   i asked 4 al jjigae but they brought me haemul jjigae, but that was fine by me.   i only picked al jjigae cos i wanted to get something diff from kaela, but i would'a picked haemul jjigae.   sarah n' mary were waiting 4 a long time 4 us; we were late.   luckily it's easier to find parking in l.a. than in sf or berkeley.   after lunch, sarah n' mary left, n' kaela brought 'round k.town.   we went to a market...   they had boba drinks!   i got used to hearing prices in korean expressed in "bool."   the last time i had to deal w/ asking 4 prices in korean, i was in korea, so i was dealing w/ won.   kaela bought some snacks n' mochi.   i bought this dduhk, that i didn't know koreans liked, but i used to always get from chinatown bakeries, this spongy, slimy, rice cake.   upes, we left the mochi n' dduhk in the fridge @ her house.   we barely had ne.   oh well.   we visited the morning glory store.   there was a common theme 4 that day: searching 4 bathrooms.   lots'a places have "customer only" bathrooms, so @ the yoshinoya by the morning glory store, we bought a small pepsi.   that was after kaela bought a extremely cute, li'l, round stuffed piyo keychain.   u know, piyo's popularity is holding out quite well in america 'mongst both chinese n' koreans.   that's good.   2 yrs ago in hk, i heard piyo was out.of.style, u know?   how can u not love piyo?!   so yellow, fuzzy, burdy!   she also got a pencil case.   well, we drove 'round, looked 4 angelcd on wilshire blvd., but didn't c it.   we stopped by a store that sold gifts n' cds/tapes.   they were expensive: cds were "regularly" $12.99 but were "on sale" 4 $9.99.   i get better prices from angelcd.   i know jerome sed his mom bargained down the prices of cds b4 tho', @ a k.town store.   then we went to kim's something something store.   it has all sorts of odds n' ends: some crate n' barrellish home/kitchen furnishings, some electronics, some fashion accessories, some cosmetics...   kaela bought lots'a stuff 4 her new apt.   n' then on our way out, that's when the attempted carjacking happened.   being the clueless norcali boy, i didn't know what was happening.   these 2 middle aged latino guys were @ the corner n' yelled something w/ a friendly tone.   i watched them.   i wasn't sure if they were talking to me or the security guard 'cross the street @ the kim's store parking lot...   they walked 2ward our buick w/ big, friendly smiles.   they looked like dayworkers, n' i thought they wanted to hitchhike or something, but then they got really close to the car.   kaela didn't c them coming cos she was making a turn, but i saw them the whole time but didn't worry cos they're just a coupl'a older, out.of.shape, non.threatening.looking guys w/ friendly smiles...   then they frickin' opened the backdoor n' tried to get in.   @ that pt. kaela saw n' floored the gas pedal, so they like fell off / out of the car.   she drove off.   the door was open, but it closed as she accelerated 'round the turn.   dang... l.a.!   so wow...   but kaela did the right thing: smart gurl.   from that pt on, when i made sure we always locked our doors, whether she or i was driving.   well, we went home, went to costco in her kia, had a quick dinner @ home w/ her mom, n' then got ready to go "clubbing" w/ sarah...   we had to stop @ ralph's 1st to get me some maalox.   then we stopped by walmart to get grippy stuff 4 the soles of kaela's shoes...   then we we got lost in south central l.a. on the way to the club.   oh yah, i had to use a bathroom in a carl's jr. in some really ghetto neighbourhood.   hrm...   like, i guess coming from berkeley, i'm not 2 unused to ghetto neighbourhoods, but i guess i shouldn't be naive, u know?   like, i shouldn't say, oh! i'll just walk 'round here @ nite, it's just like oakland, no biggie.   doo duh doo.

neway...   we got to miyagi's on the strip.   parking was $15, but cover was free.   traffic was awful.   i guess ppl were cruising.   miyagi's...   it's a lot like a big frat party, but it's @ a sushi restaurant.   it's nothing like sf clubs or ne club i'm used to.   they play rock/disco/funk classics n' a li'l bit of top 40 pop.   they don't mix the beats...   i don't even think they have a deejay, just a cd changer.   yet ppl don't mind @ all.   so we met up w/ sarah n' her ernst n' young friends.   we were there 4 such a short time cos it closes @ 130a.   k, so we... uh... left after that.   that's weird to say cos usually, when we go clubbing in sf, we dance 4 a long time, then we go to j.town denny's or somewhere 4 a while.   no, we dance 4 a very short time, then we went home...   'course it was a shame we got there so late.   well, i drove us home, but kaela fell asleep, n' i didn't know the full route home.   so i got us a li'l lost in chino.   i stopped @ a gas station, so we could use the bathroom.   then i would'a asked the gas station 4 directions, but kaela fell asleep, n' i was pretty tired 2, so we slept in the kia @ the gas station 4 a coupl'a hours.   i locked the doors, armed the alarm, n' kept the keys in my hand.   as far as i could tell, it wasn't a bad neighbourhood, n' we were right by the police station.   well, i napped 4 a coupl'a hours, then i resumed searching 4 kaela's house.   whadya know, i got there pretty quickly after that.   well... now we had 'nother prob: we were locked out.   kaela only had 1 of the keys necessary to get in.   well, we didn't bother; we just went back to the car n' went back to sleep.   then mr. kang found us in the morning n' let us in.   kaela's mom was so freaked to hear that we were asleep in the car on the driveway.   i felt bad, so i apologised to kaela's dad, but i guess things were okay; they were just glad we were ok, n' wanted us to go to sleep in proper beds instead.

so we slept till noon or so.   then we got ready to go shopping.   i wanted to c southcoast plaza in costa mesa.   we had some fud w/ kaela's family.   mrs. kang was rolling kimbap @ the eating table n' we had that, miso soup, n' mandoo/gyoza/guoteh.   we went to ontario mill.   we bought sunglasses 4 each other from the sunglasses outlet; they were belated 4 mo. anniversary presents.   we shopped 'round...   we had to budget our time.   then we drove thru placentia.   kaela showed me her old house n' stuff like that.   she showed me schlotzky's deli.   c, ed park told me his parents used to own a schlotzky's.   i wasn't sure if he was joking or serious.   i guess he was serious, but he sed it so nonchalantly.   the old schlotzky's in berkeley had just opened up, n' we passed by, n' we talked a li'l 'bout schlotzky's, then ed sez to me n' vince that his parents used to own a schlotzky's... but he sed it so calmly... n' why didn't he mention that 1st?!   so we didn't believe him.   but i dunno...   neway, kaela just sed that she ate there w/ her dad 1nce, n' they talked 'bout her career.   i didn't get to c her hs, un4tunately.   well, that was placentia; then we were off to southcoast plaza.   stuff was closing up tho'.   we just barely got to look @ a few stores.   i bought a polo shirt n' boxer briefs from structure, sale stuff; n' they give u free sunglasses w/ a $25 purchase...   well, i already just got a nice pair.   well, southcoast was nice.   'tis nicer than i remember it.   it's like valley fair w/ some more of those high class designer stores.   things i heard earlier made me think i was gonna walk into an indoor version of rodeo drive, but it's a li'l more like valley fair... or it's kinda like shopping in sf, by the fashion centre / union sq, u know?   well, after that, we had to hurry to garden grove to meet up w/ kaela's family @ a korean chinese restaurant 4 jay's b.day dinner.

so we went to "book kyuhng" or "peking" restaurant in garden grove.   we got there b4 kaela's family, n' kaela sed we should go ahead n' ask 4 a table 4 six...   she asked if i wanted to talk.   so... i had this interesting situation: should i talk in korean or mandarin?   well, it wasn't much of a question, cos kaela made a big pt of this being an experience in korean chinese fud, so it was s'pposed to be more of a korean experience, so: "yuhsuht myuhng" it was.   neway, the hostess knows kaela's family, so she ended up speaking to kaela n' not me after i made the initial table request.   yah, the hostess talked a lot to kaela's mom.   after she found it 'twas jay's b.day n' that kaela had recently graduated, she sent over some freebies.   mmmm...   was a really filling yet quickly eaten meal.   then kaela's family went to the korean market to buy all sorts of ramyun n' fud 4 the kids to take to skool, while kaela n' i went back home to get ready to go back to miyagi's w/ sarah.   well, we still got to miyagi's @ 'bout the same time.   we again were just there 4 a short time.   then we followed sarah back to her family's home in westchester, the nice community close to inglewood.   so we spent the nite @ sarah's place.

then 'twas sunday.   the 3 of us were to head down to meet up w/ linda kwon n' her bf dave.   we 1st luncheoned @ carl's jr.   lots'a greasy fried stuff.   i couldn't finish my supposedly "spicy" chicken sandwich... not spicy.   i felt stomach sick.   i've been feeling stomach sick 2 often lately.   i've been eating more than my stomach usually gets n' eating a li'l unhealthier than what it expects.   basically, my stomach hasn't been digesting well.   neway, i drove us down to sd from l.a.   sarah n' kaela caught up on old times, n' i knew sarah wanted juicy details 'bout kaela's new bf, right?   i didn't mind.   i told sarah to go talk to kaela in the bathroom when we stopped @ 76, so kaela could reveal all 'bout me in private w/o my presence.   well, we 'ventually made it down to ucsd.   the area was so familiar from my many trips to visit nelson.   well, linda introduced us to dave; i immediately thought he looked like this dude chris casey (he used to be in taekwondo, was going out w/ nancy vuong).   then we went to horton plaza / gaslamp district.   we just sorta browsed the mall.   i talked to dave.   we had some similar interests.   he did taekwondo, n' he knew john eing from hs.   i'm glad linda has a nice bf.   from meeting her back last september when she came to visit kaela, i thought she was a kewl person.   she always spoke so unflatteringly 'bout her bf, but i guess she was just joking.   so we walked 'round sd, then out on a cliff by ucsd, then went to dinner @ karl strauss brewery in la jolla.   then we called it a nite.   lots'a driving to do that nite to get home.

well, whad'ya know?   that brings us to mon morn; memorial day.   kaela n' i got ready to swim.   but then jeanna told us she had just finished cooking breakfast, so instead we ate w/ jeanna n' kaela's dad.   then we went swimming.   it was fun.   it was good to move 'round a li'l after being so sedentary (exercisewise) 4 so long.   well, after swimming n' showering, we packed up to go.   kaela had lots of stuff, lots of boxes of ramyun to bring up.   we had to swing by uci to get a garage door opener from jay.   we watched a diva n' a jo sungmo video @ jay's then left.   we stopped @ wendy's @ magic mtn to get a li'l fud.   we took a good number of rest area stops.   that baby quail thing happened.   then we finally got back into berkeley.   wow, what a vacation!   i got to learn more 'bout kaela's history, u know?   i kept telling her that i was so impressed that she's always been a kewl gurl.   like, she always sez she was "dorky" this n' that, but not really.   she was really popular n' active in hs.   that's really kewl cos she's still a really nice gurl.   ha ha.

so 2day, i'm still driving kaela's kia sportage, drove it to work.   she has to park it in albany, but we didn't have time to drop it off.   there's more parking by my apt than by hers.   well, 2nite's the 1st nite that i'll practice under master yoon's instruction @ ucmap.   i wonder how that'll be.   kaela went to work @ the department of health 2day.

really quickly,the beautiful kaela kang n' i r @ her family's place in chino this weekend.   we had a long drive down the 5.   we had a meal @ andersen's split pea soup.   it's great to be @ the kang homestead.   it's kewl.   ok, c u!   keep in touch!

"with the headlights pointed @ the dawn..."   smashing pumpkins' "1979."   phil wrote me an e.mail a li'l less than an hour 'go, entitled "june too soon."   i think it's in response to "summer is ready when u r," a breeders' quote i left in a post on the cal taekwondo party crew y! page.   summer is a fun time.   i really liked "1979" when it came out.   really did!   i have the import remix cd5, not the 1 most ppl have.   i think alice 97.3 used to play that mix when the station 1st started out n' was on autoplay.   *sigh*   yah, i like the smashing pumpkins.   music...   what's the song on the vw bug vapour commercial???   that song's kewl.

so i didn't write yesterday, huh?   well, lessee, i had to leave my office on time cos i had a ucmap mtg b4 the promotionals.   i had a mtg most of the workday.   i ate lots of round table pizza.   when i was a kid, we'd eat lots'a round table pizza.   i like their thick crust pizza.   i don't really like their cheese, 'specially after it's cooled down, n' u've tried to reheat it.   some1 1nce told me she detested laval's pizza cos they put cheddar on their pizza n' "that's just not right."   i don't 'member who it was, but i'm sure she was in taekwondo, but maybe not.   in ne case, i must say, "wurd" or "true dat."   i agree, yes.   rt pizza uses a 3 cheese blend: mozzarella, cheddar, n' provolone.   maybe i'd prefer a pizza w/ just mozzarella.   neway, whole milk mozzarella is fatt'ning.   howzabout we eat all nonfat mozzarella or soy mozzarella.   howzabout we use olestra in everything?   neway, rt pizza; i ate lots of it as a kid.   we also got pizza from stuft pizza n' bogey's pizza.   1nce in a while we'd go to piggy's pizza, which turned into li'l caesar's.   i always thought their pizza was of a slightly lower quality, u know?   when i was a li'l, li'l kid, we'd get pizza hut pizza.   that crust is so greasily buttery!   'tis like eating deep.fried pizza!   neway, 'nuff talk 'bout pizza.   i had some of those leftovers 4 2day's lunch.   'tis awful to eat so much bad.4.me fud.

u know? last week i took kaela to max's in corte madera.   i 4got to mention that, huh?   'twas good.   i had a chicken pot pie / caesar salad lunch special.   'twas wed of last week.   kaela had a warm brie n' vegetable sandwich.   'twas good.   neway, just sayin'.   hey!   round table pizza has a dinosaur shaped pizza 4 kids!   wow!   r.t. rex!   neway...   so what'sup?

last nite was the promo ceremony 4 taekwondo.   dr. min called kaela into the ucmap office.   she got her 1st keub, red belt w/ black stripe.   there was a bit of a mess.up in the grading earlier, n' things were really... i dunno... "bad," let's say.   but dr. min came back n' fixed all of that.   master yoon from sky martial arts is supposed to be our new permanent master.   i hope so.   he's a kewl guy.   he sez he's not going to be easy on us.   that's good.   i gotta get my butt back into shape.   i'm so fat n' outta shape!   *sigh*   after practicin' a li'l... i mean, well... owen n' i did a li'l light contact sparring.   he really helped me.   he had me spar him, but he'd only try to score w/ his left rear roundhouse.   it's good to practice like this sometimes, to try to develop strategies, knowing certain things 'boutchur opponent.   a good fight isn't a brawl.   neway, cal, owen, kaela, n' i dined @ steve's bbq afterwards.   ha ha, i haven't been there in a long time.   kaela n' i split a chicken bibimbap n' sobe.   kaela n' i went to long's drugs 4 a while afterards.   we looked @ lots'a greeting cards.

*sigh* sometimes i wish i could remember everything.   when i can't reember some li'l detail 'bout life, it sometimes really bugs me.   yah...   so i have an on.line journal, n' i try to record my life 4 posterity.   neway, 2nite, kaela's sister jeanna, kaela, n' i'll go down to san jo.   2morrow, we'll leave 4 chino hills.   we'll stay there till mon, memorial day.   i guess this very well could be my last journal entry 4 a long while, so please read thru some old journal entries if u'r bored.   ha ha.   n' please go watch some burds in some natural setting while i'm gone.

so how r u 2day?   no, that's not a rhetorical question.   i didn't just say it out of politeness.   i'm really asking.   let me know.   e.mail me.   i'd love to hear from u.

how am i doing?   ok.   this weekend was exhausting.   last nite, after dinner @ jade villa, some of us went to brandie's (which will soon be kaela's also.) n' watched the bachelor (deanna's friend has an extra role in there, 1 of the running brides.), while eating tons of junk fud.   jalapeño poppers, doritos, ruffles, sara lee poundcake...   stuff like that.   i dunno why we were all so into eating.   dinner @ jade villa was pretty filling, no doubt.   we ate really fast tho'; cos the fud came out really fast.

so... it's been a long weekend 4 beno.   i took fri off.   i went to sf 4 shopping: joon, kaela, n' me.   we went to the sf fashion centre n' union square.   'twas really fun.   i've been sorta trying to control my budget on things like clothes etc., so i didn't buy nething 4 myself.   we ate lunch @ panda express on the concourse of sf fashion centre.   i had never been to panda express.   kaela n' joon were surprised.   i guess i always assumed that the fud there'd be sorta bad, but actually, it's better than i expected.   i mean it's 'bout as good as those $1 chinese restaurants... which r now usually $1.10 chinese restaurants.   panda express had all sorts'a cute panda decorations n' pictures.   we passed by the build.ur.own.bear store, but i was glad kaela didn't notice it cos brandie already let me know that she was giving kaela a custom.made taekwondo bear 4 graduation.   cute.   (dang, i hope i don't say "cute" 1 more time in this journal entry!)   kaela got this sexy dress from guess.   it was only the 2nd store we looked @.   but the dress is really kewl!   we 1st looked in express, but both of us agreed that if she wore nething from express 4 her gradution dres, it'd guaranteed that some1 else'd be wearing the same dress.   i know the feeling.   doug, joon's roommate, has the exact same br grey, polyurethane covered coat that i have.   n' 'member when i had that black polyurethane covered jacket that dave n' jeff have?   n' howzabout when s.mike bought that kikwear jacket?   n' then s.mike had the idea that p.crew should have a uni4m... like we should all go out n' buy some 1 specific jacket, u know?   neway, shoppin' on fri: we took joon to get dress clothes.   that was fun.   in the end joon picked out a shirt, tie, slacks, n' shoes from macy's.   wow, what a shopping spree!

then fri nite, we had chals's b.day thing @ koko house.   that was fun.   lots'a ppl.   i saw some of toby's artists.in.resonance friends: judy n' jenni.   it was 1 of those 6 degrees of separation things.   well, it was a fun nite.   where was phil?!   geez, phil...   [later] neway, 'twas a merry, jolly time.   very happy to be celebrating chals's b.day w/ kaela by my side, u know that?   celebrations 4 more fun w/ kaela there.   who else was there?   chals, sandy, sandy's friend evelyn, her friend judy, sam, sung, deanna, mike sia, brandie, joon, collin, andy, erin... chals's sister n' her bf were there 2, but they sat @ 'nother table 4 some reason.   but she kept sending fud n' drinks over to our table.   we had lots'a fud.   afterwards, i met kaela's li'l bro jay.

sat, we did supermike's grad thingy, then i met kaela's parents.   her dad n' i sat on her bedroom floor n' talked 4 a while 'bout all sorts'a stuff.   really, this guy is really interesting.   he told me 'bout his life history, education, career, taekwondo... he talked 'bout how he really trusts his kids to make the best decisions in life 4 themselves.   i know he told me a lotta stuff that he's never told kaela.   'course, he also asked me 'bout my career plans n' education.   ne parent would, right?   her mom still hasn't talked to me much yet tho'.   well, i'm gonna go down to socal w/ her, leaving on thurs.   kaela's family n' i went to brother's in sf.   the fud came out really fast, n' it was really good.   kaela n' i both had stomach aches since lunch.   we stopped in the cala foods on geary to use their restroom.   i bought a liz blizz sobe.   b4 we went to dinner, kaela n' i stopped by jo.ann's fabrics to get "fuzzy things," also known as "pom poms," to put on her graduation cap, also known as a mortarboard.   her mortarboard was so...   burdy burdy fuzzy fuzzy!   piyo piyo!   it was awesome.   i wish i had had such a kewl mortarboard when i graduated!   i just left mine plain...   nuts.   c, that's more inspiration to go to grad skool!

do u remember the episode of "nine-oh" right b4 my hs graduation?   i didn't actually c it, but every1 was talkin' 'bout "donna martin graduates! donna martin graduates! donna martin graduates!"   the chant.   so now we can chant 4 kaela.   "kaela kang graduates! kaela kang graduates! kaela kang graduates!"   kaela graduates 2day.   she's very smart.   wow, she's also gonna be presenting an award to a prof @ the graduation.   pretty kewl.   i never got to do nething like that...   wait till u c her graduation dress.   she looks really fine in it!   *sigh*   wait till u c.   neway, it's just hours b4 she's ceremoniously a college graduate.   double major!   mcb n' psych.   we're going to her mcb graduation.

well, quickly, i'll also get my 2nd 'bout not unimportant announcement out: happy b.day chals!   chals turned 22 on fri (19.05.00).   yes.   we had a party @ koko house on fri nite.   that was very fun.   *sigh*   funtimes.   good time.   nuthin' but good love.   "these r days we'll remember."   joon, kaela, n' i gave him a polo sport gift set.

u know what?   i got more announcements: supermike gets his master's degree!   yah, we celebrated supermike's graduation yesterday.   ah, such a festive time.   darlene, deanna, n' mike sia decorated his car n' room w/ all sorts of supermike stuff.   they wrote all over his windows of both his car n' room, n' stuffed some 140 balloons in his car.   they went all out.   'twas totally kewl!   yah, we went to his graduation n' cheered 4 him.   then supermike's dad took us out to irrawaddy 4 a big, delicious lunch.   oh, was so stuffed!   'twas kewl to c supermike n' his dad fight over the bill.   wow, what a good son!

as i speak, sandy huang is graduting from haas.   i'm gonna go there soon.   i've been making it a bad habit to skip all the speakers @ graduations n' just go n' cheer.   hrm...   i wanna get a boat horn.   neway, i should get outta here.

lessee...   i have lots to talk 'bout, but i'll get to it later.   i met all of kaela's immediate family now.   ha ha.   i'll tell u more later.   i helped joon moved...   i'll tell u more later, i guess.   ok, i'm gonna bust outta here so i can go c sandy graduate.

2day, 5 ppl from my company went to tour industrial light n' magic, or "kerner co. optical research," as they say.   andy hendrickson used to work 4 our company, n' he gave us a tour.   andy was the guy who hired me.   he also worked @ ilm b4 he came to our company.   so the next big movie is the perfect storm.   they'll soon work on star wars 2.   i saw this model they made 4 this las vegas hotel that's s'pposed to be a 30 story tall island volcano.   i think it's called aries island or something.   it looks kewl.

well, 2day kaela finishes her last final of her undergraduate career.   i really hope she feels better after it's done.   u know, that asian mahir-ish guy i showed u yesterday?   liane says he's an hk actor.   oic. (oh, i c.)   so i'm gonna take 2morrow off.   dang! my company's gonna have an "off.site" @ a napa valley vineyard, but i'll miss it.   *sigh*   oh well.   2day i'm driving kaela's 1989 buick lesabre cos albany ford subaru is tunin' up my subaru.   i'm still sore from workin' out earlier this week.   i wonder if i'm gonna meet up w/ ed park 2nite.

i had a good werkday yesterday.   i came home nice n' early n' full of energy.   i didn't nap.   i called up albany ford subaru n' made a service appt 4 thurs; i'm gonna drop off my forester 2nite @ 700p.   toby's to cut my hair 2nite.   so yah, i went in to practice right after that fon call.   i was so proud that i didn't nap.   there were some lower belts waiting 4 me to open the room.   sally, kevin, n' master lim were having a mtg in the ucmap office.   sally told me to get dressed b4 she'd open the martial arts room door 4 me, so i did.   n' so i got on the mat, n' ppl practiced.   i led some paddle drills.   kaela tried to surprise me @ my apt, but li'l did she know that i skipped my nap.   neway, she found me @ the martial arts room.   master lim talked to us.   he's gonna come to kaela's graduation.

neway, i'm really frustrated w/ the authorities of ucmap.   this is an organisation that i've become so involved in.   i mean, shoot...   i've gotten so involved in taekwondo.   but i gotta remember that taekwondo .ne. ucmap.   (.ne. = "does not equal.")   i really love taekwondo.   i've been saying this a lot lately: taekwondo... it's something where u werk hard, n' u benefit.   as i sed b4, "sometimes u practice a lot, n' u gain a lot.   sometimes u practice a li'l, n' u gain a li'l.   then sometimes u practice a lot, but u only gain a li'l.   but u still gained something."   sometimes u practice, n' u don't necessarily visibly improve, but @ least u didn't regress, u know?   u keep ur skillz in tune.

taekwondo.   why do i do taekwondo?   it makes me feel better; i feel it's something i need.   addiction? maybe.   taekwondo is a sport n' martial art.   i'd believe that most ppl start taekwondo, originally w/ the intent to learn a martial art.   oftentimes, it's 4 self.defense...   i dunno, if u don't learn a martial art 4 self.defense, then what 4? so u can bully ppl 'round?   i dunno.   here's something i believe 'bout martial arts, 1 of my primary beliefs: k, assume a violent situation.   assume u have 2 ppl.   each person has some physical characteristics/specifications.   he/she is so buff, so agile, so quick, so flexible...   n' then each person has some skillz.   n' these 2 things r what'll win the fight, u know?   i mean, a big, big guy can beat up a li'l guy.   but if the li'l guy has skillz, then maybe he can beat up the big, big guy.   but if the big, big guy has skillz 2, then he'll beat the li'l guy up.   but if the li'l guy has even more skillz, then he'll beat the big, big guy up still.   u get it?   maybe this way of thinking 'bout violent confrontations come from my days of playing dungeons & dragons n' mud.   i used to play end of the line (eotl) mud, run from a stanfurd server. ... [later] ... so neway... i think hrm...   taekwondo, even if u r a taekwondo athlete... i think a taekwondoists primary goal should still be self.defense.   i know this is sorta contrary to the whole olympics movement... but not really.   u know i really support wtf sport taekwondo... [even later] but ppl shouldn't ever 4get that it's based upon a martial art.

neway, why do i do taekwondo?   cos i have concern 4 my well.being.   i want to take care of myself.   i want to take care of my body from "natural" harm as well as from some stoopid dumbphuc that would want to start sumpthin' up...   "natural" harm means like heart disease n' i dunno... bad things that happen to u when u just eat junkfud all day n' don't exercise but just sit @ a computer n' chat on.line n' download porn n' software cracks.   yah, that's the lifestyle i avoid by doing taekwondo.   protecting myself from stoopid dumbphucs, that's self.explanatory.   also i want to develop my mind/soul/whatever.u.call.it.   i want to let myself know what i can achieve.   yah, when u do taekwondo, well, shoot.   u know u'r @ least capable of something...   i guess, basically, "destruction" of some sort.   sure, ne1 can punch n' put a dent in a car door or kick a doggy n' make it mad @ u...   that's not my pt.   my pt is that practicing taekwondoist constantly gauge what their bodies r capable of doing.   n' so we better know, in that sense, what we can achieve.   taekwondo puts the taekwondist in touch w/ the physical motions of his or her body.

[a li'l later]   so i'm really pissed off @ some ucmap politics @ the moment.   really pissed off.   i'd consider leaving ucmap n' continuing my taekwondo education elsewhere.   @ the same time, i really love the cal berkeley taekwondo tradition n' all it's given to me.   i don't think it's even appropriate 4 me to leave dr. min, since i'm not moving or nething.   much of my social identity, now, is based upon cal taekwondo...   i mean, "cal taekwondo party crew," right?   cal taekwondo demo team leader, cal taekwondo team member, this n' that...   *sigh*   n' then there's that big bureaucratic title of ucmap demo coordinator...   i get to let ppl into the martial arts room, supervise workouts.   the rsf staff hasta let me into the martial arts room n' ucmap office cos i'm ucmap office staff.   yah, i've bought so much into the system.   it's often been a love.hate relationship, but i dunno.   i'm very unamused w/ the situation.

a post.note 'bout this taekwondo as self.defense thingy.   u know, as i studied taekwondo 4 longer, i started thinking more 'bout the consequences of violence tho'.   yah, if i do get in a physical fight, it has a lot of implications.   my actions reflect upon the reputation of martial artists, this that.   if i beat some1 up, am i a thug?   is it good to solve probs w/ violence?   no, it's not.

*sigh* neway, lots'a serious talk 4 2day.   now i wantchu to check out this site...   u 'member mahir.   check this guy out: http://www.geocities.com/lonely451_2000/me.html.

jerome likes that pickup line: "u wanna go back to my place n' do some math?   let's add u n' i, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, n' multiply."   hrm...   u know how ppl like those "botched up" pickup lines?   like instead of "that dress looks good on u...   it'd look better on the floor," instead of that, u'd have "that dress looks good on u...   it'd look better on me."   so the botched up version of the math line'd be "let's add u n' i, subtract the legs, divide the clothes, n' multiply."   ha.   crazy ax murderer, u know?   do u like that movie?   so i married an ax murderer?   i still have ken's copy @ my apt.   i feel bad.   i wonder if i'll ever return it.   good question.

last nite, i came home from werk n' took a nap.   kaela woke me up w/ a fon call cos she knew i wanted to go to the rsf.   so she made sure i woke up 4 that.   i went to the rsf 'round 830p.   i put my @$$ on the butt gallery n' did the precor elliptical stairmasterish thingy n' a lifecycle.   then i stretched.   then i lifted a li'l.   i ran into dr. eric johnson in the weight room n' saw brandie earlier.   rsf.   i gotta keep in shape.   yah, so many students were @ the rsf despite finals.   i guess it's a good way to procrastinate, to relieve stress, et cetera.   exercise is good.   'member how george bush appted arnold schwarzeneggar as the white house physical fitness council chairman?   'member how muts looked up to arnold so much?   well, yah...   physical fitness is a good thing.   arnold had some kind of heart surgery, didn't he?   2 much red meat?

well, after the rsf i picked kaela up from the library, n' we went to daruma, where i got some kalbi to go n' a pearl coffee 4 kaela.   we saw the end of some britney spears cd release party on mtv.   she did the "oops, i did it again" per4mance.   i think that hip shake knockout is really funny.   pop musik choreography is really interesting.   after that show, i asked the customers if it was okay if i change the channel, n' i switch to the simpsons.   man, the kalbi was taking a long time to make!   but then 'bout 4 minutes into the simpsons they gave me my togo fud.   oh well...   so we stuck around a few more seconds to watch n' left back to the car to go to kaela's, where we could watch.   but we ran into sam lee, who still gotsta gimme my trenchcoat n' joon's videotape of our matrix movie.   he told us mike sia was in the fud ct n' collin was in there 2 w/ his gf.   so we went in to c who his gf is.   we met her, this gurl, weiling.   then we saw mike sia come out w/ some takeout, then we left.

so i wonder how ppl r doing.   how r u doing?   please e.mail me, sign my g.book/g.spot, n' let me know how u'r doing.   ne new developments?   nething fun?   nething sucky?   it's good to chat!   yah, let me know how finals r goin' n' stuff.   let's party!   u know what we haven't done in a while?   haven't gone to noraebang, huh?   yah, we should do that 1nce b4 jerome leaves cos i know he wants to.   do u realise we never used our 1 free hour @ music box?   i hope jerome puts his website back up soon!

u would'a loved hearing jerome, brandie, n' joon on sat nite, calling out 4 their loved 1s: "kelly hu!," "bad actor!", (slowly) "jamie ong...."   'twas funny.   joon n' jerome were lying on top of brandie, as they cried out.   we (them + kaela n' i) had been watching martial law.   is that series cancelled?   that's a shame.   even tho' @ 1st i thought it was really cheesy, now i know it's only so.so cheesy.   when it 1st came out i didn't realise who sammo hung was.   so jerome was watching kelly hu.   brandie like that guy who was, i guess, playing sammo's son or something...   some young, asian.am dude.   if u wanna find out who he is, i'm sure some website has his name.   yah, admittedly, he's a handsome guy.

weekend update w/ beno hwang:   so yes, kaela took me out to dinner on fri nite.   actually, back up!   fri.   kaela came to my corte madera office.   she drove us to the corte madera village mall in her buick lesabre.   it's so weird to be in her car.   i usually drive.   so 1nce.in.a.while, 4 kicks, i like it when she drives her car.   so i took her to a quick lunch @ the boudin over there.   then we sorta shopped 'round.   the br there has very good clearance stuff, i gotta say.   it's sad to c stuff that u bought already on serious discount, huh?   ha.   they've got good stuff, but 2 much of my wardrobe is already br.   so kaela stayed in my office 4 the afternoon.   then we left.   yes, that nite she took me out to dinner @ césar on shattuck, nest to chez panisse.   u know, there's nuthin' quite like being wined n' dined by a beautiful woman.   u should'a cn her on fri nite!   she had this long black skirt w/ a pattern on it n' a nice cropped blue knit tank top w/ silver in it... so dang... that tank top really accented her nice body, u know???   like mmm... besides showing her sexy navel, like the shimmery silver lines going vertically...   mmm... u'd hafta c it.   un4tunately we didn't take ne pics.   i'm not sure why.   yes, so we ate spanish tapas n' had some cocktails.   yummy stuff, lemme tell u!   this cheese n' spinach baguette sandwich, this cod n' potato dip, a gardenweed salad, a spicy tuna n' boiled egg baguette sandwich, n' roasted grapes n' ham.   yah, it was all really good!   i was a li'l buzzed from the cocktail or else fud.poisoned, so i let kaela drive my subaru to abc café in oaktown chinatown where i wanted to get us some dessert...   why abc?   cos she sed she wanted to get away from berkeley cos all the cafés'd be full of studying students.   true. (  like budweiser, "true."   i don't really like using trendy clichés from adverts, but i'll make an exception 4 "true," just 4 now...   please don't let me make a habit of it.)   so we had fruit tarts @ abc.   red bean ice (hong do bing) 4 me, n' zhen zhou nai cha 4 kaela.   when we decided to leave, ugh! i felt so dizzy n' nauseous.   i didn't know why.   fud.poisoning???   dunno.   so we sat outside that jook joint place w/ the hanging ducks n' chickens.   some of kaela's old a phi o friends found us sittin' there.   sophia sed she recognised me from taekwondo.   she sez i'm the 1 always yelling commands n' ppl hafta listen to me.   she made me sound like such an abusive tyrant!   ha ha.   i don't think she meant it like that, right?

sat.   well, so joon didn't have us go to the bowles bbq w/ him on fri nite, if there was 1, cos he went to some party.   sat.   what happened sat?!   oh yah, we went to lunch @ shikdorak w/ brandie, joon, n' jerome.   so we = kaela n' me, in case u haven't figured it out.   i had yook kyei jang, kaela had kal gook soo, brandie had kim chi jjigae, jerome had bulgogi n' joon had dolsot bibimbap.   ha... why do i list off our dishes?   well, someday, i'll be glad i did, right?   good lunch.   shikdorak is ok, altho' i think m. park didn't like it.   it's not a really fancy korean place, not the greatest, just ok.   it's like going to koryo boonshik.   maybe i'd best write some dine.com reviews soon to get back into the #3 position 'least.   somehow they threw out a coupl'a my reviews, so i'm in 4th place now.   i think a coupl'a my reviews were re.reviews of older places, that's why.   *sigh* neway...   lunch, then the students went off to study while brandie n' i went to sf to shop w/ brandie n' kaela's subleter alissa.   shopping was fun.   brandie already knew this, but alissa was surprised that i didn't get bored by women's clothes n' make.up.   i like pretty colours.   i don't mind being in sephora.   pretty colours stimulate me, fascinate me.   yellow lipstick?   i wonder how that looks on a person.   but i won't try it myself, no.   neway, i bought a present 4 my mom, some body stuff.   did i buy a present 4 ne1 else?   mrm, i won't say @ this time, no.

so we went back to albany.   brandie dropped me n' alissa off @ zachary's, so i could order a pizza to go, as we were treating kaela, jerome, n' joon to dinner as a study break.   funny.   the line was 2 long, so i used my cell fon to fon in the order.   i got that idea from a comic strip.   then i needed to get ca$h to pay 4 the pizza, the good health chicken n' spinach on whole wheat pizza.   i didn't let joon n' jerome know that they were eating healthy, kept it a secret.   so alissa n' i walked down solano cos i needed a bofa.   she went into barney's burgers cos she wanted to eat a chicken burger n' onion rings instead of pizza.   i used the bathroom there, but then left her to go to bofa n' meet brandie @ safeway.   we bought other stuff there.   safeway select cola, strawberries that we didn't eat, paper plates, juice that we didn't drink, 2 frozen pizzas (which were pretty good, i gotta say), salad, n' miso ("miso horny") dressing.   we had 2 much fud.   we thought doug (joon's roommate) was coming, but he didn't.   ugh, i eat 2 much these days.   fat beno.   we dropped the groceries off @ brandie's (which is also future kaela's).   i put the pizzas in the oven, n' brandie took a shower.   i ate 1 of alissa's onion rings.   then brandie drove me to fetch the zachary's pizza.   yum.   it werked out 'bout right.   kaela showed up w/ jerome n' joon not 2 long after brandie n' i came back w/ the pizza.   thank goodness...   i dunno how long i'd last w/ that yummy smellin' pizza in the kitchen.   'course i kept bizzy by trying to salvage the burnt frozen cheese pizza w/ alissa.   so...   so we ate fud n' watched the telly.   so all the hoot n' hollerin' over kelly hu n' "bad actor."   then we watched the remains of my best friend's wedding.   all the gurls cm to love saying, "rupert everett!   oh, if only he weren't gay..."   how come guys don't get to do that???   yah, we hear that ricky martin's gay, that russell wong n' keanu r bi...   n' gurls love to drool over them, n' then say, "oh, if only he weren't gay..."   imagine: "mmm.... sung hi lee... if only she weren't lesbian..."   erm...   c, guys don't get to say that, huh?   u know, some guys'd say, "if i wanted gurls all over me, i'd start a rumour that i was gay."   eh, i dunno.   u think?

sun, woke up late,   kaela n' i ate gardenburgers 4 lunch, microwaved gardenburgers.   what's become of me?   i used to cook, real cooking.   strange.   by 4 o'clock or so, i left 4 san jo to have dinner w/ me mum.   i brought her her present n' card.   i'm glad that the pantry had lots of tasty snacks.   i had some fancy cashews from some costco size vat n' a box of vita guava juice.   i also had some cereal from a box.   "cereal from a box," that sounds funny, but ok.   so i took my mom to dinner.   uh, she drove; i dunno... it just works out that way.   we were going to go to a sushi restaurant called shiki sushi.   'twas closed, so we tried ocean palace chinese restaurant, but 'twas 2 crowded, so we tried mandarin gourment, but 'twas also 2 crowded, so we headed 2wards where the real chinese stuff is: cupertino village.   so we went to kingswood which has hotpot n' teppan.   we had hotpot.   there was still a wait there.   u know, it amazed me tho': i mean, i thought 'bout this.   i looked @ all the workers @ this bizzy, busy, bz restaurant.   u know, u could live ur whole life out, live in cupertino, n' never learn to speak english.   u know that?   there r so many ppl who go to cupertino village n' all the 99 malls...   u could live out a perfectly good life n' never learn to speak english.   i mean, it'd be a simple life, maybe...   maybe u'd work as a waiter or waitress ur whole life...   ok, maybe it's not so weird to think.   i guess lots'a my friends' parents don't really speak english, huh?   n' they manage to survive.   look @ me, such skewed, american.born perspective.

so this restaurant's hotpot meal is pretty good.   it's not like an all.u.can.eat place.   u order what ingredients u want to cook.   we had vegetables, fried tofu, this blood rice cake (something sorta reminiscent of soondae, in that sense), this fish paste, which was really good, n' thinly sliced beef.   yah, that thinly sliced beef is key to hotpot, u know?   well, it was a good amt of fud, n' very good quality.   if u wanna get stuffed, go to hot pot city.   if u wanna just have a quality hotpot meal, go here.   never 4get my "hotboxcity: day 2" entry of 08 december, 2000.   kaela ought to ask me 'bout this cos dave, chals, n' i made a pact that nite.   liane witnessed this.   hrm... there was sumpthin' i told kaela that we should search 4 in my journal, but i 4get what it is.   u know, it's really kewl to be able to use the "find in frame" command n' figure out something i did long time ago that i 4got, u know?   that's why i've left the beno journal as 1 single document so far.

i ate a pork tamale @ dave's tacqueria 4 lunch, had a horchata.   i walked 'round that town center mall, looked @ stuff...   i dunno why, but i felt like looking @ home things... i really don't know why!   strange, huh?   i liked the smell of candles n' potpourri.   i went into pier 1 imports.   i dunno.

*sigh*   yah, last summer was fun...   but i'd like to encourage ppl / my homiez / cal taekwondo p crew / etc to make this summer just as fun, yes.   u r the exclusive few, u beno journal readers, u!   there4 (3 dots), i'll letchu in on the latest benomix 3 news n' release updates, et cetera, right?   yes.   well, last nite i made the dj doc "yuhrum iyagi" (2000 benomix).   yah, that'll prob'ly go on benomix 3.   k, since u do nice things 4 me like treat me n' kaela to unit iii dc meals 2 nites in a row, as joon has done; i'll letchu in on some serious insider info:

so yah, we all figured benomix 3'll prob'ly have more korean gayo musik.   actually, i'm trying to have more korean n' chinese musik.   here, i'll letchu know 'bout a few of the tracks that'll prob'ly be on it.   these r benomixes: dj doc's "yuhrum iyagi," yoo seungjoon's "yeol juhng" n' "say you will," diva / alex to / yuki hsu in a "wae bulleoh" megmix, n' erasure w/ some chinese gurl in a mix of "i love saturday" w/ uh... some chinese song.   man, i really give u insider in4mation, huh?   well, don't spoil the surprise 4 the others tho'.   those tracks r all benomixes.   i'll also throw in some tracks unbenomixed.   *sigh*   n' i'm trying to spit this album out by when?   this summer, of course.

so yah...   i'm concerned cos i know kaela's stressed cos of finals...   i don't want her to be stressed.   i want her to do well on her exams n' be happy.   joon had us over 4 'nother unit iii dc meal last nite, as u know.   man, i gotta stop eating n' start workin' out.   *sigh*   but we might have more dc fud 2nite, i dunno.   how many 24 yr olds get to eat dc meals?   yes, "get to."

'bout the lame fake g.book entry on kaela's g.book...   *sigh*   i dunno.   i never feel like dignifying those lame annoyances from that certain individual w/ ne sort of response.   obviously, i didn't say nething like what he sed i sed.   duh!   so stop harrassing my gf.   maybe u can learn to be a gentleman.   right now u'r just being an annoying-@$$ scrub.

spiders r a type of investment.   supermike wanted to buy an mr2 spyder up until last nite, when he apparently decided he'd rather buy a 1991 mazda miata n' turbocharge it just like dr. pankow our engineering prof sed all his engineering prof friends were doing.   dr. pankow sed his friends couldn't afford porsches, so the modified miata'd hafta do.   spiders spin webs.   webrings.

if i had the time to make a webring, (n' i have considered it), i guess the 1st thing i'd do is link up all those on.line journalists in my social circle...   i guess that'd mean i'd link up all those p. crew on.line journalists.   so they'd be:

k, these r the ppl i have on my "homies" folder in my netscape bookmarks:

there's also a folder i have entitled "ppl i sorta know," n' 'nother named "ppl i don't know."   so even if u r reading this n' not mentioned in the "homies" folder, u prob'ly r in 1 of the other 2...   ha ha, prob'ly "ppl i sorta know."   'course if u e.mail me, u might someday end up in the "homies" folder.

"hamkkei haejun gudae eigei haengbokul! ... [la la la la] ... gudae kyuhtei issul kkuhyah.   nuhrul sarang hae.   hamkkei haeyo gudae wa young..... wonhi."

so yesterday, all that talk 'bout mc yuk yuk's...   i ate a taco bell gordita 4 lunch.   just 1, that's all.   chicken baja.   but mc yuk yuk...   mmmm... hot fries.   well, check out this link: "even chinks love mcdonalds."

'tis finals time.   nuts.   graduations soon.   supermike has all these travel plans.   he asked me to go to oregon to help him buy his mr2 spyder.   but that was 2 nites ago, when we were @ 168.   it took me 1.5 hrs to get out of sf yesterday!   i needed to go to the berkeley main post office to pick up my angelcd (or... ahem... angelpop, as they r now called) order.   this new dj acura 2 cd has lots of old songs...   stuff like clon's "kkungddari shyabara."   that's the song we'd hear way, way, way back when we'd go to cairo, which turned into era, which turned into nv.   that song n' dj doc's "yuhrum iyagi," we'd hear those songs.   n' we heard "kungddari shyabara" @ baby kaela wrote a guest entry.   (how come she gets to be called "baby kaela"?   i've been trying to convince laura that, since she's been in hk, that's how ppl have started talkin' in the states.   it's kinda like baby v.o.x. n' baby g.)   but 'member baby kaela's s'pposed to write a commentary on my benogurl survey results.

so yah, i have lots of thoughts 'bout my career...   i just read kaela's e.mail.   she's got wise wurds 'bout career philosophy...   she's told me to think 'bout some important things.   u know, i've gotta say that writing in the beno journal has been really fun n' therapeutic 4 me lately.   notice that recent journal entries have been pretty long.   n' also notice that i made a correction to yesterday's entry...   i mean, cos i was hurrying out to help/com4t brandie n' her car, i messed up the 4matting n' screwed up the last bit of the last paragraph.   but now i've fixed it.   i sometimes make mistakes n' fix it the next day, so u know...   u might wanna recheck old entries.

[a wee bit later]   n' often, like kaela, i add to my entries.   i read kaela's journal.   n' i 4got 'bout the tampons, n' buying the tampons.   i guess it's kewl if u read both our journals, cos i prob'ly leave out stuff, then she prob'ly leaves out stuff...   u know?   neway, buying tampons...   it's really no big deal to me.   i'm glad kaela so much appreciates the fact that i'd buy tampons 4 my gf.   'member, it's just like the finesse commercial.   don't 4 get how beautiful kaela is.   how could i ever refuse her a favour?   which reminds me how i want to mix yoo seungjoon's "bootakhae" n' his duet w/ yuki hsu "can't wait."   hrm...   originally, i was thinkin' i'd edit out yoo seungjoon's english n' make it a mandarin n' korean song, but after listening to "can't wait" a li'l more, i dunno if that'd wurk.   i'll tell u, there's 1 part i really like, the "wei?" part in the background @ that 1 part, the fon call...   that so chinese, huh?   hrm...   that's a concept: mandarin n' korean mixed in the same song... i guess t.t. ma does that, but they seriously bug!   think 'bout how vicky of diva throws in that "wo ai ni!" in the middle of "breaking the rules."

another unknowing guest entry in the beno journal!   yah, yesterday, we got to have a passage from dnav 'bout how all i do is write 'bout kaela.   2day, we get to have a guest entry from joon kim.   1nce 'gain, i didn't tell the person that'd i'd do this, but eh!   i think it's worthwhile stuff.   joon, joon, joon.   joon sure gets a lot'a coverage in my journal nowadays.   that's cos he's a kewl guy, the kind that signs my g.spot.   k, w/o further ado, let's read what joon has to write:

mc yuk yuk huh?

yjoonki (19/M/Berkeley, CA)

5/10/00 1:56 pm

i don't think mcdonalds is so bad....i used to really [like] mcdonalds...i remember when i was a little kid they had those mc[d]lt's it was those hamburgers that came in this white box but like in two pieces so you had to put it together to eat it....anyway i remember how bad i wanted to finish one by myself....so i'd always make my dad buy me those and i'd never finish until i was 6 six years old and finally did it!! (applaud) then i remember when i got a happy meal for the first time....i was so proud of the toy i got i took it to show and tell....but i didn't know that much english when i was 5, since i came here to the states when i was four, and i didn't know what mcdonalds was called so i asked my mom and she told me but it was in her korean phonetics (those of you who know how korean phonetcis works knows what the word mcdonalds sounds like in korean) so when i went to show and tell and told them where i got hte toy but no one knew what i was talking about...kinda funny i used to "mime" my thoughts more than actually talk when i was little....i rememeber when my dad took me for the first time to preschool here....i didn't know any english and these two kids threw sand at me and started laughing at me....so i went to the teacher and like mimed out the scene out to her by throwing sand at myself and and pointing at the kids that threw sand at me....but then it was weird how in second grade i was always getting in trouble for talking too much cuz by then i guess i knew enough to actaully talk and all.....so yeah...i was reading beno's journal and the word mc yuk yuk brought back so many memeories i just felt like sharing....

dang! my coworker stepped on the switch of my powerstrip, so my computer shut off, n' i just lost a whole bunch of writing!  neway, i was saying...

so that's what joon has to say.   so why do i call it "mc yuk yuk's"?   oh, it has absolutely nothin' to do w/ the quality of their fud!   no no no!   i, just as every non.commie does, love mc yuk yuk's fud!!!!   no no no.   mmm...   think 'bout them fresh out of the fryer fries!   yah, mc yuk yuk's fud is very tasty.   i just call it "mc yuk yuk" cos it's unhealthy!   tasty, but unhealthy.   i mean, i always say we should all eat less meat.   k, i don't always say that, but i often say that.   if we'd all eat less meat, then public restrooms'd smell much nicer.   that's my theory.   "more vegetables, more fibre, more poo.poo in my life."   that'd be sung to the tune of some praise song i 'member singing in church, "more power, more glory, more honour to his name," or something like that.   yah, veggies make u healthy.   however meat n' protein make u beeeeg n' baaahf!   true.   just like budweiser: true.

neway, don'tchu just love readin' joon's writing?   he's my featured artist of the day.   i gotta say, it sounds like he's been hangin' 'round café chulho n' chulho's world.   chals has stories like this.   actually, i guess all 1.5 kids have stories like this.   (1.5, as in generation 1.5)   n' me, being american born, always like to hear them.   k, well...   that's all i'm gonna write 4 now.   let's all thank joon kim 4 his contribution to the beno journal.   i hope kaela writes something soon.

[much later]   wow, life is so, so exciting, huh?   i just ate @ the unit iii d.c.!!!!!   joon treated us!   yum yum!   who needs maekdonaldu when u got unit iii d.c.?!   kaela n' jerome also came to visit.   we ate w/ joon, his roommate doug, n' efren.   corndogs.   chicken adobo.   neway...   lemme tell u; life is so beautiful, ain't it?   kaela's givin' me a massage; i must be a pimp...   uhm, but hrm... that sounds really male chauvenistic.   that's bad.   well, i'll massage her later.   i like to massage kaela.   guess what!   i'm typing this all from joon's 'puter!!!   well, guess what else!   chicken butt else!   u'r in 4 a real treat!   now that joon's done his maekdonaldu guest entry; now kaela'll write her maekdonaldu guest entry.   ok, w/o further ado, here comes a guest entry from the sexiest woman in the world!

hi.   this is kaela.   that's right.   if u didn't get enuf of me from beno's constant mention of my name, i had 2 write a guest entry since both joon and carol got their turn.   i feel special now.   i'm watching some korean video on doug's (joon's roommie) computer.   isn't beno great?   k, i don't understand this korean video.   anyhow, i'm so tired right now.

oh, i should tell u my story about mc yuk yuk.   u see, i'm also 1.5 gen korean.   it's been less than a yr since i got to u.s., i think.   my sibs, mom, and i walked 2 the bank and then decided 2 eat at mc yuk yuk.   these were the days when we were so shy about speaking in english.   b/c we were such nice kids, we let our mom take the bullet and order fud 4 us.   we really wanted those happy meals, but mom didn't know what it was called.   so she asked 4 children hamburgers (or should i say "hambugu").   the cashier didn't really understand and gave us three regular hamburgers.   sad, huh? but we just laughed, b/c we thought it was so funny when mom returned w/ hamburgers.   we told her, "that's not it!"   but we understood and cracked up.   i have so many funny fob stories, but i'd rather not share them all here.   i'll let them out slowly... one dose at a time.  

k, there u have it...   upes! she's massaging me 'gain... ok, she stopped.   i felt bad cos i didn't massage her while she was typing...   i was watching this korean tv skit w/ s.e.s n' fly to the sky...   k, i'm gonna help brandie out now cos she's in some car mess that she doesn't want ppl to know 'bout, or u'll all make fun of her.   but 1st...   c, isn't kaela such a nice person?   i think i'd be such a brat if that happened to me...   *sigh*   i'm such a brat.   i'd better massage kaela.   but hey!   mr. nelson wong of aarising fame e.mailed me 2day!   'twas 'bout getting to #2 on dine.com...   2 bad i already fell down to #3...   *sigh*   wow, joon's room is fun.   neway, gotta go help brandie w/ this mess!

back "when i was single..."   ha ha...   sounds funny, huh?   well, back when i was single, i sed i'd 1) make a list of everything i wanted in a woman, 2) make a list of everything i wanted in a relationship, n' 3) make a list of everything i liked n' maybe disliked 'bout the gurls i liked in my past.   well, i did do 1) n' 2), but i'll admit that i never did 3).   i just mention this cos kaela mentioned 'lot 'bout gurls of my past in her journal entry yesterday.   oh, no no no; i don't mind @ all that she wrote that.   in ne case, i'm not 'bout censoring her!   tss...   she can write what she wants, no prob.   it's her journal.   if she wanted to write 'bout what a mean, bad, evil bf i am to her; that's totally fine by me.   ha ha.   neway.   i guess she wonders 'bout my exes, huh?   yah, i have 2: nelly n' vivian.   i wonder if either ever reads this?   i know vivian definitely knows it exists, n' i'd think that nelly does 2, but my guess is that she'd be less likely to read it.   i dunno why.   *shrug*

so shall we talk 'bout my ex.relationships?   uhm.   i dunno.   i think they r both good ppl.   i won't regret my history; i won't regret going out w/ them.   but i do think that i'm not a good match 4/with either...   i mean, either of my exes n' i r not all that compatible.   did we grow incompatible, or we did we start out incompatible?   uhm...   hrm.   is it okay to talk 'bout this here?   ha! just like how kaela was saying that yesterday...   well, both of my exes broke the relationship off w/ me.   that's true.   that's just plain objective fact.   can i go 'round saying i was "dumped" 2ice?   'member how i chewed supermike out 4 saying that bianca "dumped" him?   i told him we all knew he had issues 'bout the relationship 2, n' wanted to end it... she just beat him to it.   so i wouldn't let him say that he was "dumped."   that relationship just ended.

here, i'll get a li'l personal...   yah, i dunno if vivian's reading this, n' if she is...   i dunno. *shrug* k, neway...   so when vivian broke up w/ me...   it was the mon nite after coming back from the jimmy kim tournament, n' i describe it in my "beno at the crossroads" page.   she broke up w/ me over the fon...   i was talkin' on that black, vtech, 900 mhz fon that i got 4 my 21st b.day...   toby likes me to talk on that fon cos he feels that it was a present from him, u know?   neway, i was sittin' on the couch in front of the telly/tv; somethin' i don't do much of, thank goodness...   neway, so she sed we weren't going out nemore, this n' that...   she sed she had 2 many family problems n' future career probs to think 'bout to deal w/ a relationship.   k, then the fon call ended...   i was feeling so in the dumps...   i hadn't felt that sad in yrs.   then i thought 4 a sec, "hey... i'm single!"   it was sorta like what austin powers was like when his new bride turned out to be a self.destructing femmebot, u know?   n' all the sudden the gurls on tv looked so much more attractive.   ha ha.   there's that "girl on tv" song by lfo, huh?   ...'bout jennifer love hewitt.

neway, so... but did i enjoy my singlehood?   yah, i think so...   hrm...   i mean, i always sorta thought that i could'a enjoyed it more if i was more of a playa, as they say, right?   [i sed that i'm not a very good "single guy."]   true, i never ever had a 1 nite stand or nething like that, right?   but still...   i had fun.   i think the most important thing, tho', is that i thought very hard 'bout what i want in a woman n' a relationship in those times.   i was single 4 how long?   uhm, from sept 1998 till jan 2000, so that's... 16 months.   'member the 6 month rule?   actually, phil discussed that yesterday nite.   i always thought he sed that "ne relationship w/in 6 mos. of a break.up is a rebound;" but what he actually always meant 4 all these yrs is, "heather told him that if u come in contact w/ ur ex w/in 6 mos, if u have feelings 4 him/her, it's likely to be a rebound..." something like that.   oh.   well, i still always felt it was good to keep 6 mos. in.between relationships.   we all know... or maybe u didn't.   i, myself, told kaela to stay single 4 6 mos. after her last relationship...   last nite, she reminded me, that'd mean that we wouldn't have started going out till july.   so she joked that, 'yah, we're just friends right now,' u know?

my single 16 mos...   i did spend the 1st 6 mos. very well thinking that i would stay 'way from relationships.   so that's sep 1999 till march 2000, huh?   then it was open season 4 beno hunters.   ha ha.   4 single ppl, the beginning of spring is open season, right?   after all, that's when gurls start showing more skin, n' hormones go up, right?   finals time.   u know, i think i believe that a guy'll always have a certain, single object of his desire, whether he admits it or not, whether single or attached.   there'll always be some gurl that he holds in the highest esteem.   when he's attached, we'd all hope it's his gf.   when he's single, it could be ne1...   perhaps it's his ex, perhaps it's just some gurl he's obsessed w/ n' idealises, perhaps it's "the gurl on tv."   c, i've been told that women r less like this...   a woman has her prince charming.   yah, it's more likely to be "the guy on tv."   but, i mean... a gurl supposedly fantasizes 'bout some imaginary, or 'least totally unattainable, guy when she's single; as opposed to how a guy'd fantasize 'bout some attainable gurl n' then elevate her to some unattainable status in his head, (idealise her).   ("ideal" is the name of the bunny that ken n' grace have in the back of their store.   yes, the bunny is very cute.)   i dunno...   that's a li'l conclusion i got from some discussion i had w/ eugene a long time 'go... uhm, i guess that was sometime in like nov or dec 1998.

neway...   i encourage single ppl to be very picky.   u know that.   i don't consider relationships to be whimsical things.   hrm...   yah, i've been told i'm 2 serious...   nuts.   hrm...   well, neway, yah!   i still encourage single ppl to be very picky...   u don't need to be in a relationship.   nope.   singlehood is ok.   celibacy can be a virtue, right?   well, i don't mean to imply that relationship = sexual activity...   'course not.   so hrm...   well, to me, singlehood can be a virtue.   if i get into a relationship, i'd better really, really like this person...   uhm, yah... i know that kaela's reading this...   but i'm just being frank.   (who's frank?)   singlehood can be a virtue: it's better to be single than to get into a bad relationship.   what's a bad relationship?   1 where u rn't totally entranced by ur partner, 1 where ur partner is abusive/possessive, 1 where things r routine...   hrm...   these r simply the opposite of everything on my "what i want in a relationship" essay/list, huh?   duh...

k, so what else do i want to talk 'bout... kaela's exes?   well...   i don't wanna talk 2 much 'bout this...   but u know... some wise men 1nce sed, "i don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did, as long as you love me."   yah, some really wise men!   u can visit their webpage, if u click here: wise men.   well, allow me to blaspheme 4 a sec: altho' i do like this "i don't care where u'r from, whatchu did, as long as u love me" bit, i dunno so much 'bout this "i don't care who u r" stuff...   i think it does matter who ur gf is!   that's why i sed to be picky!   what kind of desperate bloke doesn't care who his gf is?!   i guess these wise men r being very vague, leaving their followers to debate over interpretation.   nuts.   when i'd hear "doesn't really matter if you're on the run," i'd think "doesn't really matter if u'r on the rag..."   do u ppl know the idiom "on the rag"?   1 of my exes taught me that idiom.   oh, so u ask, which 1?   my 2nd...   so when i met kaela, did i say, "u look like my 3rd gf"?   n' did she reply, "oh, really?"   n' did i then say, "yah, n' i've only had 2."     uhm, no...   i met kaela b4 i was going out w/ vivian...   i actually met them 'round the same time.

hrm... 2day's title...   i could'a called it "access to excess sex w/ sexy xxx exes."   funny, huh?   well, i put the discussion b4 the rattling off of events 2day.   i hope i do this more often from now on.   now it's time to rattle off events.   i came home from werk last nite.   i went straight to kaela's.   we watched that's the way i like it, as we waited 4 toby to finish jogging/running n' showering.   then toby, phil, kaela, n' i went to koko house.   'twas weird to go w/o the usual p.crew ppl, altho' phil is a taekwondo person now.   kay was our waitress.   we ordered 2 much fud: yangnyuhm tong dalk / saeng maekju combo, jjulmyuhn ddukbokki n' al tang...   n' 4 bowls of rice...   i felt bad 4 making every1 eat so much...   toby's tryin' to lose weight now.   i think i ate more than toby last nite.   i hope i'm not gettin' 2 fat.   2 weeks of lightened taekwondo schedule, u know?   it's so bad; i fell asleep pretty much right after eating!   so... phil's going to law skool in oregon.   he got in yesterday.   that means that toby, phil, n' kaela r all going to some kind of grad skool next yr.   yes, i do feel left out.   *sigh*   we'll c.

joon's kewl cos he signed my g.spot.   won't u?   i know lots'a ppl access my page cos they come looking 4 pager code.   i'm so embarassed cos my pager code page is so cruddy!   i've gotta pretty it up.

oh yah, i'd better answer kaela's question: "i guess she [meaning nelly] used 2 live at her apt.   that's weird.   does that mean he bought the furnishings from her for $200?"   yes, nelly used to live "at her apt," which was not beno's apt.   she lived 2 floors 'bove me in #402.   i met sean, some dude w/ a new honda prelude, the newer version of dave's hotrod.   he moved in later, a while after nelly moved out.   'member nelly transferred to cal from ucla.   that was our jr yr.   she soon after moved into my apt bldg, but not my apt unit, no no no.   who used to live in my apt unit b4 me?   dat le n' holly yasuda, a married couple.   owen knew them when they were undergrads.   he sed they were a pretty affectionate couple, let's say...   that's what he sed...   dat worked w/ vince's aunt in the material science dept, i think.   that's how we found the place.

u know, i never finished talkin' 'bout exes... 1st allow me to say that 1nce 'gain there r ducks in my office complex, n' that makes me very happy.   k, movin' on.   nelly said she was breaking up w/ me cos she wanted to study hard @ ucla so she could transfer to cal.   vivian sed she broke up w/ me cos she couldn't handle a relationship.   a month later, i found out she was going out w/ a new bf, like 10 days after she broke up w/ me.   i found out from toby.   i was smashed.   i didn't sleep that sun nite.   @ lunch the next day, i wandered clement st. aimlessly w/ a blank stare.   yah, i felt really low, u know?   it was like going thru 2 breakups, the inital 1, then 'nother a month later.   but it honestly didn't take long 4 me to realise that he was actually maybe an ok match 4 her, 'least definitely better than i was 4 her, etc.   but then 'gain, i guess they didn't last, as far as i can c.   i dunno.   hrm... now i really gotta wonder if vivian reads this, huh?

so i just changed da pic on my main index page.   i thought that old 1...   eh, i was getting tired of it.   i moved that to me sp99fotos page, which is actually misnamed since it has pics from fall 1998 thru almost winter 1999.   i still have yet to make a foto album of those christmas 1999 pics we took @ 99.   u c, to view all my pics, u gotta look thru all my "foto albums" as well as all my "benofriends" n' "family" pages, u know?   n' i still got lots of scanned .jpgs which i have yet to put on ne of them.   pictures, pictures, pictures.   a pic is worth a thousand wurds.   is that superficial?   is that vain?

shoot, i got knocked back down to #3 on the top reviewers list 4 the state of cali on dine.com.   gotta go out to more restaurants, huh?

[later]   check this out:

Tuesday, May 9, 2000

it's kind of funny, but about a month or so ago, i thought that beno was such a cool-azz mofo. but he's grown incredibly un-interesting since he started writing about his girlfriend every other word. i mean, it's cool to talk about girlfriend, but do we really want to read about it? hmm, i think i am gonna stop reading. i used to think it was pretty cool, since there were a lot of cool musical references, but it's been lacking on that. one plus though, he still talks about food a lot.

that was 2day's entry from dnav.   hrm...   so my ratings r plummeting, huh?   *sigh*   sad, huh?   maybe i'm just over the hill now...   so what should i do w/ my life?   uhm, i don't like being called "bernie."   1 guy @ work has taken a liking to calling me that, n' i dunno how to break it to him.   ppl in marching band used to call me bernie...   ha, i 'member how the orchestra director called me "bernehrd," the english way...   well, "barney" is also short 4 bernard... like ppl call bernard sumner of new order barney.   there! there's my alternapoo musik reference 4 2day.   i do have barney's poster up in my room.   barney...   but ppl think of the purple dinosaur.   hey, 'member willy wonka dinosour eggs candy?   wow, my kaela ratings kaela must kaela be kaela going kaela up kaela as kaela we kaela speak!

meat is not always healthy.   if u wanna be a vegetarian, i'd say go 4 it.   i know jerome'd scoldju, but that's jerome.   neway, i ate lots'a meat this weekend...   well, fri eve, i came home from werk n' went to kaela's.   she had made odaeng soup, n' i ate some along w/ 0.5 a mc yuk yuk cheeseburger, which kaela won from playing mc yuk yuk's monopoly on our tahoe trip.   mmm, what a lazy fri eve.   we weren't sure if we'd go to brooke's party or what.   we hung 'round her apt 4 a long time, watched the simpsons... then when darlene n' mike sia sed they were going to brooke's party n' encouraged us to go, we finally got off our lazy-@$$es... uhm, well, i had a lazy @$$; kaela always has a nice @$$.   it took us a while to get ready 4 the party 2, so we got there so late.   we had missed most of our friends.   sad, huh?   but we talked to janet, jerome, josh, brooke... saw phil tabada n' wei ming upchuck.   evelyn sed something that sorta freaked me 4 a sec, but i heard she was saying pretty provocative stuff all nite 'long, so ok.   man, i'm sad we missed master lim, sung, efren...   all sorts of ppl!   even darlene n' mike sia had left b4 we got there.   neway, we had a demo the next morn, so it's good we didn't party 2 hard.

sat, we had the api issues conference demo in west pauley ballroom.   that went pretty well.   i do need to scold sam lee, as i brandie sed some perfectly cute chick was talkin' to him n' was a serious potential, yet he just let it drop like that... he like went off n' talked to roland instead... i mean, heh heh... roland's a kewl guy, n' all, but we all want sam to get a gf!   my talkin' 'bout this episode is my punishment to sam 4 not reading this journal.   if he read my journal, i'd try to restrain myself from discussing his private life.

neway... so i'd been wanting to thank the cal taekwondo demo team members 4 a long time!   they do such a good job, n' i'm proud of them.   so i threw a bbq in their honour @ my place on sat afternoon.   after we put the stuff 'way from the demo, kaela n' i went to party safeway to pick up tons of bbq fixins n' supplies.   coronitas!   san miguel filipino beer.   ah, tons o' ppl came over, n' darlene brought over her big bbq grill.   who came? jet ri (jerome), josh (lives there after all...), joon, joon's roommate doug, joon's friend sun, darlene, roland, mike sia, deanna, brandie, owen w/ his doggy truffie, sam lee, chals, sandy, efren, his gf chris... n' 'course kaela n' i were there...   so we bbqed 0.333 lb burgers, turkey burgers, n' lite armour hot dogs.   (also had yams n' corn)   some1 noticed that i had bought lots'a healthier version stuff... like lite hot dogs n' reduced fat chips, et cetera... i think 'twas sam lee, i dunno.   we watched our the matrix: enter dragonfly banquet skit video 2ice, n' we watched the real matrix video 1nce.   truffie ate n' threw up.   cute, hyper doggy.   a big german shepherd/labrador/husky puppy.   it's huge 4 a puppy.   he's so cute cos he's so happyhyper.   well, what a fun day...   what a fun bbq...   so what's a party crew to do after havin' a great bbq?   have another!!!!

shoot...   we had bbq lunch, then we had bbq dinner!   no kidding!   whoa, huh?   'twas rainin' but my balcony's protected.   kaela n' i went to rent videos form blockbuster.   we picked that's the way i like it then also grabbed romance cos ppl sed they wanted something w/ lots of sex.   uhm, romance was a dumb movie, as josh sed.   it only brought up 1 good issue: why do beautiful women sometimes go out w/ the most loser guys?!   that's true, right?   i've cn it.   neway, ppl hated romance.   oh well.   that's the way i like it was so awesome!   argh, i can't describe to u how kewl it was.   uhm, it's 'bout a singaporean dude who uhm... i dunno... i guess it sorta parallel's the original saturday night fever.

i just read kaela's journal, n' wow...   my journal entry sure is gonna turn out to be very similar to hers, huh?   well, sun...   woke up, went down to san jo w/ kaela.   we dimsummed w/ my mom n' her friend kerry @ joy luck place in cupertino village 99.   on sat nite or sun morn, i had this dream that i was in this big outdoor mall w/ kaela. we were on the 3rd floor, the top floor.   there were a bunch of korean gift stores.   weird cos we were looking @ all those gift stores @ cupertino village, all the piyo piyo!   all the morning glory thingies.   when i was in hk 2 yrs ago, i was told that piyo piyo was already very passé, but i don't care.   i like.   yes, it's fuzzy n' yellow, n' it's a burdy.   kaela bought her taro jellies n' beef jerky from 99.   we got some bakery things from sheng kee.   we had pearl drinks from fantasia.   then we took 280 to 92 to 880 to 980 to 24 back to b.town, so kaela could go to her mcbcdna banquet thingy.   i went back down to milpitas to get my mot 3160 from ken.   we had whopper jr.s thanks to billy who swung by the bk drive.thru.   so much meat in 1 weekend!

k, now 4 those of u who r still w/ me, i can write more stuff...   i already rattled of events, now i can just write stuff.   as always, i consider the rattlin' off of events to be 4 my sake, n' this commentary part to be 4 ur enjoyment, hopefully...   well, if u don't enjoy it, u don't really hafta read it, i guess.   so i am now the #2 dine.com reviewer 4 the state of cali.   i just beat out the famous nelson wong of aarising fame.   he's a kewl guy w/ a kewl website, altho' i don't know him...   4 all i know, he's not a kewl guy, but a totally jerk.   but he has a kewl website.   i think i 1nce e.mailed him, but he never replied.   if u e.mail me, i'll reply.   ha ha.   neway...   so whatsup?   i hope to hang w/ supermike, toby, phil, chals, jerome, n' other ppl soon.   i'll take a bit of a break from taekwondo these next 2 weeks.   i want ppl to watch that's the way i like it 2gether.   k, wait a sec, i was s'pposed to write something interesting, wasn't i?

think 'bout this then: dave n' i were discussing this issue...   so they say silicon valley has a whole bunch'a mops, millionaires on paper.   dot com millionaires.   n' on z95.7, they were 1nce talkin' 'bout how women from all over the country r flockin' to the bay area to pick up a mop husband.   n' there was this debate whether dot com millionaires r all a bunch of geeks or if they could possibly be kewl guys or what.   n' dave was talkin' 'bout, @ lunch, how it's so kewl that the nasdaq crashes r wiping out all these mops who have that lame-o attitude of "ha! i was a geek all my life, but now i'm rich! u must worship me now!"   that's true.   ppl w/ that attitude suck.   get a life.   money ain't everything.   yah, ppl ought to make themselves worthwhile beings.   nasdaq crashes suck.   yah.   but that women wanting dot com millionaires thing brings us back to that issue from romance: why do perfectly good, beautiful women sometimes end up w/ ugly, loser guys?   ha!   k, that's a topic 4 discussion.   u can discuss it.   i don't want to discuss it.   u discuss it 'mongst urselves, n' don't talk to me 'bout it.   i have a beautiful gf, n' i don't needju telling me i'm an ugly loser guy.   ha ha.

u know what?   if we're gonna bbq 'gain netime in the near future / this week, i'd like to make middle eastern kebabs n' have flat bread, not pitas, that other flat bread stuff.   that bag of 'em i bought @ trader joe's, they molded.   dang.   ne1 wanna do this?   i know supermike'd be up 4 it.   we'd need to find a good recipe 4 kebabs, tho'.   fud is good.

so who's reading this journal?   please let me know.   it's weird how kaela n' i found out that joon read our journals.   joon, joon, joon.   he's a good guy.   we like joon.   yah, i stepped on his leg.   i was walkin' back from the kitchen w/ some fud or somethin', n' i stepped on some broken taekwondo boards, then i skipped to get out of the way, n' i landed on his shin.   "ahhhh pohhh!" he cried...   poor joon.   he sure knows how to bbq, tho'.   ha ha.   ppl really praised his burgers n' steak.

yesterday, @ trader joe's, i bought some tortillas n' some middle eastern flat bread.   i dunno whatchu call that kind of bread.   it's not pita bread, it's thicker, more like indian naan.   happy cinco de mayo, happy children's day.   sleepy.

i'm typing a quick, quick few wurds into my journal from work.   i'm gonna go lunch w/ dave yee soon.   we'll go to that afghani restaurant in san rafael.   maybe i'll get to go to trader joe's.   who knows?   k, i'll write more after werk or something.

[later, after werk]  so yes, i lunched w/ dave, n' we chatted 'bout all the ongoings, u know?   he's so busy w/ werk n' furnishing his new condo w/ emily.   i ate mantu @ bamyan.   it's like mandoo, but it has ground beef n' onions inside.   it had a yogurty sauce.   weird n' kewl, huh?   tasty.   i think the portions r 2 small there.   let's all head on over to dine.com n' write a review!

so yah, i went to san jo on tues nite, had dinner w/ my mom @ tainan, or what they call "southland taste restaurant" or something like that, in the cupertino village 99 on wolfe.   we ordered so much!   i ate so much.   man, i'm eating 2 much these days!   neway, that's what i did; then i went to ken's store, saw ryan nishikawa there n' stuff.   ryan, yah... gave me a ride home that nite.   k, i got to my mtg early on wed.   yah, my mot 3160 was broken again.   i think ken can give me this superkewl audiovox flipfon that's nicer than the startac, but i'd like to match kaela.   i sat in the parking lot of the consultants, thinking the other guys from my office hadn't gotten there yet.   then i went in 10 mins early only to find out that the other guys had gotten there maybe 10 mins ago.   dang.   neway, we had our mtg.   the consultants served us this spaghetti lunch.   it was very good, but it was funny cos it cmed like the secretary had cooked it herself, there in the office.   i wonder if that's true.   it was very homecookin'ish.   then they passed out aisukuriimu bars: haagen daz, it's its, n' some healthy choice bars that no 1 touched.   i had an it's it.   i hadn't had 1 in a very long time.   very fattening.   neway, after the mtg, i went back to ken's to talk to him 'bout the fon n' wait till traffic subsided...   oh yah, i noticed helen's g.spot entry that mentions the goldencandy.com pic of me.   yah.   ha ha.   i am very flattered.   thank u, whoever u r, miss goldencandy.

u know, that brings up a good pt...   asian female sexuality...   uh... that topic again?   but really, asian females shouldn't feel they hafta be assexual, in that, yah, they can be like miss goldencandy n' check out guys n' talk 'bout their butts n' stuff like that.   nuthin' wrong w/ that.   i read that "why?" section of goldencandy.com.   yah, it's good.   hrm...   what i'm talkin' 'bout is a sexuality that asian women hafta define 4 themselves.   the whole suzy wong sexslut sucky sucky long time image isn't necessarily a good thing, 'course.   that's cos it was a sexuality imposed 'pon asian-'merican women, not 1 they defined 4 themselves as individuals.   yah, so i dunno...   di da di.   di da di.   di da di di da di da di da di...

so i'm in san jo!   beautiful san jo!   nuthin' like orange co., nope!   grace n' ken r sortin' out fon accessories, n' shin wha's playing on the net, n' ryan nishikawa (old lelander) is selling a fon to another old lelander debbie chin.   old leland ppl don't recognise me.   ryan totally didn't recognise me last nite, but he gave me a ride home...   i mean, he found out who i was by then; he wasn't driving home a stranger...   yah... so i do really miss kaela...   my fon's all messed up, so i dunno if she tried to call me or not...   she sed it right: last yr, i had bad luck w/ my car; this yr, i have bad luck w/ my fon!   *sigh*   i broke how many fons?!   then i lost my fon... then i broke 'nother...   ken sez they keep breakin' cos the software on the fon's incompatible w/ gte.   so i had this mtg here in san jo 2day...   i'll be here till the traffic subsides.   well, i'm gonna chat w/ grace n' stuff, so i'll write more later.

last nite, i took kaela to kirala.   she had never been there b4.   yummy fud.   sushi n' robata stuff.   we also had mochi aisukuriimu.   i dropped off 2 rolls of film @ costco yesterday.   i also bought some animal crackers.   after our mini.date, i came home n' worked on some benomix stuff n' scanned pics.   i'll have some snowboarding (taekwonboarding) pics up soon but not quite yet.

yes, i do like that dance track "better off alone" by alice deejay.   isn't it funny that so much electronica/techno dance musik gets radio airplay nowadays?   think 'bout eiffel 65's "blue."   wow, it's like back when opus iii got airplay on live 105...   ah, those were they days.   *sigh*   sniff, sniff...   n' back when utah saints got airplay...   *sigh*   2 much reminiscing.   do youngsters these days really think that raving is a new concept?   do they realise that raves have been going on since when i was in hs???   maybe they were 'round b4 that, whatchu think?   'member how shamen's "ebeneezer goode" wouldn't get primetime airplay on live 105 cos the chorus is "e is good.   e is good.   he's ebeneezer goode."   c, that was back when i was in hs.   read kaela's paper on e (ecstasy).   i don't do drugs, but i'm addicted to vitamins n' stuff like that.   sobe, sobe, sobe.

the stoopid ocf mail server was down 2day, so i couldn't receive ne e.mails.   nuts.   well, why don'tcha leave a msg on a my g.spot?

"mayday mayday mayday mayday."   there's that technorave song "hiroshima" on my ivy megamix 2 cds.   (it plays in the background in the oracle scene.)   u hear that voice saying that.   so...   last nite we had the banquet n' we showed our the matrix: enter dragonfly video.   wow, what a labour of love, we'd say, right?   wow.   ha ha.   i'm glad it looked like dr. min enjoyed it.   he's a harsh critic n' easily offended, but from where i was standing, it sure looked like dr. min liked it.   *sigh*   it's funny to me how thrown 2gether the sound editing / dubbing was, yet it worked.   ha.   owen's a funny guy, u know?   man, u gotta c the video; i can't describe it.

so...   yes, we went to avaron on sat nite after the promo test as u may have read in kaela's journal.   yes, kaela tested 4 her 1st keub on sat.   she had an intense test.   i've cn hard tests n' easy tests.   in my humble opinion, i had a hard test, (back when ms. lee was here).   kaela's group had a hard test.   i think she did great.   what a bizzy weekend!   now is 1 of those times in my life where things r very bustlin', n' i wanna tell u just how great it feels to be alive.   the video crew ppl have been fun to hang w/: joon, mike sia, deanna, jerome, owen, sam, eric, n' darlene.   joon, joon, joon...   he did the most 4 the video...   ah...   that was so kewl.   he's quite the director/filmmaker.

here allow me to dedicate a whole paragraph to mr. yunjoon kim:   let's call this "an ode to joon."   joon 1nce puked on my greyish black merino wool sweater.   that was a long time 'go.   joon went w/ me n' jerome to lunch w/ liane @ 168.   we neoprinted 2gether.   joon, he breaks lots'a bricks in demos.   joon, he punches hard.   i 'member he punched my chest really hard 1nce when we were sparring in practice.   it hurt 4 a while afterwards.   joon, he's a big, buff guy.   joon, he likes his vcr cos u can eject the tape, using the remote control.   then supermike'll say, "yah, but then can u put the tape in from the remote control?!"   joon, karuna think he can eat more than joon.   u know, i'd hafta say that i think joon improved his taekwondo sparring a lot this yr.   i watched him practice a few weeks ago, n' i was impressed.

so yah, last nite was the ucmap awards banquet @ sam won kalbi.   a lotta fud.   well, if u never eat korean fud, i guess u'd be impressed by all the banchan, but as far as actual entré, they only had some mass produced bulgogi n' kalbi jjip... oh, n' kkangpoongi, fried chicken, basically.   as a fundraiser, ucmap sold golden bear lager pints.   i guess mike ashley.lopez arranged that.   it was pretty good beer.   i hadn't had a good beer in a long time.   well, it was fun.   man, kaela looked really good.   *sigh*   what a weekend!   i got to c kaela dressed up on sat n' sun!   *sigh*   mmm...   well, yah...   it was a good banquet.   i was glad to c so many friends in 1 place.   *sigh*   really, martial arts ppl r nice ppl, huh?   i wish we had had more time to socialise, but hrm...   somehow ucmap banquets always go by so fast.   u spend most of the time @ ur table.   so, well, it's good that i got to sit w/ my friends this time.   last yr i got there late, so we sat w/ some ppl we didn't know so well...   1 of which was dr. eric johnson, whom i now know much better.   yah, last yr, lisa, janet, n' yoona came w/ me.   actually, janet n' lisa came 'gain this yr cos actually all 3 of them joined taekwondo 4 'least a while, along w/ aimee.   hey, let's talk 'bout how kaela n' i witnessed kevin yang slap his gf michelle's butt...   then she gets all playfully pissed n' slaps his butt.   ha, what a sight!   michelle sez, usually ppl'll c that, but only c her slapping his butt, so they'll say something like, "michelle! what r u doing?!"   n' then she'll say, "he started it!" but no1'll believe her.   ah, banquet, banquet, banquet...   ucmap banquets r so much fun!   still, i've yet to win a door prize @ 1 of them.   *sigh*

*sigh*   so what a weekend!   u know, on fri eve, kaela n' i went to yeisnal jjajang to eat jjajangmyun.   that restaurant is over by koryo sootpool.   (man, 1nce again, i gotta say romanising korean is such a dilemma... why did i write out "yeisnal" to resemble the hangul spelling, yet i wrote out "sootpool" phonetically?)   yah, i had a stomach ache cos of the burrito i ate 4 lunch... not that it was a bad burrito, it was just that i had lots'a hot salsa n' those pickeled peppers.   in the past week, i hadn't eaten much spicy fud.   surprising, huh?   but yah...   so i think my stomach was a li'l surprised 2.   so i had a bit of a tummy ache.   gee, i just realised that we did a lott'a korean stuff this weekend.   but jjajang is sorta korean/chinese, u gotta admit...   i mean, that kind'a restaurant in korea'd be considered chinese fud, n' i noticed they had some chinese lanterns hangin' to make it more of a chinese place.   mmm... the pat bing soo looked good, but uh... stomach ache already, u know?   n' already really full.   i'm glad kaela n' i were totally on the same wavelength when she suggested eating jjajangmyun...   it's really weird how we all 2 often have the exact same thought...   neway, i was glad she wanted to go not only cos i wanted to go, but i jokingly wanted to spite jerome n' joon 4 taking off to dinner w/ mike n' deanna w/o us...   i sed that cos i was pretty sure joon n' jerome would'a wanted to eat @ that restaurant...   but eh!   i'm just kidding...

oh yah, dang... it was a busy weekend on campus in general!   when i went to buy kaela flowers on fri, all these ppl were buying flowers 4 a phi o n' other frat activation banquets/parties/balls.   so much stuff going on.   sat was so bizzy on campus!   there was such beautiful weather all weekend long!   i wish the promotests could'a been outside.   i judged white belts.   i had stronger opinions 'bout their per4mances this time 'round.   sometimes, they all do 'bout the same, but this time, some did really well, n' uh... some sorta sucked, i hate to say.   so i had strong opinions in my grading.   dr. min was absent, out of town.   i think he was off taking care of some judo biz.

yah, we went to fenton's after the promotests.   fentons has good aisukuriimu, but the fud fud is only so so.   i wish we had gone somewhere closer n' w/ better fud fud; but eh!   it was the group's decision as a whole to go to fenton's, so i cooperated.   just, it was a pain cos it made it unclear when ppl'd have time to shower (b4 or after?), n' we had to drive so far, n' we had to find parking, n' we had to squeeze into that crowded restaurant.   plus, joon n' jerome didn't cm like they got enuf to eat there...   should'a found a buffet 4 them.   ha ha.   me n' kaela, on the otherhand, were stuffed n' didn't even eat aisukuriimu.

yah, avaron...   yah, we had a li'l prob gettin' in, but i knew yoona'd pull thru.   so that was the 1st time i got to slowdance w/ kaela?   yes, it was.   nites @ avaron often cm to go by 2 fast.   it cmed to me that this sat nite went by 2 fast.   kkambo...   yah, what a kewl guy.   i 'member the time it was just josh, kaela, n' me.   he sat down w/ us, talked to us, drank w/ us... funny guy.   i guess rosa talks to him the most cos she always makes the reservations cos 1) she's a gurl n' they obviously like gurls better, n' 2) she speaks korean very well.   so we went to j.town denny's 'gain afterwards, n' guess what...   frick, i lost my fon there!   luckily i do have cellfon insurance, so i'll get a replacement, n' luckily ken's my good friend, n' he helps me out, but dang... what luck!   urgh!   yes, the western sampler combo thingy was very tasty!   bbq wings, onion rings, n' french fry things.   (yah, i only sed "french fry things" to keep up the rhyme.)

ah, what a weekend!   lemme tell u...   it feel so good to be alive!   oh, don't 4get to mention the bongo burger fud!   yah, while editing the video, joon, mike sia, n' i had bongo burger fud.   i'm happy to have introduced bongo burger to these coupl'a fine, young gentlemen.   joon had his 1st persian burger; mike, his 1st bongo burger; i just had a falafel sandwich.

well, dang... i had a lot to say, huh?   man, mon journal entries r always like this, huh?   *sigh*   neway, i wanted to discuss some more thinking.type stuff, u know?   k, u know my last entry? "work hard fri", on 28 april, 2000.   i sed i tend to work harder on fris, right?   i know why: it stems from my days @ cal, as i sed, n' it prob'ly started w/ how physics 7a/b/c prob sets were always due on fri...   also, b4 that, chem1a labs were always due on fri.   n' e45... n' other classes...   as much as i like to say that cal grads r smart, hard working ppl; i gotta admit that many cal grads know how to relax until deadlines become important...   yah... k, basically, cal ppl sorta procrastinate...   but eh! it's not a bad thing.   yes, i love feeling accomplished on a fri; n' then go enjoy the weekend.   weekends were made 4 fun.   should't we have a bbq soon?!?!   i sure want to.

[later]   geez, i just started reading kaela's journal, n' just as i sed, sometimes we're totally on the same wavelength.   her journal entry starts out so much like mine...   but imho, silver clothing isn't 2 ostentatious; rainbow.coloured clothing would be.   hot pink would be.   hrm... what else?   i guess, nething 2 revealing n' made of black leather, on a guy, 'd be 2 ostentatious.   but 4 a gurl, it's prob'ly ok.   gurls can wear more ostentatious stuff than guys.   graduations...   yah, i know that i feared graduation thruout my whole time @ cal cos i didn't want to leave the safety of student life.   i never really looked 4ward to this period of life, in between college n' settlin' down.   right b4 graduation, i worried a li'l 'bout gettin' a job.   'course i always knew that ebmud'd still be there.

4 quite some time, i've been meaning to discuss some asian.am issues here.   i already toldju to check out goldsea.com, u know.   i hope u did.   i really liked fillin' out their polls n' leaving comments.   they're anonymous comments, so u'll hafta figure out which 1s r my comments.   u'd be surprised, maybe.   i mean, i read thru the comments, n' some ppl write like they'd be me, but they say stuff that i don't agree w/, so i worry u guys think that they're me, while i, actually... here, i'll tell u: on most of the polls, i wrote in a non.beno fashion to maintain anonymity.   lemme tell u tho', so many ppl involved in the asian.am community spend so much time discussing the ethnogender issues, asian.am gender issues...   yes, it is interesting, but i'm a li'l surprised.   here's a few things i'd say: 1) yes, isn't it funny that asian.asian couples cm to get so li'l support from american society?   i mean, how come in movies/tv asian ppl (women n' men) always hafta be matched up w/ non.asians?   (while blacks can be w/ blacks n' whites can be w/ whites.)   'specially asian americans. 2) i don't think asian guys gotta dwell on this "we don't get ne respect" trip.   i don't think that's totally true...   yes, it is true in many ways; but this "asian gurls all go 4 white guys, n' white gurls don't like us" kind'a stuff is really lame.   sure, that's the way they show it on tv, but tss... i dunno...

here, check out this article "why i hate asian men" by takako day.   i wantchu to read it; i'm not baggin' on it...   i mean, sure, i really regret that any woman would feel that she must hate my ethnogender group, but she makes some great pts...   but... i dunno; i'll admit... i never related to some of these asian male issues, 'specially the "asian men r 2 short" thing...   i mean, i never personally related.   but i mean, uhm, i guess 'lotta my asian guy friends r not as tall as me.   again, i don't really consider myself that tall.   this author complains that she's 5'10" n' asian guys make fun of her cos her height, n' r scared to talk to her, n' this n' that.   yah, i believe her when she sez that, but i think it's really stoopid... uhm...   i mean, i think it's really stoopid that guys'd do that, n' i also think that's it's untrue that she sez that there's no asian guys that'd go out w/ her cos of her height.   1 pt i'll get to later is asian superficiality.   neway, 2 be fair, i'm asking that u not only read the "why i hate asian men" article, butchu should consider reading the "rediscovering asian men" article by hein kim.   there's a couple more interesting articles on that site about the ethnogender issue: "sisterly advice for asian men" and "brotherly advice for asian women," but i gotta admit that i don't really agree w/ the guy who wrote the "brotherly advice for asian women."   maybe i'm atypical 4 an asian guy, i dunno.

k, i guess i'll talk 'bout that asian superficiality issue...   well, superficiality in general... i don't think it's bad 4 ppl to have opinions 'bout looks.   i think it's good to know what u think looks good n' what u think looks bad.   what is not good is to start judging ppl's worth by how they look.   now, that's bad.   'course when it comes to what women/men u'll have a relationship w/, i think it's perfectly fair 4 u to be picky 'bout looks as well as everything else.   u should get whatchu want n' not settle 4 nething less.   neway...   so lots'a asian r calling each other superficial this n' that.   i guess it's a double.edged sword... ppl'll say that asians take good care of their looks, but then they also say that asians r superficial.   u know?   hrm... interesting, yah.   i always ask, tho, "is a good looking person necessarily a good judge of looks?   n' is a bad looking person necessarily a bad judge of looks?"   i, personally, don't think so.   neway, i dunno where i'm going...   yah, asian ppl 'round berkeley... ppl always talk 'bout how gurls go to class looking like they're going clubbing...   uhm, i think that's gotten more extreme lately.   way back when i was in skool, there were still plenty of gurls who went to class in sweats or whatever, u know?   neway, i definitely think it's a good thing that asian women tend to take good care of their looks n' dress well.   i don't think there's nething to complain 'bout.   i mean, i don't want asian women to feel they need to; that'd be bad.   but if they enjoy it, that's fine.   k, now asian guys...   some ppl'd some many asian guys r really vain 2, right?   well, practicality can be an okay thing 2, sometimes...   i mean, there's that fashion v. practicality debate, right?   n' i guess general american worldview would have it that guys should pick practicality over fashion.   well, when the next depression/recession hits n' grunge comes back in, then all the fashion ppl'll disappear neway, so no1 has nething to worry 'bout.   ha ha.

here's a comment 1 gurl left on 1 of the polls/comments pages:

"in regards to "asian pride" people too -- okay, so you all are free to yell at me all you want, and yes, this is a gross generalization -- but a lot of the "AP" people i've observed seemingly didn't have asian pride until the pretty girls/hot guys started embracing it... where were these major AP people when i was idling way in chinese school? asian pride my ass. they can barely speak chinese/japanese/korean/asian language of their cultural background, and all they can do is blatantly imitate the trends that come from overseas.."
[Chi-Am female, 18-21]

well, 1st off...   language is only 1 characteristic of a culture.   (yes, langauge is only 1 characteristic of a culture.   other elements r like: customs, fud, musik, art, activities, fashion, etc.)  just cos u speak the language of a culture doesn't make u completely a member of that culture, neither does not speaking the language make u completely not a member.   "blantantly imitate," huh?   yah, what's w/ all the neoprints n' boba, huh?   what's w/ all the gayo musik n' pokémon???   well... is it really that bad of a thing?!   asian.americans all have some link to their muthaland culture...   it can vary from being born n' partially/fully raised/educated there to just having parents from that country or just having the last name or even just looking like an asian person.   u know?   some link.   n' that link, whatever it may be, opens the door to learning more 'bout n' experiencing more asian culture.   also, that means they can share their asian culture w/ the rest of america, right?   "pretty girls/hot guys."   uhm, k, i guess that goes back to the superficiality issue, right?   i dunno.   'member how nelson used to give those sorta evolutionistic research statistics 'bout how better looking ppl get paid more @ work, etc?   like, ppl just tend to like better looking ppl or something like that... 'member?   u know what i mean?   it's just 1 of those "sorry, dude. tuff break" kinda things that nelson sometimes cmed to like to talk 'bout.   it's sort'a a "realist's" standpt, right?   neway...   i guess "pretty girls/hot guys" have more political pull then...   is that right?

again, i gotta say that i'm an advocate of the pan.asian.american ethnicity.   i think asian cultures have much in common, n' asian.americans should work 2gether to develop a community.

this lisa ling old navy ad...   urgh!   u know that lots'a asian.americans r upset cos she supposedly portrays asian women as being slutty n' materialistic, n' the ad doesn't use ne asian males altho' it cms that old navy thinks they have a good representation of men from different races.   well, i dunno.   i hate old navy ads in general.   i pretty much think they all suck, so why should this 1 be ne better?   'member, i told toby over a yr ago that i hated those "where's magic" old navy cargo pants ads, n' i wanted to boycott old navy just to spite them 4 having such dumb ads.   i don't feel 2 offended by this old navy ad.   i won't speak 4 asian women as far as if they feel offended that lisa ling portrays asian women as slutty n' materialistic, but i'm not as offended as some ppl 'bout "oh, there's no asian guy in that ad."   'least i don't think it's ne worse than lots'a other stuff we c on tv, n' how there's no asians in ne of it.   yah.   eh!

k, well, that's all the asian.am issues i'll discuss 2day.   i'll try to discuss some more in the future just cos i don't c why i shouldn't.   i'm asian.   i'm american.   i have an on.line journal.   why shouldn't i discuss asian.am issues?

poptarts.   i ate 2 blueberry poptarts, the last blueberry 1s of my costco batch.   i want to dedicate this paragraph the blueberry poptarts.   let's call it "an ode to blueberry poptarts."   blueberry poptarts, u make me think of the woman i love.   u have a melts.in.ur.mouth, buttery pastry shell w/ delicious white frosting n' ornate sprinkles.   u have such a sweet, blue, blue, blue inside.   r u blue, blueberry poptarts?   do u feel blue?   i don't wantchu to.   i can stick my tongue inside u n' rip u apart.   u make me feel so so so so good, tho' u can be so so so bad.   5g of fat n' tons of sugar.   blueberry poptarts, u really r something special.

so neway, i'm gonna go now.   on wed, i have a mtg 4 work in san jo.   i guess i'll stay in san jo on tues nite.   i wrote a lot 2day.   this'll keep u busy/bizzy 4 several days.

most ppl slack off a li'l on fris @ work/werk/wurk, but i'd like to think i don't.   i think i work harder on fris.   it's a habit that started my 5th yr @ cal.   i was interning 4 ebmud still, while also taking a full courseload.   i'd only go into work on fris.   in the fall semester, i believe i only worked fri afternoons, but, in the spring semester, i worked all dasy on fris.   that was weird to only work afternoons.   i'd go to my heat transfer lecture, then i'd go to work by noon, or was it 1100a?   i think noon.   i'd get there, then ppl'd go out to lunch right away, n' i'd go w/ them.   i was mostly working @ the orinda water treatment plant, in the li'l engineering office there.   so neway, i try to work harder on fris to make the weekend more worth it.

didj'a read kaela's journal.   if so, u know how p.crew affiliates worked on the video n' practiced last nite then went to daruma 4 dinner.   u know who was there: joon, jerome, phil, clarence, supermike, darlene, deanna, mike sia, brandie, kaela, n' me.   man, so much chicken teriyaki!   so much fud in this world, huh?   maybe we should visit the hunger site now.   i had combo #3 @ pancho's 4 lunch 2day: cheese quesadillas, small chicken burrito, guacamole, n' chips.   i had an apple nantucket nectar 2.   it was a good lunch w/ lots of salsa n' pickled peppers, then i went to the bofa on clement to deposit some checks.

yah, kaela's really stressed 'bout skool.   i wish she weren't.   why do we gotta stress 'bout skool n' work?   we should just live on huts on a tropical island, catch fish 4 fud, pick fruits 4 fud, drink fruit juice, pet tropical burdies, teach tropical burdies to talk n' say bad wurds in diff languages, sleep under the cool shade on the warm sand, n' run 'round naked.   roasting a pig is optional n' will sure lead to all sorts a bad things...   vacation, all i ever wanted.   i hope kaela'll take me down to l.a. this summer.   will she?   l.a. gurl.   i call most of socal l.a.   that used to get me in trouble w/ orange county folk.   i used to think: l.a., san diego.   i considered o.c. part of l.a., n' ppl got mad.

wow, it's pretty much the beginning of the end of the spring 2000 semester, right?   think back 'bout a yr ago.   refer to "learning to fall," 28 april, 1999 to remember what life was like 'bout a yr ago...   kaela had broken her foot @ the haas demo.   *sigh*   that was bad, very bad.   jerome got 2gether w/ his 1st gf.   hrm...   well, it was almost the beginning of a very fun summer, i'll tell u.   right after finals last yr, ppl were having so much fun.   spring is good.   yesterday, it was really warm.   i wore summer clothes.   the taekwondo p. crew filmed part of our banquet skit video.   u know, i'm really happy that kaela is testing this sat cos this is what should'a happened a yr ago.   so yah, i'm really happy that she's testing now.

no, it's not as sunny 2day as it was yesterday.   yesterday was warm.   that felt good.   it's cooled down 2day.   *sigh*   is it that i want summer to get here?   am i 1nce again anticipating? trying to rush?   i always gotta 'member liane's wise wurds, right?   n' so... we were filmin' lastn ite.   ppl were hungry.   we devoured 2 bags of microwave popcorn @ jerome's.   we ate apple.cinnamon cheerios n' frosted cheerios.   we ate cold kalbi.   we ate salami n' saltines.   we went to my place.   while walkin' over, i called west coast pizza (8.gumbys) on my cell n' had them deliver a large pokeystix n' a lb of buffalo wings.   we devoured that so quickly!   gone in no time!   so after every1 finished filming 4 the nite @ darlene's (we used 3 sets), after kaela come over w/ supermike (n' thus beno was happy), after josh met up w/ ppl @ darlene's, after kaela n' i got my car, we went to koko house.   toby called me, n' we chatted.   koko house was 2 crowded, so we took the crew to pojangmacha dansuhngsa instead.   we had to split into 2 tables of 4 n' 5.   our table had the tong dalk saeng maekju combo n' ojinguh ddukbokki.   man, so much fud 4 1 nite 4 beno, i think.

[later] always talkin' 'bout fud...   so the engineers from my company went... [even later] ...lunch @ that indian restaurant, "lotus" or something like that, in central san rafael.   we were treating out a consultant engineer cos he came to our corte madera office to get info on the project they're helpin' us w/.   so we were @ lunch, n' i ran into dave @ the buffet.   yah, david yee.   funny, huh?   he was the person who introduced me to that buffet in the 1st place.   weird.   he was in front of me in line.   i noticed that there was an asian guy in front of me.   marin county's not berkeley, not every1's asian.   so it's a li'l more of an occasion when u c a fellow asian, right?   not like it's that big of a deal, but u'd be more likely to take note; that's all.   then dave turned 'round, n' then he did a double take.   i haven't cn dave in ages cos he didn't come to taekwondo this semester, n' man... things were just so hectic 4 him, i bet, w/ the new condo n' his work gettin' so busy/bizzy.   neway...   had a huge, huge, huge lunch.   they had those indian doughnut hole lookin' desserts...   i 4get whactchu call 'em.   after lunch, i was talkin' to the consultant n' showing him drawings.   i had to print some drawings from my 'puter.   kaela called.   i talked to her 4 a bit, but i noticed that the consultant was gettin' kind'a bored or annoyed or something cos he was just sittin' there waiting 4 the dwgs.   so i... nuts.   hard situation, huh?   how wouldju like it if u were in the middle of this important bizness mtg thingy n' the lovely kaela kang gave u a call???   *sigh*   i had to tell her that i was bizzy n' couldn't talk @ that time, u know?   (oh yah, i sed it in korean cos i didn't want to make the consultant feel 2 awkward, n' i didn't want make it cm like i usually just chat on the fon all day, but since he's here i won't...   @ 1st kaela thought that i sed i was sick.)   urgh...   i hope she's okay w/ that...   in the end it was important that i got off the fon cos, yah, 'parently the consultant really need to talk to me, n' that was his last order of bizness 4 the day, u know?   nuts.   oh well... *sigh*

well, let me know how u r doing.   please e.mail me n' sign my g.spot, as always.

u know that my company resolution sciences corporation is all 'bout 3d microscopic imaging, right?   i think our official snack should be 3d doritos.   i like 3d doritos.   i 'member how m. park threw 3d doritos @ me @ nrb while i was doing that "dongchi dongchi doo bang bang bang bang" diva "wae bul luh" rap.   mmm...   3d doritos.   c, i gave christina a jumpstart last nite after practice.   she got a new toyota camry last week (or was it 2 weeks ago).   her battery died last nite.   i gave her a jumpstart on bancroft ave.   she was eating 3d doritos.   i sed i wanted some, n' she gave me the whole bag.   then i drove dr. eric johnson n' jerome home.   i ate a met.rx protein bar.   then i went to kaela's to watch the simpsons, the superbowl episode.   i was @ our sf office all day in a mtg.   it was a long mtg, but they provided us w/ sandwich box lunches from the picnix deli 'cross the street.

so yah, on mon nite, i took kaela to pyuhng chang soondooboo jip on telly.   i had never been to a soondooboo jip b4 that.   i told her that if i had gone there b4 we were 2gether, i prob'ly would'a gone their w/ chals cos me n' chals wanted to try new places.   that's how we ended up @ that pojangmacha dansuhngsa place.   altho' i want to go there w/ chals someday 2, i liked having dinner w/ the ravishingly beautiful kaela kang.   u can read her journal to hear more 'bout it, i guess.   yah, she had to speak more since i really don't speak korean all that well yet, 'course.   i'm always happy to practice tho'.   when i can get by speaking in korean, i like it.   like last nite, some prospective next yr freshman came to watch our taekwondo class.   this guy kevin.   he's a korean dude from fullerton.   he's obviously lived in america a while n' can speak english, but he insisted on speaking korean to master lim.   i spoke to him in english, but then he went into korean 4 a sec, so i tried to humour him.

neway, i was so happy to c kaela last nite.   she skipped practice to do her mcb faculty-student dinner thingy.   she sed she sat across from sharon kim.   sharon's from taekwondo n' is lana hyun's cousin.   i was telling kaela, yah... so many new korean gurls joined taekwondo this semester, but in the end it's still just her.   ha ha.   funny to think that in order to diversify, taekwondo actually needs more korean gurls, huh?   i 'member last summer when m. jang was here, he thought all the asians were korean, but almost every1 was chinese.   well, that's just the berkeley demographics...   hrm... well, there r lots'a chinese, taiwanese, hongkongese...   n' then there r a whole lott'a koreans 2.   but not enuf of them wanna do taekwondo, huh?   it's ok.   chinese ppl r good 2, rn't they?   ha ha.

neway, let's c... did i mention i was in a long mtg in sf yesterday?   i didn't get to pick up the boards from ashby lumber that i was supposed to.   upes.   boards, boards, boards.   boards n' money 4 demo team.   i'll talk more 'bout that later.   [later]   geez! there's some really rude person working @ ashby lumber.   i just called to tell them that i won't be able to pick up the boards 2day, n' the guy was so abrupt n' unpleasant, u know?   i mean, he wasn't all "phuc u" or nething, but he surely wasn't really polite, u know? tss...   so it's not like i'll go blow up their store; they didn't offend me, but they just don't make life ne more pleasant, u know?   oh well... some ppl.

[later] so i'm still @ work/werk/wurk.   i've had a long day, n' i'm just sittin' here now, stayin' late, so i can write this journal entry.   i ought go home, take a nap, n' dream 'bout kaela, but i'm here.   i'm gonna go to the rsf @ 700p to work on our banquet video thingy.   i ate a slice of this superrich chococake that the software ppl had 4 damir's b.day.   oh yah, we went to sushi to dai 4 in san rafael 4 damir's b.day @ lunch.   it was okay, not bad @ all, but nothing totally spectacular, the fud, that is.   i can't believe i ate that superrich chococake... i mean, u wouldn't believe how rich that thing was.   i'm not even sure what it means 4 fud to be rich, but i'm saying it's superrich.   it just tasted very, very, very fattening, unless it was made w/ olestra.   it was so creamy, moussey, fudgey, et cetera.   crazy i am 4 eating that cake!   whoa!   there's so dietary justification 4 fud like that.   ppl should eat powerbars n' metrx bars on their b.days. ha ha ha.   imagine that.   ha ha.   but really. don'tchu think red bean n' taro r so much healthier than fudge, chocolate, super creamy stuff?   hrm...   think 'bout those indian desserts.   they cm semihealthy.   chocosorbet has less fat than like haagen daz or something.   summer, summer, summer.   gotta get in shape 4 summer, u know.   how am i ever gonna fit in that bikini?   ha ha. *sigh*

last nite, i burned jerome's 1tym cd, while i was @ practice.   i like.   i also tacked on some benomixes to the end of that cd, such as my "yuhl juhng" remix.   1tym is really groovin'.   i like that "muel wihan seisanginka" song.   i already talked 'bout how i like "good love."   i like they nice bassline melodies.   i still gotta copy jerome's yangpa2 cd.

it feels good when u write a good journal entry, let me tell u.   yet, un4tunately, not all journal entries of mine r "good journal entries," so, u know, i don't always feel good 'bout my journal entries.   hrm...   right?   i mean, sometimes i write really boring, irrelevant.to.u stuff, right?   oh well, can't win 'em all.   i was pleasantly surprised to hear that joon reads my journal n' kaela's.   last nite, kaela n' i went to the rsf to practice taekwondo, open workout.   we were the last to leave.   we went to mandarin house to have boba drinks n' mabo dofu.   joon surprised me from behind.   he covered my eyes n' told kaela not to tell me who it was.   i would'a thought it was joon, altho' my 1st guess was jerome, but then kaela sed it was a gurl, so i started guessing @ gurls.   i had a red bean boba drink.   mandarin house has some new flavours: red bean, peach, peanut, watermelon... some others.   kaela had peach.

so what should i talk 'bout?   what'd captivatechu?   shall we talk 'bout how i'm now 24, n' i still haven't sold out into preyuppiescumdom?   n' shall we discuss whether or not i should?   then we can take a vote.   howzabout that?   we tried to go to ikea on sat after the demo...   we had 2 carloads: me n' jerome in the millenium forester n' brandie, mike sia, deanna, n' joon in the loveshack.   ikea, ikea, ikea.   it was 2 crowded.   the lot was full, the cops wouldn't let cars in.   can u believe that???   it was crazy, so crazy that a furniture store could get so much hype!   *sigh*   weird.   emeryville was a traffic mess.   the traffic lites were out.   we took off to chinatown to have boba @ sweetheart.   brandie n' joon left to do stuff, while the rest of us wandered 'round chinatown 4 a bit b4 returning to b.town, going over to jerome's, watching last yr's banquet wushu video, n' that brings us to what i wrote 'bout us doing on sat... i mean, i wrote 'bout it yesterday... but it was stuff we did on sat... u know what i mean.

so also notice that i posted that lost journal entry from fri.   u can go back n' re.read the improve "good friday 2000" entry from 21 april, 2000.   i miss san jo n' wanna go visit.   mmm...   think of something relaxing.   i'll imagine this scene: ocean, waves, seagulls, rocky shores, sandy beaches, warm breeze, blue sky, the smell of salt water.   it'd be nice to take a daytrip to carmel.   17 mile drive.   monterey.   that's what norcali's all 'bout, right?   well, sorta...   hrm...   i'm flashin' back to this old journal entry: "i pity da fool!", from 01 april, 1999.   i wrote out the lyrics to "i will not take these things for granted," from toad the wet sprocket, an old song from the ancient days when i was in hs.   (i can start those stories out w/ "yeis nal, yeis nal..."   long, long ago...)   *sigh*   c?   what's a 24 yr old s'pposed to do?   *sigh*   what's the on.line journal of a 24 yr old s'pposed to sound like?   so what do u think of all this "i agree w/ paul" stuff?   i didn't understand it till ppl explained it to me on fri while we were @ dinner @ great china.   some guy named paul lai wrote some document proclaiming the christian faith, n' so christian groups on the cal campus put 2gether "paul week," where students wore "i agree w/ paul" t.shirts.   i guess, u can read this daily cal article to learn more: "christian t-shirts stimulate debate."

fruits n' vegetables r good fud.   i'd like to have some melons, some grapes, some oranges, some pineapple.   please give me some, thank u.   didju know kaela gave me a loofa backscrubber 4 our 3 month anniversary.   i've always wanted a back scrubber.   thank u, kaela.   i like.   now i'm gonna mount a plastic hook thingy somewhere in my shower, so i can hang the backscrubber up, u know?   otherwise, it'll keep sitting on the edge of my bathtub.   my apt's such a mess.   *sigh*   more fruits, more vegetables in my life.   when's cherry season?   i'd love to have some sweet cherries.   next weekend...   we got the promotional exams 4 taekwondo.   kaela'll test 4 her 1st kub, her black stripe.   we'll have the uc martial arts program awards banquet on sun @ sam won kalbi @ 700p.   i think dr. min's out of town.   k...   that's all i'll write 4 now.   when i think of something interesting, maybe i'll write more.

[later] let's think 4 a sec...   why does goofy get treated like ppl, while pluto hast'a be a dog?!   i don't get it.   goofy kicks it w/ mickey, minnie, n' donald, while pluto hast'a go fetch the paper n' eat tablescraps, right?   so, like, goofy's totally sold out, huh?   he'll try to blend in w/ society, while actually degrading himself so much, huh?   society only accepts goofy cos they like laffing @ him.   so there's like this 2-tier society 4 dogs.   goofy might be considered 1 of the successful dogs, 1 that's made it big.   he's a star.   but is he really respected?   then u got pluto.   he's a dog, true to his roots, but he doesn't get to enjoy the same stuff goofy gets to enjoy...   goofy gets to speak english... but every1 thinks he sounds goofy.   ('least he's more comprehendible than donald n' more masculine than mickey, right?)   goofy gets to have a bunch of teenage kids or nephews or whatever they r... just like donald gets to...   ever watch that show on disney afternoons w/ goofy's relatives?   (ne romantic partner that goofy indeed has surely isn't as well exposed as minnie or daisy.)   he's got it all, huh?   it's all white picket fences 4 him...   but pluto...   hrm...   he'll continue to just live the simple life, he'll never know of those riches, but maybe he just doesn't buy into the whole system.   yah, i know that the topic of goofy v. pluto was discussed in stand by me.   have u ever drank donald duck orange juice?   yah, i 'member drinking donald duck orange juice.

i started writing this journal entry 1nce already n' got cut off from the dialup.   neway, i rarely write journal entries on sundays, right?   but i'm writing 1 2day.   it's easter sunday.   i'm @ kaela's, writing on her 'puter.   i took her to khayyam's on solano 4 lunch.   yesterday, we did the eggster demo. it was fun.   it was a lott'a work/werk/wurk tho' moving the mats.   we had to move them from the rsf to vlsb n' back.   we used my 4ester.   c, it's so useful, huh?   i'm really glad i've got cargo room.   my 4ester's proven to be really, really, really useful.   hrm... i'm questioning that spelling... looks 2 much like "4runner."   my forester has proven to be really useful.

oh yah, khayaam's!   middle eastern fud.   'twas good yes.   last nite we ate @ burma superstar: supermike, darlene, jerome, mike sia, deanna, kaela, n' me.   'twas really good.   we watched movies @ 1000 van ness.   brandie n' master lim joined us.   we split into 2 groups: u.571 n' high fidelity.   brandie, master lim, kaela, n' i watched high fidelity; the others watched u.571.   high fidelity was really kewl!   ah... reminiscing 'bout my bascom circuit days... afternoons spent @ tower records n' streetlight records...   it was such a funny movie.   i guess it's a "romantic comedy," but a li'l more intelligent than the average ursa.   wow, fri nite, we watched gen x cops on video.   that was really awesome.

so can't i write something substantial n' not just recap my weekend?   someday, i shall.

i wrote a journal entry but left it on my work 'puter.   i'll cut n' paste it when i can... sooner would be better, they say.   so i'm in the process of making the benofriends pages nicer.   keep checkin' them, to c if i updated them.   i have new pics uploaded here n' there, but i haven't had a chance to integrate them all into nice, presentable pages.   will do.

[this is the journal entry that i left on my work/werk/wurk 'puter.   i'm pasting it in on mon morn, 24 apil, 2000.]   2nite, we have a ucopen committee head dinner mtg @ great china on kittredge in berkeley.   ah, weekend.   well, 2morrow, we got 'nother demo.   this 1's 4 the eggster easter egg hunt on campus.   we'll per4m @ 200p on the northside of vlsb.   so i've been scanning lots of pics lately.   i went to costco yesterday n' picked up more pics: snowtrip pics, kaelapics, n' pics of beno n' kaela...   i really like kaelapics!   she's so sexy...   *sigh*   what to do?   neway, i fell asleep while scaning pics yesterday evening.   i woke up late 4 practice.   i hurred over.   i was all groggy but woke up after warming up.   we did sparring, counter attack drills, n' i worked/werked/wurked w/ patrick liu.   i like master lim's teaching cos he's tries to get us to have basic common sense when sparring.   stuff like, why kick ur opponent as he's kicking u?   u'll just smash knees.   instead, back up, wait 4 ur opponent to miss, or block him/her, then come in w/ ur counter attack...   jimmy kim talked 'bout how, after he practiced a lot, things became clear, he could c when the openings in space n' time were... where n' when he could hit his opponent.   he sed it's like when u start driving: @ 1st, traffic is scary; every1's zoomin' by.   but then u get experienced, n' it's like time slows down, u can c where the cars r n' where they're not.   it's like the matrix, i think...   neo starts cing everything, all the in4mation...   time slows down cos it's just a bunch of coordinates, right?   well, neway, i wish i could be know it all, have it all 2gether like that...

ecclesiastes 3:18 (from the king james version):

"¹to everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: ²a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; ³a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; ⁴a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; ⁵a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing.   ⁶a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; ⁷a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; ⁸a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace."

celebrate: yes, it's kaela n' beno's 3 month anniversary.   i'm really happy that some1 so wonderful as kaela has been my gf 4 3 months now.   yah, both of us have had long relationships in the past, so 3 months isn't like "wow, how did we ever stay 2gether 4 3 whole months?!"   but the question is, "wow, how did i ever find such a wonderful gurl as kaela?!"   kaela has a midterm 2day.   i tried to stay out of her hair last nite to let her study.   she was w/ me as the clock struck 1200a, midnite, so yes... i like.   kaela makes me very happy.   i hope she knows.   i think 'bout her all the time.

mourn: the mourning doves...   *sigh*   sad.   the babies hatched, something went wrong...   earlier, some1 had left a paper bowl of rice 4 the burdies.   the mutha burd started using the bowl as their nest instead of the nest they built.   i dunno what went wrong.   this happened 2 days ago.   2nites ago, i came home n' the mutha burd was gone.   i looked in the bowl.....   i found the baby burdies in the bowl, all fuzzy n' grey, but not alive.   *sigh*   it was very sad.   the next morning, i talked to a lady that lives on my floor, n' she noticed what had happened 2.   i think she posted the sign that i saw on the door yesterday.   it told tenants to keep the door shut cos every yr, the burdies come n' build their nest there, n' every yr something goes wrong...   so she's asking that ppl just leave the door shut, so the burdies won't build their nest on that spring/cylinder/closing mechanism.   *sigh*   but the mourning doves r so cute!   i loved having them live in my apt bldg.   this morn, some1 had posted a response.   he/she was angry that the woman had "accused" ppl of murdering the burdies but agreed that the firedoor should be shut, 'least cos it's the law.   i dunno...   all i know is that i like burdies, n' it's really sad that this happened to them; n' i'm sad i don't get to c the mutha burd every nite when i come home.

cherish the memories: last nite, after i dropped kaela off, after i took a shower, i scanned lots of pics in.   i scanned lots of ucopen pics n' kaelapics n' snowtrip pics, et cetera...   i really like kaelapics.   i keep looking @ them.   *sigh*   well, i got 'round to making a new ucopen 2000 foto album.   go 'head n' take a look.   i also want to get all the pics from all the snowtrips this season n' put it into 1 foto album.   i also want to somehow organise these kaelapics n' pics of me w/ kaela.   *sigh*   i really like kaelapics.

yesterday, after i left the office, i went to costco n' picked up the 2 rolls of film kaela needed 4 the uc open report.   they didn't have the other roll i dropped off.   hrm... weird.   well, i'll check 'gain 2day.   my suspicision is that every1 likes kaelapics, so they're taking longer w/ mine, so they can make copies 4 themselves.   i went to the rsf to pass out uc open t.shirts aftr that.   we had a good demo practice.   i drove master lim home, n' picked up kaela n' jerome b4 i did that.   so the 3 of us went to drop off master lim.   on the way back, jerome n' i got seasoned curly fries from j.box.   jerome had a large vanilla shake, n' i had a large lemonade.   we could'a watched the marge censors itchy n' scratchy episode of simpsons, but jerome was getting 2 dizzy watching my watchman in my car as i drove.   kaela n' i saw toby n' talked to him after we dropped off jerome @ the americana, right 'cross the street from toby's.   sure, i just listed off 2 many details, but that was 4 my sake, not urs.

so 2day's entry'll be a shorty.   i've been getting in the habit lately of staying a li'l after work/werk/wurk n' writing my journal entries here.   2day, i wanna go to costco.   well, last nite, darlene gave me a "green is good" sobe cap.   kewl!   what a nice friend i have!   i realise now that "green is good" caps must be only on lizard lightning bottles.   that's why i wasn't gettin' ne.   oic.   well, darlene, supermike, kaela, n' i went to daruma 4 dinner after practice last nite.   kaela bought me dinner.   she's a sweet gurl.   i like.   is this the life, or what?   i have a beautiful woman buying me dinner!   crazy...   neway, we switched daruma's big screen tv to upn cable 12 n' watched simpsons, the thanksgiving episode, the old 1, from way back when...   w/ bart's running away from home; that 1.   the owner or manager came out n' chewed darlene out 4 taking miso soup from the self.serve crockpot w/o buying fud, only a drink.   *sigh*   oh well...   he's usually a really nice guy, but he gets anal n' stingy sometimes.   i dunno why.   lessee...   what do i want to say?   i don't like it when bicyclists ride across the street in the crosswalk n' expect u to stop 4 them as if they were pedestrians.   bicyclists r not pedestrians; bicycles 4 vehicles.   bicyclists should obey traffic laws.   this is a lame pet peeve i've been meaning to voice 4 a while.   but i remember when i was a kid, i hated to walk my bike 'cross crosswalks, the way the crossing guards wanted u 2.   but that's how the law is...   if u wanna be a pedestrian n' have cars stop 4 u, u should be walking ur bike.   imagine a guy pushing a car across a crosswalk; he'd be a pedestrian, n' i'd have to brake 4 him.   k, i wanna go to costco now.   c u later.

we watched the simpsons "treehouse of horrors viii" last nite.   i had never watched all of it b3 last nite.   'member sunday's episode?   "stupid, sexy flanders!"   ha ha ha.   that was my favourite line, of course.   i love simpsons episodes which r not so 4mulaic, which don't follow the sitcom 4mat.   sunday's was 1 like that, 'nother'd be the episode w/ the carnivorous lizard investation, 'nother'd be the "do what you feel like" festival episode...   those r all good episodes.

last nite, after work, kaela n' i went to costco, yes, to drop off film.   notice that i started out this journal entry w/ "we," meaning "kaela n' beno."   sometimes i say "we," meaning all of p. crew.   hrm...   interesting, huh?   no, i'm not gonna ditch all my friends n' only talk to kaela.   don't 4get 'bout how i've kept kaela's benofriend page just like the other benofriend pages; i didn't mention that she's my special benofriend...   i did add a pic to it a while ago, but it wasn't a pic of me n' her or nething.   i s'ppose i should mention that she has a bf named beno, since i mention that dave has a gf named emily, that derrick has a gf named kay, et cetera.   oh, i gotta mention that i recently did add some pics to certain ppl's benofriend pages, so u'll want to go thru them again.   i also gotta say that jerome's got quite a nice collections of pics on his page 2!   i mean, he's got pics of all of us p crew ppl, nice pics.   i'm gonna keep adding pics to the benofriend pages, so be sure to keep checking them.

after costco, kaela n' i went to the rsf cos i had to pass out t.shirts 4 to the hardworking uc open volunteers.   i did this a yr ago 2.   while i was in the ucmap office, i saw a stapled bunch of papers.   ah! 'twas the list of volunteers from last yr who got t.shirts.   i sat in that closet every evening 4 a few weeks, waiting 4 volunteers to get 'round to picking up their t.shirts.   this yr, i'm just gonna do it 4 2 weeks, last week, n' this week; n' i'm trading off w/ peter yen.   last nite, dr. link warned me that dr. min'd be coming back to the ucmap office in 'bout 1hr45m, n' that he was really pissed, so i'd best escape 1st.   yah, so kaela n' i left.   raffi n' brandie came into the office a li'l while b4 we left.   efren, joon, deanna, mike sia, n' supermike came to practice taekwondo, but kaela n' i skipped practice n' left.

i went home to get my overdue laundry n' took it over to kaela's where i could do laundry n' hang out w/ her.   i also brought over the yong.in hankido demo team kuk moo doo demonstration videotape.   kaela had cooked some salmon, clam, n' veggie fettucine n' we ate it w/ some smoked oysters n' hashbrown potatoes.   we watched the video.   i started my laundry.   we watched simpsons.   man, laundry took 4ever...   all the dryers were taken...   there's 1 dryer n' 1 washer on each of the 4 inhabited floors of her 5 story (+ roof level n' garage) apt. building.   the dryers weren't working 2 well.   i was washing towels n' hard-to-dry stuff.   i put 1 load in the 1 available dryer on the 3rd floor.   it didn't dry 2 well, so when the 1st run of that dryer finished, i decided not to use it.   i had to wait 4 'nother dryer to open up.   i fell asleep.   kaela had already fallen asleep while studying on her bed.   kaela's sister jeanna came home n' was studying on the top bunk of their bunk bed.   i woke up later, n' sleepily loaded the dryer on the fifth floor w/ my wet laundry from my 2nd load.   it was a really hard nite to do laundry.   i dunno why every1 in their building was so determined to do laundry that specific mon nite.   *sigh*   it's really hard to fold laundry that's only semi.dry.   my 1st load was only semi.dry, n' i had to give up cos i ran out of 0.25s.   phew!   eventually, i finished.   i gathered up my things n' left.   kaela was asleep, but jeanna was awake studying.

reruns, reruns, reruns.   i entitled this journal entry "reruns" cos some things in life come 'round again, such as passing out uc open t.shirts n' good simpsons episodes, n' hrm...   well, stuff!   if u'r smart enuf, i'm not being really deep here.   i mean, there's not much of a clever observation in comparing simpsons episodes to uh... tv shows? ha ha.   neway!   i wanna rerun some ideas tho...   allow me to cut n' paste some of my own wurds from some recent e.mails:

from a recent letter to jerome ri:

"cute gurl in lab, huh? [in response to his saying that there was a cute gurl in his lab.]   *sigh*   weird to think how life changes.   i mean, really!   i do still know when i c a cute gurl!   no kidding.   my objectivity has not changed 1 bit.   i talked to [anonymous male friend] 'bout this on the last snowtrip cos he sed there were so many cute white gurls on the slopes, n' i sed, 'really?!'   (as in, i didn't think so...) n' he sed i'm just 'still in the stage' where i don't notice other gurls.   but i told him i don't think that's true @ all!   i notice cute gurls.   then he asked 'what if u find they're cuter than kaela?' or something.   well, hrm...   i really think kaela's attractive, n' i tell her that all the time.   she's really my bag, u know?   i really like it when we go out on dates, n' she dresses nice n' stuff.   i _really_ like that.   i tell her very often that i think she's so hot n' everything.   it's to the pt that i would wonder if she thinks i only like her 4 her looks, but that's not true...   she's got so many right things.   there r just so many pts that match what i want, personalitywise.   so i really don't like her _just_ 4 her looks.   neway... i got sidetracked.   let's get back to [anonymous male friend]'s question.   so the thing is... i can't be more attracted to ne other gurl than i am to kaela, altho' i'll always admit it when i c an 'attractive' gurl.   u know what i mean?   well, hrm...   i really think kaela's hot."

hrm...   why did i want to share those wurds?   yah, i know kaela's gonna read this, but i didn't post this to flatter her...   altho' i really think she's such a hot item as well as a brilliant, intelligent individual, n' i can't stop thinking 'bout that whole package...   urgh!   neway...   what i was saying is that.. hrm...   well, i wanted to discuss this idea of the differences in mentality of a single v. attached person, right?   hrm...   u know, how i feel 'bout it, right?   i think ppl in relationships must strive to be as true to themselves as they can.   i think ppl in relationships also must strive to continue to develop themselves just as much as they did b4...   the whole idea of a guy n' gurl who do all sorts of kewl things b4 they get 2gether...   gurls admire the guy 4 this n' that; guys admire the gurl 4 this n' that...   n' then, if they get 2gether, n' they all fall apart, that's not that good!   i mean, let's say the guy used to work out a lot b4, but now he figures, "i got a gf now, i can relax," n' gets all flabby n' yucky... that's no good!   n' if the gurl used to some good hobby n' used to excel in it, but then figures "i can stop now; i've got a bf," that's no good either, right?   i mean, it's good to be content n' happy w/ ur partner, but i don't think it's good to be, uhm... i dunno content in that way, right?   uh...   wait a second, was that my point?!   i don't think so...   grr!   my pt in rerunning what i sed to jerome was to say that hrm...   i'm not saying that kaela's a hot chick w/o having ne basis 4 comparison n' saying she's just hot cos i say so...   she's a hot chick cos she is a hot chick amongst all these other elements of society.   ha, is that the right wurd?   neway, i'll try not to say 2 much more cos i'm talking so much 'bout kaela.

from a recent letter to chals chang:

"i mean, it's like...   i used to think, 'oh, i know why i like deejaying parties 4 ppl, but do guys like toby get joy out of being a barber?'   cos like, doesn't it cm like every group of friends needs 'least 1 deejay n' 1 barber?   n' then maybe 1 really buff guy, 1 really horny guy, 1 guy that gets lots of chicks, 1 guy who knows everything 'bout computers... i dunno... it cms like in college u got those kinds of groups... like frats or something, where ppl'd purposely hang w/ this symbiotic crew...   like didn't it cm, in the dorms, there'd be a person in each building who claimed to know 'the buffest guy,' 'the most stacked gurl,' 'the smartest guy/gurl,' et cetera?"

that's how it is, right?!   i mean, 'specially 'bout the dorms n' dormlife n' the guy who thinks he knows these extraordinary ppl.   i'm just tellin' it like it is, ain't i?   eh! it's all part of folklore, right?   it's all part of oral tradition...   it's like telling tall tales or something.   don't 4get that folklore isn't necessarily false!   folklore can be true.   folklore is just oral tradition!   we cringe when we hear "oh that's just folklore!"

k, my last rerun thought is that i would like to ask u to go back n' reread my 22 nov, 2000 "1st snow of 99/00 season" entry.   i dunno.   carol wrote an e.mail to me 'bout some stuff, n' it reminded me of some things from that entry.

ah, reruns.   what a trip down memory lane, eh?   'member when i used always allude to pm dawn's "set adrift on memory bliss"?   ah, clubbing...   i really wanna go clubbing soon!   i hope we go to avaron after promotional tests!   i want to put more pics up on my page.   i'm gonna prob'ly snag some from jerome's page to add to the benofriends pages.   that's sorta tied in w/ reruns!

*sigh*   i'm so glad that the uc open is over cos this weekend, i felt so much more free.   wow.   yah, fri evening, i tried my best to make it a special nite 4 me n' kaela.   i guess u can read her journal to hear what we did.   i dunno how those flowers got in her apt.   :-)   so i took her out to dinner @ the upstairs room @ the cliff house.   as u read on fri, i sorta had to rearrange plans cos we were running late.   ha, since we were listening to my new ivy megamix 2 cds in the car, i felt like i was @ avaron w/ all that korean musik n' rave musik.   so when the waiter took our drink orders, i had to order crown royal n' coke.   ha ha.   i was hoping that didn't sound 2 ghetto...   could'a asked 4 some bottle of fancy wine instead, huh?   tsss...   neway, we had a nice dinner altho' the ambience was 2 loud.   it was nice cos the fud was good n' my date was this absolutely, stunningly gorgeous, hot chick!   man, she looked so hot in that outfit!   unh!   1nce the big table of big ppl left, i could c kaela's reflection in the mirror behind her.   she was wearing a halter top, n' geez...   wow!   she really wears it well.     *sigh*   what to do?   i was so happy to be w/ her, to spend time alone w/ her, n' talk 'bout *sigh* everything...   just 4 the record, she had scallops on basmati rice, n' i had duck breast w/ yams.   she had a garden weed salad 4 appetizer, n' i had escargot in puff pastry.   wow! weird to think...   my appetizer eats her appetizer!!!!!   imagine that!   2 levels of the fud chain @ the same table.   well, even after 1 loud party left, 'nother loud party came in, so i knew i wouldn't keep my beautiful date there 4 dessert, so i took her to ghiradelli square to share a "strike it rich" parfait.   it was pretty late, so we were in n' out of there pretty fast.   yah, the last time we were there 2gether, we surely weren't like this...   i mean, that was back when she had broken her foot doing the taekwondo demo @ haas.   *sigh* weird, huh?   there's pics of that nite on my webpage.   after ghiradelli, we went to j.town to take a few neoprints.   geez, guys...   i really hope u all find a gurl that's as wonderful as the 1 i got, n' i hope u find some1 who's as compatible w/ u as i feel kaela is w/ me...   really!   n' same goes 4 all my female friends; hope u all find them special ladies 2!   ha ha.

well, sat: it was a bizzy day 4 ucmap 1nce 'gain, but @ least 'tasn't the uc open!   we did 2 cal day demos in front of the rsf.   big audiences.   the demos went well, altho' uhm... jerome smashed my pinky again.   we were running out of boards, so we had to modify the 2nd demo to have diff n' less breaks.   joon's a monster; he really breaks bricks well.   really!   it was really cold out there.   what a diff from last yr's cal day demos, where/when the sun heated up the mats, n' the mats burnt our feet so badly.   well, after the demos, i helped w/ concessions @ the wushu tournament.   i've done concessions 4 martial arts tournaments, so many times.   i was surrounded by lots of hot dogs n' pizza.   well, eventually, i left the tournament cos s.mike called me n' told me he had some urgent personl bizness to discuss w/ me.   so i left n' went to his house, but he had taken off to darlene's n' told me he wanted to have dinner w/ me n' maybe a few of his close friends right away.   urgh, it was really hectic.   i needed to pick up kaela from her mcb mtg n' get showered n' stuff.   well, i kept darlene n' s.mike waiting 4 a very long time @ tony roma's (jack london square), but we 'ventually got there.   ribs, ribs, ribs...   geez, what an unhealthy diet this weekend!   *sigh*   romatini.   we watched romeo must die.   'twas an awesome movie.   ha...   yah, that opening scene...   uh...   ha ha.   i guess a lott'a guys liked that opening scene.   hrm...   i liked the movie a lot, but hrm...   some things weren't totally kewl.   like, some acting was kind'a bad, some...   like, just the way the asian ganglords talked like dr. evil n' friends, u know?   i mean, it was just not realistic...   but 'course jet li was awesome...   russel wong?   yah, like his acting was so.so.   n' tsss...   it did disturb me that, just like the chow yun fat / mira sorvino replacement killers thing, how come jet li doesn't even get a kiss @ the end of the movie?!   the setting was much 2 nice to be oakland...   ha ha.

sun: yong.in hankido seminar.   i knew dr. jin bang yang from this summer's korea trip.   i recognised some of the demo team members 2.   hrm...   so like, whenever i c master na, the 4mer judo instructor @ cal, i bow n' stuff.   actually, i guess i never really talked to him, but this time he talked to me, "jal issuh?"   "jal issuh, ney."   [so kaela read this n' sed the way i sed that doesn't really make sense cos it's mixing 4mal n' in4mal...   c, it's that kind'a stuff that gets me in trouble, u know?   'specially, how i don't know how to speak 4mally.]   n' so on...   so....   so later he tells the yong.in judo professor that i'm korean, so the yong.in judo professor started teaching me n' my practice partner in korean...   well, it wasn't 2 hard to understand, cos when u'r learning martial arts it's all "apuro, apuro," "dwiro," yeopuro," "irohkei," "allassuh?" kind'a stuff...   so sun was a day (n' nite) full of speaking very broken korean.   oh yah, so we had 1.5 hr lunchbreak.   i was hoping kaela could meet me, but i guess she fell asleep.   we went to the durant fud ghetto, so i went ahead n' got dwaeji gui from steve's just like i was talkin' 'bout last week...   i would'a just ate some naengmyun or something but bear ramen was closed.   it's hard 4 me to eat n' then workout, but we were supposed to just watch the yong.in demo when we got back.   instead, we worked out n' then watched the demo.   i bet it's cos the demo team ate 2 much @ their china village lunch.   ha.   the yong.in demo was really kewl.   u know, out of all the some 20 ppl they had, they only had 1 female.   i wondered if it was weird 4 her.   they sold t.shirts.   i expected some really official, gov't issue looking shirts, but instead they had this cute cartoon gurl in the hankidobok that they wear, which is white pants w/ blue judo top.   so it's funny cos since there's only 1 gurl on their team, that cartoon charater must be her... 'cept it doesn't look like her.   i also bought a video tape of their demonstration.   i haven't cn it yet.   so...   clinic/seminar/demo ended, n' i went w/ brandie to the main oaktown post office to turn in her taxes, but the window wasn't open, just the lobby.   upes.   so i went home n' waited 4 master lim to call me re: how we'd hang w/ the yong.in peeps.   i watched simpsons: "stupd, sexy flanders!"   s.mike also wanted to hang.   i didn't know what to do since i was s'pposed to hang w/ the yong.in peeps, but no fon call!   so me n' kaela went w/ s.mike to 168 n' conversed 'bout life 4 3hrs.   then we met up w/ the yong.in peeps after getting the 411 from brandie; they were back @ their rooms @ the beau sky hotel.     it's so much fun to hang w/ them n' talk 'bout american culture, i guess... how toe rings r 4 gurls, not so much 4 guys...   ha.   cos 1 of the guys so badly wanted romy's toe ring.   wow, they snacked on really unhealthy fud!   ha! tons o' doughnuts, ramyun out of the bag, soda, etc...   ha, funny.   they were so excited 'bout showing us their ramyun, but we told them we have it in america 2.   u know... it is pretty interesting to hear kaela speak korean...   so it was a fun nite.   no drinking or nething, just lots of joking 'round.   i'm pretty disappointed that ucmap isn't going to yong.in / korea this summer.   i was saving up my vacation days 4 that.   geez, i might even consider going to korea w/o ucmap, but i don't want to impose on ne1 over there.   i'd really like to go.   ucmap's going again, next summer.

ppl r so bizzy.   last nite, after practice, a few of us went to thai basil.   i got so full b4 i finished my pineapple curry.   i was more interested in jerome's dwaeji bulgogi frome steve's.   it was spicier.   i rarely order dwaeji cos hrm... it cms so unhealthy just by the nature of it, but then again... it's tasty n' dwaeji bulgogi is usually, like, spicy, u know?   mmmmm....   i like.   darlene, phil, jerome, kaela, n' me.   we ate.   well, darlene just drank a drink n' maybe tasted other ppl's fud.   as i dropped ppl off, they discussed hrm... penis size n' stuff like that.   i guess that topic started while we were still eating, huh?   but ppl kept talkin' 'bout it.

man, but ppl r so bizzy n' stressed these days.   why is life like this?   i wish it weren't.   i wish we could all be free, free as burds.   or 'least buy 1 get 1 free.   free to fly, fly, fly away n' back.   it cms like i c limitations, boundaries, n' restrictions everywhere.   rats in cages.   why must we be so bound?   this ought to be a clothing optional environment!   just the way nature intended it.   ha ha ha.   neway...   4 reals...   whatzup?   so much work, so much skool, so much paperwork, so much taxes, so much stock market crashes, so much this n' that...   mmmrgh!   stoopid stock market.   must we go thru 'nother depression so soon?   tighten pursestrings.   *sigh*   i don't go out to lunch nemore, i bring fud; u know that.   if we go thru a depression, then long skirts'll be in.   isn't that weird, how skirt lengths always follow the economy?   so is it really gonna be 'nother depression?!

k, not much more to write 2day.   uhm, we got cal day demos 2morrow n' the wushu tournament to volunteer @.   on sun, the yong.in demo.   i'm looking 4ward to that cos it'll hopefully be fun like being @ yong.in this summer.   man, i just wrote something on the cal taekwondo party crew yahoo! page that is just like a journal entry.   in fact, it was more of a journal entry than this pathetic entry.   *sigh*   well...   lemme tell u...   if u don't know what to call it, call it a "bracket," u'll prob'ly be right.   i've already toldju that.   ken helped me reset my vocoder setting on my fon.   kewl.

[later]   so i'm waiting 4 kaela to get ready cos i'm gonna take her out 2nite.   i'm listening to my new ivy megamix 2 cds.   i'm not playing it loud, but i think the neighbour below is pounding on the floor to tell me to turn it down.   i turned it down, but then i couldn't hear it, so i turned it back up; then the pounding resumed.   stoopid anal-@$$ neighbour!   sheesh!   my stereo's gotten me into lots of trouble in my apt bldg.   i was telling kaela yesterday 'bout the note left on my door the morning after i did most of the work 4 the benomix2 cd.   *sigh*   back soph yr, i got a 4mal complaint, like a eviction threat.   i don't get it.   i really am not playing my musik loud 2day.   those other 2 times, eh... sorta questionable, but 2day?   sheesh!   i know my speaker (i only have 1 speaker cos the other 1 blew @ last yr's uc open party!) has a lotta bass, but i don't think it's that much!   *sigh*   is "anal-@$$" an ok wurd?!   it's sorta redundant, isn't it?   neway, i'm so happy that kaela n' can go out 4 1nce.   we never get to go out!   u know, i just realised that i have a bunch of new clothes in my closet that i never wore cos i bought them, but we never go out nemore.   when i say "we," i don't mean just "me n' kaela," but i mean...   i dunno...   ppl 'round me don't go out nemore!   it's crazy!   *sigh*   it's the great depression, huh?   well, what 'bout joy luck?!   u read the actual book, right?   'member the whole theory/notion of joy luck that was in there?   'bout senselessly, insanely celebrating in the midst of turmoil.   i dunno.   is that a sound notion?   well, i'm dressed already...   upes, gotta take off the tag from this shirt.   jam kkan man...   kaela's v.day present, used the butterfly knife to take of the tag.   okay, well, what should i do now?   i already switched the venue 4 the evening 1nce.   the 1st place didn't take reservations n' told me there'd be a 1 hr wait if we showed up @ 800p.   so i switched the venue.   i made reservations @ 900p @ an undisclosed location...   don't wanna say just in case kaela decides to check my journal while, i dunno... drying off?   mmm...

so i was gonna talk 'bout something a while ago...   a few nites ago i saw a subaru outback drive past me on dwight way...   or it was already ahead of me, i mean.   it was a young, asian guy driving...   don't 4get, 4esters r cars 4 middle-aged lesbians!   neway, i saw his license plate: "4dym927."   that's very close to mine!!!   then i saw the license plate holder: "carlsen subaru; redwood city."   whoa!!!   that means he bought his car right b4 me @ the same place, n' he was prob'ly there @ the dealer while i was there!   whoa!!!   weird, huh?

i've been talkin' 'bout this movie a lot lately.   it's an old movie.   it stars kevin kline, danny glover, n' steve martin.   it's from 1991.   i really, really, really liked it.   this is the synopsis that reel.com gives: "polished, star-studded drama about upper-middle class l.a. residents confronting aging angst and urban fears.   best-appreciated by fans of moderately paced, character-driven drama seeking a perceptive look at contemporary class/aging concerns."   u can buy it 4 $8.99 there.   yah, i saw it my freshman yr of cal, in my foothill suite.   i think josh lynn, phil's ex.roommate, rented it.   *sigh*   we should watch that movie 'gain sometime.   i watched it w/o ne expectations; i hadn't heard much 'bout it n' had no clue what it's about.   should i talk more 'bout the movie, or shall we watch it?

i guess i'm hoping that we'll watch it cos i'm not writing 'bout it.   well, when would we ever have time to watch it?   of course, i want to watch romeo must die.   lack of time is depressing.   i never have a problem falling asleep @ nite, i was telling ppl.   i told them how my mom sed she does, but i told her that i never do n' maybe it's cos i get more exercise, so my body's just so tired it needs to sleep.   whatchu think?   "r u strong enuf to be my man?" sings sheryl crow.   i want to be a strong man!   i try.   so let's reflect 4 a sec: what am i satisfied w/ in life?   n' what in my life dissatisfies me.   i like kaela.   i'm very happy that she's in my life.   satisfied.   i'm busy 2 often tho.   ever since i was a kid, i always imagine this certain peaceful scene as my ideal peaceful scene...   green, green grass on rolling hills; blue, blue sky w/ a few white, briskly moving on clouds; a nice, gentle breeze; li'l flowers here n' there in the grass, maybe white daisies.   the colours r so rich.   hrm...   is this what i want to c in heaven?   it's like that movie... uh... u know, robin williams... uh... he dies... all the colourful paintings n' allusions to pieces of art... uh...   oh yah! what dreams may come.   i think cuba gooding, jr.'s a great actor.   neway, that peaceful scene, that landscape... *sigh* maybe i drew a picture like that w/ crayola crayons when i was a kid.

i don't believe in reincarnation.   u've cn the video to (new order's) bizarre love triangle??   the musik stops n' there's this chinese lady talking to a detective, "i don't believe in reincarnation because i refuse to come back as a rabbit or a grasshopper!"   then the detective replies, "you're a really up person, aren't you?"   supermike believes in reincarnation.   i don't.   when i die, i want to go to heaven.   the bible sez there's no marriage in heaven.   that concept always sorta puzzled me, sorta.   i guess some ppl think of heaven as a very physical world.   some of those more buddhist turned christian ppl might think of it more of a state of the soul or spirit, right?   i dunno.   i'd like it to be like in what dreams may come.   ('cept i don't believe in reincarnation.)   ppl always made fun of that title, "wet dreams may come."   *sigh*   neway, why am i talking so much 'bout the afterlife?   don't worry, i'm not kill myself.   i don't have a motorcycle to drive off of ne cliff.   cliff bars...   winter depression in spring?!   it rained last nite.   it rained a li'l this morning.   it rained 'bout this time a yr ago.   it rained 'bout this time 4 yrs ago.   hrm...   check out my 1st entry of the beno manifesto, pt.ii.   that smashing pumpkins lyric, i like that.   n' i talked 'bout the mourning dove people!   wow.   n' that entry discusses much 'bout "why i have an on.line journal," u know?   wow.

well, last nite, i practiced taekwondo.   then kaela n' i ate dinner @ daruma.   the ppl there were watching dragon: the bruce lee story on usa.   it's good that they have a tv @ daruma.   it really improves the atmosphere.   it's more fun that way.   after dragon finished, there were some cheesy shows: crush n' friends or lovers.   all these love connectionish shows...   the guy working @ daruma was so into the show.   he was funny.   more talk 'bout fud: i had katsucurry there last nite.   it was okay, but the taters were overcooked, in my opinion.   i didn't order ne pearl drink.   these days, @ work, i avoid eating out, so i can eat healthier n' save money.   i have uc open bagels n' lunchmeat n' kraft free sandwiches, etc.   i also eat plenty of poptarts n' butterfinger/crunch quaker chewy bars.   i eat a lot @ work.   i oughtn't eat after practice, really oughtn't, but i do.   i really want to scan more pics 4 this webpage.   i know ppl like pics.   it takes 2 long to read all this drivel i write, so pics r good.   i really would like to scan more pics; i just hafta find the time.

[appended on later...]  this is an excerpt from my most recent post on café chulho: "imagine if we didn't have so many responsibilities in our lives, if we could take a sat(urday) out of our lives n' go play softball in some gree field in cupertino or walnut creek.   we then could eat some monstrously huge party togo's sandwich.   they make really long sandwiches 4 parties, u know.   imagine if that were possible."   yah, how did we ever find the time to do those things?!   extended warranties 4 subarus...

so, really?!   a pony isn't a baby horse?   lisa simpson named her pony princess in episode 8f06, "lisa's pony."   hrm...   i wonder which episodes of simpsons aired last nite.   *sigh*   not enuf simpsons in my life!   sad.   so what's goin' on?   how r u doing, 2day?   feel free to e.mail me or sign my g.book/g.spot.   i feel bad that all i did 4 yesterday's journal was recap junk n' talk 'bout taekwondo.   u know what?   i think this y. peter kang guy is a good daily cal columnist.   'member the depeche mode song "i feel you"?   i just read how i wrote "i feel bad..." n' i thought of that song.   it's ur privilege to put $2000/yr into an ira acct., don't 4get.   okay, am i getting 2 random in thought now?   sorry.

i'd like to give special recognition to some ppl on the web, some ppl who have stopped by my page recently n' who have pages of their own: noele lusano, kristine marie, n' henry tee.   thank u 4 stopping by my page n' letting me know who u r!   i really appreciate it!!!   i know lots of ppl enjoy the pics of my crew/friends/family/etc.   i really want to scan more, really do.   i hope i get a chance do so soon.   i guess, i feel i ought to clean house 'round here, make my homepage look nicer if so many ppl r stopping by.   spring cleaning.   i'm sure other homepage hosts get the same feeling.   i not only want to add more pics, but i feel i should add some more subtantial pages.   what would i write 'bout?   should i write more 'bout my asian.american experiences?   should i write more 'bout taekwondo?   should i write more 'bout snowboarding?   should i write more 'bout korean musik?   should i write more 'bout kaela?   should i write more 'bout my family?   hrm...   howzabout all of the above?

why do i have a web journal?   i'm sure i've addressed this issue b4.   *sigh*   but i read on carol's journal... i mean, i visited that link she posted on her journal, the link to the "why web journals suck" page.   eh...   i dunno.   i think i've thought it thru.   why do i have a web journal?   well, it all goes back to my "mourning dove people" roots.   back then, i could keep in touch w/ a group of friends via e.mail list; i could tell them what was going on w/ my life, n' then i could also share bits of original prose n' poetry et cetera.   n' others did the same via that list.   *sigh*   it was kewl.   but then, i didn't want to bother every1.   i couldn't tell who wanted to be on that e.mail list, n' who didn't.   so eventually, i just started this beno journal or the beno manifesto, as it was 1st called.   well...   since then, i've also gotten into the taekwondo party crew mailing list n' the private cal taekwondo party crew yahoo! club page et cetera, but i still keep the journal...   i don't feel bad @ all writing lots n' lots of junk here, while newhere else, i would eventually feel intrusive.   un4tunately, i don't get to write much fiction stuff here, like i used to in the mdp list.   that's 2 bad.   i always thought 'bout publishing the writings of the mdp crew, not just my stuff, but the writings of the other mourning dove people 2.   oh yah...   which brings me to 'nother pt!   i'm so happy that the mourning dove is still living on that door on my apt building floor!!!!   woo oooooo ooo ooo ooo!   i like!   neway... web journals.   uhm...   my intended audience is 1st off, friends.   also, i know my family reads it.   n' i also am really glad that strangers read it.   shall i call them strangers or "friends i don't know yet"?   why do ppl have homepages?   it's sorta that "15 mins of fame" thing, right?   most ppl view my homepage via frames.   if u break out of the frame n' view my index page, u'll know that it's entitled "if u have five seconds to spare."   do u know where that's from?   it's from a smiths' song, "half a person."   "and if u have five seconds to spare, then i'll tell you the story of my life."   ah...   weird, i wonder if u knew that i had that title on my index page or not.   if not, i just revealed something to u.   now it's ur turn to reveal something to me.   ha ha.   that makes me think 'bout purdy the dirdy birdy.   *sigh*   i really like purdy the dirdy birdy!   [i'm adding these next few sentences after writing the following 2 paragraphs...   my mind is sometimes 2 random, i guess.]   i keep my web journal to remind myself what i've done in life.   yes.   but i keep it on the web to let others know.   yah, i know ppl who don't know me read my journal.   notice, i don't really have a profile page on my homepage yet...   that's 2 bad.   i'm disorganised.   but i think ppl can get to know me by hearing my latest thoughts.   some ppl can read btwn the lines, right?   right.   [k, end of the addended thoughts.]

last nite we practiced.   mark barish n' sanaz shahbazi were our guests.   mark, i used to always practice w/ mark.   i 'member when he was a yellow belt, he was impressed by my push back kicks on the heavy bags.   ha!   then he promoted faster than me n' got his black belt a semester b4 i did.   then we taught white belts 2gether; then we taught yellow belts 2gether.   then he moved to north carolina.   well, he came back 4 the uc open n' hung 'round berkeley till 2day.   it was good to c him again, altho' i didn't get to talk to him much.   that's 2 bad.   after practice, some of us went to mandarin house in the durant fud ghetto to get pearl drinks.   it was such a party there, so many young ppl were just hangin' out @ the fud ct last nite.   it was so crowded.   we never got to c erin's car, altho' she sed she'd show it to us.   she never used to drive, but now she's got a car.   i heard it's a droptop beemer.   i picked @ jerome's fud but only had a lychee pearl drink 4 myself.

so i told kaela some of my thoughts on relationships yesterday.   my philosophies on relationships mostly stem from my observations of my parents' marriage/divorce and my experiences in my past relationships w/ nelly n' vivian.   when i was a single man, i tried to think these things thru.   i wrote 2 essays during that time: what a want in a woman n' what i want in a relationship.   i won't let ne1 read those essays, 'cept someday, when i'm married, i'll let my wife read them.   that's what i say.   it's important to think 'bout relationships n' whatchu want in 1, how to maintain 1, et cetera.   i think so.   hrm...   n' maybe some single ppl gotta think 'bout how to get into 1, huh?   ha ha.   [@ this pt, i went back n' added those thoughts to that "why i have a web journal" paragraph.]   i really like kaela, if u haven't noticed.   i want her to be my princess.

so i haven't written in a long time.   how r u?   me, bizzy, 'course.   work bizzy, uc open bizzy.   now, the uc open is done.   maybe u've kept up w/ all these newsitems via kaela's journal.   that'd be dope, y'all.   so what's been up?   yes, the uc open happened.   argh, so much stress the day b4.   well, i just got stressed off of every1 else's stress, i think.   honestly, i've gotten so used to dealing w/ the uc open...   i've done it 4 so many yrs.   i volunteered in 1994 n' 1995.   i headed concessions in 1996.   i headed concessions again 4 the 1996 nat'l collegiates @ cal.   i headed hospitality in 1997.   i headed concessions in 1998.   i defacto headed concessions in 1998 @ the wushu tournament.   i headed volunteers in 1999 n' again in 2000.   neway, i didn't mean to give u a uc open volunteer résumé.   i merely listed off those credentials to remind myself; i shouldn't 4get.   u know, when i test 4 my 3rd dan, i'll need to turn in yet another martial arts résumé, n' i guess we include those volunteer work positions on that résumé.   i dunno.   neway, i won't claim to know everything n' won't claim to be always capable of remaining as kewl as a q-kumba ('member that group?   q-kumba zoo?   "the child inside."   the south african group.)   however, every yr, i feel a li'l more relaxed, i think.   the reason is that i think i've learned to trust ppl.   most stress when working on something like this comes from not believing that other ppl'll get their stuff done.   u know u'll get ur stuff done cos u do it, but u'll stress that so-n-so'll flake out, n' this n' that.   but i dunno...   1nce i learned to trust that other ppl can also be responsible, i started feeling a li'l better, u know?   neway...   so uc open eve came n' went...   next thing u know, it's uc open day!

i woke up bright n' early, got to haas pavilion...   hrm...   lots of stuff to do...   luckily some volunteers came so early!   kewl.   this alfred guy was really, really, really helpful n' a nice guy to work w/.   same w/ this sam chen guy.   c, some ppl r really nice.   neway, i had to run 'round, n' do lots of odd jobs, u know?   typical uc open morning.   n' then i had to do poomsae, compete.   yah, i did keumgang n' got a silver.   some guy who also did keumgang beat me.   i saw him a coupl'a yrs ago @ stanfurd.   he beat me then w/ his keumgang 2.   so i guess he's been 2nd dan 4 a while now.   honestly...   honestly, i felt my keumgang was better.   i hope that doesn't sound 2 cocky.   i could'a n' should'a practiced more, but i dunno...   maybe i looked 2 tense.   kaela sed in her journal that dr. min thought i should'a gotten gold n' gave me a gold medal later just cos... but uh...   that's not really how it went!   dr. min more like err...   scolded me 4 not being able to win gold since i'm the cal "demo team captain" n' told me to work harder.   later on he gave me a gold medal just cos that's a dr. min thing to do...   pass out the extra medals to random ppl that he cs.   uhm...   it's hard to explain, but if u know dr. min, u'd understand.   i felt good tho' that dr. min knew that i got silver, even tho' he was not happy 'bout it.   like, it's nice to know he knew what was going on w/ me.   it motivates me, so yah... i'd like to try harder.

neway, yah, kaela competed 2.   i hope she knows that i'm honestly impressed w/ her poomsae.   i think she does poomsae much better than i did when i was a red belt.   1nce u getchur black belt, u still gotta go back n' do ur taegeuk.   like, last summer we were working on dr. lieu's project, that poomsae cd.rom.   that was good practice.   i had to work on my taegeuk chil jang over n' over n' over...   n' that summer, i also worked on keumgang cos i was testing.   but that summer i did keumgang master jang's way, the traditional way.   then last semester dr. lieu gave me some pointers on how to do keumgang 4 competition to make it look more impressive, u know?   judges in competition don't necessarily know what the poomsae is traditionally s'pposed to look like, but they know what they like, u know?   so it's diff, doing poomsae 4 promotionals n' doing poomsae 4 competition.   neway, kaela exemplifies the reason when i was a clueless lower belt n' was given some survey 'bout gender n' taekwondo, i sed that women do poomsae better than men do.   her taegeuk pal jang really shows grace n' stylish agility.   i think master jang sed taegeuk chil jang n' taegeuk pal jang r good 4 women to do.   women do nicer tiger/cat/kitty stances, i think.   not to be sexist, but it's harder 4 women to do nice keumgang.   keumgang's 4 heftier ppl.   stomp, stomp, stomp!   maybe i'm not the best person 4 keumgang.   i guess i'd like to learn taebaek then, but uhm...   i don't spend much time on poomsae neway.   well, kaela got bronze 4 her taegeuk pal jang.   then in between picking up pizzas n' doing other stuff, she got ready 4 her sparring/gyoroogi match against rosalie.   she kicked paddles n' stuff.   i actually really don't mind coaching her or training her.   it's a lot better than i expected.   i think i can emotionally detach myself from the situation better than i expected.   i always worried i'd put 2 much pressure on her n' wouldn't be able to treat her objectively as a student, but no...   even tho' ppl like sally worry i can't, i actually think i can.   neway, kaela got silver in her gyoroogi division.

so uc open...   what a day.   lots of time spent cleaning up.   i just tried to be useful in whatever way i could.   i wanted to get out of that gym as soon as possible, so i tried to get ppl cleaning up early.   i kept in mind that thing dr. link sed 'bout not doing the "it's not my job" bit.   i didn't hafta unclog ne toilets w/ my hands, but i tried to do good things.   ha, this guy ryan han.   now, that's a funny story.   he's this 16 yr old kid who flew in from utah n' had no place to stay the nite b4 the tournament n' the nite of.   so brandie let him stay @ her n' kaela's new place.   he helped out a lot, n' i wrote him this letter 4 his national honor society community service thingy.   that's funny, tho', huh?   this kid had no where to stay.   c, it's a good thing he was polite n' all.   if he insisted on acting like a punk/thug, then ppl wouldn't have been so nice to him, i think cos i 'member hearing dr. link saying, "since u cm like a nice kid..." this n' that.   i didn't even c him yet, but i heard it w/ my back turned cos i was making t.shirt vouchers on the stoopid mac 'puter (which kept on crashing).   then i turned around n' saw him.   like, he could'a been some goody.goody nerdy kid or some streetpunk.   just think 'bout how i looked like my sr. yr of hs... w/ purple, long hair n' ripped up clothes...   like, would ppl think i looked like a kid they'd want @ their apt 4 a weekend?   i dunno.   it was my free choice to look like that, to express myself.   i don't regret that i did; but i had to face consequential judgment from others 'round me, i guess.

neway, phew... uc open cleanup...   lots of brooms n' dustpans n' moving mats.   mmm...   i ate so much fat slice pizza, japchae, n' kimbahp that day...   there was so much fud everywhere.   well, we went to kip's after cleaning up.   kaela went home to take a shower.   i didn't shower.   i drove us to kip's after she was done.   kip's...   if u don't know kip's, it's this fratboy / sororitygurl pizza/beer/drinks hangout owned by this chinese family.   i heard lots of drunk fratboys wanted to pick fights w/ us.   ha!   that would've been a scene...   i know we would'a gotten in a lot of trouble if we had started nething.   dr. min'd kill us!   ppl had fun, danced to the jukebox musik.   i didn't deejay this yr.   master lim was there, n' he was so much fun to be 'round!   i told sanaz shahbazi how i had met her 6 yrs ago n' remembered her cos she sed she was from san josé.   now she's this world class competitor.   the party was a lot of fun.

sun(day), s.mike drove darlene, kaela, n' me out to pho king in oaktown.   we ate there, then s.mike dropped kaela off @ home, so she could study.   then the leftover 3 of us went to goodguys! in emeryville to look 4 s.mike's jvc kaboom boombox.   they were out.   well, we went home.   i napped.   i ate uc open bagels thruout the day, b4 pho n' in the evening.   i watched the simpsons n' x.files.   what a foxtv nite!   i took kaela out to get pearl drinks @ mandarin house n' to procrastinate @ party safeway.   then she had to go home n' continue studying.

last nite, mon nite, i went home to san jo.   i worked in sf.   i left to san jo from sf.   i did my taxes w/ my mom.   i was s'pposed to pick up a new jazz pager from ken, but he didn't have it ready, so he'll send it.   i also needed to stop by fry's to get an ide cable 4 kaela, but i didn't get to do that in time.   fry's closed b4 i got there.   i ate dinner w/ my mom @ olive garden on blossom hill.   i had the grilled chicken crapi... i mean, capri.   i wish it had linguine instead of angel hair pasta.   i wanted to eat pasta cos i knew kaela was eating pasta, n' i wanted to feel closer to her altho' i was away from her...

well, taxes done.   hrm...   stuff to take care of...   yah, there's stuff to take care of.   uc open is done.   phew.   gotta wrap that up, do demos, this n' that.   got lots of work stuff to do.   gotta take care of that.   yah...   that's life.   ha.   well, i guess i want summer to come so ppl 'round me'll be less stressed.   last summer was fun.

[later on...] beno = bioethics network of ohio.   here's they're homepage: bioethics network of ohio   so i found out i was mentioned in some1's journal 2day cos i talk 'bout fud.   ha ha.   don't 4get, tho'...   the ppl who own pasand n' who own my apt... well, the kingpin of the mob is being accused of molesting n' raping women n' stuff...   so ppl r asking u to boycott pasand.   butchu r right: pasand does make good fud.   i think they speak punjabi, not hindi, so my talk 'bout indian gangsta rap should've mentioned punjabi lyrics.   i used to always hang out @ mod long cos they had all the kewl imports n' indie stuff.   ken asked steve master's (who used to deejay @ live 105 back in those days) n' asked him where he got his musik, n' steve sed mod lang, so we'd go there, way back in 1993, our senior yr of hs.   weird.

oh, so tired!   oh, oh, so tired!   oh, so tired!   me sleepuh long time!   mmm...   so 2morrow, i shall compete in the men's black belt traditional poomsae competition.   keumgang.   i hope i do well.   last minute entry.   i was doing matchmaking last nite w/ sally n' her gang.   i had to weigh in 2day.   i wrote my weight as 149.   i had to be under 152 then.   i weighed in @ 150.   kaela n' i went to eat @ some sushi village restaurant in emeryville on our way to ghetto super k to buy lunch tickets 4 the volunteers 2morrow.   oh, so tired!

fud, fud, fud.   that's right.   after reading kaela's journal, i realised i didn't talk 'bout what/how we ate after the uc open mtg.   we were gonna go to her place to just have some soup since i'm sick, but then we figured it might take 2 long, so we went to shk (sun hong kong), so i could get some wonton w/ noodles soup.   yah, she had the singapore style rice noodles.   that's "meefun," right?   neway, the wontons were good, the rice noodles were tasty n' greasy.   kaela took care of the bill even tho' according to her journal i "took" her to shk.   eh!   ok, whatever she'd like to believe.   ha ha.   yah, then we did go to c their new apt, hers n' brandie's.   nice place out in albany.   the landlords own café del sol, a restaurant i've always cn out on solano, but have never been to.   well, my landlords own pasand!   my landlords can beat up ur landlords!   hrm...   i sincerely hope that there is such a thing as indian gangsta rap.   really!   it'd be kewl.   i mean, u have korean gangsta rap, right?   when the reddy boyz come n' gatch'a down, i wanna hear hindi lyrics over those boomin' bass beats.   uhm, but i don't really want the l.b. reddy family to shootchu.   no, not unless u'r some annoying, bad, evil person whom i don't like.

neway, on to more important matters: 1nce again, a mourning dove has made a nest on the door to my hallway, the hallway that leads to my apt unit.   mourning dove!   woo ooooooo ooo ooo ooo!   wooo oooooo ooo ooo oo!   i really like mourning doves.   i learned in anthro 161 (folklore class) that mourning doves nest near good ppl.   that's nice to know.   i really, really, really like mourning doves.   i wish i could express to u how much i like mourning doves...   *sigh*   the world will never know.

so...   my pmsness hopefully'll soon go away.   again, yesterday, i was pretty pissy.   after work (werk), i went home n' napped.   i woke up n' picked up kaela to go to dr. lieu's lab to help sally ho w/ the uc open matchmaking stuff.   we got there fashionably late, 'round 900p.   the whole procedure supposedly started @ 730p.   when we got there, every1 was eating laval's pizza n' had saved none 4 us.   they had finished the 1st 0.5 of the procedure, sorting out reg 4ms.   we were to help w/ the 2nd 0.5, putting competitor in4mation on cards via address labels.   but 1st, kaela n' i went to topdog.   i ordered a bird dog.   c, my pmsness came out cos kaela was talking 'bout her investment class, n' how the lecturer used jdsu as the perfect example of a bad stock investment.   i was really pissy @ the moment cos that was the stock tip that vivian (my ex-gf) gave to me, n' i followed, n' i ended up losing money.   neway, i'm really sorry that i was so testy.   that's the right wurd, right?   sounds like "testes."   neway, we finished w/ the matchmaking biz 'round 1030p, n' we drove to the other top dog, on durant, n' we each got a sausage.   2 topdogs in a day 4 beno!   this time i got a chicken apple, n' kaela had a lemon chicken.   man, why do on.line journalists talk 'bout fud so much?   it must be that fud is such an intersting topic cos of that fud n' sex correlation 'gain, huh?   we barely missed the simpsons @ the durant topdog.

sausages, sausages, sausages.   hot russian mustard.   moutard.   so ken's got my jazz pager ready.   my pager number's gonna change; 'least the prefix'll.   the last 4 digits'll remain the same.   ken's switching me from pagenet to metrocall.   i gotta go down to san jo.   i just don't know when i'll have the time.   really don't know.   fud, fud, fud.   what's to eat these days?   poptarts.   i bought a 36 pack of poptarts from costco that day.   i'd like to go down to san jo n' do stuff.   stuff, stuff, stuff.   let's think 'bout fuds u'd like to eat.   what do u feel like eating?   chicken strips?   jalapeño poppers?   fried calamari?   honeydew melon?   cantaloop? (that's a benospelling, not a mispelling.)   watermelon?   pineapple?   strawberry?   chicken dumpling soup?   aisukuriimu?   fud, fud, fud.

i'm sick.   got a cold.   i've got this awful bitter taste stuck on the back of my tongue.   i dunno why.   so yesterday, i took the day off of work (or werk) n' a subset of the cal taekwondo demo team did a demo on sproul plaza 4 asian pacific awareness week.   wow, the demo went really well.   we had a coupl'a messups in the basic techniques, but otherwise, it went really smooth.   "smoothly" or "smooth"?   neway, i'm glad kaela was part of the demo.   she easily succeeded w/ all her breaks.   kewl.   joon did the andything n' broke, not just his 4 bricks, but 1 of the brick holders 2.   i had 1 of those really splintery breaks.   i guess my board was really moist.   i broke the board w/ my usual jump spinhook, this time over joon's head, n' the board had lots of splinters sticking up.   i think, 1tym, i had a board like that, n' it broke, but the 2 0.5s were dangling off each other by a a few fibres.   well, this time it wasn't like that, the board broke.   yah, i think the demo team did quite well.   happy.   it was a really busy day.   i took joon w/ me, in the morn, to pick up boards from ashby lumber.   we tried to buy him some taekwondo shoes from young's trading, but they didn't open till 1100a, n' the demo team was to meet @ the rsf @ 1100a.

after the demo, kaela n' i ate @ espresso experience, shared a king size chicken bulgogi sandwich.   i guess she felt it'd be a long time since she'd heard ahjumas chatter w/ korean accents.   like, the only korean accent she hears these days is master lim, n' that's, of course, totally diff.   well, it was a fun lunch.   'twas kewl to be able to be free, in berkeley, w/ such a lovely young lady as kaela.   such a nice day.   after lunch, we went shopping @ octopus.   i bought a pair o' pants, black dressier cargo pants.   uhm, i have a pair of grey pants which r really similar n' from the same company, but hrm...   i knew i wanted some less 4mal yet slick black pants...   n' they weren't 2 expensive, u know?   i have this dilemma.   if i bought 32 waist, the waist'd be 2 loose.   if i bought 30 waist, the waist'd be fine, but i'd have this awful wedgie look on my butt.   yuck!   so i bought the 32 waist; my other pair of pants from this company r 32s.   ok.   so now we went home to my garage to drop off them broken boards.   i sure have a lot now.   then we went to touchless to get my car washed.   it was so durty!!!   then we went to costco to buy stuff.   i specifically wanted sobe.   i wish costco'd sell bulk packs of all the diff flavours.   *sigh*   i'd want: drive, green tea, lizard blizzard, lizard lightning, lizard fuel, sobe lean (all flavours), power, elixir (all the flavours)...   i don't like wisdom.   i get sick of the costco variety pack flavours: power, elixir (2 flavours), n' energy.   hrm...   but i do like them... just i wish i could have more variety.

so neway, i realised in the afternoon that i was getting sick w/ a cold...   i felt the sore throat.   urgh...   from that point on... man... i felt i was a pretty unpleasant person 4 the rest of the day.   i dropped kaela off @ her class after costco.   i went home n' napped.   i woke up in the evening n' went to taekwondo practice.   we worked on poomsae 4 the 1st part of class; then we worked on sparring kicks via paddle drills.   then we had a long uc open mtg.   man, uc open biz is stressing me out.   1) i'm not getting much feedback re: how committee heads r doing w/ # volunteers, so i fear they rn't even thinking 'bout it.   2) dr. link n' other authorities tell us black belts that not enuf uc berkeley taekwondo ppl r signed up 4 the tournament n' us black belts ought to register 4 the tournament to set an example 4 the rest of the club...   but sheesh!   how am i supposed to compete when i got so much volunteer work to do to run the tournament?!   in my humble opinion, wushu ought to run our tournament, n' we ought to run their tournament.   3) urgh! there's just this general aura of stress 'bout uc open...   there r so many li'l probs or something or other...   all sorts of disorganisation...   *sigh*   as always, a few ppl r doing the work 4 all the rest.   there r plenty of lazy ppl who rn't doing nething.   then there r those who take lots of credit n' do lousy jobs!!!!   why do ppl volunteer 4 positions n' then just whine 'bout it all day?!   why volunteer in the 1st place then?   some ppl just love the credit they'll get 4 being known as some great volunteer, u know?!   *sigh* *grumble* *grumble*   lemme tell u: kiss-up sycophants suck!   the 1s that'll do nething 4 authority figures n' do ne task that gets them close to authority figures, but when it comes to helping out a peer?! they just skrew u over, u know?   k, neway... griping, griping, griping.   sorry.   i'll be so glad when the uc open is over.

the week after uc open the yongin demo team'll be in town.   that should be kewl.   prof. yang from yongin'll be here.   he hates cilantro.   ha.   i remember, master lim was w/ me n' others somewhere, some chinese restaurant; n' i pted @ the cilantro n' sed, "yah, prof. yang hates that!" n' master lim remembered 2.   prof. yang told us a story 'bout travelling to beijing, n' all the fud had cilantro.   so he 4ced himself to eat lots n' lots of cilantro until he could tolerate it.

so most days, these days, it cms like i'm waiting 4 something, but i don't know what it is...   hrm...   am i waiting 4: the uc open to end, summer to come, the workday to finish, the workweek to finish, this 20something inbetween life to end, godot, the stock market to stabilise?   i dunno; what am i waiting 4?   is there something i'm dissatisfied w/ in my life?   how do i want to change it, n' why don't i just make those changes?   r there obstacles?   remember wise liane, n' how she told me not to anticipate things in life cos when i'm all old n' stuff, i'll wish life had gone by slower?   'member that?   so i should cherish every second of life.   i don't like stress.   i don't like keeping up w/ the joneses (or the chens, lees, n' kims).   doesn't it just cm like some ppl thrive on that?!   they want to earn big name positions w/ high salaries...   there's nothing inherently wrong w/ wanting to have a successful career.   but why does it cm to me so many ppl have an unhealthy drive?   well, hrm...   maybe my perspective is skrewed up.   i'll tell u: in the future, i never want to pursue nething in life n' neglect, like, my wife n' kids... uhm... not that i have ne of those yet, but u know what i mean?   i always fear the idea of being this overworked working man coming home late everynite n' being all stressed out n' not being a good father, not being a good husband.   hrm...   why do i think 'bout those things?   u know what i mean, right?   n' why am i asking so many questions?   *sigh*   well, 1 thing @ a time...   enjoy life.   i'm really sorry 4 being such an unpleasant stresscase lately.

urm...   daylite savings time.   mrgh...   why?!   nuts.   neway, i had a fun/busy weekend.   jeff made all our lodging arrangements.   we stayed in the exact same cabin/condo that we stayed in about a yr ago on the last spring cal taekwondo part crew snowtrip.   funny.   a lot less ppl this time, tho': jefflyn1, jefflyn2, dave, andy, krishelle, dr. eric johnson, roland, darlene, kaela, n' me.   un4tunately, krishelle got fud poisoning on her n' andy's way up.   so she was sick by the time we got there.   also, jefflyn got into a big, bad car accident right in front of dave's office, when they were about to pick up dave.   nuts, huh?   so dr. eric drove instead of jefflyn.   we had a late start on the road.   andy n' krishelle went up earlier, b4 us.   our 2 cars stopped in some north bay area place to eat @ j.box.   somewhere like fairfield or something.   it was kewl to c dave eat more cos it oftentimes cms like he doesn't eat that much.   it's kewl to have some1 who wants the rest of ur fries, u know?   the "r u gonna eat that?" guy, u know?   i 'member back in the days when toby used to be the garbage disposal.   ah, those were the days.   neway, fish n' chips, strawberry minute maid soda, n' a side salad w/ j.box's buttermilk house dressing.   later that weekend, jeff asked if i liked j.box's fish n' chips.   he had ordered the same along w/ 2 j.box tacos.   eh, i so-so liked them.   they were 2 greasy, i guess.   dr. eric n' i discussed how real english fish n' chips come wrapped in newspapers.   i heard 'bout that when i was in england, the summer b4 i came to cal.   actually, i think i ate real english fish n' chips in england, during the time i stayed w/ that half-indian, half-english family.   yah, i think so.   they speak english in england.   neway, back to the spewing of events!   so we drove to tahoe...   we stopped in auburn to use the potty-potty n' to buy some beverages such as drive sobe.   we took 80e to 89s to 28, right?   neway, our cabin was 820 oriole #27 in incline village, nv; if u ever wanna c it.   ha ha.   there was tons of traffic on the 80.   i dunno why.   mmm...   so we got there.   uhm, yah, same cabin as last yr.   we pretty much went right to sleep, right?   i think so.

sat, we woke up bright n' early.   we boarded @ northstar cos i had these $34 coupons.   kaela, joc, n' rolo took lessons.   the rest of us did tons o' boarding!   darlene un4tunately hurt herself on burnout, 1 of the kewl black diamond downhill runs on the backside of northstar.   this past season, i became a li'l bit of a speed freak cos i never used to go fast, just wanted to jump n' do li'l tricks.   i sped down burnout both times we went.   dave kept up w/ me, n' later he told me other ppl on the slope were pissed @ us 4 going so fast.   i didn't notice.   part of why i was going so fast was cos the slope was sorta crowded, so i didn't have much room to turn n' slow down.   boarders know: sometimes u gotta turn to slow down.   beginners almost always turn to slow down, but more advanced boarders know how to just do 1 or the other: turn or slow down.   neway, when u'r going as fast as we were w/ flexy freestyle boards, it's not that easy to just shove ur board 90 degrees n' snowplow to a stop.   neway, yah, it was really fun to be speed demons 4 a while.   then we did 3 concecutive runs down the lookout lift area.   that means, we went down that snake chute thingy, thru the ground zero 0.5-pipe, thru the ground zero terrain park, n' thru the polaris park 0.5-pipe.   3 times.   uhm, maybe jeff n' dr. eric only did it w/ us 2ice.   they split to do more downhill stuff, while me n' dave wanted to do more terrain park stuff.   dave pted out that i was now going 2 fast off jumps.   yah, i knew that.   i used to go 2 slow n' just focus so much 'bout what kind of grab or trick i'd do, but i'd go so slow that i'd often not get 'nuff air, just a li'l more than a flat ground ollie...   so i started doing toby-style snowboarding: barrelling down the slope @ the jump n' just doing flailing-arm ollie airs.   that's been the story 4 most of this 99-00 season.   but dave made me realise that i gotta get the balance right.   so i slowed down a bit, so i could better control my jumps, u know?   neway, after our 3 runs down the lookout area stuff, dave n' i went up vista express 2 to 3 runs of pinball (the more natural n' freeridish, as well as freestylish terrain park, run.)   it was all fun.   then all the lifts closed, n' 'twas time to go down village run.   phew, what a day!   we went back to the cabin/condo.   k, secretly, kaela n' i quickly, quickly showered altho' the group as a whole sed we wouldn't shower b4 dinner to make things quick.   but, eh!   i don't think we slowed the group down.   i started a load of laundry, n' we went off to reno to eat @ the el dorado buffet.   mmm, better than i remembered it being!   we hung out @ the buffet 4 a long time, actually.   then we went back to the condo.   dr. eric wanted to get beer from the king's bich safeway.   (kaela's gonna tell me i made a typo, but i didn't.)   weird, a can of guiness exploded!   the cashier put the plastic bag down a li'l roughly on the counter, n' the can blew up!   he also bought us some pop tarts to eat 4 breakfast.   mmm... chocosmores poptarts!   poptarts r on sale @ safeway right now, i think!   mrgh, 'twas late; we got back to the cabin.   to make things worse: daylite savings time began!

nuts, the group woke up really early on sun morn, n' we went off to squaw valley usa.   we actually got good parking spots cos we got there so early relative to every1 else who hadn't adjusted to the time change... as if we had.   ugh, it was so hard to wake up that morn!   neway, i spent most of the 1st part of the day coaching kaela.   she had some kind of fibreglass splinter or something in her pinky, prob'ly from the crappy, crappy rental board the shop gave her.   man, why do they rent out such crap?!   neway, so we spent most of our time on bailey's beach (hrm... maybe that's bailey's bich.)   then we met up w/ the rest of the group @ the big lodge @ 200p.   oh yah, rolo n' darlene sat out; they stayed @ the bottom the whole day.   squaw valley fud's a rip off, of course.   $4.50 4 a li'l thing o' pasta salad.   jeff, dave n' dr. eric had chili cheese potatos, n' kaela had a chili dog.   jefflyn got free cinnabons (not the actual cinnabon brand cinnabons, just cinnabons) from the cinnamon hut place we always go to...   the cashier didn't know how to work the credit card machine, so she just gave them to jeff 4 free.   jeff also had beer, just like dr. eric; so dang...   jeff had ingest a lot of fud.   i couldn't board after eating all that, myself.   neway, what happened after that?   uhm, dave n' the rest wanted to rest up b4 just taking the mountain run back to the base.   dr. eric wanted to go do some downhill on his skis, as he skiied that day, instead of snowboarding.   kaela n' i did some a run thru the belmont park, n' a run thru central park n' then took mountain run back down.   i felt bad 4 kaela cos mountain run was much, much more mogully than usual.   it was really crowded 2, of course.   neway, we met up w/ the group down @ the bottom.   ah, 'twas so warm down there.   nuts, we had gotten so sunburnt from those 2 days of boarding.   *sigh*   neway, 'twas time to leave.

i was sleepy so dave drove my car w/ darlene in the shotgun seat.   he drove to davis.   dr. eric showed us sudwerks in davis.   it was a really kewl microbrewery.   they had bier n' german fud!!!   'twas awesome!   i had the jaeger schnitzel.   wow, 'twas really good.   i had hungarian goulash as my soup.   the table shared this awesome sausage sampler appetizer.   wow, what a dinner.   made me want to go visit germany.   i was still tired after dinner, n' i did have a li'l bier, so i let darlene drive from davis to dave's office.   wow, i had never slept so much in my own car, in the backseat!   wow!   i really appreciate dave n' darlene driving, really do.

ah, so tired, huh?   yah.   well, gotta do demo practice 2nite.   demo 2morrow...   nuts.   i'm taking the day off of werk.   i'm gonna get my car washed 2morrow, i think.   well, demo on sproul plaza @ high noon!   nuts.

so i just rattled off events.   eh, so whatchu gonna do 'bout it???   should i have written something more intersting?   oh well.   that 4ester i saw on fri was the new 2001 4ester s.   my puter @ werk really got skrewed up 2day.   winnt totally died on me.   i spent the whole morn w/ the netwerk administrator helen reinstalling nt, etc.   it'd be nice to get some gnc vitamins.

2day, i worked in sf.   in the cpmc (cali4nia pacific medical centre), parking lot, i saw a really kewl 4ester!!!   'twas all white, not 2-tone.   it had sorta-like clearlites, chrome decals on the side, n' a sportier grill n' sportier seats.   i don't get it; where did they get this car???   it looked really kewl.   hrm...   i've contemplate w/ s.mike the idea of painting my 4ester w/ that rally blue colour that they make 2.5rses in.   tsss...   i dunno, someday after i have lots of $$$, right?   green is nice 2, u know.   didn't c kaela during my workday 2day, so i missed her.

neway, i ought to be packing 4 tahoe.   i wrote a big letter to chals n' ate a whole pommelo instead.   i really hafta pee.   dang, gotta get to tahoe!   crazy, crazy...   dr. eric johnson just called me.   dang, gotta pack.   c u!

'nother beautiful day in the neighbourhood!   blue skies.   it all reminds me of something, of some past life in the almaden valley of san jo, but i 4get exactly what i'm thinkin' 'bout.   hrm...   u know?   i feel nostalgic 'bout something, but i'm not sure what.   was it the weather on those mornings when i would go to summer skool in the summer?   it'd be really chilly in the morning, but it'd get really hot by noon.   ah, 'member those days?   those r san jo summers 4 u.   n' then u have nice warm nites as the sun sets behind the hills and the stars come out to play.   the sun comes up nice n' early.   every morning, nowadays, i wake up thinking it's much later than it really is.   i freak out.   but then i get to the bathroom, look @ my cell fon, which is charging up in the bathroom outlet, n' i realise that it's not as late as i thought.   ah, nice summer weather.   so i quickly drive to work, listening to park ji yoon's "yuhjaga namjalul dduhnalddae - kwaynchanhahyo."   i drink calcium 4tified minute maid orange-tangerine juice out of the commuter cup grace n' steve gave to me as a b.day present a coupl'a yrs back.

last nite i hung out w/ toby.   i was supposed to go to the rsf, but i sorta got rerouted to toby's.   i paged him: "461125117-2-10," meaning "haircut? beno."   he called me back on my cell n' asked if i wanted to come over 4 a haircut. i asked if i could come after practice; i wanted to do butt gallery stuff n' practice taekwondo.   he was so maybe 'bout it, so i figured, since i so desperately needed the haircut, maybe i could go do that 1st then go to the rsf.   well, i hung out @ toby's 4 the whole evening.   when i 1st got there, toby was watching some videotaped reruns of thundercats, an 80s kids action cartoon.   we sat there n' watched that.   then toby painted his license plate.   c, he drives a 1969 vw bug, right?   it's an heirloom from his dad, who passed away.   it has the original plates, the black n' yellow cali plates.   but the paint's fading away, so toby's repainting it.   so i watched some tv n' played a li'l doom 2 as he painted his plates.   i ate choco teddy grahams n' quaker oats n' honey cereal.   then i eventually got my haircut.   it's much, much, much shorter now.   that's good.   it's spring.   i like.

why do i feel like i don't have as much energy these days?   i don't want my metabolism to slow down.   some ppl my age r gettin' all fat n' stuff somehow.   it's like 1nce they graduate college n' start working, they blow up.   uhm, i don't mean to pt out ne1 in specific, butchu know?   it's just a phenomenon.   i'm 24.   no older, no younger.   honestly, i sometimes feel so inbetween @ this age.   i should enjoy that feeling, but sometimes i get all antsy n' unsure.   like, what am i supposed to be @ this age?   some ppl @ 24 r married, some might even have kids; u know?   n' then some r just livin' up the single n' wild life.   i 'member back in college, i dreaded the yrs btwn graduation n' marriage.   honestly.   but then i graduated, n' i overcame that fear.   ha ha.   i learned to enjoy this stage of life: no skool, yes money.   what's made this life so bearable n', well, enjoyable is prob'ly my friends, right?   not that i want to be dependent on a social life or nething, but i think my friends have been a great source of joy in this period of my life.   n' i don't wanna take them 4granted @ all.   i keep saying that, but i can't say it 'nuf.   neway, so i'm a 20something, huh?   was that a tv show?   was it twentysomething, or was it thirtysomething?   i seriously don't know.   however, i can look it up on the net!   jam kkan man.   doo doo doo.   (waiting 4 metacrawler to finish.   metacrawler's my search engine of choice.   it cms to be most engineer's search engine of choice; 'least 'round here.)   i remember it was on abc.   k, apparently, 'twas thirtysomething.   neway, me, i'm 20somethin'.   weird to think, huh?   life is a learning process; life is skool.   life is kewl.

so i have been sleeping 'nuf these days, don'tchu think?   i haven't been napping, however.   i usually nap after work, but i haven't been doing that.   i don't follow that schedule from last semester of work, nap, practice, eat, internet/email, sleep, start over next day.   that was my life.   ha, don't think 4 a second i want to go back to last semester!   i mean, tss... 'course i never regret nething, or so i say, but i'm much happier now cos i've got kaela w/ me, n' i'm really happy w/ her.   n' that reminds me...   next tues, we're doing a taekwondo demo @ noon on upper sproul.   that's pretty much the biggest audience u can find @ cal.   u know that?   i'm a li'l stressed cos the usual demo team members, many of them can't make it cos of classes n' work.   i've got some not-so-usual ppl coming to fill in, or maybe to join us permanently???   neway, the funny thing is that kaela's coming back to the demo team.   hrm...   she hasn't done demos since we got 2gether.   this'll be a flashback to back in the day when we related to each other just as demo team member n' demo team leader.   ha ha.   neway, demo team, demo team, demo team...   the taekwondo demo team's getting pretty wanted 'round here.   ppl keep asking 4 demos from us.   it's sorta stressful managing those things cos ucmap ain't giving us money to buy boards n' stuff.   i really appreciate all the ppl who contribute to the demo team.

taekwondo demos...   we're doing lots'a demos 4 api student groups nowadays, i guess...   asian pacific islanders.   cos i've been surfin' 'round the goldsea website lately, i've had asian-american issues running all 'round my head.   i still haven't cn romeo must die, but i heard there r 2 many string tricks, that jet li should'a been allowed to do things naturally, since he can do 'nuf kewl stuff w/o special effects.   i wanna c it!   so many of my friends have already cn it.   i was reading the bay area guardian last nite @ kaela's, n' i was reading the events section.   i guess it was an april fool's day joke edition or something.   there was an announcement 4 some per4mance art show 'bout how to be a hac (hip asian chick), or something...   it was supposedly 6 hrs long w/ no intermission, n' some chick'd discuss such issues as toilet paper brand loyalty or something like that. hrm... then i realised it was a joke.   but that brings up an issue.   u know, like, asian-american culture has so many subcultures...   no, obviously, i'm not talkin' 'bout "chinese-americans," "taiwanese-americans," "korean-americans," "japanese-americans," et cetera...   i'm talkin' 'bout: asian thuglife, slick asian clubbing types, generasian x alterna-ppl, asian-am pre-yuppy scum...   all those subcultures!   u can't say 1 asian-american experience is more asian or more asian-american than the other, u know?

so i wish i had spring break...   sob, sob, sob.   there was a ska group called let's go bowling.   i wanna say, "let's go snowboarding."   spring 2000 cal taekwondo party crew snowtrip.

it's spring spring spring.   green spring.   it's sunny, blue skied.   ah, imagine that!   it is.   *sigh*   but the tahoe snow is melting so fast; must get back up there b4 it melts!   man, i've been so bad w/ updating my journal in the past few days.   i guess every1 else has been lazy 2, tho'.   like, kaela, chals, n' jerome haven't written much lately.   n' i can't access carol's right now.   well, right now, i'm in my corte madera office, taking a lunch break, eating my pastrami n' honey mustard ham sandwich w/ soy cheese, on crushed wheat bread.   it has no mayo, but it does have ketchup or catsup.   mmm...   i just took the last bite; mmm... so good, filling 2.   yum.   now i'm eating some chococookie w/ white chocochip.   we smuggled them out of the peppermill buffet.   yum.   uhm...   am i boring u?   i bet i am.   hey, if u r into asian-american issues, check out this site: http://goldsea.com.   it's pretty kewl cos it discusses such a variety of topics.   also it does it from a more classy perspective... maybe more "mature"?   i dunno.   i hate to use that wurd.   neway, i like it.

so what have i been doing????   mon...   mon nite, i went to the rsf w/ kaela, n' we put our @$$es on the butt gallery 4 a while, then i helped her w/ some basics (taekwondo basics).   then we went to eat @ eat-a-pita.   yum.   we had the vegetarian sampler plate thingy; we shared.   yum.   it's good to eat healthier, u know?   dontchu think?   dontchu feel so much better when u do?   i think so.   neway, we ate @ eat-a-pita, then we went to party safeway to grocery shop.   i got gas from chevron on telegraph.   n' that was our exciting nite.   ha ha.

yesterday, kaela came to visit me in corte madera.   we had a late lunch w/ dave @ that bamyan afghani restaurant in san rafael.   i wanted to try some steamed dumplings called mantu.   do u think that wurd has etymology related to korean "mandoo"?   in ne case, they were out, so i had dolmas.   but their dolmas were unlike the persian dolmas i'm used to; they were stuffed cabbage!   weird.   good, but diff.   then we dropped dave back off @ his stormfront studios office, n' kaela n' i went to orchard supply.   i needed to get some stuff 4 my work, n' she needed to copy some keys.   uh huh.   ok.   so i went back to work.   after work,   i met up w/ her @ the village mall in corte madera.   i wanted to use up the rest of my br credit from those gift certificates cal got me while he worked there.   so i bought a bunch of stuff.   i figured it's better to use up the credit b4 i lose the credit slip thingy, right?   use it or lose it!   i mean, it doesn't expire; i just worry that i'll physically lose it.   well, then we went back to berkeley n' went to practice.   i was so lethargic @ practice.   i had 4gotten my dobok top @ home n' needed to go back n' get it.   i came back n' kicked paddles w/ cal, held paddles 4 owen, n' stretched.   i was so frickin' lazy.   then many p crew affiliates 168ed: jefflyn, dave, cal, owen, s.mike, kaela, n' me.   i posted a uc open poster in the 168 window.   kewl.   so s.mike is single n' on the market again.   hey gurls!   supermike is on the market!   u know u want him.

so let's discuss.   i wantchuall to give me more feedback n' discussion.   like, cafe chulho.   why dontchu write something n' i'll post it in my journal, k?   like, respond to my boring drivel, n' i'll post what u say.   hrm...   admittedly, i haven't written much lately, n' so u don't have much to respond to.   well, why dontchu pick a fight.   i know u'r all so belligerent.   i know u r.   'least write 'bout how much u like red meat, n' i'll say we should all eat less meat, 'cept raw meat.   hrm...   what r some other discussion topics?   is kaela more pretty, hot, or cute?   which 1?   now that's a topic 4 debate, right?   upes! it's now 101p, i should get back to work.   well, please...   e.mail me n' sign my g.book.   letchur voice be heard.

sometimes u bite into a fuji apple, n' u eat, n' u eat, n' u eat.   then after a bite, u realise that maybe there was some bug that tunneled it's way into the apple... n' maybe u ate that bug.   n' all u can say is, "mmrgh..."   n' all u can think is, "ugh!   yuck!   well, 'least i got extra protein out of that."   as always, i wish i had spring break.   cal is on spring break this week.   make sure u wash ur apples well.   wouldju rather eat bugs or pesticide?   me, prob'ly bugs.   they're yucky, but well...   it's only short term.   pesticides? that's long term.   i was bz on fri n' didn't log an entry.   i was bz on thurs n' didn't log an entry.   i was bz on the weekend n' didn't log an entry.   what's been going on?   yah, good question.   i think we went to mandarin house in the durant fud ct. after taekwondo practice on thurs.   had pearl drinks.   kaela n' i shared mabo tofu.   funny, a long time 'go, she ordered mabo tofu there, n' i hijacked 0.5 of her fud, i remember.   i mean, that was a long time 'go.   neway...   fri, fri, fri...   what happened fri?   went to work in sf, then went home, frantically made lodging plans 4 the weekend's tahoe trip, drove up to reno.   weekend: kaela n' i snowboarded.   sat @ squaw, sun @ northstar.   hey, we went to the peppermill island seafud buffet.   lots of cholesterol!   u like cholesterol, don'tchu?   i stretched out my stomach there.   there's this really fun nickel slots game called "the chicken game."   so i had won 5 bucks playing whell of 4tune quarter slots, so i took that 5 bucks n' invested it in the chicken game n' come out $40 ahead.   n' i quit.   man, if i had max betted that last game, i could'a won $360.   that would'a been fun.   the chicken game...   wow, i really like those graphics!   i mean, i'm not a big gambler, but it's fun to watch those chickens.   imagine playing $25 slots...   whoa...   some ppl, huh?   *sigh* 'member the good ol' days when vince n' i used to play mcdonald's monopoly so much cos vince was addicted?   ugh, i felt so sick cos i was eating so much mcdonald's.   so...   i still think it'd be really kewl to take, let's say, a 0.25 lb-er, add in a cajun chicken sandwich patty, a filet-o-fish patty, n' put bacon in there.   then u'd have 4 animals in 1 sandwich!   was the mcrib sandwich pork?   fries, fries, fries. *sigh*   i haven't heard from liane in ages.   i've decided i want to write some prose...   some sorta fictional kind'a stuff.   i'm sick of just writing the usual journal entries.   wanna write other stuff.   oh, btw, on our way home from tahoe, we didn't stop in auburn; we didn't stop in davis; we didn't stop in vacaville.   we went straight home n' ate @ 168 after grocery shopping @ 99.   on our way up, however, we stopped in davis @ wendy's hamburgers.   kaela drove up to davis, n' then i took over.

so let's say i were to write a story...   hrm...   how would i start?   i used to write stories 4 the mourning dove people all the time, but hrm...   now i feel on the spot.   hrm... so what to write?   well, i'll think 'bout this a li'l more.   hrm...   *sigh*   yah, i really dunno what to write 'bout.   it's writer's block.   lemme tell u, if i were writing on cafe chulho, i'd know what to write.   if i were writing a guest entry on on.line jams, i'd know what to write.   but i feel so in-da-spotlite here.

2day, i read kaela's "beno story."   ha ha.   *sigh*   i wish she only knew how much i think 'bout her...

i 'member a long time 'go, when i was a kid, my family'd go on day trips to sf from san jo.   in fact, 1tym we even stayed overnite in the big holiday inn near chinatown.   gee, ppl commute btwn sf n' san jo on a daily basis, but we stayed overnite...   eh, i dunno.   i guess it's ok cos we were doing tourist stuff.   we had just moved to san jo from idaho, i guess.   neway, i 'member sometimes, on the way to sf on those daytrips, we'd stop by some marie antoinette bakery in san mateo.   we'd get stuff like fruit flan cups or choco mousse cake thingies.   i dunno how my parents found out 'bout that place.   hrm...   i also 'member that my dad'd buy piroshkies from sf from some russian deli.   i wonder where that was.   i 4get, did i ever go there, or did he just bring them home from work?

yesterday, i rushed back to berkeley from work to go to the uc open press demo.   i couldn't find ne parking 1nce i got to the rsf, so i had to drive home, park the car, n' walk back.   crazy!   no parking cos of the basketball game.   the demo went well.   lots of korean journalists, i guess.   no sf chronicle this time.   yah, i was pretty happy w/ how things went.   afterwards, the demo team rushed to the snack table to scavenge over all the fud that was set out 4 the journalists, but they didn't eat 2 much.   later, we had an open workout.   i'm a li'l sore 2day cos i was working on demo kicks 4 much of the nite; lots of jumping n' spinning.   i get really motivated n' don't notice if i get tired.   it's like snowboarding.   i just wanna jump higher n' do fancy stuff.

after practice, n' after the long uc open mtg where we got to c haas pavilion, kaela n' i watched chungking express.   i like.   such interesting characters...   'course i had cn it already... (watched it sometime in the early months of 1999...   please c "imaginary vacation.")  i've cn chungking express n' fallen angels but have yet to c happy together.   we'll watch that 2nite.   i also need a haircut.   romeo must die premieres 2nite.   so much stuff to do.   there's lots of fud in chungking express, u know that?   canned pineapples, canned sardines, chef salad, all the fud in the hotel room from room service, all the snackbar fud, the aisukuriimu 4 the indian gurl, the indian smugglers' eating, the restaurant where no. 663 eats when faye keeps interrupting him... yah, fud.   i ate canned tuna w/ salt n' pepper n' 0.5 a pomelo while watching the movie.   shaggy beno needs a haircut.

what's purim?   hold on a sec; let me look it up.   oh, i must read the book of esther in the old testament.   it's a jewish festival 'bout being saved from destruction by the persian king.   isn't there something called a "purim ball"?   i think there is.   it's just that it says "purim" on my ace hardware calendar @ work.   it sez 2day is purim.   yesterday was the 1st day of spring.   so from here on out it's "spring snowboarding."   cal has spring break next week.   wow.   imagine that.   *sigh*   ah... those were the days...   man! i'm so shaggy.   maybe i ought to have shaggy, feathered hair like country kko kko.   uhm, u don't know them, do u?   jerome does.   it's a korean pop group that has this 80s retro style.   1 guy sorta has this john denverish or david cassidy look.   so it's more of a late 70s look, i guess.   *sigh* imagine that?   can i go 4 that look?

i wrote more yesterday n' 'll prob'ly write less 2day.   last nite, we practiced 4 2day's uc open press demo.   derrick lee came into town, so we went out to eat @ koko house.   his gf kay came w/ us.   yah, she still works there but didn't work last nite, just chilled w/ us.   they haven't found my pager.   *sigh*   u know, a bunch of my ol' hs friends gave me that pager as a b.day present.   oh well...   it served me well in it's life.   me n' kaela didn't want to eat 2 much.   we ordered hong hap tang.   there was more fud tho'...   like, master lim ordered a tong dalk n' told every1 to eat some n' stuff like that.   who was there?   master lim, deanna, mike sia, derrick, kay, josh, owen, chals, kaela, n' me.   me n' kaela left early.   chals left his bag in my car.   i brought it over to sandy on my way to work.   i wish sunshine came in thru my window, so i'd wake up to sunshine.   my bedroom window, i open it n' c a wall.   *sigh*   a wall, no nice view!   i should paint a beautiful, colourful panoramic scene on that wall, huh?   oh well.

so... uc open press demo 2nite.   i wonder what newspapers'll show up.   last time we got our faces all over the east bay local section of the sf chronicle.   yah, i dunno 'bout this time.   always, 'least a korean newspaper comes.   1tym, i was on the front page of a korean newspaper, but it was a bad pic of me getting kicked in the face, doing fake sparring.   i was supposed to make it look dramatic, u know?   my friend had the paper but wouldn't show it to me cos he sed it looked so bad, me getting beat up.   eh, whatever.   well, hope all goes well 2nite.   i hope me n' kaela get to watch those videos b4 returning them...   *sigh*   outlook doesn't look so good 'bout that...   i got an early morn mtg 2morrow in sf, 'nother 1 on thurs.   nuts.   i hope they give us bagels tho'!   bagels n' shmear!   i should tell my boss, "dude, that'd be dope!"   ha ha.   neway, *sigh*   not enuf time.   i gotta bring my car in 4 an oil change n' stuff 2.   it's good that albany ford subaru is open till midnite.   maybe i'll do it after work on wed n' skip practice.   oh!   romeo must die opens on wed!!!!   i toldju that i won those boston prescreening tix, right?   right.   well, tss...   obviously i didn't go yesterday.   couldn't get to boston.   man...   well, i hope i can c it this week...   i guess i hope we watch it on wed or fri.

kaela's been my gf 4 2 months now.   happy beno.   i'm happy cos i got to spend more time w/ kaela this weekend after so much not cing her last week.   that was sad.   yah, i know she's been really busy n' stressed.   i hope things get better 4 her.   spring break.   spring break is a good thing.   i wish i got spring break.   well, i plan to snowboard 2 weekends in a row.   snowboarding is a panacea, right?   right.   if u'r sick, u should go snowboarding, n' u'll get healthy.

i just saw a disturbing ad 4 a wannabe pets.com company, not the real pets.com.   it had this parakeet couple sitting on a branch, then the female sez something like, "i'm leaving u bob!" n' something 'bout a new lover, this n' that.   then the thought bubble shows a parrot...   parrots n' parakeets can't mate!   they're 2 diff species!   that's like bestiality!   it's not simply something like parrots n' parakeets 4 2 different breeds or races!   no! that's like a human gettin' it on w/ a gorilla.   they're both mammals...   they're both burds...   but then again, it's like that goodfeathas episode where the pigeon falls in love w/ the sparrow, n' they do a westside story thingy.   'member my whole theory 'bout pigeons, sparrows, n' love?   i'll refresh yo' memory.   pigeons hafta mate w/ pigeons.   sparrows hafta mate w/ sparrows.   no no no, it's not a thing 'bout "stick to ur own kind" or nething dumb like that!   it's 'bout mating rituals n' habits.   have u ever watched sparrows or pigeons mate?   they watch u mate, so u might as well get a show in return.   uhm...   pigeons.   u c the male chases the female 'round.   the male's running 'round bobbing its head n' having it's wings lowered a li'l.   it's so obvious he wants it!   he chases the female 'round, n' tries to jump on her back, sometimes succeeding 4 a short while, wobbling, then falling off.   that's how pigeons go 'bout the whole dating scene or whatchuwannacallit.   (do they still make hershey's watchumacallit bars?)   sparrows?   well, maybe sparrows r just like pigeons, but they're just not telling me.   what i've cn of sparrows, they're much more shy 'bout they're desires.   'least that's what i've cn, sparrows don't do that pigeon thing.   they're really "civilised," it cms.   we have junco sparrows 'round here.   the males wear black masks around they're eyes.   u know that, right?   if not, u haven't been spending enuf time feeding noah's bagels to sparrows 'round gbc (golden bear center).   they like blueberry.   neway.   as i c it, sparrows n' pigeos have such diff mating habits, so those single ppl out there looking 4 mates?   they gotta determine if they're pigeons or sparrows n' realise that if they're a pigeon, they won't get w/ a sparrow, n' vice versa.   yah, i used to dispense shoddy advice like this, but i know better now, right?   or is it good advice, i'm not sure.   like, u know how ed park always'd insist on asking gurls out on formal "dates," n' i'd hafta say, "dude, she doesn't do the 'dating' thing."   like that.   diff mating habits, right?   wow, this is all that babble i used to babble back jr yr of college!!!   *sigh* those were the days...   back when i used to reminisce n' be nostalgic.   nowadays, i'm 2 bz 4 that.

bz, bz, bz.   last fri, i did manage to log a journal entry.   i talked 'bout how bz i was.   last fri was st. patrick's day, n' i failed to wear green.   i ate @ pancho's on geary, n' strolled by that whole area by where brother's bbq is n' back on clement st.   u know that that area has as large irish bizness community, right?   upes.   not like i got hassled 4 not wearing green, but i figured it would'a been nice to, since i know all of them must've sported asian vêtements on lunar new yr, right?   tsss...   i dunno...   just think 'bout how thru.out elementary skool n' beyond, i was always told to wear green on st. patrick's day, or else i'd get pinched.   so now i feel guilt 4 not wearing green on fri.   however!   i did make a good e4t n' drive a green car, didn't i?   u know, i risk my life by driving a green car, right?   green doesn't catch ppl's eyes.   my mom liked the idea of my getting a green car cos she said green's relaxing.   uhm, maybe 2 relaxing... green makes ppl think of grass, trees, weed...   they don't think "car."   so they crash into me n' stuff.   right?   i think so.   luckily i haven't gotten into ne accidents in a while.   knock on wood.   *knock* *knock*   particle board.     i really knocked.   neway, flashy colours r 4 males during mating season.   think 'bout peacocks in arcadia.   now, think 'bout how the male junco sparrow wears his mask.   howzabout them mallard ducks?   red-breasted robins?   roosters.   well...   think 'bout those species where the male doesn't display diff colours, or 'least not much.   like crows n' ravens...   they're all black.   do male crows feel less manly than male mallard ducks?   n' do they worry that their women'll take off w/ mallard duck guys?   i dunno.

colours.   what r u favourite colours?   blue n' gold, go big blue, golden bears...   i don't wear red.   hrm...   colours i cm to like: black, grey, green, blue.   sometime soph yr, i decided that my favourite colours were black n' green.   that means, according to some family circle article ppl were circulating on the net, that i'm sorta domesticated n' like the family life thingy, but i'm also kinky n' into s&m, leather, whips n' chains, or something...   uh...   well, that's what the family circle article sed...   'least something like that; i can't totally remember.   it sed if pink's ur favourite colour, u hate the opposite sex.   u might not make it obvious u hate the opposite sex, but in the end u want to destroy them.   u know what i mean?   like u might be a gurl who flirts w/ lots'a guys n' ruins them or a womanising guy or something like that.   c? like it doesn't necessarily mean u'r this openly gay/lesbian type person, right?   neway... i don't wear pink.   back when miami vice was kewl, i had 1 pink gotcha shirt w/ the gotcha sharkman riding a moped on the back.   i was in middle skool.   neon colours were in.   ah... 'member when snowboards 1st came out n' the kewl thing was to wear neon snowboarding clothes?   brands like kemper, avalanche, n' barfoot were in, n' of course burton was already 'round.   i now wear a green snowboarding jacket n' ride a green snowboard n' drive up to the slopes in a green car.   green, green, green.   why do they say "green w/ envy"?   the colour of money.   the green party.   greenpeace.   soylent green.   the green grocer.   green thumbs.   the jolly green giant.   the green berets.   mixed greens.   green beer.   mr. green jeans.   wintergreen.   evergreen.   christmas green.   mint green.   army green.   green frogs.   green-bodied, peach-face luvburdies.   green bay packers.   the green mile.   green day.   green tea aisukuriimu.   green card.   walgreens.   argh!   the ever-elusive "green is good" sobe cap!!!!

black.   black looks formal n' nice.   black looks evil n' sinister.   black belt.   black tie n' coat.   black pride.   blackmail.   black male.   li'l black book.   black hair.   asian gurls' all black clubbing outfits.   black looks slick.   black looks oficial.   black is slimming.   dieter... willkomm to sprockets!   i don't wear white socks, only black n' grey.   black leather.   black lace?   i don't own n' black jeans?   "what if i were romeo in black jeans?"   that's from michael penn's "no myth."   i like that song, that sweet, sweet early 90s song.   think 'bout that...   the days when i 1st started playing guitar.   my electric guitar is black, but al liu has had it 4 the past 4 yrs or so...   bufu!   yah, i wear black.   judges n' clergy wear black.   hollywood ninjas wear black.

grey n' blue.   the blue n' the grey.   north v. south.   u c, my thoughts on grey lean 2wards black.   my thoughts on blue lean 2wards green.   black pants, black shirt, black jacket?   hrm... maybe i'd better change that 2 a grey shirt.   more contrast btwn jacket n' shirt.   no grey jacket.   which reminds me...   last nite, i borrowed steve's jacket cos he left in san jo.   it was colder than we expected.   grey, grey, grey.   grey pants, grey shirt, grey jacket.   dark grey jacket.   blue...   cal blue.   that's yale blue.   since middle skool, my skool colours have always been blue n' yellow.

hwang = yellow.   i used to wear that bright yellow cal parka.   eh, i'll sometimes still wear it.   a long time ago, i'd drive that yellow, tercel.   but i've driven more blue volvos.   "yellow is cool, cool like us."   that was the quote on a simpsons ad on the side of a bus, back when foxtv had that ad campaign.   there was also "weird is cool, cool like us," w/ scully n' mulder... or was it "strange is cool"?   they call asians yellow.   what was that line from best of the best?   wasn't ucsd's asian humour newspaper called the yellow pages?   nelson liked it.   yellow trash; u know what yellow trash is?   i mean, if there's white trash, there's yellow trash.   what do i consider yellow trash?   asian ppl who r so damn proud to be of some asian descent n' do the "asian thang" but have no concept of positively building the asian-american community.   other ppl have other definitions 4 "yellow trash."   kaela n' i were discussing this whole "yellow trash" thing on our way back up from san jo last nite.

so the weekend?   fri, i worked in sf, but then went back to corte madera @ the end of the day.   then i went back to the east bay over the richmond bridge n' met up w/ kaela @ target, where she was exchanging a messed up shelf.   we went to 99, shopped, n' had pearl drinks @ that j&s place across from 168.   she was so sleepy.   we called jerome, tried to convince him to watch videos w/ us.   we went to blockbuster on channing n' shattuck n' got the 1st n' 3rd wong kar-wai movies: chungking express n' happy together.   we went back to kaela's to wait 4 jerome to finish running.   kaela fell asleep.   jerome, he told me all sorts'a taekwondo ppl were meeting 4 fud @ durant fud ct.   i went home, parked my car, changed out of my work clothes, into warmer clothes, n' walked out to durant.   whoa!   tons'o ppl everywhere!   young n' alive ppl everywhere on the berkeley streets on a fri nite.   man, so many taekwondo ppl all gathered 4 fud.   ppl got fud from various restaurants, but we all met up @ daruma to eat.   i had fish katsu n' cali rolls from daruma.   whoa! so many ppl!   then some of us went to nrb to noraebang.

sat, i met up w/ my dad n' ate @ 168.   we looked 'round that bookstore/cdstore.   he bought stuff from sheng kee.   then he dropped me off.   demo practice.   andy's b.day party @ house of prime ribs.   watched macross plus @ jefflyn's.   2 much bad-4-me fud!   ugh!   but green tea aisukuriimu sho' is good.   n' what more? magic shell is kewl.

sun, went south.   went to tri-city.   kaela bought a new beanie n' a kewl sweater w/ a wasp or hornet thingy on it.   it looks like the hornet/wasp thingy from last yr's ride freestyle board.   i wonder how that board rides.   i rode the brushie @ least a coupl'a times.   it was kewl, 'course stiffer than my board, but still a good freestyle board.   i bought oven mitt mittens that look like something h.o.t. would've worn in their classic days (these r 4 when i'm driving 'round tahoe n' don't wanna wear my snowboarding gloves.), a burton boot bag, n' a board lock.   oh, everything's 50% now!   late season sale.   kewl, huh?   then we went down to san jo n' did laundry @ my home-home, my mom's home.   i gave kaela a brief tour of my neighbourhood almaden valley.   lots'a laundry!   we were supposed to meet ken, so i could get my new pager, jazz pager.   we watched the telly as our clothes dried.   we started watching the flinstones, the movie.   uhm, sorta juvenile, but i tried to enjoy it.   'least it was better than watching magoo, which i saw on my way to korea, i think.   i think my mom liked it tho'.   i think she was getting nostalgic 4 the days when she'd watch it when my sister was a li'l kid.   in fact, she talked 'lot w/ kaela 'bout the days when me n' my sister were li'l kids.   maybe it's cos kaela's gonna be a bio grad student, n' my mom was a bio grad student in those days; i dunno.   oh, so we ate dinner @ outback cos my mom sed she'd never been there n' wanted to go.   u know i've been there when toby, hogan, n' i took ken out 4 lunch 4 his b.day.   my mom had their something filet steak, kaela had some drover's grill plate (chicken n' ribs combo), n' i had the outback rack (rack o' lamb).   frick! so much red meat this weekend!   i was planning on entitling this entry "red, red meat."   "medium rare" was the wellness of the weekend 4 me.   i had my house of prime ribs cut prime rib medium rare; i had my outback rack medium rare.   red, red meat.   what's typical benofud?   well, 4 lunch, u'd say: 1)noah's bagels, 2)turkey breast sandwiches, n' 3)chicken burritos.   sometimes i eat veggie burritos.   back soph yr, muts (mutsubu inayama) taught me to eat more carbos earlier in the day n' then progress into more proteins.   neway...   we'll get back to the eating habits topic later.   after dinner, we got ready to leave.   we stopped by ken's place, on our way back, to drop off lawn chairs, which had been borrowed 4 1.5 yrs.   i borrowed them 4 my 23rd b.day party bbq.   ken didn't have my pager yet.   i gave him back ram we borrowed.   we went to starbuck's really quickly w/ ken n' gordon.   the starbuck's ppl gave me a free café latte.   i didn't order nething.   they just had an extra 1 n' wanted to give it away.   then we drove back up to berkeley.   i had to stop 4 gas in san leandro.   the gas nozzle jumped out of my gas tank hole n' i got a li'l gas on my hands when i picked the nozzle off the ground.   i asked the attendent if i could use the restroom, but he sed they don't let ppl inside after dark or something.   uhm, ok, i guess it was a more ghetto part of san leandro than i thought.   he gave me a wet paper towel.   i tried to get back on the freeway n' had to drive up international blvd to hegenberger to get back on 880n, which the sign called nimitz frwy 17.   weird.   ok.   well, that was sun nite.

ah, mon mon.   luckily no red meat yet.   just a jamba juice aloha pineapple w/ energy boost n' a jamba parmesan sourdough pretzel.   bz bz beno.   i have 2 mtgs @ work this week, wed morn, thurs morn, both in sf.   i gotta get a haircut; i'm so shaggy.   woof woof!   demo 2morrow nite, uc open press demo 4 the press ppl.   wed nite: premiere of romeo must die.   i won free tix to c it 2nite in boston from astyle.com, but sheesh...   how can i get to boston n' back in time?   oh well.   i'd like to c it soon, yes.   maybe we can c it @ jack london cinemas.   i told kaela, maybe some asian gangs n' black gangs will fight it out right there.   i think the movie's set in oakland, right?   dang! still gotta watch the wong kar-wai videos!   they're due on wed.   *sigh*   'least it was rent 1, get 1 free.

sorry, i've been so busy w/ work stuff lately n' stuff.   i haven't had time to keep in touch.   every1's so bz.   nuts.   i know.   ppl r stressed.   i hope ppl'll get less stressed.   i mean, i know kaela's very stressed.   *sigh*   sad.   i hope she feels better soon.   it's such nice sunshiney weather outside.   oh, shoot!   i didn't even log in an entry yesterday; i've been so busy.   i ate nother roadrage burrito yesterday, a veggie burrito.   i had to go to home depot during the day to buy a bunch of materials 4 this project @ work.   last nite...   practice, then i hung out w/ owen @ mandarin house, then i went to kaela's.   she's so busy w/ skool stuff.   2day, i ate.   i had a boracha burrito @ pancho's in sf.   burritos, burritos, burritos.   why?   i dunno, just cos.   fud, fud, fud.   why eat @ all?   i walked 'round geary n' clement, went to the bofa on clement.   sunshine, sunshine, sunshine!   whatchu gonna do this weekend?   why don'tch'all communicate w/ me?!?!?!   sign my g.spot, e.mail me, et cetera.   communicate w/ me, but don't 4get that i lost my pager.   i need to get a new 1.   it's sad.   my friends gave me that pager on my 20th b.day.   nuts.   well, what's new?   i dunno.   not much.   toby got into grad skool.   so next yr, both toby n' kaela'll be grad students @ cal.   that's good.   toby ought to cut beno's hair soon!   so shaggy!   u do know what a "shaggy dog story" is, right?

doraemon was some 70s japanese tv cartoon.   (visit a website 'bout doraemon.)   dorama is the generic term 4 a japanese soap opera, usually a mini-series, just like most asian tv shows r.   (visit a website 'bout long vacation, a japanese dorama that aired in 1996.)   daruma is a japanese restaurant on durant in berkeley n' perhaps the new p crew hangout.   weird, huh?   why no 168?   why no koko house?   well, those r both good places.   in fact, the fud @ those 2 places is prob'ly better than @ daruma, in general.   but... i dunno.   daruma is close (to campus).   daruma is cheap.   daruma is big.   daruma has a big screen tv.   all good reasons.   their tonkatsu or teriyaki n' cali rolls is usually a good bet, i was telling mike sia.   i also like oyako donburi, i told him; but i dunno if other ppl like that kinda stuff...   u know, it's chicken n' egg over rice.   i 1nce talked 'bout how that sounds so unkosher, eating a chicken n' what it provides 4 us, all @ 1nce.   what else?   ebi donburi ain't bad; greasy, but tasty, i told mike.   he liked the sound of that.   but i 4get what he ended up ordering in the end...   prob'ly chicken teriyaki n' cali rolls like most of us did last nite.   yah, after practice a bunch of us went to daruma: owen, christina, jerome, mike sia, darlene, deanna, phil, kaela, n' me.   darlene n' deanna got fud from steve's bbq, tho'.   the tv played poltergeist 2.   owen drank a sapporo 20 oz.   jerome ate tonkatsu.   it was fun, felt like family.   good times, good love, good stuff.   "good love" is a 1tym song.   i like.   pearl drinks r cheap there...   uh, cheap 4 norcali standards: $2.00.   yah, i know; down in la u can get pearl drinks 4 $1.00, but not here.   i skipped the pearl drink, last nite tho'.

so kaela wanted to use her student advantage card there to take advantage of the offer, u know?   that's why it's the student advantage, right?   she's a student, so she deserves an advantage @ daruma.   the manager made a big fuss that she had to buy $5 worth of fud to get the free soda.   tsss...   she bought $4.50, n' they wouldn't let her.   i don't get it...   like, i was wishing i could'a talked to them in chinese to get hook ups...   n' u know, it's like there could'a been 2 ways in, as i know they speak both chinese n' korean there.   however i know that they prefer to speak chinese n' r ethnically chinese.   but eh, i wouldn't know where to start, since it was already such a "no, u can't have it!" thingy.   u know, a "soup nazi" thingy.   i never saw that episode cos i try not to watch tv, 'cept 4 simpsons.   well, i think christina later used kaela's card w/ the cashier to get a free soda w/ her chicken teriyaki n' gyoza combo.   we sat down.   phil commented that he didn't understand why they had to be so stingy.   i told him that i figured that there prob'ly r kids 'round here that want to try to get away w/ "stuff," u know?   n' phil asked, "'round here?"   n' i sed, "yah."   then christina comes back saying something like, "aye! i asked them 4 more ice, n' they gave it to me in an extra cup, so now i have a coke n' a sprite!"   ha ha.   so phil sez something like, "oh, u mean, 'kids' like that?!"   *sigh*   funny funny.

i've been using much italics 2day.   italicise this, buster!   sunny daze, everything's a-okay!   i gotta get back to tahoe b4 the snow melts!!!!   *sigh*   when?

it's sorta later in the nite right now...   by my book it's still mon, 13 march; but officially it's tues, 14 march.   well, i wanted to go to the rsf 2nite, 'specially after all that #1 cali4nia roasted chicken togo's sandwich i ate 4 lunch, big lunch.   u know...   2day was a sunny day.   by "2day," i mean "yesterday."   it was sunny.   i wore short sleeves to work 4 the 1st time this yr.   now i gotta face that masculine fear of showing skin, now that spring is just 'round the corner.   u know what i mean, right?   it's so much easier 4 a woman to have a nice body.   ha ha...   really!   s.mike n' i had this discussion n' know it's true.   k, in all candidness, i'll speak.   a gurl has to starve n' workout on the butt gallery all day.   yah, that's not easy, but it pretty much stops there, as far as body goes.   guys?   guys gotta starve, workout cardio, workout mahssuhls (lift), eat lots of protein to feed those big mahssuhls, workout more cardio to burn off the fat that they ate while eating protein, then lift more to regain the mahssuhls lost from doing 2 much cardio/aerobic stuff, then eat more protein to feed those mahssuls, then workout cardio/aerobic to burn off the excess fat... it's an awful cycle.   n' somewhere in that busy workout schedules, they have to find time to grow an inch taller.   so this is why young males binge/purge eat worse than young females.   well... so i didn't go to the rsf 2nite...   i'm off to a bad start.   i didn't shake my @$$ on the butt gallery, didn't lift, didn't do taekwondo.   nothing!   instead i stayed home n' slept!   ugh!   then i groggily woke up n'... guess what.   i worked on benomix3, in a way...   *sigh*   i dunno if i let wurd get out that sometime a long time ago, prob'ly last semester, i did finish a benomix of diva's "wae bulluh."   so that was a good, small step 4 beno, n' a giant step 4 benokind.   so... the gossip pages report that beno is well in production of a benomix of yoo seungjoon's "yuhl jung."   sources say that production is almost done.   hrm...   so should i confirm those rumours?   yah, i guess so.   i locked my @$$ up in my room n' worked on deejay stuff.   that's the only way it gets done: solitary confinement.   that's why this past yr has been so unproductive, 2 much going out, 2 much socialising.   this is how it has to be if benomix3 is ever gonna leave the studio.   release date?   no wurd yet.

altho' i had that big, big #1 cali4nia roasted chicken togo's sandwich 4 lunch, what did i eat 4 dinner?   a few handfuls of post cranberry almond cruch, i guess.   i tried to eat the burrito i left @ home by accident 2day.   uhm, where was it?   i looked in the fridge n' feared the inevitable.   i had left it in my taekwondo bag since sat...   ugh! yuck!   c, they gave us free lunch @ the "cubs 4 a day" demo, so i managed to snag an extra veggie burrito lunch...   i ate 1 on sat, n' i thought i put the other in the fridge.   upes!   well, guess what.   i 1nce ate a burrito covered w/ ants that my dad gave me.   i ate it cos i was so hungry.   my dad's office had ants.   he told me just microwave it; the ants make the burrito spicier.   ugh.   i resisted as long as i could, but geez...   i was prob'ly not old enuf to figure out how to get my own fud n' was also prob'ly 2 lazy to do it...   back in those days burger king didn't exist in almaden valley.   that was back b4 starbuck's n' blockbuster moved in.   so, neway... i ate that ant covered burrito!   i flicked off as many as i could, opened it up, flicked off more, then i nuked the sucker n' ate it along w/ all its pismire nutritional goodness!   btw, "pismire" = "ant."   i think it also means "urine," or something according to some on.line medical dictionary somewhere.   maybe that's why we "pee."   ever heard the term "piss ant" or "pissant."   isn't that a wurd???   neway, i tried to eat that burrito that lived in my bag 4 2 or 3 days.   i nuked it 4 4 mins.   eh, it could be done, right? eating a 2 or 3 day old burrito.   wait, how old was it?   just 2.5 days, i guess.   neway, i tried to eat it...   it tasted sorta sour... in a way that rotten fud tastes sour...   so i just chucked it.   it was a valiant effort (or e4t), wouldn't u say?   eh, that's not very humble of me to say my own effort was valiant.   but *sigh* i dunno...

yes, every1 knows that it's true that i went over 24 hrs w/o cing kaela.   weird, huh?   *sigh*   well, think 'bout this...   what if i had eaten a rotten burrito n' died w/o cing kaela 1 last time???   i thought 'bout that.   yes, i thought of kaela.

now this is the real14 march, 2000 entry...   it's tues now, by my book.   so kaela disagrees w/ me 'bout it being harder 4 guys to get into shape than 4 women.   *sigh*   so this is going to be a he sez / she sez thingy.   "unpretty."   yah, i know that many gurls have "unpretty" thoughts 'bout themselves n' end up w/ eating disorders.   that's bad.   i did read from some 4gotten, reliable, worthy source that more young males have eating disorders than young females.   n', yah...   i just wanted to share a li'l 'bout the problem guys go thru, u know?   also think 'bout societal pressures 'round here 4 guys to eat unhealthily.   we're expected to order the full rack of ribs n' the big steak.   then what?   we gotta be cut like tyson beckford 2, right?   oh well...   just saying a few wurds 'bout the topic.   like, i guess i don't mean to diminish the idea that it's hard 4 a woman to fit into society's standards of beauty, i'm just saying guys can have a hard time 2.   well, hrm...   'cept 4 the fact that, yesterday ("yesterday," meaning "2day."), i flat out sed that it's "easier" 4 woman than 4 guys...   hrm... so what's going on here?

so last week, in cafe chulho chals sed, "i just noticed this...on this computer (at work) there's this lil cartoon character...a chunky dog, with a wand hitting his head, saying, out out! you demons of stupidity.'"   then later, jerome responds, "oh yeah, charles, the lil dog is dogbert.   read dilbert and you'll find out about him.   he's funny."   funny.   funny to me that chals 1st talks 'bout some "chunky dog," so i'm trying to picture some sort of chunky dog cartoon character...   but then jerome mentions dogbert's name...   then it's like this iconic thingy...   the right image instantly pops into my mind.   psychology stuff.   don't u 4get 4 a single second that kaela is also a psych major, not just an mcb major.

if i were to resort to talkin' 'bout the weather, i'd tell u that it's such a beautiful day 2day.   i spent almost all of it indoors, inside my office.   oh well.   i went out to buy noah's bagels @ lunch.   i wonder if kaela's ever cn these mouse cursors.   i know she'd like them, but eh!   she can c them if she ever comes to my office 'gain.   when u got something busy in the background, the mouse wags its tail.   when u got something busy in the 4ground, the mouse eats its way out of a block of cheese.   kaela sez mice don't eat cheese.   yah, i believe that.   rodents eat harder things.   just think 'bout that storybook i had when i was a kid, the 1 'bout the mouse who escaped n' went looking 4 fud, drink, n' housing.   it didn't have illustrations but fotographs.   real life mice r often cuter than drawn 1s.

this morn, richmond bridge traffic resembled bay bridge traffic.   why do i always gotta talk 'bout my morn commute here?   hrm...   but let's just think a sec 'bout something.   when u'r in traffic, everything that's on ur car is whatchu represent.   uh, huh?   'member when my pastor sed he didn't like li'l christian fish sticker thingies?   he sed it's cos if he ever cuts some1 off in traffic, then the victim's gonna hate christians.   that's true.   all those bumperstickers? that's whatchu'r representing!   so a car cuts me off, then what?   now, just to spitechu: "no, i won't free tibet!"   "no, i won't hang up n' drive!"   "no, i won't support the nra!"   "no, i'm not glad ur kid was student of the week @ uc santa barbara!"   "no, i hate csu fresno alumni!"   "no, i hate li'l calvins pissing on raiders logos!"   "no, i won't get that in n' out urge!"   "no, i want the whole u.s. in ur uterus!"   "no, i won't believe in darwin!"   "grumble, grumble"   all this cos u cut me off!   uhm, did some1 cut me off in traffic 2day?   mmm, i don't think so...   'least i don't remember.   i didn't write this journal entry w/ personal interests!   this was a public service announcement.   'course i wanna think 'bout 1 thing tho'.   right as i was gonna get on the bridge, i was gonna get into the left lane.   i signaled my lane change, n' looked back, looked in my mirrors.   i was 'bout to go, then a blue honda civic pulls up next to me n' honks.   well, no i didn't almost crash into or sideswipe that lady!   i saw her cos she eventually got out of my blindspot, but geez... u know, there is such a thing as hanging out in 1's blindspot.   man! i undercooked my poptarts 2day...   i'm no ironchef!

on a diff note: so i was in the bathroom @ my work, the men's bathroom... phew, men's not women's!   neway, they have this sign in the toilet stall, now posted: "please do not flush tampons, sanitary napkins, or other items.   this toilet is constantly getting clogged due to these items and others being flushed into it.   thank you, the management."   uh, okay...   that amuses me that men r flushing tampons n' sanitary napkins down the toilet n' clogging them.   maybe their gfs n' wives give them their used tampons n' pads, n' they bring them to work, n' flush them down these toilets.   ah, i c.   butchu know?   i think what's really clogging the toilets is the overconsumption of red meat!

k, along the same lines: in mechanical engineering... if u'r dealing w/ some mechanical engineering stuff, n' u don't know the name of a part, just call it a "bracket."   doesn't it cm like 7.421 times out of 11.230, u'll be right?   or maybe that's the electrical engineer's secret method of trying to converse w/ the mechanical engineer.   i dunno.   but i do know that this damir sudar guy @ my work is really a nice guy.   u know?   like some ppl in this world just make life cm a li'l more pleasant cos, well, just their manners, their manner of speech, et cetera.   smiling is good.   souris.   "it doesn't make u ne smarter, but makes everything more pleasant 4 every1."   "un souri" is a mouse, non?   or is it really "une souris," as babelfish sez?   that whole quote thingy was from la femme nikita, the same source as "il y a deux choses sans limite: la feminité et les moyens de l'abusée."   same source.   u know my whole belief in that, right?   "there are two things w/o limit: femininity n' the means to exploit/abuse/use it."   u know?   u dig?   it's all 'bout women being able to charm a man into doing nething.   it's all 'bout using finesse conditioning shampoo to get ur man, not only to buy ur tampons, but also to take the used 1s n' flush them down the toilet @ his work.

mrx, mister x

last nite i saw the 2nd part of mystery men on ken's carded dss.   i liked that movie a lot; that's 4 sure.   watching it again, i realised i really liked that movie.   not that ne1 really sed it sucked or nething, but i feel it was 1 of the most underrated movies of last yr...   yah.   neway, some1 1nce e.mailed me 'bout some jerry springeresque love polyogon of some sort going on amongst her circle of friends.   she asked 4 advice, so i tried to follow 'long.   she didn't want to use names; she sed "mr. x" or actually just plain "x," "y," n' "z," i think.   neway, i wanna do that now.   please allow me.

back a long time ago, this happened.   mr. x was gonna throw a b.day party 4 miss y.   mr. x used to really like miss y.   butchu know what?   mr x. wanted to throw the b.day party to impress miss z.   some new chick.   hrm...   ok.   so mr. x wanted to throw a really kewl b.day party supposedly.   so u know what?   hrm... ok.   mr. b made the mistake of, while @ a volleyball game in the park, announcing to every1 present that there'd be a b.day party 4 miss y, so come.   then mr. x heard that mr. b had invited every1, including mr. a n' mr. c.   so mr. m, mr. n, n' mr. x gang up n' call mr. b up 1 nite n' tell mr. b that he has to "uninvite" mr. a n' mr. c cos only kewl ppl could come to this party.   uh... ok.   well...   well, u know?   this really sickened mr. b.   instead he just flat out told mr. c what was going on.   mr. c was pretty upset...   but neway...   mr. b didn't really uninvite mr. a or mr. c.   mr. a, on his own, decided not to go to the party, n' told mr. x.   tss... mr. x wasn't even discrete 'bout saying "phew," when mr. a sed he wouldn't go to the party.   *sigh*   neway, this whole situation sickened mr. b, n' mr. b figured he was really pissed off @ this circle of friends n' he wouldn't really care 2 much 'bout this party, altho' he thought that miss y was a very nice gurl.   so...   he noticed ppl snuck off to this secret b.day party thingy 4 the elite few...   eventually, mr. b showed up...   actually, mr. c, who was supposed to be uninvited went neway n' got there really early.   neway, mr. b pretty much stopped hanging w/ that group after that...   no, not totally, but a lot less.   he ended up well, i dunno, spending time w/ his gf alone n' stuff like that.   (there's this pic from that event.   mr. b is so happy that he's not in that pic...   like, even mr. c is in that pic, but somehow, mr. b isn't.)

neway, that's an old story... passed down my family thru generations.   ha!   so....   i dunno.   dontchu think it's nice to have friends?   dontchu think it's nice to think that someday, u can find urself in a strange land, n' be surprised to find a familiar, welcoming face?   n' it's not just that!   that almost sounds like i expect favours from my friends... no...   isn't it just nice to feel u can take care of others, n' they can provide support in return???   *sigh*   me?   honestly, i've always believed in friendship!   really!   that's how i view friendship.   ppl who support each other, n' just plain have fun w/ each other.   it's a really simple concept!

k, so shall i spill out what i did this weekend?   eh, i guess so.   4 my own sake, so when i'm 25, old, n' 4getful i'll remember what i did.   fri, i worked in the city.   yah.   i did stuff.   i had a smoked whitefish salad sandwich on poppyseed bagel @ noah's.   also had an onion bialy.   uhm,   yah.   n' i bought a lizard fuel sobe from walgreens on my way back from noah's.   k, what else?   i went home.   looked @ my nasty@$$ apt, pondered cleaning it up b4 grace n' steve saw it, n' just sat 'round watching simpsons     i think it was the musical montage episode.   then grace n' steve showed up.   we picked up kaela n' ate @ juan's, the mexican restaurant down by the bay in berkeley.   lotsa fud.

sat: woke up late, slept in, that is.   uhm, no not 2 late.   i didn't wake up 2 late cos i had a demo to do; that's right!   well, i had to get all the boards ready n' stuff.   then the cal taekwondo demo team did a demo 4 "cubs 4 a day," an americorps event on lower sproul on the berkeley campus.   they fed us.   how nice!   burritos n' stuff.   then...   then i went home, showered...   hung out w/ jerome n' josh, fell asleep.   then jerome n' i went to pick up kaela, n' we went down to ken's cos we thought we'd go to a bbq @ his place.   eh!   instead we went to point, the korean hof that i keep talkin' 'bout.   actually, i guess i used to keep calling it "the point" cos that's what ken calls it, but i've always known that the sign actually just sez "point," so why do they call it "the point"?   hrm...   n' i disapprove of ppl calling "koko house" "koko's" cos then ppl think we're going to "coco's," the denny's-ish place!   makes no sense!   please stop this crazy thing b4 somebody gets hurt!   k, well, we hung out.   hung out, yes.   that was sat.

sun: slept in.   i took kaela to ucsf to do research 4 her papers.   we ate lunch @ noah's bagels on irving st.   i was so impressed that kaela ordered lite lox shmear on a blueberry bagel!   now that's what i call a woman who's got something i want!   that's the right way to eat!   really!   not only is she patronising noah's bagels, who's stock ought to be doing much better, but she's doing the right thing n' combining sweet n' savoury!   that's the way to live life!   me, on the otherhand, i only had lox trim n' lite shmear on an asiago bagel.   what a numbnut!   that is why i bow to kaela.   well, i dropped her off @ ucsf n' hung out @ the haight 4 a few hours.   it took a while to find parking.   i walked 'round, looked @ stores.   eh!   clothes?   they were either 2 expensive or just the typical alternacrap.   u know, the usual "i'm so phucing alternative!" stuff.   (it's so "alternative," yet not...   u know wot ahm shayin'?)   like, uh... i dunno... why would i go all the way to the haight to buy that stuff?   berkeley's got a lot more, 4 cheaper!   well, i also looked @ the typical mix of pseudo asian, south asian, n' middle eastern stuff...   those stores r just "cost plus on weed," u know?   didn't i c that foto album @ pier 1, a few months ago?   but this is "pier 1 xtreme!!!!!!"   housewives shop @ pier 1!   alternapunk, hip cats shop on the haight...   uhm, i shouldn't be so sarcastic.   that is bad.   k... well, i got bored of the haight n' just drove around a li'l.   not 2 much, that's bad.   it's bad 4 the environment, n' gas is 2 expensive these days.   yes.   k, so that was sun.

so yesterday after work i called koko house to ask them if they had my pager.   i talked to kay, derrick lee's gf.   she works as a waitress there.   she asked 'round if ne1 had found a pager, but no.   she sed she'd leave a note to call me 4 ne1 who might find it.   *sigh*   oh well...   i went home n' went to sleep after watching the simpsons.   i woke up when jerome called me to ask if i wanted to meet him, kaela, n' brandie 4 dinner.   eh, no, i was 2 asleep.   i went back to sleep.   i woke up to another call.   this person talked in korean n' asked 4 my mom.   i wasn't sure why but hoped she had my pager.   "nan hanguk mal jal mot-haeyo," i sed.   argh, it was just a person telemarketing 4 a long distance company!   i should'a remember that i gave kay my cell number, not my home fon.   i don't like answering my home fon.   i think my home fon rang 1 more time that evening during my nap, n' i just didn't bother to answer it.   then i woke up later 4 demo practice, stumbled in, was 2 tired/lazy to really practice, so i just watched jerome, brandie, efren, n' deanna work on the self-defense skit.   after practice, i went to daruma w/ kaela n' had chicken katsu n' cali rolls; oh, kaela's treat.   i saw lisa there n' blammo 2, but blammo didn't say hi.   hrm... chicken katsu really tasted good cos i guess i had a craving 4 something greasy like that.   ji pai fan from 168 would'a sufficed 2.   fud, fud, fud.

well, it turned out to be a sunnier day 2day.   it started out rainy but cleared up.   i didn't even go outside 4 lunch tho'.   oh well.   2nite, we'll 168 w/ dave, jefflyn, andy, et al.   we also have a uc open mtg tho'.   ugh.   hrm...   so what's up?   i'm gonna go to ken's bbq on sat @ 500p @ his san jo store, on redmond ave.   what else?   oh, we have a demo on lower sproul 4 the "cubs 4 a day" program, some americorps thing... u know, 4 kids.   hrm...   what else?   my sister n' steve'll meet kaela n' me 4 dinner on fri nite.   that's 2morrow already.   wow.   i need a haircut; i'm so shaggy.   i gotta say, that soy cheese i bought from party safeway sure is good.   soy cheese!   mmm...   wouldn't it be so contradictary to put soy cheese in a big-@$$ cheeseburger?   something resembling the bacon ultimate cheeseburger.   but 1 could use soy cheese in a bocaburger.   so what's up?   ppl r studying hard, working hard... stuff.   that's good.   weekend.   it's almost weekend.   *sigh*   jerome has funny pics on his website.   that's kewl.   if we all ate a more vegetarian diet, bathrooms would smell better, wouldn't they?   i'm reminded of last week, at practice, when some1 in our paddle-kicking line let out a really big stinky, obvious fart.   ugh, it reeked!   @ 1st, i didn't want to say nething...   but it was soobvious!   darlene n' deanna spoke out 1st.   then christina went ahead n' interrogated the most suspicious culprit.   i didn't want to ask the guy cos he's new to the class, n' well... that's no welcome, i figured.   oh well.

they call it "supertuesday," huh?   i voted yesterday.   i guess lots of my friends can't vote cos they're not us citizens, huh?   but i voted.   it felt good to fulfil my responsibility, right?   right.   so i voted n' went home to take a nap b4 practice.   i went to practice.   then we took master lim out to koko house 4 his b.day.   dang, i think i lost my pager there!   i'll have to call them to ask if they have it, i guess.   2day, i had 'nother roadrunner burrito.   ha ha.   yesterday, i ate lunch w/ dave, had 0.5 roasted chicken n' mashed potatoes.   oh, i already sed that.   do u care what i eat?   i care what i eat.   the rain's been falling.   i'm glad ppl have been signing my g.book/g.spot.   much appreciated.   man, i remember eating orange slices n' drinking bottled water @ halftime @ youth soccer games.   why did we eat oranges in the middle of the game?!   think 'bout cricket tea.   how do ppl eat a meal in the middle of a sports game?

yesterday, i had a guadalupe chicken burrito.   have i already discussed this beautiful creation?   k, a chicken burrito w/ spinach, mushrooms, n' asparagus!   yah, it's got rice n' salsa 2 n' is wrapped up in ur choice of tortilla.   i choose spinach.   i prefer black beans.   the burrito also has cheese.   oh, so i did talk 'bout this marvelous, edible manifestation of happiness in "armadillo armageddon" on 10 feb, 2000.   u know, i just remembered: on sat, @ that lunch @ taxi's in oakridge mall, shinwha sed that she mentioned me to her mom that morn.   i asked, why'd u mention me to ur mom?   n' she sed cos her mom knew that grace'd called n' wanted to know why, n' shinwha sed that she'd have lunch w/ grace, ken, n' me.   so i guess shinwha asked her mom if she remembered me, n' her mom sez something like "oh yah, beno! he's the boy w/ the cabbage hair."   huh?!   did i ever have cabbage hair?!   i was thinking she had me mixed up w/ jack, but shinwha sed her mom doesn't know jack...   (hey, 'member that berkeley systems game? "you don't know jack.")   so hrm... i guess i'm the 1.   really?!   cabbage hair?   neway, back to what's important in life: the guadalupe chicken burrito from roadrunner burrito, aka the chicken guadalupe burrito.   this time i went to the roadrunner burrito @ larkspur landing instead of greenbrae.   now, why didn't i try a diff burrito?!   i was sorta rushed in line cos the customer behind me was impatient, but i also wanted something w/ veggies.   i pondered the curry wrap n' some other burritos.   the guadalupe chicken burrito is on the more expensive side of the menu cos it's 1 of their fancier burritos, i guess.   can i really call this burrito the manifestation of happiness?   well, it was pretty good, yes.   1 prob is that it was a li'l 2 soggy in some parts cos the water from the veggies.   n' i asked 4 hot salsa, but i didn't taste ne.   i'm sure it was in there somewhere tho'.

so on my way home, i was supposed to stop by the berkeley post office to pick up a package but 4got the slip.   i went home.   @ this traffic light on shattuck, i was sorta slow to go on the green cos i put my car in park on the red to rest 4 a sec.   this car coming the other way tried to bust a left b4 i started, but it didn't make it.   i was pretty worn out from the day, n' i went ahead n' honked @ that car.   it was in my lane.   then i slowly drive by it, n' the driver's all pissy n' yelling.   so i actually lose my temper n' cuss the loser out.   then the guy actually looked all shocked or scared or something.   hrm...   okay.   well, it was my light.   i mean, it's just funny cos i know this guy thinks he's all tuff n' stuff.   maybe he didn't expect me to yell back @ him...   i dunno...   well, i don't wanna make a habit of this...   don't need to be throwing coffee @ yuppies in beemers on the entrance to the bay bridge...   oh, i never discussed this incident in the beno journal   r u sure?   i guess not; i guess i just wrote 'bout it in some personal e.mail(s).   i 1nce saw this argument @ the entrance to the bay bridge, where the emeryville shortcut onramp merges w/ the 80.   ("the 80"?!   what? am i from socal now?!)   neway, there was this really pissy guy in a big pick-up truck.   he was trying not to let me in, altho' it was my turn.   i managed to get in, but the beemer behind me also tried.   he wasn't supposed to.   then the truck wouldn't let him in.   then they rolled down windows n' argued.   then the guy in the pickup threw his coffee out the window onto the guy in the beemer.   whoa, huh?   then they had this low-speed chase thru the bay bridge entrance traffic...   like the truck tried to get away, weaving in n' out of traffic, then the beemer tried to follow it.   hrm...   they got to cut to the front of the line!   maybe it was a staged drama, n' they just wanted to cut to the front of the line...   nah, just kidding.   neway...   violence doesn't solve nething.   why fight over stoopid traffic stuff?   geez...

mmm...   i just ate a piece of soy cheese.   it tasted like real cheese!   i bought a pack of soy cheese slices from party safeway last nite.   let's talk 'bout what i did yesterday.   so i came home after cussing out that loser trying to make that left turn, n' i took a long nap.   i meant to wake up in tym to go to competition (taekwondo) practice, but i woke up 'round 900p.   kaela had given me a wake up call earlier, but i fell back asleep.   i've been sleeping a lot lately, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.   so i wanted to exercise, but i was 2 late 4 practice, which started @ 830p.   i went to the rsf to put my @$$ on the butt gallery 4 35 mins.   i just did stairmaster stuff.   then i stretched 4 a long tym n' went to do a li'l bit of lifting, just back, ab, n' biceps.   it's good 4 me to exploit the rsf cos i gotta pay monthly dues as a cal alumni.   it's expensive.   why's it expensive?   s.mike n' i realised this, n' i told kaela last nite.   why's it so expensive?   cos membership in the cal rec club also includes free viewing of all the young college gurls u want.   right?   so all the ol' durty men r getting a bargain!   ha ha.   neway...   after doing the rsf thing n' chatting shortly w/ various taekwondo ppl in the martial arts room n' office, n' locking up the office, i went to get gas @ touchless ($1.549/gal) n' proceeded to meet kaela @ sufficient grounds.   'member my "cafés of berkeley" entry of 04 april, 1998?   i bought a choco/vanilla w/ almond topping froyo from yogurt park.   froyo, frogurt, frozen yogurt.   it was scrumpdillyumptious!   it was kinda 2 sweet tho', as usual.   i had to pour myself some water @ sufficient.   right 'bout when sufficient was closing up, we left n' went to party safeway, where i bought that soy cheese!   ah... so this paragraph has no come full circle; the loop is closed.   imagine a tarantino movie.   ah, remember the 90s?!   so i bought stuff.   i bought jif sensations choco silk spread.   can u believe that?   man...   didja ever c that milky way spread?   from the packaging, u can just tell it ain't american.   i rotated the jar; "product of poland," just as i thought.   it's a kewl label tho'.   i wish i could peel off the label of that overpriced, important food product n' scan it n' send that image over to iprint.com n' make a t.shirt or something.   wouldn't that be kewl?   well... lessee did i buy nething interesting?   uhm... bread, yogurt, reduced fat wheat thins, tangerines, fuji apples...   the usual.   kaela bought babyfud cos she wants to try it.   that's not usual, is it?   u might even say it's "un-usual," eh?   so i dropped her off n' 1nce 'gain 4got to give her her computer parts.   upes.   well, she had to take a midterm 2day in her japanese pornography class.   i hope she did okay.   she gave me a wake up call this morning.   what a sweet gurl.   but then i fell back asleep.   don't 4get that the new ikea is opening in emeryville soon.   ikea, nokia, n' kia.   well, i shall luncheon w/ david yee 2day.   it's cloudy 1nce again.   i ought to rain-x my windshield 'gain soon.   *sigh* it's election day.   a'ight, i'm out.   laterz.

p.s. now u can access my page via http://connect.to/beno.

p^1.5.s. [i'm writing this on 09 feb, 2000.] oh, u can also use http://beno.connect.to.

p.p.s. now u can also access my page via http://www.fortunecity.com/campus/dropout/792/ n' http://www.nav.to/benoburdy as well as http://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~beno, http://www.geocities.com/benoburdy, n' http://www.geocities.com/tokyo/club/3977/.   u can e.mail my ocf acct @ beno@ocf.berkeley.edu , bhwang@ucmap.org ... hrm...   where else?   actually, i'm not sure.   neway, so i luncheoned w/ dave 2day @ that dave's market place.   i had 0.5 roasted chicken w/ mashed potatoes n' gravy.   it was a heavier lunch than what i originally wanted, but i ran into my coworkers benn, morg, n' helen there, n' benn sed it was a really good deal, so i tried it.   dave told me 'bout how shopping 4 new bedding 4 his new condo's been going.   man, i wanna go snowboarding.   we walked 'round the li'l shopping center.   then i went back to work.   dave's kewl.   wish he could hang w/ us more.   he hurt his arm snowboarding last, last weekend.

(p.s.)² please sign my g.book.

this weekend: hrm...   i guess i haven't written since thurs, huh?   well, fri, i worked in sf again.   'twas a busy day, running tests on the microscope machines n' sorting out data into a useful n' presentable format.   ah, yah!   it feels just like engineering skool...   hrm... does that souond like i want to go back to engineering skool?   i dunno...   i really don't know.   the worklife provides so much more variety, it cms...   like, i do like that lab setting 1nce in a while...   maybe i even miss that problem set setting 1nce in a while; i dunno.   but i don't mind dealing w/ the, like, business n' day-to-day junk involved in the real work world...   neway!   i usually don't talk much 'bout my work in my journal.   so... fri!   i went to work.   after work, i went shopping in the union square / sf shopping centre area.   i was to meet kaela there, so she could go to nordstrom's to get her watch adjusted n' somewhere such as claire's to get her 2nd hole on her left ear repierced.   kaela got really delayed, so i shopped 'round but didn't find nething.   why would i buy spring clothes in such dreary weather?   look 'round! rain, rain, rain... 1 day of sun... rain, rain, rain.   it's worth it 4 me to rain-x my windshield...   *sigh*   i saw some intersting stuff @ rolo, but u know rolo...   lots of the stuff is really overpriced.   like i saw the exact same sweater @ urban (outfitters) 4 $20 less.   uhm....   am i talkin' 'bout fashion again?   nuts...   sorry.   well, no, i'm not sorry.   u think it's 2 froofy 4 me to talk 'bout shopping n' fashion?   whatever...   2 bad.   uhm...   but lessee...   i'll just keep talking.   so i waited 4 kaela, but i got hungry so i went to that li'l salad/sandwich/soup place @ the bottom floor to get a large cup of chicken noodle soup.   man... didn't we eat all those sausages @ chals n' sandy's place just this past thurs nite?!   neway...   that's besides the pt.   soon after i ate that chicken noodle soup, while i was lookin' 'round nordstrom's, kaela arrived in sf.   so i met her @ abercrombie & bi... i mean fitch.   i've never bought nething from that store.   it's not that i don't like nething there @ all... i dunno... lots of it cms expensive...   i guess, also, u know that my favourite kind of shopping is "going out" clothes...   casual clothes? work clothes? yah, those 2, but "goint out" n' clubbing clothes mostly.   ahem!   i gotta admit: it does feel weird to talk like that aloud... er, or type those kinds of wurds out, but *sigh* i'm just typing what i'm thinking.   so kaela bought a kewl vintage-looking t=shirt @ abercrombie, n' we went upstairs to look 4 clubbing clothes cos we thought we'd go to avaron on sat 4 master lim's b.day.   well...   hrm...   all we found was spring stuff n' lots of pink crap...   wow, it's fun to shop 4 women's clothes!   'specially women's "going out" clothes!   yah, i like!   but uh... all this pink! geez...   neway... yah, we went to benetton...   yah, benetton there, (or maybe all benttons do now), has men's clothes... not much but some.   benetton: stuff there can be overpriced sorta, but when it's on sale, it's really on sale.   so yah, i bought a shiny polo-type shirt 4 clubbing, n' then i bought a blazer that was on sale cos i figure it's 'bout time i join the ranks of dashing guys like supermike n' master lim, who wear blazers/sportcoats/whatever.   actually, what is it i bought?   is it a blazer or a sportcoat or what?!   the sales associate!   k, she was really interesting... this hk (hong kong) gurl who really acted like a sales associate in an asian store... like in hk, tw, n' kr, the sales associates were so much more attentive n' polite than most american sales associates...   'course she was obvsiously working on commision, but still...   she was really hrm... nice, helpful, uhm... energetic, this n' that...   don't worry, not like she was flirting w/ me or nething!   kaela was right there...   i heard a story 'bout 1 anonymous benofriend who was @ structure, n' the sales associate (female) was heavily flirting w/ him in front of his gf.   neway...   so man... i felt so stoopid... i used up all our time...   kaela was supposed to get her ear repierced but claire's closed up.   'least we still got her watch adjusted @ nordstrom's, n' she could look 4 clothes there, but she didn't find nething...   so! so we left sf...   we were gonna meet jerome @ koko house, but things didn't work out right...   kaela got a really bad headache.   i took her home where she fell right asleep.   i hung out w/ her sister n' helped her make chicken curry.   jeanna's her sister.   then i had to run home to give jimmy wang his taekwondo equipment, n' went back to have a li'l curryrice.

sat...   ah.. ref seminar!   we went to the ref seminar...   then the demo team had to get ready 4 our demo @ carlos bee hall in hayward.   jerome brought me a poptart n' gave me a hawaiian punch cos he knew i was really stressed out w/ the demo preparation.   jerome's a nice guy.   so... so we went off to hayward in the pouring rain.   master lim met us there.   i wore my kyunghee dae dobok, n' some korean students thought i was from kyunghee, but no... i told them it was my friend's, "andae...   na uy chingoo uy..."   well, that's not really true, i guess... like, master jang gave it to me 4 my b.day, but hrm... like, i guess i know how to say stuff like that in korean, but i'm really shy 'bout speaking in korean a lot of times...   c, i was sorta explaining that to deanna on the ride back... like actually, from my li'l habit of listening to korean musik n' looking up wurds i don't know, i guess i have an okay vocabulary...   but like, i don't really feel com4table like getting whole sentences out of my mouth...   like, if i were speaking either taiwanese or mandarin...   i have much less vocabulary, but i'd be able to get a real sentence started easier.   but neway, i don't mind practicing korean, taiwanese, or chinese...   ne of them.   so!   we did our demo.   i was pretty happy w/ how it turned out.   it was fun.   then we went home to get ready.   we were going out to skate's to celebrate master taehee lim's 26th b.day!   well, happy b.day master lim!   ha ha... u know what?!   i think i ordered the exact same dish @ skate's that i ordered the time that i was there w/ toby n' phil!   tss...   stoopid me!   well... no, i think it was slightly diff...   *sigh* mahi w/ ginger cream... it was more of a miso sauce.   it sed it had vermouth.   i'm pretty sure the fish i had the other time wasn't mahi, but hrm... something else...   but it had that same miso sauce.   afterwards, the crew went to go party n' drink @ bernard's (blammo's), but me n' kaela didn't go.   we didn't feel like drinking.   i heard they had fun tho'.   kaela was gonna go study, but well....   we went to au coquelet n' just hrm...   chatted 4 a while.   ah...   i remember how the last time i was @ au coquelet was prob'ly the mon after last spring's ucmap banquet, the day after supermike's ex-gf dumped him, so we went n' talked 'bout like relationship stuff n' s.mike's "personal renaissance" term was 1st used by himself...   uhm... i'm not sure if the term was "coined" there or whether it was actually him or me who 1st sed it...   but yah, it was a memorable moment 4 that term.   *sigh*   yah... that really set the mood 4 the 1999 summer.   k, neway, kaela n' i hung out there till they kicked us out.

k, sun: 2day is sunday in my opinion.   uhm... altho it's 100a mon morning, i call it sun nite.   dang, i missed simpsons 2nite.   shoot.   neway...   i went down to san jo to pick up the rest of kaela's computer parts.   oh!   1st i shopped 'round valley fair...   didn't buy nething, but tried on a pair of weird ck warm up pants-ish pants @ macy's.   eh, didn't like them...   the legs looked kinda tapered...   neway, i met ken @ oakridge mall, n' grace choi (his gf) n' shinwha met us there.   shinwha...   she was in band w/ me back in hs.   chals has met shinwha cos we went to the point that nite 2gether...   jerome's fascinated w/ her name cos shinhwa, the korean gayo group.   she's also rosa's friend.   she sounded really lost 'bout life...   she's finishing her last semester @ cal, commuting up 4 just 1 class.   she also is looking 4 temp work.   she's gonna go to korea 4 a yr n' hopes to work as a document translator maybe.   well, the 4 of us ate @ taxi's, some johnny rockets-esque diner-ish place, where i had a grilled fish burger n' fries w/ lots of tabasco sauce ketchup mix.   u do know that they sell heinz tabasco ketchup, right?   but most restaurants don't have that premade mixture.   nuts.   well...   ken n' i picked up gordon, n' we went off to meet ken's pc parts supplier, ted chen of bay area micro.   we went to ted's house where his wife phina greeted us w/ their li'l baby.   cute baby.   i also briefly saw steven wey who prob'ly didn't recognise me cos he didn't say hi.   weird to think, he started taekwondo w/ me but dropped out after the 1st semester, i think.   neway...   hrm...   i got kaela's parts, n' ken, gordo, n' i went off to the brokaw rd. san jo fry's to get stuff...   like, i wanted a scsi terminator 4 my superkewl scanner!   just kidding... kaela's scanner, which she lets me borrow since only i have a scsi system 'round here...   n' a cable 4 my cdrom to connect to my soundcard...   haven't had 1 of those.   so i didn't find the scsi terminator, but i did buy ken a king size reese's peanut butter cups.   eh! 'bout the same.   so well, i drove back to berkeley in the pouring rain.   i accidentally went the wrong way well... 2ice, i got onto 880s right away... then fixed that prob, but went the wrong way @ the 980/24 split.   upes.   neway, got back to berkeley in 1 piece, n' that's what counts.   i took a nap b4 going to the rsf to practice, but i overslept.   i practiced stuff.   i dunno.   i intended to do lots of stretching cos we never stretch in class nemore.   so i did lots of stretching, basics, even did keumgang a coupl'a times, practiced li'l of everything... demo, sparring stuff...   well, a li'l of everything...   kaela n' i went to daruma to get pearl drinks: she had mango; i had strawberry.   i came home, took a shower, n' that brings us to here!   watching the "jajonshim" video.   kaela saw the tabasco sauce scene this morning.   goodnite.

[next day, "real monday.]   so, u know?   dave's buying a condo, n' emily's gonna move in as his tenant.   that's gonna all happen in castro valley.   i mentioned this b4, right?   u know?   back in the olden days, couples would, well, get 2gether, get their careers established, get married, then move in 2gether to some rented place, then have kids, then buy a house, right?   i dunno these days.   what do ppl do?   so many of my friends have lived w/ their gfs/bfs.   a lot of them think it's essential to figuring out / knowing u want to marry this person.   hrm... what do i think?   i dunno.   who recently asked me where do i c myself in yrs?   oh yah, jeanna did.

so the election's 2morrow?!   i was just reading carol's journal, n' read her n' darren's anti prop 22 entry.   yah, that's good.   the knight initiative is stoopid, lame-@$$ hate-filled $#!+.   it's so obvious.   so what else is on the ballot? 31 n' 32, those car insurance propositions...   c, i pay a lot 4 state farm insurance, so i'd rather let the insurance companies do their thing instead of letting ppl skrew w/ them.   what else is on the ballot???   primaries?   i honestly don't know much 'bout the primaries.   u know, i'm a registered democrat.   uhm...   i guess al gore'd be my vote 4 the next pres, even tho' i worry that most of america'll prob'ly go republican this time 'round.   i dunno.   k, what else is on the ballot?   water propositions...   i guess whatever makes more bizness 4 my ol' buddies @ ebmud, right?   so i guess i'll vote yes 4 those.   what else?   transit authority board members?   water board members?   skool district board members?   local stuff?   well, i'll just write in my friends' names 4 those.   sounds 'bout right, right?   right.

"lucky ducky" was almost the name of 2day's entry cos i feel lucky, 4tunate.   i have a wonderful, beautiful gf; n' some kewl stuff happened @ work 2day.   uhm...   can i talk 'bout it?   per4mance review n' what usual accompanies a per4mance review...   'least a favourable 1.   phew!   n' we had a big party to celebrate our last round of private investor funding.   unh! ate 2 much!   yuck, i feel so stuffed!   but 'twas good fud from a.g. ferrar.   i always c that store but have never patronised it.   they had some expensive, imported, italian spring water that i didn't drink.

last nite, kaela n' i hung out @ sandy n' chals's.   i cooked (sweet italian, turkey store brand) turkey sausages w/ sautéed mushrooms.   we ate them on sesame seed buns.   mmmm.   n' we had some ore-ida seasoned steak fries, which weren't so seasoned.   hrm...   not good to eat so much of that kind of fud late @ nite!!!!   n' maek-ju n' tequiza...   i had a ft-long turkey sub on wheat from subway 4 lunch yesterday.   used a coupon from the back of a fundraising kit-kat wrapper.   bought that kit-kat @ the tournament on sun from some li'l kid n' his hi-pressure salesperson mom.   eh!   it's not like it's not 4 a good cause, the kid's li'l league team.   i bought stamps from the post office yesterday, some $10 ($9.90) worth.   some pink flowers n' x-treme sports.   had demo practice last nite.

pair o' ducks!!!!   cute-zone warning!!!   this pair of mallard ducks hung out in front of our office 2day!!   a couple, a male n' a female!   they just flew in n' hung out, chilled.   we fed them bread from our office party.   urgh, i ate lots'a cheese 2day.   i don't often eat cheese, eh?   parrot-ox...   there's some kid's book 'bout etymology, a quasi-folklore book.   quasi-myths.   a myth is a sacred narrative set in precreation time 'bout how the world came to be as it is now.   1 story sed that the wurd "paradox" comes from some animal that's a combination of a parrot n' ox, a "parrot-ox."   hrm... luvburds, i used to have luvburds.

hey, i chatted w/ dave's emily online this morn... 4 a brief sec.   obviously, i wouldn't chat 4 a long time while @ work...   she wants dave to get her a doggy.   dave should get every1 doggies!

the uc theatre on university always has this quote of the day/week/whatever posted on their marquee.   1tym, 'twas "big daddy, meet little daddy."   i thought that was kewl.   last week, it sed, "mommy, make it stop!"   this morning, i drove by cos that's how i get to 580 to get to work.   (notice i didn't say "the 580" cos i'm not from socal.)   the marquee read, "you have selected regicide."   kewl!   u know where that's from, right?   tick, tick, tick, tick.   u do, don'tchu?   i hope so.   episode 1f22, "bart of darkness."   i like.

yah, i saw the cure on conan last nite.   thanks to jerome 4 calling me up to tell me that they'd be on.   kellogg's nutri-grain bars.   back freshman yr, when i was living in foothill, i knew this healthworker.   she was putting on some program on eating disorders so she rounded up ppl from the dc that she knew n' made them go to it.   @ the end they handed out lots of nutri-grain bars n' trail mix packets.   ah, student life n' getting free things...   isn't that just how it goes?   free stuff really amuses students.   good stuff boxes.   free cappio drinks.   i don't think they make cappio nemore.   that was b4 those bottled frappucinos.   yah, they were tasty.   free t.shirts everywhere.   free waterbottles.   free candybars, free red bull, free 7-up, free sunny-d, free necafé... oh, 'nother coffee drink that i'm not sure exists nemore...   free stuff.

think 'bout life b4 the internet.   when ken, gordo, n' i were looking @ the web browsing star-tac, we were reminded of the early days... of gopher.   that was text-based web browsing...   *sigh*   wow.   but life b4 the internet...   think 'bout it.   u think 'bout it; i don't feel like discussing it.   just think 'bout it.   reminisce.   reminiscing is something beno does, isn't it?   remember when i used to reminisce???   ah, those were the days...

the next 5 yrs...   kaela kept saying that i sed something in my journal that i'd do something in the next 5 yrs...   i wasn't sure what: get married? have kids? ride a motorcycle?   i guess, she's talking 'bout liane's prediction that i'll find my soulmate in the next 4 yrs.   this i discussed way back on 01 nov, 1999 in "antihalloween."   soulmates...   do u know how 1 finds a soulmate?   1 must follow the talking coyote!   please refer to 13 april, 1998, "less artsy, more fartsy."   yes, 'tis a nice, blue-skied day 2day in corte madera.   c? reminiscing...   i'm going thru old journal entries now cos i wanted to figure out the "next 5 yrs" thing.   'member when i saw green day play on lower sproul b4 they were famous?   i was standing right in front of billy joe w/ 1 foot on the stage.   man... where's supermike these days?!?!?!?!   yah, after practice, last nite, some of us 168ed: jefflyn1&2, dave, andy, erin.. they sat @ 1 table.   kaela, phil, jerome, n' me @ 'nother.   i 'specially ordered lychee milk drink; i asked angela if they could make it.   it was good.   where did i have it b4?   oh, prob'ly in la w/ supermike over new yrs.   i c.   ah, shao mei, that's what the place is called... (doesn't that mean "li'l pretty"?   maybe, but maybe i have the wrong characters.)   k, think 4 a sec 'bout this...   on 24 aug, 1998, i sed in "when two worlds collide," "i realised that that's why i've avoided san josé at times.   i don't like remembering precollege life.   i feel i've made so much progress since then, and i feared losing it all.   but i'm overcoming that mode of thinking.   i need to find a steady state of some sort.   i shouldn't think that my life has no inertia, that it's path can be diverted so easily....   that's something...   inertia."   can u believe i sed that?   hrm...   steady state, good?   not sure.   isn't that simliar to that whole idea of my potentially mellowing out / settling down / this-that?   hrm...   k, n' that "i've made so much progress" bit...   huh?   hrm...   when will i start saying, "geez.... something, something back when i was kewl..."   why do i always think beno today is better than beno yesterday?   beno present / beno past.   hrm...   well, i guess it's not a bad thing...   it just sorta feels egotistical that i think i'm so much better than the person whom i used to be.   that person deserves respect 2!   ha ha.   *sigh*   whatchu think?   every single second, u'r a new person.   well, maybe not...   but everytime u switch ur train of thought u'r a new person.   oh! in that same journal entry, i discuss cluck u. chicken!   ah, those were the good ol' days...

to wrap it up: regicidal lubricant.   hrm... that reminds me of something from the ninja scroll.   can u believe 'tis march already?!

so i did it.   i had 2 cajun chicken sandwiches from mc yuck yuck's 4 lunch.   that set me back $2.15.   frick, i'd better deposit some checks...   sarcasm bad.   why is it a "cajun" chicken sandwich?   tastes like plain chicken to me.   do ppl actually think this is spicy?!   do ppl think jack's spicy chicken sandwich is spicy?   *sigh*   if only i ran a multimillion dollar fast fud chain!   i'd show u spicy chicken!   hrm...   or maybe not...   would ppl buy a really spicy chicken sandwich?   dang, what's w/ all this mayo?   deep-fried chicken n' mayo.   i think i'm ok w/ j.box tv commercials.   i watched both episodes of syndicated rerun simpsons last nite.   i saw j.box adverts.   sat, ate gardenburgers w/ gochujang n' cranberry almond crunch.   watched the 1st episode, then got on.line 4 a short while, chatted w/ chals, then took a long nap.   i woke up.   kaela called me.   i watched the 2nd episode of simpsons.   i tried to work on some remixing stuff, but i couldn't find the cds i wanted to use.   i cleaned up my room, cleaned up my hard drive.   *sigh* no, my room's still messy.   yah, i picked up kaela from the library n' drove her home, hung out @ her place 4 about an hour.   i went home n' slept.

i need postage stamps.   i went to best buy @ lunch 2day to buy a printer cable 4 kaela.   marin co has no real computer stores just lame stuff like compusa n' best buy.   neway, not like ne1 needs to patronise actual stores if they want good computer deals; every1 n' his mutha has a wholesale license to buy computer parts these days.   the only reason computer stores get my money is when i need something right away.   it's like, "why do i pay $1.35 4 sobe @ 7-11?"   convenience.   what's that called in economics terms?   i didn't pay much attention in hs econ.   marginal utility?   i don't think that's it...   utility cost?   something.   the teacher'd talk always give the example of paying $5 4 a coke @ a rock concert or something like that.   opportunity cost?   i really 4get.

so i skipped taekwondo practice last nite.   *sigh*   i won't skip 2nite.   *sigh*   last semester...   how things were sorta routine yet good...   how we'd practice every single nite 'cept sun, n' 2ice on sat.   *sigh*   how we'd always go to 168 or koko house after practice.   hrm...   yah, it was routine but good.   hrm...   routine is usually a bad thing, let's say; let's believe.   whatchu think?   'member how i 1nce proposed that every weekend ought to alternate btwn clubbing n' snowboarding?   imagine that life.   no, we haven't been to avaron in ages.

stress.   r u stressed?   well, every1 knows i'm just pms-ed, not stressed.   i slept quite a bit last nite.   this morn, i woke up n' heard that there were 3 big accidents on 580, so i decided to go back to sleep instead of waiting in queue on the highway.   good choice, right?   if i was gonna be late to work neway, might as well be in bed instead of on the road, right?   i've realised that the morn commute is very hazardous.   i saw an accident happen in my rear view mirror on the richmond - san rafael bridge.   there was a small hold up in the traffic flow.   brake light, brake light, brake light...   every1 slowed down, but not really drastically!   not @ all...   but then somewhere down the line, a car behind me spun out or something.   weird.   i saw it in my mirror.   'twas as if he/she was making a u-turn.   then the car to it's right swerved right, into the bridge wall, i think.   hrm...   i've cn 2 many accidents on my morn commute.   i do realise that the morn commute is 2 hazardous.   gordon proposed that we all commute by solotrek, this personal helicopter thingy.   yah, maybe so.   didju check out the homepage?   looks like a joke, huh?   but it's 4 real.

so u know that i updated my g.book, right?   the old g.book service was deleting 2 many entries.   that sucks.   so i'm now using a new 1.   it's more fun this way.   g.book, g.spot.   chals wanted me to call it the g.spot.   *sigh*   maybe i will.   "please take some time to stimulate my g.spot."   can i say that?!   *sigh*   guestspot.   *sigh*   well, whatever.   it's good to drink more water.   water is good.   drink water.   drink h₂o.

happy leap day eve!   i hope u'r spending it w/ the 1s u love.   didju get me nething?   well, in the spirit of the holiday, i figure i should write a special journal entry.   this jounral entry is specially dedicated to reduced fat wheat thins, the breakfast of champions.   so i haven't logged a journal entry since the 24th.   oh how i miss clam pancakes!   thurs nite...   ah...   uhm...   practiced, uc open mtg, went to daruma w/ kaela, joc, cal, n' phil.   ebi donburi 4 kaela n' me; we shared.   pearl drinks all 'round.   diff drinks 4 every1.   joc: green apple, kaela: almond, beno: lychee, n' cal... hrm... what was it that cal was drinking?   oh yah, honeydew melon.   phil: no drink, just beef udon.

fri, i worked in sf.   bappeun haru.   i felt like i was back in skool.   i had to do some experiments just like an engineering student has to do...   like a lab assignment.   run a control group, n' several variable groups.   weird.   was kewl tho'.   i spent the day working w/ wei, the imaging technician.   she has a son 'bout my age; he goes to cornell.   so she talks 'bout him n' his stuff, how he's supposed to try to get into med skool, but this n' that.   fri, fri, fri.   then i went home...   i scanned some more taekwonboarding pics, but i'm still not done.   so we had our big buca di beppo dinner w/ cal.   cal wanted to take linda, brandie, eric johnson, ken yamaguchi, n' me out cos we did the richmond skool project demo 4 n' w/ him.   he's appreciative.   so he sed he'd take us out to dinner, n' we could invite our significant others, but then somehow that translated into "let's invite the whole p crew!"   so well... it was a huge group something like 18 ppl.   i think cal was annoyed that my car was so late in getting to sf.   yah, we stopped @ walgreen's to get batteries 4 jerome's digital camera.   i drove kaela, jerome, n' mike sia.   i didn't wanna eat 2 much @ buca di beppo cos i knew i was fighting on sun, but oh well!   cal ordered a lot! we had garlic bread, green salad (w/ baked proscuito), chicken n' olive pizza, huge meatballs, chicken cacciatore, cannoli, n' tiramisu.   ugh! so much fud!   i wonder who took home the leftovers.   oh, n' each table had, i think, 1.5 litres of a pleasant-tasting chianti.   jerome'll tell u stories of the nite.

k, sat...   hrm... what did i do?   didn't wake up 2 early.   did laundry.   went to demo practice.   demo...   like i know we got a bunch'a demos coming up, n' i got in the mentality that we gotta just get to work on those specific demos.   yah, i feel bad cos we're shortchanging those like chals who want to work in detail on improving demo taekwondo techniques.   eh, i won't talk so much 'bout this...   but yah...   demos... they exist.   k, so sat evening...   after practice, went to kaela's n' she cooked miyukguk, n' this other seaweed thing, n' salmon.   after dinner, i picked up jerome, n' we went to rent american pie from the channing blockbuster.   i have yet to go to the telegraph/durant blockbuster!   then we swung by j.box to pick up jerome a ultimate ch.burger combo w/ curly fries.   curly fries make the world go 'round.   such unhealthy fud, but jerome don't care.   i didn't stay up late cos i knew i'd be fighting @ hayward the next day.

sun, woke up early but after 'nuf sleep.   called efren, told him i'd pick him up, then realised that i didn't have to be @ hayward @ 800a but only 900a.   so i called him back n' told him i'd sleep in another 0.5 hrs or something.   then everything went as scheduled, i picked up efren, i took 13 to 580e into hayward.   the hayward red/black tournament.   i was the only black belt from cal fighting.   (well, sam sa was there, but he was representing world taekwondo, his home skool...)   that's just like the time i went to the stanfurd tournament, way back when.   i was put into the lightweight division cos my "147 lbs" was messy n' looked like "149 lbs."   there were no weigh-ins, but i knew i weighed in @ 153 lbs the day b4, so 4 honesty's sake, i didn't try to get into the featherweight division.   also, i wanted to try out the lightweight division, i never fought as a lightweight b4...   just middleweight, then featherweight.   i skipped welter n' light, till now.   much better competition showed up than what i expected.   it was a kewl tournament, i suppose.   double elimination.   lots of cal referees showed up.   i was the only black belt competitor from cal, but several red belts came to compete.   k, after the tournament, i went home, washed up, wrote e.mail to chals, went to andronico's, bought some groceries, went to kaela's, cooked lemon caper chicken w/ vermouth sauce, then i went down to san jo to get her new computer from ken.   ken n' i hung out @ his house n' put her 'puter 2gether.   we also just chatted 'bout this n' that, n' his mom served us some fud... like chinese dim sum stuff.   we talked 'bout stocks, n' how geez...   volume trading, day trading... like it's not that hard to make lots of money, but it's really scary.   i'm glad ken's store is doing extraordinarily well.   that's kewl.   i swung by safeway, got kaela some cranberry juice, n' went back up to berkeley after getting some petro 4 my auto.   dang, gas is expensive!   why can't i have a car that runs on musik.   does that make sense?   like i play the radio, n' the car gets happy n' rolls.   then the radio is run from an alternator generating charge from the car's rolling, right?   i dunno...   perpetual motion machine.   right 'bout now, every1's thinkin' 'bout "lisa, in this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"

so it's leap day eve.   how we gonna celebrate?   uhm, i think i'm not gonna practice tonite; gotta let my body rest up from yesterday.   i wouldn't mind hangin' w' taekwondo ppl tho'.   i dunno.   u know, i really wanna get back into my djing/musik stuff, but ppl have to understand that it's not all such a social thing.   like my musik stuff?   i gotta work on it alone, in the privacy of my own room.   it's not such a social thing...   like hrm...   i mean, do ppl get all their friends 2gether, then work on some painting/drawing/sculpture?   not really, right?   it's something like that, personal inspiration, this n' that.   *sigh*   i scan pictures in my free time.   i dunno.   what to do 2nite?   i suppose if u haven't hung out w/ me 4 a while, give me a call.

last nite, i skipped taekwondo practice.   kaela was feeling sorta sick, so i went over to her place to cook chicken noodle soup 4 her.   i had to swing by 99 ranch on the way home to pick up vegetables n' broth n' stuff.   i also bought some applesidra n' bananas.   hrm...   i was hoping she had 1 of those low-to-the-ground eating tables, but she doesn't.   she just has a counter.   so i took down her pc case box n' flipped it over n' deputised it as a low-to-the-ground eating table thingy.   we relaxed.   it's good.   i'm pretty much glad i took a break n' skipped practice.

sociology talk.   2 topics: mahir, the web celebrity n' "andre the giant has a posse."   u know, mahir, right?   if not, check out his website: mahir's "i kiss you" page.   he's a web celebrity...   how else can we put it?   he's famous 4 having a webpage, n' that's all.   well, basically, ppl just laff @ his poor english.   that's sorta bad.   it's like when ppl'd laff @ balki bartokamus (bronson pinchot) on abc's perfect strangers, right?   same kind of thing.   ppl find it interestig that he's maybe the 1st "web celebrity," not famous 4 nething else besides having a website.   well, he's pretty famous now.   i hope u've heard of him.   k, the next topic is "andre the giant has a posse."   i started noticing these posters / stickers 'round town 'bout the same time that i starting college @ uc berkeley, u know?   i assumed they were ads 4 a punk band.   i believed that up until now.   check out their official website: obeygiant.com.   they r ads 4 nothing!   just "an experiment in phenomenology."   whoa, ok.   so now we know.   so who goes 'round putting up these posters n' stickers?   not sure.   just check out the website.   maybe there should be an applesidra cult.   no, what's "maybe" 'bout that?   there should be an applesidra cult!

2morrow's already fri, huh?   man, weeks fly by.   didju even realise i published 'nother pix page??? february 2000 pics.   i'm being pretty prompt 'bout scanning, huh?   i have 'nother pics page on its way: taekwondoboarding pics.   but it's not ready yet.   i still haven't scanned the kaela-beno neoprints, but i shall.   u know what i like?   dirdy birdy.   it's a comic strip n' was a cartoon short film.   i read/heard 'bout it in an ad 4 spike n' mike's festival of animation n' from eleanor hsu who went to go watch it.   kaela saw it sometime in a past life, but i never saw it.   check it out sometime...   i'm working on publishing those survey results, btw.   the survey's pretty much closed, since u can't really guess who my gf is...   uhm, unless u don't know much 'bout kaela, huh?   ok.   so yah, i'm gonna publish those results, n' u can laff @ them.   what ever happened to wow! chips?   i was talkin' 'bout this w/ kaela last nite; how the cause diarrhea, n' how i used to always say that a good slogan 4 them'd be: "wow! chips, so good u'll $#!+ in ur pants!"   olean, olestra...   yah, my thinking is that it's better to eat less fat, to eat healthier, to be healthier, to be fit.   u know that?   yes, u do.   then again, guess what i had 4 lunch 2day!   gordita combo meal from taco bell.   upes.   2 chicken gorditas: 1 baja, 1 supreme, a regular taco, n' a large diet pepsi.   i've been eating fuji apples cos they sure help fud get out of my body quicker.   fiber is good.   fibre.   in-n-out...   flying dutchman, protein style, this n' that.   imagine that!   junk fud, junk fud.   3-d doritos!   cool ranch doritos.   how many diff flavours of doritos have they nowadays?   raw beef is good.   sushi/sashimi.   i 'member when j.box, a long time ago, had these dinner box meals.   they gave away steak knives w/ the steak dinner box.   weird, huh?   n' 4 a short, short while burger king tried to be upscale n' have u sit @ ur table, n' they'd deliver ur fud.   they served popcorn while u waited.   that was short-lived.   weird, huh?   they wanted to be carl's jr.   cj's.   happy star.   i 'member when there used to be squeezer's burger factory in the sobay.   *sigh*   those were the good ol' days.   man, i haven't hung out in the sobay in a while!!!   i wish i could hang there 4 a bit.   i don't wanna move back, but i wanna hang there.

midweek hump.   wed.   it's been such crazy weather 'round here, bouncin' inbetween stormy rain n' sunshiny blue skies.   i think toby went snowboarding 2day.   i would've loaned him my board, but i needed to fix the ankle strap on the binding b4 i lent it out.   i ran out of time.   pearl drinks r cheap @ mandarin house in the durant food ct (the gourmet ghetto, the asian fud ghetto, etc.), but they rn't as good as they r @ 168.

in response to kaela's talk 'bout her experience in the vlsb bathroom, i'll talk.   yah, back in my etcheverry days, my latter days as a mech e undergrad, i used to use the 4th floor bathroom.   the 4th floor of etcheverry hall is the ieor dept, which has a much better female:male ratio.   so... less guys means cleaner men's restrooms, right?   right.   i can still sorta remember the stench of the 2nd floor men's restroom.   yuck.   most the mech e labs r on the 2nd floor, 'least the most often used 1s r.   so yah... that's a nasty bathroom.   *sigh*   etcheverry hall...   i don't like stinky bathrooms.   if there r floating particles in the bowl, i'll flush.   an artist ought to start w/ a fresh, clean canvas.

didju hear me say "windy" or "windy"?   ("wihn-dee" or "wa-ihn-dee"?)   it was windy in corte madera 2day.   i opened my office door to walk over to the bathroom down the hall, n' the door didn't close; the wind kept it open.   windy.   i 1nce knew a gurl named windy.   i haven't cn her in a long time.   1nce in a while i hear 'bout/from her sister sindy.   some1's gotta put an end to this poptart addiction!   long time, no hear.   what have i been up to?   shoot, i 4get; lemme check my journal...   nuts! i haven't logged a journal entry since last fri, huh?

ok...   so fri nite, we left on a snowtrip.   that's jefflyn, dave, kaela, n' me.   we drove up to reno on fri nite, stayed @ harrah's.   we stopped @ the vacaville in-n-out on the way up.   weird, we didn't take ne pics the whole trip long.   fun trip tho'.   neway, we stayed @ harrah's our 1st nite, fri nite.   we checked in n' went to sleep.   no playing, no gambling, nothing.   the next morn, we got up, made reservations @ rodeway inn cos harrah's was booked that nite, n' took off 4 squaw valley usa.   we stopped by mc yuck yuck's 4 breakfast.   hw 89s was jampacked.   i think, earlier, it was closed cos i saw this traffic tv thingy in the harrah's lobby as i checked out, n' it sed that 89s was closed.   we were prob'ly 1 of the last cars that squaw valley let into its parking lot.   so we got all geared up n' boarded.   kaela...   i was really surprised cos kaela kept up w/ us.   i wasn't sure how many times she boarded.   i didn't realise that she's only been boarding those times that i saw her board.   4 some reason, i just assumed like a phi o or some church group must've taken her on a snowtrip some time ago.   she did really well!   i think most ppl learning to snowboard 'll benefit from going on steeper slopes.   the typical mistake of a beginner is to try to stick to flat slopes.   u need 4ward momentum or else u'll fall.   yah, kaela went w/ us on intermediate n' black diamond slopes!!!!   that's kewl.   yah, she has a tendency to keep switching back n' 4th from goofy to regular.   that's ok.   most ppl'd wish they could ride so ambidextrously or whatever u call it.   well... un4tunately she fell 1nce on sat, fell on her head cos jeff n' her collided.   nuts.   she fell right in front of the ski patrol booth, so they all rushed out to help her.   it didn't look like that bad of a fall, but since the ski patrol was taking it so seriously, i took it seriously.   they sledded her down to the medical station, n' i raced down the mtn to meet her.   yah, i had to carry her board (borrowed from darlene) down to the station.   i thought it looked like i was stealing a board cos i was going so fast n' everything, u know?   well, it turned out she was ok.   phew!   i was pretty concerned.   i wouldn't want nething bad to happen to her!   phew...   the medical visit cost $67.   i was worried it'd be hundreds of bucks, but all they did was hrm...   ask her questions n' stuff, right?   they checked her pupils, this n' that.   well, she's ok.   i just hope she had fun.   i really, really like snowboarding.   whether or not kaela goes w/ me, i'll have a good time snowboarding.   i hope she isn't doing it just 4 me...   but she sez she's not, that she really, genuinely like snowboarding 2.   that's good.   if she doesn't like it, i don't want her to do it.   but if she likes it, then sure, i'll take her snowboarding as often as she wants!

so after we finished our biz @ squaw, we went back to reno, checked into rodeway in...   ha, it took us a while to find it cos it ain't in the middle of reno...   it's off 2wards the hilton...   that hilton, not the flamingo hilton, used to be mgm, huh?   well, rodeway inn turned out much nicer than we expected.   we were scared it'd be a dump!   oh, 'twas nice to exploit my aaa membership this trip!!!   so we got all cleaned up.   we were starving.   we thought 'bout going to the peppermill 4 buffet cos i remember they had an excellent seafud buffet way back in 8th grade when kameron kordestani took me up on my 1 n' only ski trip ever.   we didn't know where it was, n' we were starving.   we went to harrah's to eat instead.   the buffet was closed.   dang!   we ate @ cafe napa instead.   i ordered the monte cristo cos i wanted to try it.   way back in hs, we used to visit the ibm almaden research facility a lot.   that's where all that superconductivity research was being done.   i saw employees order monte cristo from ibm's awesome cafeteria.   it looked good... unhealthy, but good.   so what is a monte cristo?   well, @ cafe napa, it tastes like a sandwich doughnut!   it's apparently, 'least there, a ham, turkey, n' swiss cheese sandwich dipped in egg n' deep fried.   it was ok.   i was glad i tried it, i guess.   it was 2 greasy, n' i refused to finish it.   i liked the cafe's dutch cruch rolls tho'.   we kept asking 4 more.   kaela's shrimp, open-faced sandwich was better.   geez, we ate pretty unhealthily on this trip!   well, we went back to rodeway inn n' fell asleep!   no gambling, nothing.   we were so tired.

sun, we slept in so much.   i felt so good, so refreshed!   ppl were sore.   i felt fine.   dave hurt his shoulder trying to catch up w/ the ski patrol taking kaela down to the medical station.   (uhm... didju read kaela's journal already?   if so, u must feel like u'r hearing everything 2ice, huh?)   we boarded 0.5 day @ northstar.   oh, we ate brunch @ dairy queen brazier in reno b4 going.   unhealthy fud 1nce again.   they serve their chicken strip basket w/ white gravy.   weird.   i thought it was ranch dressing.   think 'bout mel's diner's wet fries.   wouldn't it be kewl if they had kewl concerts in reno all the time?   like let's say we went to tahoe, stayed in reno, n' just happened to go to a cure concert in reno?   i know they have chinese pop singers sometimes, like coco lee etc.   i just had that thought.   neway, sun... we went to northstar, we boarded 0.5 day.   yah, kaela, as she sed in her journal, got a li'l frustrated on 1 of the runs.   really, tho', she's doing so well @ learning snowboarding.   she's never had lessons.   i've never had lessons either, so i don't feel i really know how to teach.   4 her, it's just gonna take some time n' experience.   she's progressing fine.   if it's ok to say, i'll say i'm really proud of her.   well...   we drove home.   we stopped by marie callendar's in auburn.   big dinner.   augh, stuffed!!!   then we drove home.   i'm glad the carload talked 'lot n' kept me awake.   phew.   thanks, guys.

i've been sleeping very well lately!   yesterday was pres's day, but i had to work.   i brought kaela to corte madera, dropped myself off @ work, n' let her take my car off to the mall, where she found a starbuck's n' studied.   u can read 'bout that in her journal.   so she came back 4 lunch.   we went to that indian buffet that dave showed me... uh... lotus?   she bought me lunch.   such a sweet gurl!   i was so stuffed after lunch.   ugh!   neway, i worked till evening.   we went back to my place.   she was supposed to study, n' i hope she did a li'.   all i know is that i went to sleep, n' i thought she'd study @ my desk.   but sometime, in the middle of the nite i awoke to find her asleep on the other end of my bed.   i was 2 asleep to figure out that i should've woken her n' told her to study more.   *sigh*   i hope she's ok... i mean, studying-wise.   she has a midterm 2morrow, n' 2 more next week.   i'll try to stay out of her way this whole week.   i really will.   i've got other things to take care of like housekeeping n' stuff.

it's been over a yr since my big car accident in tahoe.   *sigh*   just 1 of the traumatic experiences in my life.   a landmark?   milestone?   dunno whatchucallit.   so what do i want out of life now?   dave's bought a condo now...   friends my age r all talking 'bout buying condos n' stocks.   i own stock.   what's going on?   is this how life's gotta be?   what should i want out of life?   0.25 life crisis?   i'm 24 yrs old.   i'll turn 25 this yr.   yah, what do i want?   i dunno.   i'm fine w/ my job.   if i made more money, yah, that'd be nice.   but otherwise, it's a fine job.   i'm happy w/ my friends.   kaela...   she makes me happy.   i dunno.   what am i dissatisfied w/?   what should i change?   hrm...   some ppl'd offer all sorts of answers, huh?   frick...   i dunno.   i'm not asking ne1 to run my life or make these decisions 4 me.   i'm just thinking aloud.   *sigh*   i like summer.   the only good thing 'bout winter is snowboarding, right?   summer...   the only bad thing 'bout summer is the lack of snowboarding.   summer is fun cos we do stuff like go to great america or watch firewerks @ jack london square.   no, "firewerks" is not a typo.   'member the humourous allusion to "kraftwerk" on the simpsons?   that was the episode where grandpa simpson proved to bart that he's a kewl grandpa.

so what should i talk 'bout now in my journal?   i know ppl talk 'bout the loss of charles schulz.   yah, i really liked peanuts, really did; really do.   *sigh*   i thought it was always so cute.   (can i say "cute"?)   it wasn't so blatantly, ostentatiously funny.   sometimes it was subtle.   it cheered me up.   i really liked it.   sometimes i'd consider it my favourite comic.   yes.

this weekend, kaela n' i discussed my pms problem.   she thought it was kinda funny.   well, it is, but it's really true!   i get pms if my gf's gonna have her period soon.   really!   i get all uh... bitchy.   can i say that?   i mean, i get all cranky n' irritable n' impatient; n' i just don't feel good @ all.   that's just how it is.   don't other guys w/ gfs get like this?

yes, kaela did buy me a new wallet under liane's instructions.   liane 1nce told me, dave, n' chals why a gf should buy her bf a new wallet.   should i tell u?   it's so the bf can't cheat on the gf!   if the bf tries to take another gurl out to dinner, he'll have to take out his wallet to pay 4 her, then he'll c the wallet n' think of his gf...   that's why.   i didn't tell kaeal this 'til after she gave me the wallet.   yah, we've been going out 4 over a month now.

do u know what gewurztraminer is?   maybe u do.   i guess to some ppl, it's a household wurd.   it's a kind of wine, a sweet, white wine.   that's the wurd i was looking 4 when i sed "vestwurgerbeizenshwiezernugen" on tues's "vd2000 coverage" journal entry.   yah, that's the wurd.   so maybe some ppl know wines.   maybe someday i will.   i dunno.   yuppy scum in-training.   there's a webpage/magazine called winex.   uhm, wine... extreme!!!!!   i'm always making fun of that wurd, huh?   please refer to: "extremely dull" and www.x4j.com: extreme 4th of july weekend fun".   doggydish.   surge, mtn dew, sobe, n' gewurztraminer.

i had mc yucky yuck yuck drive-thru 2day instead of burger king.   western omelette mcmuffin.   why?   i dunno why.   worked in sf.   we're going to tahoe this weekend, but our lodging plans got sorta messed up.   oh well.   uhm, what else is up?   oh, so yesterday, we did demos 4 the richmond middle skools, adams n' portola.   that was fun.   i took the day off of work.   we were there to promote the after skool taekwondo programs set up by uc martial arts.   i had cybelle's pizza w/ brandie, linda, n' linda's bf rick afterwards.   went to costco to pick up pics, napped, practiced, 168ed.   who's leaving "guess who?" entries in my g.book?   i heard "unpretty" while in line @ mc yucky yuck yuck drive-thru.   the apt kitchen is absoludidahdiddly nasty! filthy!   oh well.   kaela's got a gas stove @ her place.   i appreciate gas stoves.   i appreciate women w/ fine gas stoves.   ha ha.  

happy burthday jeanna.   yesterday was jeanna's burthday.   jeanna is kaela's li'l sister.

happy burthday, janet.   i still owe u a spider roll.

happy burthday, gordon.   u don't read this journal.   if u did, i'd give u a spider roll...   or something w/ shark in it cos they call u sharkie cos u'r a sj sharks fan.

the cure played @ the fillmore last nite, but i wasn't present.   'member the days when i would've been no matter what?   phil's vacationing in new york but has enrolled in the white belt taekwondo class under chals n' sam's instruction.   more than kewl!   i saw some toyota roadster on the road 2day.   i saw a porsche boxster on a box... but i didn't.   i'm just being silly.

crazy weather in corte madera.   the day started out pretty in-the-middle, sorta drizzly.   i went into sf 4 a mtg in the morning, after checkin' in to corte madera.   a li'l after i came back, a li'l after noon, it started pouring like crazy.   it's done that b4, so it's nothing new.   but wow, still it's pretty impressive, 'specially since it came alluvthesudden.   it poured 4 maybe 10 mins.   then it cleared up a li'l n' was sunny.   in the past, my favourite depeche mode song was "but not tonight."   it's on the 1986 us release of black celebration.   it's from some uk movie soundtrack.   black celebration is such a delightfully depressing album, but "but not tonight" is this happy pop song.   am i just such an optimist?   i like having that cheerful song at the end of that album.   i like that album the best out of all the depeche mode albums, i think.   i only have the uk import release on cd, not the us release.   the cd release does have "but not tonight" cos it has the "stripped" mini-album (ep) attached to the end of it.   i also really like "question of lust" from that album, u know.   neway, let's think 'bout the lyrics to "but not tonight" 4 a sec:

oh god, it's raining, but i'm not complaining, it's filling me up with new life. . . .

oh god, it's raining, but i'm not containing my pleasure at being so wet. from depeche mode's "but not tonight"

i don't use the lord's name in vain.   imagine that!   what a freak i am!   neway, i'm not gonna censor those lyrics or nething dumb like that.   that's how martin l. gore wrote it; that's how dave gahan sings it.   whatever!   so this song, it's basically a "singing in the rain" thing, isn't it?   yah, basically.   i remember, as a middle skool, pubescent, adolescent, i found my sister's tape of this song, put it in my boombox, blasted it in my room, n' danced 'round while no1 was home.   yah, i did that.   weird, huh?   i dunno.   why's it weird?   then after that nite, i thought i didn't want to listen to that song 2 much; or else i'd get tired of it, n' i wanted to keep it special.   some ppl have that mentality 'bout music, but i usually don't.   if i really like a song, i'll want to listen to it over n' over, so i learn all the wurds n' figure out every single note played by every single instrument / synthesized voice patch / whatever.   rain, rain, rain.   it rained 2day.   what if it snowed in corte madera?

i'm a li'l stressed 'bout stoopid taekwondo biz.   i know u don't wanna hear that.   u wanna tell me not to care 'bout taekwondo.   why do i do it?   it's a waste of time.   this n' that...   i'm not talking 'bout practicing.   i'm talkin' 'bout officework.   recruiting volunteers 4 the uc open.   *sigh*   yah, u can try to tell me not to waste my time, not ever to do work 4 the martial arts program, quit my ucmap demo coordinator position, quit my taekwondo demo team leader position, quit it all...   but no.   i like taekwondo.   i do.   it's truly something i enjoy.   is that so wrong?   n' becos i enjoy it so much, i feel like i should give back to the institution that provided so much taekwondo instruction to me, etc.   it's a non-profit organisation n' offers cheap instruction... this n' that.   it needs volunteer help, so yah...   i want to contribute.   so the things that r stressing me out r: 1) that i gotta put on demos 2morrow in richmond altho' few ppl r willing / can to take time out during the middle of the day to do the demo, altho' dr. min n' master royce have been really putting the pressure on me 'bout this; n' 2) recruiting volunteers 4 the ucopen n' all the special requests n' stipulations i gotta follow / oblige 'bout recruiting.   sorry to whine, but yah... in all honesty n' humility, this stuff's bogging me down.   butchu know?   no matter what, i couldn't be unhappy w/ life right now.   u know there's some1 that makes me really happy beyond ne of this yuck yuck crapiness.   u know who.   *sigh*   i wish i could tell u just how special she is.

ha ha, so now i talk 'bout all that went on last nite?   ha ha, well, i'm not gonna tell u everything!   well, i was gonna confirm my carnelian room reservations during the day, but no 1 was answering their fon.   'round 800p, just b4 i was gonna pick up kaela, i finally got an answer, but they sed they didn't have me there.   so i was all panicked, but they told me to just come in @ 900p, n' they'd seat me.   so i was dressed in the suit i bought from korea, wearing it 4 the 1st time.   i left to pick up kaela.   i had a gift 4 her.   she wasn't ready, so i waited outside her door 4 a while, n' jeanna n' john laffed that i'd be waiting 4 a long time.   well, she finally came out n' looked so beautiful in this red n' pink dress.   solid pink underneath w/ this red lace exterior.   wow.   so we drove off to sf.   i was a li'l worried 'bout time, but it was under control.   we parked, went up the express elevator to the 52nd floor of the bank of america building...   whoa! what a fast elevator!   we got to the top, we checked in w/ the maitre'd.   yah, my reservation was there alright.   i dunno what the woman on the fon was thinking.   i bet she didn't understand my last name or something.   after a short wait in the lobby, watching jacketless guys receive loaner jackets, we were seated in the dining room high enuf to c the tip of the transamerica building.   whoa.   it had the perfect, dimly lit, uhm... can i say "romantic"? atmosphere.   *sigh*   wow, i was so happy to be there w/ kaela, no doubt.

should i discuss the menu?   chateau st. jean vestwurgerbeizenshwiezernugen white wine.   very tasty, sweet yah... but not like a dessert wine.   wow.   uhm... i guess... fud: they gave us some smoked salmon pâte, while we browded the menu.   k... kaela's choices: dungeoness crabcakes, garden weed salad w/ pinenuts n' vinaigrette, scallops/prawns/shellfish linguine, n' passionfruit/chocomousse/chocoshell dessert. beno's choices: raw oysters w/ this awesome champagne sauce, apple-spiced celery soup, petit filet et lobster (surf n' turf), grand marnier souflé.   unh! pae booluh! definitely, by the end...   maybe i ate 2 much bread n' it all expanded.   i really fast 4warded here, in this summary.   we sat n' ate 4 a very, very long time.   the fud was very good!   i don't care how dine.com only gave it 3.14/5 (0.2pi).   we saw the head chef come out n' sit w/ some couple n' chat.   wow, what's it like to be the head chef of a restaurant like that?   i thought 'bout eat drink man woman n' the dad from there.   yah, dinner took a long time, but ok... presents!   so... hrm... i opened mine 1st.   what a nice box!   i really liked it.   a kaela-made picture frame on the box w/ all sorts of romantic text.   whadya know?   the box had contents!   wow, so... she really can surprise me!   a new butterfly knife to replace the 1 that got stolen out of my car!   jimmy n' jerome had taken her to sf chinatown to get it; n' i thought they were gonna go study!   *sigh* these guys r 2 kewl.   n' 'course kaela is 2 kewl.   *sigh* wow!   i was very touched.   i know it's weird to most ppl... a knife as a v.day present, but u don't know how well i relate!   i really like it.   n' so, kaela opened her present.   i hope she likes it.   i got her an anne klein, silver watch.   the band is made out of these circular, silver, chain links, a single row of them.   can u picture it?   i really hope she likes it.   i dragged dave to the mall to look @ it n' make sure i wasn't way off, double check.   oh, we neoprinted after dinner, @ j.town.   yes, if u want ne of our 4 j.town neoprints, please ask.   i'll scan n' post them soon.

"u gotta butt that just won't quit..." - homer j. simpson to marge on a postcard

2day, @ lunch, i drove all the way out to richmond costco to drop off film, n' grab a cinnamon sugar pretzel n' berry smoothie.

welcome to vd2000.   where would u like to go 2day?   2day, we celebrate romantic love.   hrm...   i vaguely remember a time not 2 long ago when i sed, "valentine's day is really dumb.   i understand celebrating a couple's anniversary or 1's partner's b.day, but valentine's day?   it makes no sense."   yah, i think i sed that.   hrm...   do u think i meant it?   hrm... prob'ly.   do u think i still think that?   uhm...   i do think b.days n' anniversaries have more personal meaning.   v.day, well, hrm...   ha, i guess i'm pretty lame.   i'm pretty excited 'bout 2day.   tsss!   oh well...   sorry to be such a hypocrite!!!   *sigh*   well, i think i have a special nite planned out 4 us.   i'm pretty excited.   i guess, i'll letchu know, to some extent, how it went!   ha ha.   i mean, i'll tell u 2morrow or sometime...

k, this weekend?   i made 2 trips to san jo!   i went down on fri, right after work, taking i280s all the way down in the pouring, pouring rain.   it took 4ever to get down there cos there were so many accidents!   i had to stop 4 gas in cupertino 2.   @ the de anza blvd / stvns crk blvd chevron, i also rainxed my windshield but did a very poor job.   i went down to ken's store, ideal paging & cellular, if u 4got the name.   i traded my broken mot3160 4 a new 1.   we discussed christina's pager.   then i went home to dine w/ my mom.   we went out to chili's on almaden n' blossom hill.   man, that place was such a hs kids' hangout joint.   i felt like i was in hrm... not clueless, maybe never been kissed.   the caliente catfish actually wasn't 2 bad!   a festive environment, but my mom n' i had a quiet conversation.   they sure give out a lotta fries there.   after dinner, i stopped by home to use the toilet, then was off to berkeley in the pouring, pouring rain.   save it 4 a rainy day.

this weekend...   wow, i didn't really do ne p crew stuff!   whuh, huh? who, where?   weird, huh?   sat, went shopping 4 b.day presents.   oh yah, happy b.day jack chen n' kenneth lee!!!!   i hope they like their presents...   i got jack a lamp...   weird present, huh?   well, a lamp, yah...   n' i got ken a coat from br.   oh yah, my new mot3160 broke on my way up to berkeley on fri nite, right after getting it.   i'm guessing, @ this pt, that it was my old handsfree kit that was killing all these mot3160s.   i was having cellfon probs fri n' sat, but ken activated my sony cmd500 on sat afternoon.   demo practice fizzled.   then brandie, supermike, kaela, n' i went to eat pho in oakland chinatown.   we were supposed to go to pho king (say that really fast.)   on int'l blvd, but they were 'bout to close.   'that phoking restaurant!   they closed on us!'   neway, ate noodles...   then kaela, brandie, n' i got ready 4 jack's b.day party.   we all ended up being really late.   jack chen, i've known him since 5th grade.   he named me "beno."   lots of kewl hors d'oeuvres such as sushi n' chocofondue.   he had a variety of drinks, n' guests were told to bring their own wine glasses n' candles.   kaela n' i just had a li'l wine, but there cmed to be lots of kewl drinks.   i left the wine glasses there, upes.   the weather was finicky, but it was raining both when i showed her jack's lagoon n' boat deck in his backyard n' when we left.   upes, i was wearing all wool n' leather.   kaela was wearing leather 2.   ha, we drove brandie to her car.   water doesn't mix w/ leather, nor does wool like it 2 much either.   cats don't like water, they say; but dogs sometimes dog paddle.

sun, got up late, slept late.   made plans w/ toby to go celebrate ken's b.day.   toby n' i went down to san jo, i got a new mot3160, then we met up w/ hogan @ outback on blossom hill to have a b.day lunch 4 ken.   altho' i got my diet coke refilled a million times, service was pretty lousy, n' i pondered the idea of taking their beautiful steak knife as compensation 4 lousy service.   eh, but i didn't.   they got my order wrong, but it was a pretty tasty chook n' bacon sandwich neway.   i didn't know outback was an australian-themed restaurant.   i thought it was just a steakhouse.   we shared a bloomin' onion, which is just their version of chili's's awesome blossom.   so i went to chili's n' outback in 1 weekend?!   wow.   might as well have patronised tgif's, n' spoon's, n' red robin's!   that was my only meal of the day.   toby cut my hair, we watched futurama, the simpsons, n' the x-files.   yah, i knew they'd want to kill off maude flanders to replace her w/ some1 sexier.   look @ how they gave apu a pretty hot wife.   the emergency broadcast system kicked in during the simpsons, as well as during king of the hill, which we didn't watch cos toby was cutting my hair.   the announcement regarded the current weather, the storm.   i did my laundry last nite.   some1, i think, had puke in our lobby, by the laundry room.   what a jerk...   he shoulda puke somewhere ppl don't have to walk thru!

i'm addicted to poptarts.   i gotta have them.   i'll kill 4 a poptart.   this is all cos kaela bought poptarts on our way home from tahoe.   ever since then...   ppl don't know my habit.   i just bought a 12 pack of safeway select imitation cinnomon n' spice poptarts.   i also bought some kellog's brand nutrigrain twists, 2 boxes.   i also bought some safeway bagels, not noah's bagels...   i also bought fruit salad to eat 4 lunch.   what's my obsession w/ breakfast fud?!   breakfast fud is rice.   american breakfast fud is fruit loops, malt-o-meal, cinnabons, egg mcmuffins, n' coffee.   no... america has many ethnicities.   breakfast fud is that burmese noodle thing that supermike served me in la b4 we went to disneyland, the stuff that made me go to the bathroom n' miss star tours.   rice porridge is breakfast fud.   steamed buns is breakfast fud.   when do ppl eat scotch eggs?   a scotch egg is a hard-boiled egg, covered w/ sausage, n' deep fried.   not healthy.   energy sobe has caffeine.

well, it's v.day.   if u r single, gather some friends n' go to: 1) ben & jerry's, 2) ghiradelli square, or 3) fenton's.   actually... ghiradelli'll have lots of couples.   i 1nce saw the links there, dr. n' dr. link, norman n' susan, the hapkido couple.   so i'll need to get suited up 2nite, or the restaurant won't let me in.   hrm...   i'll try to find something to wear.   ha ha.   i know kaela'll look good cos she always does.   what a hottie!

i went to work in sf 2day.   i went to sf w/o going to cm.   i went via emeryville n' stopped @ the burger king drive thru, got a #2 breakfast, which is sausage, egg, & cheese biscuit sandwich w/ hash browns n' coffee.   coffee?!   coffee has caffeine.   u know i avoid coffee!   but i dunno... 2 fridays in a row!   'member, last fri i got cinnaminis n' coffee 4 $1.79 or something.   2 much bad-4-me fud; that's 4 sure.

well, this evening i gotta swing by san jo 'gain cos cell fon probs.   my new 3160 doesn't power up.   yah, that's a small prob, huh?   it's raining in sf.   hopefully, it's snowing in tahoe!   so whatsup?   lemme think.   went to 168 last nite.   uhm...   watched simpsons on my li'l handheld sony watchman.   well, actually, cal watched it.   ha..   why didn't i spend a li'l more n' buy the .3" bigger active matrix screen?!   then more ppl could watch @ 1nce.   i'm glad phil's joining taekwondo.   what more could i ask 4?   ha ha.   *sigh*   it's pretty much weekend now.   *sigh*   life is good, ain't it?   but i shan't take things 4 granted, no.   it's almost been 1 yr since the day i spun my car out on the 50.   almost 1 yr.   yah, life is precious.   u know, lemme share something now.   i told kaela 'bout this last nite...   oh, yah.. i think phil was in the car @ that pt 2.   a long time ago, i had a dream.   when was this?   hrm... good question.   it might've been in hs or in college, but i think 'twas late hs.   i dreamt that i was being executed by a bunch of keebler elves who lived in a big tree.   really!   uhm, i didn't tell phil n' kaela 'bout the keebler elves yet; just that i was being executed...   'twas by electric chair.   *sigh*   neway, i was sentenced to death, yes.   yet, i sat there in my death chair, n' i thought, "well, i'm going to die.   it's inevitable.   yet, i'm going to die a happy man.   i have so many memories n' have spent time w/ so many good friends, nice ppl.   it's ok that i die now."   hrm...   yah, that was my dream...   i didn't actually stay in the dream long enuf to feel death tho'.   i think jerome mentioned dying in a dream.   was it jerome?   then ppl were joking that it's like when u die in doom or quake, but u haven't pressed the spacebar yet.   i dream in colour.   i hear some ppl dream in b&w.   is that true?   not to bag on ne1, not that this is true, but i heard ppl who dream in b&w r not as intelligent.   i just heard that.

sad, kaela's sick.   i hope she gets better soon.

last nite i drove down to san jo after work.   i dropped sandy off @ oak airport, so she could fly down to la 4 some work interviews, i mean, job interviews.   the traffic was really, really bad in a few places on 880s.   i got home, my mom knew i'd be late, so instead of going out to dinner, she brought home some bbq chicken from armadillo willy's.   i've never been there, but my mom's brought home fud from there b4.   it's pretty good.   i'd like actually to go there sometime to c what it's like there.   it's located @ main st. plaza @ the corner of blossom hill n' santa teresa in san jo.   across the street is in-n-out.   just b4 900p, i met ken @ his store to pick up my motorola 3160, a 2-prong jack 4 kaela's wall charger, n' a handsfree kit 4 joc, n' also to deal w/ christina's pager.   ken showed me the motorola star tac w/ web browsing.   wow, kewl!   i think star tacs r like a totally diff kind of fon from all other fons: they're super small, yet have no battery life n' r mechanically vulnerable.   dave just called me; we're meeting 4 lunch 2day.   did i mention that dave bought a condo this weekend?   now supermike wants to 2.   he's likely taking up a job offer from lam research in fremont.   oh yah, he's dropping out of grad skool after getting his master's instead of staying 4 his ph.d.   wow, i'm recording all this in my journal.   c, am i really that egotistical/egocentric?   of course, i am; i think.

someday, i want to make a webpage w/ all the diff saying found under sobe caps.   i 1nce wanted to make a webpage w/ all sorts of 4tune cookie 4tunes, i think.   think 'bout how many turkey sandwiches n' chicken burritos i've eaten in my lifetime.   yesterday, i had a chicken guadalupe burrito from roadrunner burrito in greebrae.   it had chicken, spinach, mushrooms, n' asparagus.   it also had black beans, rice, n' cheese.   yah, it was very good.   n' think 'bout how much yogurt i've eaten in my life.   think 'bout how many bagels i've eaten in my life.   well, of course u can think 'bout how much rice n' water i've ingested 2.   i'm glad i don't eat hamburgers everyday.   gyros. gyros r good.

k, this'll be a very sorry journal entry.   sorry.   no time to write.   i'm going down to san jo 2nite to retrieve my motorola 3160 n' christina's pager from ken.   on the way down, i shall drop sandy off @ oak airport.   she's going down to la 4 some interviews.   dave yee bought a condo in castro valley.   i'll c my mom 2nite.   yah, last nite was a 168 nite w/ tons of ppl, but we did split into 2 groups.   i'll go ahead n' express my distaste 2wards that kinda stuff...   neway, hey! i put up a new pics page!   check out: post snow trip january 2000 pics.   k, sorry, this is such a sorry entry.   take care, dear readers!

i went to lunch @ boudin sourdough in the corte madera mall.  i had a turkey n' havarti cheese sandwich on sourdough roll.   there was a lady in waiting in front of me in line.   it wasn't a very orderly line, so the lady was about to let me go 1st, but i sed, "no, i think u were here b4 me," n' she thanked me.   she ordered what i wanted to order, but she asked 4 no cheese, no lettuce, no mayo; just mustard n' tomato.   i usually wouldn't eat cheese (cos it's fattening) but i wanted to try their havarti cheese.   the lady 1st asked 'bout what wheat bread they had this n' that.   she was very mean to the poor cashier.   the cashier had a french accent, i think.   not sure, but definitely european.   i'm pretty sure french.   the non-accented employee, whom i remembered from the last time i was there, explained that they have a multi-grain bread.   the lady in grey was not being nice @ all to the cashier.   she wasn't nice 'bout the bread, wasn't nice 'bout the cheese.   then when she picked up her order, she saw her receipt sed "turkey hav" n' made a big fuss cos she thought her sandwich had havarti cheese in it.   "i specifically asked twice 4 no cheese!"   the non-accented employee, whom i remember from the last time i was there, explained to the lady in grey that that's just how the item is rung up on the register.   the lady was not nice @ all 'bout the whole thing, but sorta tried to make up 4 her mistake by being all kissing-uppish when she found out she made a big fuss 'bout nothing.   *sigh*   why do some ppl have to be so unpleasant?!

last nite @ daruma, darlene was talking 'bout her experiences w/ sexual discrimination in the workplace.   she also talked 'bout how her mom was discriminated against @ work cos she speaks w/ a pilipino accent.   that's really sad, that this kinda stuff happens!   geez...   daruma sells pearl drinks now, 4 $2 each.   their moo gua neo nai sure ain't much to talk 'bout tho'.   the almond pearl drink is ok.   (kaela puts all her non-english wurds in italics, huh?   eh, i won't do that.)   ken sez motorola sent me a new fon.   kewl.   upes! that means i don't have christina's froggy stickers on it nemore!   that also means i gotta reprogram everything!   oh well...   maybe i'll go down to san jo 2morrow evening; meaning i'll skip practice.   if so, who wants to roll w/ me?   1 can learn to be a gentleman by reading encyclopedia brown books.   some things can't be learned from encyclopedia brown, but they just make sense.   or u can say they're "strange."   ("is it really so, really so strange?"   smiths allusion.)   which reminds me of some 4tune cookie 4tunes i've gotten in the past: "trust his eyes not his words."   "there's nothing like good food, good wine, and a bad woman."   "behind every able man is another able man (in bed)."   "you will succeed in everything you put your hands to (in bed)."   i used to collect 4tune cookie 4tunes, back in the early yrs of cal.   i'd keep them in my id card holder.   that's the card holder the dorm gave me.   i didn't keep my id in my wallet.   2 separate things.   my mom made me stop carrying those 4tunes cos she sed they were all gross n' stinky or something.   it was really fun to pull them out, while waiting in line 4 a wheeler hall fri nite movie, n' read them all.   i had a very, very big stack of them!   ppl were amazed @ how many times i must've gone to chinese restaurants, n' only since freshman yr of college!

happy yr of the dragon.   happy new yr!   is this what they say: "gong xi fa cai; hong bao na lai."   is that whatchu say?   andy or some1 sed it on sat nite @ the dinner table.   i tried to 1) celebrate, n' 2) relax this weekend.   celebration, fud, n' sleep.   fri nite, after a long, deep nap, i went w/ p crew affiliates to k2 @ s.factory.   funstuff.   they actually stopped the musik to have a lion dance in the middle of the evening!   kewl.   we met sandy's hs friend debbie.   kaela knew sandy's other friend vivian n' ran into all sorts of friends @ s.factory.   right after the lion dance, they played "bizarre love triangle."   that sure is a good song 4 an asian celebration, right?   neway, the musik n' dancing n' friends was really fun, n' i was happy.   after s.factory, we went to ihop.   yah! ihop!   i've been wanting to go 4 so long.   the nite b4 my 2nd dan test, p crew went, but i didn't eat cos i was 2 full from my company dinner.   shared an appetizer sampler n' blueberry pancakes.   i hadn't had mozzarella sticks in ages!   2 much fud; still eating so much, u know that?

sat... slept in late!   it felt really good.   i went to go "lead" demo practice, altho' master lim (tae hee) is the 1 who can really teach us nething.   so we practiced, talked 'bout demos n' team spirit, etc.   good stuff.   then we went out to daimo restaurant in the pacific east 99 mall.   the owner or manager guy was really nice.   we ordered some really good food, including ostrich w/ black peppercorn, a really delicious steamed bass, peking duck w/ wintermelon, walnut prawns of course, n' well... lots of stuff!   lots of stuff!   we ate well.   then we went to noraebang 4 a while.

sun... geez, i'm back to recapping weekends, huh?   dang, sorry.   *sigh*   just rattling off what we did.   nuts.   here's 1 thing to add.   ppl keep calling this time of yr "chinese new yr," but yah... it's celebrated by many cultures.   lunar new yr.   k, on w/ rattling off events!   sun, 1st costco, picked up pix.   i have a kodak picture cd that was free w/ my processing.   kewl deal!   the scans r pretty good!   really nice.   k, off to sf.   i dropped kaela off @ sfgh... she can tell u 'bout this...   then i went shopping @ sf fashion centre 4 / union square a while.   but then kaela called me cos she was told to leave the hospital cos she's sick.   so i picked her up, we went back to sf fashion centre, shopped, quickly ate @ max's, picked s.mike up from sfo, hung out w/ s.mike n' minlee, n' then went to sungjae's place to hang out, watch tarzan on video, eat instant chajangmyun, n' then went home.   so that's a weekend.   not just ne weekend... new yr's weekend!

man, i want to go snowboarding!   really badly!   need to go.   i dunno when tho'...   demo practice every sat.   maybe i can sneak away 4 a day trip on a sun.   maybe ppl'll go on pres's day weekend, n' i can skip 1 demo practice.   we'll definitely go the 1st week of "spring break" as the students call it.   i told master lim that he should come w/ us sometime, n' he should; no doubt.   i gotta get an oil change tho'.   man, jiffy lube's such a rip, but i dunno if i take my car newhere else, if i can get it done really quickly.   vitamins r good.   sobe is good.   must drink sobe.   i still need a "green is good" bottle cap to earn my lizard lightning shirt.   sobe.   hrm, i sure talk 'bout sobe a lot 4 some1 who isn't paid off 2 do so.

... do u realise i sometimes add on to my journal entries?   i am doing so @ this moment.   oil changed, chipotle turkey sandwich, naked fuds protein smoothie...   i saw that "gvahoot" license plate on the back of a new cadillac n' started thinking if it's "woodsy" the owl that sed that.   i mean, that's his name, or no?   onion breath.   oh yah, this is what i wanted to do...   'member the pets.com sock puppet doggy?   here, i'll link u 2 his picture: pets.com sock puppet doggy.

... adding more.   the cure.   check out their official website.   *sigh*   it's kewl cos the band members actually made it, even tho' they're such big stars n' all.   i was reading 'bout ex-cure members, n' wow...   i remember when i kept up so close w/ them!   i remember how i knew robert hated lol, this n' that.   funny.   it's really funny reading the li'l things robert sez 'bout lol.   their new album is bloodflowers n' comes out next week, huh?   wow.   how i've fallen away!   i'm not even 2 sure who this jason guy is; their new drummer?!

i don't wanna sound all cutesy n' stuff, but i really love that pets.com billboard!   it's got a bunch of cats (altho' i don't like cats 2 much) eating cat fud, then the pets.com sock puppet dog eating w/ its mouth open, facing the camera.   pets.com, cos pets can't drive.   true, they mostly can't.   last nite, 168, then came home to find the other 0.5 of the p crew @ my place w/ josh lounging around, drinking beer.   sung n' sam lee slept in our living room last nite, apparently.

2day, i worked in sf.   kaela visited me @ our sf office.   we ate @ pasta pomodoro on california st. but had a weirdly lousy experience.   on my way to sf from corte madera, i stopped @ the marin city burger king drive thru to get cinnaminis n' coffee.   i very rarely drink coffee.   i was puttin' sugar in my coffe n' dropped the whole packet in.   i was lazy n' in a hurry, so i thought, "hrm, it's sorta like having a teabag."   well, the packet eventually floated to the top n' i took it out w/ the stirrer.   i didn't come near to finishing the coffee.   i really don't wanna drink coffee, altho' i drank espresso @ equinox @ the end of our "1st date."   why did i put that in quotes?   it really was our 1st date... unless u count yiasoo's.   that's the greek fast fud place in san jo.   lots of talk 'bout fud lately...   nuts, i'm eating 2 much.   cinnaminis...   'member, phil sent me an e.mail fwd 'bout how the smell of cinnabons has an aphrodisiac effect on men.   "cinnaminis" is cute name.   i'm trying my hardest not to talk cutesy stuff...   *sigh*

i really love manila folders.   they make me feel so organised.   i want to have my own box of them.   hrm...   but then i'd have this big mess of a bunch of manila folders full of junk but no where to put the manila folders, huh?   it rained a lot in corte madera / marin co. 2day.   i had a #15 togo's 4 lunch 2day.   rosa used to praise those a lot.   i hate to say it, but i didn't like it as much as i expected.   it was 2 soggy.   oh, wait!   rosa praised the grilled chicken sandwich.   no, didn't have that, neither have i ever had the cajun chicken sandwich, which was only there 4 a limited time.   when i was in hs, i sorta wanted to work @ togo's.   i think i dropped off an application, but never got called back.   i knew a couple of ppl who worked @ togo's.   last nite, while @ ben n' jerry's, sandy shared w/ us how an ice cream or frozen yogurt place 1nce rejected her.   is it ok 4 me to publicise that?   she just got a big job offer from baine consulting.   they're better than ne ice cream place i can think of.   manila folders... *sigh*

i'm eating a lot these days.   my mom tells me to eat more, n' i'm actually doing it.   i'm exercising enuf n' eating a lot.   that's an ok way to be isn't it?   it's better than eating a lot n' not exercising; that's 4 sure.   1 could also not eat n' not exercise, process less energy, u know?   i think that's something 1 has to do to live longer.   i've heard that to live long, 1 shouldn't consume many calories.   i'd think that also means, 1 shouldn't expend many calories.   the athlete's life doesn't necessary lead to a long life, huh?   s.mike agrees.

well, last nite we had practice (taekwondo practice, of course).   i'm actually, a li'l sore, just a li'l.   it's actually more in my upper body.   my legs?   maybe a li'l tired, but not sore.   after practice, i went over to kaela's to cook smoked salmon n' asparagus linguine, something my sister taught me to make.   we didn't think we had asparagus, so i bought leek while i was at andronico's, since it looked like a possible interesting replacement.   well, i used both, since we found edible asparagus @ kaela's.   *sigh* i wish i had a gas stove; electric sucks.   well, it's good to cook again.   1nce in a while, u know?   shouldn't go out to 168 or koko every nite.

2day, i gave my coworker alfred a jumpstart.   he had never heard of grounding the dead battery to the engine block instead of the anode.   i thought that was common practice.   i mean, that's exactly what the instruction label on the cables sez to do.   yah, @ 1st when i saw jumper cables, i instinctively figured u'd hook + to + n' - to -, but i learned... hrm... i guess in driver's ed to hook the cathodes 2gether, then hook the live battery's anode to "big piece of metal" somewhere under the hood.   sometimes i can't make good contact w/ ne "big piece of metal" cos all the hunks of metal i can find r painted etc.   hrm...   yah, 1nce i was having a li'l trouble jumpstarting some1's car, n' this guy came by, hooked the anodes 2gether, n' it worked.   i guess that time i didn't have good contact on the "big piece of metal."   haven't i given phil a jumpstart on more than 1 occasion?   i remember 1nce, on campus, but another time?   guess not.

so what's on 4 the weekend?   i wanted to go to tahoe, but i think i'll skip.   i'll celebrate chinese new yr somehow.   i'll pick s.mike up from the airport.   he's going down to la 4 a date.   i'll pick him up on sun.   maybe i'll go down to san jo, i dunno.   chals n' sandy got a friend comin' up from la 4 a visit, n' they wanna do stuff.   so i dunno... whatsup 4 this weekend?   not sure.   i haven't watched simpsons in ages!   k, not really ages, but need to c!   whoa, the domain name "beno.com" is already taken!   same w/ "beno.net"!!!   who bought those names?!   they just want me to pay them off, huh?

eat here now.

which 1 is it?   bay area guardian or sf weekly?   "eat here now."   does brandie still have that "your next girlfriend is in here" ad on her door?   that's an ad 4 uhm... 1 of those papers, the 1 w/ the editor or owner or publisher or whatever, w/ the gray beard.   i missed an entry yesterday, altho' i did write an entry on sunday.   superbowl sunday.   the superbowl didn't affect me much; i didn't watch it.   titans v. rams, eh?   i was @ the rsf on sun afternoon, puttin' my @$$ on the butt gallery...   stairmaster, wiggle wiggle.   then nite out.

the equinox sits atop the sf hyatt regency.   the fud's not as bad as ppl say.   the view was a li'l less than what i expect, but enjoyable.   twin peaks has a view.   many restaurants r on top of tall buildings.   so i got readdicted to all that writing restaurant reviews 4 dine.com.   i've written over 60 reviews 4 them.   it's addicting.   so i've been writing restaurant reviews instead of journal entries.   fud is good.

last nite, celebration of sandy's big job offer from baine.   wow, they're willing to pay her really big money!   that's 2 kewl!   so we were @ koko house.   josh sed, "i thought u sed u hated yang nyum tong dalk."   i never sed that!   i just sed it's sometimes 2 salty w/o rice.   n' last nite, they didn't cut up the pieces small enuf.   'twas like eating kfc.   lots n' lots of ppl in attendance to celebrate 4 sandy.   kewl.   supermike was there.   supermike...   he's going down to la this weekend 4 a date.

ebmud water is good.   marin county water is good.   sfpud water is good.   santa clara valley water?   not so tasty.   water in tahoe?   good.   drink 8 glasses of water each day.   big glasses, not shot glasses.

i believe, as of 2day, it's illegal to operate a motor vehicle, in the state of california, while talking on a cellular telephone w/o use of a handsfree kit.   correct me if i'm wrong.

la ppl got to grow up w/ in n' out (burgers) all 'round them.   me, i grew up in norcal.   in n' outs just started popping up here a few yrs ago.   now there's 1 on santa teresa blvd. n' blossom hill rd.   whuh?   no way!   they're puttin' 1 in tiburon area or werever that is... that strawberry place...   in marin county.   when the pinole 1 opened up, that was crazy, huh?   b4 that, cal students ('specially homesick socal cal students) would go to vacaville or tracy to get in n' out.   when did that in n' out on bernard dr., off the 5, pop up?   not sure.   c, socal ppl, la ppl, they grew up on that stuff, huh?   i feel like that makes them a diff species or something.   @ the same time, this new generation of norcal kids eats in n' out.   hrm... what to say?   learn in n' out terminology @ this page: "common words overheard when ordering something at in-n-out burger".   days sure r gettin' longer.

uhjei na uy yuhjah chingun emenilul mannassuh.   yesterday was saturday.   san jo.   my handsfree kit input is all jacked, so i had to leave my fon w/ ken, so he can send it in 4 repairs.   i'm back to using my big, bulky sony cmd-500.   oh, nay yujah chingu eigei saeroun cellfon sassuh...   just like mine, matching.   ha ha.   funny, huh?   ken's 2 kewl.   i really appreciate how we've been friends 4 so long, n' i feel we can always be there 4 each other.   that's kewl.   on fri nite, dinner w/ eugene n' eileen.   hadn't cn them in ages.   zza's in oakland, italian tratoria.   isn't that whatchu call it?   it's been a relaxing weekend, yah.   good to relax.   good, good, good.

went to the rsf early this afternoon.   gotta exercise, u know?   on my way back, i saw this 30-something, asian-american, yuppy couple.   the woman was wearing a red stanfurd jacket, n' the guy was wearing a blue cal golden bears jacket.   what a sight, huh?   they were walking by people's park on dwight, 2wards telegraph.   i pulled into my garage.   there were this small blue squares all over the ground.   baby blue.   pieces of paper?   hrm...   i had some clue what they were.   i pulled into my spot, n' went to go prevent a further mess from happening.   some1 had dropped 2 packs of maxipads on the ground.   a car had run over 1 of the bags n' spread li'l flat, baby blue packets all over.   so i took the other pack of pads n' placed it by a structural column, so it wouldn't get run over.   didju know my ladlord got busted 4 running an imported prostitution bizness?   i always knew they were the indian mafia!   always knew!   according to berkeley city ordinance, if ur landlord gets busted 4 prostitution, u win free rent 4 a yr!!!   ha, i've overused that joke lately.

amudeun, haengbok haeyo.

yah, the city of berkeley.   the view of the whole bay area @ nite from the berkeley hills.   i grew up in the bay area.   i remember visiting my "cousins" (u know, not real cousins, but family friends, which makes them ur li'l brothers n' sisters, u know?) in newark.   i dunno why i thought 'bout that, but i did. i've lived in the bay area 4 a long time, n' i like it here.   i grew up in san jo, went to college in berkeley, worked in oakland, orinda, the city, n' marin co.   play in the city.   been all thru-out.   *sigh*   yah, there's a variety of life here, n' i like it.   marin co. is the mtn biking capital of the world, but i've never owned a mtn bike, which is ok, cos i don't live in marin co., just work there.   s.mike thinks i should get a mtn bike, but he tends to think i should get lots of stuff.   i don't like collecting junk; i don't like collecting tools of hobbies i don't actually do, n' do a lot!   s. mike wants me to get into golf.   i used to always think it was such an elitist sport.   k, maybe young ppl play it now, n' tiger woods really opened the doors 4 all types of ppl to play golf.   i don't really want to get into golf that badly.   my dad teaches ballroom dance n' stuff like that.   it's kewl to be good @ some kewl interest n' hobby, so i really respect him 4 that.   that's just 1 of the things he does.   me, my big interests r: taekwondo n' snowboarding...   i haven't done enuf musik stuff lately!   wanna do more deejaying/remix stuff.   hrm.... this online journal takes up a lot of my time, huh?   i'd also like to get back into cooking.   golf?   eh... no, not yet... it wouldn't be a full time thing, but i'm willing to try stuff, u know?   i mean, like i'll go paintballing or to the shooting range if ne1 asks, but those rn't hobbies or interests.   i'm sure lots of my friends think of snowboarding like that.

so... life!   life, life, life.   it's good to live an active life.   i wouldn't mind trying surfing.   of course, i wanna try riding a motorcycle, w/o doubt.   try, try, try.   that doesn't mean i'll devote lotta time to those kinds of things.   it's not just what u do, but with whom u do it.   'member when a bunch of us took swing dance classes?   that was fun.   i wanna take an offroad driving course!

2day, i actually admitted to my mom that i've sorta thought 'bout buying a place...   she used to always tell me to think 'bout it, since she's a realtor, but i'd always say, "no, no, no... not yet!"   but yah, i've been thinking more 'bout it as a reality lately.   i'd want to live closer to my work, further north.   so... i guess my topic of the day's been stuff i wanna do in life, huh?

yah, i got to c kaela's work n' luved it.   she's 1 of the few ppl who understand my work cos she works in that microscopy environment.   wow, but lbl is so clean looking!   yes, i like.

so last sat nite, we watched galaxy quest @ jack london cinemas after eating @ tgi friday's.   i didn't know exactly the plot of galaxy quest.   i knew it was a sci-fi/comedy.   it was really kewl not to have 2 many expectations going into the movie since i didn't know what it was exactly 'bout.   it's like when we went to go c being john malkovich, i suppose.   i don't wanna talk 2 much 'bout the movie cos maybe u'll go watch it w/o knowing 2 much n' enjoy it just as much as i did, u know?   like if i tell u nething 'bout the movie, it'll alter ur experience, 'least alter it from the experience i had, right?   eh, but u don't have to go watch every movie as if it were some mystery grab bag movie.   it's ok to anticipate how a movie'll be, right?   hrm...   i mean, who went to go watch phantom menace w/o ne expectations of ne sort?   yah, i know there r some oddballs out there who never saw ne of the star wars trilogy.   yes, there r.   sci-fi movies...   hrm...   galaxy quest was fun.   i know s.mike had more fun watching galaxy quest than girl interrupted.

so an anonymous friend of mine asked me to post 2 letters to kaela's ex-bf in this spot.   anonymous friend, i really appreciate ur support n' concern.   i sincerely do.   really!   i am going to decline, @ this pt, to post ur letters.   kaela's journal is back up.   i was really disturbed, yes, that some1 would go to such extents n' do something like that...   it was mostly an attack on me.   the letter was full of lies or misin4mation, i won't assume 1 or the other.   the ppl who know me, the ppl who r close to me, they know that that's not the kind of person i am, so i don't feel a need to dignify that affront w/ a response.   anonymous friend, i am refusing, @ this pt, to post ur 2 letters cos this shouldn't be a battle btwn kaela's ex-bf n' me!   i don't want to wage war w/ kaela's ex-bf cos i don't want kaela to get hurt if i were to be so lame as to 'defend my honour' in a case like this.   defending my honour?   it's all not worth my time right now; i've really got better things to these days.

neway, anonymous friend, i really respect u, n' thank u 4... well, u weren't really supporting me, u wrote those letters being kaela's friend, not necessarily mine, n' u wrote in support of kaela n' not me.   hrm...   which makes me feel, yes, i should post those letters; it's not my place to keep them from being read since they 4 from u, kaela's friend, to kaela's ex-bf, n' the regard only kaela, not me...   *sigh*   this is a public place, i don't feel a total need to air these issues here.   there's already been so much public embrassment...   so, i'll keep those letters, yes, n' think 'bout posting them, but not yet.

my grandpa gave me advice on living a long life.   he's really old.   ha, i don't say that in a bad way, no.... a good way.   he's a fun guy who's wise in his yrs.   he told me not to get involved in arguing 'bout politics n' religion, to eat vitamins, to take a deep breathe a few times a day, n' to get exercise several times a week.   ah, last nite...   finally got a decent taekwondo workout after all this time.   i'm not sick nemore @ all.   i think that last snowboarding trip cured that.   snowboarding tends to cure my ailments.   so i got to train a li'l harder...   yah, i've trained harder, but geez... b4 last nite, i've been a total lazy slob.   christina's really motivated, n' a very motivational training partner or instructor-type person.   i haven't really talked much 'bout tae hee's arrival to the states, huh?   lim tae hee i met @ yong-in daehakkyo.   now he's @ berkeley, learning english n' teaching us taekwondo.   he's a really, fun guy, a nice guy.   he's a yong-in student, majoring in taekwondo n' will graduate soon.   a young guy.   but he's also a master (5th dan).   well, he's a really kewl guy, n' has been hanging out w/ us.   he's gonna be here 4 6 months.   oh, 'bout taekwondo...   after the nat'l geo demo, dr. min brought me into his office, n' sed that if the demo team trains seriously, he wants to send us to the hanmadang, the top international taekwondo demo competition.   he was really serious.   i hope this happens.

i need to talk to u all about a situation, a rather serious 1.   so kaela's really being harrassed n' stalked by her ex-bf.   i've not wanted to talk 'bout this cos i felt it'd be ungentlemanly to air another man's durty laundry.   @ the same time, i care 'bout kaela's safety n' happiness.   it's not 'bout whether i have a gf or not, i want kaela to live a happy life.   last nite, i needed, 4 the 2nd nite, leave my fon off the hook cos her ex-bf would not stop calling.   last nite, he also broke into her website, rerouted her journal, so that the link led to a public letter 'bout how i'm scum 4 stealing her away from him.   in life, i try to make the best decisions by the principles i believe in.   kaela n' i have agreed that this situation is really serious, n' the berkeley police department has been notified.   no means no, n' every man must understand that.   i want to thank all our friends in this time 4 their support.

u know, i never saw that movie.   on our way back from tahoe, my carload was talking 'bout how, while we were in hs, there wasn't ne kewl, teenybopper movies.   nowadays, there r lots of them, n' back b4 our days there were john hughes movies.   we were talkin' 'bout this, n' sometime last week, i heard alice or z95 interview freddie prince jr., n' he made the same comment.   weird.   then last nite, while @ the jack london barnes n' nobles, i saw this book pretty in pink a documentary book on teenybopper movies.   what a topic.   do young ppl really get themselves into such dramatic conundrums n' tangles?   i walked past pizzeria uno n' heard "bizarre love triangle."   funny.   u know, how i always considered that the all-time asian-american party song, right?   uhm, i think that's the song i played the most while deejaying, i mean, of all time.   while @ cal, the song i played the most was "another night."   but all time, "bizarre love triangle."   hrm...

well, fri afternoon/evening, the cal taekwondo demo team put on a show that i'm proud of.   k, i hope that doesn't sound cocky.   i'm not saying i did some great job, i'm saying that the team as a whole did a great job, n' i'm proud.   dr. min told me i could treat them out to dinner, up to $7 a person.   whoops, i shoulda sed that after they ordered, not b4 they even figured out who wanted to go!   upes, well, i'll have to explain the bill the dr. min, i guess.   *sigh*   luckily, linda agreed to have every1 pitch in a li'l $$$ to cover a li'l of the bill.   ppl really ordered a lot!   we were @ hai loon king.   then we partied @ brandie's place.   the party started out slow but took off!   whoa...   k, i'm using the uc annex warhol line, so i'll be kicked off soon.   there4, i must go.

[c. 1015p]   ok, so how many of u r avid kaela journal readers?   hrm...   well...   ever watched those love boat episodes that ended w/ dropping the passengers off on fantasy island?   or didju ever watch those happy days episodes where laverne n' shirley came on?   ahem...   well, imagine if that were a li'l more permanent.   hrm...   was there ever an instance of 2 shows that sorta merged?   the inverse of a spinoff.   hrm...   well, if u read kaela's entry from yesterday, then u know where i'm going w/ this....

sounds like i have an announcement...   announcements...   like in eat drink man woman...   *sigh*   jerome sez, ever since he's known me, i've been single, n' this is weird 4 him.   uhm, ok.   well, get used to it, jerome, buddy.   yes, kaela n' i r officially going out, officially a couple, yes.   so...   beno, no, not single nemore...   i was having lots of fun being single, n' u know i wasn't really looking 4 a gf (despite all the joking w/ the survey n' all), but well...   w/o really looking 4 a gf, i found some1 i really like, to whom i'm really attracted, n' w/ whom i feel very compatible.

[c. 1100p] so well, i'll write 'bout this a lot more, well... from now on.   ok, so now u know.

so that's what it's called, huh?   didju know there's an american society of crows and ravens.   they can setchu straight.   they sure set me straight!   b4 that was i less than straight?   uhm, no.   neway, do u 'member my journal entry from 13 january? "cackle, cackle of crows."   so... they set me straight.   it ain't a "cackle" of crows, 'tis a "murder" of crows!!!   so we're off counting crows now.   well, 'tis almost the weekend now.   i'm 'bout to leave my office cos i'm working 0.5 day cos i'm going back to berkeley to lead the taekwondo demo 4 nat'l geographic.   that's @ 400p.   *sigh*   weekend.   can u believe that?   ok, 2day's a shorty.   this is all i'll write.

i ate w sara lee sourdough dinner rolls w/ pineapple jam n' 1.5 generic safeway blueberry, frosted poptarts.   i'm ready to bring down society as we know it.   girl interrupted, movies like that... 12 monkeys.   it's all 'bout "who's the crazy 1?"   who's reality is really reality?   u can create ur own world n' live in it.   what would it be like to live inside disneyland?   when u dream, that's when u live.   what u think is real life is actually a dream.   ha ha ha.   don't that all sound like typical trying-to-be-deep stuff?   yah, so i cooked catfish @ chals's place last nite.   that was fun.   kaela, chals, sandy, n' me.   yah, chals's old home videos 4 skool were really funny.   *sigh*   i miss doing those things...   i wish my company'd tell me to round up some friends n' make a home video!   n' it'd be kewl to have a full kitchen in my office, so i can fry catfish during lunch.

no, not blue rain, not blue ice.   blue snow.   bernard lam asked why snow is sometimes blue.   snow snow snow...   snowtrip!!!!!   man! what a trip!!!!   it's a really precious thing to make such memories w/ ur friends.   we'll have so many stories to tell from this trip.   *sigh*   these are the good ol' days.   many smiles.   lafs.   i won't be able to help but reminisce.   well, let's reminisce.   fri...   i came home from work, ready to pack hastily n' jet.   well, every1 was all uh...   disorganised as expected.   no 1 really got to my apt, the mtg place, on time, @ 600p.   darlene n' peter tsai were the 1st to get there, then phil.   i let them wait there, while i picked up brandie, bernard, n' kaela; n' brought them back to the mtg place.   (k, 'course josh was on time to the mtg place, but that's sorta a given.)   dave brought over chals n' sandy (sandles).   s.mike picked up jeff/joc (jefflyn).   chals n' sandy were showing off their supermarioworld skillz, but we eventually packed everything up n' raised anchor.

we originally planned to stop @ the vacaville in n' out 4 dinner, but just like last yr, we only lasted till the pinole in n' out b4 we had to stop.   well, maybe it'll have to be tradition.   we took a pic in the same place.   in n' out was crowded as usual.   both me n' kaela barely ate our burgers n' passed them onto chals.   he ate them, but he was so surprised @ how li'l we ate.   brandie, kaela, n' phil were in my car.   the whole trip up, we kept losing each other n' playing catchup.   drivers: dave, supermike, josh, n' me.   i was the only non-civic!   ha ha.   we made bathroom breaks.   josh n' s.mike's cars went straight to the cabin, while dave's n' my car went to the realty place to pick up the keys n' maps.   ah...   public urination....   well, safeway wasn't open!   we went to the cabin.   it took my a while to figure out which door to open.   i thought it was a multi-unit dwelling cos it was a huge house w/ many entrances.   whoa!   it was really 1, huge house!!!   we had so much space!   'twas all decoed out in the grooviest 70s fashion.   it was this freelove kinda, shag carpet place w/ these lovedens or something...   weird.   so much space.   most ppl got beds.   ha, we got there, n' chals started blasting old skool bass musik.   man, it was 14 young ppl in 1 house, having wholesome fun.   i was loving it.   i mean, there was just so much life.   well, we didn't stay up 2 late cos we wanted to board the next morn.   well, we stayed up later than i woulda wanted to, but well, it took some time to settle in n' all.

the next morn, uhm... i woke up to some strange snoring.   ha...   i won't pt fingers @ who...   darlene woke up 2, n' went down to start cooking breakfast...   breakfast burritos.   s.mike, jeff, peter, n' me help her out later.   every1 ate.   that took a while.   were we ever gonna get to the slopes?   ppl eventually started getting ready to go out.   then phil n' i went back to the realty place to check in officially.   i had low tire pressure, so i had to go to the shell station.   whoa, i started learning to drive in snow.   this whole weekend was very educational.   snow driving...   no, u don't hafta spin out; it's possible to drive in snow; but yah, u gotta be careful!   i didn't get into ne accidents, thank god, but wow... i really made use of my subaru's all wheel drive n' antilock brakes.   whoa!   there r some really dumb ppl driving out there in the snow; let me tell u.   n' there r others who drive like they're dumb, but r just locals used to sliding into their turns.   uhm, i'm not gonna try to pretend to be that comfortable w/ snow driving.   the civics all chained up, but i didn't chain up @ all the whole weekend...   uhm... altho' it was semi-foolish, i didn't even carry chains.   most of the fellow subarus i saw didn't wear chains, but a few of them did.   well, the process of leaving the cabin (including chaining up) took a long time.   josh's chains fell off, n' that delayed us more.   by the time we got to northstar, wow... we weren't even gonna get a real 0.5 day in.   i mean, i'm not whining, but it felt like all i did was warm up.   i had a few big air jumps, but i didn't get a chance to get comfortable enuf to pull tricks on the airs, just sketchy, flailing arm ollie airs.   a li'l 0.5 pipe riding, but that didn't go all that great.   i guess i didn't have the motivation to put out enuf energy to really ride the pipe.   well, the day soon ended.   it was raining on us.   we waited a long time outside 4 every1 to get all met up.   we paged supermike over the intercom; they actually asked 4 "supermike."   it took us a long, long time to leave northstar.   we had to wait 4 trams to take us to the furthest part of the lot, where we parked.   leaving the northstar parking lot took 4ever!   ah, i c.   it took 4ever cos chains were required on 267, n' cars were pulling over to chain up.   that was the 1st time i ever got to tell the chain inspector guy, "oh, i have all wheel drive," n' he let me go.   whoa!   that was kewl.   i needed gas, so i had to leave josh n' bernard behind.   on our way back from the gas station, josh called me n' told me to help him cos his car couldn't make it up ridgewood rd.   well, we found him n' led him to an alternate route.   josh didn't drive 4 the remainder of the trip cos he broke a tire cable.   we got back to the cabin.   the other 2 carfuls were all showered n' dressed to go to south lake.   we had to get all showered n' ready.   eventually, we did.   we set a 2 min limit on all showers.   i still had a cold shower.   we took off in our caravan to south lake tahoe.   it took a long-@$$ time!!!   i couldn't believe we actually drove all the way out there 4 dinner n' a li'l gambling.   geez!   i just followed s.mike n' trusted he took the shortest route.   well, i guess he did.   i mean, there's only 2 routes around the lake.   i've gone 'round the way that's longer distancewise.   i wonder if this shorter-distanced route actually takes longer tho'.   i dunno.   neway, our party of 14 split into 2 @ harrah's american river cafe.   ha, we had a good time eating.   we sorta bothered the waitress a lot, asking 4 bread, water, this, n' that.   oh well.   every1 went upstairs, played slots or bj.   the drive home was very hard 4 dave n' me cos we were so tired.

well, plunk! fell asleep.   the next morn, we woke up n' got ready to go to alpine meadows.   s.mike's car left b4 us.   dave's n' my car got to alpine meadows n' the parking lot was full, so we were turned away.   dang, that road there was so slippery!   my car slid, so my passengers n' dave's helped push it back on track.   i wasn't afraid so much of the natural environment as i was of the stoopid, crazy drivers who that they were kewl by passing me while i was trying to back up n' straighten out.   these lame-os in a volvo stationwagon drove by all "ha ha"ish, but they had their chains on the wrong wheels.   losers.   well, we drove off to squaw valley, figuring we got split from s.mike's car.   whadya know! s.mike's car was parked right in front of us.   so they got turned away 2!   good ol' squaw.   well, we had fun there.   the more experienced bunch went off to explore the whole resort n' ride the park/pipe 4 a while.   then we planned a route to meet up w/ the beginners.   we just happened to run into kaela n' brandie on our way, so that made it easier to get the group 2gether.   we boarded/skiied to the bottom, but then, again, the more experienced bunch decided to try to lap the beginners.   dang! we missed them by like 5 mins!   that was fun tho', zooming down the mtn, taking whatever hits n' bumps came my way.   it felt like boarder-x or something.   like u just look 4 the fastest way down, whatever drop off short cuts u can use.   was fun.   neway, it was a much more pleasant day.   blue skies 4 some of it.   it didn't rain.   we didn't have to wait 4 no tram out in the cold.   ah, n' the drive home was easier.   ha, s.mike's car took off 4 home, while the rest of us went shopping 4 dinner @ safeway.   while in safeway, we had the thought of "dang, didn't we just get skrewed over?!   how come we're off buying fud, while they're in the warm cabin, taking hot showers?"   ha, man... brandie was planning to chew them all out.   i sorta felt ok 'bout it 1nce i saw they had shoveled the driveway 4 us.   eh, brandie chewed them out neway, n' we had this lighthearted debate on division of labour, etc.   *sigh*   well, we had a fun nite of fud, drinks, n' crazy polaroids of ppl performing lewd acts in the snow.   *sigh*   ermh! what a crazy bunch, geez!

well, sun morn...   checkout @ 1100a.   we almost missed it.   ppl got up so late.   it was raining; the weather was awful.   we cleaned up, packed up, n' started our journey home.   caravanning has this wagon train feel to it.   k, there were some serious backups on 267.   89 was closed.   @ 1 pt, s.mike n' bernard ran into the hills to pee.   *sigh*   well, the traffic started moving, so joc had to move s.mike's car.   bernard managed to run back to dave's car, but s.mike got stranded in the woods!!!!!   he had to run / hitchhike 3 miles to catch up w/ us!!!   *sigh*   i didn't know he got left behind...   2 bad he didn't bring his fon w/ him to the natural latrine.   c, these memories r 1s to cherish 4 a lifetime!!!   we stopped to eat marie callendar's @ auburn since the mongolian bbq was closed.   there were some serious backups on 80w 'round sactown.   then the rest of the return trip was ok.

girl interrupted @ amc kabuki.   extreme pizza.   i don't eat ny pizza very often.   wow.   we had to patronise that joint!   it had snowboards all over as deco!!!   back to life.

1nce again i'm eager to go snowboarding.   p crew's goin' up to tahoe 2day thru mon.   this is gonna be really fun.   we've been planning this trip 4 a long time.   we sed we'd do 1 winter break trip n' 1 spring break trip.   so this, obviously, is our winter break trip.   ah...   yah, so i'm really eager.   my dad's coming to town this weekend, but i'll be gone.   he told me to drive carefully, n' i will.   really will.   i really don't need nemore car drama!!!   drama, drama, drama.   dramarama.   orange juice; i used to drink lots of orange juice back @ home, when i was kid.   my mom always bought lots of frozen concentrate.   since college n' beyond, i haven't drank as much orange juice, not @ all.   i've noticed many of my friends r 2 lazy to make juice from concentrate, n' just buy the jugs n' cartons.   i fell into that routine now n' then.   these days, i mostly drink water n' sobe.   sobe has lots of vitamin c.   n' yes, i still call it "soh-bay," not "soh-bee," altho' the company insists that it is "soh-bee."   skrew that!   i'll call it whatever i want!   if they wanted me to call it "soh-bee," they shoulda spelt it "s-o-b-i."   all my friends, well most, call it "soh-bay."   i collect sobe bottlecaps.

snowtrip: who's going?   jefflyn1, jefflyn2, sandles1, sandles2, kaela, brandie, josh, supermike, dave, phil, darlene, bernard (blam), peter tsai, n' me.   last nite, p crew had a huge, huge representation @ 168 / 99 ranch mall.   we were supposed to take the hugest neoprint ever, but ppl weren't all really trying to get in the shot.   not 2 well, 'least.   *sigh*   so, yah, it's funny that i can choose what to record in my journal, huh?   'least it's not like edtv or whatever...   it's not like u know my every single move, right?   ha ha.   'member, i sed i can choose to remember only the good stuff in life.   but u know, i can also omit good stuff, huh?   eh, i dunno.

kaela kang is a single gurl.   u can read 'bout that in her journal, i suppose.   but i'm just mentioning this cos i've been telling her, like, 'bout that 6 month rule.   6 months in between relationships, nething less is a rebound.   this is something phil n' i always discussed.   then phil sed something like 'rebounds rn't always bad, they can lead to good relationships.'   hrm...   u know...   i can think of 1 exact case...   [wait, no... maybe 2.]   well, not to say that this couple was a rebound, but they r an absolutely great couple, yet 1 partner had just come out of another relationship.   yah, so it's possible, i guess...   but eh!   it's always ok to beware, right?   hrm...   i'm not sure.   can love be 2 cautious?   s.mike 1nce sed something like 'relationship is [only] an option.   being single is the norm.'   i don't think he really believes that 2 much @ the moment...   i mean, he sed that 2wards the end of his last relationship.   but hrm...

if u really like shakespeare, n' u really like doughnuts, u should open a store called "duncan donuts."   then make lots of $$$ b4 dunkin' donuts sues ur pants off.   yes, sounds like a good bizness plan.

what do u call a group of crows?   a "cackle," right?   u can't say "flock," right?   4 some reasons crows like my office.   there was a cackle of crows just chillin' outside our door.   ha ha.   that's kewl.   so!   cackle...   i finally saw the blair witch project last nite.   christina n' i went over to chals n' sandy's n' cooked dinner 4 ourselves, not 4 them.   funny, huh?   but, eh... we wanted to hang out.   we watched blair witch   then kaela came to join us.   we stopped blair witch to watch the simpsons, the 2nd of the "who shot mr. burns" episodes.   then we finished blair witch, n' i convinced every1 that we should watch fallen angels.   yah, i love that movie.   well, we started watching it, but ppl were tired, so we stopped it.   maybe we'll finish it 2nite.

yah, u know...   life is full of decisions, twists, n' turns.   u can only hope to do what's right n' have fun doing it.   there's no time to settle 4 a less-than-what-u-want life...   i mean... no 1 should feel that life is so painful...   eh, i mean, some things r harder to change than others.   i understand.   but eh...   wherever u can make life better n' more pleasant 4 urself, more meaningful; i guess u ought to do so.   uhm... i don't just guess; i say.   oh yah, so i ended up not going down to san jo w/ sam; he went on his own.   that's how i ended up over @ chals n' sandy's.   i napped 1st.   it was a fun nite.

k, i've hit rock bottom, in that i really don't have nething meaningful to say right now.   no pseudo-deep thoughts.   none.   i wasn't sure whether to call them "pseudo-deep" or "quasi-deep."   which would u prefer to call them?   i was talking on the fon w/ kaela last nite, n' i was sittin' on the living room couch n' could hear ka-thunk! ka-thunk! ka-thunk! ree-ka! ree-ka! ka-thunk! ka-thunk! eminating thru the walls from the studio apt next door.   well, that's nice to know.   i saw that couple in the hallway earlier that evening, on my way out to hayward to pick up christina (melon flavoured ramyun snacks) cos we were gonna go to tri-city, where i bought a new snowboarding jacket n' a new pair of s.boarding pants.   they were so cheap!!!!   whoa...   i was being a really fussy shopper tho', spent a long time there.   it's so kewl to have my car back.   2 bad the body shop failed to apply a new "forester" sticker on the right door.   it's naked.   well, my car's unique.

brandie was telling me that less couples get married these days.   ppl r disillusioned it cms.   ppl don't believe in soulmates.   hrm...   that's 2 bad.   someday, i want to get married, yes.   will i buy a house b4 or after marriage?   eh, whichever.   hrm....   do i not think life thru?   which would i rather do 1st?   i used to think i'd wanna get married 1st, but now i think i've switched.   candy is sometimes good cos candy is usually sweet.   there's an h.o.t. song called "candy."   it's really cute.   yah, i know many of u know it.   (many'd say it's 1 of the most recognised korean pop songs of recent past.)   sam lee's gonna go down to ken's store 2day to buy an lg fon.   i'll go w/.   i think jerome comes back to berkeley 2day.   the snow trip is happening this fri.   all excited.

ugh, i messed up again!   i wrote "1999," instead of "2000"!   nuts.   yah, really; what do u think we'll call this decade?   what did they call it in the 1900s?   "turn of the century," right?   so it's "the turn of the century" once again, right?   80s, 90s, n' turn of the century.   hrm...   maybe it works.   so!   i got my car back last nite!   yah!!!!   after work, i drove down to san jo w/ christina.   we hung out @ the great mall 4 a while cos i thought ken sed he couldn't meet me till later, but actually i was mistaken.   neway, christina wanted to shop @ old navy n' did so 4 quite a while.   then we went to ken's store; i saw my car.   wow!   it was so shiny!!!!   the sight made me really happy.   wow, it's never looked better, it cms.   so we went into ken's store.   ken had ordered some round table pizza.   christina n' i went to go pick it up.   k, the cashier semi-jokingly offered to sell us an additional pizza @ 1/2 price, 1 that had been ordered but not picked up.   it was a very tasty looking pizza!   had ham, bacon, green onions, thick crust...   i had no clue what ken had ordered n' wanted just to figure out what was going on, but christina was all hyped up 'bout this special pizza n' tss...   she was really funny!   kept haggling w/ this cashier... i mean, jokingly... till he gave us the extra pizza 4 10 bucks n' threw in free drinks.   tsss...   ha ha.   well, the cashier n' the other round table employees had a good laff.   i dunno...   christina...   she's really funny.   neway, we went back to ken's store, sat in the back, ate tons n' tons n' tons of pizza.   corona.   oh yah, so we had to explain to ken how come we had 2 pizzas instead of just the 1 he ordered.   ha, sheesh.   i sed i'd let christina explain.   we watched never been kissed again on ken's carded dss.   eh, then we went home.

ah, life, life life.   i just rattled off another list.   oh well.   well, what's new?   it's raining quite well in corte madera.   it's really windy 2.   snow, snow, snow!   snow, snow, snow!   k, this is a quickie.   if i have time later, i'll add more.

catching up with depeched mode is the depeche mode singles collection from 1981-1986, right?   [actually, maybe it was the singles collection from 81-85.]   the 1 new song on catching up is "fly on the windscreen," right?   correct me if i'm wrong.   well, i'm at the tail end of the race @ this moment.   this weekend, all the other on-line journalists posted entries, not me...   well, carol, kaela, jerome, n' chals did.   i'm lagging.   i don't have net access from home right now!   i did, however, access the net from andy's place on sun morning.   actually, i used jerome's computer n' han's netzero acct.   (han is jerome's cousin, u know, right?)   so it's been a weekend, hasn't it?   ah, weekend.   yes.   they come after fri n' b4 mon.   gotta luv 'em.   heh heh, i'm just stalling the inevitable spew, the rattling off of events.   rn't u sick of me?   u could read their journals n' figure out what i did this weekend, right?   right.   k, i'll continue to delay.   yo, whashup, i wanna give mah shout out to mah homey bernard lam, b.lam, blammo.   yo, whasshup, b.man.   tell yo friends to call u b.love n' special sauce, yo.   bernard has his own webpage: bernard lam's web page.   i know there's not much there yet; but i figure if i advertise the url, that'll put pressure on him to get to work, make his webpage all pretty.   that's what i figure.   what else is he gonna do?   he's in berkeley now, but i don't think he has work, n' he don't got not skool right now...   so he might as well work on his webpage, right?   right.

i don't mind not having net access from home.   i think it's a good thing 4 now.   as much as i want to chat w/ certain ppl on-line n' miss doing so, i'm getting other stuff done, i think.   i cleaned up my bathroom n' sorta made my bedroom less of a mess this weekend.   look how productive life can be when u'r not downloading pics of sung-hi lee!   ha ha ha.   k, since we're on the topic, n' as supermike's punishment 4 not reading my journal, lemme share w/ u something from a letter i wrote to rosacho about my weekend down in la:

"so we're in this chinese dvd store.   there's cute chicks there, but s.mike wants to stand in the porno section n' emphatically talk 'bout how we can buy every single porno vcd there, copy them, n' sell them 4 profit up @ berkeley...   man...   i dunno...   i just feel that decreased my chances of 1 of them cute chickies comin' up to me, dropping her copy of titanic, my picking it up 4 her, n' her saying, "oh, thanks.   hey, don't i know u from berkeley?", n' my replying, "uhm...   i don't think so," n' her saying, "oh whoops...   me n' all my cute gurly friends r always stalkin' u n' talkin' 'bout how much we want to jump u, but u don't know us.   hi, my name is..."   that's the encounter i would've rather had.   instead, we stood in front of a wall full of porno vcds as s.mike researched each 1 thoroughly, working out a business plan.   *sigh*"

the preceding passage was slightly grammatically editted.

so that happened a long time ago as 4 as far as my timescale goes, right?   this weekend...   u wanna know what happened this weekend...   *sigh*   ok.   fri nite, after talking to kaela 'bout some stuff on the fon, after cleaning my bathroom, n' sorta cleaning my room, i went out to dinner w/ josh.   we went to kirala, the e.bay's most critically acclaimed japanese restaurant.   i've talked 'bout kirala b4.   it's always so crowded.   vince g. was the 1st 1 to introduce me to kirala.   it was crowded.   josh put his name down, we went to any mountain 4 a while.   it closed.   we went back to kirala, sat @ the bar next to some single women who were way 2 old 4 us...   not that we were planning on hitting on them or nething...   i just mention it cos... well, i know this sounds mean, but i don't mean it to be mean @ all...   they just looked like the singles bar type.   eh, i guess that sounds mean, but i really don't intend to be mean.   basically, i don't mean it in a bad way!   not that i wanted to get w/ them...   ha ha, basically, don't try to infer nething from my saying that, k?   neway, most of the ppl @ the bar were couples, mostly 30-something couples on dates.   come to think of it...   as much as i keep saying that i don't need a gf, i don't need to settle down w/ a gurl, this n' that...   i guess i wouldn't want to be 2 much of a 30-something, desperate single guy, huh?   hrm...   i dunno.   well, then again, 30-something, desperate single guys could often be the product of a failed marriage, a divorce, not just simply 30-something, desperate single guys, huh?   ok, i guess so.   so where was i?   oh, so we went to kirala...   bar...   asahi.   caterpillar roll.   k, we got a table.   unfiltered sake, ever had that?   i guess it's like korean makgoli.   we ordered a lot of fud.   whoa.   well, what a nice guy!   josh treated me to dinner!   thanks, josh.   then we went to blockbuster n' rented supercop 2 n' black mask.   we watched supercop 2, but i fell asleep during it.   i was really tired.   i didn't fall asleep on acct of the movie, no.

the next morn, i woke up not 2 late.   i think i cleaned my room a li'l more.   do u get why i was cleaning my room?   i was looking 4 my kuhbook necklace!   well, i didn't find it while cleaning my room, no.   that morning, i got ready to copy jerome's jo sung mo cd.   then carol showed up.   ha, she called while i was in the shower.   i had my cellfon in the bathroom, so i went to pick it up.   eh, i do that kind of stuff.   i even have talked on the fon while in the shower b4.   well, sorta.   it's usually when i have some 3-way call going on, n' i put the fon somewhere near the shower n' let the 2 other ppl talk, then they can hear my singing in the background.   (i sed "singing," not "sinning"!)   carol got to my place.   hrm.   i remember some sort of delay 'bout getting to lunch, i 4get what...   i think we had to get gas or something 2.   she drove her civic ex.   we went to 168.   i guess u could read 'bout 168 on her journal, huh?   after lunch, we went to 99 to buy a bunch of applesidra.   i wanted liquid cos i'm sick.   i looked 'round 4 other stuff, but didn't c nething of extreme interest.   so we took of 4 sf.   actually, i don't think she mentioned that we went to sf fashion centre and stonestown galleria.   she had never been in the big old navy there.   yah, i made some purchases at old navy n' club monoco.   sometimes u need clothes.   it's as easy as that.   ha!   so now u can read 'bout my day in kaela's journal!   i ran into kaela n' her bf long @ victoria's secret.   yah, actually, i thought i saw long 1st on my way up the escalator to nordstrom's to use the bathroom.   2 much applesidra, u c.   i met back w/ carol @ j. crew, where we had earlier cn alice chan, laura's li'l sis...   unh, i don't think i'm supposed to keep calling her that; i'm sure she don't like that.   neway, carol always sed she'd show me what a brallette is.   so she showed me 1, i think.   i told her that was good that she showed me so the next time a gurl tells me to take off her brallette, i'll know what to do.   oh, so that's 'bout the time we ran into kaela n' her fistful of frilly stuff.   underwear...   yah, it's good to wear underwear.   what's good 'bout wearing good-looking underwear?   well, if u've got some1 to c u in it, i suppose.   also, i guess it's good to be dressed nice right down to the skin or whatever.   eh, i dunno.   well, guys wear baggy jeans n' their underwear shows.   sometimes jeans have holes in them n' underwear shows.   sometimes gurls wear baggy jeans n' underwear shows.   i'm all 4 boxer briefs cos they provide support n' they keep ur thighs warm.... sorta.   unh!   can u believe that 3 on.line journalists were standing right there n' this trip to vicky's secret coulda been recorded 3 times?   'cept carol didn't find it worthy of reporting.   oh well.   i laffed @ the idea that i coulda introduced carol to kaela as "carol of carol's on-line jams fame."   well, 'least i didn't say, "hey kaela, meet the on-line journalist formerly known as critical carol."   sf fashion centre was crowded.   we had to park in the mission st. / metreon lot, not the ellis / o'farrell 1.   crazy, huh?   then we went to stonestown galleria, getting lost on the way.   that mall was also crowded.   i'll tell u, tho', the crowd's diff there.   younger ppl.   hrm... i've got 2 much gel in my hair 2day; yuck.   i need to buy some more gel.   i bought some useful things @ lechters there.   i pronounce it "lechers" cos it's such a lecherous place.   i told carol, "i don't understand why this store's in malls.   it's 2 utilitarian...   i mean u don't c grocery stores in malls..."   then we realise that we sometimes do.   eh, that's sometimes!   lechters r pretty common.   purchased: tie rack hanger n' plastic, adhesive hooks.   i used 1 hook to hang up my blow dryer in my bathroom, on the wall, keeps it out of the way when i'm not using it.   so we finished our day of shopping, n' carol had to meet some friends.   she was late.   u can read 'bout that part of her day in her own journal.   she dropped me off n' left her w/ the remaining applesidra.   let's c if she gets hooked.   i love the packaging.   it's so simplistic, as if it were government issued; army surplus or something...

i got home.   i decided to watch supercop 2 n' eat cereal out of the box.   (jigum, bap uhpsuh.   mayo fan.)   shoot, i had accidentally recorded the jo sung mo cd as a data cd!   now i got .wav files of it on a cd-rom.   *sigh* that doesn't do me a whole lotta good.   so i was gonna start over, but i figured i'd fill the extra time on the cd w/ yangpa songs.   they're both pretty balladish singers.   i started watching supercop 2, then rosa called n' asked what's up.   i told her to come over n' watch the videos, so she did.   that martin character in supercop 2 looks like han!   this movie is part of the police story series.   it only has jackie chan in it 4 a small scene.   jackie chan's really funny in that scene!   yes, i liked this movie.   then we watched black mask.   who the heck sed it sucked?!   s.mike?!   it was hellagood, if i may use that term.   if i may not, then it was a very enjoyable film.   it's very comic-book-ish, but that's fine, very fine by me.   i don't get what's not good 'bout it.   c'mon, s.mike! it even had this bondage, s&m chick!   what's ur prob?!   oh... maybe it wasn't s.mike who didn't like it...   well, some ppl, when it was released in the us, made a big stink 'bout not wanting to go c it cos they had already cn it in chinese or sed dumb stuff like "oh, that's an old movie" even tho' they hadn't cn it yet.   actually, it's not that old.   why do i think jet li looks like jo sung mo?   prob'ly just the haircut.   well, they're both kinda prettyboyish, rn't they?   well, all the gurlies like both of them, so whatever.   after the videos, i went straight to sleep.

i woke up pretty early.   *sigh*   i pondered the idea of following up on my new yr's semi-resolution n' going to church.   what happened instead?   i bummed 'round, sorta cleaned more, sorta watched tv, sorta did maintenance on my snowboard...   that's when i found my turtle necklace!   i don't remember why i put it by the dirt devil in the living room.   linda called me, telling me the omaha ppl had just gotten to oak airport.   she wanted me to get the wurd out to go to koko house @ 700p to celebrate jason han's making it to the nat'l collegiate team (he's off to taiwan 4 world collegiates.) n' his b.day!   i called andy wang n' asked if i could go over n' use his 'puter n' net connection since i'm net dead.   i went over, used jerome's 'puter, as i mentioned b4.   nice guy andy served me hot apple cider n' a costco chocochip cookie.   after using the 'puter, i went home, finished doing my laundry, which i started just b4 going over.   i called up chals.   christina paged me, since she was also back from omaha now.   chals n' i drove ken's li'l geo out to hayward, picked up christina n' went back north to richmond costco.   we ate some costco snackbar food n' shopped, using toby's pictureless costco card.   we made a quick trip to party safeway afterwards.   then we dropped off chals.   christina n' i went back to my place to rest until koko house.   (andy wang, christina, deanna, linda, her bf rick, brandie, darlene, bernard, jason, derrick, n' his gf kay [koko house waitress], n' josh... oh, n' me!)   ah, dd me.   1 strawberry soju n' 1 maekju @ the beginning of the evening, n' that's all.   lots of good food tho'.   we hung out there 4 a long time, then we went to andronico's to get some party stuff (i bought a drive sobe.   'member drive n' eros?), dropped off ken's geo in my garage, n' went over to kay's place in el cerrito.   we had mini aidell's chicken-apple sausages.   argh, now w/o linda n' rick, i was the responsible adult in the group.   *sigh*   well, me n' christina left early.   actually, she was playing responsible adult 2.   josh... he wasn't home this morning.

i didn't mention 168 on thurs eve, huh?   it was good to hang w/ dave after not cing him 4 a while.   i got to drive jeff n' brandie in the geo w/ the kewl stereo.   (jeff, brandie, dave, s.mike, kaela)

i just went pee.   yes, u needed to know that.   there's this computer game that's sorta spreading via internet à la folklore.   it's some "urinal game" thingy...   u'r given a picture of a men's bathroom, a situation w/ guys standing @ urinals, n' u gotta pick the right urinal to use.   u know the rules, right?   don't stand next to another guy.   in fact, take the urinal furthest away from ne other guy, if u can, right?   well neway, this bathroom has only 2 urinals, n' there was already a guy standing @ 1.   tss, usually, i'd just go use the other urinal.   hrm, but i felt like i ought to be courteous 2day, so i went n' peed in the stall, in the toilet.   that's a waste of water.   well, i used the toilet, then i figured i'd wait 4 this dude to leave the bathroom b4 coming out to wash my hands.   frick, he took 4ever to dry his hands, so i just went out.   n' that was right b4 he left.   hrm...   was he like waiting, taking extra long to dry his hands to c what kinda freak needs to use the stall to go pee???   only freaks like supermike.   ha ha ha.   k, so worldview dictates that i'm not allowed to use the urinal next to another guy but neither am i allowed to go pee in a stall.   frick, so where do i pee?   fine, i'll just go pee in the sink or on the wall!   gurls can pee standing up.   i haven't cn this 1sthand, unlike supermike, but i'll believe it.   look @ 2day's entry title.   if u read it ('least just the last wurd) 2 fast, u'll think i'm complimenting a pair of breasts, huh?   k, must i be vulgar?   no.   i can be civil.

let's talk again 4 a sec 'bout elevator, office-building talk.   u know, u should be friendly when passing a professional-type stranger, right?   u say, "hi," n' smile, right?   right.   i say good morning to the toll booth worker every morn.   2day, i'm sick still.   i didn't make much of an effort to say good morning.   i did try, but nothing came out, n' i didn't worry.

josh wants me n' rosa to go to nv this sat to c sam sa tend bar.   yah, maybe but only if i'm not sick, only if i'm in town.   i think internet retail is a good thing.   ha ha.   i just reread what i wrote on 01 june, 1999, in "pretty / unpretty."   i'm looking @ the end of the 3rd paragraph.   dude, our apt needs rice.   just so u know...   i'm hungry.   what's 4 lunch?   i don't know.   something hot n' soupy?   that's hard to find here.   i need to cook more.   then i could bring lunches 2.   k, where should i go?   i kinda wanna go to the mall.   it's friday.   ah, i haven't listened to "friday, i'm in love" in a while.   ken's geo has a loud stereo but no cd deck.   i've been listen to radio.   oh, u heard 'bout the best buy / msn thing, right?   well, ken sed it's cancelled now.   i didn't get my free $400 worth of electronics.   dang.

... k, this is where i'm supposed to continue that thought that i started in cafe chulho.   u know, now i really don't feel like talkin' 'bout it nemore.   chals, maybe we should trade journals 4 a while!   i feel more com4table writing in cafe chulho than the beno journal as of late.   ugh, sorry.   no, that's poor housekeeping, n' i'm being a poor host.   well, @ least a bad, financially com4table host...   neway, i'll talk.   we were discussing women getting things done 4 them by guys strictly cos guys think thes gurls r hot.   i went on to discuss 1 of my favourite quotes: "il y a deux choses sans limite: la feminité et les moyens de l'abusée."   u've heard that over n' over 'gain from me.   i know.   i've cn this happen all the time!   so much.   as a guy, i don't feel bitter or nething.   i can imagine some nerdy, anal guy could feel bitter that that gurl in engineering 77 (e77) went 'round getting hws/labs from all the guys.   hrm...   i don't feel bitter.   if a gurl can get away w/ that, more power to her, i suppose.   whuh?   i never go 'round saying "more power to...blah blah."   i don't like that phrase, do i?   i don't think i do.   neway... well, i'm sure lots of gurls frown upon that kind of behaviour.   yah, i can imagine that.   k, it isn't very feminist some would say, huh?   i dunno, i think women should empower themselves, n' do so by most means necessary.   frick, uh, why did i say "most means"?   i coulda sed "all means," i suppose.   "i think internet retail is a good thing."   ha ha.   nah, it's not that i'm afraid of making a strong pt., no!   there r some bad ways of gaining power; that's all i'm saying.   such bad methods include: selling ur soul to the devil n' actual "sleeping" around w/ men in high positions such as ur professors n' math/chemistry teachers for whom u babysit.   no, i don't like that "i'll letchu touch my butt" way of getting things.   *sigh*   k, n' some gurls can be really flirty n' hrm... is that good?   i alway sed "charming" a guy is fair game.   do u know what i mean by that?   hrm...   i don't know actually...   i don't know where to draw the line btwn charming n' flirting.   i'm not a gurl.   if i think that if i had a gf n' she were getting guys to do things 4 her by charming them, i'd commend that n' appreciate that.   if other guys find ur gf attractive, u should feel good.   insecure guys get all jealous n' possessive, yah.   cocky guys get all turned on by it.   so which is beno?   ha ha, yah, right!   i don't have a gf!!!   tssss...

neway, tune into cafe chulho; it's got some really interesting discussions as of late.   not to say i'm the 1 making it such a great place, but i feel more com4table writing there than here lately.   sad, huh?   no, i'll be true to u.   i'll do better.   i'll make it up to u, baby.

blink 182.   u want the lyrics to this song?   check 'em out: "what's my age again?"   it's such trendy, alternarock, postgrunge stuff, huh?   like eve6 last yr or sublime b4 that or sugar ray, etc., right?   it's stuff i might listen to on the way up to tahoe, right?   hrm... u think it describes my situation?   i sed i'd mellow out this yr, right?   ha ha!

last nite, after work, i rested up, since i felt so under-the-weather all day.   later, some of us went out to koko house to celebrate brandie's n' linda's burthdays.   we gave brandie a rice cooker.   she's been wanting 1 4 a while i know.   the koko house staff sprayed them w/ a bottle of champagne each.   the big guy waiter's name is huey.   the waitress's name is kay.   so that's derrick's gf!   ha, we were all commenting how the decor n' clientele of koko house had changed.   less asian punks...   ha, cos winter break?   christmas n' new yr's decorations.   so we had fun celebrating burthdays. derrick, chals, josh, kaela, me, n' the burthday gurls were in attendance.   afterwards, the burthday gurls left (linda's off to omaha 2day, brandie 2morrow), but the rest of us went to noraebang 4 a while @ derrick's workplace nrb.   fun, yes.

maybe my car'll be done 2morrow, maybe not.   if it is, i'll go home to san jo.   if not, eh, prob'ly not.   we'll c.   i really could do some housekeeping up @ berkeley.   chill, chill, chill.   mellow out.   breathe in, breathe out.   that's what i'll do this weekend, right?   clean house n' chill.   we'll c.   *sigh*   am i out of things to talk 'bout?   well, 'least i didn't rattle of events, right?   i quickly summarised.   this entry cms so short.   isn't there nething i wanna talk 'bout?   geez, i brought up a topic w/ that whole "what's my age again?" title n' intro.   shall i elaborate?   nah, it's ok; not right now.   this morn, i used 4 hrs of time off to take christina to sfo.   it was also good to sleep in a li'l since i'm sick right now.   how's that 4 rattling off events?

a while ago, i wrote that i wanted to talk 'bout something but couldn't remember.   (please c "dizzkneeland" on 30 december, 1999.)   i remember now.   k, on christmas nite, i was sitting in ken's silver m3 w/ josh n' rosa, waiting in queue @ the almaden expressway j.box.   we saw this car in front of us.   i think 'twas a silver toyota tercel, but i 4get.   it had tinted windows, n' on the rear windshield it had a big, big decal, a vinyl, cut-out window decal that sed something like "star," n' had an 888 fon number.   ken was thinking, "i wonder what that company does," or something like that.   he tried to call the 888 number.   it was busy.   we were thinking how, if we called, the person in the car right in front of us'd answer.   i tried after ken.   a kid w/ an accent answered, saying "star records."   i played dumb n' sed something like, "uh, what did i just call?"   the kid sed i had to talk to his uncle.   i asked again, n' the uncle, w/ an indian accent, sed i had reached star records, a recording company.   ah...   "oh, sorry, i guess i got the wrong number."   he was really polite, n' i commend him 4 that.   i appreciate that.   ha, funny, tho', huh?   why do ppl put a huge advert on the back of their car, give out their number, but not say nething 'bout what their company does?   the line @ j.box was long.   they have this kewl system, when u order.   u tell the cashier what u want, n' ur order pops up on an lcd screen 4 u to check.   kewl.   i had never cn that b4, but josh insisted that all j.boxes had them.   oh, ok.   the last time i went to j.box in berkeley/oaktown was to pick up fud 4 s.mike stuck in lab.   rosa was w/ me.

brandie.   thanks brandie, 4 responding to my last journal entry.   yay!   so brandie's going off to omaha w/ the rest of them.   i'm bringing christina to sfo 2morrow morn.   dang, i sure have cn a lot of that place lately, huh?   sfo, sfo, sfo.   the traffic there sucks.   lax traffic sucks 2.   yes, brandie should start her own webpage n' make a "brandie journal."   don'tchu think?   owen's puppy's name is truffie, w/ an "ie."   "brandie" is spelled an "ie," not a "y."   don't 4get that.   so i'm a li'l under the weather 2day.   what if, when i grow up, i just become a househusband, huh?   just stay @ home n' take care of the kids, run errands, go to target, buy mops n' sponges, prepare dinner, chat w/ the mail lady, take the car in 4 service...   i saw a pile-up accident on the richmond bridge 2day, this morning.   i saw a very smashed up forester, worse than my big accident.   it was sad to c such a smashed up forester, a silver 1.   the 3 smashed up cars were a subaru forester, an old volvo 240-series stationwagon, n' some old, japanese compact.   volvo stationwagons n' subarus r so popular in norcal, 'specially in berkeley.   i commented to s.mike that la has no subarus.   yah, true.   i had a mellow nite last nite.   stayed @ home, napped, woke up, felt sicker.   christina came over, n' we "chilled," (as the young'uns say).   i still can't find my kuhbuk necklace.   this is upsetting.   this is a shorty, once again.

p.s. u know, yesterday, i broke the key to ken's geo in the driver side door lock.   argh.   but i managed to pull the broken piece out 2day n' made 2 copies @ osh.   u know, i didn't have to mention this.   isn't it funny how i can choose to remember the good things in life or the bad things in life?   i wonder what things happened in my life that i didn't record in my journal and which i've 4gotten.   did i use "which" correctly there?

did u notice i wrote "03, january, 1999" yesterday?   i just appended to that 2day.   erm, sore throat.   last nite, i met up w/ loyal reader liane.   yes, i do follow thru on my spider roll promises, but she wanted caterpillars instead of spiders.   fine by me.   k, u know...   augh! déja vu!   oh, no!   glitch in the matrix!   they're downloading something, a change!   neway, k, u know, u read carol's latest entry?

"such domesticated activities for a happening party goer such as beno, huh?"

*sigh*   u know?   i'm almost resolving to mellow out this yr.   sorta settle down.   no!   i'm not resolving to get a gf.   u know i'm not that silly!   nor am i supermike.   maybe i should rest more, clean my room more...   ah, carol almost resolves to go to church this yr.   chals n' i have talked 'bout going back to church.   what's so un-beno 'bout making pooh bear ornaments?   *sigh*   is it safe to say that i feel that something big's gonna change in my life this yr?   tsss...   something big changes in every1's life, every yr, right?   erm...   i dunno.   why would i say something like that?   maybe it's slight winter depression, which i have managed to avoid pretty well this winter.   u notice that?   winter depression didn't really get to me this yr...   uh, not yet, 'least.   *sigh*   well, 2day's journal entry is short n' sweet.   i haven't had a short journal entry in ages, but 2day's'll be just that.   okie dokie?   have u heard "okie dokie artichokie" lately?   i haven't.   i'm getting used to hearing "alrighty... alrighty..."   hearing it, not saying it.

happy new yr!   happy new century!   no, no happy new millenium, not till next yr.   i'm an educated fool.   i know better than to say that.   so yes, i really did spend new year's eve in disneyland.   really did.   ah, what a jolly, ol' time in la!   on thurs, last thurs, 30 dec, kaela picked me up from my apt n' drove me to sfo.   what a swell gal!   thanks, kaela.   ah, it's so much fun to travel, even if it's just to socal.   i had to go thru all them metal detectors n' stuff, n' my bags had to go thru the x.ray.   kewl!   airports r kewl.   i dunno, i had fun @ them.   so i flew united, got my complimentary 7up n' pretzel n' cheese cracker mix.   what?!   such a small bag!   where did they find such small bags of pretzel n' cheese cracker mix?!   oh well...   i got to lax, pretty much on time, 'round 830p.   supermike, 1 swell guy, was gonna pick me up, n' i was supposed to call him on my cell.   cell fons r indeed very useful, n' i do believe they r good 4 modern society.   sorry, but yah.   wow, lax traffic is very confusing!   very!   (socal was much colder than i expected!!!)   eventually, mike found me.   well, no, it wasn't 2 hard 4 him, but there was a lot of traffic.   i don't think he had to circle 'round @ all.   the rendezvous happened right on time, pretty much, u know?   ah, s.mike!   he shaved his head alright.   what a pal! picking me up from lax.   we discussed how domestic flight flight attendants just rn't as uh... well, attractive as int'l flight flight attendants.   how does that management process go 'bout?   i mean, u can't just go 'round moving flight attendants from flight to flight cos of their looks, right?   i mean, there mustn't be ne official company policies, right?   it must just happen socially.   like the pretty stewardesses (on the int'l flights) must be all mean n' snobby to the not-so-pretty (the unpretty) stewardesses, huh?   that must be how it works.   i dunno.   well, s.mike picked me up in his black civic n' we were off on the la highways.   we got to his neck of the woods.   we weren't sure if we'd eat or meet up w/ chals n' sandy or what.   sandy was sick n' didn't want to go out, so we went over to her place.   i think we got gas 1st.   chals was there, altho' he ended up missing his intended flight n' taking a later 1.   (well, he can tell u 'bout it in his own journal!)   we met sorta sandy's family n' discussed our plans 4 disneyland the next day.   then we left sandles (sandy + charles = sandles.   u know that, right?)   we went to eat @ shao mei, this 168-ish place that's got more of a fast-food environment, cheaper prices, larger portions, n' more trendy n/or trashy asian teens n' young adults hangin' 'round.   oh, i don't mean to say that in a bad way.   u know what i mean, right?   what i mean, by so describing the clientele there is that there r pretty hip ppl there, along w/ ur usual dose of asian thugs.   not to say they ain't hip or nething...   wow....   so this is la life!   wow.   s.mike gave me a tour of the rosemead/san gabriel/alhambra/montery park asian scene.   he showed me the big 99 ranch fortress in san gabriel (i think).   we went into some other asian mall n' looked @ a bookstore n' the mall.   it had li'l stores, li'l gift shops, arranged like some of those hk malls w/ li'l shops.   he drove 'round n' 'round; then we finally went to his house.   i used his bucket shower.   i met his family (mom, dad, n' sister... didn't meet his married bro).   we slept in the family room.

k, new yr's eve.   we woke up.   sandy n' chals were supposed to call s.mike's cell, but they only had his old number.   we eventually just drove over to sandy's house.   k, honestly, we were lazy bums, we coulda done that a lot sooner, but instead just kept waiting 4 them to call us.   lazy bums, huh?   n' we jeopardised our chances of going to the overcrowded disneyland!   we r bad.   well...   tsss... we kept telling each other, "eh, they're prob'ly...." u know...   k, neway, we went to disneyland.   aaaagh!   it was raining!   whah?!   nooo!   but yes.   we tried to wait out the rain in s.mike's car, but it wasn't gonna happen.   s.mike didn't have an umbrella, but we used his car sunshade as 1.   we kept bringing it out thruout the day.   so we parked in section 18d in the pinnochio lot.   (i say that just to mock my own tendency to record detail to ridculous extents.)   there were lots of hs bands there 4 the rose parade.   there were a lot of stanfurd ppl 2, 4 the rose bowl.   the park was so crowded, it was raining, n' ppl had such bad attitude!   lots of grouchy ppl.   s.mike sed they were all terrorists.   ha ha.   whoa, no security check @ the front gate, no metal detactors, no bag checks!   whuh?!   we coulda brought in champagne!   we wanted to but didn't wanna get in trouble...   oh well.   disneyland...   ah...   'twas kewl to be @ "the happiest place on earth."   the scenery is kewl!

i had a stomach ache.   oh yah, s.mike n' i ate some burmese noodles 4 breakfast.   that kind of fud 2 early in the morn can upset my stomach.   i had to go to the bathroom w/ s.mike while sandles went on star tours.   crowded park; we went on only a few rides that day: pirates of the caribbean, thunder mountain railroad (2x cos it broke down in the middle, so the let us go again to appease us), honey, i shrunk the audience, splash/flash mountain, it's a small world (w/ the "it's a small world"/"jingle bells" medley), rocket rods, n' space mtn.   7 rides.   we ate a lot tho'.   eh, i just liked the disneyland environment.   oh! s.mike n' i also went on indiana jones, so that's 8 rides!   k, yah... there was lots of "chickie" watching... tsss...   that's what sandy kept calling them.   "chickies @ 3 o'clock! 6'oclock!"   i was wondering how those really dressed up asian chicks could go on rides like spash mtn.   i guess they didn't.

we were all hyped up to c the semi-indy rock band luna, the 1 that no1's ever heard of, but their song "california" got used 4 a ck ad on tv, the 1 rosalyne liked so much back in 94/95/etc.   instead we saw some disneyland coverband named luna.   luna, cos they play in tomorrowland... get it?   like moonlanding n' all.   they had buzz lightyr dance w/ them.   i was confused.   we stayed 4 a few songs.   uh, we were in the front row, in the center.   upes.   how were we to duck out w/o hurting their feelings?   ha ha.   they started playing some electric slide song, n' the country line dance ppl in the audience were gonna dance, so we ducked out then.   phew!   so...   the day was spent waiting in line, standing in rain, walking w/ a sunshade over our heads, eating random fud from disneyland restaurants n' fudkarts, hangin' out indoors to avoid rain, going to the bathroom...   hey, we had fun, no prob!   we didn't have grouchy, terrorist attitude.   well, evening came, we wanted to party in the hippest place, so we went to the "it's a small world" dance party w/ the lousy deejay.

we met 3 japanese gurls: satomi, shoko n' izumi.   they were kind enuf to dance w/ us (well, since me n' s.mike don't have sandy.) n' hang out w/ us, n' even go w/ us to space mtn w/ us.   so i got a chance to practice my awful japanese, which i haven't used in ages.   wow.   u know, i took japanese in hs my senior yr.   i didn't study that hard 4 that class cos i was already accepted to berkeley n' didn't need to worry 'bout my grades.   so satomi's a 22 yr old, hairdresser from hokkaido visiting northridge 4 3 months.   agh, she wanted to hear me speak more japanese.   i was so embarassed.   but eh, it was fun.   wow, what a day.   so yah, new year's happened.   fireworks n' all.   wow!   *sigh*   a new century.   it all started w/o ne complications, no terrorist attacks, no bombs, no armageddon, no invading russians (that's s.mike's thing.), no mass orgy, no riots, no crazy machinegun ppl...   nothing.   wow.   it felt really kewl standing there in front of it's a small world w/ a big crowd watching some of the best fireworks i've ever cn.   wow.   wow...

k, so sat was new yr's day.   s.mike n' i slept in, but not as much as sandles, not as much as we could have, i suppose.   (we tried to pick up sandles, but they were still asleep, so we talked to sandy's dad a while 'bout his chemical engineering job.)   we went out 4 lunch @ this seafood hotpot place in the gargantuan 99 ranch fortress.   the place was cheap, it had lots of fud, but it was really nasty!   it was still their "grand opening," n' they had an "a" rating, but the place was filthy!   yuck.   we wandered 'round the 99 ranch fortress 4 a while, looking @ all sorts of kewl stuff.   then sandles called us n' we went over.   wow, the whole afternoon had passed.   we hung out there n' played mariokart 64.   s.mike n' i tried to push penguins off the ice cliffs, kept trying.   why not act stoopid?

k, so we eventually left sandy's house, picked up her friend miwa, n' well... i was now king, being the 1st time guest to la.   i demanded that we go to the vietnamese café that s.mike used to go to, across the street from the used car dealership he used to work 4.   he sed the café was full of vietnamese gangsters n' was actually a brothel.   k, u know i wasn't out to patronise a brothel, but i really wanted to c if he had proof to say this.   so we went.   it was like those korean hofs that we go to, 'cept they play vietnamese musik n' serve vietnamese drinks instead of korean fud n' drinks.   it was dark, n' there was loud musik going on.   yah, the clientele was sorta interesting cos it was all a bunch of guys, mostly sorta young, sittin' 'round playing some sort of mahjong-looking game or else some sort of card/poker videogames.   they all sat in the front, but we were taken to this room in the back that had a couple of tvs: 1 w/ college futbol, the other w/ lost world.   there were no english menus, just a vietnamese 1, n' i think it only had drinks.   even tho' we were just gonna order drinks, the waitress brought us tea also.   ok, that's a lot of liquid.   s.mike n' i had durian shakes, sandles n' miwa had iced coffee.   so where to, king beno?   i had the choice of universal citywalk or 3rd street promenade.   i didn't really understand what these places were, but i chose citywalk.   we went.   a bunch of novelty shops.   oh, ok.

chals n' i discussed the asian eye contact thingy that i read 'bout in some humor article in some uc berkeley newspaper.   chals: "i bet if u look @ that gurl, w/in 15 seconds she'll look over..." beno: (interruptingly) "uh, yah, she just did."   nelson discussed that eye contact thingy when he visited berkeley.   it's not something i talked 'bout much b4, but i think theory is just that young asians @ berkeley (n' i guess @ citywalk) gotta always check each other out; like it's a rule.   tsss...   i dunno.

well, 'twas a cold nite, we got sick of citywalk, didn't want to watch a movie, didn't wanna do that virtual reality ride thingy...   we left n' went to look 4 buster's café in pasadena, but didn't find it.   instead we found plenty of trash from the rose parade.   the streets were nasty.   we didn't get out of the car; we were just driving, looking 4 buster's.   well, we left pasadena n' went back to alhambra/monterey park n' went to regent café, a chinese café.   apparently, these things r really popular in this area.   wow.   it's sorta like abc café in oakland chinatown but much, much, much nicer.   i'm just saying the menu is similar.   i was surprised to c so much of an older crowd there so late.   wow.   well, we were so tired.   we chatted n' had our fud n' drinks.   s.mike needed to drive me back to lax to catch my 700a flight back to sfo.   we took a quick nap, nothing like a good nite's sleep, but all we could do.   we went to lax.   s.mike dropped me off n' i was on my way back.   i fell asleep on the plane.   i never got my complimentary 7up nor whatever pretzel n' cheese cracker mix they would've given me.   that'd been my prize 4 staying awake, huh?   oh well, i lose.   well, brandie (what a swell gal!) picked me up from sfo.   she showed me her new car cd deck.   kewl.   she dropped me off, i went up to my apt.   josh wasn't home from las vegas yet.   i showered, called christina as i was supposed to, talked a li'l.   she was asleep neway, so i told her i'd take a nap 4 a while n' go over @ noon.   she called me back a li'l b4 that, woke me up, n' i got ready to go over.

so we hung out @ her place 4 a while, ate kimchi jjigae n' stuff, went to walgreen's to get her passport pics 4 her collegiate team trials application, n' then took off to san jo.   i had to meet up w/ ken to trade cars cos he's gonna bring mine to the body shop.   we also wanted to use his computer to buy christina a plane ticket to omaha.   i showed christina my house n' neighbourhood then we met up w/ ken @ wasabi @ main st. strip mall, which isn't on main st., but on the corner of blossom hill n' santa teresa.   ken ate, i bought some so-so cali rolls.   ken went to get coffee @ his favourite city espresso.   we hung @ ken's house cos ken n' elbert were lifting, n' we could use his computer.   then we hung out @ his store cos he had to meet hogan there.   then we left in the geo back to the e bay.   upes, i 4got my garage door opener n' bridge tix, so we had to meet up w/ ken n' gordon @ main st. starbuck's.   k, finally off to the e bay.   we went back to christina's.   fud, of course.   then i went home.   sleepy.

life these days?   2 much fud n' not enuf workout, i'd say.   i'd like to hang out @ fantasia n' cupertino village more.   la was fun!   i never got to hang in la much b4.   went to sd lots, went to oc, but not really la.   not in a long time, 'least; not since i was a kid.   rain, rain, rain.   i really wish it'd rain in the bay area n' snow in tahoe.   that'd been better than rain in la.   why'm i talkin' 'bout weather?!   k, life.   uhm...   i'm content 4 now.   i'm happy 4 now.   i'm driving ken's geo, not my subaru.   stocks.   the young folk talk 'bout stocks.   i haven't been doing much taekwondo lately.   life.   work.   i dunno.   whatsup?   i'm sick of dealing w/ customer service operators n' dry skin; not that those 2 things have nething to do w/ each other, of course.   k, i just got a page "143-6-707."   i'll have to assume this is a misdirected page, or else some1's pulling a joke on me.   ah, maybe derrick, cos i told him to page me.   hrm... i dunno.   i guess i give out my pager number pretty casually on my pager code page, huh?   oh well.   neway, customer service operators...   argh, 2 many of them lately.   bureaucracy.   is that what it is?   or does bureaucracy apply to more public institutions?   i miss being a berkeley student.   why doesn't my netzero work?!   i recorded my 1st data cd yesterday, just clearing off 1 of my hard drives, putting some of them korean music videos onto cd.   good, making room to record benomix3, right?   right.   i need to activate chals's pager; ken needs the cap code.   "geo" is an anagram 4 "ego."   lotion cures dry skin, or @ least remedies it.   what remedies customer service operators?   i didn't take ne pictures in la cos s.mike wanted to use up his disposable camera.   buying real estate...   ppl do that.   linda buell just bought a condo, sez brandie.   how come i don't have qcomm stock?   4 the most part, i like priceline.com.   yah, i really do.   k, so what to do w/ my life?   a new century, a new yr, still the same ol' beno journal.

there's something i wanted to talk 'bout here, but i 4get.   something that happened 1-2 days ago...   or over christmas break...   urgh!   k, this is pretty frustrating.   what did i want to talk 'bout?   i know i'll remember when i don't have access to writing in this journal.   i remembered last nite while @ chals's w/ kaela.   hrm...   *sigh*   k, i could wait all day n' miss my flight to lax, thinking 'bout this.

last nite, i went to oak airport to pick up kaela.   when we were loading her luggage, i discovered that jefflyn had left their napolean pastry in my trunk.   ha, i was so hungry, that it tempted me.   well, i drove back to berkeley.   i hadn't eaten dinner, but i assumed kaela had.   we got into berkeley.   eh, i figured kaela's on winter break, n' i'm willing to hang out 4 a while, so i call up chals n' tell him we're coming over n' ask if he's got ne fud.   he says he doesn't have fud but lots of beer, something he kept mentioning the past few days, that he's got tons of beer in his fridge from the time sung, sam, meng, collin, kyung, jay, tiffany, n' i went over.   we didn't drink that much beer, but chals had bought a whole bunch'a ob lager 4 that nite n' collin brought over tons of bud.   eh!   i figured we could go over n' hang @ chals's, maybe go out to party safeway n' pick up some grub.   so we went over, hung 'round 4 a while.   chals showered.   (why do i go into such useless, pointless detail?!)   i got hungry n' ate a li'l of the day old napolean n' a bite of some chocolate frosting tart that was also in the box from some french bakery in boulder, co (jeff's hometown).   we commented on how the place doesn't look like sandy lives there.   k, we go out to party safeway, pick up some fud.   we go back n' cook.   we dine on turkey sausages w/ sautéed mushrooms in seeded sourdough buns, salad, chals's special kimchi jjigae w/ kielbasa in it, rice, n' well... o.b. maekju.   sat 'round n' talked 4 a while.   then i dropped off kaela, went home, n' slept.   hrm...   k, that was an acct of last nite.   sounds pretty dry, but it was fun.   what a weird combo 4 dinner tho', huh?   ha ha.   dang, we haven't been to 168 in a long time, huh?   mmm...   cos kaela's flight was delayed a spent a li'l time in my apt b4 going out to the airport.   i got to watch my 1st episode of the simpsons on my li'l watchman.   i can watch simpsons n' install netzero on my pc @ the same time; i can watch tv in my room.

the weather's nice here; i'm not wearing a jacket 2day.   i hear it's warmer in la.   i wish it'd rain here n' snow in tahoe!   so s.mike's gonna pick me up from lax 2nite; i just gotta call his cell when i get there.   he was a buddhist monk 4 a week, spent a week in a monastery.   i assume his head is shaved.   la... *sigh*

hrm...   maybe i wanted to talk 'bout some topic that was discussed in chals's cafe chulho.   i don't remember.   hrm...   well, what's interesting to talk 'bout?   *sigh*   has my journal gotten really dry lately?!   oh, last nite, on chals's computer, i was playing doom.   i was so excited to play that cos i hadn't played it in yrs!

so i'm off 2 lax 2nite.   kaela's gonna give me a ride sfo.   i packed most of my stuff this morn, but i'll have to double check everything b4 i leave.   k, i hope this is fun.   happy new yr!

i woke up early this morning.   i guess it's partially cos josh has got this crazy nocturnal schedule that he gets every winter/summer break.   i mean, i heard him watching tv, n' i woke up.   but it felt good to wake up sorta early, just as i was describing when chals asked me what's my favourite part of the day.   ("the shortest day of 1999," 21 december, 1999)   last nite, we went out 4 brandie's burthday, belatedly.   went out to brother's korean bbq on geary in sf, had a nice dinner.   owen, deanna, chals, linda, brandie, n' me.   fun nite.   i hadn't cn owen in a long time.   he sez he got a dog, a puppy, part alaskan husky, part german shepherd, part lab.   *sigh*   i gotta c this guy!   he calls him truffy cos he looks like a truffle, he sez.   uh, ok.   ha ha.   after dinner, which started n' ended later than i had planned, chals n' i went to pick up jefflyn @ sfo.   they were coming back from jeff's place in colorado n' leaving right to las vegas via san jo, driving.   crazy, huh?   crazy crazy, yet exciting.   it's good to live an exciting life, right?   don'tchu wanna live?   feel alive.   it's good to feel alive.   breathe.   how do u feel?   me?   i feel good; i think i feel alive.   i'm going down to la!   i'm having fun.   *sigh*   i bought my ticket to disneyland yesterday from the disney store @ hilltop mall in richmond.   i had to take a diff route home yesterday cos i needed to swing by hilltop.   wow, what a wild n' crazy idea, huh?   taking a diff route home.   yah, i'm being sorta facetious.   argh, i think i'm getting all fat, eating out n' drinking beer.   it's not good.   k, i guess few ppl'd ever say i'm actually getting fat, but owen was talkin' 'bout gettin' in shape 4 competition n' all last nite, so i really feel outta shape now.   he's gonna go to the us open in feb, but i'm just waiting 4 the uc open in april.   till then we got demos to take care of.   'member, erin asked me if i wanted to be skinny 4ever, n' i sed that someday i'd try to buff up, someday after i stop competiting in taekwondo, someday in my late 20s, u know?   i dunno.   chals resolves to gain 10 lbs in 2000.   my new yr's resolutions?   hrm...   yah, i'm working on some resolution 'bout making money on the stock market.   'member, i want to make very specific resolutions, so i gotta think 'bout it 1st; like, i gotta come up w/ a specific $ amt.   so!   ne1 got some good stock tips 4 me?

so i'll pick kaela up from oak airport 2nite.   she sez she'll take me to sfo 2morrow.   ah, all this travelling n' airports!   isn't life exciting?!   ha ha ha.   *sigh*   u really should check out chals's journal, cafe chulho.   he's got good things to say lately, n' he lets u respond right there in his journal.   if some1 has something nice to say, or not nice but interesting, they should e.mail me, n' i should post it here in the journal 2, right?   i think so.   guest entries like carol, right?   yah.   oh yah, so kaela's new car...   how come she doesn't talk 'bout it in her journal?!   hrm...   am i not supposed to talk 'bout it?   k, i'll stop talkin' 'bout it.

so...   my survey thingy!   u should fill out my survey!   i sed i'd publish the responses 1nce i got 25.   well, guess what, i got 25 as of yesterday, but i still haven't published the responses, u know that?   i'm sorta breaking my promise, huh?   well, it wasn't a "promise," right?   *sigh*   uhm...   so why am i not publishing the responses yet?   well, i feel i haven't given enuf ppl a fair chance to fill it out, those ppl away 4 winter break.   *sigh*   @ the same time, it's not fair 4 those of u who have.   or do u care?!   ha ha ha.   there's 2 skools of thought 'bout this survey thingy of mine: uh...   an anonymous, fellow on-line journalist insistingly criticises it as being "egotistical," not just "egocentric."   or she says i am or whatever.   other ppl say it's great fun @ my expense.   hrm...   well, i think critical anonymous, fellow on-line journalist is prob'ly right, huh?   it is extremely egocentric @ least...   uh, but i feel i well disclaimed that right @ the introduction!   i give the respondent fair warning that they survey is extremely egocentric on my part...   (uhm, or maybe i did say "egotistical" there, tho' it is more egocentric than egotistical.)   *sigh*   so! neway, results...   even after i publish the results ppl can definitely still respond to the survey, u know?   it'll be out of fairness to society that i publish the results, so that the females named in the "name of my future gf" section have adequate warning n' go run n' hide, u know?   or they can hurry up n' get hooked up w/ other, better qualified men.   ha ha ha.   k, honestly...   survey response #25...   it sorta bewilders me cos it's filled out anonymously, but the respondent gives a pretty specific name 4 my future gf...   hrm...   geez, just think that's such a mean trick to play on this poor gurl, huh? like, i'm supposed to go stalk her now, huh?   tsss...   neway, i'm having fun w/ the survey n' i thank all the respondents.   thanks 4 putting up w/ me.   n' yes, i shall publish the results soon.   hrm...   i dunno when.   when?   should i just bump up the number to something else?   50?   no.   i'll say, i'll publish the results a week after cal spring semester starts or else 1nce i get 35 results, whichever comes 1st.   neway, i dunno if ne of u care.

u should check out this interview w/ korean singer yangpa.   it's really interesting.   it's sorta hassle tho' cos u hafta register as a member of astyle.com b4 u can read the whole interview; they just letchu read the 1st part w/o signing up.   but i think it's really interesting.   i have yangpa's latest cd w/ the song "addio."   hrm, i dunno where i heard it 1st...   did i c the video in korea?   i know i heard n' saw the name a lot, but i dunno where i heard the song 1st.   i don't think it was @ avaron, even tho' they played it there quite a bit.   i think it must've ben in korea, but i dunno if i saw the video or what.   neway, jerome told me that he heard that she was registered as a student @ cal.   eh, i don't think that's true from what i read in the interview.   i think she goes to some small music skool in boston.   who the frick would say her favourite city is irvine?!   ha ha ha.   neway...   it's an interesting interview.   really.

love, love.   blub blub.   so yesterday, after work, i was gonna go meet sung n' brandie @ 99 ranch.   i think kyung n' jay were w/ them 2.   but in the end, i went down to san jo cos the body shop wasn't ready to start working on my forester, tho' ken did bring it in 4 an estimate.   we haven't got the actual estimate yet.   neway, i went down to san jo to trade ken's geo 4 my forester.   i brought chals down w/ me.   he needed to get his pager acct all figured out.   i gave him a pager 4 christmas, but somehow it didn't get activated.   i felt so lame cos there's this beeper city ad that says something like, "did u get ne lame christmas presents this yr? ... [blah, blah, blah] a pager w/o activatation?"   so i felt dumb.   it's not like i didn't pay 4 chals's service, just somehow it didn't get hooked up.   neway, i think we got that sorta taken care of now.

we went down.   i thought it'd be a short trip, but grace n' ken were planning to hang out w/ shinwha, so...   so we all went to the point (out on el camino, in sunnyvale).   gee, i pretty much had the same meal as yesterday:   ddukbokki, tong dalk, etc... maekju, lemon soju.   oh boy...   some other old leland alums joined us: alan tang, tony hsu, this dude named lewis, brian ho, n' paul vong.   well, we hung out @ the point 4 quite some time.   then chals n' i had to head back up to berkeley.   we stopped by albertson's 1st cos i wanted to get a sobe.   there were all sorts of kewl christmas things on sale!   i bought 1 set of christmas mugs w/ some hot chocolate mix n' cookies, a gift pack.   just $1.50!   wow!   ha ha ha.   chals n' i were having a great time @ albertson's!   ha.   then we got gas @ the 76 on bernardo n' took off; 880n via 237e.

sorry, i've just been rattling off a list of things i did again.   sorry, sorry, sorry.   however, u must understand that it's 4 my sake, i do this.   i want to remember all the stoopid things i did as an overgrown kid, right?   right.   do u feel alright.   i think i do.   chals n' i discussed new yr's resolutions.   i'm sure w/in the next coupl'a weeks, i'll have to post some new yr's resolutions here.   let's discuss urs.   new yr's resolutions need to be specific.

christmas weekend.   i went home thurs evening, went to this christmas party @ carol's sister's place, had lots of fud, made poohbear gingerbread ornaments, made paper snowflakes, played taboo...   c, originally, i told carol i'd take her out to dinner 4 her burthday, belated burthday.   but her sister was having this dinner party thingy, so she sed i could take her out 4 zhenzhou nai cha....   well, i at least convinced her to share a bottle of tsingtao beer w/ me later that nite.   so later, we went to her place n' had burthday beer, while she ragged on me n' my webpage, goin' on n' on 'bout how egotistical (not just egocentric) i am.   *sigh*   oh well.   so i went home pretty late.   the next day, hrm...   what did i do?   that was thurs, now it's fri, christmas eve.

well, i had lots of presents to bring in from my car to put under the tree.   hrm...   it was late, i prob'ly slept in 4 a long, long time...   oh!   i woke up late in the morning, which is much better than what i'd have done during winter break of college.   back then, i would've woken up after noon.   i went over to ken's store to sit 'round.   i watched never been kissed on his carded dss.   they had pizza n' beer there 4 lunch.   i had just a li'l.   i had already eaten some curry rice @ home.   ah, now i remember.   let's c...   well, i hung out there 4 a while, then i went to some banks n' shopping.   wow, valley fair was such a meat market this whole weekend.   ha!   but really, it was!   is that ok to say?   the sun goes down so early.   my mom called me a couple times to check where i was n' give me updates on my sister n' brother-in-law's arrival in san jo.   well, i went home after shopping...   something i tend to do, go home.   family went to this umi sushi restaurant on blossom hill.   it was ok.   hrm... then what?   i think we went home n' sat 'round watching tv.   i'm pretty sure.   oh yah!   we watched it's a wonderful life.   'twas the 1st time i watched it all the way thru tho' i know i've watched parts of it b4, tho' i can't remember when.   what a classic movie!   i didn't know it was such a good movie.   hrm...   not bad!   the cutesiness reminded me of life is beautiful (la vita è bella).   ok, the movie ended, i wanted to watch simpsons but took a shower 1st cos my sister wanted to watch the local news neway.   i saw the tail end; 'twas the premier episode, the "santa's li'l helper" episode.   k, i don't think i stayed up late that nite.   i'm pretty sure.   i went to sleep n' slept in late.

i think i was the last in the house to get up.   when i was all washed up n' went downstairs, we got right to opening presents.   i wish i took more pics.   i just took 1 of the christmas tree.   we opened presents yes.   i was really happy w/ my presents yes.   thanks 4 the cd case/bag, liane!   just what i need cos the cartheives stole my old 1, n' i like the colour of this 1!   ah!   s.mike...   funny, i knew he'd get me a diploma frame!   'least he gave a g-rated gift unlike chals!   ha!   but i already asked chals if i could open my present in front of my parents, n' he gave me a good, honest answer.   phew.   grace n' steve gave me a couple christmas cds: boston pops n' jewel.   jewel: on thurs nite, carol asked me what famous female singer i find the most attractive.   i told her the 1st person who comes to mind is jewel.   jefflyn gave me footcare stuff.   my mom gave me a sweater, something i'd want to wear in tahoe.   my dad gave me a wallet.   ah, u know 'bout my wallet thing, right?   uhm...   usually, only my gfs give me wallet, so whenever i get a new gf, i get a new wallet.   i was thinking i needed a new wallet, so that meant i had to get a gf, right?   but eh!   i got a new wallet now.   ha ha.   the only presents i opened ahead of time were chals's n' toby's.   oh, i gave myself a present, under orders from chals.   i gave myself a sony watchman, a really cheap 1, but that's all i'd ever need.   i don't watch tv, but i figured it'd be nice 4 p crew if we had a tv to watch simpsons @ 1100p when we're @ 168 or koko house, more likely 168 since there's musik @ koko.   i didn't open that present until christmas morning, tho' i didn't bother to wrap it.   well, i hope ppl like their presents.   i liked mine.   'twas a happy christmas, 1 of good feelings yes.   we had a big christmas lunch: turkey, ham, yams, stuffing, rolls, salad, cranberry "relish."   we ate a lot.   hrm...   then i was sorta bored 4 a while.   then my mom sed we could go to her office cos she had to go get some medicine from there that she 4got.   we went, we also used the internet from there.   then josh called n' sed he n' rosa'd come down to san jo.   we got back just in time 4 them.   ah, so i fed these 2 hungry travellers (ha ha).   then i gave them a tour of san jo.   i started w/ almaden valley, all the suburban homes, some bigger than others.   then i drove us out to cupertino village 4 zhen zhou nai cha, but fantasia was closed.   we walked 'round 99, the cd store, the gift stores...   oh yah, we were supposed to meet ken @ 1000p to hang.   i took them to christmas in the park.   that was the 1st time i ever went to christmas in the park.   i was there most yrs in hs to do the christmas in the park parade w/ the leland hs marching band, but i never really went to the exhibit.   hrm...   it's hard to explain what christmas in the park is.   it's a bunch of displays, sorta like "it's a small world" over in disneyland.   make sense?   then there's a bunch of christmas trees decorated by local organisations n' businesses.   the 3 of us just kept talkin' 'bout what a couple's thing it all was n' how single we all r.   oh well.   we used the bathroom in the fairmont...   that was b4 walkin' 'round the park.   we drove some more, 'round el camino, out to stanfurd, drove 'round stanfurd, pondered going to the point (korean tavern/pub/"hof"), made our way back to san jo via santa clara n' the scu area, went over to ken's, went w/ ken n' gordon to j.box, then over to his store where we ate j.box w/ uhm... a li'l beer, sam adam's winter brew.   we watched a li'l carded dss, i 4get what.   then we went over to ken's house to watch arlington road n' the beginning of a nastily dubbed version of life is beautiful on carded dss.   we went home n' had a li'l slumber party in our living room.

ah, sunday, the day after christmas.   so we woke up 'round noon.   rosa n' josh were still w/ me.   kewl.   so we went out 4 dimsum @ joy luck place in cupertino village.   oh!   but while waiting 4 our table, we went to fantasia 4 pearl drinks.   i ran into fellow leland hs alum tracy fang, whom i haven't cn in ages.   urh, the typical scene when i run into fellow leland alums, she didn't recognise me...   no 1 recognises me from hs.   i mean, i'm talkin' 'bout close friends!   actually, i wasn't sure it was her when i 1st saw her.   i told josh n' rosa, 'u c that gurl over there @ that table?   in the grey.   k, her friend, i know her from hs.   i mean she's a good friend from hs.   she's in the bathroom right now...'   so they agreed that i should go up to her "friend in grey" n' ask her if her friend is "tracy."   so i did.   she sed, 'yes,' just as tracy was coming back from the bathroom.   so i proceeded to talk to tracy.   oh, that gurl in grey's her li'l sister; i didn't realise that.   *sigh*   ol' leland ppl!   *sigh*   it's so long ago!   but sounds like tracy's doing well, in ucsf 4 pharmacy skool n' all.   well, josh, rosa, n' i sat 'round fantasia 4 a while more, talkin' 'bout what a great meat market it is...   n' it really is.   ha! (can i say that?!)   we went back to our dim sum restaurant; we were late.   we got seated n' had a great lunch.   then we proceeded to valley fair.   we talked 'bout what a meat market the place was.   ha!   we ran into shinwha (why does she mix her 'w's n' 'h's?!   oh yah, her last name is "whang."   why not "shinhwa hwang"?   dyslexic.   jerome's so fascinated w/ her name [even tho' he's never met her] just cos of the korean gayo group shinhwa.)   n' rosie hsueh @ benetton, talked to them 4 a while.   i saw jack's sister caroline chen walk right past me.   i told josh n' rosa, 'that gurl, her brother named me "beno"!'   we hung out @ valley fair 4 a long time, but didn't buy nething 'cept rosa's journal.   (she ought to keep it online, huh?)   doo de doo...   so we strolled 'round valley fair.   then we left, as we tend to do when we don't want to be somewhere nemore.   i drove us to ken's, so i could drop off my car w/ him, so he can take it into the body shop 2day.   upes.   ha ha.   so here's something i haven't discussed in my journal.   c...   a few weeks back, jerome borrowed my car n' got in a li'l accident.   since he did it, n' not me, he's paying 4 all the damages w/o my insurance.   so ken's bringing it to a friend's body shop in san jo.   it's just a few dents.   well, yah, it happened way back on 04 dec.   (the closest journal entry was "chicken nuggets" on 06 dec, 1999.)   well, neway, i traded my forester 4 ken's geo this week.   k, i traded last nite, then i stopped by home so josh n' rosa could get into josh's car, n' i could pick up all my stuff.   we went back to the east bay.   had dinner @ that pojangmacha dansungsa restaurant, which derrick n' deanna call "the porno place."   tong dalk, chulmyun ddukbokki, yangnyum tong dalk, uhm... n' maekju... uh... ha ha... notice that's the drink of the weekend, huh?   we hung out there 4 a while, then rosa n' josh headed home w/ a stop @ rosa's, while i went to reel to pick up some videos.   we watched eat drink man woman, my favourite which i've cn many times, n' the good, subtitled, italian version of life is beautiful.   i went to sleep in the middle of life is beautiful.   cos josh wanted it, beer w/ the movie.   neway! that was my christmas weekend.   i'm glad i bored u w/ all those details.   i'm sure u didn't read it all.   'twas all 4 my sake, not urs.   i just want to remember how i spent christmas 1999.

how many days till 2000?   wow, crazy, huh?   so now i've got to plan out next weekend, la w/ chals, sandy, et al.   yesterday was brandie's burthday.   happy burthday, brandie!   maybe u'll read this.

winter's supposedly well underway but bay area weather resembles summer.   i haven't talked 'bout the weather in a while.   i failed to pack to go home yet.   shoot.   i hung out w/ chals, sam, meng, sung, kyung, collin, jay, n' tiffany last nite @ chals's new place, which used to be meng's.   nice place.   meng n' sam were so eager to eat.   we shoulda waited 4 sung to cook.   nuts.   we went out to the durant food ct.   well, that was nice in itself, to go to such a berkeley institution.   eh!   but we didn't go to the food ct in the end; we went to i.b. hoagie's n' eat-a-pita.   well, close enuf.   in ne case, both r very berkeley institutions also.   'member fleet-a-pita from the simpsons?   i bought a chicken shawarma plate, sam n' meng got sandwiches n' buckets of fries, n' we brought it all back to chals's.   we ate, had beers, n' watched austen powers 2.   we didn't finish the movie.   i took sam home to take out his contacts, n' i went to drop off liane's christmas present.   i hope she likes it.   then i picked up sam, n' we returned to chals's.   i'm just rattling stuff off, rn't i?   nuts.   well, sung had cooked up a feast!   argh, why did we bother to buy fud?   ddukbokki, odaeng, n' kimchi jjigae.   urgh, i thought i'd get thru the nite on only maekju, but sung, sung, sung...   soju, of course.   so a li'l chamisul soju.   jay brought some korean music videos on cd over from his place, so i finally saw some videos i've been waiting a long time to c, such as: diva's (not live) "wae bul luh," yoo seung joon n' yuki hsu's song, n' jo sung mo's "to heaven."   hey, that's the same scene from "huhwe"!   well, i managed to go home b4 it was 2 late.   ah, feels good to be responsible, don't it?   critical carol called me while i was there.   that name's sticking, huh, carol?   nah, i'll try to use it sparingly.

let me mention a topic: coming home from tahoe last weekend, i let dave drive 4 a bit.   he was getting a li'l drowsy, so i made conversation.   i asked, "would u rather have grown up in a different time period?"   basically, would he rather have grown up earlier or later.   like, if we were younger, we'd c better technology, right?   if we were older?   eh, we'd cn some other kewl stuff.   4 example, i'm really fascinated by that wwii / pre-revolution / end-of-the-empire era china.   like stuff from the last emperor or from certain scenes of the joy luck club.   uh, well, shoot, looks like the royalty / upper class ppl had kewl parties n' kinky watermelon-eating habits.   ha ha ha.   i also think the roaring 20s look like fun.   so there'd be advantages to growing up in some other time period in history, right?   even earlier time periods, right?   dave gave a kewl answer.   he's glad he grew up in the 80s/90s, n' that we're somewhere btwn gen x n' gen y.   he sez we're not as disillusioned as gen x n' not as spoiled as gen y.   true.   he mentioned we lived thru the recession, what i like to call "the depression," n' so we rn't as spoiled as gen y who grew up w/ the internet already built.   true.   i think i identify better w/ gen y than gen x.   i asked him if he thought the present socio-economic situation resembled the 80s n' alex keaton.   he pretty much sed yes.

last nite, i was driving sam to chals's place n' we discussed how we think our kids won't realise that we had fun when we were young, that they'll think we were such boring farts.   ha, funny, huh?   is that what they'll think???   scary.   hrm... sams's dad has long hair.   i mean, u don't c many dad's w/ long hair, 'specially asian dads.   well, his family cms kewl, no doubt.

so i think 'bout life way 2 much, huh?   this whole "beno journal" thing...   it just goes to show.   how can i be living life if i'm always writing 'bout it?!   *sigh*   what to do?   pretty bad.   but!   someday, my kids'll reads "the beno journal" n' say.... "man, dad was always this boring."   yah! what'll my kids be like?   hrm...   i wonder.   that's a long way off, u know.   maybe we ought to make a survey 'bout that!   *sigh*   i shoulda sent out the benogurl survey b4 every1 left 4 winter break / holidays / christmas.   *sigh*   sad.   but yes, i am very thankful 4 the responses that i did get; so far, 22 of them.   1nce we get to 25, i'll let ppl view the results!   magic #: 25!   k?   it's like a telethon, u have a goal, 25!   i don't broadcast the next show till we get 25!   sound good 2 u?   sounds fine to me.

well, i prob'ly'll take a big leave of absence soon/now.   i'll go home to san jo after work 2nite, i'll c my family, hang w/ critical carol, hang w/ ken, hang w/ my mom.   i'll try to have a merry christmas, k?   n' u?   u have 1 2, k?   have urself a merry, li'l christmas.   'member all the good things in life.   give thanks.   c u when i get back.

so...   how r we 2day?   good?   good.   i woke up this morning, went back to sleep.   then liane called me cos i left her a voicemail last nite.   i hope i wasn't 2 rude to her; i was in that just-woke-up mood, u know?   last nite, chals n' i swung by sung's to drop off some martial arts equipment orders, then jefflyn told us to go to 168.   jefflyn, dave, n' cal went there.   we exchanged christmas presents, n' took pics on my new i.zone camera.

so yesterday afternoon, i accidentally bought a plane ticket to la 4 new year's.   chals n' i discussed the possibility of going down south 4 new year's, so i sorta pondered it.   i submitted an $80 bid, thinking priceline.com'd laff @ it.   upes, they accepted the bid, so i'm flying down to lax from sfo on the evening of dec 30 n' coming back the morn of jan 2.   i was panicked cos now i need a ride to/from the airport as well as a place to stay.   it looks like sandy's got chals n' me taken care of tho.   we gonna go to disneyland 4 new year's eve.

k, but there's 1 more complication in life.   life is interesting, huh?   i lost my discover card yesterday afternoon.   i think i may have left it @ this mailboxes etc. type place (not the actual mailboxes etc. tho) in corte madera town center mall.   hrm...   this morning i called 'bout the lost card.   i thought it was a more simple process.   they cancelled my acc't n'll make a new 1.   so what 'bout my priceline.com purchase?!   n' what 'bout all the purchases i wanna make on my discover card this week?   n' what 'bout my annual cash reward?   hrm...   will my new card also be a platinum discover?!   if not, i'll be upset.   credit, credit, credit.   *sigh*   i coulda just gone over to that shipping place n' asked if they had my card.   they prob'ly do.   the dumbbutts shoulda called me right away tho'.   they have my fon number cos i had to give it to them 4 the fed exed letter.   *sigh*   the stoopid things that happen in life, huh?

to "saf": yes, i noticed ur g.book entry right away on mon, but i haven't really responded to it cos... well, u didn't leave ne e.mail/contact info.   i just know u'r a "cal alumn."   well, thanks 4 periodically visiting my page.   i don't even know if u read this page, do u?   u "admire a man who is in touch with his feelings and thoughts"?   hrm...   my thoughts @ the moment on that r this tho: maybe women can "admire" a guy that is "in touch with his feelings and thoughts," but they think they're 2 complicated 4 relationships, huh?   ha!   that's so unfair to say, huh?   i'm accusing every guy who's got a gf of being insensitive, huh?   no no no, i don't mean that.   *sigh*   actually, i worry that i'm "insensitive," in that maybe i'm insensitive to other ppl's needs.   *sigh*   k, now i'm embarassing myself, so i'll just sorta walk away from this disaster.   *whistle* *hands in pocket*

so....   what's up these days?   2day's my company holiday lunch in corte madera.   2day chals moves out of his li'l boarding house room n' into meng's old place.   i want to help as soon as i get off of work.   andy's off w/ krishelle cos she came back into town.   i have a present to give andy.   i hope i c those 2 sometime!!!   ppl n' office christmas/holiday parties.   *sigh*   my company just has a company lunch.   those big companies?   dang, it sounds like ppl r going to proms!!!   all this find-a-date stuff!   whoa!   man, i'd hate to be in that situation!!!!!   *sigh*   some1 asked me if she should keep company n' social life separate.   well, i do.   it's ok, but sometimes i think i should be more social @ work.   christmas shopping n' gift giving is turning out to be really fun.   it's better to give than to receive.   i left my new cheap, imitation leatherman tool @ sung's.   that wasn't a present.   i bought it in truckee on sat cos i needed to fix my snowboard binding.   i bought a lotta tools that day.   uh, not 2 much, just that, 2 sets of hex wrenches (standard n' metric), n' some loc-tite.   nething else?   i don't think so.   i already had this ratcheting snowboard tool thingy.   all the mechanical problems in life.   hrm...   i guess it's handy to have a mechanical engineer 'round.   hey, wait...   that's me!   whad'ya know?!   ha, just kidding.   but seriously...   it sucks to have mechanical problems... snowboarding binding problems, car problems... etc.   but it's good to fix them.

mo e.mailed me 'bout her life's drama.   since she doesn't read this journal, i'll go ahead n' blab all 'bout it here...   just kidding.   interesting lives ppl live, huh?

the shortest day of 1999

relative minimum.   it's gonna be a short day.   yesterday, as i drove home, i realised that it was only 530p, but it coulda easily been mistaken 4 930p.   wow, days sure r short nowadays.   last nite, i went to visit sam lee's taekwondo skool, sky martial arts.   i went w/ chals, n' we had a good time.   we warmed up 4 a long time, did paddle kicks; then master yoon came n' led some sparring drills.   afterwards we had dinner n' chilled @ sam's house.   oh, this all took place in castro valley.   we had lots of fud, sat 'round, talked 'bout gurls (of course), new year's plans, how it is when sandy leaves town n' chals can sit 'round, drink beer n' watch blair witch project n' hate it...   oh, so gurls...   yah, that's a topic.   howzabout u take my survey?   some ppl were confused by it...   u know i'm a complete egotist.   the subject of the survey is: who will be my future gf.   gurls understood.   guys were all confused, thinking i was asking 'bout their ideal gf.   no, we're talkin' 'bout me...   me, me, me.   ol', egotistical me!   when do i not talk 'bout me?   ha ha.   *sigh*   oh well...   someday i'll be a better man.   i'll be responsible, mature, n' not so egotistical.   payday bars r good, huh?   i have a bag of 'em @ home.   my mom gave 'em to me along w/ a bag of milk duds.   she was gonna pass 'em out on halloween, but she was out doing work.   oh well.   i haven't passed out candy to kids in a long time.   someday i will, someday when i'm responsible, mature, n' not so egotistical.   i wouldn't mind having a motorcycle tho'.   chals wants 1 2.   i think it'd be fun.   well, it's obviously not the idea of owning a motorcycle, rather riding a motorcycle.   2 bad i can't snowboard as a form of transportation.   do u realise how many pro skateboarders came from my hs?!   isn't it weird that i used to skate w/ ppl who r now pro?!   weird.   well, ppl used to go to engineering classes w/ me, n' now?   i'm a professional engineer!!!   whoa!   ha ha.   gurls used to go out w/ me, n' now i'm a professional gigolo!   whoa!   notice that s.mike took off 4 l.a. n' is a monk right now?   i guess i'm back to filling in 4 him.   shucks.

peanuts have a lotta fat.   charles schultz is retiring.   i like peanuts, the comic strip; it's cute.   it's simple.   *sigh*   neway, chals asked me what's my favourite part of the day?

so beno...what's your fav part of day?   is it...when you look at your clock and you see that you're 5 minutes away from getting outta that building?   is it when you open your apt door after work? is it coffee?   is it emailling? is it getting an email?   is it going to sleep? is it not sleepgin cuz you're out playing?

i don't drink coffee nemore.   e-mail?   i do that.   u do 2.   when i get home n' open my apt door...   @ that pt. i usually have to go pee really bad.   josh is usually watching tv on the couch @ that time.   i drop my keys on the "tv stand" (which is a really old tv that cathy left when she moved out), hastily take of my shoes, n' run to my bathroom.   ah, relief.   then i go to my room n' take off my clothes.   i like to change after work.   lotta times i nap @ that pt.   usually, i go to taekwondo practice after that, right?   k, i'm not getting to an answer really quickly, am i?   well, i think...   i think my favourite part of the day is when i get up early, b4 work, when i can hang up the clothes on the floor n' clean up a bit b4 going to work.   it doesn't happen every morning.   do u know how it is?   when i go to sleep @ nite, many nites i don't get to hang up my clothes, i just lay them out on the floor, go take a shower, dry off w/ a towel n' hair dryer (air dry ur body.   i do.), get into pjs or @ least underwear, check e.mail maybe, then go to sleep.   in the morning, i hopefully clean up the clothes.   it's a good part of the day, i think.   yes, i like going out @ nite n' playing, yes.   i should clean up my room.   i do like getting e.mail; that's 4 sure!   e-mail me please!

ah, what a kewl name.   well, i'll try to think that 4 a few minutes.   it sounds like an action movie!   sorta like end of days.   well, it could also be a good drama movie title.   it can't be a comedy, not even a romantic comedy.   it sounds like an academy award winning movie; yes.   well, let me regurgitate all i did this weekend.   fri: drive to reno w/ dave n' andy, check into circus circus.   sat: board @ sugarbowl w/ dave n' andy; buy some tools from truckee; go back to reno; meet up w/ jefflyn n' peter; play a li'l; fall asleep.   sun: board @ northstar; leave; swing by auburn marie callendar's; go home; get a present from supermike n' another from toby.   i usually don't open presents till christmas day, but toby insisted that i open mine in front of him.   'tis a polaroid i-zone camera that takes instant neoprints!!!

well, short week.   go home to san jo.   ...   so check out my survey!   we'll discuss it later.

last nite: koryo, avaron, j.town denny's.   thurs nite...   kaela, josh, n' me...   ran into lisa n' janet's posse @ avaron.   interesting nite.   potato pancakes @ j.town denny's.   it was an interesting nite @ avaron, but i got to know our waiter kambo better.   he's a kewl dude.

so now carol gets her turn to write a guest entry in the beno journal.   she told me not to edit nething.   ok.   i want to take out the capitalism, but i'll leave it, i suppose.

A Guest Entry by Carol Hui Liao

Oh wow - this feels weird.  It's almost as if I'm trespassing on someone's private property by posting an entry here. But no!  I've been invited here personally by the owner so I shall write as I darn please!  Notice that I put in my middle name for the title of this JE (journal entry) so that I can make it all the more grandiose sounding.  Well, can you blame me for wanting to embellish this particular JE?  I'm just trying to impress the beno journal readers (all two of them! just joshing Beno...I know you really have three) out there.  But getting back to business.  I had all sorts of ideas on how to approach my first guest entry.   So for my first idea, I was thinking of adopting the Beno terminology to amaze and astound beno journal readers.  So it'd have gone something like this:

hrm..so just how r u?  how am i?  why not e-mail me and we can talk?   u bet.  yah, let me tell u, i had duck egg and pork congee @ this restaurant in the milpitas 99 ranch square after work tonite.  i burned my tongue 'cause i was really hungry and ate it 2 quickly.  *sigh*  k, that wasn't kewl @ all.  ha ha.  neway, i think i've lost all feeling in my tongue now.  ha.  hrm...it feels numb actually.  k...weird.  no, kewl!

But I soon found that writing in Beno terminology completely sapped the energy out of me (it's a lot harder that you think) and I, consequently, would have only been able to produce a paragraph's worth for a guest entry.  So I scratched that idea.  My next idea was to talk about sex for my guest entry because that seemed to be a recurring theme in Beno's recent JEs.  Also, I was sure beno journal readers would be impressed - or at least engrossed! - by my choice of topic.    But I got as far as this:

"So sex.  Birds and bees.  Reproduction!  Ahm...."

Seeing how I had nothing interesting to say, I ditched that idea and decided that it'd be best to leave it up to Beno the Sex Expert himself to speak of this subject.  Oh well.  So my third idea?  My third idea was to spit out whatever came to mind and see if anything substantial came out of it.  So I tried.  Here's what I came out:

"Mike Kim" is a palindrome.
"Boob" is one too!
"Sex" isn't unfortunately.
Aren't the terms "SUV" and "luxury" paradoxical?
So why would anyone want to get a SUV luxury car?
Congee is soothing to the tummy.

Well, nothing substantial came out of that brain storm.  So I'm back to square one.  And the ideas are quickly abandoning me as I type this very sentence out.  Quick!  What can I say before beno journal readers crown me Queen Prattler of Nonsense?  Or am I too late?  Sigh.  That's okay, I suppose.  Maybe Beno will be nice enough to allow me another chance at a meaningful guest entry in the future.

So until next time (hopefully!),

Carol - Queen Prattler of Nonsense

so that's it.   2nite, leave 4 tahoe.   i'll be careful.

oh!   p.s. gee, carol, why do u say i'm "the sex expert"?   u know, as well as i do, that i was just filling in 4 supermike during finals season.   now, he's done w/ finals, so he can take the wheel back, right?   i hope.   or else i'm gonna have to wash out my mouth!!! (massengil)   neway, the other thing i wanted to mention in my p.s. is that my cousin lisa is getting married.   she's pretty much my age (a li'l older cos they held her back a yr when she came to the u.s.) n' graduate from haas.

p.p.s. yes, carol, i am very impressed by ur ability to mimic my shorthand n' spelling.   it's pretty kewl.

p.p.s.s. look @ that sentence above "u know, as well as i do, that i was just filling in 4 supermike during finals season."   it can be read 2 ways: 1)"altho' i do it well" or 2)"i know it just as much as u know."   last nite, @ j.town denny's i sed something to josh 'bout us needing to stop being so tragic.   who am i to give advice?   kaela thought it was funny cos "tragic" made her think of plays.   well, yah, i guess...   but life can be tragic; ppl can be tragic.   then we started talking 'bout shakespeare, gwyneth paltrow, n' romantic movies such as titanic.  "tgif," i say.

p.p.p.s.s. i can't believe that on 14 dec, 1998, i wrote a journal entry called "mid-december life" n' also talked 'bout gwyneth paltrow there.

so last nite we (p crew) did the whole dress up, go to dinner, n' take family portraits thing.   we always sed we would, so last nite, we did it.   last yr, we did this; the pics r on my sp99fotos page.   last nite, we ate @ daimo restauarant 4 the 1st time; pretty good.   we took our pics, spent a whole 25 roll of film.   i'll post these pics as soon as i can.   i'm really glad i have kaela's scanner.   well, even still, i need to find time to scan stuff in.   after the fotoshoot, a few of us (rosa, s.mike, eric johnson, jerome, n' i) went to the sony metreon to watch toy story 2.   wow! what a kewl movie!   yes, i liked it better than the 1st.   it had a much better developed plot, n' had so many more deeper themes n' motifs.   it's great.   u'd better go c it right now!   n' 'twas kewl to watch it @ the metreon (altho' it's quite a bit more expensive) cos the sound really comes thru well there.   after the movie i had to remind myself that 'twas wed nite, not fri or sat, so i had to go home n' go straight to bed; no shower, no e.mail, no internet chat.

r u in the christmas mood yet?   i should listen to more christmas musik, right?   right.   christmas shopping.   hrm...   winter, winter, winter.   winter = snowboarding.   the weather's 2 nice right now; it worries me!   i want it to snow in tahoe!   well, 9 days left till christmas.   shop, shop, shop.   commercial christmas.   of course, christmas is supposed to be a celebration of jesus's burth.   i gotta write christmas cards.   urgh, better do it soon.

so last nite, when we got dressed up, i wore a wool longcoat that was sorta passed down to me.   i think my mom gave it to me to wear, tho' it was my dad's.   it's nice to have something like that, isn't it?   like a nice piece of clothing that got handed down, heirloomed.   i hope i didn't get popcorn butter on it.   i usually don't put butter on my movie theatre popcorn, when i get it, but jerome got butter.   i noticed some butter stains on my shirt.   *sigh*   oh well.

so chals sez more ppl'll sign my g.book if i rename it "the g.spot."   ok, chals, i'll give it a temporary, small try; sorta test it out: hey, every1!   plz sign my g.spot!   i s'ppose what i'm s'pposed to do is, on the menubar frame, write "g.spot" instead of "g-book,"   then ppl'll click on it thinking they'll c some page 'bout sex, but they'll end up @ my g.book instead.   i guess so.   then i can look @ who signed my g.book n' know they got there looking 4 some sexual stuff, like a sex advice column or something, huh?   eh, i dunno.   well, i'll 1st c if more ppl respond from my calling it the g.spot! right here.

wow, 'nother yr is almost done, 'nother decade.   i like to think 'bout all the ppl i met this yr n' how they affected my life.   i met more ppl this yr than some other yrs.   well, ppl meet a lot of new ppl during their freshman yr of college, that's 4 sure.   me, why did i meet a lot of ppl?   i dunno.   well, it's cos i got out more, right?   right.   new friends, old friends, good friends...   yah, i'm glad i made some memories this yr.   chals was talkin' 'bout how he started his journal now cos he realised, after what i sed on mon ("metajournal"), that he wanted a record of what he did in life.   yah, good.   wurds r good.   pics r good.   wurds and pics r powerful.   writing a journal, i can choose what to say n' what not to, huh?   i hope i don't 4get the things i didn't talk 'bout in "the beno journal," right?

oh, i just checked carol's "online jams."   she already posted my guest entry!   wow.   well, i have a correction, tho'.   doesn't the next millenium start in 2001, not 2000?   maybe i should e.mail carol, n' ask her to add a note 4 me.   i feel really special cos my guest entry is in blue!   yah, i like blue.   so s.mike really likes that amber song "sexual," apparently.   well, i'm hoping carol'll send me a guest entry soon.   1st carol, but i'm also inviting: chals, jerome, n' kaela, k?   in fact, i'd like liane to write a guest entry, altho' she doesn't have her own on-line journal yet.   someday she will, n' i want to be able to say she got her start via "the beno journal."   :-)   ...   i just saw a really kewl webpage of some1 i don't know.   that kind of stuff happens.   i surf the net, find a kewl webpage, sign the g.book.   ahem, i mean, g.spot!   neway, should i direct u there?   i don't know this guy, but ok, here's his site: aarisings: da humble abode.   check it (out).   he's got an on-line journal 2, of course.   i hope this is appropriate, advertising 4 some stranger's website.   eh, whatever.

oh, my dad just e.mailed me that he wrote an editorial letter response in usa today.   some guy from englad was saying that china should take over taiwan cos it's "unfinished business," but my dad wrote 'bout the details of taiwan's history n' why it is already an independent nation.   wow, this english dude's argument is that taiwan's being an independent nation is a threat to world peace.   ah, i c...   yah, this guy's pretty messed up; u can't take away a nation's right to be a nation just cos it's 2 much of a hassle to think 'bout the issue.   hrm...   yah, i wish i were a li'l more knowledgable 'bout world history, n' could cite all sorts of other examples...   ha, but well, i obviously agree w/ my dad.

i went to lunch w/ dave @ a afghan place in san rafael.   we ate; then we went to trader joe's in the same strip mall.   ah, i was looking 4 a trader joe's!   kewl.   well, i don't have much to write 'bout 2day cos i e.mailed carol my guest entry 4 her journal.   i'd like her to write a guest entry 4 me.   i'm all journalled out.   remember that song "all cried out"?   i don't even remember now what i wrote in the guest entry.   did i talk 'bout that theory?   future spouse, soph yr of hs thru jr yr of college thingy...   i think i did.   i was talkin' 'bout that w/ phil yesterday.   it's an old, old topic.   i talked to phil last nite; i talked to alex last nite.   i love transpacific fon calls!   it's 2 kewl knowing it's a totally diff time of day, a totally diff day on the other end of the line!

the 12 days of christmas have begun.   i feel i'm doing a horrible job buying presents.   i've been shopping on-line a li'l, n' i think i'm buying really bad presents!   i'm sorta impulse shopping, tho' i ought to be thinkin more clearly while shopping from the ease of my own computer desk, right?   oh well...   sorry, every1!   i'm getting u lame presents.   ha ha.

let's air some durty laundry: sandy 1nce told chals that she would want to marry a guy who has never cn porn n' would never want to.   chals sed, "good luck."   n' i told her that 2.   (k, i don't need ne guys e.mailig me 'bout how they've never cn porn, so they deserve to get w/ sandy.   i don't wanna be held responsible when chals kicks the $#!+ outta u.)   oh, why r we talkin' 'bout porn?   chals, sandy, s.mike, n' i watched nicolas cage in 8mm last nite.   s.mike was so disturbed by it, he took it so personally.   8mm involves what, i guess, ppl call "snuff films."   some kind of pornography where a gurl, i guess, gets violently killed.   that's nasty, i think.   i don't get how that's arousing.   really.   i mean, there's all sorts of erotic things that turn me on, but why would i get turned on by watching a gurl get beat, mutilated, etc.?   lemme tell u, porno...   there's this guy i sorta know, he takes pics of famous ppl, n' edits his face into the pic, so it looks like he knows the celeb, n' posts it on his webpage.   i saw his page.   he had a pic of some japanese porno actress.   i had never heard of her, but he sed she's a porno actress.   under the pic he explains that he pasted his face over the face of the porno actress's brother.   hrm...   when i read that, i felt really bad 4 the brother.   how does it feel to know ur sister's a professional porno actress?   urgh, disturbing thought.   really, i think!   well, i think it's just plain out prostitution, 4 1 thing...   hrm...   (i guess this is my raunchiest journal entry.) like if the video or whatever involves actual sex, yah, i think it's like prostitution...   if it's just naked bodies, sexual movements, even uh... self-pleasure, it's better, i suppose.   well, so it's disturbing to me.   so i came up w/ this idea: all porno should be done by amateur couples who r actually in relationships.   k, not like i'm out to pass legislation to en4ce this; it's just my thought.   i told s.mike this.   he sorta agreed n' added that porn should only be done by couples 4 themselves.   i guess, i dunno...   k, of course, 1 could be righteous n' argue that porn just shouldn't exist @ all, right?

k, yes, this is my raunchiest journal entry ever; but geez...   i graduated from berkeley, i'm gonna have to talk 'bout all sorts of sex stuff now n' then, right?   well, last nite, i had a pretty eventful evening!   i left work, stopped by costco to pick up some pics (non-pornographic, ha ha), picked up toby, met up w/ audrey from unit ii, went to unit i dc 4 dinner, told jerome to meet us there, saw sam lee n' andy kim, hung out @ unit ii, saw alice chan (laura's li'l sis), hung out w/ various unit ii residents, dropped off toby n' jerome, went home to get my taekwondo stuff, went to taekwondo practice (sam lee, chals, n' aviva were practicing, n' sandy was in the office.), practiced, left w/ chals n' sandy, picked up s.mike, went to non-party, northside safeway, went to blockbuster, went to s.mike's to watch the movie.   jampacked, non?   si. ("si" not "oui," right?)

2day, i had a world wrapps thai chicken wrapp 4 lunch.   i realised, while @ the corte madera town center, that marin county is a very classist society.   then i admitted to myself that i know how to deal w/ that kind of situation cos i grew up in almaden valley in san jo.   sure, i've been living in a relatively classless society of uc berkeley 4 a while, but i remember how to deal w/ this kind of scenario.   i went to goodguys.   they still use the "*" system, where items which earn the salesman more commission cos of the price mark up r tagged w/ more "*"s than the others.   wow.   i thought they had stopped.   chals worked 4 goodguys b4, right?   why don't we ask him.   "chals, didn't u work @ goodguys?   i know u did, but what exactly did u do there?"   k, we'll c if chals answers.   u know, they have holiday snickers shaped like nutcrackermen.   i miss having winter break.   didju know costco sells packs of sobe w/ only lizard blizzard n' lizard fuel?   they do.   i have a case, of course.   i was just telling chals, in an e-mail, how, well...   'bout last nite @ the dc...   let's say u'r in a big crowd of strangers; u feel like u'r in a big crowd of strangers.   now let's say u know a few ppl in that crowd.   even tho' it's just a few ppl of a differece, all the sudden u don't feel nearly as much like u'r in a big crowd of strangers.   partially, this is cos ur friends have other friends who have other friends, right?   six degrees of separation, of course.

well, december will come to pass.   time progresses.   jerome told me koto went to the counting crows concert last nite.   "long december."   "maybe next year will be better than the last."   i hope so, @ least as far as my car.   ha ha.   u know, there was 1nce a time when philip huang read my journal.   i don't know where those days went.   millenium.   ha, i'm just thinking how brandie has that sign on her bedroom door that says, "your next girlfriend is in here."   it's an old 4 the bay area guardian, i suppose, referring to the personals ad.   funny.   k, i'll go away 4 now, k?

oh yah, there r 2 kinds of ppl in this world: ppl who read "the beno journal" n' ppl who don't.

i'm not satisfied w/ that name.   it sounds like i'm a journalist, as in a news media writer/reporter.   but i am.   i give u news 'bout myself, don't i.   well, not just me, those 'round me 2.   well, i'm in a on-line journal slump.   i don't feel like talkin' 'bout what's going on w/ me, as in rattlin' off events.   @ the same time, i don't have ne brilliant analyses of life.   do i ever?   my life: i work, i play.   i already sed i feel bad that i think i'm really irresponsible n' immature.   didn't i?   i sed something like that.   hrm...   well, why should i be so ashamed of who i am?   i dunno...

well, i went snowboarding in tahoe this weekend, stayed @ reno circus circus.   brought w/ me supermike n' eric johnson (who just recently got his ph.d. in physics from cal).   we had a good time.   cheap weekend in the snow; n' next weekend'll be 2.   that's good; takin' advantage of discounts n' stuff.   i really like snowboarding, i have to say.   well, it's a way of getting out of the city life n' getting out in nature.   i like snowboarding 4 many reasons.   why am i having a hard time writing journal entries these days?   is winter depression setting in?   last week, i took chals to costco so he could buy him n' sandy a new 27" tv n' hi-fi vcr.   oh, that nite, the 3 of us had a li'l farewell get2gether w/ master park.   now, that sparked a li'l debate amongst the p crew, creating political factions or something.   am i airing durty laundry?

*sigh*   now, ain't that the problem w/ the life of an on-line journalist?   this is supposed to be fun!   it's supposed to be relaxing.   i shouldn't have to stress so much 'bout what i say, should i?   hrm...   k, u know what?   did i ever tell u?   i'm sure i did.   what do i consider this thing, this monstrosity, we call "the beno journal"?   is it a diary?   no.   is it a column?   not really, but closer.   what i think of it is this: a letter to my friends, family, acquaintances, future friends, n' even some strangers all @ once.   instead of mass mailing ppl n' forcing them to read my garbage, i'll leave them the option of visiting this homepage.   fair enuf?   i hope so.   sometimes i feel i'm writing a diary, n' much of the time u feel like u'r reading a diary.   i'd like to think it's more of a newspaper column, but that's dreaming; how many readers do i really have?   well, yah, i know i have some, n' i appreciate them, but it's not to the newspaper scale, u know?

did i mention that kaela has a journal?   i don't think i did.   kaela, can i send ppl over to ur journal?   or will that piss u off?   well, here's the link to kaela's journal .   if that link disappears, then that means i've been told to take it off.   on-line journals r good.   i think so.   why?   cos ppl should write more.   it's good to write, it's good to write.   it's good to be literate, right?   right.

eugene e-mailed me.   she n' eileen wanna hang on fri, do a belated beno's burthday dinner.   un4tunately, i'll be in tahoe already.   i miss them tho'; i hope we can hang earlier in the week.   hrm...   c, this should go in a personal letter, not in an on-line journal, wouldn't u say?   i say.   2nite, toby n' i r gonna visit audrey @ unit ii again n' help her use up her extra meal "swipes" @ the dc.   did i mention that i'm gonna stop by costco on the way home to pick up some pics?   no, but i mentioned that i went last week w/ chals.   i haven't heard from chals in a while; well, ha...   since fri nite...   k, not that long, huh?   i badly need a haircut.   i'm shaggy as all heck, i am.

so will i ever get 'round to discussing 1 3x 9, my hopes n' expectations, were they met?, etc?   k, i'll just be casual 'bout it.   lemme try to travel back to last jan, jan 1999.   *sigh*   wow, those were the days, j/k.   (i rarely say "j/k" or "just kidding" cos i assume u'r smart enuf to know when i'm just kidding, but well... i'll do it here.)   jan, i had just gotten my new subaru forester.   i was snowboarding lots; i had just gotten my new snowboard n' gear.   i snowboarded a lot this yr; that was expected.   k, what did i expect?   lessee...   the biggest thing of this yr, well...   let's summarise the biggest events of this yr (of my life, that is.): 1)the car accident, 2)korea trip, 3)nat'l collegiates, 4)2nd dan test, 5)summer visitors, 6)company's move to cm.   then there was also tons n' tons n' tons of drama here n' there, stuff i wouldn't gossip 'bout in my journal, i suppose.

1) car accident: 2 months in the shop, visits to placerville, weekly disappointment, then the long awaited return of the millenium falcon, despite frequent car drama thruout the remainder of the yr.

2) korea trip: i knew it was possible, but i wasn't sure i was definitely gonna go.   well, it happened.   i stayed in korea 4 2 weeks; spent the 1st week training @ yong-in dae, cing motivation like i've never cn b4; hung out in seoul 4 the other week, having tons of fun.   i met so many kewl ppl.

3) nat'l collegiates: inspired by all the taekwondo of the summer, i was determined to fight @ least 1nce in my life 4 the cal team.   last yr, i thought 'bout it, but this yr, it happened.   (k, then there's the whole issue 'bout m. park's departure, which was very unexpected.)

4) 2nd dan test: yah, this is 1 of the things that led up to what made me so determined to go to collegiates...   since i went to the korean martial arts summer camp (the santa cruz 1) in july, practiced so much 4 demos, practiced so much 4 this test, practiced so much in korea...   since i did all that, i figured it'd be a waste to not go ahead n' practice 4 collegiates.

5) summer visitors: well, it started off w/ anna visiting from the philippines @ the beginning of summer, right as cal students were taking finals.   then alex n' later soo young.   master jang.   meeting him was 1 of the best parts of summer camp, right? right.

6) company's move to corte madera: i'm just beginning to figure out how this'll affect my life, but it's taken a lot of stress out by taking me away from bay bridge n' sf traffic.   there's plenty i miss 'bout being in the beautiful city of sf, but i love the peace n' quiet out in cm 2.   n' i get to hang out w/ dave now!

well, what else filled this yr?   ha, listening to "yul jeng" over n' over!   ha ha.   'twas the song i listened to b4 taekwondo practice almost every nite.   i made sure i listened to it b4 fighting @ collegiates.   what else?   lots of clubbing @ club era, s.factory, n' avaron.   lots of 168 n' koko house.   still lots of neoprints n' zhen zhou nai cha, altho' we started gettin' into the moo gua neo nai scene 2.   ha ha.   went snowboarding plenty.   ah... the spring break snowtrip!!!   ah, that almost qualifies as 1 of the biggest events of the yr.   i believe that n' the great america were the 2 most extensively planned p crew events, right?   correct me if i'm wrong.   bringing the p crew to san jo was fun 2 (memorial day / my mom's b.day, m.jang's trip to san jo, n' my b.day.   [also various trips where i'd bring 1 or 2 p crewers down]).   ha ha.   'member swing dance classes?!   ha!   *sigh*   oh boy, those were the days.   i think i'm gonna cry; i'm getting so nostalgic.   ha ha!   driving jeff, cal, n' stephanie to work n' back...   ah, that was all part of 1999.   'member... spring n' fall were full of drama...   full of it!!!!   winter n' summer were pretty dramafree.   some new relationships happened.   plenty of taekwondo.   the uc open / andy's b.day party.   ah... (*sigh*)   ha, that was quite a day n' nite!   so busy.   well, hopes n' expectations v. what actually happened: uhm, i guess i sorta expected to test 4 my 2nd dan n' go to korea.   collegiates?   hrm...   i sorta expected that 2.   summer visitors: a pleasant surprise.   car accident: an unpleasant surprise.   corte madera: a pretty mellow thing.   *sigh* i 'member the weekend i deejayed the wedding n' brought jerome 'long w/ me down to san jo to drive my cousin to uc santa cruz.   c, that was fun.   *sigh* tons of fun this yr...

so was there nething i hoped would happen way back in jan that didn't happen?   or howzabout @ least nething i expected to happen, that didn't.   hrm...   k... here's something that's sorta good n' bad, but affected us here quite a bit...   s.mike's breakup.   i know, i'm sorta getting into that drama/gossip bit i sed i'd avoid...   but geez...   *sigh*   his "personal renaissance" led to the formation of m. crew, etc.   the whole supermike persona finaly got developed, right?   ha ha.   ah...   the matrix, what a defining movie 4 1999.   ha ha.   *sigh* neway, back on the topic!   nething i expected to happen but didn't?   maybe i thought toby'd be singing right now, but he quit.   hrm...   ha... benomix3 still hasn't come out, but!!!   it will!   k, here's 'nother defect in my life 4 1999.   i still haven't taken the gre, n' i thought i would've.   k, now i'm gettin' depressed, so let's talk 'bout happy stuff.

k, no matter what...   i'll cherish the time spent w/ friends this yr, new friends n' old friends.   we've been thru a lot of crap, but eh, i'm focusing on the goodtimes.

have u ever drawn an extruded solid in autocad?   maybe u have.   i was working on this design drawing of a gear a coupl'a days ago.   just when i finished the win nt pooped out n' my drawings was lost.   always remember to save ur work often.   i thought i knew...   (c august 04, 1998; "all i ever needed to know, i learned in my fifth year at uc berkeley.")   it's ok.   i just re-did it; no biggie.

so i was telling carol...   well, we were talking.   both she n' liane both cm to think i'm diff in person from what i cm to be in my journal.   really?!   i'll admit this: i think in really life, i'm a much more irresponsible, reckless person.   i feel bad 'bout that, yes.   but yah, i think i am, n' i'm constantly trying to change that.   i'm coming to terms w/ the man i'm supposed to be.   i'm trying to hold myself accountable to my actions, society, my community, my family, my future...   uh, does that make sense?   i'm trying to think things thru, trying to weigh values, trying to make good decisions.   i make mistakes, yes.   i make many.   but i know it's my job to fix them, if i can, n' learn to avoid those mistakes in the future.   i'm trying.

oh, so since it's really late @ nite right now, n' i'm only up cos i ate 2 late @ 168 2nite w/ jefflyn, cal, n' supermike, i want to talk quickly 'bout a subject.   carol was telling me that hrm...   a while ago i was discussing that e-mail converation i had w/ rosa 'bout what guys want in a gurl (skinny) n' what gurls cm to want in a guy (tall).   she sed she considers me to be tall n' that it sounds like i'm tooting my own horn, saying that gurls should want me.   argh.   k, let's just lay the cards on the table, get the facts straight.   how tall am i?   i'm 5'11".   i don't feel i'm that tall.   honestly, if i were 1 inch taller, i'd feel better.   i don't dwell on it, no; but if i were really to think 'bout it, yah.   hrm...   k, i think that's all i'm gonna write 4 now cos i ought to sleep.   k, talk to u later.

oh yah, carol brought up a good topic in her e-mail.   the end of 1 triple 9: do i feel what i expected to happen happened?   i'll talk 'bout it later.

yesterday, every single e-mail i sent out (w/ the exception of 1 piece of bizness e-mail) was entitled "hotboxcity."   on mon nite, some non-studying-4-finals ppl went to hot pot city to cook n' dine.   i was happy to eat hot pot, bbq, n' sushi.   i like how they've added sushi.   last nite, i ate zacchary's w/ toby.   i had pizza 4 2 meals yesterday.   i must be getting fat.   afterwards, i went to toby's n' watched some pbs documentary 'bout obesity.   we really gotta watch what we eat.   'member how i sed last time that rosa n' i were discussin' the guys-want-skinny-gurls topic?   winter.   winter depression?   i hope not.   it's colder now, harder to wake up.   consciousness n' coincidence.   corte madera.   i was looking in my old me102b book @ work cos i was sorta designing a gear.   i found i had bookmarked a page w/ a business reply card from some engineering company in corte madera.   i think that bizness is in the same plaza as i now am.   weird.

oh, weird.   i just got my 1st piece of racist, hate mail.   check out my g.book!   well, i'm not sure what it is.   it's anti-japanese, n' as a pan-asianist, i'll consider it anti-asian.   eh, i dunno.   whatever.   who the phuc has time to surf the web, find asian ppl's webpages n' post anti-asian hatemail in their g.books?   ha.   *sigh*   it's just like the swastika graffitied in 168.   so some neonazi guy who hates asians has to put himself thru going to 168 just to write on the bathroom stall wall?   k, u got to draw u'r li'l drawing, but u had to subject urself to being amongst dirty, disgusting asian ppl to do so.   i dunno.   really, whatever.

so...   some ppl know what happened w/ jerome.   i feel really bad 4 him, of course.   i never want to c a friend have to be in trouble.   well, i hope i can make this easier 4 him, n' i'm doing all i can.   oh yah, s.mike's gonna be a buddhist monk 4 2 days next weekend.   ha ha.   he's gonna shave his head n' read buddhist scriptures all day.   he sez it's a family tradition.   the now trite joke is that, 4 2 days straight, beautiful women will come up to him n' offer him sex, n' he can't accept.   ha ha.   it's jerome's b.day this sat.

i don't wanna talk 'bout this weekend.   my standard lately has been to rattle off the events of the weeekend on mon, right?   well, i'm sick of that.   *sigh*   i'm happy that i got my cd-r burner working again.   all i had to do was unplug the scsi cable to kaela's scanner, unplug it from the pc side, not the scanner side.   kewl.   now i can record cds n' clear off my hard drive.   benomix3 netime soon?   we'll c.   i'll mention that i took fri off from work to get my alignment on my car fixed.   i went christmas shopping w/ chals in sf.   that was fun.   *sigh*   so.... life!   life, life, life.   how r u?   please e-mail me n' chat; n' as carol sed, feel free to show my g.book some luv.   ha ha.   i've been debating whether i should switch g.book companies.   neway, kaela's got a journal now 2!   that's kewl, on-line journals r kewl.   neway, life!   what pseudo-deep thoughts do i have 'bout life?   never take it 4granted n' be a nice person, right?   i know, in mike's sporadic, semester-long absentee habits this semester, pcrew-wise, i feel i've been 2 much filling his void by throwing in all his twisted, sex-related, potentially perverted comments.   sad, sad, sad.

k, what else can i talk 'bout?   maturity, responsibility.   that's a topic.   whadya want me to say 'bout it tho'?   i definitely think 'bout it.   well, no holiday this week.   oh yah, i also took last fri off cos i needed to use my 1 floating holiday / yr.   use it or lose it.   well, it'll be a full week, this week.   winter is cold.   i woke up really early this morning cos i thought i had a mtg in sf.   i drove to work.   it was dark, n' i liked it that way.   i didn't want the sun to come up, but it did.   oh well.

i didn't have a name 4 2day's entry till now.   fishsticks on thurs (it's actually titled "catfish," but liane called it "fishsticks."), no chicken nuggets.   i ate chicken nuggets 4 lunch on fri.   i had spicy, buffalo chicken strips @ j.town denny's on sat nite.   i guess i'm just in the mood 4 that sorta stuff.   i think i'm mananging so far to evade winter depression, at least to the pt of not getting more than a few abrasions n' maybe a pulled muscle here or there.   that's good.   dang, don't i have nething interesting to talk 'bout tho'?   in this respect, i believe i've reached a low pt, huh?

well, here's 1 topic.   i was talkin' to rosa cho 'bout guys' standards of women's looks n' women's standards of men's looks.   she was complaining 'bout how guys want such skinny women.   i complained 'bout how women, 'specially asian-american women, want such tall guys.   feel unpretty?   so who's worse?   right?   i dunno.   wanna discuss?

no reason to call this entry "catfish," just that my office got a new hp printer n' it had some ad 4 some software in it, something that helps u print webpages nicer; n' the sample webpage had some catfish recipe on it n' a cartoon of a fish w/ a cathead.     neway, time 4 me to ramble off what i did this weekend, non?

tues: josh's b.day; after practice, 22 ppl went to koryo to eat.   then a select few went on to noraebang @ nrb.

wed: left work kinda late, uhm..., i 4get..., oh yah, went to christina's, hung out, met s.mike n' brandie @ tacqueria cancun, went to watch sleepy hollow @ jack london along w/ jefflyn, linda, josh, rosa, josh's friend pat...   funny, i remember, we left cancun, we were decided who should drive whom...   i was assigned s.mike n' jefflyn.   christina sed she'd go w/ brandie, else brandie'd be alone...   1nce in my car, s.mike says something like, "well, it's just like the good ol' days, just us 2."   then we totally 4got to pick up jefflyn!   we get to jack london, n' jefflyn calls us up!   *sigh* sad, huh?   so they had to drive themselves out.   so ironic.   we're so lame.   the movie?   not as good as i expected!   it was like watching the mummy.   'member how i pressured every1 to go watch, then it was sold out so we bought tix to a walk on the moon n' snuck into the mummy, then i was so disappointed w/ the movie?   'member?   ah, those were the good ol' days.   [c 07 may, 1999; "the death of beno."]   after the movie, christina (typical christina) fed me tons of kalbi @ her place.

thurs: in the morn, woke up, did some lame maintenance stuff on my pc, drove down to san jo, ate w/ my mom @ superbowl pho @ the cupertino village 99 ranch place (saw long-time-no-c jenny huang there), went to marina foods, went to saratoga foods (sogo bakery).   so all the asian markets n' businesses were open on t.giving!   'twas fun to be @ cupertino village.   i like that place.   went home, slept, woke up, ate unagidon bento we got @ saratoga foods, watch chinese tv w/ my mom, fell asleep, talked on the fon, fell asleep...   notice i sleep 'lot in san jo?   grace n' steve came home,   talked to them,   fell asleep... ha ha

fri: i woke up early cos i wanted to go to the mall.   my mom was originally gonna wait 4 grace n' steve to wake up.   i was watching the news n' they sed the malls were filling up.   i was 'bout to give up on the idea, but then my mom sed we should go out to safeway.   she knew i was restless.   on our way out, i convinced her that we should go to a mall.   i think, @ 1st she was thinking of dinky, li'l oakridge, but i convinced her that, since stanfurd wasn't gonna open till 900a, that we could go there.   so we went to stanfurd mall.   i fell asleep in the car.   we shopped 'round a lot, then went home.   i fell asleep in the car.   we got home, ate our huge t.giving feast lunch,   i prob'ly fell asleep again @ this pt. ha ha... hrm... maybe not.   we went to valley fair, shopped 'round a lot.   i fell asleep on a couch in nordstrom.   we eventually came home, ate some more...   i went w/ grace n' steve to blockbuster even tho' i was planning not to watch the video w/ them but go out w/ ken.   they picked never been kissed.   i went out w/ ken, met up w/ some hs friends whom i 4got.   it was weird cos i didn't know them 2 well, but they're kewl ppl.   we hung out @ city espresso, then i went home cos i was planning on driving up @ 700a.

sat: woke up early, drove up to hayward to hang out w/ christina, hung out all day, went to koko house @ nite w/ p crew affiliates, went to ben & jerry's, went to watch being john malkovich, which was much, much, much better than i expected.   i luved it.   sometimes i watch a movie n' say, "dang, i wish the writer would make this happen!   i wonder what would it would be like if that happened?"   but everything i wanted to happen, happened...   n' me, i want weird things to happen.   what a kewl movie.   ha ha ha.   oh, b4 the movie, after b&j's, i went to jbox w/ rosa to get fud 4 s.mike n' his lab partner.

sun: drove up to tahoe all by myself to meet up w/ meng n' darlene in truckee.   we went to northstar; cheap $31 4 opening weekend.   we boarded (meng skis) all day then went home.   went to tainan in 99 4 dinner, then i hung out w/ s.mike 4 the rest of the nite.   i didn't even get to go home n' was still wearing snowboarding pants.   sat 'round mike's n' talked 'bout the typical how come we don't have gfs stuff... so depressing.   ha ha.   why does mike do this to me?   on a normal day, i don't think 'bout it much.   hrm... i dunno.

so 2nite, dave's bring me to the 9ers v. green bay game!   his boss gave him tix.   monday nite futbol!   whoa...   u know i'm not the biggest futbol fan, but how could i ever pass up a chance like this?!   k, well, all apologies to my readers; i know my journals been really boring lately, sorry.   check out carol's, w/ her cal/manny/ewey entry on 26 nov, 1999.   not much more exciting in this wurld than gurls checkin' each other out in their underwear! ha ha...   oh well... sorry i can't offer u that kind of excitement in my journal...

k, so i still haven't gotten 'round to writing that semi-serious article i sed i would.   ha, k, i shall get 'round to it.   so...   another recap of what i did this weekend just 4 my sake, not urs!   thurs nite, i missed practice n' the uc open mtg cos i fell asleep when i came home from work.   i was trying to find parking in berkeley either on telly or shattuck, so i could go to gnc n' buy those overpriced vitamins i'm so addicted to.   someday, i'll go into rehab.   i fell asleep.   s.mike woke me up w/ a call 'round 1000p to ask me to go to dinner, but eh, i declined.   i treated my condition as if i were sick sick, tho' i wasn't sick sick, just exhausted.   i guess christina paged me later on, n' we talked 4 a while.   she's going off to korea next week to train (taekwondo) 4 'bout a month b4 the us collegiate team trials.   if she makes the team, she's off to taiwan 4 the world collegiates in spring.   that's kewl.   jason, linda, efren, colleen, n' marc r also going to team trials.   man, i wish i could have that kind of opportunity.   fri nite, went to practice a li'l; went to watch 007: the world is not enough @ jack london.   (we were supposed to watch sleepy hollow, but 'twas sold out.)   went home to sleep, tho' other went to party @ jason's.   sat, snowboarding w/ supermike n' darlene.   boreal.   ha, we stopped in truckee to eat stoopid taco bell b4 boreal.   we were so stuffed!   urgh.   i ate taco bell 4 lunch on fri 2; chalupas.   believe it or not.   neway, we hit the slopes.   'twas all i could ask 4 on a 1st trip of the season.   no bails, just simple riding, a few jumps, airs, 180s, practice riding fakie, this n' that.   no big airs, no big falls.   stopped by sum's mongolian bbq in auburn on our way home.   we all got home in 1 piece...   oh 3 separate 1 pieces... right?   some p crew members tried to watch sleepy hollow again, but again sold out everywhere.   we watched american beauty @ sony metreon.   unh! 'twas awesome, no doubt!   i loved it.   the best american movie i've cn in a long time.   ... k, critical carol just e-mailed me, telling me to change the pic on my index page.   well, we'll c 'bout that!   k, i just changed it.   let's c what carol has to say 'bout that! ... neway, back to my rattling off of things i did... just 4 my sake, not urs!   went home after the movie, fell asleep in josh's car on the way home.   the only ppl who ended up watching the movie were josh, rosa, brandie, n' me.   the s.mike n' darlene ditched us.   went home, slept 4 a long, long time.   woke up 'round noon on sun, talked 4 a while, went w/ brandie to express on bancroft cos she was buying christmas presents 4 her grandmas n', i think, 1 friend.   hrm...   don't shop 4 women's clothes much these days.   got a pineapple-banana yogurt fusion from frozen fusion.   brandie drove me, chals, n' joon to safeway by her place, she dropped herself n' joon off; n' me n' chals took off to pick up sandy, go to pusan plaza (ha, i almost wanted to type out "pusan puraja."), pick up jerome, n' go back to brandy's.   ah, 'twas a kewl nite.   2 much fud.   brandie cooked spaghetti w/ meat n' porcini shroom sauce.   chals made cali rolls.   i made italian zucchini/mushroom/onion bland stuff (not enuf salt) n' dalk ddong jip upon chals's request.   that's chicken gizzard.   chicken gizzards r cheap!   1 pack @ safeway was like 69¢ or 89¢.   i was wondering if the cashier was gonna freak out @ my buying chicken gizzards.   imagine her saying "ewww! r u gonna eat chicken gizzards?"   then my saying, "nah, we're just gonna feed them to the dogs that we're fattenin' up to eat."   ha ha.   neway, she didn't freak out, but she did tell us she's a cal student n' chatted w/ us a li'l.   well, we ate that fud, drank some beers n' soju, had deanna's awesome cheesecake n' jimmy's awesome baskin-robbins ice cream cake (ha ha).   we didn't stay 2 late.   s.mike drove me home.

k, new paragraph!   let's discuss how those hooligans @ american beauty made those homophobic remarks n' almost started some big fight in the theatre.   hrm...   so what's up there?   like, u know i'm totally heterosexual, no attraction to men whatsoever.   really!   i mean, i know i joke 'round, play gay now n' then when i goof off.   but it's only cos i'm comfortable w/ that.   i know i'm not gay.   i don't mean to belittle gays when i joke 'round, i'm just being silly.   k, i got this random msg from a stranger on my yahoo! messenger.   this person reads my yahoo! profile.   when yahoo! profiles 1st started, they would ask u:

turn ons:

thank you and congratulations to all the appropriate people...   phew...   the roll call is done...   i hope i didn't leave out anyone, but of course i did!

taekwondo bantam/featherweight ???

exactly a week after i graduated from cal, I found myself in stanfurd's maples pavilion competing in the 16th annual stanfurd open taekwondo championship.   weighing in at 150 pounds, i sparred as a featherweight in what they dubbed the bantam/featherweight division for black belt men of 131-150 pounds.   what an experience...   i had a lot of fun...   that sums it up.   i didn't take home a medal.   i lost my first match.   i had no clue what to expect; i had not sparred in competition since i was a green belt.   and i never sparred as anything lighter than a middleweight.   (of course, most places would call a 150 pound guy a welter or lightweight at least.)   but i felt so much better fighting in that weight division than as a middleweight.   i want to thank mark barish for coaching and supporting me.   of course, i have to thank vivian and josh for coming out to cheer for me.   and also i gotta thank mr. kim royce, mr. kevin stefanek, rick vierra, and jean hsieh for coming down to stanfurd from berkeley to watch the berkeley crew compete.   wow, what a day...   oh, i also competed in poomse (forms) and didn't do too well.   but i'm working hard on everything this summer.   i'm just getting started!

i have big taekwondo plans for the summer.   i'm helping mark barish teach the yellow belt class here at the university of california martial arts program (ucmap) and am coordinating our demonstration team.   big plans!   and it'll be all fun.   no school!   just work and taekwondo!   ha ha ha!

asia or bust!

i'm transpacificbound.   vivian, her brother victor, and i are heading off to taiwan and hong kong at the end of this month.   this is one great summer!   i've got to get things organized.   *sigh* lots of stuff to do!

i haven't written here in a very long time.   two reasons: 1) i have been very busy with projects and papers.   2)i wanted to write about something but never got around to it and didn't want to write about anything else until i wrote about this.   hrm...   you follow me on that?   what i wanted to say is: remember last time i wrote?   i said that i was in a bad mood, this, that, et cetera.   well, i realized, after the fact, that i was not getting enuf rem sleep.   i needed to dream.   in other words... meaning morrissey's words:

"haven't had a dream in a long time."
-- from the smiths' "please, please, please let me get what i want"

i think the very nite i wrote about my miserable condition, i had a big, crazy dream.   i dreamt about stuff, crazy stuff.   i was on a road trip with vivian and a friend.   the friend changed from one person to another.   i think we were coming home from disney's animal kingdom, though i had no clue where that was.   i ran over my friend's foot in the parking lot.   we had a big fight about it, he and i.   it was a physical fight, i mean.   then my friends ken and nelson appeared out of nowhere and commented on our fighting styles.   i beat up my friend.   then i got home and realized that it was my wedding day, and vivian and i were supposed to get married.   there were all sorts of people over expecting a wedding but i wasn't ready.   i remember that dr. min, our martial arts head instructor, was there.   my mom was showing me this video tape of what my wedding was supposed to be like.   she had some wedding planner pre-plan a big package deal with a yacht and stuff.   that was all on the video, but why were we in my house... which wasn't my house in real-life but a big mansion.   and i was sad while watching the video cos i saw that i wouldn't have a best man or groomsmen.   then my dad sat me down and asked, "are you sure you want to marry this girl?   all you have in common is that you do martial arts."   then i got all furious in that son sorta way and passionately disagreed.   i probably stomped out of the room.   i was in the kitchen and realized i was only wearing calvin klein boxer briefs.   i also realized i had nothing to wear for my wedding.   i ran upstairs to my room.   i looked in my closet.   i found a garment bag full of clothes that i had bought at nordstrom's but forgot about.   i took out the bag and opened it.   i found a tuxedo, but it had a kilt instead of pants.   then i found two pairs of pants: gray and olive, no black.   i looked through the other clothes in the garment bag; they looked too effeminate for me.   i started thinking, "hey this doesn't make sense.   this couldn't be my wedding; it must be my engagement party."   while i was picking my clothes, my sister was there.   i asked her about this, but she said that, no, this was indeed my wedding.   i called vivian on the phone.   she was also a little confused but confirmed that the situation was real.   we decided to go through with it.   but i wondered, where are my friends?   i tried to call toby, but i dialed the wrong number.   i didn't try to dial again cos i was too busy.   vivian showed up at my house and started getting dressed in my sister's bedroom.   i knew she was in there cos the door was open; but i didn't peek cos i knew it would be bad luck.   i wasn't done dressing, but vivian came out of my sister's room.   she hadn't started getting ready.   i was worried about bad luck but then told myself, "it's only bad luck to see the bride after she starts getting dressed."   i forgot what we talked about, but we talked about something.   and then, of course, i woke up just when i was about to have things under control.

free time

that was a long time ago...   now it's dead week.   my last dead week.   and don't forget that berkeley students don't get a real dead week, we get a dead three days.   and, in the past, the university used to play a cruel trick on us and say, "friday, saturday, sunday... there, that's your dead three days."   fortunately, they were nice to us this year and gave us tuesday thru thursday of this week.   well, my only final is on may 20.   that's my anthro 161 final.   i'm taking that class pass / not pass.   i turned in my paper for that class.   i worked hard on it, i think.   it was entitled, "the joy of sex with batman: a study of the batman sex legends."   i wrote about a couple of urban legends involving sex and batman.   don't read this and think i'm weird; you know this stuff happens all the time in urban legends.   you know it does.  . anyway, i hope professor dundes likes my paper cos i take some pride in it.

well, now i have a little free time.   i sleep too much, i think.   i play stupid computer games too much.   i don't see my friends enough.   i went to target a couple of times.   i went shopping.   i drove around a lot, all by myself.   *sigh* why by myself?   it's been too gloomy lately.   the weather stinks!   i want may sunshine.   whatever happened to "when may is rushing over you with desire to become part of the miracle..."? (from 10,000 maniac's "these are days")   i cleaned my bathroom.   i bought a new shower curtain, which is actually just a new shower curtain liner.   i now realize that i have never had a proper shower curtain in my bathroom, only shower curtain liners...   i guess i'm really uncivilized.   well, the weather has been winter weather!   it's awful!   and i don't eat properly.   i just stay in my room all day.   i didn't mention that i got really sick last week, or actually the week before that.   and i am still recovering.   i'm going to graduate next week.   what's going on?   where is everybody?

at least i hung out with phil a couple of days ago.   we went to au coquelet, the café.   i've got to get out more!   what to do?   it's like i'm either sleepy or hungry or sick.   this is awful.   i don't know what to do: sleep, eat, or go out.   i tried to go to taekwondo yesterday night and ended up feeling sick.   what's going on?   i don't know.   should i go out?   should i go to the library?   should i work out?   should i stay in?   well, i stay in.   i stay in too much.   and the weather outside is awful.   and no one e-mails me!   whine whine whine!!!!!   oh well... i'll find something to do.

[124am]  i've been sitting here listening to a dance remix of natalie imbruglia's "torn."   y'see, i've got it repeating.   not like you'd have it repeat on the typical sony kinda cd player, i had to make a loop using my pioneer cdj500s.   it's different.   so the end result is one long, long, long, infinite remix of "torn."   this can really drive someone crazy.   honestly, i've had a sorta crummy day today though, so i'm listening to this semi-depressing song that's been cheered up in the remix process...   how can dance music be depressing?   it makes you want to dance, so even sad subjects turn to happy stuff.   i probably ought to sleep.   if i ever have crummy days, then i probably got out of bed on the wrong side, right?   so i should get back in bed as soon as possible, right?   well, i can only exit my bed on one side cos the other side's against the wall.

last nite, [meaning two nites ago, 25 april] i saw the big hit.   it was okay.   honestly, i thought it'd be better.   it's really funny though.   i dunno...   i won't say too much about it.   see it, but it's okay if you wait for video.

well, only so many days left of my undergraduate life.   *sigh*   but i won't sigh.   the time has come!   life progresses.   you know how it is.   it's time to move on.   so many friends have passed on life after graduation...   my time has come.   there's things i didn't do as a college student.   but i suppose there are just some things in life that i wasn't meant to do.   like i never worked at a fast food restaurant, but was i ever meant to?   sometimes i wonder about that exact question...   as a kid, i worked as a newsletter folder and sender.   i folded and sended lots of newsletters.   i'd prefer to call myself a publications distributionist, of course.   so that's the job i had as a kid; i never worked in a fast food joint.   i don't think i ever shall.   but isn't that what lots of people did as kids?   hrm...   oh well...   and so i can say "oh well" to lots of the things in life i never did.

so peter tsai asked me what else besides my girlfriend is on my web page.   i told him, lots of text... writing... writings about thoughts... thoughts about everything.   well, peter...   if you're reading this right now, then you probably figured out what deep thoughts i have on my web page...   have you ever worked at a fast food restaurant?   e-mail me at: beno@uclink.berkeley.edu.

well, this "torn" supermegaremix is sorta getting on my nerves now, so i should most probably go to sleep.   thank you for reading this installment of the beno journal.

"hot hot hot!!!" is a cure song, of course.   actually, it's about drugs and getting high and stuff.   but i'm talking about the hot weather of today.   [meaning 22 april, 1998; it's 1244am now.]   my room's warm right now.   i feel like it's summer.   it'll be hot in asia when we go.   i gotta get used to hot weather.   it's getting hotter in the martial arts room, and i'm sweating more.   that's good.   i was getting sick of all the cold weather and the subsequent hardships on flexibility.   but luckily it's getting warmer!   so it's good.   ah... remember the good ol' days of last summer when i was training for my black belt?   i could do splits anytime, anywhere!

okay, now it's 108am cos i just got off the fon with vivian.   so what's new?   i'm going to compete at the stanfurd taekwondo tournament on may 30, 1998.   i'm going to do that; yes, i am.   i have a little over a month to get ready.   hopefully, i can fight in the lightweight division.   it doesn't look like i'll get to go to the taekwondo korea trip, though.   that looks like a package deal, and that's not what i can do or afford.   what else is new?   hrm...   i dunno... i should go to sleep.   it's too hot to sleep.   that reminds me of a kicking giant song.   it's called "she's real" and is on their alien i.d. album (available on k records).

tonight it's too hot to sleep and i dreamt all night
-from kicking giant's "she's real"

well, i'd better start getting used to hot weather, right?   and i shall.   my tolerance for hot weather has increased, remember?   i used to not have much tolerance for hot weather, but i've gotten better.   like, i don't wear shorts nowadays.   sweat.   hot weather's good.   i miss it.   i'm rambling, should sleep.   goodnite.

since starting college, i have always tried to limit my number of interests and hobbies.   in high school, i had many hobbies, especially many different hobbies in music.   my parents discouraged that; they thought my time was spread too thin.   so when i got to college, i stifled many of my interests and tried to focus on just school.   but many cannot live on bread alone.   i still deejayed.   and i took up taekwondo.   in the past year or two, taekwondo has become a very, very, very big part of my life.   but when you get that involved, sometimes you feel pressure and stress.   but that's all part of being dedicated to an activity.   in the past six years, i've gone on several snowboarding trips.   i liked snowboarding right from the start because it reminds me of my skateboarding days.   and i also learned snowboarding really fast because of my experience with skateboarding.   i didn't go on too many snowboarding trips because i never had the money to spend.   i figured that was a good thing because i didn't want to get too involved.   i didn't want to be a real snowboarder, just an occasional one.   i didn't need the burden of another hobby.   and i thought, "snowboarding?   man, it's getting to be more like skiing, an elitist's sport!   all you see is rich white people and, to a lesser extent, rich asian people on the slopes."   but this weekend, i've had an awakening experience.

this saturday, vivian and i made a day trip to boreal.   i had the best day of snowboarding in my whole life.   vivian agreed she did too.   we spent the whole day in the snowboard park, jibassic park.   i got really comfortable with catching bigger air, got really comfortable with method airs, tail grabs, tweaked out grabs, and 180s.   i know i've left beginner territory, even though i don't consider myself an expert as i'm not the one doing 540s and 720s six feet off the ground.   but i've gotten too involved now; i think i'm actually a snowboarder.   what have i gotten into?   well, luckily, i'm leaving the realm of unfinanced student and soon entering the professional world.   thus, hopefully, i'll have funds for this newly official hobby.

also, i have to mention that i think that snowboarding is actually becoming less of an elitist sport.   i've seen a lot more racial and gender diversity on the slopes and a lot more types of people on snowboards.   i think that's good.   snowboarding is something everyone should be able to experience, you know?   because it's a sport that's gotta be done up in the slopes, not everyone has access; and that's a shame.   but i wish there were programs to take under-privileged kids up to the slopes to experience snowboarding.   i think it's worth it.   this year, i donated some money to the police athletic league (pal) program.   i think a group like that should take kids up to the slopes.

my last semester winds down

boreal is only open one more weekend for this season.   time flies.   we now find ourselves well into spring.   and i find myself well into the end of my last semester.   you know how i feel: i hate to leave this college life but know i've outgrown it.   i mean to write a big long piece about everything i'll miss about berkeley and college life.   but one thing i know i'm outgrowing for sure are long sleepless nites.   college kids can get away with staying up till two every other nite cos they get to sleep in every other day.   but i know that i can't do that much longer.   and it's okay cos i'm getting tired of that.   i see the benefits of waking up when the sun is still fresh in the sky, the benefits of getting as much sun as possible.   sun makes me happy.   last nite i went with vivian and her friends to nation's giant hamburgers to study.   i studied my me 135 because i have a final exam on thursday for that class.   while i was there, i figured i'd eat a little bit, so i ordered a giant grilled chicken sandwich, fries, and a small soda.   i've had that order many times.   i've also often ordered the two egger breakfast or the four pancakes.   i haven't eaten many burgers there, but i don't eat burgers too often, you know... at least not ones made from cows.   i've been to nation's many times in my berkeley life.   y'know, it's one of the few places in the area open 24-7, (as the kids used to say).   nation's is a good place to eat breakfast at nite.   even though denny's used to have $2.99 grand slams, that price never applied to late nite diners.   (anyway, nation's is a better restaurant than denny's, as is almost any restaurant not operated by the kkk.)   ah, nation's...

everyone has a terminal disease; it's called mortality.

i remember hearing that quote this weekend.   i'm pretty sure i heard pastor wayne ogimachi (of oakland's christian layman church) say it and not some character in city of angels which vivian and i watched on friday nite.   it was a much better movie than i expected.   critics were too harsh on this movie.   and i'm glad i saw it in the theatre not on video.

forever young, i want be forever young
do you really want to live forever?
forever and ever
-from "forever young" by alphaville (and recently covered by dj company)

why do i quote that cheesy all-time favourite?   only cos the dj company album is spinning in my cdj500 right now.   otherwise, i would not have mentioned it.   dj company reminds us of the real mccoy, right?   well, i was just thinking: if there were a song to be the anthem for the past few years at berkeley, i'd pick the real mccoy's "another night."   obviously, that song has joined the ranks of "bizarre love triangle" et al as one of them asian club anthems.   but that's not my reason for picking it.   i dunno why i pick it.   hrm...   well, it's probably the song i've played the most while deejaying.   but i hate to neglect all the time i spent as a rocker, right?   i shouldn't neglect all the great guitar-based rock of the past few years.   what about all the music i shared with fahad?   what about juliana hatfied, the jenny thing, frenté!, blur, jawbreaker, green day, smashing pumpkins, shonen knife and all the classics like morrissey, the cure, and rem.   well, the answer is obvious!   my college life has been split in two: freshman and sophomore year in one half, and junior through senior years in another.   you see the split?   long, dyed hair in one half; short, buzz-cropped hair in the other.   lots of guitar playing and wishing to start a rock band in one half; evenings spent remixing music, deejaying, and recording an album of benomixes in the other.   indie label beno in one half; corporate sellout beno in the other.   doc martens in one half; skechers in the other.   pop tarts in one half; powerbars in the other.   1981 toyota corolla tercel in one half; one of two blue volvos in the other.   wristwatch in one half; pager in the other.   plaid pants in one half; designer jeans and khakis in the other.   but some things have stayed, for better or worse, constant: 2520 hillegass ave. #218, taekwondo, jesus christ, non-white socks, heterosexuality, taking showers naked, safeway, my bedsheets, lack of time, mourning doves, my sister's purple hairbrush, nation's burgers, beno@uclink.berkeley.edu, my pajamas, "bizarre love triangle" and new order in general, rice, liberal politics, being called "beno," and all sorts of other things of which i cannot think at the moment.   i wish i could say that all my friends have been really constant...   i mean, i don't have bad friends...   gladly, i've gained some; but i've let too many drift away.   some friends seem to have not changed too much, such as phil huang and ed park.   of course, they have changed so much, but somehow a lot has stayed the same.   vinnie has changed his hair so much.   fahad eats meat!   i guess, i've said i've changed.   toby?   well, he's gone from small time music enthusiast to big time music star!   hrm...   i dunno...   where is everybody?   people graduate.   i haven't seen lots of my friends in a while.   and i shouldn't sit here in my room all day writing this dumb journal entry cos i definitely won't be seeing my friends in here anytime soon.   okay, let me out into the sunlight!   see y'all laterz!   (as the kids used to say.)

now, it's 1215am on 16 april, 1998.   [see, i was writing earlier tonite, click here to go to the true beginning of this entry.]   that's the danger for me in writing in my journal just before midnite.   i have to split my entry over two days!   at least i dared to make the split at a semi-logical point.   it actually turned 1205am somewhere in the middle of my jia-jiang mien / cha jang myun paragraph.   therefore i have written these two entries in between days...   "inbetween days" is a cure song.   i listened to my staring at the sea - the singles album (cd) for the first time in a while.   thus, i listened to the song "inbetween days."   phil and i used to talk about this song so much because of the way it starts out:

yesterday i got so old
i felt like i could die
yesteday i got so old
it made me want to cry
--from the cure's "inbetween days"

you know how phil and i have to be so nostalgic and everything.   so it makes sense that we ponder these words about aging.   but phil and i haven't talked much about these lines lately.   phil and i haven't talked as much lately, actually.   but phil's like that, he admits.   he can be a hermit.   he paged me last week, but i was too busy to return his page.   i meant to e-mail him.   i wrote an unfinished letter that sits in my eudora outbox.   i forget; i may have deleted it.   i know phil was talking about the words to fleetwood mac's (also smashing pumpkins') "landslide" a while ago; probably the last time i talked to him.   he was thinking of the "even children get older" line.   "i'll get older too."

i phoned nelson tonite.   i talked to him for a while.   i told him about my future trip to asia which i have not yet discussed here.   yes, vivian said that her dad will give me a ticket to hong kong this summer.   we plan to at least go to hong kong and taiwan.   i guess i really need this vacation.   i haven't been out of the country since my trip to england and scotland with the san josé youth symphony orchestra right after i graduated high school in 1993.   oh, i guess i need to update my passport as it expires this may.   a new passport and a new student i.d.!   ah, whaddya know?   all i need is a new driver license!   anyway, nelson...   nelson says the biz down south is the same old same old.   his little sister and her friend are visiting right now cos they're on spring break.   (they're high schoolers.)

gee, if only phil read this page more often...   basically, the stuff i'd write in a letter to him would be the stuff i write here.   you know that?   tell phil to read this page more often, if you see him!   but this applies to all my friends.   i talk about stuff here.   hrm...   but some of it's not so important, huh?   true.   but i know phil likes to read, so he can read all this.   well, i'm going to sleep now.   i'm waking up early cos vivian's coming over to eat breakfast here.   i have eighteen eggs.   i have a potatoe and an eighth of an onion.   i have turkey lunchmeat and fat free cheese.   the turkey's fat free too!   ed used to come over and make breakfast for vinnie and me.   he'd make ed mcmuffins... with canadian bacon!   ...which is basically ham, right?   i've got to wake up early to dice the potatoes and onions.   okay, good nite all!

i talk about the weather.   i keep talking about r.e.m.'s "pop song '89" each time too.   what about 10,000 maniacs?   don't they have a song about talking about the weather too?   i sure think so.   well, today [meaning yesterday, since it's sometime in the early hours of tomorrow now.] started out like the typical mid-april day in berkeley, ca.   it was pretty sunny just as it's been for much of this week.   sunshine.   i didn't need a jacket, just a light sweatshirt.   then i went to teach our taekwondo class.   i got to the martial arts room, and it was burning in there!   someone had turned up the heat really high.   then we opened the door to the outside, the emergency exit.   i felt like it was august.   it was great for stretching!   by the end of our class, it had started raining outside.   then as i sat waiting for my black belt class, it started raining hard.   then it hailed!   huh?!   whuh?!   how can that be?   it was pretty warm earlier today....   hail?!   and there was a poor doggy tied to a tree outside the rsf.   they kept making announcements to tell the owner to come fetch the dog.   doggy...   i like doggy....   look at this page: the klee kai.   it talks about a very kewl dog, a hybrid between an alaskan eskimo and some small dog, i believe.   i really like!   i like dogs.   when i heard the announcement for the owner to go fetch his/her dog, i had to go run up to the front just to see this doggy.   that's when i saw the hail!   everyone was watching the hail.   everyone could hear it banging on the skylight.   it was hailing, and it was sunny!

where's my student i.d.?!?!?!?   i can't find my student i.d.!   luckily the rsf guy was nice enuf to let me in.   those stupid reddy realty people washed the walls of my apartment.   my window leaked!   i had to clean that up!   stupid reddy realty!   i'm really annoyed at reddy realty!

a new identity... or at least a new i.d. card

[1145pm on 15 april, 1998]   since i haven't been able to find my cal student i.d. card, which i may have dropped somewhere in some library (but i seriously doubt); i went to get a new one today.   do you realise the significance of this?   see, i was among one of the last class of incoming freshmen to receive the old, blue cal i.d. cards.   students coming in from 1996 on received a white card.   now i have a white card.   where's my blue card?   i dunno; it's probably in my apartment somewhere...   but i really don't know.   the new cards just don't seem as good as the old ones.   the old one were... hrm... like old ca state driver licenses.   the new ones are like price costco membership cards.   however, the new ones are made really quickly.   i didn't really smile in my picture.   i wasn't sure when the guy was going to take the picture.   he said, "on the count of three... one...."   then he looked up.   was i supposed to be smiling already?   then he started over, "one... two... three."   he figured i wasn't the smiling type, i guess.   but i would have smiled if i weren't confused and didn't have this extremely bright light shining right into my eyes as if i were in a mug shot.   ah... i'll miss my old i.d. if i don't find it.   however, my old i.d. picture didn't look too much like me cos i was at least thirty pounds heavier in that picture.   my hair was really different and not quite the same colour.   oh yah, the old i.d.s had a nice script cal logo on it...   these have a cheesy university of california berkeley logo and seal.   i prefer the in-your-face cal logo.   the font on these new i.d.s have no personality.   but, i guess, i have gotten out of the stone age; i have the new cal student i.d.

i ate lunch with vinnie, josé buerra, and a guy named greg.   i knew josé from foothill, my freshman year.   he actually remembered me.   i remember people, but not everyone remembers me.   but he remembers me.   these three guys are graduating chemical engineering seniors.   although the ordered food from taste of taipei, i met them in the durant food court with food i ordered from bear's ramen house.   i had jia-jiang mien.   since it's actually a korean place, i ought to call it cha jang myun, whatever... same difference.   these noodles were actually pretty good, but i didn't like the sauce as much as sauce i've had elsewhere.   restaurants always cook jia-jiang mien differently from the way my mom cooks it, which is the way she taught me to cook it.   restaurants and the instant noodle packs always have a deep, rich brown coloured sauce.   my family recipe has a light brown coloured sauce.   i guess everyone puts different ingredients into the sauce.   i've seen shrimp, pork, tofu, onions, zucchini, sea cucumbers, of course also real cucumbers and maybe carrots, and now potatoes.   i've never had these noodles with potatoes in it till today.   the dish was sorta pricy at $4.85 (including tax), but i enjoyed having this dish which is one of my all-time favourites.   at least i ate something worthwhile today.   for breakfast, i ate leftover curry rice.   for dinner, i ate a bunch of turkey cold-cuts.   *sigh* why did i do that?   i didn't have bread!   i would've ate sandwiches, but i had no bread!   i wish i had bread.   but i wanted to at least eat the meat for its protein value.   [entry continues on 16 april, 1998.]

curry chicken

today, i cooked again.   i used to cook so often, but i haven't cooked in a while.   i cooked curry chicken.   toby ate with me.   i should go to 99 ranch and buy lots of stuff and cook lots of stuff.   yesterday night, i thought i felt an earthquake; but i was mistaken.   we haven't had an earthquake in a while up here in norcal.   i consulted usgs website to find out that we didn't have an earthquake.   what did i do today?   i mixed lots of dance music this afternoon.   i did some research for my anthro 161 project.   i'm still looking for a book the book of nastier legends by paul smith.   i went to the main stacks for the first time in a long time!   i used to go there very often back in our junior year.   toby and i went a lot.   and we'd go with lots of friends.   we'd study there; we'd goof off there.   we'd go there to study but looked forward to the study breaks.   it was the hangout spot!!!   [of course, moffitt library's a party spot too...   it was the meat market for my freshman year, especially since the stacks didn't exist yet.]   the main stacks are kewl.   the facility is mostly underground.   it was all renovated during my freshman and sophomore years, and earlier.   my sister never got to use this nice facility.   it's huge.   uc berkeley sure owns a lot of books!   but i heard that our budget cuts have knocked our library ranking down to fifth place in the nation.   that's sad.   but it's still not too bad.   budget cuts suck!   education is good; budget cuts are bad.   luckily, we've had good weather lately.   the yahoo! weather forecast for oakland, ca says we'll have good weather for the rest of this week.   c'est bon.   i like.   i might go snowboarding on saturday.   joe eskanazi had another funny column today in the daily cal, "games o' berkeley."   read it if you have time.   joe eskenazi is funny.   guy branum isn't.   well, i'd like to sleep now.   tuesdays and thursdays are my busy days, you know.

i stole this quote from homer simpson [episode 3f24 of the simpsons"el viaje misterioso de nuestro homer"].   the family is at a springfield art and chili festival.   marge wants to look at some art, but homer wants to eat spicy chili.   i really enjoyed this episode of the simpsons.   [for more information regarding this episode, "el viaje misterioso de nuestro homer," please visit the springfield nuclear power plant website.]   tonite, i picked up my guitar for the first time in ages!   i only have my acoustic guitar because al liu has been borrowing my electric guitar for something like two years now.   [hey, doofus!   gimme back my guitar!]   he keeps saying he'll give it back to me, but he's in san josé.   anyway, i played guitar!   whadya know?   ah, music used to bring me so much pleasure.   ah...   you've seen my music page, right?   of course, you have.   well, i miss being able to enjoy making music.   i'd like to spend more time playing guitar and mixing dance music.   i really would.   i really wish i could explore more of the artist's life.   you know that i wish that engineering students here could have more opportunities to do that.   that's one thing i wish i could improve about this engineering college.   but oh wellO   i also wish i could sit around and watch more simpsons, right?

back around 1993, i listened to a band named sugar, lead by bob mould, formerly of hüsker dü.   sugar had an ep (short form album, or whatever) titled beaster.   i suppose the title was supposed to challenge christianity.   i remember the cover had something like a bloody rope on it or something.   well, today is easter.   [right now it's 1250am.]   you all know the meaning behind all this easter biz, right?   jesus died on good friday and came back to life on easter, the third day of the passover.   and of course, history has it that the holiday has been popularized by the fact that the romans (or "pagans" as some would like to say...) had a holiday at this time of year.   so now we have easter bunnies.   we have easter candy.   we have easter eggs.   when i was a kid, i thought that easter ham was all about spiting jews since they can't eat pig.   hrm...   is that what easter ham's about?   i wonder what dundes would say about that as a professor of folklore.   i mean, this past week, he talked about some psychological implications regarding lots of christian oral tradition.   of course, i wouldn't say that easter ham is a biblical tradition, but it is a tradition that belongs to a christian society.   why do some families eat easter ham?   ...because they always have.   though my family isn't necessarily a "christian" family (with two christian parents, et cetera), we often ate ham on easter.   why?   i dunno...   well, today is easter.   would you believe that jesus died for the sins of the world, including your sins, and came back to life?   would you believe that?   well, would you?   why not?   does it just seem too hard to picture?   this whole jesus incident happened so long ago, right?   is it not scientifically provable to you?   is it just something you don't want to think about?   is christianity just a white man's religion to you?   maybe it all just sounds too ridiculous for you.   but many things are ridiculous in this world.   i see too many so-called open minds close when the word "jesus" comes around.

well, yesterday [which was not long ago, since it's 106am now.], i help with the ucmap taekwondo demo at the uc berkeley eggster hunt.   the eggster hunt is this easter egg hunt that the school puts on for little kids.   there's a club called the eggsters here at uc berkeley; they, of course, organize the bulk of it.   however, lots of other clubs also donate their time and effort.   we did a demo.   toby and his uc men's octet sang.   i also saw a lion dance group and the cal hawaii club.   the campus also hosted an asian pacific islanders (api) issues conference, a meeting of a bunch of different collegiate api clubs from different campuses.   i had no part in that, but it sure looked like a good event.   it's good to see asian-american unity and campus activism.   it was really weird to coincidentally run into this event cos i just got my first issue of my a magazine subscription the day before.   i felt good being on campus today because it was so alive with active students.   you know i can't stand apathetic students not willing to donate any time to any causes.   lack of involvement is exactly what berkeley (the finest academic institution, of course) is absolutely not about.   and lack of involvement is what being a college student is absolutely not about.   mike lim and i were discussing how there are so many things which can only be done at this age.   and there are also lots of things which can only be done at this age or else after retirement.   but anyway, i get pretty mad at the thought of college students only looking after themselves, and themselves as individuals.   that's just not right.   of course, i know some students get burnt out (or disenchanted) by all the student activism of high school; but those years were small beans anyway...   this is where it counts.   hrm...   but what's the hypocrisy of all this, of course?   how active am i?   hrm...   i'm not the most active student anyway...   but i'm making a point!   in any case, what i saw on campus today... i like!   it's good to see students displaying talent and interest.   it's very good.   extra-curricular activities are important.

why does running water make you want to go pee?

oh yah, i went shopping in the city today with vivian.   we took bart.   bart is good; it takes you right to the mall.   d'oh! bart!   we ate lots of greasy food today.   we've eaten lots of greasy food lately.   grease and fat, grease and fat.   i was reading something in the ucmap newsletter about endorphin addiction; some people get addicted to exercise.   i think i've become like that a little.   it's better than being addicted to food.   ...and of course better than a drug addiction.   honestly, i was a little depressed this past week.   i didn't get much sleep and was locked up in lab for many, many hours.   so i hope that fahad and vinnie will understand why i had to ditch them on friday; i've had a busy week.   sunday begins a new week.   today begins a new week.

i guess i have a little bit of good facial recognition skills; therefore, i am right-brain dominant.   but i'm right handed!

east bay ranch 99

[it's now 910pm.]   today a bunch of us went to ranch 99 (a.k.a. 99 ranch) after church.   [ranch 99 is an asian supermarket chain.]   a new ranch 99 opened up in the east bay area.   i'm not sure if it's in albany or richmond, but i know i was there.   i saw dr. min and his wife there too.   i ate stuff.   i saw lots of live seafood.   i couldn't believe i was at ranch 99.   it was like being in the berzerkeley jungle one second, then being in the silicon valley suburbs the next.   it was an odd experience, but i sorta adjusted to it.   i'd like to spend more time there.   it's about time that the east bay got a ranch 99; it's about time all these asian berkeley students got a ranch 99.   that's what this place needed!   fortunately, we got our hot pot city on university avenue last year.   but i have only been there once since it opened.   that's odd; why don't i go there more often?   it's like if it weren't there; i'd say i'd go there all the time.   but when i get what i wish for, i take it forgranted.   people take things forgranted, you know.   and this ranch 99 is located in what is called "the pacific east" mall or plaza, [i forget which].   there's a sanrio store, a goldilock's bakery, a cosmetics store, and a coriya hot pot city coming soon.   this is very good.   very good, indeed.

the east bay area has lots of cultural diversity, and fortunately a good deal of cultural awareness.   i saw a bumper sticker the other day: "it's not our differences that keep us apart.   it's our failure to recognize and celebrate these differences."   i think i'm very blessed to be in a community with many different peoples.   i realize, now, that this racial blend is what i've gotten accustomed to and what i feel is missing when i return to the suburbs of the silicon valley.   of course, those areas have more of a racial blend than most of the united states; but less than this part of the east bay.   sometimes, i think that the suburbs over there [at home?] are filled with only whites and asians.   but that's not true.   san josé has a big latino population too.   it doesn't have as many african-americans as the east bay, though.   i'm pretty sure that that's true.

i think it's good for me to be aware of my culture.   what i don't want to be is yellow trash.   i don't want to be blatantly asian and yet not have any education about what it all means.   i've seen yellow trash.   i don't use that term maliciously to demean anyone.   i just think there are lots of asian youths of my generation who make a big deal out of being asian, but don't really think about what it all means.   these people aren't from any particular social clique or anything; i realize lots of readers would think i'm referring to the asian gangsta types.   but not necessarily...   i think i am thinking a little in the direction of my little "student activism, asian-american panethnicity" lecture i imposed upon you a few paragraphs ago.   i'm not talking about going off and joing clubs or anything...   i'm just talking about awareness.

full circle.   back in 2109 etcheverry.   it's sunny right now, but it won't be for long.   i heard it'll rain this afternoon.   but i couldn't find my umbrella as i was leaving for school.   that's not good.   i wish i could go outside and enjoy the sun.   i wanted to this morning, but i was doing stuff.   i was checking my e-mail and eating brunch.   i ate leftovers, but it was truly brunch cos it was lunch food at around 1030am or so.   this week i had to turn in my me107b report on the use of methanol in a canister combustor.   i had a break from etcheverry thanks to spring break and my attempt to avoid this place the week before and after.   but i'm back.   etcheverry won't let me wander too far.   i'd like to enjoy my last month of undergraduate life at berkeley.   i'd like to go to cafés and go to libraries and sit on sproul fountain eating noah's bagels.   ah...   'twas the life...   i remember the first semester of my junior year.   where did those days go?   i only took two classes.   i could sit out in the sun (and it was sunny back in those days.) and eat noah's bagels while sitting on sproul fountain as preacher eddie talked on and on.   friends would stop by and say hi.   "it's sitting beno, the latest sproul celebrity.   he sits and eats bagels.   come say hi."   but those weren't the best of days.

we all have good days and bad days, but vitamins are good for your body on most days.   therefore, i purchased some at safeway last nite.   vitamins can be expensive.   i also purchased some fat free entemann's raisin-oatmeal cookies.   they are certainly tasty.   i put my cookie monster poster up.   i bought it a while ago at super k-mart center.   it resembles them old billboards and also says, "got milk?"   i like.   toby says that he saw a t-shirt with a cookie monster picture, and it says, "got cookie?"   i haven't seen that t-shirt.   nor have i seen toby in recent days.   he cut my hair all nice, but i've been hiding in etcheverry ever since.   if only he cut it before spring break or something.   he shall be singing at sather gate in one minute.   he'll be singing with his uc men's octet.   they are the western regional collegiate a capella champions.   they'll win the national title on may 9, 1998 at carnegie hall in new york.   he wants me to go watch him, but man....   that's new york!   i can't go to new york!   i haven't seen toby in a while, but i ran into a lot of people last nite at sun hong kong and safeway.   okay, i should go to my turbulent jet lab now.   me107b calls for me again!

so they say...   we're getting plenty of april showers; shall we get our just share of may flowers?   we shall see in a few weeks.   till then i'll have to work hard, study hard cos i want to graduate in may.   *sigh*   the final weeks of my undergraduate life...   so what did i want to talk about tonight?   i forget.   vivian and i had a late dinner at koryo wood barbecue, (a korean restaurant, if you couldn't figure that out).   it's one of the best places in the berkeley vicinity (telegraph avenue on oakland), simply because it's open until 200am.   also, it's so great cos you get a lot of food for less money than you would spend at like, lyon's, or somewhere that's open late.   and korean food is good, of course.   well, afterwards we went to study at au coquelet, the café on university ave. in berkeley.   that place is also open late.   i think it's open until 200am too.   what can i say about cafés?   engineers don't get to study in cafés very often; that's what i can say.   but i take whatever opportunities i can get nowadays as my uc berkeley days dwindle away.   y'all know, of course, that berkeley has one of the highest numbers of cafés per capita, right?   of course paris, france beats us, i suppose.   ah, cafés...

cafés of berkeley

in the past, my favourite was definitely wall berlin (durant ave.).   "wall" is the alternachic, punked out, i'm-not-mainstream kinda place...   an old friend of mine rosalyne shieh works there.   i really liked that place for the first 1.5 years of berkeley.   and i still like it sometimes.   i think towards the second semester of my sophomore year i started going to caffé milano (bancroft way near telegraph ave.).   it's a trendy place somehow related to the espresso roma business.   i remember a bachelor friend of my told me, in my sophomore bachelor days, that milano was the place to view beautiful girls cos that's where all the girls were, and we could sit on the mezzanine for a view.   but anyway...   cafés, i'm talking about!   as a freshman, i vowed to never patronize caffé strada because i found it to be the trendiest place full of the most pretentious of berkeley's population.   but i broke that vow several times after my sophomore year.   why?   well, i find the place to be kewl in its own way with so much outdoor seating (even though the patio just makes it "a place to be seen" for the vain) and its surprisingly low prices.   a large italian soda costs only $1.05 there.   of course, it ain't worth anything over 20¢ ; but i know other cafés charge more.   so i go to strada.   i was just there with my buddy eric chang on thursday.   i've patronized c'est café once or twice during my junior year.   vinnie always hated that place strictly because he found the name corny.   many of my friends, including vinnie, have commented on how that café is a waste of space as it is located at berkeley's prime (i really mean prime, as in #1, numero uno) spot, the corner of telegraph ave. and bancroft way, right across from the busiest entrance to the university.   however many feel that the bath & body works across the street is a worse use of a good location because it caters primarily the female portion of the campus population which is no more than 50% at best.   though i wouldn't really say i protest the existence of that store, i do agree with my friends that an in-n-out burger would be the best business for that location.   if the in-n-out people were to just setup an in-n-out right there, they could go straight into retirement.   that place would run itself and continuously churn out profit day in and day out.   anyway, cafés!   i've also been to the café mediteraneum, or café med, i guess they say...   it's a nice place, a little more low key than wall berlin, but along the same line as far as i'm-so-phucing-alternative...   in fact, probably more so.   but i've been there.   northside, engineerland...   northside has caffé nefeli, the greek café, and brewed awakenings, the professor's café.   both are expensive but pretty good.   i dunno...   both have so much less hype than most southside cafés.   oh, i'm leaving out one of the most important cafés of my berkeley existence...   sufficient grounds, the korean/asian café...   actually, that's probably the best café to study at...   of course, i've got my friends who can't study there cos they're too busy checking out the girls, once again...   but me, i've studied there.   i've always appreciated their generous amount of lighting, something amazingly hard to find in a café.   an old friend of mine, sam myong, used to work there.   he graduated from cal a long time ago, 1993; then he eventually went to sfsu for grad school.   i remember a funny incident at sufficient grounds (durant ave.): it's located right across the street from the unit iii dorm.   i was there with cynthia lee and cherise sun, fellow leland high school 1993 graduates.   cynthia commented, "you can tell whot the freshmen are [crossing the street] cos they all have ice cream cones."   that's cos all the berkeley dining commons (d.c.s) serve soft serve ice cream at every meal (at least brunch, lunch, and dinner, i forget about breakfast); and freshmen literally eat it up.   unit iii had the best soft serve machine too; foothill had the worst.   well, that's not all the cafés i've been to, but i think that's all i want to say about cafés in berkeley...   i'm an engineer; do i go to cafés?!   i remember once meeting a classmate for studying at wall berlin...   oh, i forgot to mention the international house café on piedmont ave. at bancroft way.   well, that's a place...   in fact, it was probably the first café i went to in berkeley...   well, okay...   now, i've said it all...   there are many, many, many more cafés in berkeley, and i've been to many, many others...   but i don't necessarily want to talk about them right now.   [it's 231am.]

tomorrow morning (this morning), i'm going to go help out at the wushu tournament at the rsf.   i hope it goes well.   i can't believe it's raining and cloudy and all that.   *sigh*   what a weekend.   what a weekend...   my caffeine high, or whatever you call it, is coming to a crash...   good night.

the first day of april brings a partly... mostly cloudy sky.   i bought a half dozen noah's bagels with my sweetie pie and went to caffé strada to get a large, freshly squeezed orange juice.   i saw vinnie (vincent gueriguian) and talked to him for a long time.   i am now in 2109 etcheverry.   ah, etcheverry...   *sigh*   oh well...

i'm going to help master park move boxes from the rsf to dr. min's temporary office in hearst gym this afternoon.   other than that, i'll do school stuff cos i'm a student.   well, i'm going to keep looking for a job too.   yesterday, i finished publishing my professional résumé on my website.   hopefully, someone will bother to look.

[later]now i'm at home.   i'm eating bagel sandwiches... chicken breast meat inside sweet bagels.   i quickly moved those boxes for master park with the help of raymond kim.   i've got things to do.   "now i've got things to do, and i've said before that i know you have too.   when i'm not there, in spirit i'll be there."   i took that quote from depeche mode's "shake the disease," a song i really like.   well, i've put lots of time into writing this journal and improving my website lately, but i've got things to do.   i'll talk to you later... probably, sooner than you think!

anyway, how did i wander to that subject?   spring rain...   weather talk is good, no?   let's just talk about the weather and be friends.   it's cold.   it's windy.   i wish i had my big, yellow jacket.   sad.   want jacket!   how am i going to keep warm on my way to the rsf?   i think i'll have to drive.   uh oh, but do i have change for the parking meter?   yes, i think i do.   now, imagine if i were a columnist in some paper.   what if i wrote all this babble as a newspaper column.   gee, would people read what i write?   ha ha, as if anyone reads what i write here...   only very bored people.   bernard k. huang once read lots of my web page.   bernard k. huang is not bernard l. hwang.   we are two different people.   both of us went to leland high school, and both of us now go to uc berkeley.   who reads my journal?   i dunno.   *sigh*   somebody paged me this morning, "41-54111-1112-5173," meaning, "hi, saw ur site," as in, "hi, i saw your web site."   who is this person?   is it ed park?   is it jarvis mak?   it's not vivian, is it?   no, this person left no code.   could it be just another aol stranger who wandered into my pager code site?   i should upkeep that page a little better.   it's the page that gets the most visits.   it gets lots of traffic.   hrm...   i should.   why doesn't anyone read this page?   hmmmph!   am i that boring?   well, it's okay... most people are boring, n'est-ce pas?   je n'sais pas.   ah bien.

well, i saw lots of students campaigning for the asuc elections.   ah, asuc elections...   they will never be the same...   where's ed park when you need him?   we need a man like ed to lead the asuc senate once again!   ah....   oh well...   toby and i have always pondered the idea of chalking for ed for no reason.   i mean, he can't run for asuc senate, but we can still chalk for him, right?   then again, i could do my homework, right?   *sigh*   ah, those were the days... chalking for ed park.   you know i'll always say, "ah, those were the days."   i'm not living in the past; i'm not overly past-oriented.   i just say it all the time.   in fact, i haven't said it in a while.

life in the present is fine; it's great.   i have a wonderful girlfriend; i'm about to graduate from the best university in the world; i have fun doing taekwondo; i like my friends; my friends like me...   nuts! but i don't have a dog!   doggy!   doggy!   s'all good, n'est-ce pas?   you can't have a dog until you have a kid.   else the dog will get jealous of the kid and try to eat him/her.   anyway, i went snowboard lots.   snowboarding is very fun.   do i dare eat a peach?   life is good.   i feel young and alive, no?   i have a nice haircut, thanks to toby.   i get lots of rest.   besides dogs, i like burdies.   in fact, i really like burdies.   i really do.

i have lots of leftovers in my fridge: half a roast beef sandwich, one chicken breast in barbecue sauce, a quarter of a huge la burrita burrito.   i had la burrita with my friend and lab partner aaron dickey.   aaron's a nice fellow from san ramon.   san ramon is in the east bay area of northern california.   aaron didn't go snowboarding this break.   but we are both lost after coming back from spring break.   we'll find our way.   is that kewl song called, "the way"?   i thought it was "the wave."   i'm talking about "where were they going without ever knowing the way?   can't you see the road that we're on..."   i really like that song.   it's groovy.   only some six weeks left of school.   ah...   school...   i'll miss uc berkeley, you know...   ah, some things will never be the same...   one can never go back to the lazy and stoopid days of the freshman dorm days.   oh, it's sunny now.   you're kidding!

[later... 1103pm]   i went to taekwondo, taught and practiced.   i felt uncoordinated after a week away.   when i was a red belt, i always said that the difference between a red belt and a black belt is that a black belt can go without practicing for a while and still perform well, fight well, and all.   i dunno...   me?   okay.   i ate leftovers from lyon's.   i like.   i took the leftover half of the san francisco roast beef sandwich (roast beef, jalapeno pepper, jack cheese, and thousand island dressing between slices of buttered toast) and stuck a barbecue chicken breast in it.   i like eating two meats at once!   it's so carnivorous!   i also ate the remains of my la burrita burrito.   it was all so tasty!   i like!

swatch says, "time is what you make of it."   that slogan appeals to me.   but remember the smashing pumpkins line from "tonight tonight": "time is never time at all.   you can never, ever leave without leaving a piece of youth"   that makes me think that there is never enough time, right?   well, i should be thankful for what i've been given; and i am.

[now it's nightime; i wrote all that stuff above in the morning or afternoon, i forget which.]   toby cut my hair, and we watched the simpsons together.   i ate some cereal, tuna helper, and apple with toby.   we also watched the uc men's octet movie which he made.   ah, uc berkeley...   all sorts of things i shall miss.   the campaign chalkings have started.   two years ago, we were involved with all that hoopla...   ed park #49 for asuc senate!   ah, toby and i would go out and chalk, chalk, chalk.   we'd campaign, campaign, campaign...   pass out free ed park comics, made by eric chang.   that was the closest to fame i ever gotten at berkeley.   all that standing around passing out comics... and the picture of my chalking in the daily californian.   *sigh*   that was the closest, i think.   people see me deejay stuff, but they don't know who i am really.   people see me around taekwondo, but i'm not on the team or anything.   it's funny cos some girl once tried to say hi to me while i was at the blue nile (an ethiopean restaurant here in berkeley) then realised that she didn't really know me but just always saw me in taekwondo.   it was a really awkward situation.   she just said, "hey......." and tried to think of my name.   i was pretty sure i didn't know her.   i didn't even recognize her.   she said she knew me from taekwondo.   i asked if she was one of my students.   eventually she got embarassed cos she realised she indeed didn't know me.

it's funny, though, n'est-ce pas?   what constitutes "knowing" someone?   i see the beirut [beirut's that middle eastern restaurant on northside.] guy all the time, but we never formally introduced ourselve; nor were we ever formally introduced.   i've heard that his name is mustopher, and i'm sure he's heard my friends call me bernard.   but we always greet each other and talk despite never using names.   he's a nice guy.   and he always talks to this girl, dalia, who's from my high school.   see, dalia and i used to know each other.   we were leland high school french club officers together.   but we don't say hi to each other anymore.   funny, huh? these two situations juxtaposed...   oh well, not such a deep thought, you know!

it's cold and cloudy out now.   it will rain tomorrow.   i left my big, yellow jacket in san jose.   i do have my new banana republic jacket, but it's too formal to wear to class.   at least i can't wear it on a regular basis.   i might have to wear it a few times this week.   at least i have an umbrella here.   here i go talking about the weather again.   why do i always talk about the weather?   "shall we talk about the government?" [once again, i allude to rem's "pop song '89."]   music is good.   i like listening to music.   i like food.   i like spicy, hot food.   i try to eat healthy.   you know that i'm now trying to gain muscle.   see, before i was trying to lose fat.   but i've shifted my focus now cos i've lost a lot of fat, i guess.   but i don't want to gain it back, of course.   fit is good.

phil hasn't talked to me in a while.   that's odd.   the friday before break he was supposed to come over in the morning to use my printer.   he didn't come over until late, so i had already left.   he needed to print out a quiz for his students.   (he teaches middle school latin.)   i wonder what kind of quiz his students got because of my not being home.   hrm...   but i haven't heard from phil.   where is phil? *sigh* monday's gone.   tomorrow's tuesday.   tuesdays and thursdays are busy; mondays and wednesdsays are better.   friday, i go to work at ebmud.

[even later on this day...]   vivian and i went to lyon's in emeryville to have a late dinner together.   i like lyon's.   i've said this before, but i'll said it again.   it's a good american restaurant.   we saw phil there with his friends jukka and darren.   so i see phil.   i once took phil to lyon's for breakfast.   lyon's, it's a good restaurant.   the people at the emeryville lyon's are good people; they treat people with respect, unlike most denny's.

so what's with this title, "semi-charmed life"?   i dunno.   in order to live a semi-charmed life, your life must be somewhat charmed.   charmed, meaning?   [as fahad would have said back in our sophomore year.]   i dunno...   charmed meaning under a magical spell? enchanted?   i dunno....   charmed meaning adorned, embellished?   hrm...   i never really thought about it.   the thrid eye blind song is that sorta alternarock that you assume has some deep meaning, but you just assume.   i dunno; i can't say i'm a big third eye blind fan or anything.   if it were a cure song, i'd know the meaning and origin and all the allusions, of course.   until i figure out what third eye blind means by a "semi-charmed life," i'll just be one of the millions who have that term bouncing in our heads without any concrete explanation.

i'm done with the last spring break of my undergraduate life.   i tried my best to live it up.   i went to tahoe twice.   i'm getting better at snowboarding, let me tell you.   i finally did the halfpipe!   not well, but i tried it... at northstar.   i pulled nice method airs at sierra's snowboard alley.   i finally snowboarded with toby.   we always said we'd snowboard together someday.   unfortunately i wasn't able to do any fancy stuff that day at sugar bowl.   i knew i had to save my body for a second day of snowboarding.   i didn't want to get too sore or anything.   we had fun fun.   snowboarding!   ah... i'm getting my second chance to do all the things i wish i could've done on my skateboard back when i was a kid.   now i'm doing all those things... just in the snow.

this spring break, i also got a chance to see old friends.   i wish i could've spent more time with everyone, but at least i got a chance to catch up a little.   i saw ed park for the first time in ages.   he's going to m.i.t. for grad school.   can you believe that?   m.i.t., i tell you!   berkeley wasn't good enuf for the edster!   but for now he's living in sunny sunnyvale, california.   wow...   he's in the south bay, while i'm in the east bay.   we've completely switched off!   crazy stuff!   he's got a nice apartment.   i should visit him more often.

i also deejayed a wedding for peter wang and ann lo this saturday.   unfortunately no one danced too much.   but vivian and i played lots of dinner music, i guess.   it was fun.

gee, while i was down in san jose without access to a computer, i had lots of things to say.   now that i'm typing stuff out, i can't remember what i wanted to say.   hrm...   i remember telling ed how weird i feel in san jose these days.   for the first four years of college i felt fine switching between worlds, berkeley and san jose.   but now i've crossed over; i don't feel so normal in san jose.   i've become too much berkeley.   it's not the actual cities; it's the difference between the urban life and the suburban life.   hrm... what to say about that?   i dunno.   i can't believe i spent the whole week without doing any taekwondo.   i was a snowboarder not a martial artist.   weird.   a week in the life, let me tell you!   spring break...   spring break is a special break for the college student.   winter and summer breaks are for working and summer school.   but nothing important can really get accomplished during spreak break, nothing important to the working or academic world, at least.   thus students must party.   no choice, must do.   party.   so i went to tahoe with friends and with vivian.   i ate too much mcdonald's.   i lost my sunglasses!   i lost them in stupid auburn, california at some stupid chevron station.   man, that's not fun!   but i won lots of stuffed animals at circus circus.   that is fun.   fun fun.   what else did i do this break?   i shopped at valley fair, bought stuff at banana republic.   i bought cds; that's nothing unusual for me.   hrm...   what else did i do?   i bet i gained weight.   i was 154 pounds before spring break.   i haven't been that light since hrm... middle school?   remember, i was a really fat kid.   i ate lots of bad food and didn't exercise much.   i don't think snowboarding or skiing really exercises much, does it?   hrm... i dunno, maybe walking up to the top of the halfpipe is exercise, especially at these high altitudes.   i wish i could do some hiking.   and i wish i could do lots of stuff.   doing stuff is kewl, better than just hanging out.

this weekend, the uc martial arts program hosted the 29th annual uc open taekwondo tournament at the rsf fieldhouse here at uc berkeley.   the tournament had something like 750 competitors.   it was huge!   i was once again in charge of the concessions committee.   we were out in the sun selling hot dogs, pizza, bagels, muffins, sodas, snapples, frappucinos, sushi, and a bunch of other stuff.   i think we had a good time.   unfortunately some volunteers probably got sunburnt.   luckily, we got a tent over our heads in the later part of the afternoon.   what a sunny day!   california le old me it might rain on saturday.   he was wrong.   i am glad he was wrong.   what a nice weekend.   shall we talk about the weather?   [an allusion to "pop song '89" from rem]

spring, spring, spring...   i shall be very happy to see you.   sunshine smiles!   barbecue!   ah, graduation!   i used to dislike spring because the spiders would come out in spring.   however, i've lost some of my arachnophobia.   spring, spring, spring...   but today is cloudy.   hrm...   oh well.

so spring break, what to do?   i shall snowboard!   i must obtain a second neoprene knee brace.   i've got to protect my knees.   snowboard!   yah, snowboarding!   did i mention that vivian bought a snowboard?   she bought a santa cruz h-type (153, 2x).   i like it.   we'll snowboard this spring break!   yes, we shall.

the bay area was blessed with a few days a pure sunshine, but today we recieved yet another rainy day.   rain, rain, rain...   in my high school days, i used to say that i liked all seasons equally, that every season had its good points; but i did appreciate the beginnings of seasons more than their dragged out endings.   well, now i've matured out of those days of complacency and declare that i prefer summer to winter!   (no longer am i a boy, but i am a man!   my opinion empowers me!   i shall soon grow narrow-minded and become so much more!   hrm... it's not good to be so sarcastic, you know?)   well, i prefer summer.   did you know i'm sorta flexible?   i mean, i usually can do the splits in all directions.   see, i prefer summer cos the warm weather keeps my muscles flexible; and it keeps my joints feeling nice and loose.   cold weather and rain just makes me feel yucky.   and i've definitely come to realise that i'm happier in the sun, many people are, you know.   *sigh* but 'tis alright.   i'm indoors in my cave (2109 etcheverry hall).   'sall good.

now, i'd like to thank everyone who actually reads this part of my web page.   i'd like to thank everyone who has signed my guestbook recently: josh yim, brandie barrows, grace and steve lynch, tai huynh.   some people visit my page, but don't sign the book: kevin yip, aaron dickey, andrew cao, and many others.   i know a lot of people visit my page from america on-line.   i don't know why, but they do.   i'm talking mostly about a whole bunch of people visiting my pager code web page .   but a few others have come looking for my music and deejaying web pages too.   oh yah, before i go on, i realised that people might have trouble viewing my guestbook with netscape.   i know i have had troubles!   for some screwed up reason, it only works with ms internet explorer...   that's not good.   i'll try to resolve this problem when i have time.   in the mean time, you can view it using internet explorer.

i realised that i don't have links to my old journals, which i called my manifesto.   i changed the name cos i realised that word was getting very trite, thanks to ted kazcinsky.   (did i spell that right?)   anyway, here are the links: the beno manifesto and the beno manifesto, part ii .

well, in the time you spent reading this paragraph, i managed to fix my guestbook so that it works with netscape and internet explorer.   my next task will be to put my resume on line.   anyway, enuf of this stuff for now let's waste some more time talking about junk.   i've wasted time talking about junk lately, with phil, josh, and toby.   such people have been talking to me about relationships.   people tend to do that, talk to me about relationships...   well, i have one, and i think people can be happy in relationships.   there once was a time when phil, toby, and i all had girlfriends.   now, only mine remains.   you did check out my vivian peng web page , right?   of course you did.   anyway, we talk.   josh and phil wanted to get an opinion out of me: they wanted to know what physical features in a female attract my attention... in a good way, that is...   *sigh* i couldn't really say much.   back when i was a single man and could let females attract my attention, they did so just by being pretty.   sorry, but i can't explain it.   i won't say any numbers or cup sizes here cos i wouldn't be able to.   you can't quantify beauty...   or you can... cos i remember the scientific unit of beauty is the "helen," named after helen of troy, of course.   so a woman can be 1 helen, 0.874 helen, 58.2 helens, or 8763 e75.9 helens.   but where can i find instrumentation to measure this beauty?   maybe fluke or omega engineering makes a beauty meter with a laser scope, so you can just aim and shoot.   well, superficiality can go both ways, (2 out of 2 ways in a heterosexual view.   i'm being a jerk and excluding non-heterosexuals here, i guess.) women can say stuff about men's looks.   phil said that an article he read in some fashion magazine stated that women do not prefer muscle men.   in fact, muscle men rated second to the bottom, only beating out "pear-shaped men."   but i knew that.   most women i have ever spoken to about this topic have said that.   nelson yee told me that his polling of females came to the conclusion that women prefer men with a little bit of love handles.   philip said that he knew may men who prefer women to have a little bit of a belly, but "two or three folds is too much."   phil mentioned that one thing remains constant about this topic across all cultures: men will always prefer hips wider than the waist, that a woman's hip to waist ratio must always be greater than 1.   i remember that nelson's newsweek or time (i forget which, but i think 'twas newsweek.) article about beauty mentioned something similar.   he also stated that the "ideal" woman had the face of a twelve year old.   i did see the article, but i didn't read it thoroughly.   so the more we talk about superficial features, the more worthless we realise it all is.   soo desu ne?   n'est-ce pas?   dwei bu dwei?   isn't that right?

so what was important to beno when he was out looking for a mate?   i remember some psychology student at cal gave toby a survey to give to me about this... oh, actually it was a survey about pornography.   i think it was esther that gave it to toby to give to me.   esther, the girl from hong kong that had a nice lexus.   i think her last name is lee, but i can't remember.   anyway, i had to name the three most important characteristics in a potential female mate.   i picked: 1)personality, 2)looks, and 3)musical ability.   i picked personality first without hesitation because "personality" is such a broad term and encompasses so much!   i picked looks cos i knew i had to be honest.   i picked musical ability...   yah, i did...   other choices were things like: wealth, education, race, and religion.   there were more, but i forget.   this is a discussion topic, and we shall discuss it some more later.   for now, i've got to get to class.   ttyl!

yesterday, we celebrated valentine's day.   vivian and i went to dinner and then watch titanic at jack london cinemas.   honestly, i was very pleasantly surprised.   i didn't expect it too be such a good movie.   of course, ken saw it some four times, but i figured maybe he liked it for the special effects or something.   no, it's really a good movie, a great movie.   i give it my seal of approval.

so i finally got my two pioneer cdj500-iis, limited edition in fact.   (special thanks to nelson yee!)   i've been fooling around with them and love them.   what does one look like?   click here to see a picture.   coincidentally, as soon as i got back from san diego with my new toys, i got a call for a gig.   i have two weeks to get ready.   i've got to make business cards now...   i can't procrastinate any longer.

really! secret about microsoft excel for windows '95

our journey through this journal begins on a monday afternoon.   i sit in "emf," the uc berkeley evans microcomputing facility, located in the basement of evans hall.   today is the first monday of the spring 1998 semester, (as this semester began on a tuesday), and thus the last "first monday of the semester" that i shall experience without a college diploma.   it's a long trip from here to may 23, 1998.   but, of course, i shall look back upon it and wonder where all that time went.   you know i'm a very nostalgic 22-year-old.

ucsd trip #4
yesterday, i returned from a trip to ucsd.   kenneth lee and i drove his 1993 geo metro down the 5 (interstate 5).   we had both discovered the glory of 92 octane gas.   for some reason touchless carwash on oxford in berkeley was selling 92 octane gas for $1.299 last friday.   i filled my 1986 volvo 740's tank up to its limit.   i think gas costs more in california than elsewhere in the nation because i heard that the average gallon of 87 gas in the u.s. costs $1.15.   usually 87 costs $1.299 in berkeley at touchless, more elsewhere.   down in san diego, we went paintballing with about 20 other people.   we shot each other up in the jungles of borderland, a paintballing place near the mexico border, somewhere near the olympic training center down there.   i was unfamiliar with the geography, so i can't tell you exactly.   i had a very good time, playing about 11 games throughout the day.   for the first two games i died quickly.   but i then learned to stay low and not rush to the opponents flag like a lamb gone to slaughter who feels like running like a chicken without a head, probably cos he heard too many cliche similes.   so we killed and were killed.

san diego, ucsd, the whole socal thing; it never ceases to amaze me.   i think people down there must simply have a little more money than we have up here.   or it's just more unevenly distributed.   perhaps i mean to say that socal must have more rich people.   socal has lots of people.   socal has all sorts of empty land too.   cars drive faster, as i keep saying.   i think it's a fun place to visit.

snowboarding trip
the previous weekend, i went snowboarding at boreal.   i had a really good time, though the weather tried its best to ruin it.   jibissic park!   ahh...   that kept me occupied for an afternoon with its two big jumps and quarter pipe at the end.   i like!   method air!   yah, that's what it's all about.   snowboarding gives me the chance to do all the things i didn't / couldn't do back when i was a skateboarding kid.   just for the sake of throwing in a link, i'll tell you that i think i like santa cruz snowboards the best.   but guess what; i've never used one yet.   i've seen them, touched them, held them, fondled them; but i haven't used one.   [i used to always ride santa cruz skateboards or ones from other affiliated sub-companies of nhs, inc.]   unfortunately, boreal rented me a piece of crap, old burton board, when i went there.   it's not that i don't like burton boards; i just wanted a good freestyle board, but they gave me more of an old, freeride type.   i especially wanted a bidirectional board.   last year, i remember i had an original sin board which i liked. i forget what other board i used on that trip... hrm... i forget!   i've used other burtons before.   i had switch bindings.   i liked them okay.   i have yet to try the clicker bindings.   i know i like switch better than straps!   i did, however, have problems with snow getting into them, but it all beats having to strap in after every lift!   i like snowboarding.   it's fun.

okay, it's time for me to leave emf and go look at prof. dibble's door to see what lab i'm doing today.   see ya.